The Livy Method Podcast - Let's Talk Next Steps with Dr. Olinca, Dr. Deena, and Dr. Beverley - Fall 2024

Episode Date: November 26, 2024

Gina discusses next steps in this special panel discussion featuring Naturopath Dr. Olinca Trejo, Learning Expert Dr. Deena Kara Shaffer, and Clinical Psychologist Dr. Beverley David.If you are in the Fall 2024 Support Group, you can check out the full video here:https://www.facebook.com/groups/livymethodfall2024Topics covered:We're here at week 11! Let's talk about what went into this and celebrate our progress and accomplishments! Working with many emotions about the end of the Program and the in between by using the tools you have in your toolkit! Strategies for doubts and identities that may not serve our greater goals. How distractions can pull us away from the now. In pursuit of change: how change affects our self-identity. Staying in our personal power while still wanting to make change in our life. Our panel weighs in on "what keeps us up at night" when it comes to helping others. Dr. Beverley's HARD acronym: Hustle, Adapt, Reflect, Dedication. Dr. Olinca reminds us to value ourselves: I am worthy of this work and I can do it! Dr. Deena addresses the wish that in the face of new ways of doing things that work, that we take a leap of faith. Changing our self-talk: What's going on with me? Dr Deena: It's time to switch from input to integration. In January, bring a beginner's mind to the next round. Dr. Beverley: It's a time to reflect, review, and notice. In January, bring joy to learning again! Dr. Olinca: It's time to take the "floaties" off and swim on our own. A time to nurture new habits. Return in January ready to dig deeper. Continuing to show up for yourself is enough - and it matters! Our panel expresses gratitude for the community and how a gratitude practice can be a strategy for learning and growing. To learn more about the Livy Method, visit www.ginalivy.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm Gina Livy and welcome to the Livy Method podcast. This is where you'll have access to all of the live streams from my 91 day weight loss program. With a combination of daily lives, guest expert interviews and member stories, there is something new almost every day. Miss the morning live? Want to re-listen to one of our amazing guest experts? Well, this is the place. This podcast is hosted on Acast, but it's available on all podcast platforms, including the one you're listening to right now, Spotify, Apple,

and Amazon Music. This is an opportunity to become curious. To learn some things. How do we help you feel less overwhelmed so you can continue on your journey? Keep believing in yourself and keep trusting the process. Just be patient. What a treat today. The ladies are back with me. Dr. Beverly, David, Dr. Alinka Trejo, Dr. Dina Karras-Shafer in the house. That could be a real motivator. Yes, we can. Or you could motivator. Yes, we can.

Or you could do more. Yes, you can. It's weather. What happened? It's like the marvelous, like the Dr. Beverly, where dr beverly preceded you welcome to the dr beverly show okay first of all i have not seen well first of all can i just tell you what a treat what it was to spend time with you at the national women's show such a fun day um it was just so great to have you all in one place it was amazing it was a lot of really good hugs gina it's really lovely yeah it was it

was so nice to spend time with everybody like to meet not just your community but then because we don't get to spend as much time like together just you know chatting and like getting to know each other and it was it just felt so organic to be together it's so much fun and it just felt like uh we've known your community and you and each other for like our entire lives like somehow it was it was so much fun so thank you so much for everybody that came and also for inviting us and letting us be a part of like your fabulous world gina it's amazing oh. Oh my gosh. Well, I want to, I want to start, you're welcome. And thank you all for taking the time that you take to share with our community and share your knowledge and all that. And this is what this conversation is about today, because you're all, you're all in a way,

healthcare providers, you, you're out there to help people. You're all helpers of people. You want people to do well. You want them to succeed. And so in knowing our members, because you actually had an opportunity to meet many of them face to face, and there's nothing like it, honestly, just meeting real people who are just trying really hard to make real change in their lives. And so in knowing, I was thinking about you all this morning because 11 weeks into doing anything is pretty amazing. Like 11 weeks of, you know, someone focusing on their, you know, their physical health and wellness, 11 weeks and someone working on their mental health and wellness, 11 weeks and someone working on their life and learning and strategies and all of that, like that's a, that's a long period of time. So can you just share your thoughts on just someone being here still at this point, regardless of how they may be feeling? Who wants to go? Oh, I wonder. Um, I, well, I'm always impressed. I'm impressed when people turn up on day one. I'm impressed when

they turn up on day two. I'm impressed if they take a break and they join in on, on week three, wherever that person is, they're here and they are on board of the bus. And I hope that when you ask us that question, they're asking themselves that question to be thinking, how do I feel turning up and it's week 11? And sometimes we don't even we take time for granted. It just goes so quickly and slowly at the same time. You know, that feeling of where is this year gone? Some bits have felt really slow. Some bits have just sped up and somehow Christmas is around the corner um I've already been accidentally writing 2025 on notes I'm like no not yet not yet but really I think what a great question for everybody to ask themselves but still here at week 11 did they

think they would be how does it feel being here would they do it again? And the topic of today, the next steps. Yeah. Baba? Dina? I'm curious about what brought people in and what they were hoping, what they saw for themselves. And along the way, what emerged and how the why may have changed and what they have found out about themselves.

