The Livy Method Podcast - Let's Talk How to Utilize the Information With Dr. Deena Kara Shaffer - Fall 2024

Episode Date: September 17, 2024

In this episode, Gina chats with best-selling author and learning expert Dr. Deena Kara Shaffer about how to put yourself first this fall.You can find the full video hosted at:https://www.facebook.com/ginalivyTopics covered:Welcome and introducing Dr. Deena Kara ShafferPrioritization: What is it? and the expectation that we should know how to do it.Why is it difficult to prioritize yourself and where to start in this program?Breaking ties with the language we use of being "overwhelmed"Having big goals: taking one step today and let that be enough.Giving yourself permission to not be sure.Nobody is going to prioritize you, except youMaking choices that move you towards feeling alive The spirit underneath the choices you makeBeing resistant and all the feels that can come upPatience: Do we learn it, get it or do we practice patience?Toxic productivity and our focus on timeAnything that is truly transformative takes time, you are worth the time it takesReturning members and bringing a beginners mind Dr. Shaffer's takeaway; give yourself permission to do one thing that makes you feel more alive. Gina's takeaway; we want you to be successful!Where can you find Dr. Shaffer and her book?awakenedlearning.ca,  IG @awakenedlearningSearch "Feel Good Learning" on Amazon and AudibleTo learn more about The Livy Method, or sign up for the Fall 2024 Program, visit www.ginalivy.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm Gina Livy and welcome to the Livy Method podcast. This is where you'll have access to all of the live streams from my 91 day weight loss program. With a combination of daily lives, guest expert interviews and member stories, there is something new almost every day. Miss the morning live? Want to re-listen to one of our amazing guest experts? Well, this is the place. This podcast is hosted on Acast, but it's available on all podcast platforms, including the one you're listening to right now, Spotify, Apple,

and Amazon Music. This is an opportunity to become curious. To learn some things. How do we help you feel less overwhelmed so you can continue on your journey? Keep believing in yourself and keep trusting the process. Just be patient. Ooh, just be patient. I want to talk to you about patience and prioritization. Dr. Dina Karashefer is joining me today. She is the author of Feel Good Learning. Your new book, actually,

or your second edition of this is on Amazon. I'm going to order that today. I'll send it to you, Gina. I'll send it to you. I'll get it. I want it now. I want it now. It looks beautiful, by the way.

So world-renowned learning strategist, you joined us a week before the program started. You joined us last week in our fabulous conversation with our guest panel, and you're back today. So people have had an opportunity to get in the group. I want to speak to new members, obviously, and even returning members who are here to level up and continue their journey. So people have had an opportunity to kind of see what it's all about. It's probably a lot more than what they expected for their $75. Might not be what they signed up for because it's a lot. I mean, we take people's weight loss

journeys seriously. We want them to be successful finally and actually forever. So there's a lot of information. There's a lot of resources. We have our Facebook support group. We have our app. We have our book available on Amazon. Hopefully our journal will also be available today on Amazon. Fingers crossed. But I think the hardest thing about, there's two things that I find difficult about weight loss. One is taking the time to prioritize yourself. And you said something in our conversation last week that was pretty profound. I throw the word out, prioritization, pretty flippantly. But what does that mean?

And then I also want to get into patience. Are we learning patience? Are we teaching ourselves patience? So which, first of all, welcome. And which P would you like to start with today? Hi. And also I live here now. So thanks. Thanks. It's really nice to see you. And also thanks. I like made it into the cut of the nice it's so fun i always like dance a little bit i'm like whoa so thanks um i love our intro hi everyone okay and i have all of no i've got my highlighter so gina let's do it which p great prioritization it's my very favorite thing to talk about okay because it torments people we all feel this heavy pressure, this like sentence, I feel like it's

internalized from grade school. Like you just got to get your priorities straight. It's from our households when we're kids, like, don't you know how to prioritize? So it is a kind of barking demand. Yeah. It comes with a kind of expectation or assumption that we should be doing it. And that underneath that we should just know how to do it. And you know, I'm a learning strategist, I'm always interested, I'm consumed by I'm passionate by the how to do the thing, how to learn the thing. So I love that you're I I love that you're bringing us back there and that we can swim here a little bit prioritization. So what does prioritization mean? It really means I have some shit to do and I need to figure out what rises to the top. Like what can I sift up?

