The Livy Method Podcast - Let's Talk Past Diet Experience and Expectations with Dr. Beverley David

Episode Date: April 4, 2024

In this episode, recorded on January 16, 2024, Gina talks about past diet experience and expectations with Dr. Beverley David. Dr. Beverley is a Clinical Psychologist registered with the College of Psychologists of Ontario. She also holds a Ph.D. in Sleep Research (Insomnia) and a Masters Degree in Health Psychology.You can find the full video hosted at:https://www.facebook.com/groups/livymethodwinter2024Topics covered:Introducing Dr. Beverley David, Clinical Psychologist, talking about what it does to you when you spend a significant portion of your life dietingWhere should you start with a new diet? Returning members, where to start?The Stages of Change - Pre-contemplative stage, Contemplative stage, Action stageHow do you stay in the Action Stage? Let's normalize moving forward and backward through The Stages of ChangeFail: First Attempt In LearningIndividuals who set modest expectations are more likely to follow through on their goals, keeping expectations realistic Why do we do things when we know how to do better?Looking for non-scale victories, where is your focus?Expecting fast results can lead to disappointmentSlow down and be intentional to catch your thinking traps to work through self-defeating behaviourWanting something so badly but only focusing on the scaleHow do your past and childhood shape your personality?Why are you the way you are now? We can struggle for so many reasonsMaking Space for relearning to follow through and lose weight?Feeling guilty about prioritizing yourselfThis is a decision, so every day, you need to stay engagedImplicit memory and explicit memoryGetting started with this process - Slow and steadyWhat is coming from Dr. Beverley in the next 3 monthsReturning members - fresh eyes and continuing to build on what you have learntSleep group with Dr. BeverleyPractice PAUSE - Practice, Airway, Underneath, Senses, Evaluate/ExhaleTo learn more about The Livy Method, visit www.ginalivy.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm Gina Livy and welcome to the Livy Method podcast. This is where you'll have access to all of the live streams from my 91 day weight loss program. With a combination of daily lives, guest expert interviews and member stories, there is something new almost every day. Miss the morning live? Want to re-listen to one of our amazing guest experts? Well, this is the place. This podcast is hosted on Acast, but it's available on all podcast platforms, including the one you're listening to right now, Spotify, Apple,

and Amazon Music. You're going to have this ability to now reframe. Allow yourself time throughout the day to stress the fuck out. The thoughts and the feelings and the behavior cycle can start changing. Good morning. Happy day nine of the program. Dr. Beverly David is joining me today. She's a clinical psychologist. You are also a well-known sleep researcher and people are itching to talk about that, but we are going to have Dr. Beverly come back and join us, I think like next week or the week after and talk sleep. But today we are talking about what it does to

you when you've spent the last 20 years of your life dieting, being fearful of foods, being successful and then getting it all back you know just we're going to get into it we have uh the next five hours to talk about this because you always make me laugh oh that caught me off guard you didn't work your whole day to spend with us? That's it. Cancel my day. Hello, Gina. Happy New Year. It's lovely to see you. Happy New Year to you, too.

We're off to a bit of a late start. We had some technical issues, and people in the comments are like, thank goodness. They were worried there for a second. But we are here, and we are here for this conversation. You've been with us for a while now. Yes. You are familiar with the living. We're the lucky ones. You understand the Libby method. You

know how hard people are trying to really reach this goal that some people have been trying to lose forever. So where should we start on this? So people are starting a new diet. They're excited, our new members, right? Who don't know anything about us yet. And then of course we have to add on, our returning members who are back for another round and perhaps the feels that come with that. So where should we start with this? Well, I did a bit of homework for once, Gina. You'll be happy. I was looking at the questions that were coming in and they were brilliant. And then what I didn't realize was one of your wonderful um program specialists wrote me some lists last night to just amalgamate all the questions that

were coming and as you say they were they were the different sort of sets there were new people that were excited to be thinking okay how do I do this how do I do it well how do I set myself up for success and how do I not let it end in the way many of the previous diets have ended and then we've got the returners some of them are optimistic and positive and knowing that this is a lifelong journey of of a new relationship with food but then there's the group that say why am I back here you know that sort of have that question of you know does this mean I'm that question of, you know, does this mean I'm failing? And of course, it doesn't mean we're failing. But I don't know,