I find that riveting because when we challenge our patterns, when we disrupt the ways that we cope, the habits that we have, the rhythms of our life, when we so bravely walk into peering under the rocks to going about a day and a week differently than we've been doing, ooh, in that space, what comes up? And so to keep walking this walk, to keep journeying through this program with all the new revelations and insights and setbacks and frustrations, what an extraordinary thing. have unearthed tough things about themselves. I hope there is a kind of gentleness and a grace and a curiosity that's overriding any of like, oh, I did this week really badly or this. I didn't really do like none of us do any of it very well. We're just doing our best at anything that we're doing. But it's all the other stuff. It's like the mess

that's so interesting. So I hope people have found a way to orient towards that mess with compassion and deep interest of like, wow, look at all the weird stuff I do. Oh, that's so interesting. Yeah. Yeah. I think that success looks very different for everybody. I think that every single person on this panel and in this community is busy and you have a thousand different things that pull you know, it's so amazing that you learned all of these things, and you were able to apply new habits, and like, you change your relationship with food, and you did all of these things. And honestly, I think that sometimes it can just be that you just showed up for yourself, and you just tuned in, or that you gave up, and then you just said, like, no, you know what, I'm worth it. And I'm going to show up for myself again because I think that um simply showing up for yourself in one way or another and if that's the only thing that you did to keep you in this

program and you're still here or you're listening to this in three weeks because you had to take a break and you come back in is amazing and I think that that uh needs to be celebrated in whatever wins you had for the last 11 weeks, whether they were big or small and whether it was that you lost 120 pounds or whether it was that you didn't lose any, but you just stopped gaining, or you just listened to some of the lives or you connected with some other people and you felt less alone in this journey, or you just didn't give up like whatever it is. I think that all of it needs to be celebrated because I think that every action that you take even if that is just not giving up and continuing to show up and whatever that looks like for you today or what it looked like yesterday is one more brick that you're laying down for the foundation

of success and the new life that you want to create for yourself because that's what you're laying down for the foundation of success and the new life that you want to create for yourself because that's what you're here. Yeah. Okay. I mean, we're done. That was all amazing. It's all amazing. I want to talk, you know, obviously some people feel like they are so close to reaching their goals. Some people feel like they are so far away. Some people feel like they're so excited. They crushed this program. Other people feel like, oh my goodness, I feel like a failure. I'm not sure where to go next. How about this conversation with Natalia, feeling a bit sad and nervous that the program is almost done. Anxiety is kicking in for the break between programs, but also grateful I came this far. So we have people, there's a bit of a break coming up.

They're signed up for January, but they're feeling nervous. They're already future tripping or feeling nervous about the holidays. I mean, I think the same feeling comes in between groups, regardless of the time of year, whether it's in between the winter and spring or the summer and fall or where we're at now. So any, any advice for those feeling just a little apprehensive,

nervous, maybe feeling some anxiety. As ever, I'd say, write it down. I'd absolutely write it down and and well done already for catching the emotions and catching the feelings because sometimes they they're swirling and that was a that was really nice to notice that there were many emotions there was sad there was anxiety there was nervous um You said apprehensive.

And then we were able to find the thought like what, you know, I'm worried about. I'm thinking about the gap. I'm worried about Christmas. So that's when we want to think about what's the thought underneath the emotion, because some of it can be really lovely. We can be sad because we've really enjoyed it. We can be sad because we're going enjoyed it we can be sad because we're gonna miss seeing you every morning Gina and that's actually a really nice thing because then if she wants to come back she gets to see you again just like if university was breaking for Christmas you know that feeling of oh or if there's a different reason for the sadness we

want to unpack that we want to think what what are stories? What's the thought? And then if we're future tripping, you said, if we're fortune telling and we're thinking, what if this happens at Christmas or what if that, then let's see if we can put of things around to eat that's okay can you use this as a time to to practice can you use this as a time to notice your mindfulness and calmness around eating um this is a chance it's like it's like finally getting to drive on the motorway you utilize all of those things you've learned the the windscreen wipers, the changing lanes, whatever you need to do, it's all coming together. But absolutely take the time to think about it, write it down, ponder it, just like Dina says, with compassion and kindness and calmness. Very good. Nice. I'm amazed at the way that this program is always so much bigger than weight loss. And you're asking us to really give our tools, our go-tos, a real think and sometimes a

reconsideration. What do I turn to when I am stressed out, when I am exhausted, when I am overwhelmed? What do I do? And this seems to be this beautiful and honest, like how normal, how normal? I've been in a rhythm and the rhythm is going to change for a few weeks. So my guess is that this isn't the only time for this person or for most perhaps of the folks who are listening where we get worried about the future, where we get nervous about what we don't know, what isn't here yet. And so in that way, again, an opportunity to look at what tools we have. When we're nervous about something that we don't know, when we're nervous about the future, what do we do? Do we clam up? Do we stay in fretting mode? Does it kind of feel like the sky is falling and we become negative Nellies? Do our old ruts and patterns and habits

come back? What do we turn to? Because you've been asking us in the reflection, in tracking, in stress management to really consider any kind of mindfulness or contemplative practice. You've been asking us, you've been nudging us. This is a really good time to bring out any of those tools because Christmas isn't here yet. I know that when we go shopping, it feels like that because of the tunes. And there are Christmas trees now, which I don't get that actually, but that's fine. It's not here yet. We're still in week 11.

