The Livy Method Podcast - Maintenance & Mindfulness Live with Kyle Buchanan - November 4, 2024

Episode Date: November 4, 2024

In this special edition of Maintenance and Mindfulness Live Gina Livy talks with the host of feelgoodery Podcast Kyle Buchanan. This is the live recording from November 4th, 2024.You can find the full video hosted at https://www.facebook.com/groups/ginalivymaintenanceandmindfulnessTopics covered:Introducing Kyle BuchananFinding calm with seasonal stress.Counter-balancing underlying stress.What you resist persists - How to acknowledge our stressors.Reframing - How this can help.Creating space between your stress and you - Take a step back and stop chasing cars.Cultivating our support response to handle stressful situations, before they happen.How we cope is changing - Be proud of the work you are doing!Being in tune is amazing - It can also be tough some days.Tips for building a solid foundation - What can we do?Seasonal Affective Disorder – What is it? Support Tips.Therapy - Understanding what we need and when we need support.Light therapy lamp? - Kyle shares why he loves these and tips for use.Progress happens in the little bits - Keep putting in the work.Compassion is the way in, and the way through.Transformation needs change and discomfort.When the work comes together alignment will happen.Gina shares where to find Kyle.Grace for the win this week - We are embracing it all, and right here with you.Instagram: @itskylybWebsite: kylebuchanan.caPodcast: feelgoodery Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm Gina Livy and welcome to the Livy Method podcast. This is where you'll have access to all of the live streams from my 91 day weight loss program. With a combination of daily lives, guest expert interviews and member stories, there is something new almost every day. Miss the morning live? Want to re-listen to one of our amazing guest experts? Well, this is the place. This podcast is hosted on Acast, but it's available on all podcast platforms, including the one you're listening to right now, Spotify, Apple,

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Looking forward to this conversation today with one of my favorite guests. Kyle Buchanan is joining me. Yeah, I love you. I adore you. We always have the best conversations and we have a lot of fun. Kyle is the host of the podcast Feel Goodery. He's also a resident contributor on Canada's The Morning Show. All around just amazing guy who has a passion for helping people, lifestyle, health, wellness, you name it. Hi. Yeah. Hi. I always have the best time with you. And the last talk we had, it was like a therapy session so i'm excited

and you can like feel free to like invoice me for the therapy session because it was great it's always such a i always like talking about a whole different bunch of topics but you have a wonderful way of tangenting in a right way so you never know what's going to come out in our talks which is what I really like. The organic, everyone these days trying to be authentic and real. Let's just have some real conversations. Let's have, yes. Okay. We have a specific focus.

So today we are talking about finding calm with seasonal stress. I don't know what the fuck that means, but we're going to figure it out. A little bit. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's getting to that sad part of the year, right? So it's a little, we're like sprinkling a little seasonal affective disorder with like our seasonal life change. And it's going to be a whole bunch of affective fun. Can we also throw in the holiday season because it's the know, decorating your home, you know, going out, leaving the house can be stressful.

Dealing with family, you know, the pressure of the new year. There's a lot. It's like a heightened time for all of us. You know, we have I'm a Christmas person like I like this time of year because I just feel like everyone's a little bit more magical. But, you know, that's matched with the pressures we put in ourselves, the pressure families put in ourselves, the pressure, you know, everything's heightened this time of year. So if you're not, if you're not feeling that great, it can be a hard time to navigate. You know, you just saying that out loud just has me thinking like there's a pressure,

there's pressure to every season, right? So you summer it's fun then you feel the pressure of a fresh start in the fall and then fall you know we're rolling in quickly then it kind of gets away from us I'm not doing the things I said I was gonna do and now Halloween came I ate all the candy and then we have Christmas dress coming and then just when we're done Christmas dress I you feel like a bag of shit rolling into the new year then I put all this pressure on myself and And then, then like seasonal affective disorder really hits me. I'm feeling like depressed in February and then spring comes and like, it's just like, it never stops. It never stops. It's one thing after, uh, after the other. And it's so funny that, you know, we get into, it's a great thing, but it's, it's, it's this thing where we rush, rush, stop.

Rush, rush, stop. The fall, back to school, rush, rush, stop. And then we're getting into the holidays, rush, rush, stop. But we don't really allow ourselves to stop and rest and enjoy it. We're kind of always going from one thing to the next. And we're always looking to what's coming. And that kind of puts our body in this state of fight or flight all the time, where we're just constantly stressed instead of enjoying the moment, doing things that support calm in the present moment, so that we can enjoy that moment more instead of always

going to what's next, right? And the height, height, height. That was really big, what you just said there, because we've talked a lot about resiliency, and it's not just stress, it's how you're reacting to stress and allowing your body to calm down from that stress. So, you know, on a very primitive level, we get chased by a bear or something. And then we're like, oh my gosh. And then we come back, we're safe, we calm down, we just get back to life, right? Or any stressful event in your life, it's stressful, drama, whatever. Then there's a calm period of time. but i think what we just described is there's an underlying level of stress that's just secular like just keeps coming and coming and coming on top of like the what we define as stressful things that we're dealing with just like in general there's like a layer of stress did you pause there for a second? I paused.

