The Livy Method Podcast - Navigating the Holiday Season with Sandra Elia - Fall 2025

Episode Date: December 3, 2025

In this episode, Sandra Elia returns to unpack the emotional weight of the holiday season and the gap between weight loss programs, those tricky weeks where old habits may creep back in. Gina and Sandra explore why self-forgiveness and structure matter more than ever, and why “letting loose” over the holidays often leaves us feeling worse, not better. Sandra shares raw stories from her own journey with food addiction and offers some very practical advice for maintaining momentum without falling into the all-or-nothing mindset. It’s a reminder that taking care of yourself doesn’t have to stop when the holidays start.You can find the full video hosted at: https://www.facebook.com/groups/livymethodfall2025Sandra is the founder of The Food Addiction Recovery Program and the author of "Never Enough: Three Pillars of Food Addiction Recovery".Find Sandra Elia:Instagram: @sandraelia.cawww.sandraelia.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm Gina Livy, and welcome to the Livy Method podcast. This is where you'll have access to all of the live streams for my 91-day weight loss program. With a combination of daily lives, guest expert interviews, and member stories, there is something new almost every day. Miss the morning live? Want to re-listen to one of our amazing guest experts? Well, this is the place. This podcast is hosted on ACAST, but it's available on all podcast platforms, including the one you're listening to right now, Spotify, Apple, and Amazon Music.

We're focusing on sustainable habits, not quick-fixing. Is it an opportunity to get curious? We're here to help people get to their health goals. One piece each of time. You build and build and build and build. Sandra Alia is back with us. She's the founder of the Food Addiction Recovery Program. She is also the author of the book, Never Enough, Three Pillars of Food,

addiction recovery. And she's back to talk about how do we survive the holidays, the gap in between groups. Hello and welcome. Welcome. Yes. Thank you. Hi. I'm so happy to be here. I love coming to this podcast. It's my favorite thing. I tried, you know, I got the earrings out, the brooch. I positioned my tree in the right place. I love the holidays. I was always saying, I was saying behind the scenes that Sandra always looks so well put together. She always brings the best energy, honestly. I appreciate you being here because this, although, you know, this is a tough time for people. It is. You know, they call it the happiest time of the year. Is it really? Like, I feel like maybe when we were children and our parents did everything for us and we could

experience the magic. But really, as adults, that magic sits on our shoulders. We're the ones who are trying to create that magic and put a ton of pressure on ourselves. Um, yeah. Yeah, so I agree. And I know that this 90-day program is coming to a close soon. It is. And we were just talking. And normally at the end of the program is where I promote what our guests have going on. But Sandus is going to be hosting a workshop on December 3rd.

And we were just so, oh, sorry, on the 12th. It's on the 12th. Okay, yeah. The holiday peace workshop, enjoy the holidays without losing control around food or family on December 12th. And we're going to give you the information to sign up and all that. But why? Why are you doing this?

Yeah, well, a couple of reasons. One is to maintain the progress you've already made on the living program. So many of my own clients talk about having great progress. And then they think, you know what, it's two weeks. Let me let loose. Let me enjoy myself. And then January 1st, like a light switch, everything will go back to the way it was and I'll go back to my meal plan and I'll go back to my exercise. And then they have enough evidence to show that really doesn't happen.

that sometimes that two weeks spirals out of control and drags into January and February and all of a sudden they're like, why can I get a grip on this? Because the truth is, if you could just let loose and enjoy yourself and it didn't impact you, then do it. Life is short, right? And so I often ask people to think about how do you want to wake up on January 1st? What do you kind of feel? And if I think back about my own history, every January I would gain somewhere between 7 and 9 pounds.