We're here. Yeah. So what a beautiful opportunity without any judgment or shame to be here where you actually are, which is still with two more weeks to go. And it's like, we get to see you in January, but there are individual days that we live until then so can we be in those individual days practicing our tools practicing our coping practicing our feel goods practicing the i'm worth it like the dr alinka like how are you taking care of yourself strategies instead of three weeks from now,

what's going to happen. But I'm here like today is just today. And this moment is right here and I'm nervous. And how do I tend to my nervousness in this moment when I feel that it arises? Yeah. I, I couldn't agree more with the ladies. I feel like we're done now that they've uncovered all of this. So I don't know how much more I can add. But I really, I mean, we're all in a different place than we were last year or with the last program, right?

Because you've gone through 11 weeks of gaining tools and shifting your mindset and building resilience and strength and confidence, or just honestly not giving up on yourself and saying like, no, man, like, I don't want to live like this. And so even if I couldn't give it 100%, I'm just going to show up for myself, right, which is what we're talking about. And I think the, the, you know, when you know better, you do better. And if you know, this is a very stressful time for me. And this is like, I usually when I get stressed out, I look towards food or I look towards that even just having that insight of this is what I do in times of stress, which is what Dr. Gina was talking about, right? That is so powerful because then you can build a strategy around it and say, you know what? The holidays are only a few days.

It's very stressful for me because I don't like my mother-in-law or I don't like this uncle and like creepy, you know, uncle Tom is like coming or whatever. You can build a strategy around that and you can navigate these challenges with intention and grace and kindness and calmness and from a different place that doesn't bring up maybe a lot of the broken strategies that we're here hopefully to fix or to change um and I think that you know in the in the last 11 weeks you've built this toolkit for success and navigating uh the holidays just like you navigate like you know the summer or navigating these things just takes maybe a little bit more um uh planning a little bit more strategy a little bit more thinking than it did before um but you have it in you you got this you know and I think that

at you just sometimes it's just about setting like healthy boundaries and again writing things down being more mindful I think that if we're just more mindful with this um there's nothing that you can't do and it's just a couple of days like you just show up for yourself right and if you want to enjoy Christmas dinner with your family and eat all of the things, like it's just one day. You don't have to let it like everything that you've built doesn't just fall apart because you had you overate the one day. You just, you know, enjoy it and you move on. And the next day we just go back to our routine and our strategy and everything that we've learned. So speaking of routine and strategy, let me let me let me frame it a different way.

What if someone is unaware of what they're doing in a sense? So let's say, for example, there are certain things that I can see people doing where I get concerned for them. I'm like, oh, Lord, I don't know that this person's going to make it. And there's so many things I want to say. And we've said so many things already here today. What are some of the signs that you see people showing that makes you nervous that they're not going to do the

thing? So maybe in this conversation, they can see that in themselves. So I'll go first. So for example, I'll see people do what I call planting the seeds of doubt. And so they don't pop into the group and ask questions. questions they make statements drinking my water is hard i you know i can't keep up with all the lives i'm so frustrated i like so so that i believe when they quit there's a trail of excuses well i couldn't watch all the lives and i couldn't do this and i couldn't do that and i couldn't do whatever and so therefore i quit in a way that i feel good about it. Planting seeds of doubt.

That's what I see. But when I see them doing that, it makes me nervous. Do you guys have any telltale signs of people that you're helping that you start to be concerned that they're just not doing it? You're nodding, Dina. Yeah. I mean, in the work I do as a learning strategist and i you know i'm meeting with students who are having a pretty tough time could be because there's adhd

or lds or not and often there is um it's like an identity has been built of like i'm not a very good student or i am good at this but not at this i can I can't do exams, right? It's final exams. I can't, I can't do exams. I'm not a math person. This is like really crushing, right? And I wonder for some folks, and I include myself in this, right? As a person who has been on this particular journey, my life too. So I'm in the community as well as speaking here. Has your identity shifted at all? How you perceive yourself? How you name yourself? Are you a person who can't do this, is never going to do this, is never going to be free of this? I would say that that that's like, um, that's a pretty tricky trap to be in, um, where the, the way that a person identifies isn't shifting. It's like, okay, well, I'm going

to do this for a while. I'm going to try this for a while, but like, I'm always going to be a person who diets. Um, and the other thing I would say, and I watched this again with my student clients is like the swinging from, and I don't mean this like with formal addiction necessarily. I want to be careful. I really stay in my lane as a learning strategist, but swinging from addiction. So I will notice the way that like, Ooh, look at that overworking creep up. Look at the way that I'm over, I'm overdoing it here. I'm overdoing it here. So really just watching the way of like all the ways that we avoid the thing is a worthwhile opportunity, a worthwhile inquiry. So it could be that I'm overeating or overexercising.

I put my hand up to both of those things in my life. But I also put my hand up as a person who is inclined towards overwork as well. It's the same impulse, but it just manifests in different ways. And so what's the antidote? Like, can I sit with the underneath discomfort that has me reach for those things? So those are the two things that I would just gently, like so lovingly ask people to notice is, are you identifying in the same way? Or is the way that you are articulating who you are beginning to show? I'm a person who walks when I'm stressed. I'm a person who loves the outdoors, rain or shine. I'm a person who actually loves nourishing

my body with healthy foods and keeping myself hydrated. I'm a mover. I love moving. I'm not a couch potato. I don't use the language of like, I'm stuck on the cat. No, I like, I feel vital. So identification and the other one is around the kind of whack-a-mole, addictive, avoidant kind of impulse is watching those two things, I would say. Woo. Okay. Some straight talk right there. I love it. I was, I was absorbed because that was really brilliant. Well, that was really brilliant.

