The Livy Method Podcast - Let's Talk Learning to Make Change with Dr. Deena Kara Shaffer - Fall 2024

Episode Date: October 8, 2024

Gina chats with best-selling author and learning expert Dr. Deena Kara Shaffer about shifting your habits, prioritizing yourself, and learning to make change.You can find the full video hosted at:https://www.facebook.com/groups/livymethodfall2024Topics covered:Introducing Dr. Deena Kara Shaffer: "I believe in the change that I've already been doing."Resistance to making change: Noting the habits, the hurts, and the home context.Apprehension, hypervigilance, what-ifs, worries, and the desire to control the world around us.Noticing our control strategies and the invitation for relief.The things that throw us off over a 91-day program and approaches that can help.Learning. Unlearning. Learning... and showing up long enough to see results.Overwhelmed? Just pick one activity or area to work on at a time.Prioritizing our well-being: Why is this so difficult?Fluid approaches without the stress and control.What is the biggest impact you can have with the least effort?Motivation is a skill you can practice - especially when you don't want to! Follow the plan, not your mood!How to hold the tough situations in your life and the world with gentleness.Honour what you are inclined to do as you move towards your goals.Ways to connect with Dr. Deena Kara Shaffer: Web: awakenedlearning.ca where you can sign up for her newsletter @awakenedlearningTo learn more about the Livy Method, visit www.ginalivy.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm Gina Livy and welcome to the Livy Method podcast. This is where you'll have access to all of the live streams from my 91 day weight loss program. With a combination of daily lives, guest expert interviews and member stories, there is something new almost every day. Miss the morning live? Want to re-listen to one of our amazing guest experts? Well, this is the place. This podcast is hosted on Acast, but it's available on all podcast platforms, including the one you're listening to right now, Spotify, Apple,

and Amazon Music. This is an opportunity to become curious. And then some things, how do we help you feel less overwhelmed so you can continue on your journey? Keep believing in yourself and keep trusting the process. Just be patient. Strategies for making the change that you need to make in order to reach your goals. Of course, we're talking weight loss because that's our jam around here and that's our main focus. But at the end of the day, change is hard. Why is it so hard? We want to make change.

Why is it so hard to make change? That is the conversation today with the perfect guest, Dr. Dina Karaschafer in the house. She is a learning strategist extraordinaire. She is also the author of Feel Good Learning available on amazon.com. Hello. Hi. We need you so desperately this week. I'm so happy to be here. It's like chosen family. Hi, everyone. It's the best. It's the best. I was telling the kindest humans backstage. They're like, how are you? I'm like, well, I'm going to lie down on the floor after the show because it's been a tough morning with my kids and it's a real uplift to be here. So like, how am I? I'm going to lie down on the floor after the show because it's been a tough morning with my kids and it's a real uplift to be here. So like, how am I?

I'm great. I'm great. Talk about. Sorry, talk about a lot of change. I know you just recently made a career change of sorts or the same but different. That must have been a big move for you. You're amazing. Oh, my gosh.

Like a totally different. Let's are we. It's like the entrepreneurial hour. I love it. Oh my gosh. Like a totally different pot. Let's are we, it's like the entrepreneurial hour. Um, I love it. I love it. Uh, CEO time. Uh, yes, I have taken the leap from working in higher ed full-time where I've been for almost 15, well, 15 years and I am fully doing awake and learning.

So, um, it's been a really beautiful thing to, I don't know, take the leap. Is that the right language? Like to believe in the change, to believe in the change that I've already been doing. Pretty exciting time around here. Okay, that's a great segue. To believe in the change that I've already been doing. So here people are, it's week four of the program. Five weeks, really, if they've been at it, if they've started with prep week with us,

that's a lot of time to be showing up and doing the things that you need to do. And what I love about this week, so we're introducing downsizing this week. This is the one week that's most like a diet. This is where we're actually manipulating portions, for lack of a better word. And I love that people are resistant to this, which means that they truly understand the benefit of being in tune to their body and giving their body what it needs. And I love that we take people who literally are used to starving and depriving themselves. Now they're starting with the food plan with eating five, six times a day, nutrient rich foods, eating dissatisfaction. I kind of love

that they're resistant to the changes that they need to make moving forward. However, it is all about getting even more in tune to your body's needs. What you eat and when is going to change and evolve as we go. We know this, but why are we so resistant to making the change? Okay. So one is around the confrontation to the habits we already have. And in a way, you have set people up for the past, really since the beginning, to be in a kind of groove. And that groove was already counter to perhaps where folks' habits were coming in. And so people were like, oh, great. Like I'm getting it. I'm feeling it. I'm in a vibe. And now you're asking people to shift again. So I definitely want to honor that the habits piece is real because you're, you're challenging folks to shake up and reestablish habits. Shake up and reestablish.

