The Livy Method Podcast - Navigating Burnout with Cynthia Loyst - Spring 2025

Episode Date: June 17, 2025

In this episode, TV host, author, creator, and podcaster Cynthia Loyst opens up about her wake-up call with burnout—the moment she realized she couldn’t keep pushing through. From there, she breaks down the difference between burnout and everyday stress, highlighting three unmistakable signs: unshakable exhaustion, emotional detachment, and a steep drop in productivity. The conversation gets real about how we tie our worth to what we achieve, and what it looks like to live in a constant state of "doing." Cynthia also shares practical tools for healing: creating non-negotiable space for joy, asking for help without guilt, and her “AAAH” method—Awareness, Attention, Authenticity, and Help—to reconnect with pleasure. It’s a powerful reminder that joy isn’t indulgent—it’s necessary—and you are worthy, exactly as you are, whether you're doing all the things or absolutely nothing at all.Where to find Cynthia:Instagram: @cynthialoyst and @cynthiaandjosiewww.findyourpleasure.com and www.cynthiaandjosie.comDaily at 2 pm EST on The Social on CTV You can find the full video hosted at:https://www.facebook.com/groups/livymethodspring2025To learn more about The Livy Method, visit livymethod.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm Gina Livi and welcome to the Livi Method Podcast. This is where you'll have access to all of the live streams from my 91 Day Weight Loss program. With a combination of daily lives, guest expert interviews, and member stories, there is something new almost every day. Miss the Morning Live? Want to relisten to one of our amazing guest experts? Well, this is the place.

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This is an opportunity to become curious. To learn some things. How do we help you feel less overwhelmed so you can continue on your journey? Keep believing in yourself and keep trusting the process. Just be patient. Today we are talking about burnout. How do you know when you are burnt out? And on the flip side of that, we're also talking about how to find your joy and pleasure. My guest today is Cynthia Lois. She's been with us in previous groups.

She's back again to continue the conversation. Hello. Hi. Hi. Nice to see you. Nice to see you too. So I don't want to dwell too much on burnout, but I think first of all, our members who are new to you, you might recognize Cynthia. She's the host of the social, which is a national television program here in Canada. She's also a podcast host of Cynthia and Josie's Unmentionables, which is why I know we're going to love this conversation today. She's also a national bestselling author of the book, Find Your Pleasure, the art of living a more joyful life. And you also are the creator of the, of the website, findyourpleasure.com, which is a lifestyle platform celebrating joy,

indulgence, and self-expression, which I love because this is a weight loss program, as you know. So many people are trying to lose weight in all the healthiest ways, not just physically, but mentally. And our association with indulgence is like that's a bad thing. Overindulging ensued when indulging can actually be a good thing. But first, maybe a quick introduction for any of our members who might not be familiar with you since we are worldwide at this point. Yeah, thank you for that introduction.

And yeah, I mean, Jeanne, of course you've been on our podcast and that was one of a really memorable episode. I loved it. Yeah, for me, I've been working in television for over 20 years now. I started out behind the camera and moved in front. And I work on this daily live national show, as you mentioned. And in the fall of 2023, I could feel myself just going through a rough go of things. And I didn't know what exactly it was. I'd never experienced depression.

But then one day it kind of all came to a head when I showed up to work and I just couldn't stop crying. And it scared the heck out of me. And when I look back, what preceded that was a hell of a lot of rage. I was angry at everything, the state of the world, my partner, my kid was bugging me. The people around me were getting under my skin.

I was super, super irritable. And then it all ended up almost like transforming into this grief and sadness and utter, utter exhaustion and cynicism. And it's luckily my boss was sort of able to recognize that something wasn't right. And because the company that I work for has really great mental health supports, I was able to take a leave. And during that two months, I really, really was able to rest. And I know that that's not gonna be accessible for everyone

so we can talk a little bit about that. But I thought maybe it was perimenopause. I thought I was maybe going through depression. And then eventually my doctor did say to me that she felt it was burnout, which is a very hard thing because it's not something that is a medical diagnosis. So I was grateful for her to use words and language describe that.

