The Livy Method Podcast - Spill the Tea - Spring/Summer 2024: Week 7

Episode Date: June 11, 2024

This is the live recording of the Spill the Tea session with Gina and Special Guest Jennifer Greig.You can find the full video hosted at:https://www.facebook.com/groups/livymethodspringsummer2024Topics covered:Spill The Tea with Gina and Introducing Jennifer GreigWhen tragedy strikes – Jennifer shares how grief hits us, and our kids, hard.Helping ourselves and our family at the same time.Why keep showing up when life shows up with more than we ever imagined?Getting off the sidelines with our family is huge.Being aware when we don’t feel good – the difference for Jennifer.Did Jennifer regret giving those clothes away? No way.When our partner loves us as we are, why change?The 10-minute rule and how boundaries serve Jennifer well.Jennifer shares her why and what healthy means for her.Navigating old habits, a very busy life, and high stress.Jennifer shares how to step back in. One thing at a time for the win.When we hit capacity. That 1% to give can still be your 100%.Non-negotiables and Jennifer’s tips to help make things doable.Journalling – where we share our feelings, not hide them.Our kids are watching what we are doing – we are showing them so many good things.Heartfelt thank you from Jennifer, there is no community like our community.We are resilient and will reach our goals. Together.Follow our Livy Loser account on IG @LivyLosers and use #livyloserTo learn more about the Livy Method, visit www.ginalivy.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm Gina Livy and welcome to the Livy Method podcast. This is where you'll have access to all of the live streams from my 91 day weight loss program. With a combination of daily lives, guest expert interviews and member stories, there is something new almost every day. Miss the morning live? Want to re-listen to one of our amazing guest experts? Well, this is the place. This podcast is hosted on Acast, but it's available on all podcast platforms, including the one you're listening to right now, Spotify, Apple,

and Amazon Music. Welcome to Spill the Tea. This community is so open and welcoming. People that don't even know you come in and say, you know, I've been there. I know how you're feeling. Hang in there. Losing weight, but gaining so much more. Oh, welcome to Spill the Tea, which is all about having real conversations with real people about their very real weight loss journeys. Joining me today is Jennifer Craig. Her and I have actually a lot in common because she has four kids, just as I do. She has that very typical story. She was called Chunky when she was young, told that she was beautiful for a big girl. She has her story, tried the diets, very successful, in fact, losing over 100 pounds. And when she found us, she was also quite successful. She was able to lose over 55 pounds with the program and then life hit. She gained 30 back

and she is now back with us and already down nine pounds. But her story is one of life. It's one of grief. It's one of resigning to overcoming. This last year, she lost her husband's best friend, her uncle, and her brother-in-law. I love this quote that she gave us. She said, the road might be bumpy, but it is still drivable. Try to avoid as many potholes as you can and pack a spare tire. Let's introduce Jennifer. girl you must be like driving around with a trailer full of spare tires yeah i i've had to put a few on to my car as we go along that my goodness well thank you for i'm so excited to chat with you because as you know we i know I know you, I know your story. We've, you know, featured you, you've been on my Instagram, you've talked about your stories. I mean, you were moving and grooving and doing great. And then tragedy struck. I mean, all within so much loss all within a year. I'm so sorry, by the way, like that, that is a lot. And then of course,

in reading your bio, you and I, I felt really connected with you about, you know, with your first marriage, you had a child, and then you were separated. And then he passed away when your daughter. He, we knew he was, you know, terminal. Yeah. And he set himself goals. I'm going to make it to her graduation. I'm going to make it to, you know, the summer. And he made it to her first day of grade nine. And I got the call the next morning that he passed. Yeah.

I'd sent him a picture. He'd looked at it and went to sleep and so he made his goal. Um, but it was very hard to support her, um, in her grieving. Well, I also grieved where we were very close co-parents. Um, he'd even come over for Christmas with my current husband and my family, you know, so my younger kids knew him as not just Haley's dad, but, you know, oh, is Shane coming over? What are we doing? So it was difficult. Still, she's almost 20. And it's still hits sometimes. So yeah, yeah, that was the part that connected with me. Of course, that was difficult for her, but I found with my kids, very similar situation.

