The Livy Method Podcast - Let's Talk Body Image with Tanya Gelsomino - Fall 2024

Episode Date: November 14, 2024

In this guest expert segment, recorded on November 14th, 2024, Gina talks body image and tips for dressing your changing body with fashion expert Tanya Gelsomino (Yaya & Co.).You can find the full video hosted at:https://www.facebook.com/groups/livymethodfall2024Topics covered:Embracing the new you!Taking care of how we show up and express ourselves matters.Tanya shares her 3-year journey.Tips for embracing yourself and showing up along the way.How that "feeling good" feeling influences our day.Dopamine dressing – Creating confidence and joy.Shop strategically - Maximizing wins and minimizing budget.How you talk to yourself matters.Find your shopping support person.Ditch the number - Tanya’s tips for navigating sizing and style stressors.How to work with your wardrobe along the way.Basics and layering pieces – Creating a wardrobe foundation.Learning to trust - Communicating your needs and where you are at.Just do you - People’s reactions and being happy in your own skin.It takes time to see the change we have made.Stop waiting – Celebrate where you are at!Rewiring our brain to create a new experience.Where to find Tanya and a Yaya discount code for Livy LosersFeeling good is what it is all about!We need to embrace how amazing we truly are.Website: yayaco.caInstagram: @yaya_co @tanya_nicole_0033To learn more about The Livy Method, visit www.ginalivy.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm Gina Livy and welcome to the Livy Method podcast. This is where you'll have access to all of the live streams from my 91 day weight loss program. With a combination of daily lives, guest expert interviews and member stories, there is something new almost every day. Miss the morning live? Want to re-listen to one of our amazing guest experts? Well, this is the place. This podcast is hosted on Acast, but it's available on all podcast platforms, including the one you're listening to right now, Spotify, Apple,

and Amazon Music. and move more narrative. And that's where Felix comes in. Felix is redefining weight loss for Canadians with a smarter, more personalized approach to help you crush your health goals is here. Losing weight is about more than diet and exercise. It can also be about our genetics, hormones, metabolism. Felix connects you with online licensed healthcare practitioners who understand that everybody is different and can pair your healthy lifestyle

with the right support to reach your goals. Start your visit today at felix.ca. That's F-E-L-I-X dot C-A. This is an opportunity to become curious. To learn some things. How do we help you feel less overwhelmed so you can continue on your journey? Keep believing in yourself and keep trusting the process. Just be patient.

So you're losing weight or you've lost the weight and now it's time for a new wardrobe. I cannot tell you how many people I sat down in front of and said, okay, based on the amount of weight that you want to lose, chances are you're going to need a new wardrobe at the end of this. How have you factored that in? And they're like, oh, I would just be so excited if that happens. And then that time comes and not only can it be expensive, but it can mess with your mind. Who are you now? What is your style? Actually recognizing and embracing the new you is a lot easier said than done. Now, I don't want to take away the excitement of that, but I do want to talk about the reality

of that. And today, my guest, Tanya Gelsomino, is back with me to talk about how to dress your ever-changing body, but more importantly, how to embrace the new you. Hello. Hi. Hi, Gina and friends. How are you? So we've had this conversation before. Oh yeah. Yeah. And in, in, in, I would imagine giving some thought to our conversation today. Is there anything that you were like, okay, we need to talk about this more, or we haven't talked about this part of it? Well, I just think that, you know, a lot of the time we think of buying new clothes as simple, buying new clothes, but, you know, we talk about going to the gym, eating healthy, deep breathing, being mindful. Also, taking care of how you dress and how you show up to the world can be also a part of self-care, self-expression, and it can be really intimidating.