And so habits are key. I would also say that this is a provocative week. You are not asking people to start. You never ask people to truly, like, there's no elimination. There's no, like, I don't know, like, there's no starving on this. Yes. But it is provocative. Yes.

Two bites less. Like, what's that like? What's that like? It brings up a lot of feels. It brings up a lot of feels. There's a lot of hurt that people have to confront. So there's habits. There's hurt.

Like, what are you afraid afraid of what does this remind you of that's not actually happening now but reminds you of the hurt that you've experienced all the way until now with previous diets with things people have said with the things you've tried with the things that haven't worked with the things you've said to yourself so habits hurt and then i would say like so you're asking why is it hard why is making change hard and I would say home and home in the biggest contextual sense it's hard because we're in context we have work patterns and family patterns and cooking for others and so now we have to do something maybe a little different different to to what our, you know, household community is doing. So I think if we, if we enter, why is change hard from those places,

that might be a good starting place, the habits, the hurts and the home context. I love that. I had a conversation with Kim yesterday. Kim, as you know, is the manager of the weight loss program. And we, every Wednesday, so tomorrow at 12 PM, we have a conversation called the tweak this week, where we talk about more of the rhyme and the reason behind the tweak. We get into it. We answer frequently asked questions. And I said to her, where are people at this week? Like, how are people finding it? She says, you know, it's really interesting because we're getting questions that we never really got before. Like people are really thinking about the tweak that they're making, but almost like before people would just do the tweak and then they'd be like,

oh, okay, I get it. I understand. And we used to have this saying, but like, did you die? Because at the end of the week, people are going to realize, oh, like that was really not a big deal. And people are always like, should I go back and do that again? Because now that I've made it through the week, I know I could like I could do it better. And she's like, it's really interesting because they just get into the tweak. So like, it's hard to explain what it's going to feel like without doing it. And yet a lot of people really apprehensive about doing it. And so how do we, how do we put that together? How do we be apprehensive but still do what we need to do? Oh, man, that question really tugs or like pings at my experience as an educator. I encounter so many humans and I'm not different than this.

I don't know if it's the pandemic, if it's world events, but like the threshold or the closeness to stress feels real close and what do we do in times of stress we get hyper vigilant like what if this and what if this and what if this and what if this i'm not actually surprised as a kind of like impact or imprint or residue of just how stressful everything has been for everyone. And what I would just say is that I don't know that bringing more control into this is the thing that's going to be helpful. So when I hear around apprehension, or the language of this like scanning scanning scanning what if this what if this pre-planning for all the things that could go wrong but what if I feel this what if this is uncomfortable what if this is destabilizing what if this is agitating so one

is I love this um eat and die like the it the the floor the ground isn't going to give way and swallow you whole. You have the inner resources to be able to cope and tend and soothe. If you're just a little bit hungry or a little unsettled or a little reminded of previous hurts, like you're building a repertoire of strategies. and the other thing is like those just sound and how normal like flinging out the desire to control that's what it really sounds like to me when I'm stressed when I'm agitated what do we all do like all right I'm gonna get real organized and real plan fling and ask all the questions and asking questions isn't wrong it's not wrong but is that the thing that's going to help you? Does that give you a sense of safety and security in a week that is meant to be like, I'm going to poke at the sorest nerve. So that's what I would ask people. One of the things that people could reflect on is, hmm, look at that control switch that just got flicked on.

Well, I'm sitting here because I've been sharing with our members the last couple of days, just feeling really off. Just woke up on Sunday and just like, I don't know, like something in my brain switched. Things are really great, but I have a lot going on and I'm nervous about the things I have going on going really well. And I, you know, I talked to Tony and I'm back to this feeling like the shoe's gonna drop. And then I'm like nitpicking everything. I'm like really focused on like, well, what about this? And are we doing that? And we are doing this and that.

And that's exactly what I'm trying to do. I am functioning from a place where I'm expecting the worst. So I'm seeing all these things going wrong and I'm trying to control every little move that I make and it's just causing me an epic amount of stress and I can totally see how people are doing this with their diet because they want it so bad and they're being confronted by the scale every single day,

bringing up the feels that they have. This is the week that they feel like, okay, this is where we actually are starting to do something yet it's the same week that is most reflective of a diet. So it's going to bring up some big, massive feels. Woo, man. Are we going to be okay? Are we all going to be okay? Are we going to make it through this? Are we going to make it through this? I think we really are because we're going to perhaps go, we're going to, we're going to take a little space from what's happening and go, oh, I am bringing them that like anxious energy. And the more questions or what ifs and worries, the containment strategies, the control strategies, they're not actually giving me the relief I need

