The Mel Robbins Podcast - The #1 Hack for Being More Productive Tomorrow

Episode Date: February 6, 2023

In this episode, we are talking about the #1 thing you can do to make sure tomorrow is a productive and awesome day. I’m sure you know the importance of a good morning routine. But what you may not know is that a rock-solid morning routine – the kind that kickstarts you and your day for maximum focus and to feel more in control, calm, and like the rockstar that you are…  It doesn’t start where you think.  If you truly want to own your day, you must first own the night before. That’s right.  Hours before you even lay your head on your pillow, your decisions have either set you up for success or they have set you up to fail. Your brain is primed to be the most productive during the first 2-4 hours of the day. That’s why I want you to get serious about how you set yourself up the night before. This episode is packed with research-backed tactics, specific advice, and the four science-backed components of the best evening routine. And this is also one of those tough-love, hit you with the common-sense, friend-to-friend conversations that you know and love from me. Xo Mel  Take my free 5-day challenge – The Wake Up Challenge – to walk you through getting started with these tools: www.melrobbins.com/wakeup. In this episode, you’ll learn: 1:30: Here’s where your morning routine should REALLY begin.2:30: Are you losing your next day by revenge procrastinating?5:00: Here’s what my evenings used to look like. Can you relate?10:00: Not getting out of bed with the first alarm? Here’s what you’re telling yourself every time you hit the snooze.13:40: The way your morning starts is the lead domino for your day.17:00: The secret to having a great morning is this.19:30: Rule #1: The 3-2-1 Method that will help you get a great night’s sleep.21:30: Rule #2: The Mindset Flip. This is how you make your life easier.22:15: I do this at night so I get to the gym in the morning.25:45: Rule #3: Feel way more empowered about your day if you do this.28:15: No more excuses. Do this tonight.30:00: Rule #4: This is where most of us get our mornings wrong.33:30: Flip how you think about the alarm and you’ll shift your whole day.36:40: I feel so strongly about this last hack because you allow the world to steal your attention and you deserve better.39:15: I got a little worked up here, but it’s because I have regrets. For episodes notes and resources, go to melrobbins.com/podcast Disclaimer This podcast is not meant to be a substitute for therapy and is for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is my passion, however, to bring you free and accessible content that can help you change your life for the better.

Hey, it's your friend Mel and welcome to another amazing episode of the Mel Robbins podcast. Welcome. My name is Mel. I'm a New York Times bestselling author and one of the most respected experts in the world on change and motivation. I'm so excited to be here because today's conversation is incredibly tactical and it's going to change your perspective immediately on something you probably don't think a lot about. But it's a really powerful concept. But I didn't really get serious about this topic

until a few years ago, really. And the topic that I'm talking about is your morning routine. And why a morning routine is so important for your success. Because when you create a rock solid morning routine, you will create a better morning for yourself and that creates a better day for yourself and that day becomes a better week and that week becomes a better morning for yourself and that creates a better day for yourself and that day becomes a better week and that week becomes a better month and that month becomes a better year. And next thing you know, along the way, you became a better you and that's the whole point of all of this.

So I'm going to start this conversation today by talking about the single biggest hack that has helped me create a rock solid morning routine. Here is the hack. Your morning routine begins the night before. I'm going to say that again. If you want to master a rock solid morning, and trust me, you do. Your morning routine begins the night before. And that's what we're going to talk about today. We're going to talk about five simple things. These are game changers. These are not rocket science.

