The Mel Robbins Podcast - How a Stay-at-Home Mom “With No Experience” Built a $255M Business: Blowouts, Divorces, and the Messy Truth

Episode Date: November 9, 2023

Want to know what it really takes to launch, build, and sell a $255 million-dollar business in ten years flat? Do you have a good idea, but you think you “have no business being in business”?In this new episode, Mel sits down with the founder of Drybar, Alli Webb, and takes you on a riveting tour of how a stay-at-home mom who had ‘no business being in business’ made $255 million in 10 years. You’ll hear the entire messy truth and all the hard-won advice, from the exciting start of her business to the disastrous ending of her second marriage.Alli is a NYT bestselling author, badass businesswoman, co-founder of the iconic brand Drybar, and two other successful companies. Learn about the immense sacrifices she made in her relationships, the shaky financial situations she navigated, and the specific decisions she made as a businesswoman that accelerated the growth of this iconic brand. In this conversation, you’ll learn:Why your childhood dream job is probably the key to success.How your big idea is right in front of your face.Starting a business starts with you: your idea, your skill set, your purpose, and your gut instinct.All amazing business ideas share this ONE thing.Her parents' business advice for her: find a good man.How to juggle kids while having a side hustle.Why starting a business with your spouse is a bad idea.Why she didn’t call off the wedding (and probably should have).Why she jumped into her second marriage too soon.The HARSH dating advice Mel delivers to Alli.Why she trusted her business instincts but not in her relationships.How being a hairdresser prepared her to be a CEO.Why she’s sharing the messy truth now.The text she sent Mel at her lowest point.The part of the interview that she “wanted to cut".Why she names the hairstyles at Drybar after drinks.Her take on imposter syndrome.How to face your fear of failure.How to say ‘f*** it’ and try something new.How to double your productivity and leverage your time.What passion is and why it’s so personal.What she learned from her mistakes.How a business owner is only as good as her team.What not to do when creating a blended family.How she lost herself in her last marriage.How she handles a “no” in business. And a big shoutout to Alli. It’s very easy to talk about your wins; Alli is giving you a huge gift by sharing her personal losses too. You can get Alli’s book ‘The Messy Truth: How I Sold My Business for Millions but Almost Lost Myself’ here: https://a.co/d/cuYHOGv Follow Alli Webb:Instagram: instagram.com/alliwebbWebpage: ALLI WEBB Watch the episodes on YouTube:  https://bit.ly/45OWCNr My book! The High 5 Habit  here:  https://a.co/d/g1DQ8Pt Follow me:Instagram: https://bit.ly/3QfG8bbThe Mel Robbins Podcast Instagram:  https://bit.ly/49bg4GPLinkedin:  https://bit.ly/46Mh0QBTikTok:  https://bit.ly/46Kpw2v Sign up for my newsletter:  https://bit.ly/46PVnPsWant more resources? Go to my podcast page at melrobbins.com/podcast.Disclaimer

Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. I'm really excited that you tuned in today because I know you are going to love this episode. How can I say that? Well, let me tell you how I can say it because you have been asking Mel, can we please get more advice on how you start a business? Give us more advice on how you lean into your ideas. And can you please bring us more stories about how a normal person with no prior experience

can create a hundred million dollar business? Well, today I am delivering exactly what you asked for. I have another remarkable person here for you to meet. Her name is Allie Webb. She founded a little business here in the US called Dry Bar. It's a blow dry bar where you go and you get a blow out in your hair. And she changed the beauty industry. And when she started this idea, she was a 32-year-old stay-at-home mom of two kids who had an itch to get out of the house.

She was not looking to disrupt the beauty industry. She was not looking to create a hundred million dollar brand. In her words, you know what she says? I had no business being in business. Well, let me tell you something. She's wrong and you're wrong. If you're telling yourself you have no business being in business, if you're telling yourself you don't have a good idea, you don't know what to do. I'm Colin B.S. and I'm introducing you to Allie

Webb, the founder of Dry Bar. That's not the only company that she has started. She's gone on to start multiple, very successful companies. She has written a brand new book, The Messy Truth, how I sold my business for millions, but almost lost myself, where she tells you the whole story of growing this $100 million business for scratch, the cost of it, the messy things behind, and most importantly, the very simple actionable takeaways that are going to inspire you and get you started on whatever it should is you need to scratch, whatever idea it is that you've been putting off today is the day we stop thinking we get messy and we tell you the truth about why

you yes you have a hundred million dollar idea in you too so please help me welcome alley web to the Mel Robbins podcast I mean it's just such an honor to be here. I can't believe it. Let me just start by saying one thing. I had no business being in business. Yeah. That's why I wanted to talk to you. Because that is a story and a lot of women tell themselves

that story. I have no business being in business. I didn't go to college. I didn't even graduate from high school. I'm a stay at home mom. I have no business being a business. I didn't go to college. I didn't even graduate from high school. I'm a stay at home mom. I'm this. I'm that. I'm the other thing.

And the truth is, so many of the most successful people that we all admire had no business, quote, going in business because they didn't get an MBA. And one of the reasons why I wanted to talk to you and have everybody hear your story is because so many people listening, 194 countries, so many people listening or watching on YouTube have a desire to start something.

And I want you to unpack the whole journey of how you went from a hairdresser that didn't go to college with three young kids who had two young kids that have no business, being in business, building a hundred million dollar company. Yeah, but then there's also the, the like behind the scene stuff

and like raising a family and going through divorce and your kid going through rehab And like the real messy stuff that happens because we don't we can't separate it all I mean it's it's it's bananas, but I grew up and you know God bless my parents my mom my mom passed away about eight years ago But it was like we hope you marry well, you know, it was that I grew up in that generation of like You know, we just where women weren't like, it was like a man's world. Why won't you put us at the scene? So where were you in life when your life took a turn

toward this small idea? What were you doing? How old were you? Yeah. Well, I moved to New York City when I was about 18. I went to college like first second and I was, I was so lost. I was so lost. And the thing that kept coming back to me was like, hair, it was right in front of me. I mean, I loved hair. I always loved here. I would spend hours in the bathroom when I was in high

school trying to figure it out. I was just, I was fascinated by it. And I was like, I think I want to go to beauty school. And my brother, my brother was the first person I told. I said, I think I want to go to beauty school. And he was like, I think you should. He's like, you're really good with people. And you love hair. And I was like, I know. I should just do that. And when I told my mom and dad, it was a very different conversation. They're like, really? You know, and it's like, I just knew that was the thing. That was the thing that I loved. And I think that we sometimes feel like it's not cool or it's not this or it's not that.

