The Mel Robbins Podcast - How a Waitress at Denny’s Built a Billion Dollar Beauty Brand: This Incredible Story Will Unlock Your Purpose!

Episode Date: June 8, 2023

If you’ve ever dreamt of doing something big, today's episode will get your head spinning, open your heart, and inspire you to take the leap. It doesn’t matter how young or how old you are. You are meant to go big, to swing for the fence, and to do something no one has ever done before.  No more small plans. You have something big to do. And there’s no better person to inspire you to make big plans than my friend and IT Cosmetics Founder, Jamie Kern Lima.  Jamie went from serving up stacks of pancakes at Denny’s to creating a product that would help millions of women around the world feel confident in their own skin.  Today you’ll hear the story of how she transformed the beauty industry, created the most successful product launch in QVC history, and ultimately sold IT Cosmetics to L’Oreal for 1.2 billion dollars (becoming the first female CEO at L’Oreal in their history).  If you think Jamie had it easy on the way there, you’d be wrong. And you won’t have an easy time either, but so what?Her story is a rollercoaster of rejection and disappointment, fear, self-doubt, and near bankruptcy. But when you’ve got big plans, you just keep going. Jamie never lost faith, and today she is teaching you how to never give up on your big plans either.  In today’s episode, you will learn What to do when you have no idea what you’re doing.Why it’s okay to do something that’s been done plenty of times.What it’s like to pitch live on QVC.How to handle someone saying “Women won’t buy from someone who looks like you.”How to believe in yourself when nobody else does.A truth about success we rarely ever hear about.What to do when QVC says “NO you can’t sell that way.”How to react when some idiot tells you they won’t invest in you.How to break into an industry event and pitch your idea.How to harness belief in yourself when you want to give up.Wow. Just wow. If you don’t know what to get the graduates in your life, send this episode because it’s a real gift.  Xo Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 4:50: Introducing today’s guest- my good friend, Jamie Kern Lima.7:30: Jamie learned this important skill while working as a server at Denny’s.9:00: Never disregard the seasons of your life that feel setbacks.10:00: What the hell does it mean that our lives are happening “for” us?10:45: Here’s how Jamie defines life’s purpose. 13:15: If you hate your job, listen to this.16:50: The moment where Jamie knew she was meant to do something meaningful.20:15: Not sure what your purpose is? Think about what you struggle with.24:00: This is the biggest reason we talk ourselves out of following our dreams.27:30: But how do you get started when you don’t even know what to do?32:00: Ever had a gut feeling? Hear Jamie define intuition and how to tune in.35:30: Try going through your day this way and build your intuition muscle.37:20: Two reasons why we go through horrible, unspeakable times.38:30: This was the biggest rejection moment that inspired Jamie to keep going.41:15: Listen to the “no” or listen to the “knowing.” You get to choose.44:30: How do you determine the NEXT right step?46:45: Jamie lands a ten-minute do-or-die spot on QVC after multiple rejections.57:00: Here’s how all that rejection became Jamie’s strength.1:02:00: Does your purpose have to be part of your job? Disclaimer

Hey, it's your friend Mel and welcome to an unbelievable episode of the Mel Robbins podcast. Let's do this thing, all right? Hey, it's Mel. Here are so many times that I sit down and start talking to you and I just wish I could see you. I wish you were here with me so that I could see you as we're having this conversation. One of these days, maybe we need to do the podcast live so that I could see you, or maybe we could organize a walk where we could walk and talk, because that's always been my vision for the Mel Robbins podcast.

Now when you and I met on Monday and we talked last time, it was all about graduation. That was the theme. Do not give up on your dreams, failures, not an option. Absolutely love that conversation. And I wanna talk about it again, but not that exact thing, but about the future because it's in the air. This time of year, everybody is thinking about the future. And some of you are thinking about the immediate future

and you're super excited about it. You know what your plans are, you know what you're doing. That is so awesome. But there's so many of you that are looking out into the near future and you're freaking out. Like for example, I was just talking to my daughter this morning, we were on FaceTime and she had just gone for a run. I'm like, how you doing? She's like, I'm totally stressed out.

And I'm like, what's going on? She's like, I gotta pack up this thing. My roommates are signing leases. The lease is going to end. I'm thinking, you're only a sense in three months. Like, why are you freaking out about this today? Why? Because she's thinking about the future. And she's starting to get nervous about all the stuff that needs to happen. And she's starting to doubt how it's going to happen and freaking out about it. And here's another example of it. Everywhere I go with our son, Oakley,

who's a rising senior in high school now, I bet you can guess the question that adults ask him, where are you going to college? What are your plans? What are you going to study? And at that age, I would think 99% of us are like, I don't have a fucking clue what I'm going to study. I'm going to college to help me figure out And so every time somebody asks, hopefully that, there's something interesting that I notice. There's a small hesitation Before he tells them the school he wants to ED to and That hesitation is because it's a reach that hesitation is a small kernel of doubt.

Should I say this? Do I really believe that I can get in there? Do I have the right to apply to that school? And I think every one of us has an example of that in our life, right? Do I believe that it's going to work out in my making the right decision? And that's what I want to talk to you about today. How do you believe in yourself, especially in a moment like right now swirling with endings and with beginnings?

That's always how I feel in the summer, right? Summer is supposed to be this awesome time where we relax, we dial it down, if you're lucky and you can get to the beach, that's fantastic or a pool. But when I'm at the beach and I'm thinking I'm thinking about? My freaking future. And today, I want to throw how you believe in yourself in the middle of all these endings and beginnings. And how do you believe in yourself when you haven't even started taking the actions? How do you believe in yourself when you don't know how this thing is going to turn out that you really want to do? Well, my guest today, she's a super close friend of mine. And she is somebody you wanna hear from right now.

Who am I talking about? I'm talking about none other than Jamie Carden-Lima. She's the founder of IT Cosmetics, which she sold to L'Oreal for a billion dollars. Jamie is the queen of learning how to believe in yourself. Because when she started it cosmetics, she was not some influencer with daddy's money. No, no, no, no, no, no. She didn't get a degree in how to start a company. She was a waitress of Denys with terrible

skin rosacea, like the bright pink kind of breakouts all over her cheeks. And it was that rosacea and that hardworking work ethic from being a Denny's waitress that made her create her own foundation. And that was the beginning of this billion dollar company that she created in her living room, it cosmetics. And I know you're going to love hearing from her, which is why I am so excited that you're here, Jamie Kernlema, to talk to us about your journey. You are one of my favorite human beings of all time. I cannot thank you enough, Jamie, for being here as my friend and for being here as the professor on the topic of purpose and learning how to believe in yourself.

