The Livy Method Podcast - Let's Talk Where You Are and Where You Want to Be with Dr. Beverley David - Fall 2024

Episode Date: November 12, 2024

In this episode, recorded on November 12, 2024, Gina talks about where you are and where you want to be with Dr. Beverley David. Dr. Beverley is a Clinical Psychologist registered with the College of Psychologists of Ontario. She also holds a Ph.D. in Sleep Research (Insomnia) and a Master's in Health Psychology.You can find the full video hosted at:https://www.facebook.com/groups/livymethodfall2024Topics covered:A Collective Experience at the National Women's Show! Are we ever happy exactly where we are at? Never enough? Reaching our milestones and then what? Journalling steps to reflect on "Where I am at and where I want to be." Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Model - Thoughts, Emotions, Behaviours, and Body Sensations. See the post in the group! Monitoring and tracking our actions with kindness. Designed to change - The Brain and Neuroplasticity. Receiving feedback - how we react or respond matters! Changing our frame: something going on with me and leaving space for what is going well for me. Making the shift from doubt to wonder and seeing the evidence of what's going well. Time Pressure - Our problem with delayed gratification. Noticing when we hear the inner voice of "not good enough" and how to do a narrative exercise. Effective forecasting versus future-tripping. Lots of time left in The Program - It may be time to shift some expectations! Dr. Beverley's FEAAR Plan to finish the program strong: Feeling, Expectation, Action, Attitude, Reward. Where to find Dr. Beverley David: https://www.yourpsychologycentre.ca/@drdrbeverleyTo learn more about The Livy Method, visit www.ginalivy.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm Gina Livy and welcome to the Livy Method podcast. This is where you'll have access to all of the live streams from my 91 day weight loss program. With a combination of daily lives, guest expert interviews and member stories, there is something new almost every day. Miss the morning live? Want to re-listen to one of our amazing guest experts? Well, this is the place. This podcast is hosted on Acast, but it's available on all podcast platforms, including the one you're listening to right now, Spotify, Apple,

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Visit Peloton at onepeloton.ca. This is an opportunity to become curious. To learn some things. How do we help you feel less overwhelmed so you can continue on your journey? Keep believing in yourself and keep trusting the process. Just be patient. We are talking weight loss with clinical psychologist, Dr. Beverly David, who's joining me today and specifically talking about where you are right now and where you want to be. And that got me thinking, well, isn't that what we're all dealing with all the time, where we are and where we want to be. And specifically, we are in the last four weeks of the program. And I find at this point, people put a lot of pressure on themselves. There's not enough time. I haven't done what I wanted to do. And that almost paralyzes people and prevents them from continuing to do the things they need to do. Why is that? Let's get into that. Hello, Dr. Beverly. Hi.

Hello, Tina. Good morning. Right. Before we get, before we get into that, I want to say how lovely it was to spend time with you on the weekend. We were at the National Women's Show together. You had an opportunity to meet a lot of our members, I know. Tell me about that. What was that like? Wowee. So exciting. So overwhelming. I don't know how you do it, Gina. I was in awe of you thinking that you had already done it on the Friday, you were doing it this on the Saturday, and you still have the Sunday to come. And it really was heartwarming and bucket filling, just seeing people talk to you and share their story with you, and then come and probably relay some of this story to us as well. And it was remarkable um just seeing the multi-generational

families you know where we just think my goodness i spoke to grannies and mums and daughters and cousins and aunts and that collective experience um and yes everybody was at a different spot you know there were people that had done it and were in maintenance. There were people that were noticing that the plateaus and feeling like when might this move? There were people that had gone up and down and that yo-yo feeling of the pendulum swinging back and forth. But everybody had a story. And everybody, I was really, I was very proud of how people were talking around it, you know knowing that life life has happened and then this might have occurred and then this happened but I now know how to navigate that a little bit better so it was thank you thank you for sharing Saturday with us it really was

wonderful just seeing seeing in the window a little bit to to your community and your members well real people real journeys like that is a thing and you know people all weekend aren't seeing in the window a little bit to your community and your members? Well, real people, real journeys, like that is a thing. And, you know, people all weekend, aren't you tired? Okay. Maybe I'm a little tired now when, now that things are calm and they've settled, but meeting, meeting our members, it's just, it's electric. It's energizing. It is, it's hard to put in words. When you meet people who are working really hard to make real change, they are self-aware. They're also sharing. Like you said, they're having conversations. There are people who came with their best friend of 40 years and there are people who came alone. And I think that kind of insight and awareness, I kept saying to people, I'm not selling a diet.