And I think there's a lot more layers to this than meets the eye. It's not as simple as just go out and buy something new. There's a lot of emotion and thoughts that can go into this entire process. So I think that it's worth a little bit of time because I think we need to pay attention to how we're showing up because it can really help us in the next steps of our weight loss journey. Or once we're done losing our weight in the next step of how we want to show up to the world. Well, especially when it comes to maintenance and maintenance is really about yes, solidifying your weight,

but getting to know the new you and getting to trust yourself, the choices that you're making, and get comfortable with, like you said, how you're showing up in the world. A lot of people don't trust that. They don't trust themselves. And it's so easy to fall back into old habits rather than really fully embracing. And I think so easy to fall back into old habits rather than

really fully embracing. And I think when it comes to your style or your wardrobe or what you're putting on your physical self, that can really help to embrace the new you or it can cause you to disconnect even more. Who am I? This is not right. I'm not feeling myself. Okay, so before we get into tips that you have for us, really talking about that in depth, let's talk about you and your journey. So it's been quite a journey. It's been quite a few years that I've been around here. So, um, yeah, I joined in 2021, just after having babies, the pandemic, it really did me in without realizing I was almost 200 pounds and just miserable. So luckily, I stumbled upon your program. And I within two programs was

able to lose 55 pounds. And really, since 20, December of 2021, I've just been, you know, here managing and figuring out who I want to be and who I am, especially after having kids. And, you know, here managing and figuring out who I want to be and who I am, especially after having kids. And, you know, it's really, really powerful when you can finally take the time to love yourself again. Take the time to embrace who you are and who you want to be. Because it can be a very foggy time, especially when you're in the midst of motherhood and work and running a business. And then next thing you know, you're like, wow, where did the where did Tanya go? And I think that this program allowed me to step back into who I was, but maybe on the next level. And I've just been for the past, what has it been now, three years working through that and really just

understanding what where I'm comfortable and what and where I want to be who I want to be and and how I want to show up and this has been such an incredible journey so I'm really excited to be a part of the community and to share you know all my fashion tips and shopping tips and you know get us to love ourselves and recognize that that is really important we need to be doing that more often. Well, from the outside, it really seemed like you embraced yourself at all sizes. And if you go back to some of Tanya's earlier videos on her Yaya, she's the owner of the chain of Yaya stores. And we'll get into that a little bit later. But she would go on Instagram. She's a fashionista. She's an influencer. And, you know, I would see you in these in these, you know, your clothes and you just looked just as beautiful at your larger size as you do now. But that's

something that you've done publicly. And it's not about how you look. I recognize it's how you feel, but you've also had your ups and downs. It's not like you just lost it. You were good to go and off you went. So your ups and downs were seen very publicly because you have shared your journey with so many people. Can you talk a bit about that for us? That it's just not, you reach your goal and you're done and buy a new wardrobe. Absolutely not. I mean, I think at least once a year, I think that I'm going down south, downhill and everything's falling apart and I really got to catch myself. And, you know, I think it happens to all of us. And I think that once you do lose your weight,

I feel like losing the weight was the easy part. And then it's really just figuring out how you're going to continue this entire thing. But what I do want to say going back to showing up at a larger size, I think that when it comes to dressing, comfort is so important. And it's not about the size that you are or the number in your jeans or the size on your dress, but it's how a piece makes you feel. And I think that if we can focus on comfort and feeling, that's really going to help. And I will tell you, I would go in the fitting room and there's been days where I was in tears. Things didn't zip. I started sweating. I just didn't feel myself. But the minute that I put on something that just fit right, that felt right, I stood taller. My smile got bigger and it didn't matter that I was almost 200 pounds. I felt like a million dollars.

And I think that I, in my own closet, I have a size small to an extra large, and I'm probably like 15 to 20 pounds heavier than my lowest low right now. But I really feel confident where I am. I think that's part of the journey to it. I lost that much weight. I'm not that low anymore. But I feel like maybe that was too small for me. And this is where I'm more comfortable. So it's really finding out and navigating how you feel. Because at the end of the day, I don't even go on the scale so often, I really just see how I feel I take a minute to just embrace, like in that moment, how I feel and I can kind of navigate from there, right. So being public, though, was fantastic in the sense that the community really helped me a lot. And I think that that's why so many people have staying power

on this program. And there's been so many success stories, because community is everything. So I really would say at the end of the day, surround yourself with people that are going to support you, because it makes all the difference. Do you love yourself more now that you've lost the weight? I don't love myself more. I think I always love myself, but I think that I love the feeling of feeling good. And I think that it sets me up for my day because you can really see when you walk out the door and you're wearing something or you're feeling good in your clothes or you just feel good, every single decision that you're going to make that day is going to be influenced by that. So I do really think that getting dressed is one of the first things we do