I didn't pause. There was a connection issue, so I didn't. I don't know what to say on your end, but I knew what you were saying was beautiful. I just didn't hear any of it. Let's just check my connection. I'm okay. Yeah, I think you're fine. There might be a bit of a delayed connection there.

What I was saying is that what you described was like there's this underlying level of stress that's happening all the time. When people think of stress, they think of like, I'm stressed about money, I'm stressed about my kids, I'm stressed about these things. And not that really like underlying stress that's happening all the time. Yeah, like our bodies were designed to cope with stress, right? We were physiologically designed to cope with the one time stressors, the ones that are every now and then our body can cope with it. But like you said, what we're dealing with now in our day-to-day lives is just this undercurrent of chronic stress, whether it is, you know, kids, well, we all have kids, but kids, social pressure, work stress, like those we can consider like normal stressors. But what

bodies are also coping with is stressors we might not even think of as stressors, like checking our phones every other second, watching the news, the city in which we live in, the pollutants that we're exposed to, like all that stuff counts as stressors to our body so we have the work stress the family stress but we also have these subconscious stresses that we don't even realize are stresses so this kind of compounds into this i always call like this vibrational this vibrational state where we're always vibrating. We're always on this vibrational plate, essentially, of stress. And that's why it really is on us, knowing that we have more stressors that we might not even be aware of. It's on us to support our body in the ways that we can. Control what we can't control. Because when it comes to stress and anxiety, when we try to control the uncontrollable, that'll make things worse. But if we take

actions to do things at the very basic level to support a foundation, that's when we have more control, more than we might think. And that's where we can kind of counterbalance the chronic stress that our bodies are exposed to every day. So let me ask you this. I had a conversation on my live this morning in the weight loss program about real reality. Like we got to, we got to be really real, the real with our feelings and our thoughts, how we're showing up, what we're doing, what we're not doing, the reality of our situation. And so do you think it's better for people to, when it comes to like stress to, to, to be real? Or do you think that is perpetuating their stress when you're focusing on it? Or just be like, Oh, I'm fine. It's just like trying to cope with like, I'm, I'm fine. Do we recognize it? Do we not recognize it?

Like in terms of like the acknowledgement of it? Yeah. What's a better way to go? I think if you do the fine and you don't acknowledge it, that's a recipe for disaster. And it also just makes it worse. Like when you, what you resist persists. So you can't lie to yourself that I didn't come up with that. I wish I did.

I would have trademarked it. It was a, it's been a mantra of mine for like 30 years of my life. And it's so funny. I haven't heard it or spoke of it probably in years. And you just triggered something in me. And I was like, it's true. I mean, the amount of time that we just deny how we're feeling, we deny that we're under stress because, and largely it's because we can't focus on it. Like it almost feels as if, if we acknowledge it, it's real, but if we don't acknowledge it, it's not real, but that's a lie. That's not the way our body, that's not the truth. So I think the sooner you acknowledge it,

and allow yourself to feel it without judgment, the quicker it'll not dissipate per se, but release its hold over you. There's a statement like, even though I feel stressed right now, I'm going to be present in this moment. Like both things can be true. You can be stressed and you can get things done. And there's also something interesting to note that for some people, when they experience stress, if they frame it like, no, this is a good stress, it's a better physiological response than people who take the stress as a bad thing. And I know reframing is a hard thing to do, especially when you're in the thick of it

and you're fucking stressed out. You're like, I don't want to reframe right now. I don't want to think of it as a good stress. But it's just something worth remembering that sometimes when I'm going through enormous stress and going through it right now, there's a lot of different changes going on in my life. I have to sometimes tell myself that, you know what, I'm going to use this stress as fuel for myself. I'm going to take it as a good thing because it'll make me stronger. So I do think acknowledging it and being aware that you

are experiencing stress and being compassionate with yourself as you're going through it can take the load off in a way that you might not realize instead of consistently being in denial. Because otherwise you have this thing running your shoulder, always looking that you're not going to acknowledge, but it's always there. And sometimes just bringing things to the light and being aware of them is kind of a first step. Yeah, aware. And you don't even have to necessarily be like excited about it.

Like that whole, everything happens for a reason. Cause there's some stress people are dealing with that they'd rather not be dealing with. And to your point, there is like, there is good stress that distress and stress. Like there is good forms of stress as well. And I, I, for example, think I have a lot going on too, but I asked for it. I absolutely asked for it. And it's only because the things that I put in play are now in play which is now creating more work for me which is now creating more stress for me and every day I'm like whose fucking idea was it to do this and that and that

and Tony's like yours you you decided so we're the worst human beings are the worst because you set these goals for yourself and then you freaking complain about it when it's like, no, this is this is a good problem because it means you work to this point. We and I think it is in part our negativity bias, which our brains are like we're primed to find the negative. So even if they're all good problems, it's our default to be like, oh, this is hard. This sucks. This is really bad right now. This is making me stressed. And it sometimes is a matter of just acknowledging that and then recognizing that you're going to the negative and be like, no, I get to have this problem right now.

