The Livy Method Podcast - Maintenance & Mindfulness: Maintenance Midweek Motivation - January 15, 2025

Episode Date: January 15, 2025

This week, Gina and Odette tackle the big one: self-sabotage. From planting seeds of doubt about maintaining your weight to reframing old mindsets that no longer serve you, they're breaking it all down. Discover how being in maintenance can redefine your self-identity and amplify the positive changes you've made. With practical tips to turn away from sabotage and envision a healthier future, plus finding your mantra to solidify your maintenance mindset, this episode goes beyond the surface talk and goes deep into the discussions happening in maintenance.You can find the full video hosted at:https://www.facebook.com/groups/ginalivymaintenanceandmindfulnessTo learn more about The Livy Method, and our Maintenance & Mindfulness group, visit www.ginalivy.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm Gina Livi and welcome to the Livi Method Podcast. This is where you'll have access to all of the live streams from my 91 Day Weight Loss program. With a combination of daily lives, guest expert interviews, and member stories, there is something new almost every day. Miss the Morning Live? Want to relisten to one of our amazing guest experts? Well, this is the place.

This podcast is hosted on Acast, but it's available on all podcast platforms, including the one you're listening to right now, Spotify, Apple, and Amazon Music. I wanna stop right here and take a minute to hear from our new sponsor. It's a good one, and they are offering a promo code, so you're gonna wanna listen up.

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for more intense workouts, a fabric that helps you power through every rep. However you choose to move, Joe Fresh has you covered. And here is the promo code. It is Livy Method 25. Just use the code when you check out online at joefresh.com or through the Joe Fresh app. Well, here we are, our maintenance midweek motivation. Are you ready to get motivated? So here we are, our maintenance midweek motivation. Are you ready to get motivated? So here we are, week one of the program.

This first week is all about solidifying your maintenance mindset. Joining me as always is Odette, who of course you all know as the manager of the maintenance program. We're gonna get into where you are at, but we need to continue our conversation that we started on Monday.

So if you are unaware, every Monday at 12 o'clock, we do a whole Monday motivation session for you talking about the guidelines, the tweak each week, and then we just want to pop in midweek and continue that conversation. So first of all, hi, hello. Hi, hello. How are you? How are you doing? How is everyone feeling? Good. I think it's we are still on a bit of a high in terms of, you know, just starting the program. We're in week one. So everyone's feeling good. I think they're really thankful for some of these reminders that are coming out. You know, they're seeing these posts that are coming out

as reminders. So there's a lot of gratitude and thankfulness around that. But with that, they're also bringing up, it's also bringing up some things maybe they haven't thought about in a little while. So I think there's, you know, a bit of a mix there. So it's, it's good. It's a good week. Great. So last week we talked and touched upon sabotage. It's a conversation I know that we were having over in the weight loss program. There's a lot of parallels. The maintenance program is the same but different, the same 91-day structure but completely different in terms of the focus from week to week and some of the things that you're dealing with

when you're working on your maintenance journey. But self-sabotage is something that happens, yes, when you're starting your weight loss journey just as you're finishing your weight loss journey throughout your weight loss journey, but also very much in maintenance. And you work so hard to get here, the last thing that you want to do is sabotage your efforts. So let's talk a little bit about that. What do we need to talk about when it comes to sabotage? Well, I think one of the things that we, you know, with sabotage is we get stuck on this word sabotage. It can be a heavy word. And I think that members, they start thinking,

I've sabotaged myself and they're held down by this word. And I think if we, you know, we're talking shifting mindsets here and just looking looking at it as a bump in your journey, it's a learning opportunity so much as being bogged down by, oh, I've sabotaged myself. I've ruined everything. I can't pull myself out of this. Where it's like, oh, yep, I've sabotaged myself. This is the mindset I need.

It's a bump in the road. I need to just move forward from it. I think so that's the first thing that we want to, you know, just bring to light with sabotage is that yeah, you know, we got to call it what it is. Let's not sugarcoat it. Let's call it what it is. But maybe let's have it mean something a little bit different. I like this. I just googled what what is the meaning of sabotage deliberately destroy? I don't think sometimes people are deliberately doing anything.

