The Mel Robbins Podcast - Don’t Quit: The Reminder You Need to Hear When You Feel Unmotivated

Episode Date: January 18, 2024

Do you feel like quitting on your goals?Do you want to give up on your resolutions?Are you just plain unmotivated?Mel delivers her most powerful pep talk, designed to light the fire inside you so you ...can break through any setback.She’ll give you the tools you need to power through resistance and shut down any negative thoughts holding you back. You will want to listen to this over and over again.You will learn the secret to gaining unstoppable confidence. You’ll get incredible insights on how to reinvent yourself if you feel like giving up and reclaiming the dream you gave up on. In this episode, you will learn:The research that reveals what day of the month most people quit on goals and resolutions.Two truths about life that help you tap into your power.What you need to REALLY do the next time you miss a day of the new challenge, diet, or workout plan, so you stay on track.The advice you need if you’re struggling with your new goals.One thing to remember when your motivation plummets.What to do when you’re not seeing results.Why the resolutions you make on vacation are impossible to sustain.Why your dreams are an important part of achieving your goals.The one essential question that will change your life.What to do when your life feels “blah” and uninspiring.How to build unshakeable self-confidence.What you MUST watch at least once in your life.The truth about waiting for the “right time” to change.This episode comes with a 29-page companion workbook. This workbook is designed using the latest research to help you get clear about what you want and empower you to take the next step forward in your life. And the cool part? It takes less than a minute for you to get your hands on it. Just sign up at melrobbins.com/bestyearWatch the episodes on YouTube: https://bit.ly/45OWCNrCheck out Mel’s book, The High 5 Habit: https://a.co/d/g1DQ8Pt Follow Mel:Instagram: https://bit.ly/3QfG8bbThe Mel Robbins Podcast Instagram: https://bit.ly/49bg4GPLinkedIn: https://bit.ly/46Mh0QBTikTok: https://bit.ly/46Kpw2v Sign up for my newsletter: https://bit.ly/46PVnPsWant more resources? Go to the podcast page here. Disclaimer

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast. Today I am truly deeply excited because I am going to share a concept with you that I learned two years ago that has fundamentally changed the way that I think about discipline, willpower, consistency, you're gonna fricking love this. And when I realized, holy cow, I haven't talked to you about this thing called quitter's day. Have you heard anybody talk about the phenomenon called quitter's day? Anywhere. Television, podcast, anywhere. I mean, if you've taken a course with me, then you've heard me talk about it. But have you
Starting point is 00:00:44 heard anyone else talk about the fact that there is something called quitter's day? It is a legit phenomenon. And when I learned about what quitter's day was, and I learned about the research around it, holy smokes. It has helped me be so much more consistent when I'm trying to do anything new. You're going to fricking love this. So here's the deal. Researchers have found, get this, that based on data, there is a particular day of the month that most people quit when they have new healthhmm. And there's two reasons why I freaking love this topic of Quitter's Day. First of all, nobody talks about, I mean, just stop and think,
Starting point is 00:01:34 if there's actually a day where most people quit, I'd like to know that day, wouldn't you like to know that day? Of course you would. And that brings me to the second reason why I'm so excited about this topic. If you know the day that people are most likely to quit, you can take the steps to avoid it. It's kind of like a pothole in the road, right? You just steer right around it if you see it.
Starting point is 00:01:56 And if you expect it, you can navigate around it. So let's talk about quitterstay, shall we? So that you don't quit. And neither do I. When is quitterstay, shall we? So that you don't quit and neither do I. When is Quitterstay? Day 19. It is day 19 into any new routine and this research comes from a company called Strava.
Starting point is 00:02:14 Now Strava is a fitness app and people use this app to track their runs. And Strava looked at over 800 million user logged activities. That's a lot of data. That is a lot of information. And based on the data from 800 million pieces of logged activity, they crunch the numbers and said the day when most people are likely to give up on their New Year's resolution, day 19, when most people are likely to give up on their New Year's resolution, day 19. The day when most people are likely to give up that new thing they started, day 19.
