The Livy Method Podcast - Let's Talk Navigating the Information with Dr. Deena Kara Shaffer

Episode Date: April 5, 2024

Gina chats with best-selling author and learning expert Dr. Deena Kara Shaffer about effectively navigating all of the information. You can find the full video hosted at:https://www.facebook.com/groups/livymethodwinter2024Topics covered:Introducing Dr. Deena Kara ShafferHow do we make time and space for ourselves to reach our Finally & Forever goalsHow to prioritize yourself without feeling overwhelmedHow to get comfortable with making these changesHow to unlearn old habits and create new onesRebuilding Trust comes with practiceLearning and unlearning informationWorking on old habits and creating new onesHow to manage the frustration that comes up when you don’t see immediate changeTips for returning members: Approaching the program with a beginner’s mindTips for remembering and absorbing the informationReaching out for help can be life-changingCommunity care – lean into the communitySwitching your internal dialogueDr. Deena Kara Shaffer’s final words for the Livy Loser CommunityWhere to find Dr. Deena Kara Shaffer @awakenedlearningTo learn more about the Livy Method, visit www.ginalivy.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm Gina Livy and welcome to the Livy Method podcast. This is where you'll have access to all of the live streams from my 91 day weight loss program. With a combination of daily lives, guest expert interviews and member stories, there is something new almost every day. Miss the morning live? Want to re-listen to one of our amazing guest experts? Well, this is the place. This podcast is hosted on Acast, but it's available on all podcast platforms, including the one you're listening to right now, Spotify, Apple,

and Amazon Music. Dive into Peloton workouts that work with you. From meditating at your kid's game to mastering a strength program, they've got everything you need to keep knocking down your goals. No pressure to be who you're not. Just workouts and classes to strengthen who you are. So no matter your era, make it your best with Peloton. Find your push. Find your power. Peloton.

Visit Peloton at onepeloton.ca. You're going to have this ability to now reframe. Allow yourself time throughout the day to stress the fuck out. The thoughts and the feelings and the behavior cycle can start changing. My guest today, Dr. Dina Kara Schaefer, she is a learning strategist. If you are trying to lose weight, you want to listen to this conversation because weight loss is so much more than what you are eating and when or drinking or exercising. It's a lot of things, including making space in your life, unlearning, relearning, learning new things. Welcome to the show, Dr. Dina Kara-Shafer. Hello. Hi. Hi. There's no place I'd rather be. Hi, everyone. Good morning. I'm holding up your book,

Feel Good Learning. We're going to give everyone details on where to find you at the end of the show. So important, such an important conversation. You are no stranger to the Libby method. You know how hard people are working. You've done it yourself. You know the changes that you need to make. You were on earlier before we even started our winter program, just kind of helping people kind of go over the information, prioritize the information, but that was before we started. And now we are two weeks into the program and people are realizing, holy shit, this is a lot. This is, I mean, we have this big ass book with like almost 500 pages. We have the Facebook group, we have guest segments, we, you know, we have our podcast, we have our app, there's a lot going on. In order to make real change, you have to prioritize yourself in order to do that.

And that's not the easiest thing. So let's get into that. How do you make space for trying to reach this huge finally and forever weight loss goal in your life while you have other things going on? Oh, I love that. Ain't that just all of our struggles? Isn't that like, that's the question. How, how do I make time and space for myself? Yeah. It makes me wonder, are people in the background

of their own lives? And we have, we put everything else front and center, but what would happen? What could possibly ripple if we actually centered ourselves if we put ourselves in the foreground you know I think about how much we wait like okay if we once we get through this then we can really start the living myth okay once we do this then we can say what but there's never going to be a perfect time so I'm always interested in the, like the mindset piece, the relationship to the thing that we want. And so there actually, as everyone probably already knows and has lived over and over again,

there's never going to be a perfect time. Now, does it mean, it doesn't mean that life doesn't come kick us in the butt and we actually have to put something aside. You know, there's never going to be this ideal, gorgeous, free, unencumbered three months, 91 days where nothing else is asked of you. So given that kind of question is like, why not now? Why not you and why not now? I mean, I've sat in front of so many people who were like, okay, this is my time. I've set aside these three months and then something always, I'm like, Oh, something always happens. You can't wait for that time. I love the background of your life. Are you in the background of your life in the sense of waiting? People do this with weight loss. I mean, that's where it's like, people are

like, when I lose my weight, I'm going to do that. I'm going to start dating. I'm going to, I'm going to start a business. I'm going to whatever. So they're not just waiting on weight loss. They're waiting to lose their weight in order to do all these other things after they've reached their goal. Okay. I love that. We're getting right into this.