Damage or obstruct something, especially for political or military advantage. I mean, obviously we're not doing that around here. The action of sabotaging something. So I mean, maybe sabotage isn't the right word. Maybe it's something else because you're probably not deliberately trying to ruin all the hard work and what you have achieved.

Maybe it's, what other word would it be? I don't know. Like I said, I don't think we wanna not call it what it is because that is what it is. And I think that sabotage can show up in seemingly harmless ways that people don't even know that that's exactly what it is. So what other word would it be? It would be maybe a distraction, like a way of distracting yourself away from having to deal with what is coming, you know, not allowing yourself to go into where you need to go to get to where you wanna get to. So it's a distraction maybe, maybe you're self distracting versus self sabotaging.

Maybe that's the mindset of where we are now. Or fear. I think this is where it comes down to the cognitive behavioral therapy model. What's going on? What are you struggling with? Like if you're sabotaging yourself, chances are things aren't going so well for you and you've got a lot of big feels.

So what is that about? And this is that cognitive behavioral therapy model that she shared with us. Is it your thoughts? Is it your feelings or is it behavior? And really put a name to it. Like, what are you having a hard time with? Or what are you having big feels about? And sabotage to your point

can mean a variety of different things. I mean, people can sabotage themselves out of fear of success. The closer they get to their goals, they start sabotaging because they actually believe, oh my goodness, this is possible. I can actually achieve this. The fear of course of a failure as well, right?

Is self-sabotage a one-off behavior or an ongoing thing? Oh, that's a great question. So self-sabotage, let me use the example that I use. You all heard me say the planting the seeds of doubt. So one of the things that's like a big, I don't wanna say red flag, but you know, it just is so obvious to me I use, you all heard me say the planting the seeds of doubt. So one of the things that's like a big, I don't wanna say red flag, but you know, it just is so obvious to me when we have people

starting the program and there's a couple of different things. One is where they start just complaining. Oh my goodness, this is so overwhelming. Oh, I don't know how I'm gonna be able to, I can't watch all of the lives. There's no way I can watch all the lives. The lives are not even mandatory. Yes, it's a lot of information,

but all you got to read over is the guidelines, right? Oh, I don't, you know, I can't drink all this water and I, or I can't do that. And they're just making statements, not asking for help, not coming to any realization. Just really want to just throw out statements. And I will go and check on the person because I want to make sure everyone's okay. And how can I help this person?

Literally, it's just a list. That's all they're doing is making these comments. And so to me, they're what I call planting the seeds of doubt. And we do this ourselves. We do this ourselves. And what they are is planting the seeds of doubt or like excuses for a lack of a better word so that when you quit, so when you fail, so when it doesn't work for you, you have a trail of excuses or reason.

Oh yeah, well I knew it wasn't going to work because I couldn't this, I couldn't that, I couldn't this, whatever. Meanwhile, not asking for help, not trying to figure out a way, not making the changes they needed to make. To me, that can be self-sabotage, but I do truly believe people who don't do that don't really realize that they're doing it. Another sabotage is people who we tell them, it's normal for your weight not to drop, it's normal for the scale to go up before it goes down. It's all about progress over perfection. And it's people like, well, I messed up this week,

I might as well just wait and start again. Or I'm so frustrated, I'm devastated the scale isn't moving, I can't believe I gained weight, I lost it, and I gained it back. And just not really being open to receiving the truth about how things work and the truth behind real sustainable weight loss. And to me, that's not wanting to see and just being feel what you feel and know what you know and not being open is another form of sabotage. I think where it's you're

you're working against yourself. So so I don't know that's a one it could just be a one off thing, I think in some circumstances, and it could also be an ongoing thing. I think that, yeah, you know, in terms of a one-off thing, it can come up in different areas. So I think if you have an awareness of that it's happening in one area, you're going to notice it in a different area. So you notice it maybe in your weight loss journey, that was a one-off thing, but now here you are in a different place and you're noticing it again, is this another one-off thing or is it a continuation? And what you said there, like people don't want to see. And I feel like our members in maintenance are not, they're not worried about, they're not fearful

of maintaining their weight. They're fearful of what that means. You know, what does it mean if I have to maintain my weight? Does that mean my life? Like I've said for so many years, as soon as my life changes, I'm going to be so much happier. As soon as this changes, I'll be so much happier. Well, guess what? It's changing now and you're here and you're uncomfortable in that space because you don't know what that's going to look like.