Starting point is 00:02:51 That's why it's called Quitter's Day, day 19, which is why you and I are talking about it today. Because guess what, day 19 of 2024 is right around the corner, and you, my friend, are not gonna hit that pothole. You are gonna know it's coming, and you are just gonna steer right around the corner and you, my friend, are not going to hit that pothole. You are going to know it's coming and you are just going to steer right around it. And if you're listening to this, it's some other time of the year or some other year entirely. This is still relevant because
Starting point is 00:03:14 anytime you make a change, you need to know that quitter's day is on the horizon. And research is also very interesting about new changes because most of us start a new habit or make a new change when on a Monday or on the first of the year or at the beginning of a new quarter or at the beginning of a school year. And so if that's you, guess what, there's a day 19 in that game too and it's common. And if you're doing dry January right now or whole 30 or any one of the challenges that people take on at the beginning of the year and you're approaching that day 19, it's losing its luster, isn't it? When you jumped onto the bandwagon on New Year's Eve, and it's like, I'll do dry January
Starting point is 00:03:58 with you guys, you are all excited and motivated, you were excited for the first week or so as you're making your mocktails, but now that we're cranking into week three, you may be sleepin' better, but boy, is this work? Or if you've been going to the gym, this was the year. You're going to attack the gym, man, or you've been jumping on the peloton, or you've been working on not being so emotional. Not being so reactive. Just let them to the people around you. Isn't it interesting?
Starting point is 00:04:32 It's kind of easy week one. Week two, it starts to be a bit of a grind. Week three, it's like, is this ever gonna end? Why did I create a do this? I'll tell you why, this is hard because managing this change, holy smokes, it's a lot of energy to create new neuroplasticity. It's a lot of energy to rewire your nervous system. It takes a lot of activation energy to break through old habits.
Starting point is 00:04:59 That's why we quit because the newness is worn off. It's not that motivating anymore. Is it? It's not that off. It's not that motivating anymore. Is it? It's not that exciting. It's not that shiny. You may even start to feel what I always feel right around this time. You know what I always feel? I feel mad at myself.
Starting point is 00:05:13 I feel mad at myself that I actually agreed to do this BS. I start rebelling against myself. I start being angry that I actually agreed to take the sun. I might even be snippy at Chris when I'm like, we have to go for a walk. I know I agreed for it. Go for a walk every day after dinner, but I know why I don't go for a walk. And I know you know what I'm talking about. And here's the other reason why we start to feel like quitting right about now. I'll tell you why. Are you seeing any results? I'm not seeing any results. I mean, this is hard work to change my life. I kind of thought
Starting point is 00:05:47 if I just stopped eating gluten, all of a sudden the metapause middle would be gonzo by now, but I'm not seeing the results I wanted to see. And this is particularly true, if you kind of got duped in to make and changes while you're on vacation, you know, you're on vacation, you're away from your life, you're like, oh, this is easy. I can have a smoothie every day because they're making it at the hotel. Oh, this is easy. I can go for a walk every day because it's warm outside where I am right now and I'm not at work. So I got the time to do this.
Starting point is 00:06:15 But guess what? It's now week two or week three and you're back at work. You're back at school. And it's kind of hard to fit all this new stuff in and get to the grocery store and prep all the stuff. Life is starting to overwhelm you. Because the new you is now in your old life. That's why it feels like a lot of work.