and then there is the invitation what does give you a sense of relief what does remind you of safety and that becomes then it's like oh I'm building a different toolbox then or I'm broadening my toolbox we all have that, right? Where we get dysregulated and we begin like, ooh, those patterns, they begin to rear up. And so if this feels reminiscent to you, the cool thing about this program is that like, it's about the weight. It's not about the weight. it's about our our bigger inner resourcing project our bigger um the bigger journey of how do we cope when life is overwhelming and so great what's what's a new tool or strategy that you can try that isn't lockdown you're locking down

well because downsizing really nothing has changed like you've been doing the things you need to do for the last four weeks of the program, nothing changed. All you are literally doing is eating a few bites less to leave yourself feeling slightly unsatisfied. But it can feel really huge. And the reason why we're having this conversation now is because there are more changes to come. And I find, you know, people get stuck on the new change and they're very resistant for the upcoming change. And it's just a pattern, right? There's a question I was

going to save to the end, but I want to get right into it. And it talks about for adults with ADD, but are ADHD, I don't know the difference, but I would just say for everybody in general, I think this is relevant to everyone in general. It is hard to follow through on a 91 day plan. It is. We, in fact, we get a lot of people who say about this time, this is the longest I've ever done a diet. It is hard to follow through on a 91 day plan from being excited and eager to start to being overwhelmed with the information to boredom, to frustration that results aren't happening fast enough. Any tips on how to navigate the program better? Yeah. I love your starting place, Gina, because this human, and it's great because Kim sent this to me yesterday so thoughtfully to give a chance

to really think this through. And so, you know, my work is almost now exclusively for humans, for students and for parents with ADHD or where there's neurodivergence. And also you had said so rightly, this can help everybody like questions around distractiveness, boredom, frustration, overwhelmed. It's not at all to diminish people's unique experiences, but I also don't want to collapse that like, it's not that everyone with ADHD is the same experience either. So I was thinking through what some of the steps would be

if I think carefully about executive function, if I think about the things that throw people off. This is a very beautiful question that a member has asked. So number one is get clear on the tweak. And the reason I say that is you are, again, this is like we said in the pre-conversation, you're offering a lot of information in a lot of different ways, but you're never asking anyone to engage with all of it. You're offering it all so somebody can take some. It's not for each person to take all. So, so get really clear through whatever modality, listening to the podcast, reading the book, whatever the means are,

understand it. Because sometimes we throw ourselves off because we don't really get it. It's like, wait, what am I, what I'm supposed to, I'm supposed to cut out a meal. No, she never said that. We're downsizing doesn't mean that. So get clear. So not storying. We want to be crystal, crystal clear. The next one, if we're, if we've got attention challenges, get organized. Where, where do you keep all of the material for Gina? So I have a, I have a little drawer here for all of the interviews that we've done. I have, I have a, I have a drawer, it's all here.

And so that's kind of like the everything in arm's reach approach beautiful for learners and any human with adhd it can't be that the journal is by um the coffee table and then the book is in this place and then i sometimes listen to the podcast if you're struggling um with anything that pulls at your focus, get organized. Okay. Everything in arm's reach. The next one is get chunking. Chunking means like subtasking. We don't do 91 days.

Nobody does all of anything all at once. 91 days is made up of one day and one day. So I don't mean to be trite or cliche, but it, it, it genuinely is one day at a time and it might not even be a full day. So I don't mean to be trite or cliche, but it genuinely is one day at a time. And it might not even be a full day. It's a morning and an afternoon. It's this meal. It's this walk. It's the live at nine. So we don't try to do 91 days. You're here on this day doing this thing. Get consistent. Consistency is part of the medicine for ADHD. It's not going to always work. In fact, that's often the like friction point, but make it easier for your brain to feel settled. If it's like every day at nine or Monday, Wednesday, Friday at nine, or every night I open

the app, can you just book it in and trust that booking? If the alarm goes off on your phone, the calendar notification, we don't have to question it. We don't ask, do I feel like it? Nope. It says I am logging my water. Great. Just do it. Follow your own instructions. Another strategy would be get creative. So, you know, get the journal or highlight the book, doodle in the book, make a new cover for the book, like engage in the creative aliveness that often comes with ADHD. Yeah. Make this space of like, I'm really doing this resourcing healing journey with Gina. This is my almost like altar to this experience, make it creative, like really lean into that strength that can come with ADHD. I'll give just two more. I know I'm so