And then how do I rank and order those? And we say it in a way flippantly, we say it quickly, right? It's like a word we bantered around, but it's very difficult because of where those priorities emerge, because they're left undefined and because they're often in tension with each other. So how is that possible? Well, I get priorities from my workplace. I get priorities from my family or my community. I have health priorities. I have priorities that they seem like they're priorities because they're like in my feed. They're in my friend group.

They're like things that are in the zeitgeist that are happening. Like, oh, I should be doing all of this stuff. And then maybe somewhere there's a space for us to kind of derive our own priorities, our own what's important. So I really wish that we all were able to have more conversations about not just like, what are your priorities? How do I prioritize? But why it's difficult, why it's fundamentally challenging, right? Priorities are what's important. And I always say the hardest part of this program for a lot of people is prioritizing themselves when they prioritize everything and everyone else above their own needs. But that's sort of where it stopped for me because I, because you can feel selfish in doing that a lot of people

feel at least I do that if I spend too much time on myself it's selfish it's selfish so I realize I've been using it very flippantly as well so so where do we start with that and and in relative relative to the program yeah for sure so yeah so maybe an image can help like the in the same spirit that you're like well we can learn by an um we can engage with your program by way of an app we can do it by the book upcoming journal that's so exciting we can come onto facebook live so maybe metaphors and images can help sometimes. So sometimes the thinking is like, okay, I'm, I have a, you know, I'm a cup, I'm a teacup and I'm going to keep giving and giving and giving until I'm empty. And then I'll talk back up. Well, the other way to think about it is like, I am going to be so topped up, so inner resourced. And when there's enough that it's overflowing, that's when

I can give to others. So there's a little bit of a flip in terms of restoration. So where does it come into play in this program? Well, we can think about doing weight loss by gene or the living method, either in terms of a block each day, if there's a really clear time that you can make for yourself, like in between these two activities or this time of day, or after this, before this, is there a block or is there kind of a broken up sprinkle where like I can fit in a little bit of time here and there. So I think the starting place is time. It's around containing or bordering little pockets or a little bit of like one longer pocket. That's a very reasonable starting place. So we have a metaphor of it's really worth it to have enough inner resource

so that I actually have enough to give to others. And I'm going to set a little like dotted line around some time in my day and week. That would be a really helpful starting place instead of starting with the like, here's my list of priorities and I'm gonna just like shove them into my day. I'm gonna write to-do list a mile long. But then that just weighs heavily on our shoulders

and our minds and our spirits. Like that list is never actually gonna get done. So let's get really clear about what's available energetically and what's available in terms of the reality of the time of your day. You just got me thinking, um, a few weeks ago, someone came on a public post and commented about the living method and said like, it's a lot. And sure, it works if you have like, you don't have a life and it's the only thing, you know, you focus on. And I was like, I sat back and thought, well, it is a lot because people in my experience have a lot of questions. And really it comes down to the basic guidelines each week. And the things that you are doing is just eating healthy food, drinking water to be hydrated, managing your stress and your sleep and moving your body. But I can also see why someone would find that overwhelming. What would you say to our

members who are feeling overwhelmed? Like this is a lot. is it that there's a lot to do or the goal is overwhelming? Oh gosh, there's so much, I mean, overwhelmed. So let's have a whole conversation that's 14 hours long about overwhelm. And I really want to respond to the other person. So like this idea of it's only possible if you are in a kind of fortunate place of like being retired and having wide open schedule. Well, first, even somebody who's retired has many, many responsibilities. So I want to be really, I want to be really careful about how we like, I don't know,

like typify people and who gets to do what and who's allowed to do what. So really the starting place is self-permission. Like do you give yourself permission to take care of yourself? Do you give yourself permission to like not background yourself, but foreground yourself? And I think actually what you're trying to do

is actually have this be a person's life. This isn't a part. It actually is integrated in the life journey. We all want to mend our relationship with food, our relationship with our bodies, our relationship with movement. So it's not just like these isolated activities that are meant to be like slotted in all day. We might have to begin with, you know, when we're habit making and unlearning, I know we'll get to habits, but like there is a certain amount of intentionality when we get started. But in time, I think you're really asking