Starting point is 00:06:32 Everything else in your life didn't change. Not the place that you live, not the place that you work, just the things that you're trying to do in here. And here's another mistake that you make and I make right about now. You've probably missed a day, haven't you? If you're a normal human being and you're not a robot, you probably missed a day. And somehow, because you haven't kept the perfect streak,
Starting point is 00:06:54 you think all the progress is lost. All the moves I've made for not, well guess what? Your friend Mel Robbins is here to tell you. Research says that's not true. It's not true. All the time that you have spent practicing this new behavior, going to the gym, eating the healthy stuff, drinking your water,
Starting point is 00:07:12 making your mocktails, doing what you know you need to do, guess what, from a neuroplasticity standpoint, you're making a lot of progress. And that progress doesn't disappear overnight. Your body doesn't just forget that you haven't had alcohol. Your body doesn't just forget all of the weight training that you've been doing, not in a day or two, but you think because you needed to make a streak of this thing, that if you miss one day, all of a sudden you fall off the wagon and the wagon has taken off in a sprint to the sunset,
Starting point is 00:07:47 it is without you, it is stranded you here on the road, you are screwed, it is over, no changes for you. Bologna, scientifically, it is not true. You did not fall off the wagon. You hit a bump and now your seat is back on the wagon and you can keep going. From a habit formation standpoint, you still get all those days that you made the good choices. So don't quit. But that's why so many of us do quit right around this time. They missed a day. They're exhausted. How sad is that? But not you, not you, because you're gonna do
Starting point is 00:08:27 what I'm gonna do. You know what I do if I'm in like a month-long challenge and I miss a day? I just had a day. That's it. Just had a day. Instead of quitting at a day, because if you're sick for one day
Starting point is 00:08:41 or you're overwhelmed at work, don't let that prevent you from pushing yourself to keep moving forward. Of course, you can make the changes stick. Of course, you can make the money that you want to make. Of course, you can still launch that business. Of course, you can get into nursing school. Of course, you can do this. Just because it's hard, doesn't mean you can't do it. Just because it's lost is luster. Doesn't mean you can't do it just because it's lost as luster doesn't mean you can't push forward in moments like this. I'm gonna tell you some two things really help. First of all, you got to remind yourself why did you want this change in
Starting point is 00:09:13 the first place? Now you're standing there, you're tired, you don't feel like doing it. Why did you want to do this? And this works so well. This is research from the University of Oregon. I have talked about this now on multiple podcasts that we have released in the last month. I have even given you a free resource that you can still get your your mits on. You can download it in less than a minute at MelRobins.com slash best year. Several hundred thousand fellow listeners. I've already downloaded this from around the world. Do not miss out on living the life you could be living because this will help you answer what do you want and why do you want it. And once you
Starting point is 00:09:53 figure out why do I want this? Why do I want to spend a month not drinking? Why do I want to spend a month eating whole foods? Why do I want to spend a month in a experiment where I've removed gluten or dairy or sugar or something for my health? Why do I want to put in resistance training? Why do I want to get serious about making some money here? Huh? Why do I want to do that? Why do I want to heal? When you know that, there is no fricking quitter's day for you because you know what you want and you know why you want it You know what else can really help in a moment like this?
Starting point is 00:10:29 Where you're kind of dragon and you know why you want it? But you know that friend who said they would jump on the peloton with you every single day this month They haven't been around all last three days to give it out little virtual high five. Nope, you're doing it on your own. You know, the friends, oh yeah, let's do dry January. Now, they're at a wedding this week, and quote, technically, they're not doing dry January with you, but they said technically they wouldn't do dry January over this weekend. So they're not really doing dry January. They're doing dry January their way, which means they're not doing it your way, which makes you feel like, why am I doing it the dry January way? When I could be doing it my way, the way everybody
Starting point is 00:11:07 else is kind of cheated. No, you know what you need right now? You need some encouragement from someone else. You need encouragement from somebody who really believes in you. You need encouragement for somebody who really is going to get behind that why. And I realize you can't always rely on somebody else being there to encourage you, but your friend Mel Robbins is here today. And I know that Quitter's Day is right around the corner. So I've decided today, you know what I can do for you and what I can do for me? I can turn up the base. I can crank the volume. And I can cheer a whole heck of a lot louder for you because you can keep going. And when you keep going, that's
Starting point is 00:11:44 the difference between people who achieve great things and people who don't. When you are able to keep going, when most people stop, quitter's day will not affect you. In fact, quitter's day, quitter's day, I'm like, bring that puppy on, baby. I could use a good quitter's day because the gym's awfully crowded right now. Let's get a quitter's day going. That's right. Let's separate those of us who are willing to push ourselves and to motivate ourselves and to cheer each other on from those folks who for whatever reason won't be doing that. Which technically in my book makes it winter's day, right? Winter's day is when a lot of us keep going. That's what determines a winner. It's not what happens way down the line.