here's the crazy thing me and my mother used to do so we would go to the mall this was 25 years ago and the mall had a scale that if you put quarters in they would it would spit out a little piece of paper with your weight yes what a horrible thing to do on january 2nd but that's what we would do and i kept those slips and i would gain like about 10 pounds every year but i would never lose them never and so you imagine after five years it was 50 and then 100 i had to lose over 100 pounds counts. And that feeling on January 1st when you feel hungover and not from alcohol, but like from food, from people, from shopping, I'm just like, I just feel awful, right? And it's like, I fall into this trap, especially with my health care routines. So I think let me just take a break

from working out, from meditating, from meal prepping, you know, all the things that bring me happiness, just let go of them. Like, why do I want to do the things that make me feel energized and really great. No, no, I'll take a break from that. And then it shows up. I'm crabby. I don't have the same energy. I don't connect with people. The kids get on my nerves, the little ones that I absolutely adore. But for some reason, you know, those kinds of foods, they bring down my mood. Sugar sometimes makes me rageful. Like, it just, it never works out the thing, the way I think it's going to work out. you know obviously the the holidays can be a very stressful time it can be a very triggering time but we hear this from people all the time i just can't get back i just can't get back i had a

birthday i had a vacation you know the world series halloween i just can't get back what's your advice for people trying to get back yeah i think the quickest way is self-forgiveness self-compassion So whenever we go off the path, my mantra is, okay, that was a moment in time, gone forever. There's nothing I can do to bring back what happened this weekend, nothing. But my self-punishment, my remorse, my guilt keeps it alive right now. The only way to keep it in the past is to let it go, say, okay, I'm human. I love doing mirror work. So my favorite mirror work is when I really, really mess up.

And I go in the mirror and I'm like, okay, I got you. I love you. We're just going one foot in front of the other. So that's an important piece. The quickest way back on route is self-acceptance, self-love, forgiveness, letting it go. No path is straight, right? We all think, I'm sure everybody thinks that day one of the Gina Libby path,

oh, it's going to be a straight line straight to my goal by 90. Yeah. It doesn't work. We don't expect that in any other area of our lives, right? we don't when we go to get an education when we get a diploma when we get a degree we we have bad tests we mess up we miss a week of school but we don't go oh i've blown it might as well just give up on this law degree no we just go going and the truth is the way you treat yourself when you have a slip that determines if you ever get to the goal not this idea that i shouldn't slip and that's every time i talk to

somebody you're like i'm going to start over i'm going to start over yes when you unpack that it's perfectionism because they believe if I join in January, okay, forget about this session. I messed up. I'll just let that go. Start again on January and then I can do it perfectly. I'm here to tell you, no chance. You're never going to do it perfectly. We're not perfect people. We can't eat perfectly, speak perfectly. Just keep going. Consistency is what will get you to your goal. And if you think about, I love documentaries and I love reading people's autobiographies. who's done something great, it's paves with failure. Yes.

Every single person, it's been paved with just keep getting up. Yeah. But I think when we think about the holidays, I would say there's three major triggers, food, people. Nobody talks about people. We all assume that we love our families, that we all get along. No, that's not true. We have strange relationships and that's okay.

And expectations. Because if you're watching the Hallmark channel, don't do it. it. The Hallmark Channel has ruined Christmas because we think it's this beauty. Okay, I get it. I'm in an aesthetic thing right now. But it took a lot to get here. But we think it's all magic, right? And we're going to cuddle on the couch. We're going to drink hot cocoa and look at the tree. Now, sometimes you have really teenagers. You have a brother-in-law who's weird. You know, you have a strained relationship with your sister. Yes. Yes. Oh my goodness. That is so true. This is something actually I was just talking about yesterday how, you know, normally over the holidays, we make it about the food

and try to make good choices. But people who do the program have such a heightened sense of awareness because they're keeping their energy where it belongs at themselves. They're aware of not just what they're eating and when, but how they're feeling and they're trying to manage their stress and get better asleep and live their lives. And this is where they might start to notice this holiday season food pushers, people trying to get you eat food, your aunt who's always like, oh, you'd be so cute if you lost weight. And now that you've lost weight, she's ragging on you because you've lost too much weight. Like, really be aware of some of those pressures that maybe we didn't really notice before because we were in a different place mentally.