where should we start? So it's a new year. For a lot of us, it's new year. Of course, we've got Chinese New Year coming up in February. But new year often starts new starts, new goals, new intentions. And some people will have been itching to do this for longer than they thought. And then it's just, maybe it's come into their feed, or somebody's told them or recommended do the Gina diet. And here they are. So we're at the beginning. But before we get to the start, there's always been things going on in the background, you know, that sort of niggle that I want something different or, you know, I'm ready for change. And psychologists love a drawing. And we often use, we might use a model called the stages of change. And so the

stages of change is a diagram that just illustrates how we get to change a behavior and what actually happens. And it's quite normalizing because we move through it and backwards, we oscillate. So to begin with, we might not even know that we want to change anything. So that would be called the pre-contemplative stage. We're not even contemplating anything. Because people want change, but they don't want to change. They might not know it yet. So five months ago, somebody might not have known that there was anything to change there.

They might not have known it was possible, and it might not have crossed their mind. And then perhaps they saw a friend having a show in success with the program, or perhaps they got to Christmas and they thought okay next year I want things to be different so this little seed of hmm I wonder comes and we move out of the pre-contemplative to suddenly contemplative I'm thinking that I might want to change or I'm thinking I might want to take something up, like a finally forever program, or I want to start reading or I want to stop smoking, whatever that is, suddenly there's the contemplative stage. And it's really important to then feed that bit of us to think, okay, if I'm

in the contemplative stage, I want to do something with this. And so if somebody comes to me and they're contemplating, I'm going to be quick to say, okay, let's look what's out there. Let's see when we have to sign up for it. Let's see if we should, you know, do you want to purchase the book or are you going to use the app? Let's start front-loading our resources so that we can hold on to this really exciting stage of change. So then from the contemplative to the actual action, now I'm in the action stages, I'm doing it. And so well done, everybody that are here, because you're all doing it. It started. Okay. And now we've got to get you to stay here for a while. Because once we're in

the action stage, it's difficult to begin with because it's learning a new habit. It's changing some ways. Like you've talked already, it's facing things that might have, you know, tripped us up in the past. Working out the whys. What are we doing this for? What is our goal? Visualizing how we want to feel, you know, right now in the middle at the end, because what we want to do is move through action. And eventually, and you would name your your follow group,

follow up group perfectly the maintenance phase. So maintenance is when we've got the hang of it. Okay, so now we're not in action, we're, we're able to just do it. Now, this doesn't mean we don't move backwards. Because just as you say, things happen and we can move backwards into, oh, I'm pre-contemplative again. I've forgotten. And then we move through and through, but we'll never forget. This is the key. We'll never forget the things that we need to do to start again. And it's all right. We just proceed, you know. This is so wise that, okay, so maybe I have done all the diets, very typical. And then I, the body positivity movement came and I'm like, I'm just done with diets. I'm just going to love

myself the way I am, which you should anyway, at any size, that's a whole other conversation. And you're just been given up, right? You're just like, okay, diets don't work. Cause that's really where a lot of people were. They've done all the things. And that's what I love about this program that it's different. So then you decide, okay, I think I might want to give it another go, right? That's why I say like, you have nothing to lose, but wait, we want this to be the last diet you ever do. We, we totally get that history that people have with dieting. And then you decide to do it. And there, that excitement is there. And then you start doing it. And obviously the goal is to follow through and finish and reach your goal. But I let's

normalize the, the going back into the, I'm not, did I really want to do this? I'm not sure I need to do this. Should I do this? Do I need to do this? Like that? I think that's why it's so easy for people. And is that a more familiar feeling? Because people are so excited. They know what they're signing up for. They know it's going to take them time. They have to know they're going to have to make change. And yet a couple of days, a week goes by and some people are like, I don't know, I'm so disappointed. And why isn't my heart getting up and why I'm not sure about this. And I'm just like, so you normalize going back into that contemplative state. Is that what you're saying? You move back and forth. Oscillation, you know, whether, whether something happens and maybe we don't feel very well, we have a cold or a flu that's niggling, we'll drop