I get to find the solutions for this. I get, you know, this is a problem of my own making because I did the thing, you know? Yeah. I also, I think people lose the plot that we are here to experience things. This is what makes us human. This is the whole point of it. I love this. Louise is saying dealing with stress is a growing moment. It's also like a growing movement too, right? Like you think people are more stressed or are we just talking about it more? I think we're more stressed. I think, you know, not to go back to the the overload of information we have now, I think, for us humans right now, with technology with everything I do personally, this is my opinion that we are more stressed than before, because we have more stimulus than ever

before. And more stimulus is more things for our brain to process so our brains i think are going on overdrive um so i do think but to that to that point it is one of those things where sometimes you wish you could go to the future because you know future you is looking back being like you will get through this yeah if you just stop and enjoy the moment because that will pass and you are going to wish you enjoyed it more. Yes. But present us, these silly us's, we get lost in the kerfuffle. It's like we fall for the trap. If we just, and I don't want to use this phrase, but sometimes disassociate and see ourselves as these video games, this awareness, it can put things in perspective. We are being tested you are the lead in your movie

and when you're watching from an audience you know that it's going to work out for you but the audience is like imploring you to like slow down and just enjoy it because it will be figured out in the end there was like 14 different metaphors in that i don't know it's the weekend after the time change i don't know what's coming out at this point but like it's like this is my therapy session you're gonna have to send me a bill um i i used to do this thing called i rise above rise above not you're better than that's not what i mean and what i mean is like take yourself out of the situation sometimes that saying can't see the forest from the trees is confusing. I'm just like, what does that mean? It's like rise above the situation and see it for what it really is. And it's that saying like how much is this that you're stressing about going to matter five years from now?

And sometimes I do this thing where I chase – I call it chasing cars where this is happening. And then this and that. And I just constantly – I'm just in the state of fucking stress all day long you're and it's you're like attaching to everything and you're like you're getting carried away with everything everything is snowballing yeah yes you're like tethered to your problems you're so you can't i was gonna say forest from the trees but you you can't see perspective so i like what you did rising above like it's like the bird's eye perspective of your life yes and i think in a way that is a form of like non-reactivity like separating yourself from your problem separating yourself from the thing at hand just a little bit

create space between the stimulus and yourself i mean and that's the whole point of resiliency and the stress talk that we talk about so much is not being as reactive to it. Okay. Yeah. How do you do this? Because I was talking about exactly this on the live this morning. I was like, people need to take time. It's like, you're being reactive. People know I'm disappointed.

I'm frustrated. I'm this. I'm stressed out. I'm la, la, la, la. And people just carry on like that without like, I like to ground myself before I get out of bed, just kind of harmonize my day, like actually give some thought and be like, not what's wrong with me. What is going on with me? Why do I keep saying this specific word?

Like, what does that mean? What's the meaning? So I think people don't take the time. They don't take the time. Do you have tips for this? It becomes, it's, it kind of is one of those frustrating things where it is a muscle that you have to cultivate, you know, this is where, I mean, there are things you can do in the moment. There are, you know, and I don't, and when we're stressed out, we don't want to hear

this, but you know, you know, the breathing, the, uh, the meditations you can do all that short-term stuff that can calm yourself in the moment, but you need to train your body before those stressful moments hit. Yeah. And when you do more of it, when you create that space, I always say like doing the work, meditating, breath work, taking time in the morning, what you're doing is creating like a force field and perspective between you and whatever is going to come up on that day, whatever problems you will be faced with, you're creating that bubble around yourself. So yes, something may be stressful. But when you've cultivated this sense of calm, when you've fed your system in the stressful, but when you've cultivated this sense of calm, when

you've fed your system in the right way, when you've done the breath work or the meditation or the yoga, whatever your way in, when you do that, it creates this force field. So the things that might take you down won't take you down as much. So it is one of those things where stress is inevitable and we don't always want to do it, but it's the times when we're kind of just feeling okay. And yeah, nothing's, nothing's wrong. Nothing's right. We're just kind of, okay. That's the time when you do want to do the work so that when you're faced with things down the road, your body's adaptable, you're like a resilient, you're, you're like,

um, an inflatable tube, man. Like it doesn't matter. Things can happen left, right, and center, but you, you are calm. It's not about what you're doing in the moment. It's building that bubble. It's building that up because when you are being triggered mentally or you're in a stress, people have to understand it's happening physically in your body. I think a lot of anxiety comes from that. The thought of something creates like a physical, either like physical, like you feel it in your body.

You're stressed out, you're tense, you're whatever, or, or even worse can lead to chronic issues that you're not like chronic pain in the body, back issues, whatever that you are, that you are feeling. Oh, so I love that. So it's, it's the things you're doing in the moment that may seem insignificant that really create that, that resist resiliency barrier or that, you know, yes. Like you're doing things, you're doing things daily that you might not even recognize. It's actually, I mean, chances are, if you're doing it like a five minute meditation, you're going to feel better after, but it's those things where when you're not faced with a stressor, you're like, yeah, I'm meditating.