Starting point is 00:12:28 It's what happens when things get really tough, right? What determines a winner is when you face day 19. You want to throw in the towel, but you don't. What determines a winner is when your friends are like, well, technically I'm in winning this weekend, so we're doing dry January, but just not this weekend. You're like, yeah, cheers to you. Lack of integrity, that's not dry January.
Starting point is 00:12:51 That's just normal drinking habits, okay? Dry January is when you go 30 days and you don't drink, and I'm a winner, so I'm not quitting on day 19 just because there's a wedding on the books. Here we go. And so today, I am going to be your own personal cheering squad. I am going to be the one that says, yes, you can. Yes, you will.
Starting point is 00:13:12 Let's get going. I see you. I know this blows, but let's keep going. Have you ever stood by the way near the end of a marathon? Like for real, have you ever, in your life, watched a marathon? If you have not done this, have you ever in your life watched a marathon?
Starting point is 00:13:25 If you have not done this, will you promise me you will watch a marathon someday? It is one of the most inspiring things you will ever witness because here's what happens. As you watch all these people running this race and they're wearing shirts dedicated to people and people are going by in wheelchairs and folks with disabilities, blind runners are being led by people that are co-running with them to guide. Like, it is the most inspiring thing that no matter what shape you're in, as you're watching this, at some point, something stirs up inside of you and you say to yourself, I got to do a marathon
Starting point is 00:14:05 someday. This is pretty amazing. And so if you're standing at the end of a marathon, here's what you would experience. You ready? First of all, in no time flat, you're barely done drinking your coffee and somehow the world-class runners leading the pack are breaking land speed records on foot and they go fly in by you at the speed of light you're like well did they just run 26 what it's unbelievable and then there's this massive wave of just great runners and then there's another wave of like the weekend warriors that run, right? And then comes my favorite part. And my favorite part of a marathon happens near the finish line after five hours in. Because after five, five and a half hours in,
Starting point is 00:15:00 that's when you see every day people Who have committed to doing this? Every day people like you and me who are Dragon themselves through 26.2 miles of a race course and You are seeing them near the end of this. They are walking or crawling or limping or dragging or wheeling. And in some cases, there are a few that are even jogging as they make it across the finish line.
Starting point is 00:15:38 It is not about the time that it took for them to get there. What you experience is the heart and the soul of a winning spirit, someone who is willing to keep putting one foot in front of the other. And so I'm going to be the person on the side of whatever race you're running. I am clapping. I am screaming. I am cheering. I am high-fiving you. I am going to give you my best inspirational, amazingness that I got to give. And I'm talking like the really good stuff. Well, today, guess what? You're going to hear it here because I've curated it as a playlist, a playlist of motivation that you need to hear,
Starting point is 00:16:26 of cheerleading, of encouragement to remind you that there's no quitter's day here for you, because you, yes, you are a winner. So please bookmark this for real. Send this to somebody who needs to know that quitter's day is common, but they're going to keep on running by it. I guarantee you, this is so good. Someone is going to rip this off. The second I release it and turn it into a YouTube video on their channel because it is the best motivational compilation ever, but you're going to hear it here first because you are a winner. You deserve your dreams. Because those dreams are why you started
Starting point is 00:17:09 these changes in the first place. Those dreams are why you have to run past Quitter's Day. Day 19, get out of here. You're gonna be in the rear view mirror. We got bigger things to do. And you got bigger things to do because you are a winner. So winners, listen to this. So I have something pretty amazing that I want to give you today. It's exactly what you need to
Starting point is 00:17:36 hear. It is not just a pep talk. It is the kind of message that a really dear friend who's fed up with you delivers straight between the eyes. What am I talking about? I'm talking about your dreams. You're the kind of person just like me that every single year you write down the things that you want in your life. And as each year rolls on and the new list gets written, you move the thing that you didn't work on this year to the list that you do for the next year. And on and on and on. I mean, how many years have you been thinking about writing a book
Starting point is 00:18:14 or changing your job or changing where you live or healing some aspect of your past or finding love or learning how to love yourself or starting that business? These things that you hold in your heart, they are meant to be out in the world. perspective your past or finding love or learning how to love yourself or starting that business. These things that you hold in your heart, they are meant to be out in the world. And today I'm on a mission to get you to stop waiting. Stop waiting for the perfect time.