You don't need a PhD to understand this, but let me tell you some. When you put this into practice, you will experience a level of holy shit transformation that is hard to put into words because the decisions that you make at night determine who you are when you wake up in the morning and you have a choice every evening to either set the future you up for success, for ease, for confidence, for winning, or you can make decisions in the evening that set you up to feel like shit, to be behind, to have a ton of stuff to do that you could have done last night, your decisions determine everything. And so I really want to rattle the cage today and get you to think differently about the night. I know that your days are stressful. Mine are too. That's

why so many of us engage in what's called revenge procrastination at night, where you feel resentful of the fact that work took up your entire day. And now you're going to get revenge by mindlessly scrolling at night or plowing through a bottle of wine or doing nothing to set yourself up because you're tired or you're mad and you deserve to relax. I agree. You do deserve to relax. But if you were to just do these five things and I'm going to recommend, you would have

time to relax, but you would also set the you that's going to wake up tomorrow morning, up for a clean slate day where you wake up, you feel great, you're set up for success, and that is going to be a positive domino that triggers a ton of positive stuff to happen every day. That's what we're talking about, Because the choices you make at night, determine whether or not the next day is going to be easy and empowering or whether or not you are going to wake up to a morning like the old Mel Robbins used to wake up to. And whether you're aware of it or not, I just want you to stop and consider something. Right now in your life, you already have an evening routine in place.

You already have a morning routine. And today, because the big hack is understanding that a great morning routine starts the night before, you and I are going to focus on your current evening routine. And I, as your friend I'm going to challenge you to change it. So let's do a quick experiment, okay? I want you just to stop, think about the night in front of you and be honest, what is the average evening in your current life look like? I'll go first, because back when I was really struggling, the old mal, I now realize how much my evening routine

was contributing to the fact that I was struggling so much. And then I'm going to walk you through the five things that the new, the current malrabans does every single night. So here's what the old Mel's evening routine looked like many years ago. I would either come home from work or I would roll downstairs from working on my laptop all day and I'd crack open a bottle of wine. I'd cook dinner by trying to throw something together that was in the fridge because I hadn't really planned anything. I'd throw a load of laundry in here and there,

and then you know what I'd do? I'd basically slump down on the couch, and I'd start scrolling through social media. After dinner and helping the kids with the homework, you might find the old Mel Robbins just sort of laying there in the couch with the bottle half drained, glass of wine in hand. I got a movie or some series on the television.

I got my phone in my hand. I'm zoning out. I'm scrolling along during the commercials, the old Mel Robbins. I'd probably turn to Chris complain about my day. Then I'd look over at the kitchen and I'd see that the counters were full of crap from the dinner that we had cooked or from the backpacks that we had emptied or the laptops that we had put there. The kids' homework was typically sprawled out among the island and I would say to myself this, this was the routine of the old Mel Roberts.

I should probably clean that up over the next commercial break. And I'd say that over and over again. I should probably back their launches. I should probably turn off the TV and read a book. I should probably move the laundry from the washer to the dryer, so it doesn't sit there for five days and then get that disgusting damp old towel smell to it. And then I have to re-rosh it again.

I know you do that too. And all of a sudden, it would be almost 11 o'clock before I knew it. I would have polished off that bottle of wine. I'd get up and I'd clear off the counters and put most of the dishes into the sink, a few of them into the dishwasher. I'd do my favorite cleaning trick,

which is instead of scrubbing and cleaning the pans that I had cooked in her in, I'd just fill them up with warm soapy water and let them soak. Cause I'd tell myself it's going to be easier to clean them in the morning if they soak all night. Now by this point, I'm exhausted, I'm buzzed on the wine, I'm tired from a long day.

I kind of resent the fact that I have more to do and it's now 11, 15 and I'd start to tell myself, well I'll just pack the kids lunches tomorrow. And then I would turn off the lights, I'd let the dog out one more time, I'd lock the doors and I would collapse into bed with my phone. Now, it would take the old Mel Robbins a little time to fall asleep. Why? Because while I was laying there with Chris sound asleep next to me, I would scroll through my phone, I would check out social media, I'd read the news, and eventually I would zone out. And as I was lying there, I'd feel kind of annoyed that Chris had gone to bed earlier, he had already drifted off to sleep.

And at some point, I'd realize, oh my God, it's like almost 1 o'clock in the morning. How did it get so late? And for all of my fellow procrastinators out there, you know, those of us who pulled all nighters in college who thought tomorrow, tomorrow is a great day to back the bags, to start my workout routine, to clean up the kitchen, to set myself up for success. Tomorrow is the day when the new me will emerge from my beauty sleep tonight.