I think it, I think it's working. Like, I think it's fine. Yeah. I'm taking my omega three. I'm doing the things, things are okay, But it's sometimes not until we're faced with a stressor that otherwise would take you down that you realize, oh, I actually was pretty calm through that. And that would have taken me down. It's like, that's what you work for. And we human beings just get adapted so fast. We might not even recognize that we actually would have gotten a lot more stressed

out had we not done those other things. Because we forget, we get used to what we're doing, and it can become really easy to not acknowledge all the steps we've taken, if that makes sense. It makes perfect sense. And this will really resonate with people who are in the maintenance group, because we talk about this in weight loss. So you've gone and lost your weight, and then something traumatic happens. And then it immediately pulls you back into old habits. And sometimes that leads to people gaining weight back. And I'm like, yeah, but that you didn't know better. You didn't have the tools. Now that that has happened, what are some of the tools you can implement on a daily basis so that you don't have as big a reaction next time something big happens in your life?

You have the tools to be like, okay, the last time I was stressed out on this level or this big event happened in my life, this is what I did. That didn't really work for me. Here's what I can do now. But you don't gain those tools without the experience of those things happening. Exactly.

And I think it's a trickier thing. And I know everyone, when you're on the weight loss journey, I know this is the maintenance and mindfulness group. When you're on the journey, it's, it's a little more, and I'm not sure this is the right word, but exciting, right? Cause you're in the thing, you're doing the thing, you're seeing the results, everything's, you know, and then it's a lot harder sometimes when you're just kind of in the abyss, you know, you're just at normal life. Existing. Existing. Yeah. But I think when faced with a stressor that otherwise would take you

down, recognize that no, there's a lot more in your toolbox and your new experience. We often think that we're going to be the people we were 20 years ago or 10 years ago. Like, oh, that's automatically how I'm going to cope with a stressful situation. It's who I am. It's how I do things. But you've done, we don't acknowledge that we've done so much work up until this point that we're not the same people. And even if we were to cope in the way that we did 10 years ago, that doesn't define anything. We can have a mistake, we can do it, but we have a breadth of tools in our toolbox to pick us up next time should we want to use them, right? We underestimate all the things we've picked up along the way. And I think we underestimate our strength. We're just those little kids, right? Sometimes we just,

it's really easy to be scared. It's really easy to think we're going to default in a bad way. But oftentimes, especially if you're doing the work on the boring days where nothing's really that exciting, we underestimate all that foundation that it gives us for when we're faced with that next stressful event? Well, because the reality is we do default. If we don't recognize and own our shit and are real about it, we keep going back into, you know, you keep having the same conversation with someone where you just act like a child. You probably, there's something there for you that you need to work on or work through to grow up when it comes to whatever that trigger is, you know, and I love this because say it in a different way. Like, I'm assuming you believe that people are, I believe people are here to learn. People are here to grow, to evolve, but you have to actively want to do that and you have to take actionable steps. But I don't know that people sometimes see that. It's, and this is,

they don't see that. And it's hard work. And it's never-ending work. That's the thing. Yes. So there can be this level of exhaustion. And especially if you're dealing with some underlying things right now, it can be easy to throw in the towel and say, well, screw it. I've been doing all this work and I still feel like crap. That's not reason to not do the work. It's reason to acknowledge that it's tough. Um,

but it's a brave thing you're doing. Like, do you know how many people just don't do any self-reflection or don't do any personal development work or they roll their eyes at the entire concept because they're scared of change. I think it's really important to acknowledge how far you've come and take pride in the fact that you're doing the work. And, you know, I know it's sometimes hard to hear, but, you know, it's about the journey. It's about the journey. And when we're tired, we don't want to hear that. But it is about the journey, guys.

Yeah. Life is just one big continuation. Yeah. Some shit to the next shit and fun stuff in between. And yeah. And the fact that people are in this group right now, like, do you know how many people would do a challenge or group and then just leave and be like, okay, I did it. But I'm, I'm, it takes, so this is just my kudos to everyone in this group. Like you are continuing to do the work

and find community, which is such a big part of any personal development journey, ironically, but, um, so just applaud yourselves. And we so quickly get used to what we're doing. And that turns into underestimating ourselves automatically because it's like, oh, yeah, well, I did it. But, you know, if someone else did we put our energy into? And are we just done? And now we've realized that you're not done. In fact, this is really where the real work begins because now you're in tune, right? Now you're in tune. You know what your body needs. You can't go through life with blinders on anymore. And doing the program puts you in tune, not just with when to eat, what to eat, how much to eat, but minding your own business, being in tune to your body, puts you in tune with everything in the universe across the board. Knowing what works, what doesn't.