people to kind of automate and integrate. This becomes a healthful rhythm of our day that underlies, that's the architecture of our day. And the allotness or the overwhelmingness of your program is actually just access waypoints. You're not asking everyone to do everything. You're asking everyone to choose a little bit of the full offerings. So I see it differently than that comment. And if we're going to talk overwhelm, well, there's so much to say about overwhelm, but the starting place with overwhelm is understanding that what we say to ourselves about overwhelm matters. So if we're going to say to ourselves over and over, and I don't teach this because I'm some holier than thou, I've got it figured out. That's not why I'm here. I'm here because I'm in it with

you. I'm drawn to this material because I have the same wrestlings so I just want to get clear and honest about that so alongside you instead of the language of I'm so overwhelmed that actually just reinforces a cycle of I'm not safe I don't have enough inner resourced uh inner resourceness to do this this is beyond my capacity I'll never be able to do it so the first the first step is is kind of breaking ties from repetitive language that actually just kind of like inflames and aggravates our system to think that like we're under threat and we cannot manage so we need to get a little it's like that mindfulness you're always asking us to take so in the same spirit of when I'm you know taking when I'm taking food onto my plate and I'm really thinking oh like what's my body drawn to and how much feels right I might be wrong but I'm gonna try

and guess and like oh how am I feeling before I eat how am I feeling during how am I feeling after like this really thoughtful mindful approach we, we're going to bring to this overwhelmed piece. So what am I even, what's my position, my relationship with the language of overwhelm? I'm going to create a mindful space. Wait a minute. Deep breath, full capacity back online. I am safe. There are tools I can turn to. I'm not going to deny that this is difficult, but I'm just going to like simplify ground until I'm back online, until I'm back in my full faculties, my full resourceness. Then I can begin to see things differently and make different choices. What tool am I going to turn to right now? Oh, a walk would really help. A call to a beloved friend would really help. Listening to Jean on podcasts would really help. Ah, this, the overwhelmed, I'm so overwhelmed.

I was, I was really reinforcing a kind of way of thinking and feeling isn't actually serving me very well. And I think you have to be conscious and intentional about this because what doesn't help with overwhelm, like you said, is like, oh my God, I'm never going to get this done. And I got to do this and got to do that. Like, so right now I am trying to have the number one weight loss company in the world. And there's a lot of things that I need to do in order to accomplish that. And sometimes I just feel so weighed down and I just, my head is like spinning. And it's always when I just take a step back and I like calm my ass down. And I'm just like, okay, Gina, let's take some deep breaths and let's just break it down. Where are you at right now? What can you do today? But you have to be intentional.

I think it's the word intentional and open to that process because it's a lot easier said than done to catch yourself in that overwhelm moment and calm your ass down. That's it. That's it. And to your point, when we have the big dreamy goal, and it could be entrepreneurial, it could be weight loss, it could be like invigorated, reinvigorated health, it could be family, like whatever the whatever the big juicy dreamy goals are. we can kind of layer onto that overwhelm when we're trying to get there immediately and do all of the things or imagining all the things or taking on all the things all at once. But in fact, that's never how it happens. Becoming the number one weight loss company in the world doesn't happen from today to tomorrow. It happens like, look what you've built over 10 plus, 20 plus years. It happens because of the three things that you inch forward today. And literally it's inching forward. And some of those inching forward have two steps back, just like our journeys here, just like our other goals. It's nonlinear. It's not immediate. And so if we can remind ourselves that it's like one skillful action, one skillful step today, not 15, not all the things, one thing, three things, and let that be enough. Let that be enough.

Let that be enough. I love that because time goes by quickly. And with weight loss, that's how it is. It's not any one thing that you're doing. It's all the little things that you're doing day in, day out. The goal is to make as many choices each day that fall in line with your goals. Some days you're going to feel like a rock star and other days you're going to be having chips and wine for breakfast. I know this is a perfect segue to go into patience, but I'm going to wait on that because there's two things that you said. And one is this concept of permission. And I've met a lot of members. And when I meet members out there, they're just so excited. And the last thing we talk about is their weight. It's not like they come up and, hey, I've lost

this. And hey, I lost this. They say, Hey, I feel like this. Hey, I'm doing this. And I kind of internalize it as they've been given permission to focus on themselves. And I think also tied into that, that is, is you said something earlier, you should know how you feel like you should know how. And I feel like for a lot of us who've been dieting for a really long time, we feel like we should know how. So I don't know to others and on top of that there's shame like we should just know how to do xyz we should know how to eat well we should know how to stop when we're full we should know how to do the right exercise in the right amount but not when there's been such a heavy and persistent amount of harm in really, really toxic diet culture. No, that's been fundamentally tinkered with. You should know how to trust your body. No, not when there's been trauma involved.