So I don't think you're afraid of or that fear is maintaining your weight because I think you really truly know somewhere that you can do it. It's just what does that mean? What do I what is going to be different? What do I am I going to be losing things when I get there? How different are things going to be when I get there? So maybe I don't want to get there. Whatever I have to give up. I had a really interesting conversation with Ruth Cain the other day, as you know know Who's studying the Libby method? She's been talking to a lot of our members

in maintenance and you know that's sort of like she's like it's it's an awareness that the Members that she spoke to and she spoke to people who had been maintaining their weight for over two or more years She's like the people who have been easily maintaining their weight for over two or more years have a just an understanding that they've made Changes in their life and this is who they are now They know that they can't go back to what they did or how they lived before and they're perfectly happy with that because the changes That they made and how they're living it's making them happier. They are healthier And yes, it's change and change can be very uncomfortable, but they're just like, I can't go back. I'm not going back.

I don't want to go back. And so I think it's that awareness of understanding the real changes you need to make. And the fact, maybe the awareness that you have to make change. You can't go back into the life you were living before because you were the result of that, the way you were living. You are a result of the choices that you were living before, because you were the result of that, the way you were living.

You are a result of the choices that you were making, and now you've made all these other choices, and you have to sustain and maintain that. But to your point, I think sometimes people are afraid of that. What are they losing? What are they giving up? And some other people in their lives are afraid of that too.

Maybe your spouse or your friends or whatever. I think it comes down to change. I want to go through some of these. I want to read. We're talking about another word for self-sabotage. Is it self-criticism? Self-criticism can be a form of sabotage. Absolutely too hard on yourself, trying to berate yourself. You're not good enough. For sure. I tried to figure out why I gouge on junk food when my husband leaves the house. That is my self-sabotage, right?

Is it your self-sabotage or is it a coping mechanism? What does that mean? Let's get into that. Yeah, like is it, because you would never do that in front of him, so now you're doing that. Is that like a, it's a behavior that you're trying to hide from him

or is this yeah self like a like you said a coping mechanism self-comforting he's not there how do I comfort myself? I don't think it's just the action of gouging I think it's the reason why like you said let's get into the reason why you're you're doing that behavior. Or does this go back to when you were a young child did you have to sneak food? Like I remember my ex-husband, I mean mind you he came from an abusive, he had an abusive dad at the time, stepfather I should say at the time, and he wasn't allowed to eat food without asking for permission or could only eat at certain times and so he would sneak into the kitchen and sneak food at night until the day he died, not to the day he died,

cause he couldn't get out of his hospital bed, but he did that. He did that. I would catch him eating two o'clock, three o'clock. I'm like, what are you doing? I'm just having, I'm like, it's, you're the ad that you can eat whatever you want. What's your deal with that was an issue that stemmed from

like, I know that scene may seem a little extreme, but you never know where it stems from, right? That when they're not there, or maybe it's just just you're just dying for a moment to yourself, just some peace and you can't eat and think at the same time. So you just want to just like, everyone fucking leave me alone. Who knows, right? Yeah. And it feels good, right? You're still, that emotion is still tied to it feels good to have that food, to have that junk food and to go through that that behavior. Here's Kim, I use capture, cancel, correct. So this is again Dr. Beverly David, whole

concept is capture what you're doing, right? Cancel it, that's not true. And then correct it. I love that. Throughout the weight loss program, and now I use it every day in situations. So for instance, when I felt bored, which happened after hearing someone saying the word boredom, I captured the feeling and I really felt the word and honored my feels, and then I canceled it and corrected it by making sure I understand that it really isn't going to work for me anymore. Yeah, I think it's that awareness piece, that recognizing piece. I think it is like what we said off the top, I think this sabotage can happen in a way

that might seem harmless. So it's like, well, it can't be that bad. This can't be sabotage when you're blaming others or when you are, you know, just telling yourself that, oh, I deserve a treat or I deserve a break or I deserve this, that doesn't seem that harmful. But when you're not thinking about where those thoughts are coming from or why you're feeling that way, I think that's, you know, that's the awareness that you want to bring forward. I want to take a quick minute out here to introduce to you our new podcast sponsor, and we are so aligned.