Starting point is 00:18:36 Stop waiting to feel ready. Stop waiting for the money. Stop waiting for permission. Stop waiting to feel like somebody's going to care about this. The only person that needs to care about this. The only person that needs to care enough is you, because today is the day that you're going to pick up the pen, you're going to start the research, you're going to commit to taking action.
Starting point is 00:18:55 Why? Because that's what you're meant to do with your life. You're meant to create a bigger vision for yourself. And the reason why I wanted to talk to you about this today is because I know you need to hear it. And look, I don't want to scare you. But I kind of want to take my hands right now and put them on your cheeks or your shoulders
Starting point is 00:19:16 and shake you because I want to wake you up. And I need you to realize that your life is a melting ice cube. And I think we all believe that we have time. That at some point it'll be the right time. That someday you'll feel ready. That someday it'll be perfect. That someday you'll be a legitimate writer. That someday you'll have some to say. And I'm here to tell you right now that today is that someday. You will waste your whole life. You will watch time tick by waiting for some day to come. And you will watch that ice cube melt. And you are listening to this right now because you needed to hear this. You have on that secret list that you either have on a piece of paper or you have tucked
Starting point is 00:20:05 into your heart, a dream, a goal, something that you want to change, that you are too fucking scared to get started on. And today that ends. Today, you're going to stop waiting. You're going to stop wishing. You're going to stop waiting for the right time, waiting for this to happen, waiting for the other thing to happen, waiting for you to feel ready, waiting for this, waiting for that, that ice cube is going to be a puddle that will evaporate if you keep doing that. And I am not going to let 20 years go by.
Starting point is 00:20:34 No way. And my mission today is to light a fire under your ass and have it burn so bright that that fire inside you becomes the engine that drives you. And that's exactly what I'm going to do after we take a short break and hear a word from our sponsors. Don't you dare go anywhere. I'll be waiting for you when you come back. It's your pal Mel Robbins and today we make a commitment to ourselves that we are going to get started.
Starting point is 00:21:14 What that means is it means that you need to start to take your time and your energy and in whatever way you can and whatever capacity that you can, you need to start to direct your time and energy at the things that you want, not at the things that you have. And look, I know so many of you have really full lives right now. You're a single parent, you're caring for aging parents, you're underwater with your bills. You've got 10 minutes a day. You've got five minutes a day. You've got five minutes a day. You've got 15 minutes a day. And that's what I want to inspire you to start doing. I feel so adamant about this because time keeps going even if you don't. Because when you're so in it, you're so busy in your day-to-day life as it is right now that you can't see the bigger picture.
Starting point is 00:22:06 Time is passing, it's always passing. I'll give you an example for my own life. I think a lot about this moment where after we sold our house where we raised our kids outside of Boston, where we spent 26 years, I always thought when I lived there, I would live there forever. I just took it for granted.
Starting point is 00:22:26 And over a year ago, I drove down the street that I had been driving up and down for 26 years for the very last time. And I saw the house that I had raised my kids in disappearing in the rear view mirror for the last time. I say that because eventually you're going to look back on this moment too. And you're going to think, my God, I wish I had begun back then. I wish I had started. I wish I had said, fuck it. I know it's not going to happen overnight, but I'm not going to let my entire life go by. Just thinking about this thing that I want to create, I'm going to try. I'm going to step out of the thinking
Starting point is 00:23:12 and on step into the doing, because it's never going to feel like the right time. It's never going to feel perfect. You're not going to feel worthy until you actually start taking the actions. I want you to stop waiting to create what you want in your life. If you want to make art, make art. If you want to write, write.