And since then I've been on a journey to try to figure out how to get back to myself. And it's interesting how it sort of also intersected with my work previously on pleasure. Yeah. In your experience, what is the difference between burnout or stressed out or you mentioned menopause? Like, how did you know it was burnout

versus the many other excuses, for lack of a better word, that we could have used? And I think in event diagram a lot of these things would intersect but burnout is typically recognized by three factors. One is exhaustion so physical and mental exhaustion, overwhelming exhaustion. The type of exhaustion whereby even if you have a weekend off or a week away on a vacation you come back and you still haven't had your battery recharged. That's one thing. The second thing is that sense of cynicism and detachment, particularly related to work.

It's that feeling of like, nothing's going right. I kind of hate this. The joy that I previously felt related to it or other aspects of my life I can no longer access. And the third thing is a feeling of lack of productivity, that the things that you were able to achieve before you suddenly cannot do. So I think those are the factors that led my doctor, who also has known me for a long time,

to recognize that that was probably what we were dealing with. So you mentioned something there, lack of productivity. How do we start untangling our worth from productivity though? Oh my god, this is such a great question. I recently did a quick video that was inspired by someone else's video on Instagram. I'd seen some guys actually talking about how the healthier they get, and this resonated so strongly with me, the less ambitious they felt. And this to me was this radical aha moment because I've been feeling the same thing, that the more I get healthy and calm, the less I'm chasing that kind of

chasing ambitious energy. And I think we are raised in a world, if you have a little bit of ambition that really, really ties up those two things that our identity and our self-worth, it's maybe from the way that you were raised as well, are intertwined. And I think the key for me is not saying that I don't have, there are things that I want to achieve. Of course, I still have goals in life, but it's about recognizing that everyone still has worth, But it's about recognizing that everyone still has worse, even if you're not doing much of anything. And this to me, when I first heard that IZONAT,

I interviewed somebody who had written a book about burnout, and she very much impressed upon that, that you actually have worse, and we know this intuitively, we know that there are people with disabilities, we know that there are people who are elderly, we know that there are all kinds of people in our lives who aren't quote unquote productive, who are extraordinarily valuable.

But we in this capitalistic society have decided that to equate in many cases these kinds of ideas around like productivity and you know success as a measure of how much money are you making? What does your life look like? Where are you making? What does your life look like? Where are you living? And I think it's an actual energy that we have to put into dismantling and challenging that when it comes up for ourselves. Yeah, can we also talk about how

it might look a little different? Like when I introduced you, you're a TV host, a podcast host, a national bestselling author, you have your website, you're traveling, you're doing talks, you're all of that. I can be like, oh yeah, this makes sense. She has burnout, but so does the mom at home or the caregiver of her parents or do you know what I mean? Can you just talk a bit, a little bit how it's not always just the super busy person that seems to be so successful. Anyone can deal with

burnout? A hundred percent anyone can. And I do think there are these different camps that we don't talk enough about. Caregiver burnout is a huge thing. And I think it's when you actually, I think of us as the batteries. And every day we need a certain amount of rest and recharge. And the way that we've mostly been raised is you need to earn that right to rest. Many of us were raised also by mothers and caregivers. I know my mom, her mantra was like, I never should be, no one should be sitting down until all of the work is done and all of the work is never done.

Right? So basically growing up, she never sat down. So I think we inherit this kind of messaging and we think of ourselves as particularly women, who you cannot rest as long as there's still a load of laundry on. Then many of us are in the sandwich generation where we're dealing with elderly parents, we're still dealing with the issues of our children and trying to have a career. Even if you're a stay-at-home mom, I mean, it's all the extras on top of that,

that go along with managing and being the CEO of a home. So certainly any kind of area can end up with burnout. And it is that idea of the battery that we never really fully recharge our batteries. And we think instead of thinking of like, we need that rest in order to be productive. And that's a flip message that we don't often think of.