So we don't want to do it. So we want to take this path that everybody thinks we should take. It's great. It's great. Well, there's this whole body of research around if you lean into something, you already love, whether it's video games or it's music,

that you will be more successful because you will naturally want to spend more time working at it because you enjoy doing it. Yeah, so I should back up a little. I moved to New York City. I thought I wanted to do something in fashion. I ended up getting into hair and I met my now ex-husband, Cameron,

when we lived in New York. We got married. I was very, I'm very driven when I want something and I wanted babies. And I was like 27-footed kids. Really bad. I mean, I really wanted to have babies. There's nothing wrong with that.

I think that's a beautiful thing. Yeah, and I was like, this is what I wanted to do. I met Cam. I was jumping around from career career, career like you do and you're 20s. Yeah, waiting to find my husband and have babies. Truly, I was like, I've always been a big romantic and love love and wanted kids and all that.

So fantastic. We meet when I'm like 26, get married when I'm like 27, 28. It all went very fast and landed the plane. Yeah, so I landed the plane within a year, had our first and we moved from New York City to LA and I became a say-at-home mom. And I just started to kind of around the time where my kids were about two and four. I started to get the itch to do something for myself.

And I was probably around like, I don't know, 33-ish at the time. And because I had so much experience doing hair and blowouts and I was like, I don't wanna go back to the salon and cut hair and do all that. And I was like, maybe I should start, I just moved to LA and I was like, maybe I should start a mobile blowout business. I knew it was expensive to get a blowout in hair salons

and it was like variable pricing, which drove me crazy because it's like, oh, for you, it'll be $50 and for your friend with the long thick hair, it'll be 120, you're like, you can't do that. Why? It's such a bait and switch because it says on the window, it's like $45 for a haircut or blow out. And then you go in and it's actually like another 80 bucks.

You're like, and then you're sitting in the chair and you have to look like the idiot who's like, I don't want to, I can't pay another $40. I just hated that whole, the whole uncomfortableness. So there's a couple of things I want to, I want to just tease out to make sure that you got because Ali has already dropped major wisdom. I want you to notice that when she was talking about working in a salon, on. When you talked about it, something in you lit up. You spoke faster, you were impassioned, you were energized, and that's an important thing to highlight, because for so many of you that listen, that are looking for that idea or wanting to do something more. One of the

big things that you write about in this book is that it's typically right in front of you. That the things that you are energized by, that you would do all day long, that make you come alive as dumb as it may sound, or as much as your family might poo poo it like, what, you're going to go to beauty school? What? That's really an important piece of data when it comes to finding an idea or finding your calling. Yeah, I love that you pointed that out. When we started a dry bar, I was itching to do something. I was like excited to get out of the house and like do something for myself.

But when we like opened the door, I mean, even we are in the planning phase, like I loved it. But it couldn't work enough. But hold on a second, it did not start with a retail location. So I want to slow down real quick. Well, you're right, it started with the mobile business. See?

I'm right, don't tell me it did not start with a retail business. Like listen, listen. I have the facts woman about your life. And I want to slow this down because your story is so accessible. Mm. And you stop yourself over and over and over again.

You think I should go to beauty school and I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, so you don't do it. Then you think I love, but I love hair. And maybe I'll do some with hair. And they're like, no, no, no, no, that's not enough. It's not this. And so the ideas are all around you.

What I want you to pay attention to as you listen to Ali tell this story is how one decision at a time, instead of arguing against what she wanted, she simply was like, fuck it, I wanna try it. Yeah. And so you're sitting there, you're in your 30s, you have two young kids, you are thinking,

maybe I'll just start a mobile blow-drying business. Yeah, it literally was like one day Don'd on me. It was like, I think I should do this. Put me at the scene. Like, where did you get the blah-haw? Like, I'm gonna get my car and drive to people's houses and blow-dry their hair for cash. Well, it's exactly what happened.

I had just moved to LA a few years before and I met my best friend who's still my very best friend today when our sons were babies. We met in a breastfeeding support group. We were inseparable. We had these babies and we were staying home moms and we were having the best time. We both started to get the itch at the same time. She just had a knack for planning parties and things.

She wanted to get into the party planning business. She ended up becoming a really big wedding planner and now it does something else that's all their story. At the time, I was like, oh, that sounds fun. I'll help you with that. We started to do that. I did not really enjoy that. And I was like, no.

And we were fighting. And I was like, no, this isn't it. And I remember like we were sitting in my Santa Monica tiny apartment. And Paige and I were sitting on the floor of their babies crawling around us. And I was like, you know, I love you. And I love that we were starting this business together. But I don't think it's the thing for me. I think I want to start a mobile blowout business.

And by the way, she had curly hair too, and used to always ask me to blow out her hair. And so she's like, I think that's a great idea. I was like, right, what year is this? This is 2000, and I guess the boys were like three. And so I was like, I think we were like, what do you think people would pay if I came to their house?

I want to make this like, people are actually going to call me. So because I nobody knew me, I was brand new to LA. And so we were like, maybe 35 or 40 bucks and page was like, yeah, 220's, easy peasy. I was like, 220's, easy. You know, it's going to be a cash business. So I posted on like a Yahoo group, nice set, I'm a stay-at-home mom, I have two little boys.

I'm a long time hair stylist, I'm thinking you have starting a mobile blowup business we're all come to your house while you're baby sleeping and blow out your hair. And I'm gonna only charge 35 or 40 bucks, not a very sophisticated business friend. And sure enough, I started getting indedated with emails, like, can you come over tomorrow?

