The Livy Method Podcast - Let's Talk Finishing Strong with Learning Expert Dr. Deena Kara Shaffer - Winter 2024

Episode Date: April 9, 2024

Gina chats with best-selling author and learning expert Dr. Deena Kara Shaffer about approaching the end of The Program and finishing strong. You can find the full video hosted at:https://www.facebook.com/groups/livymethodwinter2024Topics covered:Finishing stronger than when you started with Deena Kara ShafferMaybe you are crushing it, maybe you are struggling to keep going, perhaps you never got started, but you are here and readyThe opportunity for honesty and focusing on the winsBeing proud of where you are at; The importance of following through and finishingTime anxiety: Are you feeling overwhelmed around time and how do you combat that?Focusing on the outputs of this day, not the outcome, the small things that you put in every day What the diet industry has taught you about the timing around weight lossCorrecting your course: Motivation comes from DOING, not from waitingWhat is real for you? What are your keys to unlocking what is here for youHow do you recognize what you need? Are you basing your needs on others' needs?The continuous conversations with yourself and taking a hot minuteTake the time to sit with yourself and envision where you will be in a yearWhat can you do today that is in alignment with how you want to feel?What do you need to treat yourself the way you would treat your most important person?Getting across the bridge of your weight loss journey and continuing to move forwardCan you forgive yourself for the non-linear path through your journeyRecognizing your needs when all the really deep feels are coming up, could you benefit from working with a counsellor or therapistMobilizing what you need to get across the finish lineWhat is your HOW? What are the things you can focus on?Not all, Not everything!! Utilize the maximizing checklist not to do it all but to identify what you CAN do. @awakenedlearning To learn more about the Livy Method, visit www.ginalivy.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm Gina Livy and welcome to the Livy Method podcast. This is where you'll have access to all of the live streams from my 91 day weight loss program. With a combination of daily lives, guest expert interviews and member stories, there is something new almost every day. Miss the morning live? Want to re-listen to one of our amazing guest experts? Well, this is the place. This podcast is hosted on Acast, but it's available on all podcast platforms, including the one you're listening to right now, Spotify, Apple,

and Amazon Music. I think with dieting, we're always starting, we're always quitting, we're starting, we're quitting, we're starting, we're quitting, we're starting, we're quitting. With the Libby Method, we hear a lot, this is the longest I've ever followed a diet. And so today we're talking about following through and finishing, not just that, but finishing stronger than you started. When we start, we're motivated, we're excited. And then of course, reality sets in. You're not going to be motivated every day to do the things that you need to do. And finishing strong is so important when it comes to following the program, because you want to also finish your weight loss journey. We break the program down into 91 day digestible bits. You start, you finish,

you do another round, you do that until you reach your goal. So we not only want you to finish this program strong, but we want you to finish your weight loss journey. We want you to be done with it, move on into maintenance and then move on and live your life. But that is a lot easier said than done. So my guest today, Dr. Dina Kara Schaefer, she's a learning strategist. She is the author of Feel Good Learning. She knows the program inside and out.

She has been with us many times before and blessed us with her infinite knowledge and tools to help us follow through and finish. Welcome. Hello. We need you so badly right now. Hi, everyone. I saw a comment coming in. It was like Tuesday fam jam. And so that's what it feels like for me too. Hi, everybody. Hi, Gina family. Thanks for keeping having me back. And thanks to all the kind humans who are popping on with their warm hellos. It's really good to be back. And I'm excited to talk about finishing strong. Well, it is. It's like, we're all in this together. And some people we were talking behind the scenes before we jumped on today, we were talking, some people are just crushing it. They feel amazing. They're, you know, they're, they've already reached their goals or they're

getting super close and you know, that's amazing. And then we have people who are really feeling the crunch of the last month of the program and really just, they feel like they've been at it for so long because they probably have, right? Maybe this is their first program. Maybe it's their 15th program. I don't know. Um, you know, just, it takes the time that it's going to take, which can be frustrating. And then some people are showing out, they're doing their best. Life is not making it easy for them. It's sort of like some people are sitting in a situation where it's not where they thought they would be, especially with the amount of work that they're putting in. And then we have people who always happens this time in the program who haven't been following, and they start to see the results of the people that have been following. And they're like,

well, I want that too. And you know, for whatever reason, they and I, you know, I get a lot of responses behind the scenes where people be like, I stopped following for this reason or that reason, usually because they thought it wasn't going to work, or, you know, they didn't really like what we were doing. And now all of a sudden they see, you know, so many people being successful and they're like, well, wow, like the time went by really fast. Like, you know, I want that too, but they have to do the work. And so, and we're just happy, first of all, if you're listening and you're one of those people, we're just happy that you're back. Like it's so normal to stop following for so many reasons. So how do we, how do we address the people who are doing really well? Because that's not to say they're going to finish strong either, because people can sabotage themselves as soon as they

feel and they know they can reach their goal. So sometimes, you know, life is making it difficult for them. How do we help the people who are doing really well? How do we help the people who are like, okay, I know I can do this, but I'm also, I got a lot of feels. So how do we help them rally? And then how do we get anyone who hasn't been following sort of on track to, to, to start following? I know that's a lot, but you're the perfect person to help us with this. So where do we start? Where do we all start with this? I love that. That was the best. I'm pretty sure there were 15 and a half questions in there, Gina.