We are selling hope, hope that your hard work will pay off, hope that you can make change, hope that not only you can lose weight, but you can actually be healthier, like hope that you're going to, you know, achieve the things that you want to achieve in life. Are we ever happy though with where we are at? Have you ever met anyone who is like, I'm just happy exactly right where I am? Yeah, that is actually a very, very good question. Like a really good question because when we set ourselves goals or a task ahead of us, often we can very quickly adapt to success. And that often will lead us to feel quite unsatisfied after a short period. So we can work really hard for that thing. And then when it's done, we're like, oh, so we're forgetting, we're forgetting that we did something and we felt achieved and we felt satisfied and we felt proud of ourselves because often we're on to the next thing. So we definitely want to sit with that and think, wow, hang on.

I want to notice my accomplishments. I want to notice where I was and where I am now and to learn what did I do to get here? Because there's always going to be barriers and blocks and obstacles that we're going to navigate. And that's really important for them the next time. I think that happens. But how did we maneuver ourselves? But be mindful of how quickly we're on to the next thing. And that might then feel like we're not happy because we're like, what's next?

Well, a lot of exciting things happening. So we were on Dragon's Den. That happened. Before you know it, that was done. We were on to the National Menopause Show. That happened. Then that was done. And then we had the National Women's Show, and that happened.

It was amazing that it was done. And today I'm feeling a little bit depressed and pressure of all the other things. Now I have to work on this and do this and do that and do whatever. And I'm thinking, let's break it down for our members who are losing weight. They reach that, they reach that milestone, go, okay, lost five pounds. Yay. I'm excited. Hit my lowest low today. The next day you're back to feeling depressed. Oh my God, I got a long way to go. Then you hit your next milestone yay I did that and then but it's it's it's never enough and that's happening all the time it's like we get that dopamine hit of like yay we did that and then oh now we're gonna do

this and we're not there yet I'm so far away like what it's like what do we do about that well first of all it's what you're doing. It's acknowledging it, that continuous growth and then goal renewal. We grow and then we often set a new goal. And you described something really important because a lot of us will feel that post-goal void, that emptiness, that, oh, okay.

So that you've been really busy and now you're, and yes, it can be very related to dopamine we feel so excited we feel so driven and then this calmness makes us feel like oh okay and it's sort of like a a social hangover or an action where we're just drained um but we so knowing it that's that's the key to start acknowledging it to journal it to be mindful of it to notice it in our children or our partners or our friends to think i'm seeing it happen in them we see you described a beautiful sequence you know that we can then think oh yeah gina felt it too dragon's den high and then menopause, high and then women's national women's

show, same thing. So we've got to settle. We've got to be reflective. We've got to share it with people. We've got to write it. And then we've got to be calm and think what next in a nice way instead of what next in a churny way. Okay, so today, today I'm sitting here and I'm thinking, or I just reached my, yesterday I reached my lowest low and I'm excited. Today the scale's the same or whatever's going on and I'm feeling like, okay, we've got four more weeks of the program.

So what do I do? I pull out my journal, I write a pen and I just write how I'm feeling. Like, take me through the steps. Exactly. What am I going to do today? Well, today, what did we call this session? Where I am and where I am now and where I want to go. I can't remember the exact word.

So we could start with that entry. We could write that down. And then we could chunk it out. We could say where I am. Now, one of the first things my mom has ever says to me whenever we give a call and whenever I see a client I say there you are okay so I want you to think where are you you know there you are have a think how are you feeling how are you turning up today have you got anything new to to? Any aches and pains?