those new things because they're the newest things that we've just developed. You know, the first thing's in, sorry, last thing in, first thing out. So suddenly we go back to our old patterns. But it doesn't mean we can't, like you say, reset. Even the other day when you were explaining how the app works and saying, you know, you can be on whatever week you need to be on. That's really normalizing to say it's okay. It's okay to have had to look after your mom or your dad while they're not very well. And then to think, okay, yikes, I've come off the wheel a little bit. Well, reset, restart, and I go but don't try not to stay in there then I failed I can't do it now um I've missed I've missed the boat they've you know they've raced ahead you're

still in it you're still participating um and and a lot of people use the word fail well I was reading I don't know something a few weeks ago and it was really nice because it said fail could mean, you know, first attempt in learning. If you thought of the acronym FAIL, it's all right. We learn a lot. We think, OK, what went wrong there that then blocked my success? And how could I maybe move that block or break that block up a little bit so that I'm going to set myself up for success okay when you speak about why do people you know when we start fast you will have heard me um before talk about the British Journal um of psychology talking about

those people that have modest expectations do much better in exercise and fitness programs and wellness programs, any wellness, than people that set their expectation way up. Because then they're going to have further to fall and think, I failed. I didn't reach my goal. So we want to not set it up here. We want to be doing it day by day, methodically with the process that you've put out and try and keep those expectations realistic. Is that sabotage? Because we want people to be hopeful. We want them to like, I'm telling them, you can do this.

You just have to show up, do what you need to do day by day, put that time in, you will get there. But you're saying that people who don't set the bar so high have a, have a, it's not easier for them, but they're more likely to follow through on their goals. Is that, is it pressure? Is it sabotage? Like, what is it? Like I love, I dream big. I set the bar high, mind you. I guess I do put myself through some serious rigmarole sometimes. That's probably unnecessary. But what is that? Is that sabotage? Is that fear of success, fear of failure? What is that? Why can't we set the bar high? Very interesting. So sabotage would be deliberately destroying or damaging or obstructing something so I don't believe people deliberately

do it although in the notes and in the in the comments that I was reading some people do think they're doing that why did I do that when I why did I do that when I why did I do that when I did I do that when I imagine if we're telling off a little person the the worst thing we say is you knew better you know because we're just shaming them we're shaming them just to find out well why what happened there that made you you know choose this or choose that so when we think of why people don't manage and give up quicker you know and just throw the towel in perhaps often they're expecting fast results. So they are setting themselves up to think, I want this immediately. I want to be able to see

change immediately. Well, you set everybody up at the front end to say, there's non-scale victories we're looking for. This is really important because that's going to be different from from other other diets perhaps they they've done that they're going to be looking for other things is is the energy improved do our skin does our skin look clearer our relationships um improving is our focus there are we sleeping better are we just you know replacing things in our foot like what are the wins that aren't necessarily that because we have to start by building the house at the foundation we don't start with the roof we don't put the chimney on first we start the foundation first floor and up we go so fast expecting fast results often then leads to disappointment we might not already believe

in ourselves we're going to have the schemers that we'll talk about in future weeks, the schemers that we believe, you know, have developed. Do we believe in ourselves or are we carrying the belief? I never follow through anyway. I won't be able to do this. And where do those beliefs come from? Who told us, you know, don't bother, you know, you won't, you won't succeed? Or how, where did we start those stories? And so often we'll get stuck in the past. We'll start thinking, well, I didn't succeed then, why am I going to succeed now? But our past doesn't mean that it's going to be our future. We can change. We really can. And this is why we need five hours for this conversation. Let's talk about... It's so true. Well, that's why I talk. Weight loss is less about what you're eating and when, more about issues, associations to food, how you use food to cope, your habits, your beliefs, your past traumas. Let's talk about, you know, those expectations right now,

because the diet industry makes us believe that we can lose 20 pounds in three days. It makes us believe all sorts of things that, you know, fruit is so bad. And you know, you need to eat fruit, you're going to gain weight that fat, oh my goodness, like, you know, the whole low fat, no fat era, people are terrified of eggs, they're terrified of nuts. They are, you know, fluctuations even on the scale are so normal. And yet people think that, you know, after they work hard and do all the things and they actually see that scale drop when it goes back up because you had salty food or your body sore from a workout or you didn't sleep great, which is just not weight gain, no matter how many times I tell them, they're so disappointed