Starting point is 00:23:33 If you want to travel, you've got to figure out how you can travel. You are missing out on everything because you're waiting for someday. You're waiting for someday to feel ready're waiting for some day to feel ready, some day for it to be perfect, some day. Well, I'll tell you what, today is that someday. That's right. Today is the day that you find the courage
Starting point is 00:23:58 and you carve out a little time and you direct your energy in a brand new direction, why? Because you deserve that. And just so you're clear, in a brand new direction, why? Because you deserve that. And just so you're clear, those excuses that you have, they dim that fire. Remember what I said earlier?
Starting point is 00:24:12 You are full of excuses, but you're running out of time. So let me stoke the flames with a little more coaching. See, in life, time and energy are your two biggest commodities. Your life is like a melting ice cube. time and energy are your two biggest commodities. Your life is like a melting ice cube. Every day that goes by, it melts a little bit more. You know, you've been so busy waiting for somebody else to tell you it's okay to do it, that you're missing the real power
Starting point is 00:24:37 in pushing yourself through the fear and the imposter syndrome and the self-doubt. And that's why I so want you to start to take this seriously. That today be the day that you get started. You can find 5, 10, 15 minutes a day to start chipping away and doing the work to figure out how to make some version of what you want a reality in your life. And we know based on the research and based on what you learn on this podcast, it's simply spending time every day working on something that really matters to you is the secret to
Starting point is 00:25:18 bringing more meaning and joy into your life. Why? Because when you start to acknowledge your dreams by working on them, you validate something deep within your soul. Why? Because when you start to acknowledge your dreams by working on them, you validate something deep within your soul. Simply working on it brings something alive inside of you. What you bring to each and every day that you wake up is what you're going to create more and more of, and that's the secret. Everybody talks about habits and how habits help you determine who you are. I want to blow it down and make it even more simple. going to create more and more of, and that's the secret. Everybody talks about habits and how habits like help you determine who you are. I want to blow it down and make it even more simple. Where you put your time and energy every single day, we'll define the life you create.
Starting point is 00:25:55 And so if you're putting your energy into relationships where you're not getting back what you deserve, that is a waste of time. A waste of your precious time is the time that you have during the day, I'm talking five, ten, fifteen minutes, are you directing it at what you want to create, or are you just mindlessly going through the day and through the routine and keeping everything the same? The energy that you're putting into relationships are those relationships that are giving you something back in return. I am here to tell you you can change your life by waking up every day, being very clear about what you want, taking responsibility for creating it day by day by day, and slowly
Starting point is 00:26:41 redirecting your time and energy toward the things that you want. It's just like pointing your car in a new direction and driving forward. And ultimately, it takes you somewhere new. You know, I have another listener writing in, I want to become a surgeon, but the process is very complicated. Well, no shit. It is very complicated. If you look at the end result, but it's not complicated at all.
Starting point is 00:27:08 If you wake up every day and you ask yourself, how can I pour time and energy today in a small way into this thing that I want to create? And when you start to get that intentional, when you take responsibility for what you want and moving your life in small ways every single day toward it, everything changes and it's not that complicated at all. When it comes to the things that you've never done, the dreams that you haven't begun working on, you're not afraid, you're not an imposter, you're not unworthy. You're just a beginner. And all that a beginner needs to do is wake up every day and in small ways point their
Starting point is 00:27:53 time and their energy toward working at it. And if you do that one of these days, you'll wake up, maybe it'll be someday soon. Maybe it'll be a decade from now. But you'll wake up and that dream that you've been writing on your list and moving from one piece of paper to another, year after year. We'll stop being a thing that you think about and it will become what your life is centered around. Because you're the one that woke up and made it happen.