Any relief? Any movement that's different? Has anybody else noticed? You know, because we've got these intrinsic goals, but has anybody else said, hey, you just were different, you know, the last few weeks you were energized or not? Because remember, some people won't be feeling that.

So truthfully, let yourself know where am I? And then we might think on it either on the same page, because sometimes it can be nice to actually see the map to think, okay, this is my current location. And where is my destination? Where would I like to travel to? Just like you described that Disneyland, to be thinking I'd like to travel to, just like you described that Disneyland, to be thinking, I'd like to go there. And I might not be there yet, because it takes some time to get somewhere. And then we're, we're looking at that goal. And we're thinking, okay, what would it look like to be there? Because that's where we're wanting to go. How would you be thinking? How would you be feeling? What behaviors would you be doing? And how would your body feel? And that's a really nice way to think, okay,

I'm looking at all of the psychology, because then it doesn't just, it just doesn't focus on one thing. It focuses on many things that you could have micro goals within the big the big destination um because I'm hopeful people's thoughts are starting to change already and their feelings around food and their feelings ultimately around themselves their self-worth um their worthiness um and then their behaviors I'm hoping that they're noticing them. And I'm hoping that they don't just give up and think all or nothing. Oh, I had that thing. So I'm out. I, you know, to hell with it. That's what one of those sorts of sayings. That's it. I'm out. I want them to think, okay, I can, I can return to my, my GPS and I can carry on my journey.

We can pull over and stop at the en route. Doesn't mean that we're not still heading in the right direction. So I would think about that. But I use the cognitive behavioral therapy to help the hot cross bun. Think about your thoughts. Think about your feelings and emotions look at your behaviors and then have a have a look inside your body as well okay can we go through that cognitive behavioral therapy model i'm not sure we we have pulled that out this group yet i will get the team to post it in the group so that's that that's that this is sort of like you're sitting down with yourself and that's that um cross while you're gonna draw it like this okay so at the 12 o'clock

you've got your thoughts that's where you'd start catching those in inside thoughts and they can often be quite bulliesome an internal critic like I'm not going to make it everybody's ahead of me um did you see everybody there no you know whatever those nasty thoughts are or we could have really wonderful thoughts I'm doing it I'm here um because I'm hoping that we're going to see quite a wide wide breadth of thoughts now and I want you to reflect on where you were at the beginning. You know, is this going to even work? You know, should I even bother? But catch those thoughts and see if there's any fortune telling, like, are you fortune telling that you're not going to make

it? Are you all or nothing? You know, and the scale hasn't moved I'm giving up okay because now you're ending you're ending the journey um so write your thoughts down as if you were asking somebody what what's going on and then a thought is a sentence okay it's often well uh this happened and then that happened and um I just wanted to give up okay so a So a thought is actually a dialogue. A feeling or an emotion is often a word. That's the difference. Because often when I say to somebody, how are you feeling? They may tell me their thoughts. Well, I'm feeling like I'm pretty hopeless and I don't think I can do this. That's actually a thought. Okay. Okay. So is that our next thing is feeling here? Yeah. Feeling, or you could use the word emotion because sometimes people will confuse it with their physical feelings.

So an emotion is often one word. I feel sad. I'm anxious. I'm worried. I'm nervous. I'm excited. I'm exhausted. Okay. so it's often one word. That's what's the difference. And we can have many. We can be we can have more than one feeling and emotion. Our behaviors are what are we doing? And that would be helpful when we catch our behaviors. That's going to be very important for where you want to go. OK, because if you're wanting to go on it on a journey, you're going you want to go, okay? Because if you're wanting to go on a journey, you're going to want to plan. You're going to want to have enough petrol in the car. You're going to want to have the map. So the behaviors help us with that. Have you got the things that

you need to help you succeed? Have you told people you're doing this? Have you got a plan? Okay, because if we don't have a plan, we're more likely to miss our goal. Would this be like going through the maximizing post or, you know, food prep, preparing what you're doing, if you're doing the things that you need to be doing? Is that what behavior is? Okay, so behavior is down at at six o'clock okay so we have kindness with kindness kindness to notice okay mate like you've taught people maybe i'm not doing all the things so could i add something extra in okay so we have thoughts at 12 o'clock feelings and emotions at three o'clock and behavior at 12 o'clock. Feelings and emotions at 3 o'clock and behavior at 6 o'clock.