We knew he was really ill. He went, you know, quicker than what we had expected. And it's one thing to help your kids, but when you have your own thing to deal with within that, and that kind of is on the back burner because you have to just be there and help your kids, It really does. Like it's, you know, one of the things I've been talking about with the guest experts that I have access to and my own healthcare providers is that stress is stress. Like you get up a lot of really great things going on in your life and you have some really tragic things going on in your life.

But then there's always this hyper state of vigilance, I would imagine with your daughter and what she's dealing with. So it's just like stress all the time. Yeah. Yeah. And I think it's the same for my husband as well. He's now lost two best friends. One last year passed from cancer. And the other was more than a few years ago. But he, he was out fishing. And that was their favorite thing to do. He was out fishing and his heart stopped in the boat. And I felt guilty grieving to a certain degree, because I felt like I was taking that away from him. Those were his best friends. And sometimes I felt guilty crying and, and so sorry, feeling the feels because I was supposed to be strong for him, but I was very close with both of them as

well. You know, they were uncles to my children. So one of the things that I learned, and I think this conversation is going to be about grief and weight loss as weird as that might sound, but I think it's an important conversation to have because what I've learned through my therapy is grief is grief. So whether it is someone super close to you or someone like, you know, we had last year, I had my kid's dad pass away and then I had a good friend of mine, Heather, and then we had Sarah Perry. And I was talking to my therapist and I was like, it's just like, why am I so sad? Like I knew Sarah, but I didn't know, like I've never met her. I knew in my therapist was like, grief is grief, Gina. It's the same. It's like if you're grieving for someone very close to you, grief for someone that you, you know, maybe not as closely is still the same. It's still grief. So this is a lot of grief because, you know, I saw your comments. I'm not sure what live was.

I think last night where we were talking about this, like that concept that life is too short. Fuck it. You know what I mean? Like people are dying. Why am I trying to lose weight? Weight loss can seem so trivial when you're dealing with all of this so why keep why keep showing up why how how tell us how tell us why i i keep showing up because i know i can do this i know i can do this and this program has given me so much more than weight loss um during my first program and I remember commenting

um on a live on my first program maybe it was in the second one um but as I said my son's on the spectrum we have a cottage and he is terrified of water oh my gosh um and after my first program I'd lost 24 pounds and I put on the swimsuit. I put on the swimsuit and I got in the pool with him. And we worked for weekends and come in the water, jump in the water, come in the water, jump in the water. Mommy's right here. I wasn't on the sidelines where he didn't trust. It wasn't a swim instructor that he didn't trust. was his mom in the water and I can proudly say he just finished a swimming program where he passed and didn't need we call them the scuba steve goggles um yeah that cover like everything um and he's 12 right so it's it's

like buddy you don't want to go to swimming lessons with scuba steve goggles like yeah i don't want you to get made fun of and and things of that nature no i still wear those but i still do wear those but he got in the water this round with just a nose plug and regular goggles and he passed the swimming class like that's huge me. It's huge that he'll jump off of our boat now when we go to the islands. It's he'll jump off the dock. And this is a kid who wouldn't put his head in underwater. Even bathing him as a baby was torture. So this program has given me things like that that make me keep wanting to come back. It's given me the confidence to join my friends, ATVing a trail that is terrifying. Like that's something I never

would have done. I'm joining the fun now. I'm not watching from the sidelines. And I know I can do this. And that's why I keep coming back because I know the program works when I work it. But my body is also very stress reactive. And I know that. And I really had to sit with myself over the last break and just like, why when times get tough, do I revert back to my own ways? And my own my old ways aren't even overeating, Gina, is that I don't eat at all. And when I do, it's that one meal, and it's whatever's in the fridge. And I really had to sit with that, like, why am I pushing aside something so simple, as eating broke protein for breakfast, grabbing a banana, making a lunch, whether it's,