And now that we've gone and made all these changes, sometimes that brings us attention that we were not really used to. Or, you know, we thought, oh, I'm going to be healthy and make all these changes. So people's reactions to me are going to be different. But maybe this is where expectations come in. They are different, but not in the way that you expect it. So there's a lot to unpack here. So much. And I love that you brought up the aunt who says, you need 20 pounds. You need to lose 20 pounds or you, you know, you're too, so here's the deal. When someone comments on our bodies, not when we don't speak up for ourselves, we're actually betraying ourselves. So that anger that you feel might not be at your aunt because your aunt's in her 70s and she grew up in a different era. And she's just,

who she is, but you actually are mad at yourself because you didn't stand up for yourself. You didn't honor yourself. And so my family knows very clearly, I do not accept comments about my body, good or bad, right? Like, no one's allowed to say you have a great rack and no one's allowed to say, I need to lose 20 pounds. That's not happening, right? You're not allowed to comment on my body. And you're not allowed to comment what's on my plate. I'm sorry. If I put a lot on my plate, you don't get to say anything. If I don't want to have whatever dish, because I'm sticking to my plant, you don't get to comment. And I've trained my family over the years, right? And it's so interesting. We don't want to make the other person feel uncomfortable. Right. Of course.

But you're happy to be uncomfortable. I'm happy to betray myself. And I have had those uncomfortable conversations with my aunts like, oh, I don't accept comments about my body. And I'm like, well, I didn't mean anything and I can't believe yourself. No, it's fine. I just don't accept comments about my body. And the broken record is the best tactic because they will eventually give up. So when they go, well, I was just trying to tell you, you look, and I don't accept comments about my body. And then I slow down the sentence and I let it hang, but don't change.

That's the broken record technique. Do not change the sentence. And it's the same with food pusher. So great ones to have on hand is I'm too full to eat that right now. No, thank you. Right? Or that actually, that doesn't agree with my stomach anymore. It makes me quite sick.

Oh, come on. You've always had it every year. It doesn't agree with me anymore. It makes me quite sick. Oh, you're just saying that I don't have that anymore. Like that doesn't agree with me. It makes me sick. Like just you don't change it.

And the person will give up eventually. what I never say, because you open up the debate society, oh, I'm watching what I eat. Oh, I gave up sugar. No, no, no, no. No, no. That's your business. And then everyone's going to have an opinion. And it's just like, that's not sustainable. And it's the holidays. It's better to go with like, I'm full. That doesn't agree with me. Or I'll take it home for later. Yeah. I like the little, I'll just take it and then take it home for later. Some things are just not worth the fight. I agree with you so much that what we say to other people, we are saying to ourselves, you know, and if someone does say something, oh, you know, you should lose any more way, you could say, I've never felt better in my life. Yeah. I feel really great. I'm really proud of myself. Like if you just start saying those things like your mirror work and you start saying these amazing things about yourself, your energy gets lifted, your confidence is on showcase and what are they going to say? We're as opposed to, oh, yeah, I know. I've been doing the diet and I know and okay, I'll eat that. And then you're doing something for someone else. And you just, next thing you know,

you're just, you're shrinking. yeah drinking yourself not an easy thing i recognize right not an easy thing to i don't know stand up for yourself but just be yourself be confident in who you are and the changes that you made but not an easy thing because it's sometimes doing what's best for you is hard for other people yeah i know especially partners if they're not on the same journey but i love what you said about energy so i i think we are always responsible for the energy we bring into a room so I know there's people out there who may be dreading a dinner. I used to, I used to cry in my bathtub.

Like, oh, my God, I got to go to this dinner. And I got to deal with these people. And I realize then that I'm responsible for the energy I bring into a room and a little strategy that I do. And I do this actually in business meetings, family dinners, is I silently bless everyone before I go. I think about this person. And I bless them and I send them love.

And I think of just one thing that I love about them. But then next level is while you're sitting at the dinner table, go around the room and silently bless each person. The energy does change. Your tone changes. Suddenly you're saying things a little bit different. They're like, what's going on? Why? And I remember I told my niece this little hack when she was trying to get her first corporate job. And she was so excited after. She goes, you were right. Oh, my God. I was just thinking about what. And she didn't know this person. I love the way they're speaking. I love their outfit. I love this room. And you're just, right? That's one way to manage the energy that you bring into the room and not having expectations of anyone. And not making it about you and your weight

and the food and all of that. Just making it, I love that. Just bringing blessings to everybody. And just you're almost setting the tone for your experience, whether you are at a job interview or you're at Christmas dinner or whatever you are celebrating the moment. Oh, okay, I got some questions. that people have they want to ask you. Yep. Okay. What's the best way to enjoy holiday treats without triggering old patterns or feeling like we've blown it? Okay.