Starting point is 00:28:26 Day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year. That's how you get it done. I'm serious about that. And that's why I'm here cheering for you. That's why I'm clapping and I'm serious about that. And that's why I'm here cheering for you. That's why I'm clapping and I'm high five in and I'm telling you, Pothole, Quitter's Day, run around that sucker. And you know what it takes to run right past Quitter's Day and be like, I'm a winner, confidence. And that's what you and I are talking about next. So you keep on going and I'll be standing right here waiting for you after a short word
Starting point is 00:29:04 from our sponsors, clapping, cheering. So you keep going going and I'll be standing right here waiting for you after a short word from our sponsors Clapin cheering so you keep going stay with us Welcome back. We're talking about quitter's day, which no longer applies to you and me, right? We see it and we raise the game because we're winners, and we're going to keep on going, talk about confidence. You and I have that for days. And confidence is what you need to push through the hardest moments, because sometimes you do feel like giving up.
Starting point is 00:29:42 Confidence is not something you build when you're winning. I think oftentimes we're winning what gets built is arrogance and bravado. And we forget what went into winning at something in the first place. True confidence, the skill of confidence, it's forged in fire. I mean, I've failed more times than I have time to tell you. You guys know that a decade ago, talk about failure, 800 grand in debt, unemployed, drinking my way through my problems, and all of that heartbreak and headache and breakdown in my life, which was horrendous to go through, it led me to the five-second rule. If there was no debt, there
Starting point is 00:30:27 was no drinking, there was no heartache, there would be no five-second rule. When I was a talk show host, I hear I was taping a talk show at CBS Broadcast Center here in New York City. It was a dream of mine to be able to have a daytime talk show, it gets canceled. It was leading me somewhere. Where? To this podcast, which is my most favorite thing that I've ever done in my career. I choose not to stay in a place of self-doubt. I choose not to wallow in failure because I know that life is always preparing you for something and I know that your greatest failures, your biggest heart breaks, they always teach you the most important lessons in life. You know, and I keep getting questions from you guys, oh my God, you're so confident.
Starting point is 00:31:21 Like what? You're 54 years old. You keep reinventing yourself. What is it inside you, Mel? What is it inside me that makes me take all these risks, that makes me constantly try new things, that makes me willing to fail to do something embarrassing or even disastrous.
Starting point is 00:31:41 I'll tell you what it is. I want to get as much out of this life as I possibly can. And if you look at the math, I'm halfway through it. And it scares me to think that I could be on my deathbed and look back on my life and say, I wish I had had the confidence to try that. I do not wanna die and have regrets. And so while I'm here, while I'm breathing, while I'm able to, I am going to follow my curiosity,
Starting point is 00:32:15 I am gonna follow my heart, I am going to try new things, I am going to do absolutely everything that I can do to grow, to feel, to learn. And that's going to require me to take risks. That's going to require me to fuck up things. That's going to require me to look stupid. And I'm willing to do that because I know on the other side of the biggest heart breaks of your life are the most amazing heart-filled moments.