That's my favorite. Well, well, we start by being here in our bodies together in community. And for those who are making it through in a way that they're feeling proud that they have been you know sticking with change when we say sticking with that doesn't mean perfect yes it's impossible perfect isn't real like sometimes in life the wind's at our backs sometimes we get a lucky break where the conditions are just right including our mind uh including the capacity to sleep our who are living with like all of the pieces can work together sometimes we have enough kind

of inner resourceness to draw upon that even when it's not like that, that against the odds, we're able to stick with whatever our heartfelt intentions are. So for the folks in this group to really make it through these, you know, 12 weeks. Sometimes, ooh, we kind of get kicked when we're down. And so, I mean, to all of those folks, I think that there's the opportunity for honesty. There's an opportunity to go, you know, I saw someone here, I'm not, I'm not going to finish strong, but I'm going to finish. I mean, that's the beauty of it. There's such poignance in there. And that to my mind is kind of finishing strong, finishing strong isn't, I wrote down a number I wanted to be at,

in a way, how arbitrary. We can't know the inner workings, the hormones that are at play, the colds or viruses that we might be fighting off underneath a kind of perceptible level. There's a lot going on underneath the surface. So finishing to my mind, still being here, showing up for a live, writing a morning intention or an evening reflection, those, the kind of data you're collecting, what if, what are the changes that you've implemented? Is it, I'm not, I'm not snacking kind of mindlessly at night. I am moving more. I am getting more outside fresh air time. I am participating in this group with a commitment to kind of positive affirming comments. I am using that positive comment inside my own head, whatever it is, are there small wins and maybe some big ones

too, but I think that's a really good starting place is marking the changes folks have made. Even if it has been a struggle, even if that struggle bus has like some flat tires outside your house and it's like really not been budging for a while. What are the wins? Otherwise, there's a kind of endlessness to it. It's like every day is a chore. So whether you are crushing it or whether you're like, oh, I saw one comment here. I have been off the rails for three weeks, but I'm here. Are wins to be noticed and marked? That feels essential to combat that negativity bias, that the relentless, hard on ourselves vibe we get into. What are the wins? No matter how subtle, feels like a very important place to start.

Yeah, I love that. I love that. Because if you are still here, week nine of the program, that means that you haven't given up on yourself. You are still showing up. And I love what you said about finishing strong isn't about how much weight you're losing or being perfect. That's, that's, that's not it at all. It's really for me, taking a look at what you just said, all the things you've done and learned and, you know, changed and worked through and worked on

and all of that. And what you've learned about yourself more importantly, and bringing that forward, those, the tools and the skills and the self-awareness that you didn't have when you started this program. And I think to finish, that's what I love about our program and breaking it down into these 91 day digestible chunks of time, where you're specifically focusing on this during this time. There's a start date and an end date. And it's so important to follow through and finish because I think it's just with dieting, like I said, off the top, we're constantly starting again. We're quitting. We're starting again. We're quitting and starting again. And you can't blame

sometimes it's good to quit something that you recognize isn't working for you. And so I think that's important to point out because with all the other past diets, they were never going to work in terms of sustainable weight loss. So, you know, beyond them just, you know, physically not working for you, you probably also were recognizing it's not good for you to starve yourself, deprive yourself, be restricted, berate yourself, all the things that come with dieting as well. So, okay. So where do we go?

We take a minute. We reflect on where we're at. We're proud of where we're at, regardless of where we are at. And so we have four weeks left in the program. Well, I could go down a rabbit hole because some people have a lot of weight to lose and they're just thinking, okay, this is one program. Now I got to do another and another and another and it never ends. But same, same, but different kind of, you know? Oh yeah. And this, like, that's for me, the gift of, of being invited on, I'm a learning person,

right? Like my, my, my gifts in this world, how I'm in service is not around. I'm, I'm not a nutritionist. I'm not a personal trainer. I'm a learning person. I'm a learning trainer. And so when I hear folks struggling, like from the start, how am I going to make it 91 days or now? Oh, I've lost so much time. Oh, how am I even going to do four more weeks? Oh, I've got another two rounds of this program easily. Like all of this almost overwhelm around time. Yes. So there's a really beautiful honoring, like a kind of language around it called like time anxiety. Time anxiety is a very normal. It's a very normal. It never feels like there's enough of it. There's so much we want to do. It passes so quickly. We're comparing ourselves to others and their journey, not really