long winded. Get alternating. So boredom is real difficult for every human. You also won't die of boredom. Like this is another place where i often because i work with so many high school and college and university students it's like i'm so bored in this class only great it won't kill you and what an what an opportunity to be able to practice the skill of sitting with boredom what do you do when you're bored because what we want to unlearn is maybe eating when we're bored uh scrolling for really punishing diets online when we're bored so one way to counteract boredom is to just like splice it and go i'm going to do a boring thing and then an interesting thing a boring thing and then a compelling thing a boring thing and then

a riveting thing if it's with boredom too much like if if if paying attention to the podcast is quote-unquote boring like your mind is trailing up, then do 20 minutes at a time. I'm going to do a 20 minute walk in the morning. I'm going to catch up again. I mean, that's the beauty of podcasts. I'm going to listen to Gina 20 minutes, 20 minutes, 20 minutes. Great.

So get alternating. And the last one is get support. So you can support yourself and your executive function yourself, like you for you. Things that help executive function, things that help executive function, things that help us have like as much impulse control and stick-to-itiveness and grit and perseverance and tenacity as possible. Sleep, how unsurprising, it's like a pillar of this whole program. Moving, let's get rid of some of the, like let's use up some of that alive energy um that many folks no matter their age with adhd have let's get moving you don't have to do one hour workout

move four times 15 minutes 15 minutes in a day maybe that's what like oh then i can get back to the thing i was doing more settled or support could look like actually working with an executive function coach, a strategist of some kind, connecting with someone in the program to be like, all right, cool. We've got a morning check-in and an afternoon check-in. We're going to book an accountability. And there is nothing better to go back to your very first question about how do we deal with making change, having a pal, having a buddy, having a community, having someone who is with you in that accountability dance. Okay. So sorry, that was like an hour. I apologize. No, it was so, there's so many parallels of this conversation. I mean, obviously I know the

learning, unlearning, relearning part is such an integral part of people truly losing their weight in a healthy, sustainable way. Get clear, get organizing, get chunking, get consistent, get creative, get alternating, get support. I was thinking about when we talk about maximizing all the other things you can do to help get and keep that scale moving, focusing on your sleep, trying to get better quality sleep, managing your stress, moving your body. There's all these other things. I think so few people really truly understand the learning, the unlearning, the relearning part. When I talk about issues and associations and habits and beliefs, the biggest, I think, challenge for most people is showing up, is following through. I'm

not worried whether if people follow the program, they'll lose weight. For sure, they'll lose weight. We already know that. But will they continue to show up long enough in order to see results and reach their goals? And that's where this whole conversation fits in. So yeah, that was a lot. But I think people need to understand the magnitude of what they're dealing with. Can I say one more? Can I add one more thing? Yes. You and your team and your community like James Clear a lot.

So we think about atomic habits. We think about the like 1% and the aggregate, like what happens if you just like amplify it 1% over 91 days. That really, that counts for a lot. So one of the things that James Clear also reminds people, and I have some mixed feelings because I like people, I like when, I like ambition. I like juiciness. I love when people want so much in their life. I'm one of those humans. But one thing he does remind when you were listing the maximizing, when you think about the 20 questions, is pick one. Pick one. If you're struggling with pinging attention, if you've used the word I'm overwhelmed, if you've said I don't really know where to start, pick one. Because even that one is so rich.

If you think of the one as being sleep but sleep isn't you know unidimensional right it's not one thing it's like how am i going to tend to and nourish my sleep is it around bedtime is it around a buffer zone before sleeping is it around daylight exposure is it around movement earlier in the day caffeine intake what's the actual activity before bed what do i associate with my like sleep on its own is its own rabbit hole and so one thing that could help for anyone who's feeling fragmented or pulled because of course doing gina is just like one part of the whole life you're living. So being on this journey, you're trying to like, can we just, can we have a little bit more refined focus? If you're feeling like there's just too many options.

Some people are going to love that. Some people are going to be like, this is amazing. I could do this and this and this and this and this and this. If that's not you, if that actually is feeling counter to what's helpful, one thing and make it clear for this week or for this program I'm doing, because people do repeats all the time. I've done repeats for this program, this week, this third of the program sleep. I'm going to commit to this bedtime. I'm going to commit to these three sleep nourishing activities. That's it.