in the morning. And I think that it's setting up the tone of our day, whether that's in the workplace, whether that's in your social connections, whether that's in new opportunities, it's everywhere. And I think that it's so important how we wake up, get ourselves dressed and get out the door. And it's going to make all the difference in the day, right? Yeah. So I want to just reiterate that this conversation is for everybody right now. This isn't for save it for when you've lost your weight. This is well, you're just waking up every

day and you are living. You brought to my attention a while ago, dopamine dressing. But then while we're talking there, you were talking about, I was thinking like dress for the job that you want, right? Like I've always heard that dress for the job that you want, not the job that you have. And is there some truth in dressing for the life that you want, or is that getting ahead of ourselves if we're not prepared? 100%. 100%. So first of all, what is dopamine dressing? So let's get there. What is dopamine? It's a feel good hormone, right? It's a feel good hormone. It's going to make us happy. It's going to give us energy. It's going to bring us joy, confidence. Okay. So that confidence is going to give us self-assurance. So we need to find items that bring us joy. By bringing us joy, you're going to have the confidence to pursue new things.

So a lot of people will say, well, I'm not sure that I can have this opportunity, or I'll be able to go to the gym, right. But if you dress in a certain way, so it's like this, I'll make it simple. So a lot of people maybe have a new exercise routine, or you're joining a gym during your weight loss journey. You know, you're intimidated, the gym can be a very intimidating place. Maybe you've never gone before. You don't know what to expect. Maybe you'd be afraid people might judge how you're working out. Buy a really nice new gym outfit. Put it on. It's really new. It's beautiful. It makes you feel good. When you're going to walk into that gym, even though you have no idea what you're doing, that outfit might give you the confidence to really just show up and be there. And then as you fake it, I say, eventually you're going to start getting into the

groove, but kind of putting it in your mind. I think it's all mind over matter. If you're putting on that blazer, you might feel a little bit more powerful walking into that job interview, right? So when you're walking into a party or a wedding and you have a beautiful dress you feel confident in, you might see that you might make some new social connections and, you know, go about your, the wedding with more confidence and talking to more people and getting on that dance floor. So I think it's just gaining the confidence is the first step. Interesting. I'm thinking about intention because I have this, I have this comment here from Nina. I'm down 24 pounds today.

Yay. So first of all, amazing. She writes feeling like I'm emerging from my cocoon of body camouflage clothes, floppy, flowy, heavily patterned to distract from my body shape are all not feeling

great anymore. And jeans and a cute top, even a funky belt is where it's at, even got a racy red bathing suit. It just occurred to me that people's intent, what is your intention behind dressing? And a lot of people might just be used to looking at clothes as camouflage, as distraction. And, you know, you say, oh, buy an outfit that makes you feel good. There are people who might not even understand what that feels like or how to go about that. And before we get into this conversation about buying new clothes, I do want to be mindful of people's finances. So there are a lot of great secondhand stores. There is maybe doing a swap with your friends, those of you who are doing the program with a bunch of your friends,

you can get together, swap clothes, swap sizes. There are ways around obviously spending a lot of money if you have the luxury to do that. I love that for you. But a lot of people don't as well. So let's talk about being intentional. What are what what are, let me ask you, what are the kinds of things that you would look for even at your bigger size as opposed to where you're at now? Well, I always say take the, the emotion out of shopping and really look at it a little bit more strategically. We need to be mindful. A lot of the tools you learn in this program, you can use in your shopping experience. So really think about maybe an area of your body that you really love. Is it your collarbone? Is it your strong legs? Do you have great arms? Like everybody has that one area that they love.

Focus on that first. So if you're going to go in looking for items that will complement that, that's a really great start because it'll give you that positive first stepping stone. And then I say this too, like be kind. Not every piece of clothing is going to work for you, even if you have lost 24 pounds. It's body changes and what looks good on your body at 150 might be much different than your body at 125. So I think that you have to be open to experimenting, trying new things. And what I would say is really focus on positives first and be kind. Remember when you look in the mirror with anything, what you always said this and this resonated with me a lot during the program is how do we speak to ourselves? What do we say about ourselves? Do we negative self-talk? Would we say that to our best friend? So when you're looking in the mirror, instead of focusing