sometimes it's a shitty salad with leftover chicken, right? But it's something. Yeah. But it's something. Like, why, why can't I just do those simple things that I need to do? I'm very type A, almost to a fault, where I feel like if I'm not doing everything, I don't do anything. Yeah. And I really had to work through that because I am worth it. So what's the answer to that? How did you get to that place? Cause there's a lot of people who struggle. Like it's one thing to come back after a weekend of indulging, it's another to come back like after a year of just shit hitting the fan. So how do you get to that place? I really leaned on the support of the community, to be honest. And I, I, I was vulnerable and I shared my struggles with everybody because it's

not all rainbows and butterflies on this journey. You may coast through, but everybody's going to hit a patch at some point in this, in this journey, that's going to take you off the road. It was the support of the community. And it was the way that I, I, because I had done a few programs, I was aware of how shitty I felt. I really was aware of how shitty I felt. I really was aware of how shitty I felt. I was drinking the wine again to fall asleep at night, to shut up the brain. I, I didn't want to get out of bed. I didn't want to do things with my kids. I wasn't pooping. I wasn't, I didn't feel good. And I wanted to feel good again, beyond the fact that my clothes were tight, because obviously 30 pounds on, the clothes were tight again.

However, I also gave away all those bigger clothes. I'm not going back because I'm not buying bigger clothes again. Yeah. I'm going to search through my closet like I did my first few rounds and put on what's in the closet when it fits, how it fits. Do you regret that? Do you regret giving those clothes away? Or do you feel like if you still had them, you might have been like, well, I got those clothes. I might as well make use of them.

I don't regret it. I don't regret it at all. Because, yeah, I think I've always, like you said, I've, I've lost a hundred pounds more than once. Yeah. You know, lost it, put it back on with the kids, lost it again, put it back on with the kids. I never got rid of the fat clothes ever. And I think that's a big thing for me. I don't regret it. I don't want to go buy bigger clothes because you were you got to a place a few times where you're like this is who i am so you mentioned your first husband um in the notes that i have your first husband he loved like this is the same with my when i met my first husband he

loved big women like he i had like big huge calves and he just talked about my big calves. Like that's the sexiest thing on the planet. He loved them. And you know, that's when I, when I met him, I was at my biggest. And so you talk about like, you were like, you were okay with that. Like, take me as I am like, this is good. Like, I'm just like, I'm, I'm okay here. He always made me feel loved. Yeah. Despite my size and always made me feel beautiful and tell me I was beautiful. And, and then even my, my current husband, um, he's known me at every stage of my life. We, we've been friends since we were 12 years old. We went to elementary school.

We went to high school. We lived down the street. Um, our kids actually go to the same elementary school that we both attended. So he's known me throughout every stage of my life. But I will say that I was worried because when we connected as adults, you know, after growing apart when, you know, school and life, when we connected as adults, that was when I was at my thinnest so the first time I started putting on weight with him I was worried I'm not gonna lie I was worried so why not accept

like what was the what was the turning point of going from like because you you know this is I think people struggle with this because there's a lot of people who, uh, carry extra weight, but they are happy that I feel good. Like why not just continue doing this? Because I feel better when I'm following the program that truly is. I'm taking care of myself. I'm prioritizing myself. The kids are getting older now. They don't need me to do everything for them. And it's okay for me to say, I'm sitting on the back deck right now, quietly after dinner, after lunches, after everything. And I love you to death, but please leave me alone. Yeah. Just to sit. Even if it's just to scroll Instagram, please just leave me alone.

When I was growing up, my mother had the 10 minute rule. So my mom, she was a nurse and she also worked in corporate world when I was younger. And she had a 10 minute rule. We were not allowed to speak to my mother until she was in the house in her room for 10 minutes alone. Oh, wow. And I think more of us should adopt that. And it was just for her to, before having to be a mom. Yeah. I had a one night, it was called Grey's Anatomy night. It was like that, that was it. Grey's Anatomy. I get my, my bottle of wine and the kids were like, do not talk to me. Do not talk to me. Leave

me. Like I was just like rage. So, okay. I'm getting the sense here. You know, you're talking about how good you felt. You're talking about like you lost the weight and then you were able to get in the water with your son. You know, I mean, you've lost the weight before. Is it about the weight or is it about everything else? I think it's about everything else because truly, like I did write in my bio, I've always been comfortable and confident in my own skin. Yeah. It's just the kind of person that I am. I don't know if it's necessarily about looking good for me. Yeah. Because what's the difference now putting on the swimsuit and getting in

the water? And I still do. I mean, I've gained back the 30 pounds. Well, 20 now. Okay. Yes. But I truly don't think it's about, my goal is never to be skinny. Okay. I probably won't ever be a skinny person. I want to be a healthy person. What's that mean? I have heart issues. So I have a mitral valve and