Ladies and gentlemen, let's give a big warm Mel Robbins podcast. Welcome to Jamie. Currently, ma. Mel, thank you. Thank you for having me. This is going to be fun and real and raw. But I just want to say Mel is something really important to me that I didn't want to leave here without saying, but everybody listening needs to know this. You are one of the rare human beings that is the same affair behind the scenes in your everyday life as you are in all the public things. You and I both met so many celebrities and so many people with millions and millions of followers and it's very rare. They're the same. And I just, one of the things I love so much about you

is you are even more funny, even more intelligent and brilliant and kind and raw and real, even more intelligent and brilliant and kind and raw and real, in real life. And I'm just grateful to be here for you. Wow. Okay. Just that. I think the episode's over now. Now, we gotta go back in time

because one of the reasons why I wanted to have you on is because the entire mission of this show is to empower and inspire you listening to us right now to create a better life. Whatever that means for you, to take the simple steps that sometimes feel impossible, to pursue your dreams, to improve your health, to create greater connections, to believe in yourself. And Jamie truly is not only the professor of purpose, but her life story is a demonstration

in cultivating belief, belief in your ideas, belief in your intuition, belief that things will turn out. And so I wanna go back in time and talk about how you started as a waitress in Denny's. And then from waitressing at Denny's, pursued a dream that you had of being on television. And as a fellow former waitress, I would love to start there. Yeah, waitress, the Denny's full full uniform name tag to prove it. Not they had uniforms, full uniform. What was your favorite thing on the menu?

Oh gosh, I love the pancakes. You know what? Just like simple. It's so funny how our steps are ordered, I think, in life. And so often, I remember being a wait your sedenis, I remember feeling, and maybe someone listening to us can relate to this right now. You have this feeling inside of you.

Like, there's something more I'm supposed to do, but you don't know what it is yet. And you doubt it might be possible. And I remember being waitress of Denny's and just feeling like I have these big dreams, but not quite knowing like, how do I believe I'm worthy of them yet? At the same time, Mel, the kitchen,

at the denies I worked out was a disaster. Like they would take an hour to get pancakes out. So I learned to talk to people so that they wouldn't leave. They often did leave. Or they'd throw like a dime and a penny on the table and leave. As your tip is if it's your fault. Exactly.

But it's so funny how, you know, years later when I ended up launching my own business, I'm like, oh, I've got to get the operations right, or nothing else matters. It's just those little things we learn along the way. But yeah, after that, I thought my whole life, I would have a talk, so I watched Oprah and my living room growing up, so I thought for sure I would share other people's stories with the world. So I went into, did all the jobs, saved up all my money to pay through, pay for school and push grocery carts and the grocery parking lots, sliced meat and the deli,

all those jobs, and then found myself in my, and what I thought was my dream job, working in TV news, and I thought, this is it, right? And what I didn't realize was I was about to enter this huge season of setback in my life, of self-doubt. I have a skin condition called rosacea. And for me, it started getting really red, really bumpy.

And I would be anchoring the news live, thinking like, you know, okay, this is it, this is it. And I started hearing in my earpiece from my producer, there's something on your face, there's something on your face. Oh my God. You need to wipe it off. You need to, and I was live on television, right? And I would glance down during the commercial break and I saw, oh, the makeup is breaking up on my face

and these big red bumps are coming through. But so often in life, the seasons that feel like setbacks are actually set up for what we're called to do. Okay, stop right there. Did you hear that? The seasons of your life that are setbacks are often set ups for what you're called to do. I want to just make sure everybody heard that

and I want to take a highlighter and also highlight something that you said about being a waitress at Denny's. And it's this. You said our steps are ordered. So can you explain what that means particularly to somebody who's listening, who may feel like, I know I'm meant for something greater. Why the hell am I at this step?

And this does not feel like it is on the path of where I'm supposed to go. So what do you mean by the fact that our steps are ordered? Yeah, I believe everything in life is happening for us, even when it doesn't make sense. Can we just, what do you mean happening for us? So there's somebody that's like really in it, J.S. Yes, yes.

What does that mean? Let me frame it around our topic of purpose, right? So often people feel empty because they feel like, oh, my purpose needs to be some job. It needs to be my job or it needs to be this this grand thing I haven't figured out yet. But for those of us that have accomplished a goal we always dreamed of, we get to it and we're like, oh, this isn't it, right? It's never, in my opinion, purpose is never this,

this big goal necessarily. Purpose is so often when we're able to serve the person we once were, or serve in a way for something we've gone through. And here's what I mean. I think our purpose can be like, oh wow, I went through a really freaking hard season in my life and I now am actually realizing

I'm born to be a generational cycle breaker in my family. That is an incredible purpose, right? When I actually just take a minute and say, hi to someone else who's lonely, maybe it's in the coffee line at Starbucks, maybe it's the neighbor down the street, whatever it is, you feel and you're got a sense of fulfillment, a sense of alignment when you're doing something

in your purpose. And I think that the big mistake people make is they think it's this end goal, right? A lot of times when people Hear my story Denny's waitress builds billion dollar company. They think my purpose was to be some big entrepreneur It wasn't it wasn't what was it in the journey of how I did it. Yeah, I took this massive risk Right taking my makeup off on national television when I was told not to, and being brave enough to be seen,

and helping other women realize that they're worthy and enough exactly as they are, seeing them as who they are. To me, that is my purpose, and in doing that, it just a byproduct of that with the cosmetics, is we built a company with millions and millions and millions and millions of customers. And what's wild is five percent of our customers actually have skin issues like I do. 95 percent don't. It's just that they felt seen and connected with something that spoke to their soul, right? For me, being willing to say, here I am exactly as I am, no makeup,

and all my skin issues, I think people connected with that, that feeling of, oh, I'm enough exactly as I am. You know what else I think is a really important part of your story? It is weightressing. It's pushing carts in a supermarket. It's working in the back house of a restaurant.

That's my story too, helping my best friend on her paper route, busing tables. And I think when you work in retail or you work in a service job, and you feel at times invisible, you start to realize how important it is to treat everybody with respect and kindness, that there is no work that is beneath you. And when you can bring that level of service to the job that you have right now, even if you hate it, even if people treat you like garbage, even if the the back of the house is not getting those pancakes out on time and people are angry.

If you can bring a sense of grace and service and just humility, I think it changes how you show up because you don't ever forget what it's like to be treated like shit. Yes. Because somebody was mad that their pancakes were an out on time. Yes. Yes. And also you and I have had this experience where we've truly gotten to see and be almost every type of person and of the type of environment. And so now it's like whether it's me building a business or you building one of the top shows in the world, one of the top shows in the world. I feel part of that was like, oh, we understand who's listening and watching

you now. I understand who real people are, who bought my products. And so when you mentioned steps or ordered, it's like, you know, no matter where you are in your life right now, what you're going through, I believe every piece of it, whether it's, oh, someone just, you know, cut me off in a parking lot and screamed at me or, oh, whatever it might be, you're going through all of those things are happening for you, I believe, so that you're amassing this toolbox of understanding and getting strong enough and equipped enough for the purpose you step into. Amazing. So, Professor Purpose, Jamie Karnleema right there, that's your takeaway number one. The steps are ordered. We'll leave in that.