on, oh, this gives me a muffin top. I don't like it. I don't feel good. Focus on what you do like. Maybe you love the color. Maybe you have a beautiful blue sweater. The fit is not right. And that's okay. But let's not focus on that. We can recognize that, which I think is an important first step. But let's embrace that we just found a really great color that works for us. So why don't we find now something else in that color in a different fit and size. And I think that if you can look at shopping strategically strategically and be open to trying different silhouettes, different shapes and focusing on the positives, I think that it will really set you up for a successful and very empowering experience. Well, I want to also

talk about the salespeople as well, because in my my experience salespeople are like the Julia Roberts you know we all feel like Julia Roberts going into that store and they're all snooty and what are you doing here and at bigger sizes we can really feel like that I am very confident in my style I won't wear like boat neck things like I know exactly what colors like I've got it down where I can go this is why you know in the past I've shopped winners not so much anymore but I just there are people like how do you go in there and find stuff I know exactly what my style is but I recently went to one of your stores and you had someone help me out I was looking for an outfit and I walked in I was on the phone with Sonia I'm like I don't know if I'm going to find anything. And immediately I'm like, I found that brown dress. I was like, oh, that's the dress. But then I was open to other things and your salesperson brought

other things. And I would like this skirt that it ended up getting that I would not have worn. I would not have thought about it. And I was like, whoa, this is like, what? This is amazing. So sometimes we need to reframe our mind we are not Julia Roberts in that store sales people are there yeah okay to help sell clothes but they want you to love the clothes that they are selling to you so I want I want you to talk a bit about that well first of all shopping can be intimidating and I think that it's really important sometimes to just have a support system so that can be a personal stylist or that could be your best friend and you want to make sure it's someone who's supportive of you in your body now that will uplift you and help

guide you so first of all at Yaya one of the things that we do is I I'm all about the Livi method my whole team knows about everybody on this program. If somebody comes in and mentions the Livvy Method, they know that they know the rule. Find out what they love, offer them new ideas, really be open to listening to them and navigating their new body with them. And I think that a stylist is there all day, dressing many different body types, many different ages, many different styles. And I think that that allows us to have a lot of experience. So when Gina Livy walks in, you know, we've had people that maybe have looks like you or have a similar personality to you. So we've done the homework. So we can offer a lot of support, maybe some fresh ideas, and maybe get you

out of your comfort zone in a way that maybe you wouldn't have tried before. And that's why it could be really beneficial to be open to working with someone or just bring a friend that's going to be your cheerleader. Shopping can be intimidating. Fitting rooms can be scary. It can be overwhelming. But if you can set yourself up for success, then you're more likely to actually have success in the end, right? Love that. So I've talked to so many women who've lost the weight and then they go back shopping in the plus size stores. Nothing fits them. They're lost. They're just like not recognizing it can take a while for your body to adjust to the weight that you've lost. But let's talk about sizing because the reality of there are some stores that don't carry the plus plus sizes that some people need.

Or maybe they're in between the stuff at the stuff of the plus size or the style isn't right for them anymore. But they walk into a store like you. I think I know you carry up to XL. I don't know if you carry more than that and you carry online. The reality is, I believe some stores are limited because that comes down to running a successful business. And if there's not a high demand for those larger sizes can be quite costly. What do we do about that? So I some of my maybe I can fit into some of your clothes, not all but then I got to go back into the plus size that can really mess with someone's head. I'm, I'm not quite small enough to shop in a store like you or I'm not quite big enough anymore to shop in the plus size stores.

So either way, I find that can be distressing. So what is your advice for that? I think doing your homework is a great strategy to begin with. Using social media as a tool, Pinterest, Instagram, TikTok, things like that, it can really help you. So I would really recommend finding influencers or photos of maybe some people that you admire that are in your size bracket and really look at how they're dressing, where they're shopping. This can really help navigate where to go next. And then I would also say, don't look at the size. For me, like you said, I have a small to extra large in my closet. And every single day I'm grabbing different sizes because every day we're going to feel different.