Like, no, let's take all those shoulds out. Like the word should or ought just add a level of kind of punishingness. So I think it's really beautiful, the link you're making with permission. How about permission to not be sure the permission to be like, I don't a hundred percent know what's going to happen in this program, but I'm going to give my kind of heartfelt openness each day. I'm not really sure what my goal is. I hear all these people have these very clear goals and I kind of have five, but I'm not really sure. It's okay. I'm not really

sure how my body likes to move. Okay. I'm not sure how my body responds to food. I think that's why you're here. I think that's why you're here. So if this were just a diet, I wouldn't be participating. Like I really, I'm not interested in making humans, particularly women or people who identify as women feel bad. I'm really not interested as a human who's been like on the receiving end of that. No thanks. But that, a kind of body recalibration happens as a byproduct of like repair and sleep and a focus on stress and on the permission to foreground ourselves because the truth is nobody is going to prioritize for you and nobody is going to prioritize you except you. So here it is full permission, even if it's like microscopic to begin to play around with what that means.

And if the word prioritization feels laden or still like, uh, punishing or full of shame, then great. It's practicing you as one of the what's importance as the, alongside the many what's importance that you're holding that, that to me. Okay. There's like a humaneness and a kindness and a gentleness. So I love this permission, permission, as, as part of all of this, there's space for you in your own life. Yeah. There was, um, there was a moment in my life where I must've been mid thirties. Um, I had four kids and they were starting to get a little bit older where they were in school,

daycare, whatever. And I really felt really lost. I felt disconnected. I realize now I probably had some depression going on. And I was on YouTube one day and I came across someone doing this kiteboarding. It's where you get kind of like a surfboard and a big kite in the air. And something about me was like, you need to do this. And so I randomly that day found a kiteboarding instructor and went and met them. And next thing you know, I'm at the beach with a big kite and I'm doing this thing. And it just gave me life because it was about me and my time. And I remember no disrespect to my ex-husband who's no longer with us, but I would go and he would say to kids, well, mommy's going to be gone all day long. Cause she's kiteboarding today, or, you know, that you're going to be gone all day. And I'm like, you golf, you play basketball with your friends, you go play tennis, you ride your bike, you do all of these things all the time.

And I have nothing. Like it still hurts my soul. I have nothing. I just, I work and I raise children. And this is something that is giving me life. But there was so much, listen to my feels about this. There was so much shame in that, in taking the time for myself. Something that was like, and it wasn't about kiteboarding. Now I realize it wasn't about that.

It was about me just prioritizing myself. And there was so much shame and so much guilt in there. But that was a really defining moment where I had to say, you know what? This is important to me and I'm going to do this. And it was a game changer. I think it was a big pivotal moment in my life where I'm just like, whoa, okay. You know, I need to do something for myself. Not easy, not easy, but it was really important. And so I really just want to share that because I identify with that feeling, you know, and it was about I didn't need anyone's permission, but I needed to give the permission to myself, even though other people were saying, well, you just leave your kids all day. Like, how can you? That's an extreme, extreme sport.

Like, you can't do that. Right. So I just want to say it's not an easy thing. Oh, there's so much I want to say about that. Also, I'm so I know I'm focusing on the wrong thing. But like, you were already such a cool, badass human. And now we all just found out that you kiteboard like is I know that that's not the point. That's not the takeaway. But also, yeah, so I love that. And I love that it wasn't an easy story. I love that it wasn't just like, and we had a conversation and it all worked out great. Nope.