I'm going to do all. I'm going to do the food thing she's talking about. I'm going to do some movement she's talking about. I'm going to listen to the podcast, but sleep. That's my one out of the 20 questions. Could help. Well, because people are always trying to, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this. It's chaos. It's just about

having everything come under the same umbrella and being really consistent with the things that you are doing. So it makes a difference. We had a conversation with Dr. Dina Cara at the beginning of the program about overwhelm. It was specifically talking about overwhelm. It is stored in the guides in the Facebook support group. It's also available on our podcast on the living method. I think with all of our guests conversations, especially if you're new to the program, it's a bit of shock and awe. You're learning, you're trying to absorb in the moment. It might be like you're listening, but it might not be resonating. It's such a great idea to go back to invest in the time

to listen to the conversations that we're having with the guest experts. My part, eat this, do this, do that. Like it's such a small part of it, but our guest experts are really what helps us really like dig into the process to unravel, to work through all the things that we need to work. I mean, that alone, we're having our big 60 day, $60 sale today, our early bird I mean, that alone, we're having our big $60 sale today, our early bird, honestly, that alone, like our guest experts are alone. It like is reason to keep coming back to this program. Okay. I want to talk about something. Speaking of conversations we've had before, you mentioned prioritization, prioritizing yourself, how this word of make

sure you're prioritizing yourself is kind of used for lack of a better word, flippantly. And it's not, it's a lot easier said than done to prioritize. And what is this word? Prioritize ourselves. What the hell does it even mean? Can you kind of expand on that conversation a little bit? Because we, I talk about how prioritizing in my, my view, taking time, making space for yourself in your life, taking time for you is one of the hardest things that people can do. But why and what does that mean? And what are your thoughts on prioritization? Well, so we're here for three hours this morning right like that's um it's it's I love being asked this you know Gina very honestly last week I was asked to be the city of Toronto um they're like they have an annual workplace

well-being for women gathering it's open to the public and I was asked to be their annual keynote to talk about the art and heart of prioritizing your well-being. And it was such a gift. And I really think that for an hour, I just like made it work. Like I'm so good at making it worse. So what do I mean? Well, I have a real hard time when someone says, well, you just gotta, you just gotta prioritize, get your priorities straight. And for me, that's the start of the conundrum. And so, um, we have to watch and kind of like, um, oh, repair some of the shame from those lobbed. Um, I don't know. It's like the expectations, the assumptions that we just know how to do the things, but wait a minute. Um, it's like the expectations, the assumptions that we just know how to do the things.

But wait a minute, it's not so straightforward. How on earth could any human know how to prioritize when there are really important things in their family, they're caring for little humans. I'm caring for a little human right now who is being picked on and bullied at school. That became a priority, right? Like that is bubbling up now as taking center stage. There are priorities around health, meaning like, oh, that appointment has to come pretty quickly. I'm nervous about that mole or I've got a toothache. There are priorities at work. Somebody has given you a deadline, priorities at school. You have to hand something in by a certain time. There are priorities that come seasonally. There's tax season. So I just want people to really, really go gentle on the story and the words inside around prioritization, because of course it's difficult.

Prioritization is to rank and sequence our task list. And why is that difficult? Well, because if we take our to-dos that feel, I mean, that are endless, right right there's no actual end to them there is no inherent order they came onto that list because we just remembered it because someone mentioned something because we heard something because somebody texted us something because school calendar said read this email did you read the other three no I didn't read any of them I didn't read any of them I didn't I tried so hard I didn't read a single one they were too long so there's a lot of information from different sources and even if we have that task list it isn't enough and so what we can do is lift some off of them and go, okay, how do we know what to tend to

first, next, and last? Now, often there are systems that are like, oh, the thing that comes first is obviously the most urgent. What is the soonest? Okay, well, that's great and flawed because urgent is just like, oh, we're living in crisis all the time. I'm like, always going to be working on the thing that's due tomorrow the thing I have to show up the presentation that's tomorrow no wonder people are stressed so what I prefer and it's a bit messy but I think it lands well I think the city of Toronto folks who came liked it I think the TED talk folks liked it so I'm playing around with it but it's this idea of a priority wheel. And the priority wheel kind of like flattens the hierarchy because this is more about what my family stuff is more important than work. But the work thing is what pays for all my family stuff and my health. That's where we get stuck.

Yeah, right. It is sticky. Of course, people get stuck. So if we take out the hierarchy and go, what if each morning and afternoon or in a full day, there was something tended to that I have to do, like something I've committed to doing. I've tended also to something that I should do, something that's like on the horizon it's not here yet there's no crisis it's not about urgency but if I don't actually tend to it it's going to inch for it and will become urgent then there's something that I want to do and like who cares what the explanation is I just love doing it like what what is the great sin about cross stitching in the middle of the day or knitting or watching 20 minutes of whatever Grey's Anatomy season 48? Like it's okay. Then what if you tend to something that feels good to do, but you don't ask yourself, do I want to,