So this is actually from Dr. Sandy Van. She gave me this idea. When you go, usually people have like a dessert buffet. At least my family does. You know, there's 10 people, 40 desserts, that you look at the dessert table like you're a judge on a cooking show. Okay. And you scan it and you're like, what is really?

worth my while, right? Because sometimes, no offense, but sometimes there's like Tim Horton's chocolate chip cookies and sometimes there's like a packaged pie from Metro and these are all fine. They're fine. But you get to decide like which one is actually worth it. Is it a Belgium chocolate? Is it a homemade something? And the other ones may not be really worse your time, right? We've all done that. Haven't you bitten into a dessert? And you're like, geez, this is just not worth it. right if i'm going to splurge i want to splurge on something that's really really special and really delicious um then try to avoid the ultra ultra ultra processed drunk because ultra process will make you create more ultra process so in my opinion if you're going to go for it go for something that's

homemade because that hasn't been infused with factory chemicals that's why avoid the important cookies and stuff like that. And savor it, be present for it. And then I call it the great dessert escape. Have the one. And then get away from the table. And there's three great strategies for that. One, are there any kids in your family? Like, go indulge the children. I'm a great aunt now and I love it. I love it. I have three great nephews and a great niece. And I leave the table because I want to go hang out with them. They're positive. They don't judge me. They don't ask if I gain weight. I love that.

And then the other thing you can do during the dessert escape is talk to the oldest person in the room. So I noticed when my father had dementia, he couldn't keep up with the conversation. So he would just fade into the background. He would go sit in his chair. And it's like, why not find that one person, no one's engaging and go sit like face to face and give them all of your attention, right? And if you don't have an old, you know, older people or young people, then go help your host. Go clean up. Go clean up.

So just don't linger at the dessert table. My family has a really bad habit. We'll have it all out. And then we're just sipping our coffee talking for hours. Guess what? Then suddenly I want another one. And then I want another one. And then I want because I'm just sitting there for hours.

I love that kind of reframing your holiday experience or family gatherings. And this can extend to any time that you're around people is make it less about the food. I think food plays such a big role in our lives. Like when someone bakes something or, you know, having this thing that you love every year that, you know, you look forward to and you only have once a year. Nobody wants you stressing over that. And it's not those things that you have during the holidays. It's not the cake on your birthday. That's not the problem.

It's how it spirals. and then you try to keep that whole process going. I love that refraining. You're so right. As soon as you think I've blown it. I've had this chocolate that I only have once a year and now I've blown it. And since I've blown it, I might as well go to town and then I'll start over January 1st. That's the red light thinking.

Yeah. Okay. Here's another one, which you kind of sort of answered, but let's ask it in a different way. How do we stay mindful and connected to our hunger cues when we're surrounded by food? all day. So the first thing, one trap people sometimes fall into is I'm going to save all my calories. I know training, I'm having this really big dinner. So let's skip breakfast. I'll just have a shake for lunch. And then that's usually bad news. So I think it's really important to stay on your rhythm, have your usual breakfast, have your usual lunch. And in fact, because

dinner sometimes happens a little later to have a little protein snack before you go. And that way, yes, you're going to enjoy these traditional foods, but just it doesn't have to be monster portions, right? And it can be smaller portions that you fully savor. You're in the moment. Just don't let go of your eating routine and your exercise routine and all the other things that you do to make yourself really happy. Yeah, I had a client asked me this this morning and they have a big event,

Christmas thing tonight. How do I manage that? I'm just to have a normal day leading up. try to minimize the breads and pastas. Like if you're going to have some pasta, also have some leafy greens with it or try to have some vegetables with it as opposed to a big bowl of pasta. Like I said, you know, anything you eat tonight, it's not going to stop you from reaching your goal.