And I think people end up extra feely. And so when it comes to stress outside of food, it's just like, oh, wow, wait, wait a minute. What's going on here? And that's just as much work as trying to lose weight. Yeah, it absolutely is. And especially if you have hit that weight loss goal, and that goal is quote, unquote, you know, checked for you. Yeah, chances are, there's kind of, like you said, other things are going to bubble up. And you've essentially you've gotten control over one area of your life that maybe for

a long time was the topic because you didn't have control over that. So finally that's done. But all of a sudden, once that's done, everything else starts popping up sometimes. And that's where problems are inevitable. Stressors are inevitable, but that's where you do the work to support your foundation in a way that works for you so that you can look at that stress logically and not have whatever stressors in your life take you down and get you sucked up in them you can look at things from a greater perspective so you don't get sucked up in them like the amount of times that and we depending on the day you can have a stressor come up and have a completely derail your day like an email from a co-worker that you just can't stand and just derail your day. That's going to happen. But other days,

if you're doing the work and you're doing the things that email won't take you down as much, right? So it's, it's a matter of time, especially in this group to do the things that support your stress response so that you can assess your stressors from a grown-up perspective instead of that little child and you looking at all the big adult stressors that you have to deal with. Yes. In case nobody's told you, weight loss goes beyond the old just eat less and move more narrative. And that's where Felix comes in. Felix is redefining weight loss for Canadians with a smarter, more personalized approach to help you crush your health goals this year. Losing weight is about more than diet and exercise.

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Peloton. Visit Peloton at onepeloton.ca. Yes. Yes. Okay. So what is that? What are those things? Oh my gosh. It's actually pretty simple. No, it's, it's, I mean, there's a, there's a bunch of different things, right? We could go for the, for the mind stuff. Um, that's where I believe, uh, acknowledging your feelings and doing things like meditation every day or breath work or that, like that is a major component. From a body perspective, especially if you're going through the time, that's when you want to give your adrenal glands the building blocks that they need to cope with the stress that you are going to be faced with. That's where omega-3 becomes really important in my opinion. That's where extra vitamin C becomes really important because when you're stressed, your adrenal glands,

which are your stress glands, house some of the highest concentrations of vitamin C in your body. So when you are under more stress, you're going to go through vitamin C more quickly, magnesium more quickly. So vitamin C, magnesium supplementation, and omega-3 are kind of my three stress ones. And then the other ones um are of course things like adaptogens which used to be like i used to talk about this and no one knew what they were but now they're becoming they're mainstream right you know ashwagandha is the big one uh which is which is a great one um holy basil tea is another one these are herbs that help your body cope with stress so if you're feeling run down, they'll bring you up.

If you're feeling a little high strung, they'll bring you down. What I like about adaptogens is that they physically, in different mechanisms, but they physically go in and ground your system a little bit more so you're a little bit more stable when going out into the world. And of course, in terms of the way you eat, you know, the living method is wonderful because blood sugar management is key for how you cope with stress. And everything in the living method applies to proper blood sugar management control. So that's great too. But those are some pillars to think about when it comes to really laying the groundwork for a solid foundation and supporting your microbiome, of course. Yeah.

I mean, I think this is conversations that our members have heard before. I think the brilliancy of the conversation today is just arriving at that place that you're like, oh, okay, yes, I need to give this a little extra time and attention and I need to take steps and put it into action. And get ahead of it. Like, especially if you're, if you have the luxury of like, yeah, things are okay right now, get ahead of like, it's just like working out, like become stronger now. So that when faced with a stressor down the line, you're okay. And the perfect example would be like seasonal affective disorder, which we're not feeling right now. Well, maybe you are some people experience it right now, but we have this tendency to forget that we've experienced it before you know until we're in

the thick of things but doing things like getting ahead of it now doing the things that support it now will make for a much better winter and hopefully you won't experience it either as much or at all going into the winter if you're doing some standard things now yes we know this is coming and i think everyone feels this i think whether you have it diagnosed this is what i'm dealing with or you just feel like already i'm i'm thinking about january and february and i'm already just like tired i can like feel bags under my eyes i can feel my energy i can just i feel cold i feel like depressed and I'm not even in only because that's my, that I can reflect back on that time of year and be like, okay,

that's how I feel at that time of year. And I can try to go skiing, which I'm going skiing. I'm trying to keep myself busy, trying to keep up with my vitamin D levels, but it's always a tad bit depressing. And so what, why do you think it is? What, just to say it out loud, why do you think people are, why is seasonal affective disorder such a thing? Yeah. I mean, it is a real thing. This is where it's, it's funny because it's like, they say that the exact, the exact cause for seasonal, seasonal affective disorder isn't fully understood, which is fair, but we can all kind of put two and two together and figure out why we're feeling so crappy in the winter months

largely a lack of sunlight and the darker the darker nights the long the longer darkness of course it's going to affect us dark signals melatonin production right it's darker earlier we're going to be more tired. A lot of people experience drop in serotonin during the winter, which has us reaching for more carbs to boost that serotonin. So in terms of the reason seasonal affective disorder exists, it's a combination in theory of lack of sunlight and low vitamin D levels. Those are the two biggest ones. Women also are more likely to experience it than men, but I think everyone does experience it on some levels. Yeah. And the combination of increased melatonin for a lot of us and decreased serotonin is like