Um, so how do you prioritize yourself without being overwhelmed then? Well, I think to begin with, if it feels very unfamiliar, if you're not used to making time for yourself, if it's actually been a habit for you, or to be honest, a necessity for you to put others first, I mean, people have very real pressures, caregiving, parenting, health. To begin with, it's a very intentional practice. I am going to set aside these morning 15 minutes and these evening 15 minutes. And that's the beginning, the beginning, the baby steps of boundary and time for myself or actually, no, kids, you can't come in right now. No, I can't do this for you right now. This is when I'm going to listen to 15 minutes of a podcast

if I can't make the morning life. This is where I'm going to begin to read through your book. I'm not going to read it all, not all at once, but I am going to get through this week's reading a couple of pages at a time and to really practice the full unapologetic permission to take those 15 minutes. Now, in time, those 15 minutes can become 20, can become 25, can become a podcast on an evening walk. But if it feels unfamiliar, if it feels unsettling, if in your family or household context there's pushback, then we begin with practice, creating a new rhythm that is easeful. That's easeful for you to get on board, easeful for your community to get on board. I'm just going to practice this and then we'll see

what happens. And probably it's a much bigger deal here than it is when we roll it out. You know, probably it's going to go just fine. Probably those 15 minutes, the kids are going to get up to something good. We can set them up for success to set you up for success. But it begins first when it is like not natural and it's not quite your usual mode, just intentional practice. Wow. Because it's not just changed for you. It's changed for everyone around you. Cool. Okay. How do you get comfortable? How do you get, how do you work through that uncomfortableness? How do you get comfortable with making these changes? I loved your concept little and often, right? Like how do, how do we? Like how do we get comfortable with making this change?

That's so interesting. I mean, in part, I think that that's at the heart of the entire project, the entire journey, the entire adventure is it is going to be new if you are a first time member. It's going to be new if you allow it as a returning member, seeing things differently, what can be enhanced or amplified, what can be tried anew. But the whole thing that you're asking us to do is to really visit and consider and

try out and experiment with a new relationship, a new relationship to ourselves, a new relationship to the kind of place of food in our lives. It's not not central, but it just ain't the whole thing here. And so in a way, when you're asking, well, how do we deal with change? How do we deal with discomfort? That's the point. Because it hasn't been that when things have gotten uncomfortable or stressful, we turn to food. We turn to more than our body might need or not food that is actually quite nourishing fuel for our bodies. So that's it. What are the practices that help you sit in the seat of discomfort. There is no way to be a person. There is no way to be in a body. There is no way to be in loving relationships and not have discomfort. So that's in a way the project, when you feel it, when you begin to feel those

sensations of like, I don't want to do this. I don't like this. I like, how's this going to go? Okay. And then what? And is it breathing? Is it a phone call to a beloved friend? Is it popping on the Facebook group? I'm going to take Jean on a walk. I'm going to lie down on the floor like a starfish for a moment and just feel the ground underneath my body. So a way to begin that is what's most available to you. What's most available to you? Can you feel your body? Does it begin there? Is it something to do with relationship? Is there somebody who you can talk with? Really trusted person? Is it to do with like physical, like just wrap me up in a hug, wrap me up in a hug, kind spouse? Is it distraction? That's not always unhealthy. Is it play? Is it I'm going to get into something creative, a creative pursuit? Is it fresh air? I got to get out a little bit of movement, a little bit of bigger world, a bit of perspective. Go with what feels like is going to help you bridge through that moment where it's feeling tough, icky, new, hard to absorb, that's okay. That's part of it.

Well, a lot of us aren't used to that. We're living safe lives, comfortable lives, easy, accessible lives where we're not putting ourselves in situations where we are being challenged or where we feel that discomfort. I mean, especially after the pandemic, like I don't leave my house. I got to go meet someone for lunch today. And I'm like, like last week, it was a great idea today. I'm like, Ooh, I gotta, what? I gotta go meet someone new. I got to leave my house. So we're so used to this comfort, this safety, this what we know that I think it's I think it's healthy to to challenge yourself a little bit. I think it's healthy to feel that to me, whenever I'm feeling uncomfortable after making change, it's usually I'm I'm about on that precipice of change, you know, where, OK, this is where I'm actually changing as a person. And and what I'm actually changing as a person. And, and what I'm doing is

making a difference. But it's, you think it's like, you're gonna be like, Oh, this is amazing, when really, there's a lot of, there's a lot of discomfort there. Totally. And, you know, you going to see someone today, the suffering or the discomfort is in the is in before you meet them, right? It's not when you get there and you're 10 minutes in and you're having a laugh and it's like, oh my gosh, what was I so worried about? Was I anxious about, like whatever.