I know that eventually a mitral valve regurgitation, and I do know eventually it will be an open heart surgery. The problem with that is it needs to get worse before they'll go in and do that. Um, and I've just, I've lost so many, and it goes back to the grief and, and, you know, I've lost so many people in my life. I don't want to leave behind my kids and my husband and my friends. I don't, I don't want to leave this earth because I was unhealthy and on the verge of health issues. Like right now my blood work is fantastic. I'm not pre-diabetic. Like I don't have any of that. I have some high blood pressure, which also by doing the program comes down. I just, it's the healthy foods. And I love to cook, which is great because you can incorporate so much into this.

I don't want to leave this earth before my time because of the way I've treated my body. You know, that's a great way to... If it happens naturally, then, you know, that's great. But I don't want it to be because I've abused my body. It's interesting because a lot of people, when it comes to grief, they're like, well, life is short, Fuck it. Let me just eat all the things. When your perspective is like, no, let me do what I need to do to be as healthy as possible

so I can be here as long as possible. I mean, you can't lose weight unless you're healthy to begin with. And you know this because when, you know, before when you had your weight issue, you were like very similar to me in that you were like hardly eating anything. And that was not working for you at all. No, when I'm not eating like that, it feels like that meal that I do eat, my body keeps all of it. And I've heard you say before, your body needs to trust that you're not starving it because when you are starving it, it's not going to let you let go of anything. It's going to keep everything.

Yeah. Because even when I'm stressed out and not eating, I'm not binging on the pizza and the burgers. So that's another thing of doing the program and falling off. And I don't know if anybody else can relate. But even when I do go off, it might be just one meal that I choose to have. I don't go completely off the rails anymore. That's crazy to me. That's huge. Lots of non-scale victories, I would imagine. You had four kids. Let's talk about that. Age 19, 12, 10, and 10 twins.

Yes. So that's busy. It's busy. Some days I don't know how I get through. You also have a very high stress job. I do. So I work at a regional health center and right now I'm doing a scheduling specialist. So as you can imagine, it's and we and we do it for the entire health center. So it can be very stressful, less stressful than the coordinator position that I had last year. But we get to work from home. So it's a nice balance where I can kind of get the kids off. And I don't have to worry about the daycare stuff anymore. Pandemic was wild. I bet. Trying to homeschool the four of them, plus work full time, plus being at home.

I don't know how we made it. Honestly, I should have taken a stress leave. Looking back now, I really should have taken a stress leave. Yeah. Many of us, we should have just shut down everything. I mean, we kind of did shut down everything. Okay. So how do you, okay. Cause I'm thinking of our listeners now. And like I said, it's one thing to come back after a weekend of indulging, let alone all this time. What are, what are your tips for getting back at it? Because people just find that they know they've had bouts of success. They get off and just can't seem to get back there. And the reason why I'm highlighting is everything that you're going through is like, here you are, you are doing it. You have all these

things that you have to do. So how are you doing it? What is your, what you are, you are doing it. You have all these things that you have to do. So how are you doing it? What is your, what's going through your mind? Do you have down days? Would you do a mantra? Do you set intentions and updated reflections? What have you done to get back into it at this point? And, you know, back to losing again? I started really simple. I started with the water. Okay. I started with the water, something so simple. And this was during the break, the two week break, because I had, I had got it into my head that I'm doing this. I'm doing this. I'm back at it. And I started just with small things. So I started with my water. Was it just time? Cause I know you had