like, sometimes we don't want to go for a walk. Tell me one time you've ever gone for a walk and it doesn't feel better. So we do something towards the feel good. And then in our priority wheel, we also included something we aim to do. I really honor the entrepreneurial spirit or the creative spirit or the spiritual, like whatever it is that you have kind of a big aim, the creative, the, I really want to learn this and it's going to take me a long time. You're allowed to chip away at that too. So in a portion of a day or in the fullness of a day, what would it feel like if there was a kind of rhythm of a have to do and a should do and a want to do and a feel good to do and a, an aim, a goal. It might feel different than if we're in a quadrant of like, I'm always going to do the thing that's urgent. That feels hard and stressful. this feels messy it feels messy it feels fluid it but i think the problem is you get back to stress and control and we're trying to we're trying to organize it in a way that makes sense and that's not life because each day is a little different. Your needs change. It's okay for it

to be kind of messy. One day you may have more time for yourself to focus on the things you want to do, but you know, maybe the next day you only have time for the things that you, you, you, you need to do. And, you know, I, I just, I love the kind of the, the wheel idea, because I think we're trying to do that task list. Totally. Prioritize and we get stuck on what's on top, what's on whatever. And then we think it's static and has to stay there. So I have to.

Yeah. Yeah. And what's always going to get triaged out. What is always going to get triaged out if we're stuck and I'm only doing urgent things first, it's going to be ourselves. Until we become our urgent task list and it goes to the top of the list so i'll give you an example from the students i work with okay so a student will have a small reflection like a two percent paper due tomorrow they'll have a midterm in a week and what will they do okay well when they come home they will maybe spend an hour like cleaning, organizing, and to make my agenda feels good. Nothing, no work has actually happened. Number two,

they'll do the 2% reflection that should take this much time, but will expand. They've already had a full day. It's really hard to contain. What will not get done is studying because it's not urgent yet. It will become real urgent if we don't tend to it. And yet if we had front loaded the thing, 20 practice questions, 20 minutes of studying, reteaching myself a tricky concept, that's a totally different approach. And what would I also recommend is going for a jog or a walk in the middle of that and being sure to connect with a friend because that's what makes us feel human. That is a totally different approach to being a student and prioritizing an evening. It's not how it's usually done and yet it will get you the A. Like that's just, that's what happens. So how can we recreate that here? How can we recreate it here,

right? So I'm thinking of someone on their weekend, right? It's this thing every Monday where people have a plan for the weekend. They don't do the things that they need to do. And then a whole weekend's gone by. It's a brand new week. People get on that scale and there's that sense of urgency. Oh my God, what can I do? I'm just like, well, you can keep your shit together on the weekends, right?

And I don't mean to disrespect. I totally get it. But that's what we do to ourselves like now there's a sense of urgency it's like oh well I'm gonna you know I have three months to lose weight for my trip and then you do nothing and then a week before the trip you're trying to lose 40 pounds is that now it's a sense of urgency and so how do we like how do we like let's use the weekend for an example. We know there are things we need to do on the weekend so that when we get on the scale Monday or we hand that paper in or that it's time for that test, we're prepared and we're ready. So what how do we like in the context of the program?

It's so good. How do we. Yeah. OK, so the first thing you can do is actually try a learning strategy. So one is the Ivy Lee method. What is that all about? Essentially it's like this evening, pick the top three priorities for the next day. Why? Because after a long day, now you're being asked to think in clear ways in alignment with your goals. It's too difficult. So at the end of the day, get real clear about the next day. Maybe that means meal planning. Maybe that means how you're going to

structure your day. So the next one would be, the next one would be constraints or scheduling. So what are the things that support you in moving towards your goals? So a wide open spacious day or weekend where we like see how it goes how's that how's that going if it adds to that like ah monday i really effed it up oh well like i don't know how many times we need to do that to be like oh i think a real hurdle for me in the success in moving in the direction that i want to get to or something about these weekends shape them differently shape them differently ahead of time the Pareto principle is interesting it's like 80 percent 80 percent of the impact um can come from 20 percent of the effort it's like when we plant seeds often it's like oh 80 percent of the harvest comes from 20 percent of the seeds or like

80 percent of a population lives in 20 percent of a region. And so what is the biggest impact? What is the biggest, most helpful thing you can do? Oh, I have a really successful weekend when I plan to see a friend, when I schedule going to some kind of movement activity and where I get real clear about my meals. And those two days of the week, when I kind of calibrate them in ways that are in alignment with my goals, that's the biggest bang for my buck. That is by far the trickiest, but the most fruitful place. Worth a try. Okay. For the sake of time, there's two things I want to talk about. I want to talk about motivation, how we're not going to be motivated every day. And I use the example of kids. Our kids, they don't want to go to school, but they got to go to school. Sometimes we don't

go to work, but we got to go to work. The other thing I want to talk about lastly is how do we, and we probably need four more hours, but how do we, how do we, for lack of a better word, prioritize or do the things that we need to do when life, when weight loss seems so trivial in comparison to other things that we're dealing with in life. So those two, I don't know which one you want to pick first. All right. So Gina, I'm so sorry. You're like, come on for half an hour and talk about prioritization, making change. Like what, what the fork? Like, I don't. All right, fine. All right. Motivation.