It was. And I, can I just say this about this conversation? Cause we're having an, we're having an issue for people joining us live. The comment section is not working great in Facebook. There was an issue last night and today, and people are incredibly frustrated with that. And I'm like, this, this is, I get wanting to comment and chat to each other, but I think this is a conversation really that you want to sit back and listen. And it's, it's difficult because there's a lot I'm connecting with and my mind is just like whoa like this is

this is a this is a lot but in in a really good way and so I think this is the kind of conversation that you just you want to just sit and listen and absorb and be open to hearing right now I just think I think it's perfect timing for the comments I I think a lot of people need that, but they're trying to distract themselves. Totally. What do we do when we're frustrated? Like, what a great opportunity. What do we do? Are we just going to be like, if I refresh, if I get angry, if I, oh.

We can just rep a little and just be here, right? Yeah. Be here. Yeah. Sorry, Beverly. I didn't mean to no I I I was thinking that was I was very drawn in thinking yes identity is so powerful and potent and our identities change don't they as as we grow and as we evolve know, we've maybe been students and maybe sports people or a girlfriend or a boyfriend or a mother or, you know, whatever we are, it can really shift who we think about ourselves and what we think about others, because sometimes that can be a window into what we think if we're being a little bit judgmental to others. Sometimes we can go, oh, that's something I think, because I just did that to somebody else in my mind, in my internal voice. But noticing if we're still carrying worthiness that's related to external things

you know if our self-esteem is so tied up with externals like our job or our partner or our our weight then very quickly if something changes that self-worth might go down. So we want a very good question. Who are we? What do we identify with? What are our values? What are our beliefs? And do we think that we can do this? Or as Dina was saying, do we think, no, I'm just going to do it for a bit? It's a smart question.

Yeah. I mean, people come to you to make change in their health, physical health. I think that's people's go-to even when they want to make change in their lives. It's a physical change. They want to get healthier and they equate that with being happier and making real change. So you must find this in people's pursuit of change. Yeah.

You know, it's a conversation that I have with people all the time because I think often in this journey, we forget why we started the journey. Yeah. And we forget our purpose of wanting to change and to do. Because change is hard, right? Like it's way easier to stay in this like broken, you know, hamster wheel that we're in than it is to leave the hamster wheel and understand there's a whole world out there, right? Even if it's broken, it's familiar. familiar and and I I do see uh I I don't think that any of us um ever say this is easy this is hard but you can do hard and at the other end of heart is freedom and happiness and all of the things that you want for yourself and that we want for you too and I find that when people forget their why, they end up, it's easier for them to make excuses for themselves. It's easier for them to relinquish the power that they have and give it to somebody else. night and like you know my weakness is chips and then like we were watching tv and then like the wine came and all these things like you just you don't really even um see how it starts like

your power starts getting away from you and you just let it become somebody else's power if that makes sense because you just decide this it's just easier to just like not do it and habits are hard to form right like our brain is inherently lazy in your brain it's not just about willpower like your brain especially in times of stress is going to revert back to the habits that feel the most familiar sorry the most familiar and for most of us the most familiar is not drinking four liters of water and having the two snacks and doing all these things, but because we're, we're here to try and break out of all of the broken patterns. Right. And so I think the,

the other part of it too is that I find through like my, my patients or even the community's health journey, they tend to over-focus on like one thing. And for, you know, for the vast majority of us in this program is going to be weight and the scale. And if you give your power to the scale and you decide the entire value of this program and all the, my worth and all of the work that I've put into it is going to be that at the end of the program, I want to be X amount of pounds down. And that is not what happens. And you forget about the fact that your energy is better. You can do squats.

You're walking like longer. You feel lighter. You're not bloated. You're waking up and feeling like, okay, I can do this. Like your bowel movements are great. All of those things when you give the power away to that one thing, it's just so much easier to just be like, well, you know, it didn't work for me. Like I only lost a couple pounds and like it was just like not for me. And then you just kind of like slowly step away from all of the other things that made you or that got you to all of those non-skilled victories um in in for me as a clinician at least like I try to remind people I try I try to be that mirror for people all the time and so many of our community members don't have that mirror right to be like but what about

your energy but you said that your bowel movements were great but you said this which is actually where the app and all of the tools that you try to give people are so so great um because I think that it's so easy for us to forget what we felt like um when you feel better slowly because you know it wasn't like a dramatic change right it wasn't that you want you woke up one day and you were like this is amazing I have so much more energy like you just you forget what like what you felt like 11 weeks ago um and so I do think that it's so especially in this time of transition it's so important to um just be honest with yourself and write down like your purpose and your why and like you know that you're just so much more than like, maybe like the scale, maybe that was

your primary goal for starting this program, but there's just so much more to life than the number that you see on that scale. And hopefully through the last, you know, the 11 weeks or the 110 weeks that you've joined us for, whatever it is, we've given you a glimpse of what that can be. Yes. And thank you all for giving us that glimpse as well. Let me ask you a question, personal question. What, in the pursuit of helping people and wanting people to make change, do better, all of that, what keeps you up at night?

Like, what do you think about? Like, I know for me, I'm confident in people being able to reach their goals. I'm just, how do I get them to stick around? How do I get them to keep showing up? How do I get them to keep going? That's what keeps me up at night. What keeps you ladies up at night?