What I particularly appreciate is that you made a choice in like moving towards aliveness. You moved towards what made you feel alive. Yeah. made you feel alive yeah and so I can imagine that like one I I hope that one helpful ripple effect that is like medicine toward like in in response to some of that judgment is like yeah but look how alive mom is do you hear like there's all resentment is gone. The exhaustion is gone. Yeah. Makes me feel alive. And so it makes then me want to say to all the members, like the wonderful community here is how can you move towards choices of aliveness that certainly don't have to be kiteboarding, but what in all of it. So when we're talking about overwhelm and like, oh my gosh, there's so many things to choose from.

Well, here's another tool we're just making up. We're like co-creating it in the moment together, Gina, is what of all in front of you that's being presented nourishes, fuels that sense of aliveness. Aliveness. That's my new favorite word. That's how, right? Like that's like taking the time to eat that healthy nutrient rich food that makes you feel good. Taking time to drink that water that makes you feel good. Prioritizing your sleep that makes you feel like a rock star when you wake up the next day, you know, managing your stress, moving your body, not begrudgingly, but because you can move your body, you know, putting this kind of time and energy into this, because you're going to feel so much better when you feel comfortable in your skin, you know, like that, that aliveness. Oh, yeah, it makes me it's funny having been in your

program in a kind of like very, very human working mother kind of way. Like there are times where I've been all the way focused or times where I've like, I'm just doing the best I can. Health comes along, you know, I've, it's been a really beautiful journey. And then now to be a participant and engage in this way that it makes me understand more and more. This is big for me as a human who has really had to face and it's thanks to this program. Oh, a long history of disordered eating. Oh, like really, really intense and punishing relationship with movement. A lot there. That's the point. That's why we do it. We really like unearth underneath all those rocks. Oh God,

that's what's lurking. Well, it turns out. Yes. So what, what amazes me is it's so how I interpret it. It's not actually about any particular food item, but it's the spirit underneath the food that is made, the food that we prepare and the way that we're eating. It's the spirit underneath it. And it's not about a particular movement. Like, well, you have to do cardio three times a week. You have to do 10 minutes of strength training four times a week, like whatever. It's the spirit underneath how you move your body, how you inhabit your body when you're moving, how you feel, what, what does it look like on your face when you're moving?

Is your jaw clenched? Are there all the lines here? Not because of age, but because of tension. If that's, if that's what it looks like when you're moving, let's pick a different movement modality. You know, like what does it look like on your face when you're eating? What does it feel like in your body when you're eating? Well, then we know we're into something good when we're tapping into the spirit underneath. Oh, there's like an ease

that's I think for me that would be the successful goal it's not about a number god help us it's not about a number it's not the spirit underneath is so huge because I love your perspective of as a learning strategy is this the same with all learning where it's like the learning I'm reading my book I'm underlining I'm making notes but it's like everything it's the spirit underneath is that the same where there's there's a lot there's baggage there's worthiness there's feelings there's beliefs there's habits there's issues there's association all tied into the the what to eat and so like that's man that's a lot you know that's it it's exactly the same as learners it's exactly the same thing so like you could be underlining because you are so terrified about a

test I'm so worried I'm gonna forget I've got the layers of like I've just been diagnosed with ADHD how can I understand what my gifts are I'm bored bored. I don't know how to engage. I'm never going to remember. I blank out onto all that stuff. Yeah. Oh, wait, but I'm actually bringing a spirit of week, in one class, in one course. It's a different kind of energy. Like that's why they're holistic learning strategies. I think it's why I'm here. It's certainly not because I have any particular insight about nutrition. I'm interested in health, like everyone here. I'm interested in like in aliveness.

That's why I'm here but it's the thing underneath i think for some people there can be a block where especially with their history of dieting like no it's just they've been taught calories in calories out weight loss is math and then they have all this spirit underneath that they have to deal with do you think there can be a block there for people where they're just, they get so fixated on, but I'm eating everything and I'm doing everything, but I'm like, are you managing your stress or your sleep? And I know we're going to get into that conversation

in the next couple of weeks. Do you think there can be a block there or resistance? Totally. And then it's like, who's that chick on Gina? Like, what's she about? What about Dina? Like all this aliveness stuff. Oh God. Yeah. No, I know. I know. check on Gina like what's she about what's a Dina like all this aliveness stuff oh god yeah no I