well-documented. So it is a thing. And we also have to remember that, you know, we're all, I think we kind of mask it before the holidays because we have that like jolt of excitement for Christmas coming up. And then we all crash after the Christmas thing in January. And we all know that January for whatever time travel reason is the longest month in the history of the world. And then February goes like that. But a lot of us just feel like crap. And there, you know, there are things we can do. But I think the first thing is acknowledging it for those who feel even the people who say no, I don't I don't tend to deal with seasonal affective disorder fine. But they might be exhibiting some of the symptoms of

it, even if it's something like irritability or they just aren't getting as much work done because they're having trouble concentrating or they're yawning more than normal. So they can say that they don't really feel it, but you, the bystander and the spouse of that person not feeling it knows very well that they're probably experiencing it

more than they let on, you know? Should we fight it or should we just go with it like should we just get in our pajamas at four o'clock should we just like shut her down early like is it the combination of trying to fight it like is there is there like uh this is just who we are in like well i mean we should yeah so i think let's have the government just send us subs like money all winter and we can just sit inside and just do that. That'd be great. So I think there is a mix. I think there is a mix where sometimes you have to honor it. You do have to honor how you're feeling.'s starting to affect your ability to get your responsibilities done, and you know that's going to cause you more stress down the line, when it's affecting your relationships, that's when it's like, okay, I've honored it, but maybe I need a little extra support. So it's always kind of a a little extra support. So it's a, it's, it's, it's always kind of a balance. It's not denying it. It's giving yourself the rest that you need that you probably

aren't giving yourself, but it's also being able to support yourself. So it doesn't take you completely down. So this is such a, uh, a valuable conversation for people, but let's, let's talk about that extra support that people need. So you're maxing out everything you can take in your supplements, trying to listen to all the advice call gives us what's your, like, what's your breaking point for therapy? Like at what point is it just, this is the way we're living our lives.

Life is stressful. It's the season it's dark. And there's something more going on where it's like, I just can't actually handle. It's a really good question. I wish therapy was like subsidized and free for everyone, because I think we should just all be in it. Like I wish it was so it wasn't so expensive. But I think and I think everyone in this group is very in tune with themselves,

especially after going through the program. I think that's when getting still with yourself, because chances are you you know, before someone would tell you that it's time, like something's not right. You can feel that little light being a little dimmer than normal. I say if it's going if we're looking at like a time if it's going on for longer than a week, two weeks, seek help. And talk it out. Like I am not a licensed therapist. I don't know the exact timeline. But I'd say a week to two weeks is a long time if you're really becoming a shell of yourself at that point. Yeah. You need to seek help.

And especially if you're doing all the things and nothing seems to really be working. Yeah. I think that's a good point. Okay. Satellite. This is satellite. yeah i think that's a yeah that's that's such a good point okay um i know we don't have a sad light this is a sad light this is my like my plea for people to get a sad light therapy lamp because that okay that is the biggest game changer for a lot of people myself included a lot of people that i work with like just in the morning like right now starting with a sad light for 30 minutes you don't need to go longer than that really yeah like i have mine right now and

the sooner you start it getting ahead of seasonal affective disorder like when i say get ahead of it this is really what i mean like vitamin d but really start light therapy right now and there's there's a lot now on the market they're so cheap a lot of them yeah but there's what am i looking for do you know i know you're not probably a satellite no like um 10 000 lux is the number if you go on amazon look for a light therapy lamp they'll all be pretty standard um and don't get it confused with like red light therapy which is also great but a satellite is different than a red light therapy lamp it's essentially just like i have mine like here i just have it on the go. This is what it looks like. I'm going to order as soon as we get off.

You don't have one? No, I don't want to have one. Oh, they really, I cannot sing its praises. And to the point where like I keep it on in the research, it's, I'll turn it off. In the research, it's like 30 minutes. You don't need to go more than that. But sometimes I'll just keep it on. Like there's no harm in just keeping it on. And when I find I'm needing an extra energy boost, I'll just keep it

on, but not past 12 o'clock because it is that effective that if you use it in the evening, you're going to have issues falling asleep. Well, because this comes down to that getting that light, that natural sunlight in your eyes first thing in the morning. But now we are like, we're coming home from work. It's dark. We're getting up. It's dark. It's like, we're not, we don't have those same patterns and routine. Okay. We're in that sweet spot right now where I think for the last, you know, we wake up at like six 30, it's light now, but in like 10 days, it's going to be like seven 30. Uh, but for those who haven't tried it before, it really is, it really is something, um, as close to waking up as possible. It really can make a really can make a difference um with that and of course getting outside is a big one when it

comes to seasonal affective disorder even if you don't want to get outside when it's freezing outside they've um found that even just positioning your workstation to face outside in some way yeah I think Kyle's a little frozen. Let's give him a minute. I hear some of you are talking about the satellite is on sale at Costco right now. Yeah. Oh, we're back. Hey there. Hello. Hello. Hi. Well, there you go. You see me. Okay. We're back. Hello. Hello. Hi. Well, there you go. Can you see me? Okay. We're back. Yeah. We're back. I mean, you're a little fuzzy, but you're kind of back. That's strange. I can see. I can see you. I can see the countdown too. I'm not sure if you can