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I saw this. So you sent me, Odette sends me notes for these segments and you included a comment from Carol. Sabotage, please continue this discussion in more depth on Wednesday. The word is wrapping, I'm going to come back to that word in a second, wrapping itself around me once again. I did so well after losing my weight and kept it off. Then I slipped and started spiraling, and now I'm literally feeding the spiral, a total mind F.

This has been true all of my life, yes, and continues to be so. First of all, I want to use the word wrapping because Ruth used this word. And she's like, your program is like, it wraps around everything. Like it encompasses everything. It's wrapping everything around, right?

Your food choices, your sleep, your movements, your moods. It's like what I say, when you did diets before you did certain things, your food choices, your sleep, your movement, your moods. It's like what I say, when you did diets before, you did certain things, always switching things up, doing this, doing that, and you did bits and pieces and got bits and pieces of results. And it is really about having everything that you're doing kind of work together and achieve that result when it comes to losing weight. So what does that mean when you're maintaining weight? I think it's maintaining all of the things,

all of the skills and the tools and the knowledge and the habits that you've wrapped yourself in. And so I just thought that was a really interesting word. I also really love that you recognize, and this is so true, the way we show up for ourselves when we're trying to lose weight is probably the way we show up for ourselves in life in general. And the way we approach trying to reach this goal is probably the way we approach every goal that we're trying to achieve in life. And so then what is this? This can be like not feeling worthy, right? This could

be you just feeling uncomfortable. Here's Risa. I think in the past when I got to my goal weight, I felt like it was now time to reward myself. And how did I do it? Food. Then I added the bits and bytes, which led to old habits. I'm already thinking about this as I'm approaching maintenance soon. I know it will be different because I'm going to continue doing all of the healthy habits, wrapping yourself in all your knowledge and all your habits. I've acquired because I feel so good and learn so much. I plan to get out of that old mindset.

You need to get, so that's what Carol needs to do. She needs to get out of that old mindset that I deserve those treats now. Throughout weight loss, I'm indulging. If I want then go back on track and then planning for that maintenance. So it's that spiral. I think what happens when you do the living mat that you feel so good that when you are off,

you feel really, really, really off. You are also just more in tune with everything. You know when to eat, what to eat, how much to eat, you know when something works for you, you know when it doesn't, when you feel really great, you feel really great, when you feel like balls, you feel like balls. And you know, it can seem like you are far off from getting back to that place that you were in. That maybe is disheartening when you've gone and accomplished this great thing, you're feeling really great, and now you feel like you've sabotaged that,

or you've ruined it, or you've done something that... And that feeling of having it being taken away from you when you've been there before, when you've lost the weight and then you gain it all back, it's not the same scenario, it's not the same situation, but it can feel like the same feeling. I think, yeah, like it can feel disheartening. Like it's been taken away from you. And I think, you know, just having these conversations and having people listen and having them take this as a learning opportunity that it does, it can be different this time. You know, that's where, this is how we talk about, how do you get past self-sabotage?

How do you pull yourself out of it? And we, you know, we know that in the beginning, it's hard to trust yourself, and it's hard to know that you are able to do this. But just by starting to believe it, starting to say it, that repetition is going to become your reality eventually, you know, even though you might not trust it yet, but, you know, instead of it, that repetition is going to become your reality eventually, even though you might not trust it yet. But instead of it letting you feel disheartened and like Carol said,

I feel like I've slipped and I'm spiraling. Well, now you've said that out loud. There's your awareness. This is the place where you can now turn that into something else. Talking about your past patterns and your past history and your past behavior. Now is the time you can break that. You know, this might also be the work that people didn't want to do. They also thought they would be done and they're just like, fuck. Yes. It's work. It's that feeling of I deserve a break. Look at how hard I've worked. Why is my reward not my reward yet? Why does it still feel like work? I've been working. I deserve a break. And I think when they're just focusing on where they are now and what is happening now versus this feeling that you have now can be a feeling

forever. Maybe not every day, day in, day out, but in general, you can have this feeling forever. And if you can just, you know, keep that at the top of the mind versus not feeling great right in this moment, I think that's where, how you pull through it, how you get on the other side. Yeah. You know, it's that cliché saying that life is about the journey, not the destination.