And then our body, and that's our physical arousal and activation over the 9 o'clock. Okay, so that's where we'd have sweaty palms or palpitations or we'd feel nerves in our tummy and I'm hoping that that is also moving so that that calmness around food and calmness around the choices that we're making or the reflection of oh I might have eaten something I shouldn't have doesn't hurt us as much I don't want to worry us as much I just want us to know it and think that's okay tomorrow's another day day, you know, I'm going to proceed. I'm going to proceed with, you know, care and kindness. And so really what we're doing is just bringing awareness to what's going on and what we're thinking and how we're feeling and what we're doing and how our body is maybe internalizing or handling how we are feeling to get a sense of

where we're at right now so we know best how to support ourselves moving forward and monitoring is just a lovely thing to do and it teaches us a lot okay when we're tracking, we're able to see things. When we're journaling or using an app or planning, we're able to notice our actions. And then with kindness, we want to think, can I adjust if I need to? And we want to look for those feedback loops because actually, they're really useful to think, okay, if I can recognize areas where I could improve or areas where I could try something different, that's really good for us because we don't want to just think we know it all. We're going this way and only this way. We want to be learning and thinking, actually, what did I learn about Thanksgiving or Halloween or the anniversary that I was dreading? What did my

body do? How did I react? And how did I rewrite my ship if I did happen to capsize? So it's never, it isn't a fail. It's a learning opportunity to think, right, let's see. Well, and we're talking specifically weight loss knowing that people are trying to lose weight we were in the last month of the program and we know the fields that can go along with that but this is i mean this is you do this in life this is you you you practice this is going to help you in all areas of your life with any goal like you're trying to achieve or just really just showing up in life? Yeah, that's right. Because it's hard, isn't it? It is hard to, like you've said, it's not always about having motivation. It's trying to do it anyway to think, okay. And then when we get into

more habits, it just becomes easier because those actions are more automatic you know automaticity has started to happen so if you're used to filling up your water every single morning in between like I fill this up every between every client that's habitual it's habit and I feel weird if it's not near me um so you've just got to give that wiring that that neuroplasticity time to reroute. Can we talk about that neuroplasticity? Because your brain is designed to change and a lot of your thoughts are habitual, especially when basically they've been dieting forever like on their tombstone will be here lies a serial dieter our brains get really wired I think negatively when it comes to our experience with with dieting is there is there ever a time where that negativity is useful why are we so like it's a driver isn't it it's a driver because we're not it is it is sensible

like I know we try and say don't compare ourselves um try to stay present try and be um happy just where you are but as humans we are always seeking more. We are always evolving. Our brain is always looking to take steps forward. It would be sad if we just stopped, if we were just done, you know, at 25. We're done. That's it. That's a shame. You know, we want to just keep on going. And that little voice in our head that says you could do better, that can be a real motivator.

Because, yes, we can. You know, or you could do better that can be a real motivator because yes we can you know or you could do more yes you can it's it's whether or not you you take that sort of script and think of it as a personal attack or actually encouragement okay because there's it's different if if a coach is saying to you hey and i'm I'm I'm doing it at the moment I'm so happy to be back in the masters the swimming um masters club and I am soaking up the coach I want every little bit of anything that she's willing to tell me you know and when I was younger I wouldn't have wanted that I would have thought oh it means I'm no good I wouldn't have wanted that. I would have thought, oh, it means I'm no good. I knew Julia was better than me. We take it differently. And I'm now at an age where I want to be better. I want to hear, going to get there faster. Do you take it as criticism or do you take it as actually worthwhile advice that you can do more? And that's growth mindset again. It's being able to think I can go other places. I can speed up. I'm not done yet. So you've got to catch how you receive it. Did you receive it as jarring and an insult or personal or heavy? Or can you go, thank you?