And then tomorrow just get back to a normal eating day. Here's a question about the processed foods. If I'm a food addict, is eating a processed food or a treat the same as an alcoholic having one drink? Doesn't that one drink get the addict off there so bright? I feel safer sticking to the program for this reason, but I understand you are trying to move us to a place where we can trust what to eat, when to eat, and how much to eat. Yeah, so great question.

Obviously, that's my specialty food addiction. And I like to phrase it, is this food peaceful for you? Right. So then it becomes your personal decision. And if you feel, if you identify as a food addict, you already know what your trigger foods are, just like somebody with alcoholism knows alcohol is a trigger for them. It's that alcohol is just not peaceful for them, but I could sit beside them and have a glass of wine because it is peaceful for me.

So if you have, I call it evidence, if you have years and years of evidence that shows once I start on this food, it's never a reasonable portion. It leads to an overeating episode, sort of like the person with alcoholism. I have the one glass and I know I'm going to be drunk by 10 o'clock at night and I'm going to fall down by the time I get home. They just have years of that experience. And so reframing it as to what is it peaceful for you? And if it's not, then it's just not with the price tag's too high. That's what I also say. Like, how big is the price tag to have this treat, right? And for some people, the price tag is, I'm pre-diabetic. I lost mobility. I'm dealing with severe obesity. The price tag is

emotional. It makes my mood plummet. I'm not there for my kids. It's a spiritual price tag. I feel like I'm not worthy. Oh, then do you want to have it? Is it peaceful? That's really interesting because alcohol I've shared with our members that I've tried to minimize my alcohol, especially as I was in the midst of perimenopause, I'm almost on the other side of that. I had a lot of stress, a lot going on. So to me, wine does not bring me peace. I can drink. I can drink an old fashion. I can drink espresso martini, have one, go home, no big deal. But wine. And, you know, we're talking to alcohol. So you think having that one drink is going to set me off.

But it's just wine because my association to wine is my, wine is my coping mechanism. Right. So it's sort of like when you said figure out what your triggers are, how do we, when you're a food addict addict, you know what your triggers are. But if we don't identify as a food addict, how do you know what our triggers are? Yeah, I think triggers can also be people, places, and foods. So, yeah. So for some people, even going home, I have clients who their parents live in a different province. They're going home and they know as soon as they enter that childhood home or maybe they experience time. They know they have their cupboard. They need their comfort food. It's so hard because so many of us have values. We have values that we're there for our families. We're good children. We're good siblings. And we don't want to cut our family out. Right. And then that means I have to go back. back to the home where I may be experienced abuse and try to have Christmas with them or the holidays. And that's going to trigger me to eat. So when you know that, you up all of your

resources, you have more therapy sessions. You are more active in the Facebook group. I like something called book ending, which you have such a great Facebook community. So book ending, what that means is I'm about to go into a family dinner where I know things go sideways. So I would go out on Facebook and say, hey, guys, I'm going to go visit my family. This is what I'm committing to. I'm committing to having this and this. I'm committing to leaving the dessert table, whatever it is, right? Then at the end of the night, you check in. That's the book. I'm saying, hey, guys, I did it and let everybody celebrate you or say, hey, guys, I messed up and let everybody love you. So only bookends with kind people, not anybody who's going to be like, what? You mess up? No, it's just an

accountability because if you succeeded, you need to be supported. And if you didn't succeed, you need love. Oh, you need to be loved. There's such a good timing because we started our, um, um, a new thing called, uh, living with friends,

which is really all about really fostering community with people. And, and when we do things with friends, we are more likely to be more successful. But beyond being successful, just to be surrounded by people who show you kindness and love and who are there for you when you say, oh,