And I think a lot of people are still waiting. They thought, okay, I'm going to lose my weight. I'm going to have arrived. And then they realize, oh, shit, and then they're going to make it through maintenance. And then they're going to be able to enjoy their life. And then everything is going to be okay. And then I'm going to be happy. And, you know, I always come back to your, I had a friend of mine said,

and he'd since passed away, that your best life is today because today is the day you woke up. And if you're lucky enough to have lived another day, this is your best life, you're living your best life. And this is where, you know, how do you, what is your vision? When is it gonna be enough?

When are you going to get there? When are you, you know, what's motivating you to get there? It's a lot. I see this comment here from MJ. I'll be honest, I never visualized myself maintaining my weight once I was done losing. I didn't know what that looked like. And I didn't know how not to think about food

and the scale all the time when I didn't need to anymore. My whole life has been a weight loss journey and now I've arrived at the destination and it's a hugely scary unfamiliar place. I'll get to a place where it's no big deal and so will you. So we will all so will we all with guidance and support from each other. Isn't that the truth? It is this unfamiliar place. It is this place that you think, I want to make change. I want to be in this new place. And then you get there and you're like, whoa, this is not what I thought.

It's like the Wizard of Oz. You get to the Emerald City and you see the magnificent wizard and then he comes from behind the wall. And you're like, wait of Oz. Like you get to the Emerald City and you see the magnificent wizard and then out he comes from behind the wall and you're like, wait a minute, this is not what I signed up for. This is not what I was expecting. That's it. And then, you know, and then if you just, you know, stick around a little longer, it will be. That wizard gets you every time. Right. I'm reading another comment here.

I got away from the program, started doing things willy-nilly and wasn't paying attention to the little things that make up our success. And also I got away from listening to Gina's podcast. Big mistake, but hopefully I've caught myself and can get back to where I need to be. Okay. So how do people get back? How do people get back? What are some tips for that? Yeah, so I think the first thing is the awareness, right? Like it's really being honest with yourself

and what are you doing? Like are you really bored with the process? Are you really feeling like you deserve a break, you know? And why do you feel like you deserve a break? I think it's that awareness. Are you feeling fearful, you know? Where is it coming from? So I think it's that awareness. Are you feeling fearful? Where is it coming from? So I think that's the, I mean, awareness seems to be the word that we've been using a lot lately. That's the first thing. And then be really honest with yourself. Write it down. What are you feeling fearful of exactly? Are you afraid of what you may lose instead of what you may gain? Be really honest with yourself with those and keep asking yourself those questions. What if it's like this instead of how I'm imagining? What if it is better than what I think

it's going to be? What if I don't lose my coping mechanisms but I can create new coping mechanisms? What if my social relationships don't change but they just get better? I mean, think that's a big one. People think, how are my relationships going to change? but they just get better? I mean, I think that's a big one. People think, how are my relationships gonna change? Or how am I gonna fit in now where I used to fit in before? What if you ask yourself that question instead of being fearful of it changing, ask yourself the question, what if it doesn't?

What if it actually gets better? And I think just allowing that to come through and being really honest with yourself and you know It's not gonna be you know, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and feel super confident and never self-sabotage yourself again but I think it's just having that awareness being really honest with yourself and And putting it out there and then keep asking yourself those questions like oh, I'm feeling this way, but why why am I feeling? Yeah, what's going on? Where's this coming from? I think that's really, you know, really key. And just repeating it over and over. I know we talk about affirmations and intentions and all of that, but when you are repeating it, it's going to

become your perception and then your perception is going to then be your reality. It will be real for you. You know, you might have to work to get it there, but it'll be your reality. It will be real for you. You know, you have to might have to work to get it there, but it'll be your reality. Well, for some people that that's their self fulfilling prophecy. They're they're focused on what's not happening, what can't happen, all their fears, all their doubts, all of that rather than like, what do you want? Like, what do you want? Like, what do you what do you want to feel like? What do you want to look like? How do you want your life to be like, what do you want your life to be? What do you want? What is it that you want?