hear me. I can hear you now. There, I can see you. Okay. I'm not sure if it's my like I can still see the time going when it's freezing I just can't see you yeah because I'm on it sometimes it's interesting because it'll like it'll freeze for me in real time but then I see the

playback and it's totally fine so that's the same thing when I record for the podcast it's the same thing it's very frustrating because it it's clear but it doesn't, it, it screws up the whole thing essentially. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Like this whole conversation now it's all messed up. We'll have to have it again. We'll have to have you back. We're all messy all the time. You know, we're all, we're all just doing the best we can. Well, I will say like, we're all big kids in the

playground. We're just, we're just doing the best I can. And I like the more messy, the better. So yeah, I'm not recording wise. I know. I will. Um, I'll take that as a cue that our time is up and I appreciate your time. I do want to have you come back because there are seasons, seasons, and then there are seasons of our life. And then there are bigger moments when, uh, stuff is going on, but I'm sure it all comes down to the same conversation. It's, it's the resiliency that you're building day by day by day and acquiring the tools that you need to be able to deal with even the biggest things in life. Yeah. And recognize that you are putting in the work, right? Don't underestimate the little things that are getting you further and making you stronger. Like, especially when you're not seeing the results right away, like when you're, you know,

you just kind of feel the same, but you're still doing the things don't discount that it's going to make you stronger in the long run. Um, yeah. Cause you, you know, you owe it to yourself. It's that, it's that breaking point, that threshold, right? Sometimes you feel like you're just doing everything and nothing is adding up. And then one day you're like, Oh, Oh, or something happens. You're like, Oh, I handled that differently. Or yeah, I can, I can look back over the last like five years of my life and there was some moments where I just, I don't even know where I was or what I was doing. I was just a hot mess. And now that I reflect back, I'm like, woo, I did not handle that well.

Oh, I did not have, but in the moment I was doing the best I can, but in recognizing, even though it wasn't, it was messy, I still made an effort to make change in my life. And somehow, some way it's got me to a place. There's a lot going on in my life right now. And a good friend of mine said, man, you are handling what's happening in your life so much better. Like it's like night and day. Do you feel that way though? I do. Yeah, I do. I'm feeling, I said to Tony the other day, I'm feeling better mentally and physically than I have in a really long time. I'm also doing the work. I'm also doing the work.

And it's not to say that when you do all this work, it's not that you won't have the bad moments and you won't feel bad. Like that's the, don't think that if you react to something that you have failed, that the stuff that you are doing is not working. Like you have to give yourself grace and we are humans. We will react to something that you have failed that the stuff that you are doing is not working like you have to give yourself grace and we are humans we will react to things it's not about perfectionism it's not about becoming like a zen you know buddhist that will not react to anything um it is it's just a matter of yes that situation but how quickly you bounce back if you reacted poorly something do you do you let it stay with you do Do you let it take you down? Do you just become like this ball of

anger that just, Oh, I screwed up and that's it. Or do you say, Oh, okay. You know what? I was a little reactive there, but I'm going to forgive myself for that. And we're going to keep going. You know, that's the difference. And it's, it's hard to do. It is hard to do, but it's a, it's part of the journey. Well, it is hard to do. I think people do at old school, they berate themselves, they get on themselves. They try to like force themselves. They, you know, they're like, Oh, what's wrong with you? And you got to this and that, rather than having compassion for yourself. I think that's, that's your way in. That's your way in. And if you think about it, when you berate yourself and you're angry for how you handled the situation, you are essential, like essentially screwing yourself over twice. You're over twice because the stressful event got you and that put your physiology in a, you know,

a thunderstorm. And then instead of kind of balancing that and giving yourself grace and kind of letting yourself off the hook, you double down and cement yourself into the ground afterwards, giving you even more physiological disturbances, giving you an even bigger thing to climb out from. So you can think of giving yourself grace and balance as medicine. Like it is the antidote to that trauma, that stressful thing you just experienced. And it'll get you where you want to be faster

when you give yourself more grace for the times you screw up. And that there's a lot of guilt and there's a lot of shame in screwing up. And I had a conversation with someone that's like, no, no, no, it's not guilt. It's not shame. It may be regret. Maybe you regret decisions that you made. Maybe you regret how you handled that. Maybe you regret what you said, but at least regret, you can be like, learn from that and be

like, okay, I regret that I did that. And now I'm going to learn better to do better. And I'm going to change the way and count if I encounter that same situation again, how I'm going to handle it. Yeah. Right. It's how you bounce back and it's what you learn from it. Like we're supposed to mess up. We're supposed to mess up as humans. It's how we grow. But we think, and as we grow up that we're not supposed to, and even though we hear that we're supposed to fail, we hear that we're supposed to mess up when it's us, it still really hurts. And we think that it's really, really wrong. But if we just remember that, no, it's going to make us stronger. What can we learn from it? And if we come at it from that route, I think we get there faster, but it's, it is hard. I'm framing it though, by way of seasons. If you can like, just like we break down my, my weight loss program in digestible chunks of time, right? If you break it down into seasons, if the same shit keeps hitting you over the head like a two-by-four time and time again at the same time every year, that's a message for you to be like, oh, this shit keeps happening every year because I probably am not changing the things that I'm doing.