knowing their relationship with time. I mean, there's some folks who are retired in this program and can devote like really a whole day, whole months to being able to do this spectacularly, like in such involved ways. Other folks are like, well, I got two jobs and four kids and I got, okay. So time anxiety. The beauty, if we just sit with that for a moment, how do we combat that? Or what's the medicine for feeling anxious or overwhelmed about that time? how much is left, how quickly it's passing, is to focus on the outputs and not the outcome. So the outcome is, okay, I'm going to have lost two pounds. I'm going to have lost 10 pounds.

I'm going to have maintained. The outputs are what you're doing each day. So the things that I am doing this day that's what I have control over that's what I can spend my energy thinking about the outputs it's the small incremental pieces each day not focusing all the time every day well I'm never gonna fit into that dress for the family wedding I'm I'm never gonna be in the bikini in a month from now. The outputs of this day, you know, that's what I can have control over. That's where I can really make some changes.

It's a really beautiful antidote to worrying and kind of having that end deadline pressing. Well, where can I really get to in four weeks? It's like, actually, actually, you can have a lot of change in four weeks, there is a kind of like, cumulative impact here. And not just impact in the body, impact in your spirit and your mind. I'm sleeping better. I have so much more mental capacity. I'm not beating myself up for my body anymore. I am not having out of control cravings. I know when I'm full, I can feel my body. So it's a, it's a bit of a mind shift. And when I say, but it's entirely a mind shift, what are we focusing on here? Is it the outcome? I'm not sure how far that's going to

get us. I'm not sure how motivating that's going to really be for most folks. Instead, that's often a deterrent. How on earth am I going to do this for 91 days or even 31 days? Or it's not enough time to accomplish anything impactful. I don't know, man. If you had 31 days of solid sleep, if you had 31 days of really beautiful, mindful, moderate movement, if you had 31 days of like nourishing hydration, a lot can happen, a lot. Get 31 days of connecting in kind community

where you feel uplifted, where you're articulating a morning intention and then you're going back and going, hmm, I'm going to calibrate that. Did I meet my intention? How can I try to bring those closer together tomorrow? A lot can happen if we focus not on the end, but on this day unfolding here. Yeah, because we think when people come into the program the first month they're like they've they've they expect that they're going to lose all their weight in the first month because the diet industry teaches teaches them that you can lose 21 pounds in 21 days you can drop you know 20 pounds in four weeks like the diet industry normalizes losing a lot of weight quite quickly. That promise of losing a lot where, I mean,

obviously the goal here is to lose as much as like the goal here is for you to reach your goal as well. But the time you have to put into it is the time you have to put into it. And just because I've structured the program into 91 days doesn't mean that your weight loss journey fits into those 91 days. And that's why you may have to, and we'll give you options to continue on your own. This isn't about getting people to keep signing up. We give you an option where you can continue for free on your own if you want. But obviously for a lot of great reasons, like access to our amazing guests, it's, it's so beneficial and, and you know, re redoing another round of the program, obviously really effective when it comes to

helping people reach their goals what do you how do we get from that place where we are feeling the overwhelm and we are feeling like it's not enough time and so we're hearing you we're hearing you and yeah of course you're right but at the same time i have this feeling in me that is just like oh like i just but i I don't know if I could, but it's just, it's not like it's still, they still feel like it's not enough time. You know, I love when people ask me and I get this from parents all the time and students. What if I like, where did my motivation go? How can I get more of it? Where does motivation come from? Yes. And we live in a really interesting time. Like we reward a lot of stuff. Like if it

comes from the outside, we can do it. And I, I think I just want to ask, and it's not bad, like motivation comes from doing, not from waiting. Motivation is not going to come and knock on the door and announce its arrival and be like, I'm ready. Like, do you feel uplifted? I'm here. I'm here to make sure that every one of the next 31 days feels like buoyant and you can do it. No, man. Motivation comes through practice. It builds, it builds, it builds. So when I think about folks, oh, because you're starting question, right? Like what if folks haven't been, for however we want to define it, like doing very well.