But it's in this. So how much of that is actually that storytelling, those old habits, the old storylines that are rearing their head? Look at what's coming for us. Look at what's coming for us. Look at what's coming for us. And so who would want to feel uncomfortable? Nobody wants to, right? It's too hot. We turn on the air conditioning. It's too cold. We like, we're always adjusting so that we're comfortable. That's so normal. That's what we do. But it doesn't mean that we're not capable, that we're not resourced

enough to actually sit with what's hard. Yeah. This is like, I'm just like picturing people doing the program, making all these changes, eating more often when they're used to trying not to eat all day, eating fruit when they're avoiding fruit or not eating nuts or not eating fat and all of these things that they're so stuck or used to what they were doing before. Right. So how much is this feeds into like old way of thinking or old habits? Is it, is it like, how do you, I say you, I say with weight loss, you have to unlearn and then relearn and learning things. So how do you start with unlearning all the, all the different ways you've done before, like counting, weighing, measuring, being afraid of this, being afraid of that. Like, how do you, how do you, we talk about working through old habits and creating new ones, but how do you, how do you, how do you do that?

Oof. I think there's a few think there's a few threads here. And I just, oh, can we just sit and how much harm and how much shame and how much hurt that we've all experienced around this stuff? Yeah. So, of course, it's more unlearning, isn't it, than it is learning. The learning is actually pretty straightforward. Follow what Gina tells you to do. But it's the unlearning stuff of all of the promises, all of the ways that actually it's a larger system that told us we're problems to be solved. We're not good enough we're not working

hard enough like there's so much there there's so much pain there and part of this program will help you tend to that some folks might need a guide on the side like some people really might find you know what i actually need a therapeutic ally to help me through this because this is big, it's lifelong, it's heavy. And I need a little bit more, I need a little deeper support. But how do we do that? Well, it's interesting in a way, as hard as it might be for some people, until it is your reality until you can really experience change yourself, until that voice that's judging you or telling you like, fruit's not good, like naturally available, until we get through that hurdle, we're just going to follow Gina's plan.

And we're not going to think about, do I want to? We're not going to reassess, oh, this isn't going to work. We're just a couple of weeks in. We're not going to, we're not going to reevaluate yet. Okay. We have so many, like how many thousands and thousands of people have been through your program. Nobody gains weight. Everyone's successful. You just do the things until it becomes internalized and it's your own until you can practice the thing of oh if i ask these questions over days and weeks look at that look at that voice that's now in my head wow ah and it's hard trust has always been like a little bit at the heart here because it's been toyed with our trust has been tinkered with our trust in ourselves can i trust myself not to eat too much

can i trust myself not to go overboard like that's not your fault everyone that's that like that's what's been done to everyone and so we can put our trust in a program that is beautiful science, beautiful number of humans who've done it until it becomes your own lived experience. So we're going to borrow, we're going to borrow. We're going to lean into Gina here. We're going to lean into like all of the Facebook ambassadors and carers and guides and

answer. Like we're going to lean into them until we feel that trust come back until we experience change. This is so huge because everyone, our returning members are like trust Gina, trust Gina, trust Gina, but that, that trust just might not be there. So it's more like just do what you need. You know what you, you signed up, you were motivated to sign up. You know what you want. These are the things you need to do. Do the things you need to do until that trust is there. Totally. So it's really interesting. So I come as a learning expert. I come as a learning specialist. And so I work with lots of humans, learners and professionals who are like, oh, time management, oh, procrastination. Like I cannot. And there's

really, really interesting phrasing around this. So if I yesterday make a plan for today, I'm going to move my body. Well, then I'm not going to ask myself today, do I feel like it? Because yesterday I actually went very sound, very clear scene. I made a good plan, solid plan for what I wanted. So I'm not going to read about, do I feel like, am I in the mood? No, I'm following the plan and not my mood. That doesn't mean denying my emotional experience of life. It means that I know that my mood is like the weather and it changes. So I'm actually just going to stick with the plan. So I'm going to follow the living method.