and they're sad. I've gained all my weight back. We're like, no, you haven't. But like, that's like ingrained in them to believe if the scale goes up, I've gained weight. If I hit a plateau, it means this is no longer working for me. If I don't lose, you know, 20 pounds in three days, you know, I'm doing something wrong. How do we, how do we move past all of that? How do we unlearn all of those things? We know the diet industry has not been great for our mental health and wellness, not mention our physical health and wellness, but how do we move past that? Yeah, this is a different kind of program. This is everything those diets are not, but that doesn't mean that people aren't like

still functioning in that headspace. I think we've all, people will always hear me say, we've got to slow down. We've got to slow down and be intentional. Because if we're able to slow down, we will be more likely to be able to catch our thinking traps. And our thinking traps would be that they'd line up with some of the things you just listed, because that would be a good example of an all or nothing thought. You know, I'm succeeding or I'm not, you know, black and white thinking or a jumping to conclusion thought. You know, if if this, then that, you know, if I've plateaued, then I failed or I can't, you know, I'm not going to carry on or this isn't for me.

So if we start noticing, wow, I'm these thinking traps are really powerful. I go to that really quickly. We need to think, is there an alternative possible solution, not solution, alternative explanation? And just like you teach us, is it not moving because we are getting used to the new normal? Does it look like we've gained weight, but is it because we have drunk more or we were very hot that day? Or, you know, the whys instead of the jumping to a different, like our own made up solution because then if we do that we know that we have these you know unfortunately just you know self-defeating behaviors that come once we start thinking that way because if we if we have an all or nothing thought then we're going feel you know disappointed or um a failure and then that that sort of feeling leads us to do

something okay i'm not gonna i'm not gonna watch your lives i'm not gonna open the app um it's never gonna work and those those sort of scripts are definitely gonna lead us to then try and self-soothe ourselves because our human body wants to feel better yeah many of us many many of us will have developed ways to feel better that might not soothe that you know actually suit our needs you know we'll go out and we'll i don't know drink too much or we'll go out and sleep with the village like we do these like extremes, but of course we start doing behaviors to try and block out feelings, whether it's eating, smoking, drinking, deprived. Yeah. I hear so many people who are like, oh, I lost the scale move for me. And then,

so I went out and celebrated by eating all this stuff. And then they're upset because the scale is up the next day, right? Or they like, they just, they, they want it so bad. And then the minute they believe that they can achieve it or they want to do something different and then they realize this is something different. Then they're just like, okay, well it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Like they want it, but they don't believe that they're going to be able to do it based on what's happening or not happening on the scale a lot of times, rather than actually seeing what's going on around them. And then they end up not following through when we know that if you continue to show up and you work through these fields and these things and continue to do the

things that you need to do, you are going to get there. How do we convince people to keep going? Well, you know, I am a big advocate for the here and now, but also our past. Our past to try and think, okay, how did we develop? Who are we? What are our predispositions? What's our temperament and so when to to grow into what we'd say is a well-rounded psychologically you know sound person we needed certain things you know we needed well when we see sort of behaviors that come in or personalities that come in we want to think where did they develop? You know, so basic safety, we need that when we're little, of course we do. Now, if we don't get basic safety from our caregivers, it's going to lead to certain things when we're older, whether it's fear of abandonment or whether we mistrust people, okay, because if people didn't

treat us well, so if we even mistrust ourselves, because remember, we can externalize this or we can internalize it. I'm going to mistrust that I'll follow through, okay? We also need connection with other people. If we didn't have connection with other people, when we're older, we might be emotionally deprived a little bit. We might find socialising difficult. If we didn't learn autonomy when we were young, when we were trying to think, okay, I can make decisions myself and go out, then we might be very dependent as adults or very vulnerable. So we want to be looking for what was missing and how does that turn up? If we didn't have self-esteem instilled in us, you can do this.