What if folks haven't been following the program? And then they're coming back and they really, really want it. And they're, you know, inspired by the other community members. I think we want to ask a question like, what's worse? Continuing to be off the rails or that uncomfortable feeling that lasts for what a day or two yeah bridging back in like that friction that like oh it's so hard to course correct it doesn't last for very long and i think that i put a lot of faith and trust in 21 groups in not just tens of thousands like hundreds of thousands of humans who do this i have my i have a lot of faith in

that i trust that this body here in all of its you know unique hurts and traumas and history, is not going to be an outlier. And that the time it takes me is actually a reflection of how much harm there is around diet culture. Like it's a lot to unlearn. And so when patient with that, I inherited that like we all did. We're like bombarded. It's an onslaught of folks who call themselves experts, of folks who give us all kinds of misinformation. Do this, don't do this, eat this, don't eat this, work out this hard, work out this hard, this heart rate. It's so loud. It's so incessant. And I know that the time it

takes me is a kind of lifelong undoing and like realignment with what is real. What's real for me is I borrow from my sleep too much. I have such big hopes to be in service in this world or in learning that my, the thing that gets in my way, if I ask myself those 20 questions, is I don't really slow the crap down enough. That's it. Like, and I'm going to keep learning that over and over and over and over again. What's yours, right? What is the truth, the true kind of key or constellation of keys? What are your question out of those 20 or several questions that are actually the key to unlocking what's here for you? It's never going to just be water.

It's never going to just be water. It's never going to just be vegetables. Yes. Much more nuanced picture, like a mosaic here that the Livy method is offering that I just feel like over and over as an invitation to do heartfelt, self-compassionate, but like radically honest work about how we live our days and our lives. Yeah. I mean, if the scale isn't moving for you in the way that you thought it would, or think it would, this is where, you know, week nine of the program, you should be able to tell us what's going on with all the conversations that we've had, especially reasons why, you know, the, the scale maybe is a bit slower to move,

but how do you, and this is like, this is where people have to get really honest and real with themselves, but how maybe they're just not recognizing their needs. How do, how do people, how do people recognize specifically what their needs are? And I don't mean that, of course we have the maximizing posts, like go through, but I mean like truly in a resonating way, recognize what they need or is it holding themselves accountable? Is it being honest about it? How do we, how do we go from this? Isn't it working for me? And yeah, I've read the 20 questions. I'm doing all the things. Yeah. And going deeper with that.

Yeah. I feel like you and your team must get that a lot. I'm doing all the things. And as a person who's done this program a number of times, there's like, ooh, the provocation is there are you are you but underneath that this other kind of prompt you're asking how do we know what we need i love that you're asking me that because this is my own very personal question. I feel the older I get and the more awake I try to be in the world, recognizing needs can only come if we're willing to be still and quiet for a hot minute. Yeah. quiet for a hot minute yeah if we base our needs on others needs like oh that's what works for that

person nope i know the number of times i have done the same workout program as another person nope i've taken this person's advice about this way of eating or not in the past. Nope. All of it was a cover, right? All of it was in a way, not to be regretful, but a missed opportunity to go, that works for them. Beautiful. Awesome.

What works for me? So how do you do that? In one way, your 20 questions is a wonderful place. Like, I really don't want to overlook that. If you sat with one, not a quick scan, not, it can't take a minute. It can't take four minutes. And we revisit it over time. Like what is my relationship with movement? Is it all or nothing? Is it I push myself to the extreme and then I'm so sore I cannot for another week or two? Do I overdo it and then I'm so tired? Do I underdo it because I'm nervous? What if I

don't even know really how to start? Like movement wasn't part of my family or I grew up in a family of athletes and I wasn't an athlete. There's so much there. If you sit with that question, what is it like to be in your body and take up space and be active, whatever active means for you. And then we can go into even like more offshoot questions. When does movement feel the best? You know, I, what if you're, what if you're not so inclined to move in the morning but everyone else says you should that's what works for them okay so experiment what if i'm just gonna throw this out what if we didn't take it all quite so seriously if we didn't have the like tightest grip on the liby method or on our days. And if we go, it's the possibility for play and experimentation.

What would a new movement style look like and feel like for me that was divorced from weight loss that just felt fun? How do we know? Cause that was your question. How do we know? I don't know. Ask your body. How do you like this way do you like do you have a smile on your face like look for cues do you have a full grimace on your face are you so spent afterwards are you snarky

or are you as you're doing a movement you know burlesque yoga swimming are you actually are the corners of your mouth lifting a little bit yes well clenched or is it yielding and soft is your breath tight or is there a an exhale are you a little glowy afterwards are you standing a little taller are you a little bitowy afterwards? Are you standing a little taller? Are you a little bit nicer to people because you had some fun and play and pleasure and delight in your day? Those are good cues. And I do not want to rush through those. I don't want to overlook them. Because your question for me is one of the most important ones. How do we figure out what we need yeah it's a continuous conversation with our own selves that is undistracted and that needs to be prioritized in the sea of to-dos and tasks and obligations

to other people it's you with you for a minute and if you could really know that, like, my kid is outside right now, I'm giving a keynote talk at 12. I've got clients later. Like, I get it. I get why that's hard. I get why that's hard. And yet I'm pretty sure that that's like at the heart of things. I've been, um, been talking to the group and saying things like when you think of yourself a year from now, and if you really take time to sit with yourself and close your eyes and, you know, you start your day from jump, like getting out of bed, how are you, how a year from now, how do you want to feel? Who do you want to be?