And this moment is helping you. It's giving you something. So, that is one major tool that you used along the way. Let's go back to that moment, because I think you were 28 years old, right? When you're sitting on television in Seattle, you are a local newsaker. You're living the dream. You're on your way. And you are now starting news anchor, you're living the dream, you're on your way, and you are now starting to have this nightmare happen,

where your rosacea is breaking through on camera in front of everybody, the makeup that they put on you. And you've got people in your ear telling you, there's something wrong with your face, and you're realizing, holy cow, the makeup that they've put on my face cannot cover the rosacea and the skin issues that I have. So what do you do in that moment?

Well, the first thing I did was start freaking out, right? Thinking thoughts into my head like, oh, am I going to get fired? Our viewers changing the channel right now. Like in my costing the company ratings, right? So it was this, could you feel those moments when you could feel like the makeup kind of like disappearing? Like there were moments when I used to be a commentator

for CNN, I was pre-menopausal, where I could feel the hot flash coming. Yeah, I didn't feel it until they set it in my ear, and in my ear piece, and then what would start to happen was I would get so nervous and stressed out because I kept trying to cover it during commercial breaks. I could feel my heartbeat in my ears. So what I remember is like, anchoring in the knees live. And sometimes you'd be happy to tell this happy story or you're serious telling.

And I just remember my heart beating in my ears, hoping people weren't turning the change in the channel. And it started this thing where I, you know, would spend what, you know, it's funny. I was, um, anchoring the news and people think when you're doing that, you must have all this money. But you really don't get paid much at all. And I took my little paycheck that I had and started spending it on, um, department store makeup, a professional artistry makeup drugstore. I mean, I couldn't find anything that worked.

And I had this idea one day like, oh, if I can't find anything that works for me, there's probably a whole lot of other people out there that feel like makeup doesn't work for them. And it was sort of this idea where I was like, if I could figure out how to make something that worked for me, it helped a whole lot of people. And that was my knowing or this gut feeling. But then my head mel was like, Oh, but you got no money, you got no connections, you know, no one in the beauty industry, you're unqualified. So I sat in this place, right? And I just want to we're talking about purpose. I had this gut feeling like I was supposed to go for this thing. But then my head was like, oh,

but here's all the reasons why you're not qualified to do it. Plus you're in your dream job, right? And I sat between those two. And it wasn't until I had this big, big, aha moment of why I needed to do it that pushed me over the edge. Okay, so what is the aha moment? Yeah, so I realized one day, and like this makes no sense.

There are thousands of makeup companies out there. How does nothing work for me, right? Then I had this moment where I realized I've never seen a model with bright red bumpy skin selling makeup. But like you always see these Photoshopped airbrushed models. And I realized now like wow, my whole life, I've actually loved those beauty commercials

and I love seeing the magazines. And I always aspired, wow, my whole life, I've actually loved those beauty commercials, and they love seeing the magazines, and I always aspired to look like them, but deep down inside, they always made me feel like I wasn't enough. And I had this moment, I was literally on the news set when this happened, where I was like, wait a minute. What if it's not just about launching a makeup product? Like, what if I can actually figure out how to do it,

which I had no idea how, and I had no money, because like, what if I could actually launch a pack that works for me, and what if I actually put real people as models, like every age, shape, size, skin tone, skin challenge, what if I use them as models, call them beautiful, and mean it for every little kid out there who's about to start doubting themselves and every grown woman who still does and that deep source of pain from how I was feeling not enough and what could I do about it that in my opinion is one of the strongest ways to find your purpose it's what has just You are hurt you that you've maybe made it through? Yeah. And how can you now use that making it through to help someone who's going through it? Okay.

That's like a mic drop moment from our professor of purpose, Jamie, Karnleema. So I wanna make sure nobody's left behind. Yes. And there was billions of dollars worth of wisdom that you just dropped. But I gotta hear a word from our sponsors, so just hit the pause button,

and we're going to continue this conversation when we come back. Welcome back. I'm Mel Robbins. I'm here with the founder of It Cosmetics, the billion dollar brand that Jamie built from scratch on her own and then sold the L'Oreal. She is giving us a master class today on purpose. And so I want to try to unpack it for anybody that is listening to this.

And you have this sense that you're made for more. So one of the things that I heard is look in your life and see what problems or frustrations or things that you're struggling with that feel like a setback. And Jamie gave you the example of the rosacea on her skin and her inability to find something that actually could help her solve this issue of being able to cover it up so that she could do her dream job. And that setback is a setup for something new. And then get out of your own sort of selfish or self-loathing or the self-excuses and

the self-pity and remind yourself that there are 8 billion people on this planet now. There are other people that are dealing with this. And that if you can figure out how to put your energy into making this better for yourself and you bring other people into the fold with you, you now have something that's worth working on because it helps you and it's going to help other people. And I also want wanna point something out that Jamie will not tell you, but I share his how well, and that is that this was about 14 or 15 years ago.

So we're talking 2007, 2008, correct? In my opinion, Jamie Kern Lima is the reason why we have this real beauty movement. There always has to be the first person and she was it. So when you look around the internet and social media and you see people doing naked faces, that was not something people did in 2007. It was all airbrush. It was all perfection. That was the beauty standard. And so you've got a woman who is sitting in Seattle

who has no experience and no money deciding that she is going to not only figure out how to create a makeup line for people who have issues with their skin, but that she's going to do something nobody has ever done, which has put real normal people like you and me into her campaigns when she finally gets his figured out. And she's going to show people what her skin actually looks like in order to sell it.

I mean, that was a revolutionary idea. She was the first, and I'm telling you this, because you could be the first. You have something that you can solve, and you could be the first to change the way that people think about an issue. And so, Jamie, let's pick up the story because how do you go from this aha moment like, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, to doing something. Yeah. Because I think some of us have aha moments, right? Yep.

And then we doubt him. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no to help, but you think, oh, someone's already done it. Literally, there's only one of you in the entire universe, which by definition means no one has ever done it the way you're gonna do it. So when I launch to say that again, Jamie, for the people that are like, whoa, whoa, whoa, kids, calm down.

I'm awake, Jamie just stuff, sometimes doing my dishes, say that again, talk about the fact that this matters. This is huge because I think the biggest reason we talk ourselves out of things is we think, oh, someone's already done it. Someone's already done it before, you know, who must be smarter than me or more talented or more whatever it is than me. And what I have learned and then proven, and I want to tell you too about all, I'm going

to get so excited. Now because, no, when you do this thing, like don't be shocked. Then when there's millions and millions of rejections and people don't get it, right? Because it's never been done before, right? Oh, yes. Because there's only one of you. There's only one of you doing it the way you're going to do it. But just to recap that, there is literally only one of you in the entire universe, right? And so if you are going to show up to this world authentic, that means whatever you do, if it's authentic to you, it's actually by definition, it's never been done before, right?