And can you come over? And I was like, goddamn, I'll be there. And so I didn't actually make any money because between gas and like, I didn't make any money. But who cares because it led to dry bar, right? But at the time, I was so happy still because then I got like a big duffle bag together and threw like all of my hair shit in a bag

and I was like, okay, I'll be over. What did you do with the kids? I think one of my sons was in preschool then. I got a total wash. Money was, but I don't care. And I was really just wanting the freedom to get out of the house for a little while and do something for myself and talk to adults and whatever.

And I love doing hair. And so it was like a win-win-win for me minus the money. So I start going to do women's hair. And another big insight that I didn't realize I was learning while I was learning it was that I would usually go to these women's homes and be in like their living room or kitchen rarely in someone's personal bathroom. You know, it's like they didn't know me. It wasn't like my, I was their friend.

But I was a mom, so there was like a level of trust. But I would usually do her hair like in the living room, so not in front of a mirror. And that's the thing about dry bar, which of course you know now, is like dry, there's not mirrors in front of the stations at dry bar, which was such a massive learning for me

from the mobile business, because I would go to a woman's house, she'd be sitting like at her like, you at her like this, like at her bar, at her kitchen, I'd blow dry her hair so she wasn't micromanaging me, which as a hairstylist was awesome. Because I was like, when I'm ready for you to see your hair, I'll tell you and you can get up and go look in a mirror.

And that would happen. And then there would be this really amazing moment where she'd be like, oh my god, I love it. And you'd hear the squeal, she'd be so happy, she felt so good, all this confidence, like, you know like erupted and I was like, man, this is so great because not only do I like it as a hair stylist that I can just do my thing and work it out and make sure it looks good.

And she doesn't have the pressure of staring, who wants to stare at themselves in a mirror for 45 minutes? It's like as women as humans really, it's like you start dissecting yourself, I got to like tired, I got to like my nose looks like, what's up with it? Why am I wearing it? All the time they're doing this with my hair right now. What's happening?

I mean, all the shit that we do, we just nitpick because we're steering out ourselves. You know what I was like? Okay, and when we started Concepting Drive, our so many learnings from my mobile business came out and that was a huge one. How long did you do the mobile business before you're like, there's something here.

For about a little less than a year, because I got so busy and I was like, I'm saying no, more than, I'm starting to say no more than I'm saying yes, because back to the kids, I could really only be out of the house for like four hours. So I could only do like maybe three or four blowouts in that time if it worked out, like because I was like in the palisades and Brentwood and Tana Monica. And so I was like running around and I couldn't do that many and I was in the palisades and Brentwood and Santa Monica. And so I was running around. And I couldn't do that many, and I was like, man, I'm just saying no more.

I'm like, that's not good. And then I was like, do I bring on more stylists, like mobily and send them out, but then they're gonna turn into their clients. And so I was like, that doesn't seem right, either, and I couldn't control the experience. And that's when I went to my brother. And I was like, I feel like I should turn my mobile business

into a brick and mortar. My brother's also bald and like a dude. And he was like, I feel like I should turn my mobile business into a brick and mortar. My brother is also bald and like a dude. And he was like, what? Why can't we even blow out their own hair? And I'm like, no, I mean, like, didn't you remember growing up with me and like the crazy whatever? But I got him on board with it.

And I said, I want to, I want to basically instead of me going to them, come to me, like I want to open one little shop. And he was like, okay okay he knew I was having success in my mobile business that I was getting really busy and I was like Mike I think if the price is right and the space is beautiful and really well-brown and I'd worked in hair salons like I knew enough to make it great I felt. So when I went to Michael and I said I want to do this and he was like hmm and it was so cool because it was such a level set of skills because Michael was always like really good student

just naturally really book smart and whatever and I wasn't. But now here I'm coming with this, like I know this business and you don't. So you need to learn this part for me and I need to learn that part for you. And so that was this beautiful merge of us coming together and I was like, I know I need help running this business,

but I also know I know how to run a salon because I'd worked at many salons as like the assistant to owners. So I saw all of it, like the good, the bad, the ugly, everything that happens in hair salons. What I think is really interesting about what you're sharing is that you are describing what we often forget when we are wanting to start something. We tell ourselves,

oh, well, I don't have this experience, or I'm not the business person, but the truth is, the fact that you were inside of salons and you worked for other people and you saw, as you said, the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything, it helped you make decisions about what you didn't want to do. And that's a really important part of learning and of the experience that you brought to the table. And so these are great nuggets that you're sharing. And I want to hear more about how you started, ran, and sold this insanely successful business without a college degree without any business experience and with little kids

at home. And later in the show, you know what I really want to get into? I want to get into the messy part. How this came at a cost and what happened in your personal life as your success grew. So stay with us. Welcome back. I'm Mel Robbins and I'm so thrilled that you're here with me and I know that when you listen to this show, you are taking time for yourself and you're taking time to learn. And today, you're learning from Allie Webb. She is the founder of the $100 million business success called Dry Bar. And we were just talking about how absolutely everything that happens when you start something is teaching you along

the way. And Ali, all of the failures and the things that have happened were preparing you to be at the helm of this amazing company that you created. Yeah, I really believe everything I did in my life uniquely prepared me to sit at the helm of a blow dry empire. Unequivocally. I mean, the- That is a hilarious sentence. Can I just say that a blow dry empire? It's what dry bar is.

A blow dry empire. That is incredible. Like, I- Cause I don't think anybody would wake up and go, I don't know what to do. I'm going to create a blow dry empire. I mean, either. But I'm just, you know, it was like working in PR, working at hair salons,

and I really did see, there was so much I loved about hair salons and there was a lot that I didn't. I didn't like the cutthroatness of it. I didn't like it was like the eat with you kill environment. It didn't like the like, I'm not gonna, I don't wanna wash your hair. There was a lot I didn't like about it, and I was like, I don't want that.

That's not what dry bar is gonna be about about. Like I want this happy, we all are in this together. Kumbaya, which was not what hair, you just don't see that in hair slons. And we had so many stylists. I mean, gosh, at the height of dry bar, I mean, probably even today, there's over 5,000 stylists that work for dry bar. And you know, there was always this sense of, I can't tell you how many stories I'd hear from stylists who would come in and be like, my boss is like doing drugs in the back, and nobody's nice to me, and I hate it there.