I mean, it's like for Dr. Beverly, who's sleeping like a baby. Cheeky monkey. I worry I worry that I because I probably hope that the people I work with in the communities I work with know that they have it in inside them that intrinsic internal locus of control they can do this and sometimes I worry can they do it without me that sometimes keeps me up because I because I can't I can't do it for everybody I can't be with everybody um it's the same it's the same reason I'm up at night when I'm thinking about my little boy I I'm trying to give him the tools for life and I hope that he is able to use them and I know he's going to

to mess up and learn because that's how we learn yeah but that's what worries me because we we wish we could take you from A to B um but just letting go letting go of that control and letting them do it and think you can and and it is hard that's that's that's the trouble life is hard we're going to have challenges and we've got to decide just like Alinka said what's the why you know because if we know the why the hard can be manageable you know whatever it is to think I want to do that and I'm and I'm going to put in the effort and I'm going to compromise or make decisions or say yes to myself and maybe no to other people and put in those boundaries but it is it it's hard work. You know, people that succeed have failed more often than the people that never tried because we have to, that's how we level up. You know, hard acronym, it takes hustle. It takes

adapting. It takes us to reflect and it takes dedication. That's how we need to address hard stuff. Can you say that again i'm gonna write that down i'd say there's a hustle we've got like a bit like the grit we've got a hustle stay determined work consistently toward your goal a adapt be flexible and open to change when the challenges arise when christmas comes when easter comes when anniversary comes, we've got to be able to adapt, reflect regularly, use whatever Gina has given you or anything else you can find to reflect a journal, regularly evaluate your progress. And just like Alinka said, not just the number, but your feelings, your vitality, your energy, your mood, your motivation, and then D, dedication. It requires commitment.

Fully envision what you want and persist. You know, you need to persist up that mountain. And that's hard stuff, but it's totally worth it. Wow. We all went quiet again. I know you're thinking. Yeah, I think, you know, I'm a big believer in taking a minute and just absorbing the information and just letting it sit.

And, you know, I'm already designing my big poster with heart on it in my... Alika, what keeps you up at night when it comes to helping people? What do you think about? You know, at the beginning of my, I mean, always felt, or I always wondered, did I do enough? Um, and it helped me at least to have a partner that was also in medicine. And, uh, he would always say to me, like, you can't be everything for everyone. And he really helped me change my mindset, honestly. And through, you know, I've been in practice for 15 years, like to really understand the fact that like our work ends when you finish this live, it ends when you leave my office and your, your work begins. Right. And I, I really, I think what keeps me up at night, honestly, is that very similar to Dr. Beverly, like,

I just wish that I could plant the little seed in everybody's brain that we come across that says, like, you can do it. And it is going to be hard, but you've got this. And you are worthy. And in a culture that, you know, really values immediacy and you want results and all of these things like that doesn't work. And that's what got you here. And it is those like very small changes that you think are not going to give you, you know, a big result that often have the biggest clinical impact. At least that's what I've learned in my practice and I think it's really I wish that people fully understood and like could be in our bodies and see what we see and understand that it is the progress over the perfection that really helps you win that race like it's not it's a marathon it's not like a hundred meter sprint but in in a culture again that you know values that immediacy you want it

to be a hundred meter sprint you want that's like to be able to run really hard really really fast in that 12 week mark just be like okay i'm done this is great like i lost all the weight i feel amazing and i think if we just understood that maintenance of your goals and like you being able to continue the living the the the amazingness that you've created for the last 11 weeks takes also a lot of work right it's not just getting here it's also the maintenance piece that takes a lot of work and help people feel connected to that work and connected to themselves and say like, you know what? I am worthy of this work. And I know that my life is going to have all of these ups and downs, but I am going to continue doing the work because I am worthy. I'm worthy of it just the way that my

kids are worthy of it, just the way that my work is worthy of it. And I have the power to be able to do that and reflect back on myself rather than giving all the power away and all my energy away. And at the end of the day, I'm exhausted because I've given everything to everybody and nothing is left for me. I yeah, I that's what keeps me up at night, honestly. It's that I feel so often, especially with my female patients, that we just give everything away and there's nothing left in us. And so if I could just get them to believe that there can be something left for them and that they are just as worthy as everything else in their lives, they can achieve whatever they want. Well, that hits deep. Even I'm like, thank you for that. I'm going to say thank you for that. It's hard, especially as a mom, when you're like taught that you need to give everything up and it's all about them. And then

you're like, whoa, what, like, what about what I'm going through? What about what I'm feeling? What about, you know, that's a lot. God, man, this is, it's hard to make change on top of just living your life. I think that's, that's the thing that's so hard is we're trying to make change regardless of what area of your life you're making change. And life is, life is hard at the same time. Dina, I see you.

I am. I am so touched to be in community like Dr. Beverly. There isn't an insight that you share that I'm not soothed by. And Dr. Alinka, I am ever uplifted by you. Like it's so genuine. So I, I, I am as much like, as I'm giving him all the way, like deeply sinking in and savoring, uh, your wisdoms. Um, the two things that keep me

up. So one is I'll just share, uh, like a tiny glimpse of where this comes from for me. So the first thing that keeps me up is the chance that people won't take the leap of faith. So, you know, I meet a lot of students, meet a lot of grade 12, grade 11, grade 12, like big transitional time, and then into post-secondary. And when they come and see me, it's often because their marks aren't going very well. And we'll talk like it's a very safe place to, you know, no one's going to judge you if you haven't gone to class like that. And so we'll talk about studying and they'll say, well, I study, and this is like 99% of all the people I work with. I study by rewriting all my

notes out i'm going to rewrite them and they're going to be beautiful and color-coded and everything and hours will go by dina but then i'll write the test and i get really like languishing marks well yeah because none of what you've done is actually studying it was comfortable you could have the tunes on it It feels pretty good. Whoa, those notes are gleaming. But it's not studying. And I will work with students and be like, you could actually reduce your time. Like there are real strategies that can help that are not right in your notes.