And then figure out how you're going to get it. And I like that having a mantra. If you could name your attitude for showing up this week, next week, each week, every week, each day, right? How would you describe your day today? If you could describe yourself as a word today, what would it be? Is it hopeful? Is it excited?

Is it fun? Or is it funky and fail? Like what is it? Right? And if you keep showing up every day in a, in a funk, right? And as you say, don't fester in your fear. And sometimes that's all we see. So we're just keep pulling in.

We are trying to prove ourselves right. That it's not sustainable, that I can't do this, that I'm stuck in a spiral, that I'm never going to get back at it. Because you haven't taken time to figure out, okay, if you don't want to be here, where do you want to be? And then how are you going to get there? Right? Make a plan for yourself. God, this conversation was deep today. Yeah, it was deep. But I think, you know, this comes from our members, man. This is what they're talking about. You know, they needed it.

And, you know, sometimes we like to have, you know, have these fun conversations. But sometimes these are needed. Like, I think we're always about real talk, right? Like, let's talk. Let's have fun. You know, it was always I remember with Kim, it was always the joke. She's like, oh, you guys are always talking about how fun maintenance is. It's so fun over there. It's always a party. Well, sometimes it's got to be a little deeper too. You know, we're not afraid to have those real conversations. And I think this is what's really going to

help people because they need it. They need to get it from here, right? It's going to we're helping them. Well, you came out the gate with week one being all about solidifying your maintenance mindset, right? So what is the maintenance mindset you have? Is this the maintenance mindset you want to solidify? Like, what is that maintenance mindset that you want to have? Let's, let's look ahead to week two. So next week is week two already, I can't believe it. What is the focus

there? So next week, we're talking really solidifying sorry not solidifying supporting the new you. So you know taking taking this program and taking what it is I mean we're not changing the program but how can you make the program be a be do the program in a way that's more specific to you. So like when we're talking things like maximizing, what does that mean to you now? We knew what it meant in weight loss, but what does it mean now?

Is it still doing all of the things all of the time, or is it really knowing what you specifically need at this time, right? Because we're not working to what we were working towards before. So how can we take that to make it more specific? Things like supplements, you know, should I take them not, should I not take them? That's, we're at that question now, but why? You know, beyond weight loss, why should you, why should, why could you stop?

And how can you curate it so it's more specific to who you are now? Let's support who you are now and let's focus on who you are now instead of trying to, you know, do all the things you did before. It's almost like the word supporting has replaced maximizing, right? Like why are you continuing to manage your stress? Why are you continuing to get better sleep? Like what's your motivation? Why are you continuing to to move your body? You know the result of maximizing your efforts. Now you're going to take that and support, continue to support yourself with where you are at. I love that. Okay. So no shortage of things to talk about around here. So we're going to be back next Monday, 12 PM to talk

about week two of the program. So I hope everyone has a great rest of the week. What you got coming up the rest of the program. So I hope everyone has a great rest of the week. What you got coming up the rest of the week? Well, we are having some real talk tomorrow. So you have to check out that post. So we are talking, you know, maybe surprise you about your maintenance journey. So we want everyone to dive into that and check that one out. We are talking this week about sickness, you know, unfortunately, we don't want to be, have to talk about sickness, but how to really take care of yourself. And I think sometimes when we're feeling so good

and we get sick, it can really set us back a little bit. So really just a reminder to take it easy, take care of yourself, you know, and just, you know, feeling the best that you can. And of course we're talking bowel movements, everyone's favorite topic to close out the week. So don't forget about that. and just feeling the best that you can. And of course we're talking bowel movements, everyone's favorite topic to close out the week. So don't forget about that.

No such thing as GMI around here. Okay, we're looking forward to that conversation. Thanks, Lydette, and thanks for everyone who's joining us live or listening after the fact. Have a great rest of your day. Bye. Bye.