And but I mean, story after story after story, like there's just this weird, not all, and I wanna be like cognizant to not say not all hair salons are like that, and there's a lot of really great ones, but there is a lot of stories. I mean, not something I actually experienced myself, but just stories that I heard from stylists

about how they were treated and how, you know, it's a hard business. And you know, for us, we wanted to make it not like that. We wanted it to be like, you know, the way the drive our structure was set up was that we were paying people, like they were paid hourly and then they would get their tips.

So it wasn't like a, like a chair rental the way it typically is. And I, there was an intentional decision because I wanted people to feel like they were part of something that it wasn't like you're just coming in to see, you know, hair style as mel, you're coming in to dry bar to get a great blow out. And the big like reason this thing would work

is because you could sit in anybody's chair potentially and get a great blow out. It might not be the exact way that mel does it that you love, but you'll sit in Ali's chair and you'll be like, oh, this isn't like what I would have got, but I kind of like it. Because I always feel like, again, I take this hair style,

and he's obviously very serious. I like this. But I feel like, people don't always know what they want until you show them. Far be it for me to compare us to the iPhone, but we didn't know we needed iPhones. And then we got them and we're like, of course we needed iPhones. And it's got them and we're like, of course we needed iPhones.

And it's like, again, it's lofty. But I think that a woman comes in and she always gets her hair blown this way. And I'm like, just show her. You're the hairstylist. Just show her a little something a little different and then she'll be like, oh my God, I love it. And it happened all the time.

So I'm like, it's our job as the hairstylist, the innovator, the leader in this situation to show women, I've shown like, it should like, it will redo it, whatever. We're not cutting her hair off, it's not surgery. And so that was, I felt really strongly about all of that. And it really was like, again, you know, I was like, you're gonna make so much fun of me.

Like I used to say, we're changing the world, what we're changing the world, what a blow out of the time. And I really felt like that. I mean, there was a deep, to change you would see in women was unbelievable. Well, I think when you feel good about how you look, there is absolute irrefutable research about how it impacts your confidence. No question.

There, someone did an article. I think it was Marie Claire, you know, back on magazines were still popular. And I was actually a friend of mine who wrote the story, it was called The Psychology of a Blowout. And she sat in dry bar for eight hours. And she watched the behavior of how women walked in and how they walked out.

And I, I mean, Mel, it's astounding. You see the way a woman would walk in, like very serious, usually a hat on, like head down, business, like serious. And I kid you not, there were times when women would walk out, because I was in the shop 24-7. I was like, I didn't see that woman come in,

and they're like, yeah, you did. She came in an hour, and I was like, no, I didn't see her, because I didn't recognize her, because she looked so different. I mean, her hair looked different, her hat was off, but there was like this lightness, and this pep in her sep, and that's when I was also like, okay, we're not selling blowouts,

we're selling happiness and confidence. Like, we are so onto something. Like, this is not about hair anymore. You know, it was like, this was about the psyche of like the way women were feeling, and that's why it got so massive in my humble opinion. One thing that I just can't underscore enough is the example that you are giving to the person listening on passion.

And there's a couple things I want to point out here. And it's this first and foremost. Passion passion I have always defined is just energy. Anything that energizes you. And there is no doubt that blowouts and hair and happiness that that brings so much passion and energy into your life. You can feel it. It like vibrates off you as you talk. And here's the other thing I want to say about that.

Passion is so personal, because I don't give a shit about blowouts honestly. Like I literally, there is no way I could have built this business. I can't manufacture passion into it. Of course, of course. And so I say that. Yeah. Because I think we're always looking for some big idea.

Or for that person that's listening that's like, I have the itch. I know what you're talking about. I have this itch to do something bigger. But I don't know what bigger is. I want to keep pointing you back to the example that Ali is giving us. What do you talk about all the time? What would you do that if you could just do this and your bills were taken care of, you would do this all the time and don't tell me you'd lay on your ass on a beach and drink margaritas because that would be fun for about a week and then you'd be like, okay, I got to scratch the ish because this is not doing anything. But so you open this first location, your bald brother becomes your partner. But so you open this first location, your bald brother becomes your partner. It ultimately goes on and becomes this massive business.

And I would love to have you talk a little bit about some of the really hard moments before we get into the advice for someone listening around how to get started and what have you learned through this whole process? The learning is endless and it's daily, truly. It's like a laundry list of mistakes that I made. Michael and I ended up personally guaranteeing that loan which was kind of the least. It was also in 2010, so it was a middle of a recession and the landlord was like, why is this?

Like, what, is it a bar? of a recession. And the landlord was like, what is this? Like, blow it, like what? Is it a bar? Because it looks like a bar, you know? Right. I realized like I didn't want hair stylists to bring in their own shit when they came into our shop. I wanted to provide all the blow dryers. I'm gonna provide all the brushes.

Everything you need, you don't bring any of your stuff here in stylist were like, what? But I like this brush, and I was like, I hear you, but no, you're not. You know, some stylists were like, not, we're really in a way to about that. I was like, I get it, but no, you're not. Some stylists were like, no, we're really in a way to about that. And I was like, I get it, but no, I want this place to look a certain way.

I want every station to feel and look a certain way. I want you guys to know how to do the Cosmo, the My Tide, because all of our hair styles were named after drink, which by the way, was another thing that my brother was like, that's so cheesy, we shouldn't name the hair styles after drinks. I was like, yes, we should. Because women are gonna come in and they're like, I want a Cosmo, which is our messy curls. And the My. I was like, yes, we should. Because women are gonna come in and they're like, I wanna cause Mo, which is like our messy,

you know, our curls and the, the Mai Tai was like our messy beachy look. I was like, I guarantee you women are gonna love this. And they did. And women would always come in like, I think I want them to Mai Tai. I mean, without fail, it was huge. And it was Michael was like,

I don't think people are gonna want this. But, you know what I mean? It's like, everything was a decision. One of the big ones that I've talked about quite a bit is that if you've ever called dry bar to make an appointment, we don't have the phones inside the shops. We, in the first day, the first week, the phones were ringing off the hook, which was amazing.