And it can be very difficult to take the leap of faith to do something different even if it is going to come with more ease and more success and i will have students sometimes in times of stress like i watch it happen i'm 30 year student aerospace engineer times got really stressed he had pulled himself out and i worked together he pulled himself out he's getting a's he's doing times of stress back to rewriting his notes it's like a comfort like a like a security blanket i don't have any judgment for that i get it we all have ours yeah but what keeps me up at night is that you know to dr like your point about like when we know better we do better is they're not they're not doing better, like the not trying something different. Because there's actually

like more than enough data about what works and what doesn't in the learning world, as in like, you're presenting us with this all the time, Gina, like here's things that will work. I mean, you have a shirk granted to do this. I mean, it's remarkable. But to not take the leap of faith. And again, I say that not as a human who always takes the leap of faith, not as a human who doesn't have my own habits that rear over and over. But that's what keeps me up at night, is that. And the other thing, and it's this idea that we are problems that need fixing yeah and i really struggle with that in the world that i come from right so like as a person who is

in an accessibility center for years on a campus so it's always meeting with learners who have the hardest times of things and i'm always brought into organizations to give talks when like things aren't going very well, it's really hard, community culture, like well learning, well leading. And the starting place for me is we like our beings are not problems that need to be fixed. We can create new habits. We can automate over time desired behaviors we can deeply tend to our well-being we aren't we ourselves are not problems that need fixing we're not problems to be solved yeah that's what keeps me up at night the language perhaps that people are giving to themselves the way that we speak to each other in our,

or speak to ourselves in our own minds, that's what keeps me up at night. We get this a lot with, and I'm so happy that I asked this question because I'm hoping that people will get a lot of insight in this. For example, people are always like, well, what's, what's wrong with me? Right. Rather than maybe like what's going on with me. And, you know, they're looking at themselves as, you know, not worthy, less than, they're broken, something's wrong with them, they're incapable. You know, I've been really big on the theme last week was really about really trying to really understand where you are right now, how you got here, where you want to go. And like, you really solely are

responsible for making the changes. We can all sit up here and share our advice and really want it really bad for people, but they have to be responsible for that. And I find there's so many things that get in the way of even giving people a fighting chance. So I'm hoping the words that you are sharing today are resonating with people. This is probably not the rah-rah, sis-boom-bah conversation people thought they were going to get. This is a thing you want people to know as they finish up this program or they want their takeaway to be? And what is the one thing you want them to know when going into and restarting the January program? So we can do what's one thing for right now and then we'll circle back

around. What do you want them to know as this program comes to an end? Or do, what do you want them to do? What do you want them to know as this program comes to an end? Or do, what do you want them to do? What do you want them to know? What do you want them to do? As we're frantically writing. It's like a test. You can't give three like perimenopausal women two layered question and be like, remember that.

And then you listen to each other with full focus. And five minutes post, forget it. I'm writing it down. I'm taking a minute, Gina. Okay, let's bring it down. The program's coming to an end. There's two weeks, less than two weeks left. What do you want people to know?

What do you want them to take away? What do you want them to do? What do you want them to think about? Give me something want them to do? What do you want them to think about? Give me something. I got it. I got it. One thing. Okay, go.

I feel like a question that's actually many questions, Gina. We're on. That's sneaky. That's sneaky. Okay. The first thing I would say is that there's a lot of input in this program. There's a lot of input, a lot of information, a lot of things to, to like absorb. Yeah.

And I would say that the one thing is that like, you might not actually need any more input. That integration and actually unlearning, like need to rise up at some point and like really take center stage. It may not really be that you need any more teaching for like more new information from you. I think you have it. I think you've got it. I think there's, there's enough there that you have listened to mold.

Great. So, so the focus can switch from like new information to a kind of like absorption, recalibration. What a beautiful way to spend the holidays of like what, what is the loudest or most resonant or truest, the most alive for me from this time on this journey with Gina? So like a switch from input to integration, I think would be a worthy endeavor. And I wrote my second one down. Do you want the second one about January?

Do you want me to wait? Sure. Give us your second. All right. My second one is, cause I think, you know, I think about the new people, but I also think about the returning people. I've been a returning person. So I, I really, I want to kind of speak to the returning people. Cause you know, you're, you're at the, you're at week 11 and I hope we get to see many or most of you again is this beautiful idea of beginner's mind if you come in as a know-it-all

um I don't I don't know that you're stacking the decks in your favor. But if you can come in with wide open heart and spirit, about like, hmm, what didn't I try of the 20 questions? When I think about all of the kind of pathways or the side trails, I think about Dr. Beverly and sleep. I think about Dr. Alinka and hormones. What side trail could I go down that I didn't before? So there's absolutely for me something around the practice of unlearning and then the practice of beginner's mind. Like those two things are, as we wrap up this, what's been unlearned or like this move from like this way receiving and now like integration. And this is we face January and hope to see everyone again is a beginner's mind, a fresh outlook for what you didn't hear last time or what you didn't emphasize in your own practice last time. I love that. I especially love about the end of the program. Like people

are like, what more can I do in the final two weeks? How about just wait a minute? You know, how about just take a pause right now? Maybe it's not more. It's just like really meet yourself where you're at, recognizing what you need to unlearn. Recognize what you've learned. Take a minute and be like, okay, look what I've learned. Look at the changes that I've made. That's part of that theme, right? Like let's get deep. Get to know yourself really, really, really well.