I, you know, I, one lady I met on the Saturday, it was wonderful. She said that she had gone to lunch with a very, very good friend. And the very good friend, in the nicest possible way, just pointed out that she was worried about her health. And that if she carried on on that trajectory, that she was worried. And she didn't take it in a defensive way. She didn't react. She responded. And she came home.

She looked you up. And now her whole family is on the program, because she took it as an opportunity, a gift instead of a slight. So it's how do we receive? And what did we grow up receiving? You know, if we were messaged constantly with negativity, and you can't, and you'll never be that, and then we're probably, it's going to be harder to think, hang on. Yes, I can. You know, that's probably when we've had an experience of seeing somebody else or another or a teacher or somebody that we've thought they did it. They did it. People have less than us and they do it. is that you have something there to adapt with you, whether you need a challenge or rest. And Peloton has everything you need,

whenever you need it. Find your push. Find your power. Peloton. Visit Peloton at onepeloton.ca. Can we talk about the what's wrong with me? Because I think words are really important. When you talk about like, what are your thoughts? What what are your feelings like the words that you're using but a lot of

people will be like what's wrong with me and I always say that's not the question the question is what's what's going on with me like I don't think there's anything wrong with me today but there's something going on with me and this is is how I was like, okay, I have this amazing weekend. I should be like riding high. And now all of a sudden I just feel this pressure. I feel less than, I feel not good enough. I feel like it's, I'm too much. What is that about? But there's nothing wrong with me. There's something going on with me. So can you just talk a little bit about that? Because I think a lot of people feel they get stuck in that. What's wrong with me? Why can't I do this? What's wrong with me? Why am I not losing weight? What's

wrong with me? And I think that really keeps people stuck. Yeah. It's a very personal reflection, isn't it, on the self. And that's where often shame sits when we think there's something wrong with me as opposed to that this external things you know that you know that thing that was happening has probably led to me being exhausted um and again we might have grown up hearing that someone might have actually said it to us what is wrong with you okay or we've heard someone say it about themselves we might have had parents that say what's wrong with me I've forgotten this again or I forgot and so we're hearing these messages and then we want to then slow it down like you just did and that beautiful slight shift will allow somebody to think about it a little bit

different okay like what's going on for me? You've just done a, you've given a gift as a reframe to everybody to think, change your words slightly and write it in your journal. What's going on for me? And then also consider what's right with me. That's the total opposite to be thinking, what is right with me? So many things are right with me um so never miss that because if your little person said that to you you'd very quickly lean in and say what's

going on you know and then they might then find more words to say well I didn't get picked for that thing or everybody you know ignored me or I've got no one to go to Halloween with. But it doesn't mean there's something wrong with them. Something else is going on. And the difficulty with that thought pattern or that way of looking at the world is often then we look for evidence about what is wrong with me. And then that saturates us with negative. I do this and I've done that. And that's why we need to shift. We need to think, okay, can I change my glasses? Can I take a minute? Can I have a shower? Can I have a tea? Can I go for a walk? And can I

reflect and think, actually, if I look at the whole week, am I basing the what's wrong with me on one part of that and have I minimized all of the other lovely little successes that I've had because we do that that's called minimizing and maximizing we'll maximize the negative stuff unfortunately and we minimize the good bits and we need to change that we need to change that ratio and we minimize the good bits. And we need to change that. We need to change that ratio. And that's the neuroplasticity. It's intentionally hardwiring happiness to look for it. Now, I know terrible things happen, but there's also wonderful things that happen. We've got to look for them because if we stop looking for them, all we're going to receive in our brain is negative things, which is going to confirm to us, unfortunately, there's something wrong. Right. It's what your brain is searching for and seeing that looking for evidence.

It's like that you decide to buy a new car and you buy a red car and all of a sudden you see that red car everywhere. You're like, why does everyone have the same car as me? Because you're wiring your brain to see it. I see this in the beginning of the program, people planting seeds of doubt. Oh, well, I feel overwhelmed. It's too much information. I can't make the lives. I can't this. I can't do that. I can't whatever. So that when they decide not to do it, there's a trail of excuses and reasons. People tend to do that at this point in the program. There's not enough time. And I'm just like, the time is the time.