those programs in between where you're just like one after the other, after the other, you just couldn't, you tried, but you couldn't. What was different? Was it the time that went by or was it the mindset that you were really truly ready? Or was that time you took in between to think about it? Like what was the difference there? I think just those, those three rounds that I kept trying and trying and trying and falling, it was that I would, I would get back for a few days and then something stressful would hit me or work was crazy. And I would mute all of my timers. Cause I do have timers set on my phone because I'm all work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work. I need timers. So I have to set timers. Um,

and yeah, I think during those ones, I probably hit, I don't know, four weeks in and I was like, fuck it. I don't have the capacity to do this right now. I don't have the capacity. I'll start again next session. And I would always sign up for the session and start, you know, like I can do this again. And then something else would hit and I'd fall off again. I don't know what's different this time. Do you regret signing up for those, those ones earlier? Would you, would you have done that again? Would you have taken time off?

Like, that's what I'm trying to get at. I don't regret it at all. And I don't regret it because I say that I fell off. And I did. I fell off hard, but in different ways. I still checked in. I still set my intentions every morning. And I truly did have the best of intentions every morning. I think too, by sharing, it was the community that held me together,

held me up, cheered me on, or even just said, thank you for sharing your struggles because I feel the same way. And sometimes people don't want to admit that. But I don't think there's anything wrong in admitting that you're struggling. Yeah, there's a Pamela's here. Girl, you sound like me this round. This is why I want to have a real conversation about it. That's why I asked her, did you regret signing up again? Like if there's someone else who signed up again and they're just like, ah, I'm just not hitting it. You know, they could be thinking, should I just, should I just like pack it in? Should I just like try again? What should I do? You know, I think that's why I don't regret signing up because I think it's, it helps the mindset that yes, you can start again and try again because every little bit of effort that you put into it does make a difference. Had I not signed up for those in-between groups, even though I failed, I don't feel like it's a complete failure because in my old, like my pre-Gina life, I wouldn't have gained 30 pounds.

I would have gained 100 pounds. Ah, there we go. Yes. So because I was doing, I like to say, if you only have 1% to give on a particular day, that's your capacity is 1%. And you give that 1%, you've given it 100% for that day. Yeah, I love that. Trying at least give 1%. If all you can do is get the water in, get the water in. Okay. So let's go back to that. You're in that frame of mind. You sign up again for the spring summer program and you just, something has changed. Could be

time, could be whatever that is. And you start with the water, then what? How do we get back? How does Pam get back? How does Pam get back? So then I set my non-negotiables and that was my timers. Okay. So I set my, my timers. I got back into meal prep during the last year. I didn't meal prep at all. Maybe I'd make a soup, but because I wanted a soup and then I'd save the rest of it. So on Sundays, I boil eggs and I make sure that I have cottage cheese in the house and I go veggie shopping and I cut up the veggies. So I would say setting my timers and making them non-negotiable. I would also I also now setting my timers and making them non-negotiable. I would also, I also now consult my, my work calendar. So if I know that I'll be in a meeting, let's say for my veg snack time,

I'll go downstairs quickly before that meeting, grab the veg snack. I may eat it before the meeting or I might eat it after. If I don't bring it upstairs, I'm not going back down to get it. And I'll end up missing that meal or snack because the meeting has gotten in the way. So it's little things like that. I'm preparing myself. Um, the meal prep does really help. Um, and I started with those little steps and they were non-negotiables. And I also got a journal, which I've never journaled before. Nice. And I had a girlfriend say to me, aren't you afraid,

because it truly is a weight loss journal. Aren't you afraid that if something happens to your children, we'll find that. And I said, I'll be proud if they find that because it's my true feelings coming out in there and my honesty. I don't have anything to hide from them in that sense. They sit and watch your lives with me, despite the F-bombs and all. Yeah, I'm not afraid for them to find. I, I hope that one day my children won't go through the same struggles that I have my entire life. Um, and I do have a daughter. My one twin is very much built like mommy. Um, and her twin sister is itty bitty teeny weeny.