Motivation. You can't wait for it to knock at the door. And you, there's a brilliant, brilliant line from, I would say one of Canada's, you know, best scholars around procrastination. And he gives the great example. If you're an athlete, you don't only train on fair weather days. You don't ask yourself, do I feel like training today? You go out and train. That doesn't mean you ignore the body. it doesn't mean that you don't tend to the kind of um the flares in depression anxiety what's triggered um in terms of trauma those are like i don't want to conflate things if you need support good good psychological therapeutic support get it get it have that be part of um of like your helping circle what i'm talking about is like um motivation it's almost like a

skill that you can practice and it doesn't matter if you don't feel like it so um we don't ask ourselves am i in the mood you follow the plan not your mood because your mood is changeable i don't mean mood like don don't, um, honor the feedback of if you have a like dark cloud over your head every day that needs to tell you to, I mean, like, I really don't feel like downsizing today. That's a different thing. You know what I mean? But the day before you had a real crystal plan, like, Ooh, I feel so good. All my non-scale victories are feeling great. Yeah yeah so we follow the plan that we set out for ourselves the day before because we're beginning to accumulate enough days and

enough feedback of like oh look look at me go when I'm rested and I've got my coping strategies and I'm moving so motivation follow the plan not the mood and you don't we're not fair weather trainers here okay that leads to the next thing is like um it's not just like personally what if there's a shit storm but existentially and i think this is i think this is perhaps one of the most important questions and i imagine people sit with a lot of guilt um how do i hold the hardest things that are happening in the world and also locally i have have, you know, people who are getting diagnoses, who are sick, who are suffering, there's suffering, who gives

a shit about weight loss, right? I'm allowed to swear. So Jodi falling to pieces in the back. So sorry. It's very therapeutic. Um, so, so how do we, how do we do that? Well, it's just making sure that we ourselves and our bodies and our needs for the short minutes that we're in this lifetime aren't in the background. Because there's no one else who's going to foreground us other than us. And so it's not actually about weight loss. If this were just about weight loss, I couldn't in good faith be here. It's not just about that. You're giving people ways to heal the harm that has happened on the way, the ways that people have been duped and lied to and healing that and getting free from that, think of all of the space that that allows for you to be an activist, for you to contribute creatively, for you to study and generate knowledge. It gives you more of your life back, more aliveness back, that you can do something that is towards healing and restoration and justice so if we're preoccupied all the time feeling so bad and our body's not being able to show up fully take up space fully use our voice

fully oh then it's really really important that you're here i did it right it's like four minutes wow like four minutes wow uh i get it with these conversations oh the whole world needs to hear these conversations honestly they oh my gosh okay we okay so i'm so i'm sorry like i i studied philosophy when i i really went for it there gina i loved it i adore you um yeah it's just like trying to encompass the magnitude right of it all i mean i know you know and it's like always trying to wrap our members in this big blanket of like, it's like, oh, something good is happening here. Yeah, good is happening here.

Yeah, I love it. Okay. I think that's a great note to end on. That's a great note to end on. That's a great note to end on. However and we do have new people who sign up every program, thousands of them who are, are not really sure of what's coming down the pipeline. And so how, what's our advice to them or, or returning members who may get stuck on a certain week and, and resistant, they feel that resistance moving forward. What's the takeaway for them today? Hmm. Yeah. So I guess my starting place, when we begin to think about what should a person do, I don't, and I know you don't ever think of your community as one person or one type or one way of being or learning. So the beautiful thing about what you're offering, quite literally the physicality of what you're offering, is that somebody who needs to know what's coming can check. They can literally scan, excuse me, they can scan and see. They can, if that's what is settling,

if that's the salve, if that, okay, do it. If you notice that you're already two weeks ahead, four weeks ahead, if it's turning into worry, if there's a storyline of I can't, I'll never make it, there's no way, then that scanning isn't serving you and it becomes a practice of presentness. How do I do this day? So you have to honor how you're inclined. You have to honor what helps. That's what I would say. Oh, yeah. Honor how you're inclined. I love that. Follow the plan. Honor your mood. We need t-shirts. We need, we need. But it's a line from Christine Podesky. Like, you know, follow the plan, not your mood. No, I didn't make that up. I wish. Can you imagine?