Every item is going to fit me different. And then it's just figuring out, you know, what fabrics are going to fit me certain ways, what won't. And once you start navigating that and understanding fit and size, take the sizing out of it. That's not going to define you at the end of the day. The comfort is going to define you, not the size, right? No one's looking at your jeans. Yes. No one is looking at the size. It's like, no one's looking at your scale either, but that messes us up. I, uh, I see Pam here. That's me right now. I'm a mix of XL and plus size. It's been weird trying

on clothes because it is, it is, it's deeper than just the clothes, Pam. It's like, where do you fit in? Right. And there's a lot of conversations about, you know, stores offering all the sizes and all that. The unfortunate part of that is that that can't be reality. And sometimes just like someone who's who who there isn't one size fits all. And I think this is sort of where, OK, maybe you need to be open to going into some new stores that you haven't been in before. And it's not like, am I plus size or am I not plus size? You can be a mix of both, right? It doesn't matter what the tag says at the end of the day. But this, I think recognizing that that does mess

with your head. Where do I belong? Where do I fit? Like, actually, where do I fit? But if you take the number out of it, really don't look at the number. Like, look at it as a project. I want to find an outfit. What steps do I need take to to get the outfit I need where do I need to go doing a little bit of homework prior to stepping into a mall and just being open to trying things it's really going to help help you and just go into it try to take the emotion out of it not everything will fit you the way that you think and if you're just really focusing on comfort that's going to help a lot right And maybe not like I get that there's specialty stores, but just like I'm not necessarily going to one store and buying everything. I'm going to pop in and out of

different stores. I might buy a belt from here. I might buy something else from there. And, you know, trying to take that again, take the emotion out of it and doing the homework. I love that advice. New year, new me. Season is here and honestly, we're already over it. Enter Felix, the healthcare company helping Canadians take a different approach to weight loss this year. Weight loss is more than just diet and exercise. It can be about tackling genetics, hormones, metabolism. Felix gets it. They connect you with licensed health care practitioners online who'll create a personalized treatment plan that pairs your healthy lifestyle with a little help and a little extra support start your visit today at felix.ca that's f-e-l-i-x.ca um okay what about when we are losing weight and we don't want to quite commit to a whole new wardrobe is do you have any tips for making the clothes that we do have like what tips for that

because that's maybe you don't know who you are what what your style is. You were just trying to replace the things you already have with smaller sizes. Yeah. And your style, your style is going to evolve as you're losing weight, just as you're evolving as a person. I think that, you know, maybe your first 10 pounds, you're going to feel a certain way when you get to 20, 60, 70, some of some ladies have less upwards of 80 to a hundred pounds. I mean,

yeah, that's a big change. and that's your style will continue to evolve so what I would say is really start with cleaning out your closet to where to fit where you are now to resonate with where you are now really focus on the items that are working for you and anything that isn't just move it aside that way when you start your day you're going to really be set up for success. And you're going to get that joy and excitement from getting dressed, it has to be intentional. When you get up in the morning, dressing yourself is intentional, you are setting up your day. Now, when if you need some pieces, just to refresh your wardrobe, you can do this in small increments. You can set yourself up a small budget, say maybe every 10 pounds, maybe you want to buy one or two pieces that can really

create a capsule of a wardrobe where you can continue mixing and matching and it'll carry you because we don't need to go out and buy a huge new wardrobe every 10 pounds. It's just not sustainable. So what I would say is really focused on fabrics, stretchy fabrics, elastic, knits, jersey fabrics. These are things that'll shrink with you and they're going to be more flexible. So as you're losing weight, they will, they will go down with you. Um, also like work with really nice basics. Basics are a good way to be able to mix and match. And I would say focus on your layering pieces. That could be a really good tip. Cardigans, bla I call a topper it could just add a lot of interest to your outfit even things like wrap dresses belts these are things that can really help adjust pieces that you already have so that can carry you for a much longer time until maybe you've hit your goal weight and then maybe you

want to totally redo your wardrobe but in process, by buying pieces that are more flexible, you'll have more longevity for sure. Love that. I just saw someone here as well. Like when you are talking to a salesperson, be honest with your journey. I mean, I hear someone else. I feel like sometimes salespeople just want the sale. And of course, they're there to sell you clothes, but they want to sell you clothes. They want you to keep coming back to the store at the end of the day. And listen, if you get the heebie-jeebies from a salesperson, you don't think they're authentic and real go somewhere else. Maybe that's, maybe that's just like, maybe that's just the culture of the store. Maybe that person's just having a bad day or, or whatever. You're not going to connect with everyone.