And so when you show up that way, don't be surprised if not everyone gets it right away, or in my case, all the experts I put on pedestals, all said no, that this idea of how I wanted to connect with women, they thought it wouldn't work and they thought I wouldn't, therefore, make them any money. So, but can I use your question real quick?

How did you go from the aha? Yes. To starting. So what did that look like? Because I think like if you're in the space where, you know, let's just use an example. You have this thing about catering, that you just can't get it out of your head.

You wanna do these events, you wanna, you've never actually done this, because you had never done anything with makeup. You had no idea what you were doing. Yep, you have an idea, and you have an aha moment. What was the first thing that you did to start to make this real? So leaning on that why I had to do it and why felt like it was going to be part of my purpose was a big thing that helped me actually take the risk quit my job.

Wait, you quit your job because you had an aha moment? Yeah, it was deep. I was like, if I had a lot of it, it felt like, it felt like if I didn't do it, I would wake up the rest of my life with this pain in my gut, this longing knowing I was created for more. It felt like if I didn't do it, I would have the pain of regret.

And if I did do it, I might have the pain of failure. And maybe the pain of embarrassment and the maybe the pain of, oh, wow, that wasn't, that doesn't feel like it went how I thought it was. You know, I knew it was this big risk. I knew I was leaving what I thought was my dream job. Why did you have to quit your job? Just curious. It was literally from day one, I was all in. Like it was, I dove all in. I knew if I was gonna do this, I needed to just go all in on it. I do not recommend this, but I started working

like 100 hour weeks from the beginning. I was so freaking passionate about it. Like I couldn't stop thinking about what if I can actually figure this out, what if I can literally, because it became a big dream. So did you have any savings? Like do you have a little bit of savings? But very little savings. You didn't pay yourself for the first three years that you did this.

First three years. So basically, my husband and I wrote this business plan, right? Yeah. Quit our jobs, dovolene in our living room. We poured all of our savings into it. I thought if I can figure the product out, it's going to be huge. Right. And then I realize like, oh, being an entrepreneur or launching a dream is not always that easy. We poured every penny we had into it. And once we actually created a product, and we were scrappy, if you wanna know,

if you create a product, like even your kitchen buying stuff at the grocery store or how does this even work? Right, so researching how our makeup formulations made, who makes them, What are the FDA regulatory compliance? All the insectsy stuff? I know nothing about just diving into the research phase of how does this happen. And then what I learned is that manufacturers are makeup companies closest held secrets,

right? Like closest held secrets, they won't disclose who they work with. But a lot of these big manufacturers work with all the top brands that you see are a handful of them. Gotcha. So are you saying that all of the brands and top brands that you see are basically manufactured by a handful of companies? Yes, handful of companies. And then some do it in-house as well. Gotcha. So what I did was scrappy. I walked into a Sephora. I wrote down the name of every single brand in there, went home. You know, I had no money, right? Cold call every single brand and saying, like, oh, I'm looking for a really great manufacturer. Could you let me know who you

man you've been and then they hang up on me? You know what I mean? One after another, after another, after another. And I got this really small brand in a totally different kind of positioning where the girl who answered said, oh, here's who we use there in New York City blah blah blah. So that was my first manufacturer. I reached out to them, had a meeting in person, had no money, poured this idea out to them. They took a risk making me samples. And that's how it started was just really being scrappy and trying to figure it out. All of our money had went into the product development formula and the advisory board of

the product. And I thought, okay, now we have a product that works for me, right? This was after hundreds of formula iterations. I thought that was going to be it. So is this like year one or year two, like how long did this take? Yeah, it took a good first year to get that product. And then what I started doing was sending it to everyone I thought was just gonna believe in me instantly.

So I sent it to Sephora and an altibuty and all the department stores and all of the online retailers QVC, which is live television shopping channel. And I thought, oh my gosh, this is gonna be huge. Every single one of them said no, after no, after no, after no. And after no and to your point it became three years of not being able to pay myself three years of hundreds and hundreds and

hundreds of nose of crying myself to sleep at night. Were you in a husband like fighting like crazy like you should go back to work you should but why do we do that? Were you like you? You want to know what it was? We still believed in it but we we weren't sure how we were gonna make it. It was like friends and family that were like, uh, wait, you quit your job. Are you sure you should have quit your job? Or wait, you still haven't made any money? Like it's been three years, right? So you hear all of this, the voices get so loud.

The loudest though were my own self-doubt. You know, sometimes we take a chance and go for something because our gut is telling us to do it. And then all of a sudden you face all this opposition and you start to question, is my gut wrong? Is my knowing wrong? And there were so many times where I would literally get this another brutal no from you know Sephora or QVC or whoever it was. And I would just literally cry myself to sleep. I would pray about it and be like, God, I feel like I'm supposed to be doing this, but nothing is going right.

So let's just pause in that moment. Hold that thought. We got to take a short break for our sponsors. And when we come back, we're going to pick this amazing conversation up with my friend, Jamie Kernleema. Welcome back. I'm Mel Robbins. I'm here with the founder of It Cosmetics, the billion dollar brand that Jamie built from scratch on her own and then sold the L'Oreal. She is giving us a master class today on purpose, believing in yourself. So Jamie, your story is incredible, woman. You have left your dream job.

You have gotten no after no after no after no after, after know. How do you stay connected to your intuition in a situation like that? What tool do you have or what advice can you give to somebody who's having trouble hearing what the right decision is in that kind of situation? Yeah. So I think that intuition is like a muscle that we build over time. And I think it's a life on journey that, you know,

to really learning how to hear it and to trust it. And one of the greatest tools I think is to go back, think back to times in your life where maybe you had this feeling to do something and everyone around you said, don't do it. So you listen to them, you didn't trust yourself and then think about what happened, right? And then similarly, go back to a time where everyone was like, oh, no way, no way.

And you're like, but I love him. I don't think he's lying. I think his phone really did break five times every weekend. He didn't disappear his phone. Like, right, think about that situation when everyone was telling you something and you didn't listen. Or even your gut was telling you, right? And you didn't listen. And you think back to those times and you start to develop pattern recognition of how it felt in moments in your life when you trusted yourself or didn't and what happened and you get better

attuned to what that feels like. So what does it feel like for you? In these situations, can you describe what it feels like for you when you're like, yep, no, that's a no. Yeah, and what does it feel like for you when you're like, I'm sticking with this. Yeah, often it's the tiniest of feelings in my gut, right? So, we'll describe it as like a still small voice. I pray about it. I ask God to give me the answers and I try to live the answers. Do you feel the answers that God gives you? Like, is that what happens for you when you do this? Like, right now when I look at you, right? Like, I know you're a beautiful soul, right? I just know it. You know it. You feel it. Like, I feel like you have good, like you're good. You know what I mean? It's a feeling, right? I just know it. You know it. You feel it. Like I feel like you have good, like you're good.