That's where those beliefs of defectiveness and failure start coming. If we weren't taught self-esteem and modeled self-esteem, that's going to be hard as an adult to believe I can succeed. And if we weren't allowed to speak up and have self-expression, then often either we'll allow people to control us or we'll have our standards so high because people told us that's not good enough. You know, I remember my mum saying, you know, she'd come back with, you know, a 98. And we've heard this story before. And my grandpa would say, well, where were the other two marks? If you've got, if you were taught that's never good enough, then when we're an adult, it's going to turn up. And then if we were treated so, we were spoiled as a child,

we will also then have unrealistic entitlement. You know, this should be easy for me, the world, you know, and that's so it's in it's every realm, we want to think, okay, wonder what I've had during my life that turns up now, why am I the way I am now you know and then get simple get simple and think what what do I want to feel like what's holding me up and let's let's just take every day at a time because it takes a it takes a long time to gain a lot of weight so why would we think it's going to take no time at all to lose it? You know, it's not like cutting our hair, you know, we can grow it and grow it and then it just can't just cut it. Right. I mean, trying to figure out why I'm defective, Vicky, I know what you're saying. I would love to try to figure out why there is a struggle.

So what you basically explain is for so many different reasons, people can really struggle with doing the things that they need to do. And which is, we know this, this is, I mean, this is why it's like psychologists like you exist to help us work through these things, to be able to do better, function better, feel better, all that, you know, but then I'm thinking of this, and it's okay, it's great to figure out why you are the way that you are, right? Like, why do you keep doing this? Why do you keep doing that? Why do you you know, what is that about? Because that's because you got to figure out where you came from, and where you are now and who you are to figure out what you want and where you need to go. I'm a big believer in that.

But then you add in dieting. Oh, my gosh. Is there any hope for us? Because the disconnecting from dieting, right? Like not being in tune, starving yourself, depriving yourself, berating yourself, and then being successful at losing by restricting and, you know, and then gaining it all back. Plus more, which would seem uncontrollably because it's just those, you were never going to sustain that weight or, or being a, being like, really

like you're a smart per, I'm a smart woman. I know what I need to do. Yet this is something I've consistently failed at over and over. So there's a lot going on there. So do we unpack this in the moment? Do we, do we take time and like you suggest, go back and reflect on our diet history? Like, how do we, how do we, I think, how do we fix this? How do we change this? How do we, how do we get in the right headspace to follow through and lose our weight? The word diet is, is difficult, isn't it? It's triggering for lots of us for different reasons, because it's become associated with those words, restriction and berating you know and so first of all it's to think this isn't that it's it's not a diet it's a healthy way of life it's a journey where you're

actually learning relearning which means extinguishing because we've got to extinguish things to relearn and make space for relearning. Extinguish old beliefs and old schemas and old triggers to think, OK, what I'm doing now is just looking after myself. Why have I not learned how to look after myself? Did I see my mum and dad look after themselves or did they not? Did they look after me? Did they believe I should look after myself? Because that's all it is. It's looking after your health by prioritising yourself. And that doesn't mean you're neglecting your family. It's actually that you're going to hopefully have longevity and be there for longer and bring a better you to your family.

That's so hard. So many people feel guilty doing that. Well, because this pushback isn't there. We know that with any change that those people that have got used to us a certain way won't like it. Just like you said the other day, if you've always been the funny friend or the fat friend or what are you now we see that even when people um you know are thinking about going to alcoholic anonymous or ca or something like that what am i now if i'm not that person that they think that they are when they're there being funny and jovial and you know but it's about extinguishing it and starting in and trying um but first of all it's that diet it's the word diet to think this isn't that and to trust you

when they when they hear you speak every day that it's not it really isn't it's just it's a gentle redesign of let's look at what our body needs let's keep it fed let's look nourish it let's nurture it and let's see what a body that receives nurture and care and love can do because that's when we turn up you know that's when we thrive um and we'll probably learn stuff about ourselves like well we might by slowing down notice oh wow i might have a gluten intolerance oh wow i've noticed now that i do seem to have a um a reaction to dairy because we're being careful and we're being intentional you know because some of us don't realize that we've just been on autopilot and that we can change some

things or we're taught that it's selfish to think about ourselves, prioritize ourselves, like want to, even it's selfish for us to want to make change in our life. Like there's a lot of feels to overcome just to start doing that. Yeah. Everybody can be very resistant to change because change is hard, you know, and that's it's important to know that that this is a decision. And every day we have to then make a decision. We're presented with a choice and we have to stay engaged with it because if we think it's just going to happen we're not going to