I'm going to do what it says to do this day. And I'm not going to question it yet. And I'm not going to ask myself, you know, is this going to work? I'm going to do this day. And then I'm going to do tomorrow. I'm going to, I'm going to do tomorrow. Cause I, I actually signed up clear headed, seeing the results likely. Cause that's how everyone comes here likely. Cause they know someone else have worked for. And, and you know what? I might ask myself that question in three months, or I might ask myself that question in two groups. Let's see what happens. It is an experiment, a really joyful, hopeful experiment.

So huge. Trust will come with practice. It's like building momentum. We rebuild all at once. How could it come back all at once? How could we nourish what's been stolen over so much time? So I'm going to do this day and I'm actually going to rebuild like an architect. I'm going to rebuild that trust a little bit at a time through the practice of each day.

So is what we're doing unlearning old information and then replacing it with new information? I mean, in a way, it's interesting. Like if the word replace is helpful for people, it could be for a while that they're alongside each other. It could be actually that some of what people learned isn't all wrong. Like some of the things they might've picked up along the way are helpful. So it's actually over time, a kind of discernment will happen of like, what is still alive and good and helpful that can coexist with what I'm learning anew. But it's also learning, not just a kind of technical structure that I'm doing this week and the next week changes and the week after changes.

It's learning about yourself. It's learning about what those, for lack of a better word, triggers are. Yeah. It's learning about where do I go for comfort? It's learning, do I actually heed the feedback of the body? Can I even tell what my body's feeling? And I don't say that with any judgment. It's taken me, I just turned 43. It has taken me all this time and I'm still working on it because of trauma, because of the lives that we've lived. I can't always feel my body. That's my big project here is over and over. How do I feel the fatigue my body's telling me is present?

The need to rest, the need to move, the need to play, the need to lighten up, the need to exhale and unclench. So there is whatever we call it, learning and unlearning, learning anew, replacing learning. For me, and I know that's the lens I see in the world, that's how I view things as a kind of unfolding of learning. It is like taking a course. It is like taking a master class of the very best kind and how lucky in community with all of these streams different modalities of information you can listen to it you can read it you can track it you can connect live with other people i mean watch what unfolds in what you think, you know, about yourself

in the next three months or however many groups, isn't that remarkable? Like onion, like onion layers, what will, what will reveal itself? Yeah. There's a lot of pressure we put on ourselves to make this change. And when you kind of like, you allow time for change to happen, time for you to get comfortable with it. You know, it just takes the pressure off. You mentioned triggers. We talk about triggers, old habits. You know, we talk about working through old habits, creating new ones. What does that mean? What does that mean? Like, are we, what does that, what does that mean? What does it mean? Oh, well, in a way it's like, um, you know, we can strum a chord and, and sometimes when we, like we hear a chord that's strummed and it feels really soothing,

like, oh, that just is, that's so resonant. There's like a resonance in the body. And other times we hear a sound and we're like, oh gosh, that's, it feels a little like that where something comes along and it's one phrase or it's one item or it's one practice or it's one behavior. It's one invitation. We're like, that thing feels alive, like another thing. And so it will happen and it will happen over and over and over again. One of the things I feel like you're asking us to do is, how do you care for that? How do you soothe that?

Can you tell what's happening? That this thing, present moment, is actually very different than that thing that happened before and that comment about your body then that all like the way someone made you feel then that diet plan you were sold paid a couple thousand bucks and it failed you know yeah this is not that but it might feel like. And that's an invitation not to shy away, avert our eyes, run in the other direction, get angry with Gina. It's an invitation for something else. Ooh, I think that needs tending to. That hurts.

That hurts in a way that's bigger than this moment. And that's not, I don't have to feel badly about that, but I can wake up to what that's inviting me to do. People feel frustrated a lot with this process. And what I suggest to them, it's, it's, they're probably just frustrated that here they are 20 years later, still trying to lose weight, frustrated that those other crappy diets didn't work. Frustrated that, you know, they have to, you know, they don't have the time. Frustrated to whatever, like frustrated for so many things. Not the fact that they're here and they're doing and they're supported and they're great. You know, it's a great program, great support, you know, amazing community, all of that.