It's going to take you the time. It's going to take you to lose your weight. Like, sure, if you have 60 pounds to lose, you're probably not going to lose 60 pounds in the next four weeks, but it'll get you one step closer to reaching your goal. And we're just so wired into proving ourselves, right? Yes. Right. Like I'm, I'm not, and forgetting about all the non-scale victories and forgetting about what you did up until this point. And it's so hard to get past that. How do we, how do we in, okay. So we brought awareness. This is how we're feeling. We feel like,

oh my goodness, I feel like there's not enough time. I feel like I'm not going to reach my goal, whatever I'm thinking. Once we realize that, how do we actually follow through and continue to show up besides ourselves? Oh, I would I would try your very best to do something that you might not have done before and do it anyway, because if you start noticing every time that happens, every time I set myself up with these the breadcrumbs of doubt, then I end up stepping off, stepping off the train and leaving and how does that feel eventually do you wish you'd stayed on or do you think oh good it was you know it wasn't it who do we blame do we blame Gina do we say yeah it was it was the it was the program or are we able to think okay I wonder I wonder if I've done this many times maybe it's that I don't like this stage, this uncomfortable, I'm nearly there. Because some of us worry about that.

And catch it on the paper to think, what am I thinking? What is my fear? Is my fear that I'm going to get to the end of the 91 days and I won't have lost all of my weight? And so write it down and why why does that matter what do you think about that do you think you're a failure do you think uh you're never gonna do it like and flesh it out to think what is going on okay and then start thinking but what has happened I've been on the program. I'm halfway through. What have I noticed? Because don't just jump off because that one thing might not be there. them down and noticing them, you're looking away, you're missing the scenery, you're on that train and you're missing it all. And we need that intrinsic reward. We like that. And then try

your very best to stay till the end and then see and then think, right, so what if I didn't get to that number? What else did I get? Do do i think differently do i feel differently do i do differently um do i have more energy better sleep better blood levels if you're going for a blood panel how you the stuff that's changing on the inside is invisible often for us we can't see that we're getting stronger or less inflammation inside. So we want to be really careful to not just jump off the ship and think this isn't working. That's what people are doing. They're jumping off the ship because they're jumping off the ship. So if you imagine rather than being on a road in your car, if you're on the ship, right? And it's like you're jumping, you're jumping off.

What is our issue with time? What is our issue with time? And I mean, we're the only ones putting the pressure on ourselves. So what's our deal with that? It's unfortunate because we do often have trouble with delayed gratification. We often want immediate pleasure, immediate rewards. However, there's great experiments, a very famous experiment, the Stanford marshmallow experiment, where the children that were able to delay not having this

marshmallow that was sat in front of them, when we're able to delay, we then feel greater satisfaction. The journey, the journey it takes, the effort, the weight, the watching the scenery outside adds to the feeling of, yes, I did it. So we want to be able to do that. And every day, if we break it down to every day is a success, then we might be able to have little wins along with the big wins. You know, if I'm studying for something, and I think, okay, I've got to study this whole, you know, eight components of psychology, and I'm going to break it up into however many chapters, and every single day is a success, because I've done a little bit of it, and then a little bit more, and we a little bit more and we stack it on

so we've got to think long game it's not a short game everybody knows like well probably most people can tell now I have Invisalign this is the long game every single day I'm putting them in I change them every Tuesday so it's a new set I have something in mind that's going to take at least 22 months to get there. And I'm doing it. I'm doing it. So what? It's no different. It's no different to studying, to getting healthy finally and forever, because that's the thing. I don't want it to stop at 91 days. I don't want anybody just to be like, well, I'm done with that. And that was just a 91 day thing. It's a lifetime thing. OK, I want I want everybody to just continue to learn or to continue to apply what they have learned in this program.