I think that, you know, really that connection and that bringing down those walls and really having a trust between a stylist and a client is so important. But I do think honesty is really important. If you're really honest about maybe being on a weight loss journey, being in between sizes, you can really help your stylist understand you better. I feel like when someone really gives me more to work with as a stylist, I'm able to navigate their needs much, much better. It's not always easy, right? Even working with a professional, it's not always easy. But the more that you're honest with yourself, the more that you're honest with them, it can really help give them the key information to be able to help you. Right. Well, I'm not like, you know, me, I don't like leaving my house. I mean, I do,

once I get out, it's good. But even when I went in your store and your, and your salesperson was very helpful, I'm just like, I don't know. I'm good. Like I got my dress, leave me alone. Like that's my own insecurity, my own issue. Like, I don't like, you know, I'm just like, that's believe it or not. I know people meet me and it's a different situation, but once I'm talking to someone, I'm good. But that first encounter, I'm just like, oh, I don't know. And she's like, well, do you want to put on some shoes with it? I'm like, no, I'm good. No, she's like, put on some shoes. Well, putting on the right shoes with an outfit is a game changer. So a lot of times it's the walls that we are bringing in to the situation and the environment

it's not necessarily the salesperson who's there to help sometimes it is us sometimes we have to recognize it's all about trust you have to trust yourself first and then you have to be able to trust a stranger it's not so easy but as you can see if you do have a professional helping you it can really get you out of your comfort zone. Like, that's my thing. If you hate it, you hate it. And that's okay. We're not going to love everything.

That's not reality. But just having the tools in our mind to know that already is going to help a lot. Okay. Let's also talk about your changing body and embracing that and your reactions to friends and family and people that you know. Because you very publicly lost a lot of weight. You know, what was the reactions to that? Like, it's hard enough to embrace ourselves when other people are making comments about us. And then I think sometimes, like, fashion brings attention to us.

And we might not be used to, we might like a certain style but we might not like the attention that that style brings so how do you navigate all of that well um I will touch on both comments so uh attention doesn't you don't have to dress so if you want attention and you want to be bold dress in those bold colors and show up in something bold and bright and colorful. If you don't, it doesn't mean you can't dress well. I love black. It doesn't mean I'm bringing attention. Sometimes I think it's my personality that brings the attention, right? But the clothes fit well, which gives me the confidence for my personality to shine. So I think that when I was losing weight, I had comments like, oh, you're kind of big. Oh, you gained weight. Oh, are you pregnant? Oh, then, oh, you're kind of skinny. You're not looking so good. So I've, what is going to make people happy? Nothing. So you have to be happy in your own skin. really trying to shut off the comments. Like when they did bother me, I had to look at why they

bothered me. You know, was I happy in my current situation? You know, at the beginning? No. But I do think that how you dress and feeling good is going to help bring out your true self. It's all a part of self expression. So for me, as I was losing weight, it wasn't so much as how I was dressing, but it was how I just stood so much taller. My confidence was skyrocketing, which meant I was happier. And then what happens is people become attracted to you because you have this self-confidence and people are naturally attracted to that and they want to be around that and they'll gravitate towards you. So I found that I received a lot of opportunity just by gaining that confidence with losing weight. It really wasn't how I was dressing because I dressed fairly simple.

I'm not really out there. I like simple colors. I like neutrals. But yet I started becoming bolder and bolder in my presence. And it wasn't the clothes. I think it was the confidence I was getting from feeling really good and that those simple basic clothes that I was able to like put on and just walk out the door. Well, that's the piece we're not talking about is the confidence you truly are gaining by showing up for yourself every day, by being mindful, by being aware, by really changing the thoughts in your brain as well. Right. And this is why we're able to have this conversation that's so much deeper than, you know, a fashion show that we could be doing. I mean, this is the real work

that you're doing behind the scenes, working through your issues and associations and your beliefs and whatnot and traumas. That's the work that's going to make you feel more confident at the end of the day. And I think that's the thing is that you really truly are changing. You are changing internally. You're changing your thoughts, your feelings, your actions are falling in line with that. And you're changing who you are showing up to be in the world. And I think the clothes that you're putting on can be very representative of that. Here's Bonnie, I know we got to get going soon. But Bonnie says,