succeed you know we have to we have to prepare and we have to make a plan so that we do get there yeah because i there's a comment here though there's so many good comments in the comment section you guys um but i love the Unfortunately, most of these patterns are unconscious programs, and we just can't think them away. So what I know you're going to I know we're not going to be able to work through all of this. And it's come this conversation today is really about highlighting all of the things and the fields that might come up just to give you perspective on it's so much more than what you are eating and when and Dr. Beverly is going to come back and you're actually going to give us some tools for working through a lot of this but what would

you say to that it's unconscious and we just we can't think it away so then yes our brain is very fast very very fast and we often don't catch what's going on we might not even know it there's two types of memory implicit memory is memory that happened before we even had vocabulary so when we were tiny tiny little little babies things were already happening to us you know whether we had a sensitivity to milk that would have felt terrible for a little tiny baby but they wouldn't have known why and that would may have been the start of you know somatic which means body feelings you know and then fast forward and perhaps if then we if we are able to speak to our family of origin to find out what was i like when i was little did i like food was I fussy did I have pain did I have constipation

did I have runny bottoms like how was what was our relationship back then because that can even map into like oh this is interesting I I don't like this or I eat and I you know because perhaps you know what twins have been set you know been separated because one twin might have had an intolerance to milk. And that is, you know, can be very difficult. But that's really interesting when they're identical twins to then see, ah, interesting. The twin that struggled to feed then goes on to perhaps have something, a difficult relationship with food and why. So it's really important to think back. So implicit memories we don't know about, but stuff turns up in our body, our feelings, our physiological arousal, explicit memory is when we can, we know it.

This, you know, when we think I remember when I was changing in at the swimming gala and somebody said something mean, and I remember it. I remember suddenly being body shamed and that then being the thing that stayed with me or the uncle or the aunt or something like that. Yeah. And we're going to talk about body image and we're going to talk about all that in future discussions. Let's bring it back to, it's week one of the program. Is it keeping the excitement going? Is it continuing to be hopeful?

Is it like, if I'm feeling like I'm a failure, do I take time now to go into that? Or do I just kind of push that away and just focus on the things that I can do? So many people struggling with if I'm having a hard time doing the things I'm not doing perfectly, my body's not responding the way I want it to respond, which of course it's going to, which is probably not on your timeline. So, so what do we do with that? I mean, there's like, you know, we have to unlearn, you know, past diet language. We have to work through our habits. There's working with our relationship with food. There's, there's so much to this. So what can you, what can we talk about that's going to help people get through week one?

I'd say, I'd say we have to, we have to be patient. Like we have to think of this as putting on the braces, whether it's Invisalign or traditional braces. It's a, you know, we've waited for it. It's finally the day that they're putting them on. You know, we know where we want to get to. And it might even be the dentist, you know, the orthodontist might say it's a two-year plan.

Okay, slow and steady wins the race. But we have the vision. We have this idea of what we want to look at the end. Probably the dentist shows us this is how, this is what we're aiming for. And we trust the process. Okay. And we go through that stage of sort of uncomfortable, where our gums hurt a little bit and our teeth feel like they're stretching, but we persevere because there's a bigger plan. You know, just like thinking I want to get couched to 5k. We're not going to run the 5k the first day because we're going to hurt ourselves and it's not going to happen. Slow and steady. So I want you to, you will always hear me

say this, talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend or your little person in front of you. Patience, slowly, kindly, one step at a time. And I'd say, don't overthink it yet. I know I'm here week one. I don't want to worry anybody. I'd say just start. Just start. And it is progress over perfection. It doesn't have to be perfect. You're learning. If you learn one thing from Gina, that's great. You're coming out with one thing learned. If you make one friend through Gina, you've gained one friend. Whatever it is, but just follow through. Follow through, watch, learn, think, wow, okay, I've realized I really don't drink enough water i'm going to adjust this i've realized i i don't eat until the afternoon my body's probably really hungry i'm gonna start adding in a morning a morning snack and start to allow my body to have substance you know because we can't our brain doesn't even work if we're dehydrated and we have no calories to use up, you know, to think and to feel and to do. And really do think about what do you want