You know, what is your life going to be like? Ideally, how would you get out of bed? Would you hit the alarm 10 times and just grumble or whatever? Are you going to get up excited for your day? You know, and you're moving around your house. Maybe you go for a walk. Maybe you go do some yoga. Maybe you do some stretching.

And then, you know, maybe you make time for a breakfast with your family and, you know, go through the whole day of like how you want to feel and how like really living your best life, the life of your dreams. And I don't mean sitting in your $10 million mansion because unless, you know, you're gonna make a lot of money in a year, obviously that's not going to happen, but really how do you want to feel? Who do you want to be? And what are the actions that are supporting that? You know, I think everyone's looking at weight loss and what they need to do to, like you said, they got the grip, tight grip on the handlebars and they're constantly seeing diet this and diet that.

And people are talking about what they're doing and this doing and all these things. It's so noisy out there, but really, or even at the end of this program, how do you want to wake up on the last day? You know, what do you want going through your mind? How do you want to feel? And what are the habits and the things that you're doing to support that? I think about this because I know where I want to go in life. I know who I want to be. I know it, I feel it, but it is a not aligned with the way that I am living my life right now. It's not aligned. The Gina that I'm aspiring to be is not the lifestyle I'm living. And I don't mean the rich and famous.

It has nothing to do with money and success. It has to do with how I feel about myself, how I'm waking up every day, the choices that I'm making, the conversations that I'm having, how I'm managing my stress, most importantly, how I'm managing my sleep, how I'm taking care of myself by going to visit my doctor and taking my supplements and all of that. But it's hard to get really real about what you need to do in order to make that kind of change. I mean, it's so close I can taste it, but so far away. And I'm never going to get there unless I'm living a lifestyle that supports it. It makes me, you know, we talk a lot about visualizing and reflecting and intentions.

And I also would be remiss if I didn't like just throw into the mix, if we could put down or quiet our fear of discipline, of the deep work that it takes to do those things, right? And that it's not the only thing. We can't grit and persevere without softness and rest. But showing up, like continuity, is part of this. It's not about pushing so hard on one day that we cannot the next. In fact, I don't think that the Livi Method is at all about pushing hard. There is, it's a request of mindfulness, of being awake. And so I just want to throw in there that when we think about how do I want to feel and we have that delicious like us in the

center of that and all of that sort of sensory description like I wanted to look like this and smell like this and feel like this and the next one is what can I do today to move myself closer? Or that's in alignment with that. It's the bridge between today and then. If it's only then, that's like we're grasping. We're grasping. Yes. And if it's only today, without any barometer,

it can be very hard to know where it is we're going. But if we can bring those a little closer, right, that outcome and today's outputs, can we bridge them? What can I do today in service, not of the number, but of how I want to feel. You know, it's funny, this like question, well, I feel great, but the scale's not moving. Like a really interesting tension there, isn't it? Because if you said, what are the things you want most in your life? And then the top five, probably one of them is to like feel healthy and well. Yeah. and how do we know that we're feeling healthy and well well skin good eyes bright rested mind is you know uh like the the full arc of experience is happening but yeah maybe we're able to have like that's in a window of of tolerance of like of

capacity to cope and we may be also getting like feedback from, wow, you know, Gina, you look great. Not Gina, you look so skinny. Gina, you look like, like bright and well, you look not tired. I was like, I really tell people when they're, when they don't look tired, like, wow, you don't look burnt out. How are you doing? Can I apprentice you? And I really want to be clear. I'm not at all basing this on other folks.

But feedback is interesting. We use our own, but we also are in relationship and community. Nobody's going to say to you, oh, you look like you're 168 pounds. Like, they don't reflect back to you a number. They reflect back to you. You're looking great. Like you look like you are inhabiting and owning your body. You know, I heard this really interesting way of like a kind of metaphor exactly, but a technique. If you were to, um, if you were gifted to take care of your most beloved, beloved friend, chosen family member, your spouse, your kid, if you were entrusted with taking care of their body for a year, how would you do it? What would you do with the body of your most important person?

And how, what would you need to do to treat yourself like that? Right. It's like, would you ever give your best friend the advice that you like punishing? How would you eat and move and rest and sleep and and forgive yourself if you were in charge of their body for a year wow i love that i love the um bridge like if you think you're here now and your goal is across the bridge and you described so many people are grasping

rather than taking a step back and being like okay let me assess where I'm at let me be really proud of where I'm at let me take stock of where I'm at and the data I've collected up to this point and then what do I really need to do and focus on to get myself across that bridge where you're right. So many people are just grasping at a desperation or what they're hearing or seeing or what they think they need or whatever. And they're kind of all over the place rather than just kindly and gently taking all the things that you need to do. And again, not perfectly and just put them under that one umbrella and just day by day, move forward and assess your needs and what you need and just keep moving forward.