I keep cleaning out my closet, because a lot of us do have a variety. I mean, I just I've learned to shop in a variety of different sizes, I get like stretchy clothes that fit through my higher weight, my lower weight, all of that. But some people really legit have like a whole closet full of ranges of different clothes and sizes in their wardrobe. I hate shopping, says Bonnie. Unfortunately, like, so why? Right. Why? I hate shopping. Unfortunately, I don't see what others see after I lost 60 plus pounds? That takes time. That takes time. I still don't see, I still don't see myself the way others see me, I think. And it's hard to accept compliments too. I think your mind takes time to catch up to your body. And I think that's something you talk about all the time. That's why it's, it can be a slow process and that's okay.

No one's expecting you to go shopping tomorrow and have this, uh, aha moment, right? It's just tiny steps that you take. It's a slow process. Even if you went out in a store and even if you tried on three things that day, just three things, don't get overwhelmed. Don't like spark your anxiety. Try the three things and connect to those pieces and just feel them and see, you know, what that brings out in you, what works and what doesn't. Even if you walk away with one item that you like, that's a success. It's this tiny steps that you're taking in self-care. No one's going to the gym and is a bodybuilder the next

day. It's the same thing with building your wardrobe. Showing up to the world can be a scary thing, but I think that with all the things that we're doing in the program, this is all going to help us. And I think the program has so many basic foundations that you can apply to other areas, just like getting dressed in the morning. It is so important. If you're showing up frumpy, what does that tell everybody around you, right? Just put something on that you feel good. Don't be afraid. And if you don't see it right now, that's okay. You will eventually get there. And when the time is right, you will know it. Well, you can even go into like, same thing about that closet of clothes. I'm like, get it out of there. They no longer fit you. If you're not ready to donate them, give them away or whatever, then at least put them in a box, put them in the basement,

get them out of your closet, stick with some pieces, basic pieces that you love are working for you that are working for you right now. But also when it comes to shopping, like shopping is an investment. There's lots of times I will go shopping and I will find something and I will try it on. And I'll be like, you know what? I'm just going to like, if I walk away and I will find something and I will try it on and I'll be like you know what I'm just gonna like if I walk away and I think about it tomorrow or next week like I'm gonna come back and get it if it's still there it's meant for me there are a lot of times that I try on clothes that I don't buy that I will go back to the store and realize okay I didn't think that was quite my style but I think I'm like I think I want piece. So shopping is just as much going and taking stuff home as it is going and trying things on. And seeing what we're doing.

Right? See what does. Free. But what I do want to say on that, though, is some people have said, like, I originally, originally, when I had lost my weight, I wasn't buying anything. And things were looking terrible. And people were saying to me, like, can you buy a new pair of jeans? I'm like, oh no, I'm going to wait till I lose my weight. But what we, how will I know where I'm going to end up? Right. And I think that people forget as you're losing weight, if you're able to just try on some clothes, it can also help you recognize

your progress. Um, just celebrating those small progressions, it really will bring attention to how your body's changing with what areas are changing. And it can help set you up for further success, because you're starting to recognize that you are making change. I know we talked about so many times my second program, I didn't lose any weight till week six. And, um, and people around me were saying, aren't you discouraged? You're this doesn't work. And I'm like, No, I'm fine. Because I still really felt good. But it was fall, I had bought a new pair of jeans, and I had lost two jean sizes, surprisingly. And I said, what's going on here, my body completely changed without the scale moving, which blew my mind. And so I think

that if I hadn't invested in that new pair of jeans, then I wouldn't have seen that. And I think that that was a huge part of my confidence and trust in the program is just realizing it's not always about the number on the scale. And by really navigating your closet and what you're wearing, you can start to see and feel the change. It sometimes needs to be more visual. That's why taking those pictures, even when you're wearing, you can start to see and feel the change. It sometimes needs to be more visual. That's why taking those pictures, even when you're shopping, maybe you like something, take a photo so you can go back and remember that really worked together. I really liked that. Oh, look how I looked in these jeans two months ago compared to today. So it's there like the