Yeah, like idle hands. We've been taught it's not good just to sit there. You got time on your hands. I can give you a whole list. I'm guilty of that with my own children. I can give you a whole list. Yesterday, I ragged on my kid. She had slept in till one. And I was like, you know, you could have got up this morning, the kitchen's a mess, you didn't do this,

you didn't do that, whatever, blah, blah, blah. And she's got tears in her eyes. I'm like, are you okay? And she's like, no, I'm having a hard time. And I'm like, why, what's going on? And so yesterday was Father's Day, and we had a wonderful day with Tony who is like their stepdad and their own dad having passed away two years ago. It didn't even occur to me.

And she's just like, I'm really sad about dad. I know I shouldn't be. Tony's amazing. And I was like, Whoa, I am so sorry. I just like, and here I am giving her a laundry list of stuff to do because the kid You slept in and didn't clean the kitchen and I was like, oh man So yeah, we don't give ourselves space. I mean that I mean I can just imagine to like you're an extremely busy person And you've got a lot going on and it's easy also because we've got the other added noise I don't know if you do, but of just like, oh my God, my teammates, my kids, gotta make sure my kids are not slipping through the cracks.

Gotta make sure my kids are not like falling down an internet rabbit hole. And I think it's all that extra noise. I don't know about you, but my mom had an easier time as a parent than I did. I will say, I believe this feature. She may balk at that, but she didn't have the extra added stress of, you know,

wondering where her kids are at any given point in time in the same ways that that happens today. And also the way in which we use social media, a lot of us think that we can have some rest by scrolling on our screens. And we know that that impacts like our dopamine levels and it actually can activate us and make us feel less rest, less rested and more stressed out. But that's usually most people's go-to if you ask them. Like I'm sure it's a habit that I've had to really challenge in myself.

Well that's what I I wanna talk about. What are the signs we've normalized when it comes to burnout? Oh my gosh, I see it every day. I feel like I'm looking around and I'm like, oh, you're on the verge of burnout. You're on the verge of burnout. You're on the verge of burnout.

I think we've normalized it by just really, the idea is that if you don't wanna be seen as lazy, if you don't want to be seen as, you know, messy, like those types of things that you better be on your button working. Like I'll tell you this, you gave a laundry list of the stuff that I'm doing. I have actually scaled back massively since EARN Act. And if you looked at my house right now, Gina, it's a bloody fucking mess. I hope I can swear. You can.

Definitely can. Like, I will manage it. I was at my parents' house this past weekend for Father's Day and my parents, they had brought someone in to clean all of their windows. And my mom, in the meantime, had taken the screens off and she was cleaning all of the screens. And I said, I have never done that. In the 15 years I've lived in my place and I will

never do that. And but there are probably people listening who are like, well, you're disgusting. But I've had to make choices about what it is that I am willing to spend my time doing. I've made the choice that it matters more to me to spend time quality time with my kid in certain ways and Also to just like be lazy sometimes that those are choices that I've made in order to kind of feel as balanced as possible Well, first of all, I can relate my house is a mess so much So that on the weekend we cleaned out the garage and the garage is so clean that every now and then I will go Into the garage and just spend time there now and then I will go into the garage and just

spend time there because and it's not a nice garage. It's like a cement floor. Like it's not a nice garage, but I'm just like, it's clean. It's the clean place. You know, there's things of course that we can do for ourselves, but how do you and you know, I'm not just talking about hiring a cleaner, but whatever. but what about when it comes to asking help? Did you ever have to, there's a question, there's a comment here from Janice talking about how she's burned out. I'm not sure how to not be, I spread myself thin.

I know I need to make change, but then I find myself going down the same rabbit hole. How do I let go of so much responsibility and get others to help me out? And I'm not just talking paying people, I'm talking about friends, I'm talking about family. What's your experience with that? Yeah, the village is so interesting.