I mean, great problem to have. The shop was crazy, busy. And we had the phone up at the front desk, but it's loud, the music's loud, which is part of the ambiance. There's, you know, there's flat screen TVs playing like devil-risk product. There's blow dryers going, and there's women talking. But it's fine, it's like a party, it's a club, basically, which, you know, is like a controlled cast,

but it was so fun, the energy was so good. But then the phone's ringing, and so a woman who's coming in to check in, or a woman who's leaving, and then there's a person on the phone, like, that's a trifecta that doesn't work. And I was like, I don't wanna be that business. I don't wanna be like, excuse me, like the finger up, like give me a second, like, oh, I hated that.

I was like, we're not doing that. But the phone's ringing, which is good because people are trying to make appointments and I was like, stop answering the phone. We'll let it go to voicemail and we'll call them back, which is a kind of crazy decision to make when you've just opened a business. We're like, oh, we're not gonna answer our phones.

But I was like, we can't answer our phones because what is most important here is the women who are in the shop, having the experience giving us their money, wanting to come back, and wanting to come back. So I was like, let a good voice melt. And when at the end of the night,

we will call everybody back, which was like a disaster and such a pain, but what was the alternative? So then we realized we had to pull the phones out of the shop. We basically started hiring people to pull the phones out of the shop. We basically started hiring people to answer the phones outside the shops, in the quietness of their living room. Now we're dealing with this company

that we have just, they're a phone business. We're in the call center business now, which was like, what are we doing here? But we had to have people answer the phones outside the shops. And then it, as we grew, and there's 150 locations, now it was like a real call center. So we had hundreds of people on the phone because mind you also, you can book on an app

and you can book like on your computer, but 50% of the clientele, which is over millions, like want to call on the phone, which is like to me. I want to call. I'm a call. I'm not. I'm a call. You're not my favorite kind of person in that regard.

That's okay. I'm going to not be your favorite person. I was like, please just just go online. I don't want to. It's okay. I'm going to not be your favorite person. I was like, please just go online. I don't want to. It's complicated. Because they're like, I want to talk and I want to find out, but it was annoying. And it was like a, damned if you do

and damned if you don't situation. Because you're like, hi, I want to call. And I had that girl last time and blah, blah, blah, blah. But the girl on the phone doesn't totally know that, which wasn't great, but it was like again, the alternative. And so anyways, I mean, it's just like thing after thing, after thing, that you just like thing after thing after thing. Like that, that you just deal with when you're running a business.

I mean, we had like the first month of dry bar. We were, we were underneath a restaurant and like, we're doing blowouts. It's super busy. It's poppin' and I started to see like this like black goop come through our very white beautiful tie. Lots black goop goop. Like soup for what it was. I didn't know what it was. And I was like, oh my God. Oh my God, is that what is that? I'm watching it, I'll send a mail.

I swear to God, it was like, it started dripping dripping. And then it breaks through to see, like, and it's like this, I don't know what it is. It wasn't like that. It was like some sort of sewage. Oh, some sort of sewage. That's how it's pretty discussed.

Not sewage, it was like something from like the restaurant. It was like, it was disgusting. It was like the waste trap. It was I, it was disgusting. Like the waste trap. It was, I know, it was gross. But here's the funniest part of that story. Is it like came down at like right in front of the first chair? So it didn't actually hit anybody, thank God.

And like everyone kind of like looked, the shop was completely book solid, packed people waiting. And the people like look over it at it and they're like, huh. And then move their chair over. Like can you, can you keep going? Like the woman who was getting her hair blown down. And I was like, nobody's skipped a beat.

And I was like freaking out, because the ceiling just caved in. And I had to go figure out how to get that fixed and whatever. But I was like, well, that's clean it up and keep going. I mean, it was just, it was so crazy. It's just like, there's so many stories like that. And that's really a lot of what's in the book is like,

there was so much awesomeness. And we felt like we were on this rocket ship and like this thing had taken off in front of our eyes and it was so busy and and it was like, you know, we were like the hot club that you couldn't get into. We were just figuring it out. I mean, we used to spend, this is embarrassing. We used to spend like probably like an hour a night after we closed the shop like physically counting the money

and it was always wrong and we were like, why can't we figure this out? I mean, it was just like, man, you know, it was just like, there was so many things. Probably because somebody was stealing from it. I know, if I'm sure. That's why the books were not reconciling. We eventually went off of cash because, yeah, that's a whole other. I mean, it was just like, you know, you name it, we had a problem or something, we had to figure out about it. How long ago did you sell in 2020? So about three years ago.

So I want to jump into some of the lessons. Yeah. Okay. And we've covered a lot of them that your best idea is going to come from something that you love as a childhood. Just start somewhere. He's another one that you talked about. We're all in postures.

We both get a lot of questions about in posture syndrome. What do you say to people when they say, but I feel like an imposter? Great. What do you mean great? Like good. It means you're doing something that you haven't done before.

Like, that's awesome. You know, I think it's funny. The whole like negative connotation on imposter syndrome, it's like, oh, because you're stepping into a role of something that you don't know and that you don't, you're potentially not good at and you've never done before.

Good for you. Like, I think you should be excited about that. I think it should be celebrated. Like, I've always kind of like, tiptoed into most jobs I've ever had, like, not really knowing and figuring it out. And there's something really exciting and fun to me about that. It's funny because I like that so much in business,

not so much in my personal life. I kind of want to know what's happening. But in business, I loved like not knowing what was coming next and all the excitement around figuring out so many things. I went on QVC and I was scary because you're on live TV. You can't say bad words and you can't say a lot of things. And I was so scared, but I loved the feeling of like, I'm going to figure this out and I'm

going to do it. I felt like I'm going to post your shirt. Like I'd never done it before. I'd never been on live TV before, but I was up for the challenge. So the title of the book is the messy truth though. So let's talk about the messy part. Because all this came at a very big cost. Yes, there's a lot of costs along the way.

All right, so let's talk about it. Well, you know, gosh, where to start? Your marriage. I'm actually serious. Let's start with your marriage. And this isn't funny. And I really don't want you to be embarrassed to talk about this, because so many people, Ali, can learn from the mistakes that you made, and I'm glad that you're willing to talk about them.