And you're going to get across the bridge. It's like some people, I think this is where, if you look at that, it's just where you are now. And if you've got to get across the bridge, it's not like the bridge't, it only goes halfway. And that's what I think people are viewing the end of the program. Like the bridge only goes halfway, right? Like the bridge, the end of the, the end of the bridge of your weight loss journey is not at the end of this 91 days. It's the end of your weight loss journey, how long that's going to take you. And it's like, how many programs do you have to do to get across that bridge? Um, I love that. Okay. So. And I just want to acknowledge that part of what we've all inherited and been reared in around essentially like the art and practice of hating our bodies is like the grueling school we've all been in for decades. Yeah.

Can you forgive yourself for if it's not been a linear straight path through the living method? It's not because of the living method and it's not because of some failing in you, right? It's a very, very strong, so very potent context that we've all been in. A system of kind of separating us from our bodies that make us question like, am I hungry? Am I not hungry? Do I work out? Do I not work out? Like, it's so, it's so disruptive. It's so harmful. And so I do think that along with the other pillars that I see in this program, that unlearning, the honesty, self forgiveness has to be part of this. I mean, I'll just speak, I'll share a little bit. So some of you know, because I was scheduled to come on in January or February, and I had to reschedule one.

There's nothing I wanted to do less than that, but I had to. I got COVID for the fourth time. And then I got another infection, I got a sinus infection, and then I got pneumonia. I of sinus infection and then I got pneumonia I was sick for four or five weeks and then my husband who's high risk got COVID for the fourth time and it took him a month to recover my kids also had it at the same time of trying to very much be a good educator, an ethical entrepreneur and build a beautiful, helpful business. I had signed up for the winter program.

I had all of the motivation. I had motivation in space. I'm like, I got five or six pounds. This is my program. I'm ready. Life kicked me in the behind so badly. We were going to go to Mexico. A friend of mine owns a place in Tulum. She's so kind. She says, come. Well, who was going to fly on Lynx Air? Our family, an airline that just went bankrupt. So not poor me at all. No pity party here. Could I focus on the Livi method for the past eight weeks? Nope. Have I absolutely started

at my pace with the capacity that I have? Yes. I had to be honest. I had to be honest. Am I dissuading anyone from continuing? Nope. Does some folks reach a wall and go, huh, I've been doing all the things and it's not working? Hmm. Or is it life? Is it life in this moment that's not really working so easily and you deserve a moment to go i forgive myself this this this two-week period this illness this loss this grief this sick child this is actually what's front and center. I know some people are able to do both of those things or multiple hard things at the same time and others need to go. Something's got to give and it's going to be here when I can devote my fullest heart and honesty because I can't blame a program for not working

if I'm not actually doing the work. Can we go deeper into that because what I love about our community and this support group that we're chatting in right now, it is such a safe, supportive space for people. And some of the shares are just like, they're gut-wrenching and heart-wrenching because people have a really deep history with dieting. And it's not from lack of trying and spending time and money and energy on dying. It's not even from lack of being successful. In fact, some people have been very successful. They've lost a lot of weight, but then they've gained it all back. And the diet industry makes them feel like, well, that's your fault.

And, you know, when it's just the way those shitty diets are designed, or you've gone and lost and gained in front of your family members and you just feel like a failure and you feel and you understand the damage that you've done to your body and you, but you didn't know any better. And there's a, there's a lot of people are carrying some real deep feels trauma, I would say with their history of dieting, even if they don't feel like it's a big traumatic experience, they have feels about what they've done before and their experience with losing this weight. And I think that's why the last month of the program is like kind of brings that out of people,

you know? So can we talk about that? Because I don't know what to say to them because I know that they're just, they haven't given up on themselves. I know, my gosh, you are still here. I know that you're going to reach your goal. You just have to keep going. I know you are on the right path now with my program, but that doesn't mean that they really believe that. Yeah. And asking people to offer or devote their trust when their trust has been so deep. That's such a big deal.