long term. It's not a short race. It's investing in your future. It's investing in the teeth you want and takes time. I love that because right now the focus for people is the basic food plan. That's it. You're going to have to work through a lot. There's a lot we're going to talk about. There's a lot you can do that you're going to need to do to get you there. It's going to be a journey for sure, which we're going to try to make as painless as possible and as fun as possible and quickly get you as quickly as possible to your goals. But that is the focus right now in the next couple of weeks is that basic food plan, creating that routine, hitting all the meals and snacks, making them nutrient rich, eating to satisfaction and being aware of how your body is responding to

the changes that you've made. So that's that. What are some of the things that we are going to be talking about over the next three months with you? So what are some of the things that we are going to be talking about over the next three months with you? So what are some of the things you're going to want to introduce to us, talk about, just to give people an idea of what's coming? Gina, you normally tell me. Let's think, let's think. So people often like the five Ps because it helps them map their history into what they were like, you know, what did they learn? What are they like? And how are they like now? How can we proceed? So it's quite a nice frame. We'll think about, you know, body image, where do we get these ideas from? How can we be gentle on ourselves? Because a lot of people

worry about that when I when I talk to people about not berating themselves like your example earlier somebody you know succeeded and then went out and ate all night and then felt bad the next day well it's the feeling bad the next day which is actually you know the rub's the rub. You can go out and enjoy yourself. You can go out and celebrate. This is why this program is set up for life, for real life. You know, we're allowed to celebrate. We're allowed to go on holiday. It's those feelings that when we go, oh, I failed, or I feel bad, that then start the chain of event that we've got to change. We've got to change that week and then say, okay, I had a great night. great night and now it you know now i know what i do because it has become habitual that means it's become

easier it's not so you know when we're learning how to drive everything's really difficult and then eventually it becomes automatic so we want it to become automatic and easy you know um i don't know what i was saying um i've lost my train of thought. We're talking about all the things we're going to talk about over the next few months. We'll talk about that. We'll talk about the CBT model. It's a nice model of psychology, often the gold standard, but other models can come into that, of course. But it's a way of mapping how to slow down. Like you said, be aware, how to slow down so that we have got a chance to catch our thinking, to think, what did I think

about that? That was hard on myself. Was I a bully in my brain? Was I a critic? Did I just scrutinize myself? And then talk kindly, start reframing those thoughts. notice our emotions. How do our emotions lead us? When I have an emotion that's like this, what do I do? Do I go out and look after myself or do I soothe myself in a way that might be defeating of what I want to be? And of course, our physiological feelings, how do we manage that feeling of anxiety or shame or just when we get all of the nerves what do we do about that and what have we learned like what ways have we learned to stop that some of us will use food some of us will light up a cigarette some of us will go out for a run How can we look at the habits that we have formed? And if they're not serving us, gently change them.

Because we don't want to ignore all the thoughts, the feelings, and the physiological arousal. But we want to see, is there another way? Can we journal? Can we be mindful? Can we talk to people? Can we, instead of hide it and be you know hide the shame speak of it it's all right to say this is something I'd like yes it's okay to say that right like it's okay to say you want to lose this weight because you're doing it in a healthy sustainable way

so this might seem like a lot yeah people are talking about the three c's Dr. Beverly has given us some great tips in the past no doubt um There will be lots of that to come. The three C's, the five P's, capture, cancel, correct, we love it. We're going to give you the tool. She's going to, she is going to give you the tools to work through this conversation. And this conversation isn't meant to overwhelm, it's to bring, it's to highlight, to bring awareness to some of the things that you might be dealing with. Some of the feelings that might pop up and some of the reasons why you are doing this or not doing that. And that's what I wanted to do today is just highlight all the amazing conversations that are yet to come with Dr. Beverly. We're going to get people

like, what are the three C's? We're going to get into all of that. We don't have time today. Lastly, before we go, which is just it, this is to me, this is so exciting. I love working through my stuff. And this is about moving forward. And this is this is this is what real sustainable weight loss is all about. It's not just losing the weight physically, it's, it's losing the weight, mentally, of everything you're coming through. Before we go, we do have a lot of returning members. Is it the same conversation for them and just going deeper and building on it? Or is there a fresh new conversation for people who are continuing their journey? It's something I think about every time I talk because I think, oh, I hope I bring something new or I hope I don't bore the people that have heard me before.