Um, so there's times that I worry about her about her um but she's watching the way that i eat and we kind of sneakily incorporate it like we have salad every single night with every meal yes it's the little things and it doesn't have to be an extravagant salad it can be the bagged salad i buy those all the time and they're a lifesaver, to be honest. Yeah. You get everything you need in one bag. Right. Yeah. So I do worry about my children, but I don't want them to have to go through what I've gone through most good habits, it'll follow. Yeah. you are honoring yourself. You're showing up for yourself. You haven't given up on yourself. They see you eating good nutrient rich foods. They see you getting in the water and playing. And it's nothing wrong for them to see you want to make change either. You know, I think that we

are meant to change and evolve. And, you know, and I love the fact though, though, through all of this, you have been a very accepting of where you are and who you are. And I think that is one thing that they will remember. I cannot believe our time is up. I honestly, this just flew by. I know we are over time, but I know you have got to address the community. One of the things I'm most proud of is our amazing community, bringing people together. Whenever I have an opportunity to meet our amazing community, it is just so joyful and it's never about the weight at the end of the day.

It's just like-minded people trying to do their best. So what would you like to say? I know you have a big fan base, everyone watching you live right now. What would you like to say to them? I would like to say to this community, thank you for all of your support over the last year. But throughout all the programs, I have made so many friends through this program that I truly consider friends that I chat to on the side that we share our struggles, we share our victories. There's no community in the world like the Libby community. And I just, I want to thank each and every one of you. You don't know how you affect somebody's life some days. A simple comment can make the world

of difference to somebody and how they're feeling, especially when they're sharing some vulnerable posts. So I want to thank you guys. And you've got this. Don't let yourself fall off for the whole program. It's not fun getting back on. If you can pick yourself up one day at a time, start your day setting that intention and truly try and give it your all, but also accept where you are in that day. Learn your capacities and work within them. I think that's the most important thing. And that's how I've gotten back on track is just really realizing and dealing with

the stress and what is my capacity today? What can, what do I know I can do well today? Let's work on that today. Even 1% is a hundred percent. Even one percent some days is a hundred percent. It's not 0%. I love it. And it adds up all those little things. Here's a comment from Rhonda. Jennifer, you're such an inspiration to so many, including me. Thank you. And here's Joanna's. I really needed to hear your story today. I can't thank you enough for sharing your story. Let me just say thank you, Jennifer, honestly, because I think it's so important. I think that we don't necessarily have to go through the things to learn if the person who's gone through the things is vulnerable in sharing what they've been through. I think there's so much to learn from that.

And you're right. I truly believe the right thing said at the right time can be make or break in someone's journey. And that's why I'm so appreciative that you've taken the time to share your story with us today. So thank you so much for joining me. Oh, why don't you go? Put her in the back. I'll catch up with her in a second. So Jennifer and Greg, honestly, like I said, we, you know, we do have thousands of people run through the hundred thousand people run through the program every year. And we do get to know our members. I am in there. I am reading comments.

And we do try to get to know as many people as possible and are able to see them through their journeys. And I cannot tell you, I know she is going to reach her goals. I have seen many people before her come through the program and struggle, come in and out and have life smacking them in the face, but they continue to be resilient. They continue to show up and they do not give up. And they do go on to reach those finally and forever weight loss goals. And Jennifer, no doubt is going to get there as well. So just a massive thank you, heartfelt thank you for her sharing her story. As I mentioned, I felt really connected with her. I've just kind of been reading my notes about her. We share some similarities for sure. If you are watching

this and you don't know Jennifer, maybe you don't know anyone in the program or in our community, you are welcomed. You are not alone. And you have thousands of people who are happy to be here and support you if you need. If you are listening by way of our podcast and you're using our app and you've never even been in a Facebook support group, it is not too late for you to join and come in and read the comments. Just reading the comments and being part of the conversation, you will realize you are not alone. So tomorrow, we got a couple of great things happening tomorrow. So tomorrow, we are doing the tweak this week chats, we're gonna talk about splitting up the meals and snacks, Kim and I and then on Thursday, Dr. Beverly David's going to join us, you can talk about that internal dialogue, how can we get it to shut up? Maybe a little bit more motivating, in a more positive

way. And then I'm introducing a new guest this week, Kyle Buchanan. So that's fun. We are far from done around here at Week 7 of the program. We still have a lot to work through and a lot to cover. So don't go anywhere. Have an amazing rest of your day, everyone. I'll see you tomorrow.

Bye.