Starting point is 00:32:45 I know that in the middle of every failure that I experience and boy, I experience them oftentimes of my own doing, every single failure has honest to God equipped me with the lessons and the skill or the wisdom that I needed to be able to do something even cooler down the line. You know that you would not be the person you are today. Had it not been for that thing that you experienced, that you survived, that you learned from. And so, what drives me is just wanting to experience as much as I can from this one life
Starting point is 00:33:29 that I have. And it's not all going to be a joyride. And so I'm willing to take the risk. I'm willing to try. I'm willing to look stupid. And I'm willing to do it because I think the payoff that you get, it's worth it. It's so worth it. So, that this moment is leading you somewhere and you have within you, not only the willingness to try, but you have the willingness to
Starting point is 00:33:55 face absolutely anything in your life, and you have the ability to take action, which is what changes everything. Confidence is your birthright. It is a skill that you build, it is a habit that you keep. Shit is going to get hard at times. It does for all of us. And you are going to fall, you are going to fail, you are going to have dark moments, you are going to feel lost. And what I want you to know is if you are willing to get up every single day and dust yourself off and learn the lesson and tell yourself that every day you're getting a little bit better and you are the kind of person that knows that eventually this is leading you where you meant to go and you're just going to get up and you're going to try again and you're going to do that thing. You my friend are not only going to be practicing and building confidence, you are going to
Starting point is 00:35:00 feel it too. And finally, as you're pushing yourself, I know I've been allowed, I've been reminding you that you're a winner. This is about stamina. And so I'm going to take it down. I've been clapping my hands so hard for you that I got blisters for crying out loud. But there is also something else that you need. You need a reminder that life is not a sprint, it is a marathon. And in order to go the distance, you also have to learn how to
Starting point is 00:35:37 take my cheering and belief in you and learn how to become your biggest cheerleader and believe in yourself. I am telling you, the best days of your life are ahead of you. You have to start dreaming big right now. It creates this upward spiral. You can do this. There is a flame burning inside you. There is. You know it. You can feel it. You know that you're meant for more. You know you are not supposed to be broken down on the side of the road on this road trip called life.
Starting point is 00:36:16 And I think we underestimate how quickly you can turn your life in a new direction. We spend so much time thinking it's not possible. We put so much energy into our excuses and our fears. And when you get to a point where you can say, I'm done feeling this way. I want this to feel good. I want to turn my life in a new direction. It is amazing how quickly things can happen. You only get one life.
Starting point is 00:36:47 You do have dreams and you do deserve to make this next leg of the journey of this thing called life as exciting and as amazing as you possibly can. So pull over, assess where you are. Pull over, assess where you are. Remember, do not stare at the rear view mirror, but focus on the windshield because you're going forward, my friend. Remind yourself that the best years of your life are on the road ahead. And I promise you, you will travel far beyond what you can currently see. Because one day, this epic road trip that we call life, it's going to be over. And if what everybody who has approached that final leg of the journey says is true, it's going to happen for you and me in the blink of an eye.
Starting point is 00:37:39 So please, find the courage to create a new course for your life. Find the courage to take the wheel and steer it in whatever direction your heart desires. And find the courage to enjoy it. It all starts with you. And don't ever forget, you're not doing this alone because your friend Mel Robbins, I'm right here by your side. I will push you past quitter's day because you my friend are a winner. Please come back to these pep talks whenever you need them and I'll be here. Please share them with absolutely everybody that you love because we all need to be cheered
Starting point is 00:38:26 forward like this. We all need to be reminded that there is greatness inside us, that just because we miss a day doesn't mean we're going to miss out on our dreams. That when you see day 19 in front of you, you can push right past it and put it behind you. And if you do, maybe just maybe your dreams will come true. But here's what I do know. You will become the person that you know you're meant to be.
Starting point is 00:38:56 And that makes you a winner. And one more thing, in case nobody else tells you, I'll tell you, I love you, I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to change your life. Because you're a winner. I'll talk to you in a few days. We're rolling. We're rolling. Go ahead. We're ready, right? Jesse, you ready? Okay, we're rolling. Go ahead.
Starting point is 00:39:25 We're ready, right? Jesse, you ready, huh? Okay, we're ready. Go ahead, Dre's. Oh, Tracy, hold on a second. We're almost there. She's like, what are we talking about today? Great, okay, hold on a second.
Starting point is 00:39:37 Okay, here we go. You're at Gacha, okay. I don't know. I just feel like this is like, wah, wah, wah. Hey, it's your friend Mel Robbins. And, oh, hey, it's Mel. Oh! Okay, Josh is like, you need water.
Starting point is 00:39:52 I don't know if I have any water up here. She's getting it. She's gonna get me a little water. Here we go. Okay, now she's back. I want a rear wheel. One more time. That was the perfect thing. That's exactly what we should be doing. Oh, and one more thing.
Starting point is 00:40:18 And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know what the lawyers right and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode.

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