Or you need to acquire some more tools for your toolbox to help you actually make change. Absolutely. And I think we all can relate to that. It's like, oh, every year, like clockwork. And that's where it's like the power of habit is so underestimated, even though we talk about it a lot. And we know about it a lot. It's, it's insidious, the power of habit. So that's why the small things here and there that you, the smaller, the better, the more small and the more consistent that habit, the better, because that's how it really, really goes. So instead of throwing everything at yourself at once and doing all the things, start small and just do that thing once a day, like the satellite once a day, that all and see how you do. Anyway, yeah, it is. We, it's sometimes hard, but we get there.

Even if it takes, you know, 45 years of the same thing hitting us in the ass, that 46th year. And then we'll be proud of ourselves. And then if the 47th year happens all over again, well, that's fine we're just so damn hard on ourselves now we we get there and the thing is you just you have to do the work and i think everyone here is doing the work so just trust that it will pay off

yeah and and just and and and do the best that you can and just be you and i think this is that you know even if it's messy right even if it's messy, right. Even if it's messy. Yeah. And also when you're, when you're in the midst of change and things are, things are changing, that's when you are going to face all of your, all of your demons. And that's when it's going to kind of hurt the most. But that's when it's like, when you're watching the movie of someone, you're like, no, this is the, this is the challenge. You know, when you have to stand up for yourself, you're not going to want to stand up for yourself you're not going to want to do the things it doesn't happen that way it comes all at once and um you know that's the part of transformation like that's the part where you come out the other end be like oh because it's not

going to be the perfect situation when you do all have to do all the things and summon up all the courage it's going to be the most challenging, sometimes dire situations where you're like, oh, this doesn't feel great, but I'm going to power up and I'm going to get it done. And that's when it happens. When we're faced with discomfort, of course, we want to run and do the easy thing. But that's oftentimes when the people who are watching you, your movie are like, no, keep going. It will be worth it. It's kind of like dating where, you know, the person, my daughter has a friend and she's like, she keeps dating these guys. I'm like, cause she hasn't done the work.

She's just keep putting the same energy out there. She keeps having the same type. Unless she just like takes time, reflects on herself and does the work. She's just going to keep attracting the same guy over and over and over and over. Is this your daughter's friend? Yes.

I have a friend going through the same, the same thing. And it was, it was literally, we've just been watching for years. The most douchiest of guys. Yes. Douchiest of guys.

Anyways, like at heartbreak after heartbreak, and it becomes a thing where it's like, we know how the script is going to go and we're going to support you because that's what friends do but she did the she really doubled down this year and kind of did all the hard work and got into therapy and was doing did all the stuff and it was looking bleak for a while because it still wasn't working out and she was really losing hope and then two months ago, she met this, this guy that used to be her neighbor, and it's a good guy. And she's happy. And I see this genuine person, a genuine happiness that I

haven't seen. And it's just interesting when seeing, you know, it's different when it's you, you can't really see it as well. But seeing it from another person who is doing the work. And when you see them do the work and we hear this like when you do the work and what when you remove the things that you didn't realize were holding you back things just become easier alignment happens and that's i'm seeing it in real time with my everything is just work career everything and she did so much work on herself and it's just fantastic to see because even from like the outside and it's even more so when it's you feeling it we were thinking like she's been

doing it for a while like she really should have a win by now right like there should be something she's even we were like the audience like cliffhanger so it's just so gratifying to be like oh no this stuff does work when you put in the work, things become easier. But sometimes you put in the work. Yeah. When you, when you, and when you trust your gut, you follow your instinct and you do the things that you know, in the moment that you need to do, that's when things are aligning that. Absolutely. I love that. Uh, as you know, I love you. I adore conversations. Um, thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you for, thank you for joining us today. Thanks everyone watching and everyone, uh, being part of the conversation and listening after the

fact. So you can reach out to Kyle and I see you have a lot of fans already. Everyone listening to your podcast, feel goodery available on all podcast platforms. You can also find them over on Instagram. He shares some great tips over there. It's Kyle B and he also has a website as well. Kyle Buchanan.ca. So, um, plus he'll be back. He's just family now. So this group is something special. You're something special. I hope good luck grace this week, everyone. It's going to be a big energetic week with a whole bunch of stuff, obviously, but also the week after the time change, it might feel a little bit rocky. So let's just be aware of it. Okay. Grace. All right. Give ourselves grace. Be aware of it. It's going to be,

yes, messy, maybe messy. Let's embrace the messy. Yeah. Embrace the chaos. you