visual perspective, I think is really important. And as we said, shopping is free. You can go into stores, you can try something, just make a day, go for fun, give yourself an hour after work or before work. Like it doesn't have to be so formal. It doesn't have to be filled with pressure or stress or expectation. just go try something on and be open new silhouettes, new styles, just try something different, have fun with it. You know, you should be embracing and celebrating the changes you're making, whether it's five pounds or 20 pounds. I think that if you take that little bit of time, just to celebrate yourself, and to focus on yourself, you'd be surprised how that will really, really set you

up for next steps. Oh my gosh, that's such that honestly, that's such great advice. I love the picture thing too, because how many of us it wasn't until we saw that photo that we're like, oh my gosh, I gained all that weight, or it wasn't until they see the photo that they're like, oh my gosh, I've lost all that weight. So that visual representation, it's all about how our brains are also been wired to this experience of shopping very negatively, right? How many of us think about buying bathing suits and are like, oh, I'm so excited to buy a new bathing suit, even after you've lost the weight. So a lot of that is our issues and associations, not only just tied into weight loss or our bodies, but also our past experiences with shopping as well. And we need to rewire and retrain our thoughts around shopping as well.

You just brought it. It's a whole vibe. Tanya, how do people find you? So you can come shop with me at Yaya & Co. That's where we have three locations across Ontario. We are in Niagara and Mississauga and Vaughan. We're also available online to all of Canada. For those of you who are not local, I know there's tons of people that live far away.

That actually, we've made connections through the program, which is fantastic. You can find me also on Instagram. I have a personal page where I do share my journey as well. I am more than just a stylist. I am a mom and I'm a living loser. I'm a very, very proud living loser. So you can find me at tanyanicole underscore 0033. Yeah, I'm on socials. I'm happy to answer questions. I know many of you have shopped with me. I actually wanted to offer questions. I know many of you have shopped with me. I actually wanted to offer everyone a discount code as well. So for those of you who might be ready to try some new things, in-store and online, LivvyLoser25 will give you 25% off your purchase.

I know it's helped so many of you in the past. We've had style sessions together. And it's really nice connecting and really talking about it. And I know my team loves, loves the Livvy Loser community for sure. Because these, remember at the end of the day, right? Maybe when we were 18, we could buy a paper bag and it's going to look good. But you know, most of us in this program have gone through many things in life. We're not, you know, teeny boppers anymore. We've had many body changes, positive, negative many things in life. We're not, you know, teeny boppers anymore. We've had many body changes, positive, negative, everywhere in between. We're figuring out who we

want to be in our next step, our next decade, celebrating big milestones. So I think that like shopping has to be fun. And at the core of everything I say, we go back to the sales person. It's not about making a sale. It's really truly about making someone feel good and look good. Because at the end of the day, if they're feeling good and looking good, they're always going to come back to us. They're going to share that with family and friends. And there's absolutely nothing in my personal mind better than really connecting with someone and making a change for them. Because seeing the smile on their face, when they feel good, when they didn't have any confidence in me or my team, I think like,

it's so incredible. Even for me personally, every day, I'm trying on clothes in front of people, it is incredibly intimidating. I am not perfect. I have a lot of flaws that I'm not happy about, you know, daily, and my body's always changing. So I'm constantly having. I have a lot of flaws that I'm not happy about, you know, daily and I'm, and my body's always changing. So I'm constantly having to navigate that and then share it on social media. And so I go through those feels daily. But one thing I can tell you for sure is when you find it and when you feel it and it feels good, you are unstoppable. And I can guarantee that walking in this world, feeling confident is going to make all the difference and all the weight loss you're looking to have, all the successes and all

the new opportunities that you're looking for from this program. If you can set yourself up in a way that you feel good and look good and can dress who you want to be or how you want to represent yourself, I can tell you the future success you will have is electric. You will for sure be able to continue in a positive way. For sure. Tanya, your whole vibe is electric. And as you were talking, I think there might be some people who never felt confident in their bodies, who never felt that kind of, that they looked good in a paper bag. I think there are people who don't, have never felt like they were really, truly them and they've been covering it up their entire lives. And I think what you just did now

was give us a taste of what that might feel like when we, when it clicks and we find it and we embrace it, honestly, you just made it tangible for us. Tanya Gelsomino, everyone. I hope that you, I know you found some good tidbits in this conversation. I know that it resonated. We all need to embrace ourselves in a variety of different ways because we truly are amazing. Tanya, you are amazing. Thank you for joining me today.

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