How do you manage that frustration especially as you know people are getting on the scale and they're frustrated because they're doing the work and they're not seeing the payoff because they're just looking at the scale I know there's non-scale victories and all that but the frustration like I I you know so whenever I learn something new, I always suck. I suck. And but then I always become the best. I like I'm the worst. And then what I once I really take time to learn it, I'm I become really good at it. There's a lot of frustration in there. Why do I suck so bad? Why am I not getting this? What so do you know what I mean? So how do you move past that frustration stage? Oh, my gosh.

Is it normal? You said the word frustration. I'm like, I need to write down 15 ways that I want to respond to that. Go for it. So, I mean, the first thing is frustration is a feeling. Like, you know, boredom is a feeling. Like, they're feelings. And feelings are, like are like they're temporary it's temporary so step one is uh recognize that you're feeling frustrated cool how do you know that you're frustrated like that's just emotional intelligence right we're practicing something oh when i'm frustrated i like

i hear my voice scale i feel my fists clench. Okay, cool. That's a good noticing. Just helpful feedback because we're talking trust. We're talking rebuilding trust in the body. Okay. What am I frustrated about? Is this something to do with expectations? Is there a mismatch between how quickly I can do this? Because wait, hey, wait a minute, weight doesn't appear immediately. And so it can't leave immediately. Is it expectations about the living method? Like, wait a minute. It's like eight days in Gina. Okay. Okay. Wait, just give it, give it a hot minute. Give it a hot minute. Is frustration actually a feeling of like powerlessness? Is it a feeling of impotence? And what I really need in my life is I actually need to feel like a little bit of mastery and a little bit of

confidence, a little bit of judge about something. Cool. Where is that? What are you excellent at? Practice it. Practice it alongside when you're feeling like a really sucky beginner at something because you're not only a sucky beginner, you're just a sucky beginner maybe in this one thing.

So that's actually beautiful. I had a roommate 20 years ago. He was a brilliant, brilliant, super brilliant, like acrobatic yoga teacher. And you know what he did? I found this to be one of the most impressive things that will last with me for a lifetime. He wanted to remember what it was like to be a beginner in his body because he was so skilled, he could really, really do all of the yoga moves. He took tango. He took tango on purpose so he would know what it was like to have two left feet and he could really feel into the baby beginners in his room.

That is a beautiful, beautiful approach. We never treat ourselves like that. We expect that we should be expertly from the get-go. Somehow we should just like read something and understand it, internalize it, remember it right away. Wait, wait, what is actually a reasonable expectation? If you were a teacher and then you had a student, what would you say to that student about what it means to build confidence, what it means to build a skill. Would you be that harsh? Would you be that demanding? I just taught you the quadratic formula. How come you don't know it right away? Like we said over time, so we can context switch in our minds and go, wait a minute, if this were in another situation, would I be so frustrated? And so can I so can I what can I give myself some grace here what would it mean to give myself some grace this is for many people very new very uh like jostling you know it's asking us to do something that's like that's not how I've been doing it, Gina. Yeah. So you're frustrated.

How normal? That is a feeling and feelings pass like the weather passes. How do you deal with feelings that are uncomfortable? Let's start a new practice. You're going to pick up journaling. You're going to pick up doodling. You're going to pick up calling a beloved friend. You're going to just physically move the body. So frustration isn't like a kind of stagnant and gnawing energy. Got lots of options. We got to try it out and not just, I mean,

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running era, Pilates era, or yoga era, dive into Peloton workouts that work with you. From meditating at your kid's game to mastering a strength program, they've got everything you need to keep knocking down your goals. No pressure to be who you're not. Just workouts and classes to strengthen who you are. So no matter your era, make it your best with Peloton. Find your push. Find your power. Peloton. Visit Peloton at onepeloton.ca. I, um, something you said, something you said there, I'm thinking about how I've been doing this for 36 years and I'm still learning something new and I'm still working through my own shit. And I'm thinking about our, our returning members who, who are so hard on themselves

that they have to keep returning when doing it's just doing another round until you reach your goal just like any other diet you start you keep going until the end it's no different but i think they feel they put a lot of pressure on themselves because they should know because they've done it before or you know maybe they were really successful in the first round and then they're struggling their their second round you, like any advice for our members back for another round? Yes. So yes, I mean, always like, Oh, yes, sure. So, you know, you speak a lot about fresh eyes. And sometimes how I hear the language of fresh eyes, just because of my own meditation practice and own background is this idea of beginner's mind. Beginner's mind, it's such a beautiful approach. So if we are know-it-alls,