I messed it up or I fail, they're like, what they they see you differently than the way you see yourself and that's really important i have um i have another question here before we wrap things up i need help developing a concrete plan telling myself i'm not going to eat the rum balls or butter tarts won't actually stop me is there a replacement strategy something like i'll eat three vegetables first before having a cookie does that even work sorry my question seems to be more of me trying to make sense of my challenges but also i think there is something there i mean yeah i'm not into tomfooler

and trickery. Let's be honest with ourselves. But what strategies? I love that. I love that. And so I love what she said about eating, you know, a glass of water, a drinking a glass of water. That's also a great strategy with alcohol. So if you are going to engage in alcohol, do a one-to-one rule. So if I have one old-fashioned, I have an eight-ounce glass of water. I've won it, right? So that's going to slow you down. And maybe just acceptance. Yeah, I'm going to have the rum balls. I love the rum balls. So what I'm going to do is put it on a beautiful plate. I'm going to enjoy every morsel, no guilt, no rushing, nothing, because I've already pre-decided. No having to justify it by eating your veggies. No, no. It's called a planned indulgence versus compulsive eating. So

compulsive eating feels horrible to everybody. And I've been there, right? Like, oh, I'll go hide this and I'll go grab more and I don't want anybody to see and I'll eat it really quick because I feel guilty versus a planned indulgence so think what is it that you would like to have and enjoy and be mindful and celebrate yeah here's my rum ball i'm gonna love this i'm gonna enjoy every last morsel very different energy than the hiding guilt energy love that okay last question i'd new years new year new you like i just feel like barfing every time i hear about it's just like fuck off I love me now. I don't need a new me.

Right. It's the same me dealing with the same shit. I love though a fresh start, a fresh start, a new mental model, a fresh perspective. I love all of that. But there's nothing wrong with the old you, although you can still want to make change. How do you reframe the new year? Yes. So I don't believe in New Year's resolutions.

Please do not do one. A New Year's resolutions is believing if I say something on the outside, I won't have to do the internal work. So we cannot change the hard truth. It is with the hard truth. I cannot change my outer world and leave this unchanged. Doesn't happen. The change starts here and then comes out to the real world. So no more New Year's resolutions, no more thinking there's a magical January 1st, right? That's magical thinking. I used to think Monday morning. My poor Monday morning, I never had a chance. That Monday morning was get up, eat salad every day. I was going to run them, you know, five kilometers every morning. Yeah, that never happened. That's not how change works.

So I think it's that. No New Year's resolutions, work on the internal world, and then the outer world will reflect that. Love is energizing. I want everybody just to kind of come into the holiday season saying, how can I vibrate at the highest level? Someone who hates themselves does not vibrate well. And I spent all of my 20s hating myself and I will never know the missed opportunities, the missed friendships, the missed situations that I could have been in. Because I was vibrating such hate that I repelled everything. So what if you just open your heart and vibrate love and you just see yourself through the eyes of love? You see your family through the eyes of love. You just speak words of love. You just think about the gift that would be for your

family. I just want to stop for a second and share with the community. I've had an opportunity to actually spend time with Sandra. And she is just as lovely. Oh, thank you. In person in her everyday life as she is coming on here. And she walks the walk and talks to talk with this. And I love you for that. And I, you know, if you're going to have a New Year's resolution, let it to be to put in actionable steps to help you love yourself and accept yourself and actively find peace. Thank you so much. I know you're going to be back with us in the new year. But I do want to, if you missed it off the top, we talked about a workshop that Sandra is hosting, a holiday peace workshop. Enjoy the holidays without losing control. And what you're going to learn in this workshop you can use in all areas

of your life, not just the holidays, I would imagine, without losing control around food or your family go to Sandra Alias S-A-N-D-R-A-E-L-I-A-D-R-A-E-L-I-A dot com slash holidays. We're going to add the link for you. Yes. And we can use the code, Livy Love. I love that. Livy Love for 25% off.

Final words, as we wish our members well as they, you know, venture out to the holidays. We're going to be on a little break. Yes. A little break over the holidays. I do have a piece of advice. I think that if during the holiday season, you can drop all expectations, every single one of them of having a peaceful family or getting together in the right days or the right gifts. And when you drop all expectations, then you can be filled with wonder and surprise. Like, look who showed up.

Oh, my God, I got a gift. Wow, this worked out because there's no expectations. No expectations. So fun, as usual. Love that. Adore you. Thanks to everyone who has joined us live or you're watching or listening after the fact. Again, you can also check out Sandra over on Instagram, Sandraaliyah.ca, and also her website, Sandraalia.com. Thank you so much. I adore you. I adore you as well. Bye.

Thank you.