Because you know what I find really interesting about you, Ali? Is the fact that you're super power in business, it's trusting your gut. And you were so decisive with so many decisions when it came to dry bar from the colors to no phones ringing to the stylists can't bring their tools to naming the hairstyles after drinks. I mean, it seems like in every circumstance you just knew and you just did it. And yet time and time again in your personal life. When you knew something wasn't right, you just ignored it.

And that's what led to the mess. And the first mess that you write about is your first marriage. And we're going to get into those messy details when we return. So stay with us. Welcome back. It's your friend Mel and today you are learning from Allie Webb. She is the founder of the $100 million brand Dry Bar and she's released a book and the title is The Messy Truth. And we're going to get into the messy part because what's interesting about Allie's story

is that she really trusted her gut when it came to business and she was super decisive and she knew what she wanted and yet when it came to her personal life, most of the messes were the result of not trusting her gut. So Ali, let's start with your first marriage that ultimately ended in divorce. What happened? So I met Cam, like I said, when we were pretty young, we lived in New York City.

And as I mentioned, I was pretty driven to find the husband and make the babies, which I did. And Cam's an amazing man. And we had a beautiful friendship, really, which I now in retrospect realized was my parents' marriage, which is like crazy how you don't realize that until afterwards.

My parents got divorced when they were in their 50s and turned out they didn't have a great marriage and they were, but they were best friends. They also built a business together. I was like, you gotta be kidding me. This is like a carbon copy. Cam and I built a drive-bar together, along with my brother.

And, you know, for years, I was just. How was that on your marriage? Did you do business for this? You know, I think it was like the third kid. You know, it was like there was Grant, then there was Kit, and then there was Drybar. And it was this beautiful company that we built, and we was so exciting, and we were so enamored with this company, just like you are with the child, and Cam, you know, had his lane, and like the creative part, I had my lane, and like the hair, and the shops, and Michael was doing like the more of the business behind the scene stuff.

And we had this, like, we had fun, it was so fun. And so we just, it really had nothing to do with dry bar. Like I think actually dry bar probably kept us together because we didn't have, I didn't have like the passion. I needed to have an marriage, but I was like, I made this decision. I'm gonna stick with it. I decided to marry this man. I'm gonna stay in this marriage.

And I knew it wasn't right. I was like, I don't think this is, you know, and I also was like, I mean, this is very TMI, but I was like, maybe I just don't like sex. Like, we just didn't have that kind of relationship. And I knew it wasn't right. I knew it wasn't right. Deep down and I just couldn't bring myself

to do anything about it really until I did. But I found myself being like, you know, starting to inch towards the path of like having an emotional affair. And I was like, I don't wanna be that person. I don't wanna do that. And so, you know, the writing was on the wall. Like, Cam and I, it can't even like joke around.

Like, once the kids leave, you know, maybe we'll break up then. And I was like, I don't know what, if that's the plan, like, let's just do it now. How long was it like that for you guys? Because when my husband and I worked together in my business first started, it nearly was the death of our marriage.

Yeah. No question. Like we, all we talked about was either the kids of the business. There was no marriage. Yeah. And we are very, very good at doing things All we talked about was either the kids of the business. There was no marriage. We are very, very good at doing things and getting through it to do list. There was literally no marriage.

In terms of he and I having our own emotional connection. We tried it and it was disastrous. I am just curious like what was it like for you guys and how long was it, George, have just you guys were business partners and you both knew that that was the one thing other than your two children that was keeping this together. I mean, we knew the whole time, truly. I don't think it was the business. I can see, makes sense what you're saying,

but even, I mean, Cam tried to call the wedding off a month before the wedding. Really? What was that like? Well, I was like, absolutely not. We are getting married. This is, you know, the venue's booked. My parents did it.

I was like, I was like, and like, I can't. And now the person that I am was like, oh my God, of course, he was right. We shouldn't have gone married. I mean, my boys are just the greatest humans ever. And I can't, I mean, gosh, you can't imagine they're your children. And then we built this amazing business

and I really don't regret it. But we shouldn't have gone married. I think I was like, I don't wanna, I don't wanna go back to the drawing board. I wanna start dating again. I don't wanna be alone again. Like, let's just go. I was like, I don't want to, I don't want to like go back to the drawing brand. I'm gonna start dating again. I don't want to be alone again. Like, let's just go. You know, I was like, so crazy of me,

but I knew we shouldn't have gotten married either, but I really liked him. I loved him. We were best friends. You know, all my relationships with up to that point, after like six months or so, the kind of passion I thought wore off anyways. So I was like, wait, you guys were together.

You got married and after six months, you never had sex again? We didn't never have sex, but not often. Define not often. I mean, just once a year? Not once a year. We did. Well, guys, I'm just looking for a baseline for myself.

I mean, here's the thing though. And again, I didn't really have much to compare it to. And, you know, this is is obviously a pretty tender subject, but when I met my second husband, and I was like, whoa, we had sex like every day, multiple times a day, and I was like, oh, this is what it's supposed to be like. And I was like, this is not my marriage,

this is not my first marriage. And so I was like, holy shit. And I instinctively knew in somewhere, in my body, in my mind that like, I don't think this is the way it's supposed to be with my first marriage. And so I went looking. Again, I was like, on a mission.

I was like, I'm gonna go figure this out. Like, do I am I asexual? Or do I just am not with the right person? Like, what's the deal here? And so I ended my marriage, my first marriage. And I, three weeks later, I was dating, and I, with three weeks later, I was dating, and I was like, you know, experimenting. Three weeks, hold on, three weeks after you said,

I want a divorce, or three weeks after the divorce was like, final three weeks after I said I wanted a divorce. It was very fast and furious. But I was like, you know, in this like, nothing going on, marriage for a long time. Yes. I was a disaster. It was like, a long time. I was a disaster. It was like, I was that.