I love the idea. We have that whole fresh eyes concept, right? Like you're bringing a whole new body to the table physically and mentally into your next program. So you really want to honor that. How many Mel Robbins podcasts in a row until you're like, I think I need to reflect before I listen anymore. Right. I just need to take a beat and be like, Oh, it's a lot in a row. Good point. Good point. Yeah. Always learning, learning, learning, learning, never like really reflecting and yes. Got it. Okay. Love that. Who wants to go? Alinka, Beverly?

Dr. Beverly? I'll just copy whatever they say. I'll just like reframe it and make it, you know, sound like it was my own, but I'm just really here to like copy whatever they say. Stop. I really love that, Dina, input and integration. And, you know, that's what we even need for sleep. You know, when we learn something during the day,

we then need sleep for us to consolidate it. And we need sleep at the end of the day in order for us to learn it the next day. And so in psychology, we often call this like the dose response to be thinking continuously being alongside somebody doesn't give them the chance to try out their wheels. You know, holding that, you know, having the stabilizers on their bike. We want them to try this out so I think that's really a brilliant way to invite the opportunity for this break to to integrate to move out of the doing the doing of this and now noticing the being to think okay now I'm being this I'm going to practice this I'm going to see where it landed what bits have come, what bits have I forgotten about. And then I absolutely tingled when you said, when we come back, embrace the apprentice again, embrace the opportunity to learn again and listen with different ears.

Because like I know, I'm stubborn. I'm stubborn. As you were talking earlier, you know, with the studying techniques. Often we think we know best. And then when we think, but hang on, I wonder if there could be another way or something else that I could learn. Then we remain in growth mindset. We don't we avoid the fixed mindset. This is it and this is where I'm going to end. So just open the door and think of the possibility, but very brilliant, very scientific, evidence-based theory that Dina has just articulated beautifully. Use this time, reflect, review, notice um yeah and i know that this is a very powerful part of change to to give it a go um yeah thank you yeah great question well you know to add to that

this is where like during the break i'm always, people are going to be fine. I know they're going to do, I know what they've learned. They're going to be just fine. And some people really do really well, even continuing to move the dial and the scale in between the group. It's an opportunity to see what you've learned, to see what you got, to see where you're at, to see what you still need to work on. Right. And I think sometimes that's a gift. And we used to do this bridge in the gap group and we're not doing it. And I would kind of torn I'm like because it's just not allowing them the opportunity to see what they've really done um so I love that you I love that you framed it that way uh Dr. Alinka what else can I add to that come on no listen I think brilliant I think, yeah, no, but you know, I think that's what these beautiful, insightful, incredible doctors have said in you. It's like all true. I think the when we go into anything with a growth mindset, we go in also with a curiosity, right? Of like the what could be versus the what is. And you're just not the same person that you were 11 weeks ago. And that's a beautiful thing because you know different

things. You have this toolkit that maybe you didn't have before, or maybe you had it, but it didn't have as many tools inside. Right. And I think this again, this gap allows you to nurture your habits and to learn what maybe needs still to be worked on. Right. Like it is the OK. I always use the analogy of floaties, but it's like if I take your floaties away, like what happens? Can you swim on your own? Can you swim as fast? Can you like swim? But you just feel a little more comfortable with the floaties and like we happens can you swim on your own can you swim as fast can you like swim but you just feel a little more comfortable with the floaties and like we just put them back on like it really allows you to learn so much about yourself and maybe the work that you want to focus on with the next round right and I think every round is this um a beautiful opportunity that you have to dig deeper, to challenge yourself, to celebrate new milestones,

to unlearn something that you learned before, to learn new things that you've never heard about before. Man, it's an opportunity to just be and just ride the wave and just be like, you know what, I just need these flow rates, but I need to take a break. And I'm just going to, you know, I got to do the, I'm just going to float around and see where the current takes me. Like whatever that means for you. But I think that the most important thing ultimately is that you show up for yourself in

whatever shape or form that is and wherever it is that you are in that moment in time, right? Because this is going to change. And that is if you put in 120% in the last round, in this next round, you can only put in 25% because that's where you were at. That's still amazing. And that's 25% that you didn't have before. And maybe that 25% might give you way better results than the 110% because you went in with fresh eyes and the curiosity. And now your body doesn't have,

is not no longer stuck in that state of fight or flight anymore because of all of the work that you put in with that 110%, right? But this is, this is a process and it takes patience. But the one thing that you can control is you showing up and you not giving up. Yes. Yes. Yes to that. I love the floaties. I mean, maybe you take the floaties off and you realize, oh, I still need the floaties. Or maybe you take the floaties off and you can do like dog paddle, right?