That's my own imposter syndrome, you know, my anxiety. But psychology isn't that hard. So I can't reassure you that sometimes we need to hear the same thing, perhaps in a different way or at a different time, because, you know, we have readiness at different times in our life and our season of our life, our chapters. But it's still the same. It's the same information, but hopefully sometimes it lands in fresh ears or fresh eyes. So it's similar. And maybe they will hear the same message, but take away something else. It might sink in differently. But I'm always trying to think, how can I reinvent the wheel? Or what if I said? I should say it differently. But sometimes it just is said the same way. I hear you. 21 groups later, 36 years later, helping people lose weight. I'm still saying the same thing because at the end of the day, it's what people need to hear. It's

what works. I adore you. I am so excited to get back and get into this and have these conversations with you. Thank you for spending your time with us today. I know people are going to want to reach out to you. Where can they find you? So I've made my Instagram a little easier for me to remember. Dr. Dr. Beverly. That's it. I can say it now. Dr. Dr. Beverly um and of course my website yourpsychologycenter.ca um sign up for my sleep group if you're interested because that's going to start in February and I close it at a nice small size so hurry if you do want to be in it that would be for people that if they have trouble getting to sleep staying asleep or wake up unrefreshed, it's a six week program. Gina will probably be there, don't Gina?

I'll be there. It's lovely. It's a lovely group. It's actually Mondays, though, at seven o'clock. So it will clash with your new, well, your returning seven o'clock lives, which is a blow, but I'll have to think about it. Yeah, sorry. That was a last minute decision to do those 7pm lives. It was. And then I was just like, you know what? I want to get back. What can I do and connect? And I should have, yes. Should have given it. You can't think of everybody. Okay, before I go, because you know, I always like to leave some people with something. I want people to practice the pause. So think of the word pause, P-A-U-S-E,

pause. P stands for practice it. Practice pausing every day, because if we don't practice it, it's very difficult to do it in the moment that we need it, when we might be finding ourselves heading to the fridge or to the cupboard or waking up in the night feeling nibbly. So practice this. A is open your airway. Take the breath. Because that allows us to give oxygen to the brain so that we can become, A, aware of what's going on. Am I hungry? Am I just on autopilot? Am I feeding an emotion? Am I avoiding emotion? Ask yourself those questions. You, ask what's underneath? What's going underneath here? Am I sad? Am I lonely tonight? Am I disappointed? Am I thinking I deserve this? What's underneath? And then if you're not in danger, S, bring on your senses.

Try and do an exercise, which we'll do another time, of looking for things, smelling things, listening things, tasting things, touching things, because that brings our brain out of the autopilot into the here and now. And then E, evaluate. Did that help? Did that delay help so that you have now your wise mind on to make the decision? You can still absolutely have that bowl of yogurt, but now you've given yourself a little

bit of time to think about it. And then E, the final E, because there's always doubles, exhale. And that's it. That's your pause. But try and slow down. Slow down everything, your thoughts, your emotions, your reactions, or your impulses, and concentrate on what your body is telling you. That's it.

I mean, that seems so simple. It's brilliant. I mean, this is being in the moment. This is being mindful. This is intuitive. This is really taking that time. Oh my gosh. Such a great takeaway.

Honestly, saving the best for last. More of this, you guys. There is more of this to come that Dr. Beverly is going to be sharing with us, which is why I'm so excited. Oh God, I could talk to you all day. We really should book five hours because it would be true.

Thank you everyone for joining us today. Follow Dr. Beverly, Dr. Dr. Beverly on Instagram. um thank you everyone for joining us today uh follow dr beverly uh dr dr beverly on instagram uh reach out to her um through your website what was it again your psychology center i should know that's fine now um cinderella way more of dr beverly still to come i hope that you've enjoyed this conversation uh with us. People are asking what the little, what do you call that? An acronym for those little paws. We will post it in the notes for you guys. We got to go. You're amazing. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Gina.