I was again on Instagram at some point and someone was talking about how we've managed to sort of figure it away in our cultures to like outsource for the village. What used to be your community, you know, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, and whatever, and everybody was sort of helping out. Now we've moved to isolated spots

and we have to hire out to get help. And that's a really fraught situation. Sorry, okay, wait a minute, what's the question again? About how do you- Asking for help, asking for help. I mean, I would love to know more details. I think it is imperative that we ask our partners for help. If you don't have a partner, it's asking for friends.

During the pandemic, I ended up freaking out because I have an only child, and I was worried about the isolation. So we ended up, I found a group of women who felt the same way and who wanted to kind of bond together. And since then, they're in the community, and I can be like, you know, saying to my son, like, go to so-and-so's house after school if I can't make it.

I've also made the active choice of like not putting him in as many things because it meant that I would have to be driving all over hell's half acre. Some people can't seem to manage to do that, but I think it's actually better for my son to have less things. It's better for me also because I'll be a better mom when I'm less stressed out.

So I don't know what this person's life situation looks like, but they probably know intuitively what is they could give up or what they could reassign. And so it's just a matter of giving yourself permission and telling yourself it's actually the right thing to do. What about some of the things that you were intentional about, like you had to actually try hard to do

and be intentional about to help manage all the things that you were doing in burnout? Well, the first, I mean, immediately when I went on burnout, the first thing I did was I forbid myself to go on social media for two months, didn't touch it. Really? I made an announcement, I was like, I'm not coming on here and I didn't.

And for anyone who's listening that that kind of stirs some kind of response in, I think it's something to look at is probably worth and just like journaling is the other thing. It's been a non-negotiable for me. I journal every morning for at least one page, but I try to do three pages, sort of stream of consciousness. And the reason why that's so valuable, sometimes I use prompts, sometimes I don't, but it just, when you look back after like six to eight weeks, you'll see your patterns

and you'll see the things that sort of stress you out. And the things if you equate like, oh, did I have wine last night? How was my sleep? Like all these types of things, I eliminated alcohol as well, speaking of. I haven't completely eliminated it now, but for I think six months, I eliminated alcohol as well, speaking of. I haven't completely eliminated it now, but for I think six months I completely cut it out because I wanted to make sure I got

as quality of rest as I possibly could. I saw, what other things did I do? I mean, I made sure I got at least 10,000 steps a day and had some time in nature. That was really important. Do you want to talk about that for a second? My next question is going to be on, it's the mental part we think. We're going to think our way out of burnout, but what's the physical aspect? What's happening in our body physically? Oh my God, you nailed it. Yeah.

I think, and also therapy tends to do that too. Therapy, which I very much value and utilize, it is a real top-down approach. And what I found, and this goes back to the pleasure piece, is that I really had to find a way to get back into my body. And it was interesting for me, I would do a little bit of yoga, like let's say a couple of like, I'm in a warrior poses and a child's pose,

and I would lie on the ground and just cry. And what that told me was there was stuff inside of me that I was burying. You know, it might be desires, it might be, you know, anger, it might be conversations I didn't have. They were all sitting somewhere inside of me and when I had enough time, like, basically just all burst. And so as soon as I started moving my body, this stuff came out. So yes, it is absolutely imperative that we move our bodies in whatever ways, I think, feel as good as possible.

I mean, you know all about this, right? You have to find the things that work for you because you'll be more likely to do them more often. And stuff comes up, stuff comes up. Yeah, stuff comes up for sure. It does, that's a somatic piece. Like, right, Like, people talk a lot about, if you, if you don't know that word, it's like the somatic therapy is a new sort of modality that really involves moving the body, because it believes that we're not just, can't think our way out of many types of mental health issues. We need to have our body involved as well. Well, and this is where I, one of my first experiences with burnout, I remember I was driving and wondering like where, like what, why was I getting wet? And I didn't even, I was crying, but without crying, like my body was just, and I was like, how am I crying right now? And it was just because I just constantly trying

to keep my shit together. I was in survival mode, right? Like that's that, how do you go from survival mode to shifting into something more intentional? The survival mode that you're talking about is that fight-or-flight instinct. And I think everyone knows what that is. We are designed that way to have these kind of reaction systems that served us well when there were tigers and bears around the cave, whatever, so you could run fast.