if we come thinking like, I know everything there is to know about this program. Yeah. Well, we miss out. But when we bring the perspective as if we've never actually read your book, as if we've never done week one, week four, we've never downsized, we've never maximized, then we see it a whole new perspective another way to think about it is what is one thing that was kind of down on the list of your emphasis like what what what was just not up at the top that you could this time place a new emphasis on it's like a matter of emphasis yeah so if we imagine a spotlight and instead of it just being diffuse over you know all of the possibilities you could do just shine us a slightly stronger light on one or two of of the possibilities here one or two is it movement is it sleep is it stress

is it community is it supplements is it is it is it is it is it listening to the guest experts is it you know what i i really don't make time for the 9 a.m like i'm gonna that's what i'm gonna do i've just never done that book. I have not ever commented. I've never done end-of-day reflections. I've never journaled. There are so many options. And you've laid it out for us so beautifully. And so which could you choose this time?

And see what that might unlock or shift or bring up for you? What might that, what might that be an invitation for this time around? Is that leveling up or is that different? Yeah, sometimes it's interesting. Sometimes when I hear leveling up and really that's your language and so I go with I go with what you with your articulation of it but sometimes I feel like leveling up is like a fine tuning uh like turning up the volume just a little bit on that okay yeah and when I think about a fresh eyes it's like well I didn't catch that before. I didn't catch the importance of vitamin D before. I didn't catch movement in the same way. And so this time I'm going to break up my movement. I am going to do a different kind of movement. I'm going to spread it out differently. You know, I think about water,

you know, the thing that's really helped me that I didn't hear with the fullness of my ears and heart is like, Oh, I'm going to sprinkle a little salt in there. I'm going to like, huh? Well, that actually made it a lot easier for me to drink eight liters of water a day. So I didn't hear it though. I didn't hear it. Because it's not possible. It's not possible to absorb all of the information. And you're not asking us to.

You're not asking us to. And so there's no way that we could do it all, all of the time. What's the opportunity for returning members this go around? Catching it, hearing it, you know, absorbing it. How returning member, new member, it is a lot of information. So is there a way to absorb it better to catch the information? Like, is there, is there, is there, is there a way to better remember the things that we're reading or we're listening to or watching? Yeah. And I mean, those are like, I love that, right? Like I'm a learning human. So I'm always thinking about this stuff like this. So, okay. So first of all, and I know I mentioned this in the

past because for me, it's so important. Like I'm a really justice oriented educator. And I think about how information is presented to people. Never once have you said, Hey, amazing community members, you need to listen and write and track and read. And no, you're saying here is everything that's available to you. Yeah. It works. Do what makes sense for your life. So the first thing around, uh, how do I remember is, have you kind of created pathways of ease to access the information? Did you stop at overwhelm? Did you go like, I just can't, I've hit a wall. Okay. So how do we bridge into re-accessing that? Oh, that's really helpful when Gina talks it through to me. Cool. Cool. Can you just turn it into an audio book? Like there's so many free programs to do that. Oh, actually the podcasts are exactly like that. Oh, it's helpful when I see Gina's face. It's helpful when I see live comments. Cool. Come to a lot. It's helpful when I write it

out myself. Great. End of day reflections. It's helpful when I track. I'm like a data collector. I need to see momentum and action. Okay. So are you using the app? So the first part is to identify in a way your modality. How are you, how are you going to more easily access the information? No one says you have to do all of it. In fact, I'm here to say, don't do, don't try, don't try to do all the things because you're going to set yourself up for an, it's an impossible task. Yeah. Because we have, we have the Facebook support group. We have the app, which is amazing to track. I love the data collection, right. Which will come into, come into play, especially later on when you're reflecting on, on what you've done. We have the book, we have like,

we have so many resources, but they're not meant to overwhelm people. It's because people learn differently, right? So maybe you're just using the Facebook group. Maybe you're just using the app. Maybe you are, you are using the app and listening to the podcast. Maybe you have the book and then you're, you know, you're doing along the Facebook group. It's not meant to do all the things and to overwhelm everybody. It's meant because people do learn differently. So is it a matter of just figuring out what works for you that step one that step one is is what works with you and then second is to not try to absorb an entire week's worth of information and certainly not an entire program's worth of information all at once yeah really appreciate that you lay it all out and it's