Oh, my gosh. Awake and learning skyrocket. I got like that up. I wish. Can you imagine? Oh my gosh. Awaken Learning skyrocket. I got like golden line. I'm still putting it on a t-shirt. I'm still putting on a t-shirt. You're going to be back. I'm sure in the next couple of weeks, Dr. Dina Cara is also going to join us at the National Women's Show. So if you want to come and meet her, she's going to be there.

I'm looking forward. I'm so excited. I don't know how any of us are going to focus. I'm like, oh my God, Brennan and Jodi's going to be there. It's Dr. Beverly. It's just going to be like a big hug fest. It's so fun. I better get a new outfit. Yeah. Same. I'm already stressing about it. I'm already thinking, what am I going to wear? Yes. But I think you're with us again, if you're back before then, and I'm sure you're back in the next couple of weeks. What do you have coming up? I know, first of all, how do people find you and what do you have coming up? You're great. So does that,

like, do you see that Gina does this? So thank you for doing this. Being a business owner is hard. And if we bring a spirit of like, there's not enough to share, it's so unkind and it's how business has always been done. But when we go, how can I uplift? How can I broadcast? How can I amplify? Because I also believe in what you're doing. I want to use my profile to help your profile. That's a beautiful thing. And let me tell you, I have not always been mad with that. So you for asking how can people find me yeah I'm on Instagram where I'm trying to do social for good and I offer lots of educational content lots of different strategies so if that feels like something that is not harmful but helpful I'm very aware of social media and it's kind of a

behavior modification but if it feels like a useful way to interact the other thing that I've got going on is low-cost um group learning strategies parent circles and so I started last week if you missed last week I send you the recording um and I uh send you the slide deck so we're meeting tonight at 7 p.m it's half hour it's like 30 minute meals but of learning strategies and tonight is all about prioritization last week was time management next week is studying and so if you have a learner in your life from like grade five through to post-secondary if they have adhd anxiety ld is not it doesn't matter if there's a learner in your life come they They're really, really, really sweet. So I would say those are two great ways to be together. Awakenlearning.ca. You can also sign up for her newsletter,

awakenlearning.ca slash newsletter. I love that social for good. Social for good. I'm so interested in ethical entrepreneurship and how much social media makes us all feel like garbage. And so, uh, I just don't want to do it. If I'm going to interact, it means I'm going to give you like really cool, actionable, free, frequent, um, not like, uh, God help us watch me dance. Like I'm just not, don't watch me dance. Don't watch me point at stuff. Nobody needs to see either one of those things. So what I will offer you is like far too earnest, likely long winded, um, stuff about how to learn whatever it is you want to learn better.

That's why we're kindred spirits. I I'm along the same ethical entrepreneurship, man. I, you know what you and I should have a podcast about that. I would love to, um, personally talk to you about that. It's not an easy thing to do. Let me tell you. Like the people who I went to school with I'm like wow you were born into wealth and um you've had so much help along the way can I have half an hour of your time and they go for eighteen hundred dollars I'll sit with you I'm like what is happening what is happening Gina Livy says um please come and share I believe in you um my success is your success is my community success.

It's a different approach to doing business. It's beautiful. Sharing is caring. I truly believe in sharing is caring. I share good people. I even share great products. I think I'm also 95% of our members have found us through referral, through someone else sharing.

And that's not lost on me. You know, I just, I think you're like me. I want to be able to sleep, but I want to be successful. I want to help people truly. And I want to sleep at night because it's hard enough to get good sleep. Yeah. Both are true. Both are true.

How to have a beautiful business. It's like actually beautiful. Totally. I love it. Well, I always say about the Libby method, the way that people are going about making change, the things that they are working through to work towards a common goal are no different in the same techniques, the tools, the thoughts, the things that I'm working through in order to reach my goals. I, yes, I don't, my goal is no longer weight loss. My goal is like weight loss company, but it's the same, same keeping your energy directed at yourself, meeting yourself for your

app, knowing what you need, doing the things that you need to do, being consistent about those working through all this prioritization. What are your coping strategies? This is the same. It's the same. It's the same. That's why I'm like, if you can lose weight in this way, man, this is why so many of our members after, after they are done losing their, they go on. They're like, I'm going to quit my job. I'm going to start my career. I'm going to do something new. What's your next project? What's your next project? I love that. Okay. Dr. Gina Karasheva, thank you so much for joining me today. Thanks for everyone who's joined us live.

I did keep an eye on your comments and your questions and whatnot. Have an amazing day, everyone. Remember, you can download and listen to this segment over on our podcast, The Libby Method. You can also rewatch it time and time again. It will be in the guides in the Facebook support group. Dr. Dina Karasheva,

I'm already looking for our next conversation. Thank you so much.