You know what I mean? It's a feeling, right? And we get these feelings, but so much around us is so loud, you know? And we just learn over time. And by the way, not to go, this could be a whole other episode, but especially as women from the time we're young, we learn not to trust ourselves. We walk into our parents' fighting and we go, is everything okay? Everything's great. Everything's great. To protect us, we start to learn to doubt ourselves. Right. But you know, especially as young girls, you learn to make decisions by consensus. Often, with your friends and making other people happy. And making other people happy.

People pleasing, we're rewarded for pleasing everyone else and almost ignoring what we feel. So if you're someone who's an adult right now going, I don't even know how to hear my own gut or trust myself, that's why we've been trained out of learning how to do it, right? So it takes intentionality and really deciding, oh, you know what, I'm gonna put in some time, even if it's five minutes a day, just thinking about moments in my life where I trusted myself where I didn't. And if you don't remember any of them, start

now. You know what you just inspired me to think about? I don't even know if it's possible to do this. But imagine if you could go through the rest of today and only make decisions that align with what you truly want. If you don't want to go to that party tonight, don't go. If a friend asks you something and you feel obligated out of guilt to lend them that thing, don't actually lend them the thing. What you want to eat tonight for dinner, don't just go to wherever your friends want to go. I think that would be a real eye-opening experiment if you were to do that.

And you start building that muscle, right? So if you don't even pay attention to what they actually want to eat for dinner, they're just like, what sounds good to everyone? But to your point, when you start paying attention, then you also start building that knowing of hearing your own knowing. Do you think it's possible to discover your unique purpose in life if you are not connected and listening to your intention? Intuition, I mean. It's way more likely and you're going to actually discover more than one purpose often. If you're really tuned in to your intuition and you're intentional about it. But what I'll say for someone who feels like they can't hear their gut, but they still want to

find their purpose. A friend of mine says that your best position to serve the person you once were, right? Trent Shelton, our friend says, one day the things you're going through right now will be the things you made it through. And what I would say to someone listening right now is look at something in the past that has broken your heart, that has caused you grief, that has been something that you care deeply about, whether it's positive or negative, that you've gone through, something you care deeply about,

or maybe pain you've gone through, something you have made it through. I believe often when we go through the hardest times in our life, it's for one of two reasons. What are they? It is to either equip us with the strength we need to carry the weight of our success that's to come,

to carry the weight of our purpose that's to come, or we've gone through these horrible and speakable times things we would never want to happen to us again in our life, because we're actually gonna get our greatest source of fulfillment and purpose by one day helping someone else who's going through them. I love that saying that you're best equipped to help the person you used to be. Yes. Yes.

So let's go to that moment, Jamie. You're three years in. Yeah. You've burned through the money. Yes. You have been told no by everybody. You've burned through the money. Yes. You've been told no by everybody.

And even though you have leveraged all of the steps that were ordered along the way and like an amazing Denny's waitress, you can talk to anybody. You can hustle. You can figure it out. You have nothing but closed doors in front of you. Yes. At a ton of product and no money.

Yes. What is the turning point? Yes. Why did you not give up? Yeah. So two big things happened. The first was in the form of a crazy painful rejection. So I thought, no, so we got a cough from a big potential investor. And very famous for launching all these sort of unknown brands and making them big products. We all buy and grocery stores and, you know, and I thought, and they got in a hold of our product. And I thought like, oh, if they invest in, and I'm not gonna go bankrupt, be like they,

we can leverage their clout to get in these stores that keep telling me no. Like I had this whole scenario planned out that was like this pretty woman moment, right? Where I was like, oh, he's gonna save the day. And so we started taking meeting after meeting and it got down to the final meeting with this huge investment firm.

It was in person. It has been actually flew to the meeting and the head guy was about three feet from me. And his whole team was there who was awesome. I just presented our whole future product pipeline and he says, you know, you should be so proud of this product you've created. It's really, really good.

But it's a no. We're going to pass on investing in cosmetics. And I was like, okay, can you tell me why? Because I'm so used to hearing no. And I was like, okay, even though really I was devastated. Well, yeah, because this was supposed to be the meeting. We're like, let's do this. And I was so hopeful.

And I was so desperate. Yeah. And he got very quiet. And he says to me, do you want to know, you know, do you, or what I said, I said, can you tell me why? And he says to me, do you want me to be really honest with you?

And I said, yes, please. And he got really quiet. And he's like three feet from me in person. And he says, I just don't think women will buy a makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight. And when he said that to me, and this is why it was such a big moment for me, when he said that to me, first of all, a lifetime of body doubt and self doubt. Like I remember flooding my body all at once. When I looked at him, I actually felt no anger toward him. I felt like I was almost like staring my own fear

Straight in the eye, but when he said those words to me, Mel, and this is what this is when we talk about purpose and I felt no anger toward him. I felt like I was almost like staring my own fear, straight in the eye, but when he said those words to me, Mel, and this is what, this is when we talk about purpose and intuition. He said, I just don't think, when will I make it for some looks like you with your body and your weight. The second he said that, I felt this feeling in my gut. Like I can remember it like it was yesterday.

This like strong feeling that said, he's wrong. Like I felt it, right? And I didn't know how I was gonna prove it, but I felt that feeling. And when I realized later, when I look back at that moment, this guy, this dude, gave me a no, but God gave me a no-ing in that moment, in that moment. And I believe every one of us has had someone tell us

we're not the right fit or no, or you don't have what it takes. Sometimes we're the ones telling ourselves that I love you anymore. Yes, right? But if you get still and you learn to hear your knowing, I believe which one you listen to. If you listen to the no, all the no's, all the rejections, all the self-doubt, or you get still and listen to you, you're knowing whether that's from your own intuition, from your creator, from the universe, whatever speaks to you, but we all have it. We all have it. And I believe our life and our purpose and our entire destiny comes down to which when we listen to you.

Do you listen to the know or do you listen to the know? Or do you listen to the knowing? Okay, I promised a masterclass. That right there is worth a billion dollars. In life, are you going to listen to the know? Or are you going to listen to the knowing inside of you? That's it. Yeah. As somebody who loves you and as your friend, when you shared that story with me and hearing you tell it again right now, I literally go, I'ma kill that motherfucker.

I go, I have that mind-knowing go-to. Oh yeah? Oh yeah? You think, okay, okay. Yeah. Mom, let me show you. Like it's that, I get that sort of mojo thing going when somebody says no like that at a moment like that.

It's like, I'll show you and I guess I just got in this moment, sort of this wake up call that mind-knowing often feels like I'll show you. Yeah. You missed out. You'll be sorry.

What is your sound like? And it's almost always true. That's almost always true, right? What is your sound like? I mean, in that case, I was devastated and at the same time had the strong, it was just a piece. Honestly, in that moment, it was a piece he's wrong and that didn't make sense to my head. Why?

Because I had had three years of hundreds of rejections. And this is the thing, right? Jay-Z says, the genius thing we did was we didn't give up. That's it, like one of my favorite quotes of his, in that moment, everything told me to give up now. I mean, it was hundreds of rejections. And now it felt what felt like my last hope of desperation told me to give up Mal. I mean, it was hundreds of rejections. And now it felt what felt like my last hope of desperation told me something totally different.