And I love that about you that you're not, it's not a forceful impositional program. It's here for when people are ready. It's here. It's available for you when you're at, don't you love a program that won't kick you out? Yeah. If,

if you need a month because life actually got so big and so hard that you just needed to take a minute by and large, you know what? 70, 80% of people, they won't have that. They're going to, they're going to be able to do it or they'll be able to do this and the hard things. But sometimes,

sometimes life gets to be too much. And we've all had that. And so what do I like your question about for folks who've had just such, Ooh, such a like spirit injury along the journey. I mean, that's where, and I love how open you are around the mental health piece. If that is just being pinged over and over that unkindness that you've been met with in a family or in a, in a circle or community where you are made to feel ashamed of your body and the way you take up space in the world, if that is like a stuck place that isn't easing through new patterns of eating, of new patterns of movement and of rest if there's something that feels very agitated every time you're listening to a podcast or reading the book if you're like oh oh if you're noticing uh lashing out that's like where that kind of awakeness if you notice the kind of commentary you're bringing to the group if there's um like a rage underneath that if they're

deep wounds that's actually not for gina and your team like that's the beauty is great it came up here and the most skillful thing you can do is invite a therapeutic ally to help you tease apart and get really clear. What is the thing that is most alive? What is the need that is being kind of called out? I saw a comment much earlier when we were talking about recognizing needs. And somebody says, what if I'm afraid? Like, what if I'm really afraid to sink into the place where I can hear and feel what I need, like afraid, afraid to have a need or afraid what that you, you can't get that need met. That is work with somebody who can hold that with you, who can hold that with you. That is both, it's like the work

itself of content. What do you need? And also what is scary about that? What's scary about being a person who needs connection, needs intimacy, needs nourishment, needs a break, needs a rest, needs to not be productive all the time, needs to not be a perpetual the time needs to not be a perpetual caregiver needs fresh air needs a break needs a retreat needs a reprieve and then when you understand those like how can i lightly touch each one of those and go how can i give myself that how can i give myself permission for that? How can I ask another and seek that out? There might be for that person, no richer work on this program. And that that might be the key to unlocking the deep form of success that can come from the Libby method. We talk all the time, fear, fear of failure,

fear of success, but this word afraid, you know, I think, I think for a lot of people, they're afraid that they're never going to reach their goal. They're afraid they're never going to be able to lose this weight. Even if they lose the weight, they're afraid they're never going to be able to maintain it. They're afraid that they're never going to be able to make the change that they want to make. They're afraid that they're never going to be that person who they know deep inside they really are. That word afraid is like, I think a lot of people feel afraid for so many reasons when it comes to losing weight as opposed to fear of success or fear of failure. I don't think it carries the same weight as that word. So many people are afraid of a lot of things, afraid of the way losing weight is going to change their relationships with people. You know, oh my gosh, we could go

down a rabbit hole with that. Okay. So where do we go from here? You've given us a lot to think about. How do we, I don't know if rally is the right word. How do we make the most of the time that we have left? How do we still be here at the end? How do we follow the route and finish? Well, I don't know if it's just that, like daylight savings time. I think the first step is we all need a big cry and a big embrace and a big nap. I think that would be a great start. It's a tender day, everyone. That's all right. That happens.

That happens. Why would we pretend it'd be different? You know? Yeah. I think to kind of mobilize what we need to see through to the end, I want to honor that there's some real validity, some real value in asking the question, what's your why? I get it. I really get it. I appreciate that, you know, Simon Sinek, that like that approach to motivation, I get it. And it's beautiful. And it's succinct. What's your why? And purpose and getting clear makes all the sense.

Tina, you invite me on here and I'm a learning strategist. So my approach is alongside what's your why is what's your how? What's your how? Is your how, I am going to use the tracker for the next four weeks. That's my how, because it's the thing that actually makes me feel accountable. It gives me good feedback. It shows me trends.

And I maybe, maybe for some people, because we were talking about like, I'm doing all the things. What if you did one? What if you did two and no more? I am just going to zero in, laser focus, unafraid of discipline. I am going to move in moderate and loving and kind ways. And I am going to prioritize sleep.

What if it were those two things? I'm following the plan every day, but in the sea of possibilities, it could be I am going to narrow my options because I'm a little bit anxious. I'm a little bit overwhelmed. Great. Pair it on down. Pair it on down.

You don't have to be overwhelmed. Remember, Gina's offering you all of these possibilities not for you to do all the possibilities but for you to find your place in them for you to find what's resonant so what's your how is around how like the architecture that you are going to build for yourself to see through the next month. And so that's like the why is the big dreamy picture and the how is the bridge to get there. Right? So is it around, you know, I have never tried a morning intention and an evening reflection. I have never pushed myself out of my water comfort zone. And I'm going to try, I'm going to try one extra glass or one extra jar to see that that's going to be the thing. I am going to journal, I might hate it.