know I know that's when I'm like Dr. Dina Kershafer just gonna lean into that for a moment uh yeah um I get it I get it who wouldn't be resistant when nothing is working like what a normal adaptive thing to be like well that's not going to work either I'm going to be gentle with that ever work I need to be more militant I need to restrict more i need to move more like all i would say as a person who's literally done that for i can't do the math but like 25 years whatever yeah yeah there's five eights in my life um if it had worked you wouldn't be here. If any of that had felt good, you would have kept going with it. And if this didn't work, there wouldn't be so much profound research. And if this didn't feel good,

there wouldn't be hundreds of thousands of people doing it and like coming back because they're getting something out of it. Coming back as they love the sense of community coming back as more insights are there to glean. So I get the resistance, but remember that the resistance is part of it. So we begin to get angry when we oh god when people start going when they lash out at the person who's uh in a position of like doing an offering or in service or teaching so when people are like gina this is so frustrating 40 pounds have gone and it's day two of the program it's never gonna going to work. And be like, Gina on it.

Like it just has nothing to do with Gina. Like whatever those feelings are. Cause nothing to do with Gina. And the, and the moment you catch that, you're like, wow. Look how angry I am.

Look at all this stuff. I just lobbed onto all the lovely humans, 50 humans who work behind the scenes for you. Oh, I remember. I remember clear as day. I was teaching grade 10. And man, a student hated me.

Hated me. Hated how I taught everything. And then sure enough, two years later, when she graduated, she was walking across the day. She came and hugged me. And she said, it's because of you I'm here. And the truth is, neither of those are true. I wasn't really all that hateable.

I was just trying to teach great English. Just trying to teach a little, just trying to teach a little George Orwell. I didn't like it either, but I had to teach it. And her graduation had nothing to do with me. So it's like, it's really such an opportunity over and over to be like oh this is entirely a process of self-inquiry this is entirely about self-knowledge and self-discovery and when we can stop like right it's never. I'm never going to have enough time. It's only for other people. Gina, all your experts. Who's that girl with the stupid hair and the zebra print and the

talking about aliveness? God. Yeah. None of those things. None of those things. All of that. We're just like, but then we go, wait, I'm noticing what I'm doing. I still really want something. I'm here because I want something. So that's cool when it happens. When I first started these programs, and I love our community, it's like this really safe space to show up in your journey, a safe space for me to show up every day in my life, which can make me feel very vulnerable sometimes, my team and whatnot. And when I first started, I would get people who would just be angry and just rude and just straight up assholes. And I didn't have tolerance for it. I would just kick them out. But you know what was really interesting? And I would give them their money back. I'd be like, sorry, this program is not for you. You're clearly not happy. Here's your money. Please go

somewhere else and find something better. And what would always happen is that they would then hit me up with a two page email about, please, please, please let me back in the group. And this is the best thing I've ever done. And it's the only thing that's working for me. And I would be like, if you love it so much and it's working for you, why are you such a jerk? Like, why are you showing up for that? And what I realized is it's not about me. It's about how they felt about themselves. And I've learned a lot of patience since, you know, when people are coming at and they're angry or they're upset, there's a lot of feelings involved in this journey for them. It can be scary for a lot of people. And that's their reaction. So I've learned to be a lot more tolerant when people are showing up. I also see what I call planting seeds of doubt. Like I can tell who's going to quit in the first couple weeks.

Not because they're not losing or the scale, whatever. It's because they'll say, well, this is, you know, I can't do this. Or there's too much information. Or you swear too much. Or you, you know, I, I can't do this. And I'm just like, why don't you ask a question? If you just knew the team of people behind, behind you who want to support you, like help us help you. But a lot of times people have a hard time with that. So it's something I've experienced. And that's why I so madly respect

that all the fields for anyone listening and joining us right now, all the fields that you have and will have in this program, in this process are valid and they are perfect because it is insight into how you are feeling, where you are at, and more importantly, what you need to address and work through. They're welcome. All humans are welcome here. Yeah. And that when the anger comes or the frustration or the or the doubt or the like this is impossible or the outrage directed outwardly all of that it's like when we get pinged in a place that's been hurt yeah we've been pinged there we've been hurt there because it hasn't worked before or else why would we be here right so i love that there's a tenderness

about this it's not linear it has nothing to do with food it's such a rich program you don't do it all in one go you don't do all of the different kind of ways of engaging. And something really beautiful is going to transpire. Something transformative will transpire because of the way that you're engaging with it. Yeah. I mean, don't get me wrong. There are people that sign up. They follow the guidelines.