No, because not only do I not believe in anything you're doing necessarily, but I actually just think you're personally not the right fit. Women just won't buy a make it from. It was just like, oh my gosh, all of these knows everywhere. And I want to share that because, you know, it's easy for someone to go,

oh wow, she built a billion dollar company. She must have just got lucky. Or maybe she just had so many connections with really what it comes down to sometimes. In this case, that big moment for me, do you listen to the nose, or do you listen to the knowing, right? And I made that decision that day to trust the knowing, to trust myself.

I kept feeling like I was supposed to keep going. I didn't know how, right? And what do you do when you don't even know the next step? So you got this kind of jerk who's like, yeah, I'm gonna buy it because of your body type and this stuff and the other thing. You're like, yeah, you're wrong by the fucker. But what do you do next?

And so the next right step, the next thing that feels right when you can't even see how the hat gets when it works out. You can even determine what the next right step is. Yeah, you feels right when you can't even see how the hat gets going to work out. What have you determined with the next right step? Yeah, you just get, for me, I just get still. I pray, you know that. I pray. And I just, but whether for you, you know, listening, it's prayer or it's the universe

or your intuition, when you get still, all you can do is try to listen, right, and try to live that answer or whatever it is, and take that next right step. And I just felt, I just had this knowing I was supposed to keep going. And even when it didn't make sense, and I remember crying myself to sleep, I remember writing my journal, know your why, then fly, grow, fly. And I read those words every day until I didn't need the reminder. I would Google stories of people that had gone through thousands of rejections who no one would know that they went through them because they're so successful today or you know when I just kept trying to sort of build

this toolbox of things I could lean on, how did QVC come about? Because you Built it cosmetics and it became because of you the most successful beauty brand on all of QVC You did over a thousand appearances. Yeah, so how did you even get on to QVC because that in and of itself Is no small feet. Well, you know there their head guy head guy of beauty, who's like a legend, had said, no to me many times, no, you're not the right fit. And I happen to be at this this big beauty expo. And was this before or after this guy was like, no, we're not investing after after after. So she has now gotten three years of nose. Yeah. They're almost out of money. Her intuition is no one that she's going gonna fly girl fly. So she is still showing up to a beauty expo

where I want you to understand in the business world it's like going to a convention where everybody that you have ever fooled around with who has then broken up with you is attending. So everybody that has said no answer. Yes. You know, she walks in and it's like, oh, here's this chick again.

The itch chick, right? Yep. The itch cosmetics person that has been sending me the stuff and calling me and we have told her no, do not make eye contact. This describes the exact one. Yeah. Everyone he pulled around with you broke up with you

and they're like, oh, don't make eye contact. No, this chick again. Yeah. With that skin, with broke. Yeah. So you're at this thing. You've been told, no, by the big, big, big, big, big person. It's been three years.

We're talking like 2011, 2012-ish. What do you do? So you get this three-foot table, right? It's a huge convention. There's 6,000 women at this convention. They're walking up and down in its every beauty brand in the world. Are they buying it for their stores? No, so what it is, it was this big cosmetic executive women award show. You get a three-foot

table, you're demonstrating your product, you're hoping that someone who walks by either wants to carry your product in their stores or with all the presses there, they cover your product. And when I got there, I saw QVC had this huge booth in the background, and you're not allowed to leave your table. I couldn't afford to get kicked out, but I just kept having this feeling like, OK, I've called them a million times. They told me no forever, but I've never met anyone in person. So I kept trying to sneak away from my table.

And every time I got over there, the buyers would be mobbed with people. I eventually got over there, made my way to one of the buyers, introduced myself, poured my heart out. Like, was, I remember sweat just dripping through my clothes because I was freaking out down to no money. I'll cut a real long story short, but she gave me her card. And you know, it's like when someone says, oh, DM me on Instagram, you don't know if they meet, they really mean it. Then you're on your Instagram checking your DMs

and you're like, oh, they still haven't replied. And I thought, is that what it's gonna be like? But she actually meant it. And I flew out, had a meeting with her. We got a yes, my first big yes, for one shot on QVC. And what it meant Mel was I was gonna get this 10 minute segment live on the air, live in front of a hundred million homes.

And I either had to sell enough product to hit their sales goal or not come back. We were only doing one to two orders a day on our website. Okay. One to two orders a day everybody our website. Okay. One to two orders a day everybody. Yep. After three years. For almost four, yeah, three years of this.

Yeah. This is really keeping the lights on. And so now you get this, you get your shot. Like there's moments in life. Yes. You're at bat. Yep. And you gotta be ready for those. Yeah. And you got to be ready for those.

Yeah. And so put us right there with you. What happened? Yeah. What happened was I was about to learn one of the greatest life lessons I've ever learned to this day. Here's what I mean by that. So I found that I get one shot.

And I had to sell over 6,000 units of Rack and Sealer in this 10 minute window to hit their sales goal. We're not coming back, which was about 130,000 or 140,000 dollars a product in a 10 minute window. I also wanna point out to everybody that's 10 years of sales on her website at the current on that. So in 10 minutes everybody,

see on live television, has to move 10 years worth of volume. She was selling on her website at that time. In one shot. In one shot. She's ever done this before. I realize you were a television anchor, but this is a total year of a thing. Well, can you see it's, I mean, you know, it's unlike stores where you can walk in and there's thousands of products in one space. Their one-minute air type can get one product. So you're competing with the volume of like Apple iPhone or Dyson Vacuum. You have to hit these high sales goals.

And what I quickly learned was the offer was consignment, which meant I wasn't guaranteed to be paid for. I had to figure out how to get a loan to cover the costs of manufacturing 6,000 units of product, shipping it in, going through legal, going through QC, going through all of it. And then I learned if I go on air and it doesn't sell, I have to take it all back. Oh my God. And therefore, go out of business, right?

So you should never, ever, ever accept a purchase order. You can't afford to lose, ever. But at this point, it was like, I don't know what else to do. This is it. This is it. This is it. And so here's what happened. We went to 22 banks that also know and they probably should have the 23rd bank, which was California bank interest and gave us a loan that covered our very first purchase order and a little bit more. So I took the little bit more.