You know, I didn't learn all of my psychology stuff just to never look at it ever again. Yeah. We have to know that we're forever learning and there'll be other things that come up in the way where we have to think, okay, I'm going to return to that material. Well, it's, and it's acquiring the skills and the tools. And then like, that's, those are now your new go-to rather than falling back into your old habit and coping mechanisms and your old skills and tools that no longer really serve you it's that new toolbox and falling falling into those habits so that those are the habits that you fall back to and those are some some really good habits. I think this comment, it takes so much. I take so much as criticism and evidence of how I am not good enough.

It is the battle I constantly face. My head knows this is wrong. So when I first hear it, I'm okay. But as I sit with it, I go to the negative space. I am so tired of being like this. Just when I think I have worked through that, it creeps in again. Hmm. I wonder when it creeps in, we want to think about what happens you know is it when the weather is not very nice is it when you haven't slept well is it that you haven't seen your friends or that you have seen your friends what I want to know when does it creep in do you have too much time on your hands and you're thinking or do you have no time on your hands so you're not not thinking. And so it creeps in. I would want that person to be thinking, why does this little voice, because it's part of us, okay? And we want to talk

back to it. We want to think, why are you here now? What's going on? What do you need from me? Okay, because it might be trying to protect you. Okay, Most of the time, the behaviors that we've started to do and then reinforce and now it's part of us has served some sort of very functional, advantageous thing to us. It's kept us safe, whether we have to be quiet, whether we have to avoid, whether we had to stay busy. It probably helped us when we were younger and maybe our early adulthood. So now we've got to think, is this still useful? Do I still need this armor? Like, why is this turning up? And then answer it back. Say, what's the evidence? Take it back to the left brain. So the right brain is the emotion where we allow the emotion to drive the bus.

So that sadness, that emptiness, whatever that is. And then we've got to try when we can to get the left brain to come in to say what's going on. That's the more logical, linear with the language brain. Think of L for all of that's the more logical linear with the language brain think of L for all of that the language and start writing write yourself a letter write to the internal critic write to your sadness or your hopelessness or your worthiness to say hey worthiness where have you been why do you go away so often I I miss you when you're not around. Narrative exercises are very powerful. I'd love you to be around more often. And then sit with that and see if it moves it at all. Try just to do something different, even in this moment of halfway through. This is the next goal

for everybody. If we think of that, this is the next set this is now endurance this is um stamina okay i want you to think right how do i get through this bit this bit in the middle that i might never have got through before i'm going to give it a go and i'm going to learn about how i do that um and i want us to be thinking i want us to be forecasting and thinking, right, what might get in my way? How will I make an actionable plan to navigate that and move around it? And then plan those if-thens. motivated then I will remind myself of my purpose and then we get out the journal and we look at the why what why are you here is it because you want to play with the grandkids why are you here is it because you want to um be able to look after your your parents as they get older what's the why because often there's way more than I want to see a different number on scale. There's lots wrapped up in that. And practicing all of that, that's how you change your brain. That's how you change your brain

and your thoughts. What is the difference then finally between forecasting and future tripping? Oh, it's very similar. Very similar. And I want people to be forecasting in a different way than like notice it, that fortune telling if I'm not going to, I'm not going to make it to the end. Instead of doing that, say, how can I, how can I make it to the end? You know, I'm going to, it's going to be a sticky bit here. It's going to be be we're all going to be tired at that point or i'm motivated i'm going to fly through that that finishing line but be nice to it you know notice that what's going to come up that's going to be a little bit difficult then try and plan it we can't we can't be perfect we can't plan everything we can't control everything things are going to come and put a spanner you know right it's going to be a wrench, but then we just carry on, tomorrow's another day, or next week is another week. So yeah, what fortune telling, that's often where anxiety lies, you know, when we worry about the

what ifs ahead of us, depression is often behind us, you know, I should have, could have, would have. And we really want to be cultivating mindfulness and presence in the here and now because often that's where we're able to think why am I thinking about failing next week when right now I'm not I'm here you know I've got my nuts I've got my water whatever you're doing it doing it. You're here. You've got to, like you always say, you've got to trust the process. And if the process is about looking after yourself, it's not a bad process. It's never bad. A really wonderful goal to have is to think that you're worth it. Yeah. We're not all jumping off a cliff at the end. Like it is. Um, okay. Thank