All the rules. Easy peasy done. But for the majority of people, you know, they got to get into the layers underneath. Okay, for the sake of time, I do want to get into this concept of patience, because I have people there's Oh my god, it's also multi layered, because I have people saying, Well, I haven't lost any weight. Yet. I'm following the program, what am I doing wrong? So that internalization, just because the scale isn't moving, you're doing something wrong because the reality is, is that you still might not lose for weeks yet. And that's so normal. How quickly you lose in the beginning, how much zero indication of how successful you

will be with the living method. It's how everything that you're doing adds up. It gets easier in the end as opposed to harder. I mean, you can have to go a little deeper as you go, the more in tune and the more self-aware you are as you go in the program. So I don't want to just flippantly say it gets easier, but your body is more on your side. You're understanding what your body needs. But this patience is very difficult when we feel like I've been trying to do this for 20 years. I just want to lose this weight already. Patience is hard.

Do you learn patience or do you teach yourself patience? How do we get patience? I love that question. It's interesting about a focus on verb. Like, does it matter? Do we learn? Do we get? I mean, the verb that rings truest for me as we practice patience it's really okay if like constitutionally you're at a point where

you like the word patience isn't the first thing that um um like your your strongest characteristic if you think about all the things that chip away at our patients, right. We're in traffic. We're, oh my God. Like the, the number of times we're stuck waiting, waiting, waiting. And then the flip of that is how many things are immediate. So there's like a kind of reinforcement that everything should be immediate. So then when we're stuck, we're like, but there's all these other things like i could just go into amazon prime

and then like the next day something arrives okay so if we step back like really everything here is about a like just deep breath feel your breath in your belly feel your feet on the ground and like what's the layer underneath or the, the one, you know, arm's length from that. Boy, we're very anxious about time. Very anxious about time. We're anxious that there's not enough. We're anxious that it's running out, but in the same way, I'm just gonna, I don't mean to get too political here, but like in the same way that we've internalized this, like, what am I doing wrong? Why doesn't my body look like this? What is the problem with my body? Like as if our bodies are problems to solve somehow that, um, that like, there's never enough time. Um, that's just's just an inherited construct too, right? Like that's that

heavy, heavy, toxic productivity, always have to be working, always have to be doing, rest is a waste of time, we have to be efficient, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, produce, produce, produce, consume, consume, consume. Like there is a kind of rhythm that is really imposed on everyone. It's very hard to break free from that. So I definitely don't mean to get into some like existential or political realm here, but there is a humming rhythm underneath that if we can just catch and go, wait a minute, it's absolutely productive if I rest. And why do we care so much about this word productive? It's really okay if it takes a little longer while I'm waiting at no frills because the person at the front is having like a two second interaction with the lovely clerk person at the front.

Like, what are we talking about here? So our nervous systems are kind of like inflamed and activated all the time. Yeah. Our threshold, like the threshold of stress is very close so it doesn't take much to to tip over that so again it i i really i get it um it feels very difficult to push back when there's like a whole rhythm of things happening around you that feels very fast and very overwhelming there's that word again but the truth is there is time anything anything that's worth doing is worth doing in that thoughtful slow paced and well way. Otherwise, the change that you're looking for is going to be fleeting. Great, what if we hit our lowest low? And then what happens the day after that? Anything that's truly transformative takes time. It's all those seeds you're planting because you don't actually

want to be your lowest low and not sleep through the night you don't want to be your lowest low and have run your body into the ground so like it didn't take us overnight to get here. And this is a project of deep repair. And you are worth the time. You are worth the time it takes. Well, let's also talk about how's that quick fix working for you 20 years later when you're still trying to lose your weight quick fixes are not the way to go um i love what you just said it is our time is up oh my gosh okay see one more thing just one thing oh my god sorry this is like your whole show i i'm just here a psycho but i imagine that some impatience might also come from returning members.