So I took the little bit more, we hired third party consultants. I'm like, I'm going all in. I want to do the best 10 minutes I can possibly do. I want to have no regrets. And they all told me the same thing, which is, if you want a chance at making it, here's what you need to do. You need to use this type of model to demonstrate your product, which is flawless skin, early 20s, all the same skin tone. And I'm like, okay,

but that's inauthentic. That's not why I'm building this brand. I'm like, what if I put models in their 70s and then and someone with hyperpigmentation and someone with acne and and what if I take my own makeup off on national TV and I could prove live how the product works and they were mortified? And here's the thing Mel, they wanted me to win. They were giving me the best advice that they know how. Did people say, wait, you can't take them on the air? Was there any, like, we're feeling like,

oh, she's got this, just got to be terrible? Like, what was that like when you walked in? Did they even know you were going to take your makeup off? Yeah, I let them know I wanted to. And QVC was great. They want everyone to be their authentic selves. It's just this has never been done this way before. Okay. And I wish I could say it was easy for me to just go, I'm just going to go with my knowing, but the truth is I flew out there a week early male. I sat in a rental car in the parking lot, cried every day. I actually second-guessed myself. I'm like, if I do it, maybe I'll do it their way first,

then I'll make money, then I'll do it my way. But I know that you can't fake authenticity. An authenticity alone doesn't automatically guarantee success, but when I do know it's an inauthenticity guarantees failure every time. Okay, everybody stop the professor classes in second-year-to-year that inauthenticity being fake, trying to do something everybody else's way, because that's just you're too insecure to do it your way,

that never guarantees success. Authenticity, you're knowing, you're special spin on things. That is the pathway to purpose and success. And so after a week of crying in your rental car in the parking lot at QVC, you are like, I'm going with the knowing. I'm going with the knowing. And so tell us about that first appearance. You're standing there on a television set. There's a bazillion cameras.

The lights are bright. You got your models there. You're taking the risk of your lifetime on live television in front of a hundred million homes. You were doing something that has never been done on television before. Yeah, I remember literally I wore two pairs of spanks now, not because I cared how I looked,

but like I was so freaked out, like my hands were shaking and I was sweating through my clothes. So I had on double spanks under my dress. And I remember the moment the camera went live, right? And there's a big countdown clock on the floor that started at 10 minutes. And by the way, a minute or two before I went onto the set, I learned you're not guaranteed your 10 minutes. Why?

If you are a minute or two into your cell and you're not hitting numbers, they know by the second. Your clock, you might think you have eight minutes still to go and your clock will jump to one or jump to two minutes left. Because the product's a flop. Yep, exactly. And you're a flop.

So you literally are racing against the clock to be successful out of the gate. So what did you do to like hook everybody? Did you take your makeup off right away? Yeah. So first of all, I go out of the, I go live and remember it was like 959, 958, 958. And I'm like, and I remember I had practiced in my bathroom mirror, right?

So many times, if I had known the high five habit, then I would have been way more confident. But I was practicing in the bathroom mirror this demonstration a million times on my wrist. How our concealer doesn't crease and the best to selling concealer's crease. And I done this demonstration like this where I show it and they all start to crease. So I'm holding my wrist up, trying to do this as we go live, but my hands like this now. And it was never like shaking when I was doing an amazing band everybody. Like, yeah, so, so ready written.

Yeah, she's sweating through those bags. And her wrist will not bend so she cannot demonstrate that her product won't crease. Yes. And the host grabbed my wrist and was like, thank you, sugar. And she took over. And then I remember my bright red bare face before shot coming up on national television. I remember walking over to our models, real women, all shapes, sizes, skin tones, skin challenges, calling them beautiful, meaning it. So when did you take your makeup on? She grabbed your hand and said, thank tones, skin challenges, calling them beautiful, meaning it.

So when did you take your makeup off? Which you grabbed your hand and said, thank you sugar. Yeah. Yeah. That was just the offer where you like, it was like out of my body. I was just, do you like just then take your makeup off? Well, they did a whole bare face before shot of me for that show. I have taken it off live a million times since the first show was like, yeah, bare face

before shot. And then the after, I remember we were, gosh, six or seven minutes in. I didn't know how we were doing, bare face before shot and then the after. I remember we were, gosh, six or seven minutes in. I didn't know how we were doing, but I knew we weren't cut yet. And then it got down to like a minute left and the host said, the deep shades almost gone. The tan shades almost sold out.

And I was like freaking out. And I remember literally right at the 10 minute mark, this giant sold out sign came up across the screen and I start crying a national television. Oh, I love you. They cut from me and went to like Dyson Vacuum or something. And I remember my husband came rushing through the double doors of the studio and he's like has his arms up and I'm just sobbing and I'm like, oh, women are smoking. And I'm just like crying. And I thought he was gonna give me a hug or be all excited.

And he just looked at me and he's like, we're not going bankrupt. And I was like, ah, and I just, that one airing, which was September of 2010, became five more that year than 101 the next year. And then I did 250 live shows a year myself, direct live on KVC year after year.

So we built the biggest beauty brand in KVC's history. And the only reason that I share that is because it was years of no. And you're not the right fit. And what I love for anyone listening who needs to hear this is no one can tell you you're not the right fit. No one. And you can get all the nose in the world, but you have your knowing. And, and, and, and by the way, I believe this

mouth, I believe even when you trust your knowing, and then it seems like it was wrong, and things don't go your way over and over and over. Like, I look back at those moments, right? I really wanted that investor to invest in us. Thank God he didn't. When I say everything's happening for us, what I mean is like, if he, I was so desperate that if he would have invested in us then, I probably would have given him the majority of the company for pie almost no money, right? By the time, many years, six years later, after that day, six years later, when L'Oreal bought this little company and started my living room for 1.2 billion dollars cash, Paul and I were largest shareholders.

And I look back and it's like, oh gosh, thank God, all the nose happened when they did even when they sucked, even when it felt like it wasn't fair. And I can look at that in many scenarios. Sometimes we don't have some big positive outcome, but we learn a purpose through a no, right? We learn a calling through a no. We learn a lesson, we build strength, we build resiliency, we appreciate the beautiful moment

so much more when we've gone through the tough ones. So have you ever seen that investor since? I have not seen him. Of course I asked the petty question. I'm like, if you ever seen that investor since? I have not seen him. Of course I asked the petty question. I'm like, if you ever like seen him to like twist the little life in there. So, so I heard from him one time ever again, and it was six years later, the day that L'Oreal announced the deal. So because they're a public company, they announced, you know, that they had acquired

at Cosmetics, made me the first woman to hold a CEO title of a brand, and they're a public company, they announced, you know, that they had acquired at cosmetics, maybe the first woman to hold a CEO title of a brand and they're 107 year history, they did the big press release. So, that's kind of surprising. 107 years, L'Oreal, a makeup company, it took them that long to have the first female CEO of a brand. I hope they have many more now, that is my pair. Yes.

But so they announced it, right? So all of a sudden, it was a home piece of all street journal, the press everywhere. And that was the first time and only time sense that I heard from that potential investor. And what did he say? He said, congratulations on the Luriel deal. I was wrong.

It's what he said. And wished me the best of luck. And that's what they do. So you're able to admit you're wrong. It is. And so when you speak about petty, so what I did say to him was thank you, but what I wanted to say,

what did you want to say? So in that moment, here's what I thought about. I thought about, do you remember the movie Pretty Woman where she goes in the store and they went to helper? And then she goes back. Remember when she goes back? Yes. So I wanted to say to him, big mistake.