Yeah, or I might find some very interesting, useful gems of wisdom, self-wisdom in there. And so can you keep it simple and streamlined and name, not just your why, which may have shifted, but what your how is going to be. How will you get there? Do you need a buddy? Oh my gosh, everyone buddy up right now. Like when I lecture, the students will form their own WhatsApp group and they will check in on each other and they will help to motivate each other. And someone might need a reminder, hey, did you have your water? So what does accountability and partnership and community feel like here? So it's really about articulating what are the how components that are easy to implement or if you've already implemented them easy to fine-tune and strengthen not too many to keep it clear and clean and easy for you to follow, like reducing the friction, reducing the friction,

reducing the noise, reducing the number of choices, reducing them, the anxiety and overwhelm and asking yourself, do I need to bring an ally on my journey? Has this really been a waking up process? And I need some help with the kind of detangling. That's okay. How normal and how lucky and how lucky to see that now, how lucky to see that now to unearth that now. And now next step is how to do that safely with someone whose skillset is that. Yeah. What do you need? What do you need? And this is an, I just want to clarify, isn't to make a list of all your big to-do list. And if you find that there are things on your to-do list that you are not doing and you're stressing about, maybe it's not the time

to do those things. Maybe it's time to focus in on the things that you are doing and level up the way that you are doing those. Or maybe it's not into starting to run marathons every day like that. I just want to be mindful of that, of people overwhelming with their big to-do list. That's not what you're talking about. Gina, do you know what's so funny? I'm giving a keynote today at 12 noon called Not Everything, which is on the flaws of to-do lists and task lists and how on earth we prioritize and goal set. That's like literally what I'm going to do in a few hours because the to-do list is endless. And what do we do on a to-do list? I promise I'm not going to, I won't go on a whole tear here. The to-do list is never going to end. It never gives us a sense of like completion or satisfaction

because it just keeps growing, keeps growing. And we do the easiest shit on that list first. Yes. And the complex things we leave. Right. There's no proportion of time. And so instead of a to-do list, move some of those to-dos into the actual day. Make them outputs of the day.

Make them the how of this day, not all, not everything. Yes. Dreamline, just a couple. Okay. I could talk a lot about that. I love that. Well, we should have you back on and talk about that because I love the maximizing post. It's an endless list. It's a rabbit hole of things that you can do, which personally I find exciting. There are always things that you can do that will suit your needs regardless of where you are at. And maybe one program you do, it's stress you're focusing on. And the next it's sleep that you're focusing on the next one. It's movement that you're doing, or maybe the first month it was stress. The second month it was sleep and now it's movement. It's not meant to overwhelm you. It's not a to-do list of all you have to do all these things. It's like, these are the things that you can do

to be as proactive as possible. But that doesn't mean that you have to do everything all the time, every day. Um, well, I know you're, you're going to be back, um, because I'm not letting you go. You are, you're here now and you're never leaving, but I know people want to, people want to reach out to you. They want to find more about you. Of course you've written the book, feel good learning, but you also have, I think you have some courses coming up. How do people reach out to you? How do they get in contact with you? You're so wonderful. Do you see how Gina does this? Like you uplift those around you. So thank you for asking that. I love when folks follow me at Awakened Learning and there's

some really beautiful free offerings. I like just like, how can I share all kinds of learning strategies? But I also have a really low cost trio of spring learning strategy, parent circle pop-ups coming up this spring, thinking about learners who are going into final exams and final projects. And so the three of them starting in a week, actually, and it's like just small, small, small pocket of time, coping strategies for better learning math so for all the like pandemic learning gaps how can we do a little bit of numeracy and math repair and then i'll be

teaching how to listen well and take notes towards better studying so the things that you know students are facing and are having a hard time with affect parents. We're trying to learn new things and focus on the things that we're doing and just help them through. My goodness. Dr. Dina Kershaper, thank you. I'm so grateful for the time that you spend with us, just so freely sharing your knowledge with us.

Honestly, we are blessed to have you with us. Such an enlightening conversation. Yes, absolutely. Thank you so much. Thank you to everyone who is joining us live and absolutely. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you to everyone who is joining us live and watching. Thank you for all your comments. And I know we didn't get to any questions, but we kind of did because we were keeping an eye on them. I know you addressed a few of them here. Remember, you can also download and listen by way of our podcast

way machine as well. So thank you for being with us today. And Dr. Dina Kershafer, thank you so much. Thank you, Gina. Thank you to everyone. I don't take your minutes for granted and for you to spend them this way is such an honor. So thank you deeply. And to all the folks behind the scenes, there's all these people here supporting this work. And so thank you to Brennan and all the beautiful and Kim, like all these beautiful people who are just like, who want everyone to do as well as they possibly can. So thank you, Gina, for what you're offering in the world and the team that you've amassed. Well, that's a whole other rabbit hole. We could go down this, this, this sense of distrust with dieting, like we just touched on where we really want people to be

successful. So, you know, a big part of recognizing what you need as well as reaching out. So don't be afraid to reach out. We really are here for you. On that note, we do have to go. Dr. Dina Karasheva, thank you again. Thanks, everyone.