there for people who are like anticipating okay but i but I need to know. Cool. But then if you feel that, okay, look, practicing feedback, I'm beginning to get overwhelmed. I'm beginning to forget what week I'm in. I'm not really remembering then what I'm supposed to do this week. Cool. Narrow the scope, narrow the scope. I don't need, I don't need to know the whole program's worth today. I can just focus on this week. And in fact, this week is maybe 10 or 20 pages. I'm going to divide that by five days. Okay. I'm going to read four pages today. And that's my work. That's my work. That's my engagement. Did I understand? Did I go through it with a, with a, like an underline, anything I wasn't clear about? And did I pose that as a question? Right? So how do we remember something is, have we made it an useful pathway into access? Have we broken it down into smaller subtasks, a certain number of pages, make it manageable,

make it doable, prevent overwhelm. We don't have to just kind of attend to it when it happens. How do we prevent it? Okay. And also just because you choose to read the book. Okay. I think that's going to be my thing. I think I'm going to really focus on reading. If it's not going that well for you this time or this week, or you've got so much going on, you got kids and aging parents, people pulling it. It's a lot more on the podcast. Let them tell you what to do while you're washing the dishes. That's an okay option. And then what do you do? Well, if you're struggling to remember, write down in your own words, the two or three main points. I'm doing this. I'm eating at these times. And this is the thing I'm going to focus on. Boom. I'm going to

give myself my own list. I'm going to take what Gina says, all that beautiful information, so much rich detail. I'm going to give myself the direction. Like what is the directive here from there? If I further and struggling, like how do I recall? What do I, what's the point of this week again? Cause there's so many things pulling in our executive function. We're trying to hold it all. Yeah. So then I'm going to, I'm going to explain it to another person. I'm going to revisit those couple of distilled points tomorrow. And then look what happens. I'm going to practice each day this week. And I did remember, I followed the instructions. It's all there. And no one's asking anyone to memorize everything. You have a book that's there, a guide. Yeah. I find people are, especially with dieting,

like they think they should know what to do, you know, or they should have, they should be able to do it on their own when, I mean, there's so much benefit, right? There's people here to support you, ask your questions. There's a community here, there's new information, there's guests. Where does that come from? And I hear this a lot where people are like, well, I just got to prove to myself that I can do this on my own. Or, you know, I should know, I should already know how to do this. And like, what's, what's the, what's the block there? Oh, I mean, I think those are big questions, right? It's how is help seeking perceived? What are the right? Like, what are the images or the, the things that we say about people

who reach out? How is that depicted in all kinds of media? So I'm just, can you make up your own mind, instead of feeling like some imposed, some imposed version of like, no, we're supposed to be stoic says who this is hard. And we've all been duped for a long time and being offered. And we signed up for it. And the help is so good and responsive and kind. So maybe that's the new practice. If that's the thing that's hard,

and if that's the thing that's uncomfortable, why don't we try that for 91 days? I just had a minute because there was a time in my life where just everything went to shits. And I was like, I'm fine. I got this. I can do this. And then, and then when I reached out for help, it was life changing. And it was so amazing because people wanted to help me in my life. And the same here. And I say this all the time. Like sometimes it's like, I feel people feel like we don't want them to do well. You know, like, I don't know where that comes from. Like we, we want, we're here for you and we're so excited to help you and support you. And we want this so badly for you. Can you speak to that resistance that people have with that? Oh, that's so interesting. You know, sometimes we see people

who are suffering and we think it's an imposition. if I help, if I offer. They just want to be left alone. But actually, I think more and more the ways around, like something that's missing when we talk about self-care is community care. We're in community. And we can't just think of the individual separate from their home constellations their work constellations their neighborhood their spiritual communities like all the ways that we're involved and interlinked and so what a brave thing to in a way not worry so much about

the impact on another but to trust their boundary setting. If they can't help you, it's not personal. They'll say, I can't right now. Trust the other person and the container in a way that if they can help, they will. And they'll be so glad you asked. I feel like every time I pop onto Facebook and that, you know, look, case in point, that isn't my best modality. The way my work and family life is structured, it's hard for me to do that engagement because I don't want to. That's just not going to be the

thing, the way that I get through this program successfully. The way that I do it is I listen to a lot of podcasts because I can do it on my drive up to campus.. Way that I do it is I listen to a lot of podcasts because I can do it on my drive up to campus. It means I can do it when I'm walking the dog. It allows me flexibility in the ways that my day is structured. But I notice when I'm able to pop onto Facebook, how delighted, like actually delighted your team is to answer. And they answer in such fulsome ways.