So just a word to returning members, because I so deeply respect your project and journey, please. Sometimes the impatience can be like, but I know this already. Let's move this along. Like, I already know, I already know, I already know, I already know. The most powerful thing I think that you can bring to, I know it all, I know it all, I know it all is beginner's mind is can you approach each page in Gina's book, each question, each invitation, each guest with a beginner's mind, what one thing have I not heard before? Or same thing, but phrased differently. Beginner's mind is also a very helpful antidote to impatience when that's kind of born out of boredom. Like I already know this. I'm also speaking to the people who might be coming with some attention challenges. So if ADHD is

alive for you and you're like, I want to do that. Got it. Yeah. So what is the thing that makes you feel most alive? What is the thing that feels most interesting? What is the thing that is most doable? And this beginner's mind like, oh, oh, I've never heard it put together like that. Oh, cool. I've never tried it in that way. So it's almost like, um, it's almost like seeking novelty in the, I've already been through this before, but novelty through I'm listening with different ears. I'm listening from a different heart space. Okay.

Thank you. Sorry. Oh my God. I love that. Christy is saying here, even returning members can continue to learn something new and grow in this process. Listen, I have been doing this for 30 years. It never gets old.

Program over program. I'm not like, oh, same shit over and over again. Nah, man. I get excited about it each and every time because there's so much to learn. It's kind of, I always say it's like this Shrek movie. I don't know if you watch those with my kids, whatever Shrek, I must've seen it. I don't even know two, 300 times. Cause my kids would just watch. And every time I watched it, there was something new. And I think the living method is the same because you are changing. The information you're receiving might be the same, but you are changing. So it resonates so differently.

Oh, gosh, I love you. I love this conversation. Final takeaway for our members as they're about to really get into this this whole process we're really just starting so uh i know you're gonna be back you're gonna be back we've already established that we're gonna continue the conversation but uh final words of wisdom that's impossible you can't ask a wordy girl to be like, here's some final words. You got off an hour. All right. So final words. Can you today give yourself permission to do one thing in the fullness of what you're being offered from this method and this kind of way, this journey,

one thing that makes you feel more alive. Drop the mic. I love it. Brilliant. Thank you. Did I not tell y'all that this was going to be a conversation that you didn't know you needed and that setting yourself up for success was not it? That was not the tagline. I don't even know what I would use to describe this conversation, but I'm so grateful for it. I'm grateful for you taking your time and sharing your knowledge and having so much passion, not just for the program, but for our members. And I hope the takeaway for everyone watching and listening today is that we want you to be successful.

We want you to be successful. We are constantly thinking about what is the information that you need? How can we help? How can we serve? And that is our mission here because we truly believe, yes, in the Libby Method, but your ability to reach your goals.

And so anything that we can do to help you with that, we're all about that. Dr. Dina Karas-Shafer, I know your new book, your new edition, I know you have a new new book coming out, is available on Amazon. This is also available in an audio version as well. You can search Feel Good Learning on Amazon and audible. They can follow you over on Instagram at awakened learning. Oh, yeah, there it is awakened learning your website. What else do we need to know about you? You're so lovely. You're so lovely. Yeah, new website. So website is better. It's clearer. So students, if they're looking for help parents, if they're like, oh, God, I keep telling my kid, well, when I used to, you know, ace test this work for me, if that's not working, great. That's not working very well. You can find support. And also, I give lots of talks and trainings at organizations so some things that people if they want to keep

doing this i've got a free group learning strategy session tonight at 7 p.m eastern time if people want to sign up they can come and hang out half an hour it's like 30 minute meals um nutrient dense meals but of learning strategies so it's going to be like oh is it hard for your kids to start doing their homework are they resistant oh we Oh, we can, we can do better. And the next week also free time together, 7pm on preventing procrastination. So if doing stuff is hard for the learners in your house, that's, that's what my life is devoted to making more ease around. Amazing. So awakenlearning.ca. Also, you have a really cool newsletter that you send out as well that people can sign up for uh awakenedlearning.ca slash newsletter if you're interested in signing

you're the best okay we are we will see you again dr dina karashe for everyone thank you so much thanks for everyone for joining us thanks for everyone uh for Remember, you can download and listen to this as a podcast after the fact as well. Have a great day, everyone. Thanks.