It's our whole nervous system gets activated. But we have that in this day and age whenever we, I don't know, have a siren go by us and work in intense jobs and have intense conversation, it activates that. And so one of the things is, is that you need to rest and reset. You need to have like back in the time, there's actually a great book called Burnout, where they talk about this, that back in that time period, when people would go out and let's say like fight, you know, fight an animal in order to and have their nervous system up, people are fought like another warring community. And then they came home and then they would celebrate.

They would eat well. They would have downtime. They would rest. They would laugh. They would listen to music. It's all this stuff that we already know, but it's actively saying we are safe. It's telling your nervous system,

I am safe, I am surrounded by love, I know how to modulate, like it's teaching yourself how to bring that nervous system back down and calm it down and allow its space to have the counterbalance to that activation, which we cannot avoid in life. Yeah, well, our members will recognize this conversation with our experts in terms of just chronic stress in general

from just everyday life, let alone burnout. And stress is a good thing. It's what makes you run and gives you the energy. And if your car's coming or bear's chasing you, whatever, but it's the calming down of the stress that we never seem to have. So burnout in the world we live in, obviously, it's not just the burnout,

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on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions and terms apply. Instacart groceries that over deliver. To it, I want to ask you about you said that you look around and you can see that people are dealing with burnout. There's there's a comment here from Renee. I have a friend who lost her husband very suddenly. When I asked her what I could do for her, she told me that she's not good at asking for help.

But to please check in with her from time to time, I wish I had thought of that approach when I was recovering from burnout. And again, you know, this is, we talked about you asking for help, but what about when you do see someone else who's struggling? What can we do to be that supportive friend? Well, it's interesting.

I think like that story that you just had, I think that when we have someone close to us going through things, it's almost, it's letting them know that we're there, but then almost thinking. So if you have a friend in your circle and you have a little bit more time or you have a little bit more energy

and you know that they, it's not asking them for what they need. It's like sending them food. It's like making them something and leaving it. When I went through burnout, one of the things that made me ball my head off is one day I opened up my door and someone had left a puzzle and a journal. And it was just so kind to know that someone in my circle cared about me and just did this little gesture, which was just so kind to know that someone in my circle cared about me and just did this little gesture, which was just like here. I also think what's coming to me right now is this piece of compassion. And isn't it interesting how we're so willing to be caregivers for other people when we're

concerned. And I think it's a reminder to us, we seldom put that kind of caregiving lens on ourselves. And it is actually scientifically researched. There's a woman named Kristin Neff who's done a ton of research about the connection between self-compassion and burnout, particularly for caregivers. She studied a lot of people who are first responders and people in like nurse, hospital, all those types of roles. And what adds to burnout and adds to stress is those kinds of conversations that many

of us have had, which is like, why are you going through this? No one has the time for this. Why are you special? What is your problem? Why can't you handle this? That narrative and that you have to disrupt that and start to move into the way that you would talk to a friend who was going through something. Yeah, because you you feel like you're a burden. You feel like it's a it's a burden, right?

Like, oh my god, everyone's got their problems. Everyone's got their issues. You know, I just got to figure it out because they're dealing with divorce and they're dealing with something else and she's already, you know, I don't I don't got we don't got time for me. I can figure it out. I can do it. I can do it on my own. That's right. That's right. And that doesn't help. It's not helpful at all. I see a comment here from Mary Ann. I didn't realize until I started listening to the speaker that when I had feelings of being overwhelmed and fighting back the tears that it is burnout. I've always associated burnout with work and not in my personal life, quite the eye opener.