I remember talking to Tony a year ago, and it's like, what makes this program so special and so magical? Some people might say, well, it's the Livy method. It's the structure. And I think Tony said something thaty method. It's the structure. And I think Tony said something that was brilliant. It's customer service. It's being attentive to each individual and their absolute, at the core of their being, heartfelt hope that their life can look and feel different, that they can have a different experience, not just in their body,

but in their relationship to others and to life. And so why not, if asking for help feels like the worst thing, or if you were shamed in the past, or if that's not the image that's around you, or if you've been made to feel badly badly you're being asked not only to try something different but the safest place the safest protected kind of nest here to practice asking for help and when in fact you ask a question and not launch a complaint like i don't know i was over illustrated i mean actually ask a question you are met quickly and with care it's good practice you know even with that that environment people are still very hard on themselves they that internal dialogue they i think some people feel like if they berate themselves and they're hard on themselves, that's going to help them do the things they need to do. Or, you know, between kindness to yourself and patience, I think that's one of the hardest things, I think, for people.

Yeah. We didn't ask for that tone of voice in our head. That's so inherited but it doesn't mean we don't have a choice about the tone going forward and a very beloved friend of mine she's training to be a psychotherapist now she's going to be a good one in the world she said to me years ago you know i have the angry football coach in my head. I like it when I can switch her to a really loving granny voice and see what happens. And it's so fun.

You know, that relentless, ruthless football coach who like never thinks we're doing a good enough job. Yeah. Yeah. But what happens when it's like, oh, honey, come and sit at the table and tell me about it. You're doing such a good job. You're trying so hard. Totally different. Totally different. Totally different. Who wouldn't be frustrated? Who wouldn't be uncomfortable? Who wouldn't find it hard to hope? Yes. Who wouldn't? We need to normalize that. Who wouldn't we we need to normalize that who wouldn't who wouldn't oh my gosh and who wouldn't find this difficult with how much sensory input how many demands how many responsibilities

how many plates were all swimming spinning how many balls were juggling in the air who wouldn't? Who wouldn't? Oh, my gosh. And yet, each person here deserves to arrive at the place that they're aiming for. They deserve to feel healthier in their body and their interactions. So that's also true. Well, feeling deserving, that's a conversation for another day. Our time has come to an end. Dr. Dina Karashefer, you're always so brilliant with the initial spark and impetus that had them sign up or sign up again. I wonder if people could lean in to the strength of this community that you've built. And I wish for people in the kindest, gentlest way to make themselves a little proud by being here at the end of this.

Cause boy, it feels good. It does. It does. I wish I could bottle it up and share it with people in the beginning. They'll just have to stick around and find out. Speaking of you'll be back with us, but in the meantime,

they can pick up your book, Feel Good Learning. And I know they're going to ask where to contact you. And do you have anything else going on? I know people, they're going to want more. So where can they find you? You're so lovely.

And the way that you support other entrepreneurs and people who are trying to make a go of it and do ethical business. So thank you for asking that, Gina. People can follow me at Awaken Learning because I offer lots of free educational content. It's my way of being in service.

So I work with learners, grade five, certainly through middle and high school, post-secondary, mature learners who are so bravely going back for second or third career I'm trying to be the Gina of the learning world low cost all welcome all learners and so I have parent circles that just started this week a number of your members have come I have a discount for for the for the living community at Livvy 2024 and it's meant to be an all access just come up it's like 30 minute meals but for learning strategies so procrastination

and studying so you can find me there and I have a very helpful and kind team ready to help any families who are like school's not going so well over in this household. We can help. I hear you. And I adore you because you just like me and all of our other amazing guests, you know how hard people are working. They are actually working really hard. They want to make change. They are open to do the things. And, you know, I've become very good at what I do. You are clearly very good at what you do and i think sharing that with people feels so good and at the end of the day that's really what it's all about um dr dina kara schaefer again you can find her at awakened learning uh on instagram or

her website as well uh sign up for her parenting class we what's the code again? What's that? What's the quote? Oh, the code. 2024. Livvy 2024. We appreciate that for sure. Thanks for joining us today and everyone else. Thanks for listening. Thanks everybody. We'll see you're not. Just workouts and classes to strengthen who you are. So no matter your era, make it your best with Peloton. Find your push. Find your power. Peloton. Visit Peloton at onepeloton.ca.