Huge. Huge. I could give you 1.2 billion reasons why it was a huge mistake. But I didn't. I wouldn't have wanted to be him in that situation. You know, we probably would have been one of the most successful investments in his firm's history. So I always say rejection is God's protection so often. You know, there's another one everybody. Rejection is God's protection. Yeah. It's a good way to frame it. And I think

when you look in the rear view mirror, you know that all the rejections you've faced, especially in relationships, were there to protect you. I think the true thing that you've taught me through your story and through the example that you continue to set Jamie is that true power and grace and grit and belief is about seeing that in front of you, not behind you, that the rejections that you're facing right now that you can look ahead and realize it's protecting you in this moment. After doing something so extraordinary and you also have made a huge difference in women's lives around the world because you are extraordinarily philanthropic, $40 million worth of product and monetary donations to people

that are struggling with cancer. What is next for you? Because you are right now in the middle of figuring out on this next leg of the journey called life, what your purpose is, and what your next thing is going to be. What tools are you using or how are you thinking about it? So many people, particularly after the last three years, have had a profound life change thrust on them. And they're looking ahead at an open road, wondering what their purpose is going to be, what they're going to do. Can you just speak to that person for a minute about how you're going about figuring it out?

Yeah. So one thing I just want to remind everyone to melt because I think people put so much pressure on themselves that their purpose has to be their job or their next job. And a lot of times, we can be doing a job that's fine. And maybe for family reasons, we need that health coverage and we need that paycheck. And your purpose can be found in the things you do outside of that, right?

There's a lot of ways to listen to that knowing and your gut. And then when it feels right, you know that's aligned with who you're born to be and how you're born to show up in the world. And so for me right now, you know, there's that famous thing just because you can, should you? Right? There's a big part of me now with all these, you know, could I go launch a bunch of businesses? Yes. And what I feel drawn to is literally, because here's the deal. Yes, I've built a billion dollar business. Yes, I have other companies I invest in.

You also are married and you have two beautiful children. Yes, a two year, four year old, incredibly devoted to your family. Well, and here's the thing is like, that's all part of my story. But when I look at my real story, meaning the part that ties deeply to my story, but when I look at my real story, meaning the part that ties deeply to my purpose, like my real story is a girl who went from not believing in herself to

learning how to. And so when I wake up in the morning and I think about the things I've done so far, the things I hope for my kids for and how I built a billion-hour business, it was really through seeing women helping them see themselves and believing themselves and believe they are worthy and enough. And that's what fires me up every morning. So when I think about what I'm stepping into next, you know, I wrote, believe it, my book about how to go from under a serene to unstoppable, donated all the proceeds and donating all the proceeds to that 100%.

I funded leadership. Hold on, hold on. Let's just underscore that. So she writes a New York Times best seller, donates all the proceeds from the book. Yeah. So you're kind of in this soup of knowing that this is the area where you want to focus the impact,

but it's still a fuzzy target, so to speak, as our friend Dean would say, it's a fuzzy target. If somebody kind of has a sense that there's something more, but they don't quite have there, they haven't had that aha moment yet that you had almost 14 years ago sitting on that television set. I'm going to make up and I'm going to bring real women and I'm going to show make makeup and I'm gonna bring real women and I'm gonna show my skin and I'm gonna solve this problem. I'm gonna make people think that they're beautiful because they are beautiful no matter what they're but,

and you did it, you did it. But if you're in the soup and you don't have the vision yet, is there an exercise or something that you would recommend that we all do while we're waiting for that clarity and that epiphany to strike. Yeah, two things. One, waiting for it to be perfect can be the lowest vibration, biggest excuse. Number one reason why people just never try and never get started.

So I think it's rare to ever have complete clarity. Like this is exactly perfect for it. And that's why, you know, I think two things. I think just taking a step and seeing how it feels is good, tuning into your knowing. I also think you mentioned our friend Dean who was saying it's a fuzzy target. You know, he, he was saying something to me recently about, you know, almost like when you're about to aim a bow and arrow and you're about to let go of the arrow, he's like, you can aim and turn it and twist it a few times before you let go of the arrow. It's okay to wait a little

bit and just make sure you're going to aim at the right thing. And, you know, so this year, for example, I've kind of been doing that. I've been saying, how do you things feel? You know, I have the gift and blessing of being here with you right now. How does it feel? Feels amazing. Well, like you, and maybe this is one of the reasons why we have become such dear friends in such a short period of time. And I often say on the show that I truly believe that the best years of your life and the best friendships that you'll

have are on the right ahead. But a lot of the reason why we connected so profoundly, even though we are different in many, many ways, is that it goes back to the Denny's waitress. Like at my core, I am still the waitress making money, waiting tables at the Red Rooster Tavern on scenic drive at North Muskegee, Michigan. Same as you, stalling because the fryer has now broken and the fried perch is not coming out and I'm talking to the tourists from Chicago and I'm treating everybody kindly and I know that all I want to do is impact people's lives that are just got their head down

and they don't feel very seen or heard. And I want to make them know that they have it within them to tap into this incredible power inside them to create whatever they want in life. Yes. And it starts with believing that you can and having somebody like you on who has demonstrated that is really important for people to hear. You know, on that topic of friendship, I love so much that you are the friend that people need to your audience.

And I'm honored to be the friend for this episode with you to everyone. And so, I'm honored to be part of that. Thank you. I think one of the things that I've learned, and it took me a long time to learn this, is that there is so much success and happiness to go around. And when you lift other people up, and you reach out for help, that your success comes faster and it's richer.

Yes. And it goes back to purpose. It goes back to that knowing and staying connected to your intention and this unique thing that you have to give to the world. It is not only your responsibility in life to stay connected to your knowing. It is your responsibility to advocate for it. Because only you have seen it in your heart and mind.

Of course, your family says no. They don't even know what they're, you're talking about because they only know the person that you've been in the past. Of course, the investor is gonna say no. Why? Because they only know what they know. Your knowing is yours.

And you have to stay connected to it and you have to keep describing it or advocating for it or explaining it to people so that they can see it too. And it's not until you demonstrate what you see in your own heart and mind by continuing to walk toward it, continuing to talk about it, continuing to believe in it, that it will become a reality. And that's why people say no, because it's your knowing, not theirs. And so in a weird way, a ton of nose or a lot of friction or bumping up against things as you're trying, you can't understand, why don't people get this, why isn't this working?

It's because it's your knowing not theirs. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I'm guessing. You're just the freaking best. And in case nobody else has told you, I want to just make sure that we end by saying that I love you. I know Jamie does too. Yeah, I love you also.

And and you're worthy of your greatest hopes and your wildest dreams and all the unconditional love in the world and and your purpose and worthy of your greatest hopes and your wildest dreams and all the unconditional love in the world and your purpose and worthy of grace, you know, the grace that you want to give yourself on this journey and we're all in it together. That's the beauty and power of your show also. If we're all in it together. We are, yeah, we are. Well, we believe in you. So get out there and do it. Oh, one more thing. It's the legal language. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professionals.