Well, I'm glad to hear that. But I do think we need to, we not in my personal life, quite the eye opener. Well, I'm glad to hear that. But I do think we need to, we need to kind of like, yeah, see it in each other. And sometimes, again, I've been able to track sort of I'm in perimenopause, my cycles are becoming a little bit wonky. I did feel a little bit, I think I said this to you last time, I felt a little bit gaslit when a lot of people, when I was initially talking about this publicly on my podcast were saying, oh, it's perimenopause. And it was not perimenopause. Again, that might've been a piece, but I've managed to come through it.

And I have nothing against hormone replacement therapy, but I've managed to come through it without doing that. And I'm further along in my menopause journey than I was before. But I do think it's important to be aware of your cycle, you know, get a little app, even when it's becoming wonky and maybe also when we're feeling overwhelmed, we're feeling weepy, thinking first, am I going through a hormonal shift right now?

And even if that's just the sign for you to like take extra care, to find those spaces of pleasure and rest and allow yourself that and know that it will pass. I want to move on to pleasure and joy. First of all, where did your passion for this topic come from? You've written the book, Find Your Pleasure, the Art of Living a More Joyful Life. Did that come before or after the burnout? Same time. What's the timeline on that? Did that come before or after the burnout? Same time. What's the timeline on that? It's interesting.

It came out around, the book came out 2020, but it took me two years to write. So it started around 2018. And it was this accumulation of an experience that I had on the show, on the social, which is a daily show. I had had an experience that now I look back and I think it was burnout. At the time I on the social, which is a daily show, I had had an experience that now I look back and I think it was burnout.

At the time I was just like, oh, I had a kind of like panic attack live on the air. And at that time I was like, oh, I can't remember the last time I was, had really like spent a lot of time doing things for me. Like when I was a kid, I loved to like draw, I loved to write, I loved to dance. I had given up all of those things in the effort

to pursue my career and become a mom and be a... I'm on the phone. Hi, I'm just, thank you. It's okay, people just came to my office. Why, that's how we roll around here. Some people go out, they open the door, they have conversations, they come back, I can hold it, I'm good.

I know. I know. So anyway, I had the door, they have conversations, they come back, I can hold it, I'm good. I don't. I don't. So anyway, I had this panic attack and it sent me on this deep dive to pleasure. And I thought about the women in my life and how many people were really prioritizing to-do lists and cleaning and laundry and being a good wife

and being a good mom and putting themselves always on the back burner. So I was like, screw that. I'm going to start making an active effort to really inject pleasure in my life, which led to a website and led to a book. Well, you say that reclaiming joy is like a radical act, right? It's something intentional. How do we reclaim that in our everyday life?

Yeah, I mean, I was certainly given the messages growing up. I grew up, I was raised Catholic and nothing against that, but there's a lot of real prioritizing on like restraint and restrict. And, you know, I had people in my lives who had eating disorders. The messaging that consistently came up was like, don't take up too much space.

Like don't be too loud. You'll be that type of a girl. Don't be too much into your desires or you'll be that type of a girl. Don't be too much into your desires or you'll be like seen as like sleazy. Like everything was about how to make yourself smaller and anything that felt good, basically if it feels good it was like, oh that's a danger zone. And that's why I think it is a radical feminist act to really, it's not that I'm saying that all pleasures and indulgence all the time is the way to live.

But what I am saying is that when you understand yourself deeply and can be deeply present when you're experiencing pleasure, and you make time for that, I think that I know that we become more joyful and more loving and better humans all around. Well, this program is all about being in tune, being in tune to your body's needs and learning to trust when to eat, what to eat and how much to eat. But we don't, we know that we become so disconnected, especially after years and years of dieting, but we only associate that with food and

not just our bodies. So how can we reconnect with joy? How can we reconnect with pleasure? Well, I mean, I actually came up with an acronym in my book that I'm forgetting what it is right now. So I'm gonna open it up. And basically- That's menopause. We can blame that on menopause for sure.