It's a disaster. But I was like, I wanna go see what's out there. And, you know what? I'm allowed to experiment. I, that's what I did. And I, and I very quickly realized like, I don't, I was like, I'm not gonna get married again. I'm just gonna like, date until it like,

wears off and then I'll do whatever. I mean, I don't know what I was thinking. But then I did, you know, I did date a lot. And I realize that I, I think I want to be in a partnership. I don't know what I was thinking. But then I did, I did date a lot, and I realized, I think I want to be in a partnership. I don't think I want to just be dating. And so, and then I met Adrian, and we found love very fast and furious. And it was like, we were together five months before COVID hit.

And then it was like, then the relationship got very fast tracked. And then that was caused a lot of problems, which would ultimately cause the demise of that marriage, which I haven't talked about publicly until this moment, which is like a little weird because I think that I have so much the first time you're talking publicly about divorcing your second husband. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Because I think there's a little bit of embarrassment if I'm being really honest, and it's funny, because I know at the start of this, we talked about, I don't really care that much about what people think. However, I paraded my second marriage around like a trophy. It was like, we had these Instagram lives where we were talking about marriage Mondays

and we would have this thing fight for love. And it was like I don't know, it's not that I don't believe that it was true and I do really think we were in love. There was just things that made it and that I won't talk about that that were made it just not possible. The marriage wasn't gonna work and I And I jumped into it again. I jumped into this marriage that had some things in it that weren't right for me and had things in it that weren't right for him. And for me, which I can obviously only talk about my side of it, is like I was like, oh my God, I just like this smell the time.

This must be love. And so that was like my guiding light. I didn't pay attention to all the other things that weren't right and didn't line up. And these other things that don't really work, they'll work themselves out. Now I realize like I got, you know, really side swipe by this like passion and love. And then we rushed into, you know, marriage and blending a family is not easy. I mean, it's rough.

It just, it comes with a lot of complications of navigating a lot, and trying to love somebody else's children, have them love yours, and how does it all fit together? And it's funny now, in retrospect, when I think back on it and I think about things, I wish I had done differently and things I had wish I had noticed. And him too, I think he would say that like we didn't, we should have paid more attention and closer attention to like what wasn't right for both of us, which we didn't.

What did you learn from this or what do you wish you had done differently that you feel comfortable talking about? I wish I had like, it's the word. I was gonna say like, that's stood up for myself. Like I wish I had more agency and knew it wasn't right. I got so swept away and I think I do this in relationships. Like I get very ammeshed. You know, you know, runaway bride the movie.

And you know how like that there's like kind of a famous humor, she's like, I don't know how I like my eggs. Like I like my eggs the way he likes his eggs. You know, it's like you become so ammeshed in the men that you're with. And then you lose yourself. And I'm like, I really do that. You know, and now I feel like, at least I know that. And there's like this awareness that next time, next relationship, like I'm like, I really do that. And now I feel like, at least I know that.

And there's this awareness that next time, next relationship, like I'm going to go in with, like, these are the things that are important to me. These are the non-negotiables for me. And if they aren't there, historically, I'd be like, it's OK. It'll be OK. We'll figure it out.

Because I'm back to business. I'm such a jump. And then go figure it out. Like, you know, you figure it out as you go. You don't have to have all the answers, which is very true of business. You don't. You know, and I'm not saying you have to have all the answers and a relationship, but you do have to have like the same.

Well, here's the thing I would point out, because first of all, I think it's pretty awesome that you're willing to talk very openly about something that is just unfolding and that you're willing to reflect on your part in this. And I think the interesting thing about this is that the difference between a business is that you can jump full force into a business and let it be your identity. When you do that in a relationship, it's really hard to find yourself again. And you're okayness with exactly who you are

and who you're not and what you've done and what you've haven't and what you've been extraordinary at and what you've really fucked up and being okay with all of it. I mean, you know, I've been on the floor the last few months, you know? And it's like, it was such a,

oh my God, like, oh my God. Was it worth it? Yes. Oh my gosh, yes. You know, they're so grieve and it's so hard. You're right, you're done with the divorce yet. Yeah. So, but I already can feel this like sense of like, I'm getting to the other side.

If you add one piece of advice, because a lot of people jump from a relationship or a marriage right into another one, having crash and burn, if you had one piece of advice that you learned the hard way to anyone jumping into a relationship, particularly where the new partner has kids, what's one piece of advice that you learned that you would do totally differently, or you caution somebody, don't ever do this. This is like advice I'm giving myself, is like, don't be so afraid to be alone that you're going to just end up in a relationship that isn't the right relationship for you, and don't rush into it.

I mean, I've rushed into every single thing ever in my life, you know, and I think, you know, I know this won't sound like much to you, but having been like single for almost five months now is a long time for me. I've not been single for that long. Since I was 26 years old, really. They single me in a loan or single me and just not dating. Like not dating. And I'm inching towards that because I'm gonna move slow.

Why do you need to be in a relationship? I think you are months out of and not even done with a divorce. You have goodillions of dollars. You have a propensity to jump into something because it's passionate. There is nothing more addictive than hot sex with a new person. Uh-huh. If I were your therapist, which I am not, if I could wave a magic wand, I'd be like,

Ali Webb, she'll never get married again. Well, that's probably true. I don't know if I'll ever get married again. And I'm like, why do you need a boyfriend right now? Get a vibrator and get your shit together. I mean, listen, like literally, you are a successful, bad ass, business woman. Who does that mean a fucking guy? I'm not saying I need a boyfriend right now.

Yes, you do. Yes, you do. This tells me if you are starting to inch toward and I'm getting heated because I, I, you should not be dating people. You cannot trust yourself and you do not need to be in a relationship. and now I'm talking to you like a girlfriend who literally keeps

doing the same shit over and over again. I hear you and I, you know, and I don't know. I mean, listen, I hear you. I don't know. Don't be calling me when you are like, I did it again. I trust me. I am not jumping back into a relationship.

I'm just... I don't believe you. I'm not, there's no relationship on the table. There's nothing to speak of right now. But you're having sex with people. No, I haven't had sex with anybody. Okay, swear to God. Okay, okay.

I'm even eating out on a date with anybody. Okay, but you said you were into it. I was talking to people. I was talking to people. Don't talk to people. I'm not ready. You're not on the market. No, no.