you. That really helps because people really do feel the pressure in the last four weeks of the program. They feel like they're not good enough. They haven't done enough. They don't have enough time. They feel, and then we add in the holiday season on top of that. There's a lot going on. Just so you know, if you are watching or listening right now, we are going to make sure you are set up for success at the end of the program and in between groups. We're going to tell you everything that you need to know. You're going to do great. We're going to cover all of that. For those of you who are coming to an end, meaning that you've reached your goal or you're close, we're going to tell you everything that you need to know about

maintenance. We're going to set you up for success. We want you to continue to be successful, whether you are coming back with us, going it on your own, or you're ready for maintenance. But right now, focus on what you need to do right now, because there's a lot of time left still. I find, Dr. Beverly, what I'm telling people is they come in with the expectations in the first four weeks of the program. They're going to lose all this weight. They're going to reach their goals. They're going to do all these things. And I think part of that is the diets they've done in the past, they do see that big drop in

the beginning, but then they forget that it gets to a point where they stop losing. And then it gets to a point where they gain it all back plus more. And that's where they really need to shift those expectations that they had in the beginning to the end of the program, where now they're more self-aware, they're more in tune, their body's in a different place physically, and you're in a different place mentally than when you started. Do you have any final words of wisdom or thoughts to send us off on our way for these last four weeks of the program? Well, I've talked about the fear plan before, but it's a nice way of writing it down. So you would write the word fear, F-E-A-R, it is an acronym. And then you would write out, what am I feeling and then that this is another way of doing your

CBT what am I feeling I'm feeling overwhelmed I'm feeling um agitated whatever the feeling is then the E is Y what are you expecting to happen I'm expecting what to not do it or I'm expecting what to not do it, or I'm expecting what's going on that is contributing to the feeling. The A is a double A. It's what actions can you do? What actions can you take to help you with this? You know, if you are expecting to slip, what actions can you do to help that you don't, you know, can you join some more lives? Can you reset this weekend and think, right, let me look at the material. Let me see where I'm going. Let me revisit my why. Let me stock up with the right things in my cupboard. All of those things, because that's an actionable instead of saying, okay, I'm out, I'm out, think, how can I lean further in? The other A is your attitude. Can you change your

attitude? If your attitude is, it's just not working, I want you to question that. Is that a fact or is that an interpretation? I want you to challenge your attitudes to think this is a life, a lifelong learning. This is a well, you are, just like you've said, you're giving people hope. And so the attitude, I just want it to shift. If your attitude is saying, give up, I want you to question that. And then the R is the the reward if you manage all of this you're going to keep going and you're going to learn even more about yourself at the beginning at the middle of and at the end and ongoing we we're constantly evolving i want you to really really dig deep to see what changes have happened um even with your the lovely person that wrote to say it just will creep in.

I want to know, is it creeping in as often? Does it leave quicker? Like what are these really, really little changes that might be really quite traumatic, significant changes? And then try and focus on that. So remember your fear plan and and just keep going keep yeah i made my notes you got it i'm gonna remember my fear f e a a our plan i love that you've you've given us a lot of uh tips tools to get us through i mean this is really what it's about

it's not about what you're eating and when i I mean, we talk about that over and over and over again. Yes, sure, that'll work. Like, yes, you have to Thank you very much for spending your time with us today. You can reach out to Dr. Beverly. She's on Instagram, DrDrBeverly, or you can reach out to her through yourpsychologycenter.ca. Thanks, everyone who is joining us live. What's the R, Sandy? The R is reward. The R is reward.

We'll do a little post. We'll do a little post on it for you guys. Have an amazing day, everyone. Dr. Beverly, thank you so much. You're welcome. Whether you're in your running era, Pilates era, or yoga era, dive into Peloton workouts that work with you. From meditating at your kid's game to mastering a strength program,

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