Yeah. It is, oh, frig a frack. Am I gonna, it was, oh, is I got it I got it okay so in the same way that I've you and I've talked about this too I think breath work and mindfulness is so important and it sounds like one of those things it's like oh I roll everyone's talking about mindfulness but the more you do it the more you realize it quiets all that noise in your brain that's telling you you got to do this a to- lists, and the kind of self-deprecating talk. Mindfulness manages to quiet that noise.

And so this acronym that I wrote, it was in the spirit of, you know the sound that we make when we take a deep breath in and we go, ah, which immediately calms us down, calms your nervous system down. So I wrote for three A's, like an acronym, A-A-A-H, because that's the way you spell that. The first A is for awareness. So the key to finding pleasure is becoming first aware

of what gives you pleasure, because what brings you pleasure at the end of the day may not be the exact same thing. Maybe you're somebody who loves to be out on the open water and you secretly want to sail, or maybe you love to like kick a ball around. That's not me. Maybe it's an old passion like drawing. So becoming aware of what stirs you

and what you kind of want to do is the first key. The second thing is for attention. Life gets busy and we can get caught up with all kinds of different things. So it's paying attention to what brings us joy Life gets busy and we can get caught up with all kinds of different things. So it's paying attention to what brings us joy and then making time for that. Actually planning it out once you've discovered it. Pay attention to your schedule.

Pay attention to the way you feel. I know for me, if I fill up a schedule for a week and there's too many things in my white space areas, I get more and more anxious. Okay I love that you I love that you reframed that in a way that that people can make it resonate with themselves because that can feel overwhelmed it cannot feel accessible. Yes I got two more two more letters okay okay so the third A is authenticity okay Okay, so again, this is my keys to pleasure, A, authenticity. It's hard to live an authentic life

that brings you pleasure if you're living out someone else's script. If you've been told your whole life, oh, you need to do this in order to fit into a certain box, you need to look this way. I think it's about quieting out that noise and getting into like, who are you? And this goes into that value system

that I was talking to you about when I saw you last, which if no one has done this after we're done here, you can Google values list. This is a check of list of words and they range from everything from creativity to family to curiosity to ambition to balance. There's a list of about 60 words and what you can do is go through it really quickly and circle your top like five or ten and then try to reduce that. And if every day you wake up and you try to live by your top three to five values,

you will find you're living a more pleasure-filled life. Yeah. So I will link that because I was recently at a talk where Cynthia was doing a conference and Cynthia was doing a talk and I did this and there was a whole list. And what I did was I, and like you can make this work for sure. So don't stress yourself out over it. What I did is I read the list of words and then I wrote down the ones that

I felt in my body. Not that I think I'm this and I think I'm that. The ones that kind of popped up on the screen and I didn't worry about, I think it was five and then you asked to whittle it down to three. And I started with a list, I think I had 10. I just didn't think too much about it. I wrote the ones that I didn't think too much. And then I had like a list of 10. And then I took that 10 and I read them over and like which ones are bringing up a feeling in me. And then I got it down.

And to Cynthia's point, those are the values. And if you're not, if what the choices that you're making, the people you're hanging around or whatever are not resonating with your values, chances are that it's not necessarily the right fit for you. So it may seem like a super simplistic thing to do, but I was like, wow, that is really cool. Yeah.

It's super powerful. Yeah, I love that. And then the last letter is H, which is so, so we went from awareness, attention, authenticity, and H being the last letter is help. And I think that that is like, again, if you want to just like put a simple formula together, those are the letters. And I think the last thing is, is that if you cannot find enough pleasure in your life, it's you need help, you need those places. And whether it's a friend to lean on, whether it's a babysitter down the street, it's asking people in your network for little bits of help.

You know, making the shift is, it's a lot easier said than done. And it's great to ask for help the people who support you in your life. But what about the people, your friends, your partners, your family, the people who are not supporting these changes? How do you navigate that?