You gotta do a book tour. You have to get your shit in order. You have to take care of yourself. You in my opinion need a year of being. See, I know. I mean, listen, I hear that that's like everybody says that like you need a year. I don't know that I totally agree with that.

I'm saying I need time and I'm not gonna jump back into a relationship. I'm not gonna get married again I know a lot of red flags, but I also like I'm gonna just see what happens. I really love A partner. I really like I do want it like a partner you have your brother and your ex husband as business partners I know but okay I hear you and and it's so interesting because I know it's amazing to me how much you're pushing back on this because Just stop for a second. You were in a marriage

That almost got called off a month beforehand. That's true And you're admitting that you knew in your heart you were with the wrong person and yes, yes Yes, you have two amazing kids out of it. That is absolutely true But you knew in your heart that you shouldn't get married and you jumped into it anyway. And the fact is, I don't think you have enough time from this second divorce. See, here's what you're doing. Everybody does this, right? You are in so much pain that you just rush past the lesson and the whole thing and you

need to stop, you need to be still and you need to learn the lesson. I hear you. We'll see. I want the best for you. I know. I want the best for me too and I'm going to go with the pace that feels right for me. I don't think there's like a, it has to be a year, it has to be six months, it has to be five years, like I'm gonna see where it lands for me. I'm gonna be cautiously optimistic about whatever's next. Okay, I'm nervous on your behalf. Don't be.

I do wanna ask you, because we had only met online and a couple months ago, I got a text from you. And I just wanna read it to you. Oh, God. Because it was just a short, you probably don't even remember sending this to me because you were in a... We may have to cut this out. No, no, it's okay. It's not, it's a short text. I just wanted to ask you why, like, what it was about, it's very, very, very short text. I'm not going to read any of our longer texts. You texted me and said, and we had never met in person. Like out of the blue?

It's an out of the blue text. Pretty much. Like we had texted back and forth about business and all of a sudden in May, you texted me, dear Mel, my husband of one year just asked me for a divorce, and I'm beside myself with grief. I have a feeling you might have some wisdom here. And I thought it was a very brave thing to do, to reach out in a moment like that to somebody

that you hadn't met and that doesn't know the story or anything, and just ask for advice. And I just was curious about that moment for you. I had watched a lot of your stuff and I felt like, I don't know. I get these hits of intuition, I guess, where I'm like, I think I just have a feeling based on a lot of the things that I've seen that you post that you talk about. I feel like Mel would have some really, and you did. You had such fucking good advice. It was like a drawbridge reference that you and I stuck with me. And I just instinctively knew I had a feeling

you would just, you would respond because you were really kind online and you just seemed really kind in real life. If you didn't respond, like, okay, no problem. You know, and you were really gracious and responded to me and became really helpful. And by the way, that is a big piece of advice I give to people in the business

realm of like, the worst thing can say is no, or they don't respond. No one's going to die. And so that's kind of, I think, how I approach that of like, let me just see. I bet she's got some really great advice. And you did. Well, I think sometimes it's easier to talk to people who aren't involved. That's true. You know, because you don't feel the judgment and you don't feel like you have to manage how I'm going to feel about it. That's true.

Well, I like the fact that you showed up here that you were willing to talk about the messy stuff and it's also a cautionary tale about how it's easy to lose yourself. And I'm really, really proud of you for the work that you're doing, because you got it fucking nailed in business. Thank you. But I'm really happy that you are now starting to own the more important piece, which is your well-being and your happiness as a whole person. Yeah, that's the goal. Allie Web. You're amazing. Thank you. This was amazing.

Thank you. I really want to thank Allie Web for showing up for you on me today because she wasn't sure she was going to talk about what was going on in her second marriage. And here's the thing that I've noticed is that it is very easy to show up and talk about the wins in your life. I mean, everybody wants to go on a podcast and explain the story behind the big business or the big success. But what I really want to applaud is the fact that she was willing to talk about something that she is processing right now.

She's not on the other side of this thing. She was processing it in real time with you. And in fact, this podcast was the very first place that she talked about it publicly. Why? Well, because she trusts me and she trusts you. She knows that this is not a gacha podcast or some sort of celebrity sting podcast. celebrity sting podcast, she knows that the whole point is for us to use her experience as a way for us all to learn, right? I mean, that's why we're here. That's why you listen. You listen to take time for yourself.

You listen in order to learn things to improve your life. And so I got to give a huge shout out to Alie Webb for going there with us. And I also want to give you a huge shout out. I mean, whether you got the inspiration that you needed to trust your instincts and business, or maybe you got the reminder that when you know deep down that a relationship isn't working, it's not right for you. You got the reminder that you need that no matter how scary it is, you need to listen to it.

And you know that tough love that I gave to Ali? Uh-huh. Maybe you needed to hear it today, or maybe you got a friend who needs to hear that, and so share it with them. And I'm taking away this. Do not rush past the lessons. Do not rush past the pain. When you are in the middle of processing a mess in your life, it is not the time to hit

the accelerator. It is the time to hit the accelerator. It is the time to slow down. Slow down and be still. Because it's only in slowing down and turning toward it and being still, that you will learn what you need to learn. And if you don't learn what you need to learn and you race right past this, you're just going to keep on making the same messes over and over and over again. And finally, before I forget, I want to make sure to tell you, in case nobody else does, that I love you and I believe in you. And I believe in your ability to create a better life.

Now go do it. I'll see you in a few days. Hey, it's your friend Mel and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast. So at the very, okay, that's our shitty first draft. Here we go. Remember you got a, okay, in order to get started on some big idea that you may have or some itch that you're looking to scratch. All right, let me start all over. Here we go again.

Whatever that itch is, scratch it. Whatever that idea is, don't poo poo it, lean toward it. And don't poo, do you laugh at my poo poo? Hahaha. Lots of farts today. Scratching itching, pooping. Somebody get the preparation age. Well, it's someone's life story.

Okay, unknowingly. I had it really good. It was like, what did I say? All right, let me do one more to see if I can get it tighter. Okay, good enough. Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language.

You know what the lawyer's right and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.

Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode. Stitcher. Stitcher.