And then that doesn't mean that you still don't need to learn, you know, front crawl or I don't know the rest of the swimming things, but I picked the one sport that I know nothing about that I like floaties. Yeah. Sounds great. Yeah. And that is, that is, and again, that comes down to life is hard, right? And sometimes you can do all the things. Sometimes you can just do some of the things, just continuing to show up and not giving up on yourself is enough. Because, you know, our members have access to the, you know, kind of experts like you who are not just sharing your knowledge, but your guidance and your passion. And you're on a mission to really actually help people make change and i'm just so grateful for you for another showing up another group honestly um so thank you thank you uh before

we go you guys want to address our member what do you got to say to our members i know we already said a lot but we have two minutes final words i've got to say what Dina said about studying really resonated and hopefully if people absorb it for the relevance in the group their time on task and the effort you know when we think oh we've only worked hard if I've worked hard and I've neglected everything else and I must just sit and study or I must just worry about food all of the time and or else I'm not doing it yeah actually that change of huh I'm not worrying about it as much and it and it I'm actually spending less time on it but I'm actually seeing better results it's it's really tangible it's really exciting because I think when we have grown up in diet culture or even with insomnia or anything that we're focusing on, must focus on sleep or must focus on food.

Yeah. It goes wrong. You know, we're just consumed and the stress level goes up and the enjoyment goes up and all of this automatic wonderfulness disappears. So, yeah, really, really lovely. Lovely. Try to make it happen. I did that in my business. I took on the sole responsibility of helping hundreds of thousands of people lose weight. And then my company and you know, my team and all of that and I wanted to work so hard that I forgot why I love doing it and the passion. And that's, you know, now I'm just, okay, let me show up. Let me get focused on what I'm here to do, which is how people try to get across that finish line at

the end to reach their goals. And you do, you get really fixated and stuck on trying to make it happen, you know, rather than just kind of being, enjoying the ride, you know, being self-reflective, figuring out, well, was there a better way to do this or being open to change and then recognizing how much I've changed. All of a sudden I've made all this change and I'm just like, whoa, I'm still in a place where I'm like expecting I need this and I need that where I'm actually fully capable myself. What? When did that happen? When did that happen?

My goodness. Okay, ladies. Dr. Alinka, Dina, final words to our members or to us? I got a lot out of this today. Honestly, maybe this is not what is expected to say right now, but I just want to thank people for being here. And I want to thank every single one of our members for giving us a chance to be part of their journey. Because there's so many programs out there and there's so much noise. Man, even about like hormones, I don't want to get started but I just like you know there's that Instagram influencer that says that you can only eat bananas

and like lose weight and feel better like there's so much noise and so many things that you could be doing and you chose to be with us and I think that is the most beautiful gift um for me as a practitioner that you could ever give me like allowing me to be a part of your journey and believing in me or in us in the similar way that we believe in you. And we, every single one of us and of your team, like we are rooting for you. And all we need is for you to also root for yourself because we know that you can do this and we believe in you. And somewhere along the way, I think, you know, and I, I didn't really understand that I don't have kids.

And so I don't really see this, but my best friend has a little one. And she's about two and the way that this little human believes that she can do anything. And she looks at herself in the mirror and she's like, I am the prettiest toddler that has ever walked this earth and the confidence that she has in like the fearlessness in which she moves through the world I think is such a beautiful thing and I I don't know where along the way we start getting uh the the the doubt and we you know the seeds that um sometimes uh tell or allow our brain to tell us stories that are not true but i i really truly believe that every single one of us has the power to change we just have to take that leap of faith and do it and believe in ourselves. And we've all

got it within us, all of us. But thank you for letting us into your homes, into your hearts, to your ears, to everything. I don't know. I think Dr. Link is the closer. I can let her close today. We can let her close today we can let her close today by beverly and then let's bring it together but i i i genuinely would be remiss if like gratitude is the is the ending place for me so when i think about a kind of ecosystem of of gratitude is first in each our own bodies that we are healthy enough to do this, that you are still alive and breathing in the midst of life's challenges and outright catastrophes, that you are in a breathing body. Even though it might have illness or injury, all kinds of brokenheartedness,

like there is a breathing body here and you are trying in your own ways to like tend and nourish and listen. And then when I think about outside of that, the gratitude I have to learn and laugh with you, Dr. Elinka and Dr. Beverly, like what maximum joy was too sweet after the women's show, like, okay, text me when you get home to make sure that your home is safe. Okay, next time. I kind of want to blow off my dad. I'm meeting him for dinner, but like I kind of want to hang out with you guys. Okay.

So, and then when we go outside from that is to like be alongside this community. You used the words Dr dr link are rooting for it's this i use this language like to be all the way so rooting for a community of people um and to be fully on side and alongside so i hope that there is like a a felt sense of that and then of course gina like you are why we're here what an extraordinary inclusive ethical leader um i am i am continuously um touched by the way that uh you are like i'm just like all these different pathways to success for people so i stand in awe and deep appreciation um So thank you, Gina. And thank you, everybody. Oh, gosh. Well, wasn't this lovely?

Wasn't this great? This was perfect. This is exactly, I don't know about you all, but it's exactly what I needed today. I am so here for it. Like I said, I adore each and every one of you. I'm already looking forward to our conversations in the new year with the new program.

To everyone who had the pleasure of joining us live, thank you. Thank you for being here. Thank you for putting your faith in the living method. Thank you for being part of our community. Thank you for listening. I hope everyone has an amazing day. I hope you ladies, if I don't see you, have a great holiday. Excited to be back and do it all over again in the new year.

Have an amazing day, everyone. Thank you.