Any advice for that? I mean, I think who are not supporting these changes. How do you navigate that? Any advice for that? I mean, I think those are those deep, like dark questions that we need to ask ourselves is that if the people in our lives are not supporting the changes that we want to make, are they the people that we want to have in our lives to the long term? Especially when it intersects with that your value system, right? And I think sometimes those are gonna make, like bring up really, really big life questions, right? I know a lot of people who've gone through burnout have decided like, oh my God, I can't go back to that job afterwards. I might need to leave this marriage. I might need to reconfigure my life in some way. I will say make sure you don't make those decisions hastily.

I engaged, of course, the services of like, you know, a life coach and a therapist to help navigate things. And I still am open to the idea like I, anything that that makes me feel, you know, not quite on balance, I really, really have, I go through a process of really being questioning. What is it? Is it the way that I navigated this? Is it the relationship that I have with this person?

How am I showing up? I like to take responsibility first and point myself out first and find out like, what am I bringing to the table here that maybe isn't working out for me anymore? Yeah well I call it the what's the message in this for me? What's the message? We have a couple minutes left. I just want to go through a couple really quick questions with you. What's one pleasure you never apologize for? Oh my god there's so many. I think it's like other going to a Hot Sonic cold plunge place. I pretty much do it like several times a week.

I've made it so like that was more important for me than a gym membership. Like I decided like, okay, I'm going to go but you can do this yourself like cold plunging has changed my life and you can do it in your own bathtub. You can do it at a lake if you have nearby if if you can learn to regulate your nervous system in cold water, even if it's just like 30 seconds at a time. It reminds you, I found that I can go back to that place mentally of how I can calm my nervous system very quickly when I'm out in the world. Because people have different thoughts

on cold plunge, especially through menopause. I love that you've it's you're doing it for your own reason. Love that. What's a book that everyone should read? Besides my book, I would say probably, I really liked Mindful. I think it's called Mindful Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff. It's a work book, and I think it's really, really an amazing book related to this. Nice. What's something you used to believe about your body that you no longer believe? Oh, that's a good question. I would say that it's not desirable at any state, like any size, that somehow, or I used to believe that I was only worthy at a certain size, and now I believe I'm always worthy,

but I'm kind of managing always. I think about it more related to how do I feel? How do I have, how do I feel in my clothes? How do I feel in my body? Yeah. Love that. If you could write a love letter to yourself, what would it say? Oh my gosh. You're doing okay. And you're doing well, you're doing fine. You have all of these things that, and all these people that love you, and you have all these things that you've accomplished,

and it's okay to rest. I love that. And finally, a message for our members who are listening, joining us live, or watching after the fact, many of them just starting to recognize that they either are experiencing burnout or not finding enough pleasure enjoying their lives.

I mean, I just hope that they would take this message that you are worth it. You're given these senses, the ability to taste and touch and feel and hear and smell. All these things are there. If you even just want to start there on a daily basis trying to tap into your senses, you will find that pleasure comes. And I don't want you to be a few of the women that I met on my book tour who said to me they were in their like late 60s, 70s, who said they lived their entire lives in service of their husbands and their children. They didn't even know anymore what brought them pleasure. And if that sounds like you, it's

never too late. I do want you to know that. Like it's never too late to start prioritizing your pleasure and joy. Just start with your senses. No, I love that. You can pick up Cynthia's book. It's called Find Your Pleasure, the art of living a more joyful life. You can also go to her website, findyourpleasure.com. Listen to her podcast, the Unmentionables, Cynthia and Josie's Unmentionables. And you can follow over at Cynthia and Josie's.

And my team is just putting up the stuff everywhere. They're good. Just do it quickly for my brain. Can you put up Cynthia's Instagram? There you go. Cynthia Lewis, we will add all the contact information, all the details in the post above and over on our podcast. Thanks everyone joining us live or after the fact. Cynthia, always a pleasure.

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