I will shake off that hangover from the bottle of wine that I've had. I'll pop a couple Advil and I will make a fresh start. Tomorrow is the fresh start. That, well, that was the old Mel Robbins. I used to have all kinds of stories about myself for why it is that, you know, I just couldn't get my act together.

Oh, it's just so hard for me to wind down after a long work day. I have trouble falling asleep. I need a glass of wine or two or three or four in order to relax and to fall asleep. And, you know, I'm just not a morning person. That's why I can't get up earlier. I don't know why I wake up and I feel anxious and slightly hung over. But, you know, I'm just not the kind of person that ever just brings out of bed.

And I get so much work that I just want to relax at night. What's the big deal? And the problem with this is that my knights did not set me up to have a relaxing morning. Let me tell you what the old Mel Robbins life was like. Thank God Chris is not on this episode because he would really describe it in a way that makes me feel like a loser. So I would usually need to get those kids out the door and to the bus by 7.30. I would set several alarms on my phone. The first one to go off at 5.45, but that's not actually when I'm getting up.

That's just alarm number one. And then I'd set another alarm for about, you know, six o'clock, and then I'd set another one for 6.15, and then another one for 6.30, and then another one for 6.45, which was kind of the time that I felt like I needed to get out of bed because that's only 45 minutes to get three kids out the door and lunches back and everything cleaned up. But I'd usually honestly roll out of bed at the last alarm, which was like the emergency alarm, which was 7.15. Sound familiar? Don't tell me you don't do this. You do this. And I want you to

just consider, what is that act of setting multiple alarms, say to your subconscious? Think about what those actions communicate to you. I'll tell you what they communicated about the old male ravens waking up as hard, getting up as hard, mornings are hard, life is an obligation, being in bed is better than being awake. I don't want to get out of it. I don't want to start my day. There is nothing I'm looking forward to today. I have nothing to get out of bed for that actually makes me happy, which is why this is going to be a slow death march for me of alarms that are summoning me to roll out of this warm bed and actually start

this day. I wasn't a morning person because the old male robins chose not to be one. The old male robins literally did absolutely nothing the night before to set herself up for success. If you think about all the choices that I was making because deciding to just zone out in front of TV, that's a choice. Leaving the dishes for tomorrow morning, that's a choice. Not packing lunches to set yourself up for success. That's a choice. That is part of your routine And if you don't watch it, you're gonna become like the old male robins You're gonna be making your life harder for yourself without even realizing it And one of the main reasons why I kept doing it is because I kept telling myself I'm so tired

I don't have to do anything. I've worked all day and by doing that I was just making it harder Now thankfully I finally had this turning point when I realized, I don't want my mornings to be a five alarm fire drill, because there is nothing fun about waking up late and feeling frustrated and then being stressed at your kids and then yelling at them to move faster because you yourself didn't get up on time and then scrambling to pack the lunches and the drama that comes with that and then trying to get them to eat

when you haven't even prepared anything. And then finding that permission slip that they needed that you signed last night, but you didn't put it in a place that you could find it simply because you were not thinking about the fact that you deserve to wake up in a powerful way. You deserve to complete your day in a way that supports you. I didn't have to race out the door.

I didn't have to start my day, mad at my husband, frustrated by the frenzy, going from literally sleeping to a panic attack every single morning and then hopping in the car to commute to work to see that, oh my god, I have zero gas in the tank because I was too tired when I drove home last night to stop and I just wanted to get home so I didn't fill up the tank and now I'm running late and now I'm on the highway and I'm pulling on at the exact time that traffic literally doubles. Why do I keep doing this to myself?

And here's something interesting. Doesn't it make sense that if I start my day like that, I'm probably making myself more stressed and tired all day long, that that crazy morning is like a domino that falls and it triggers more stress and more being behind and more draining energy so that you're constantly feeling like you're always reacting because you are, because you set it up that way. I know this because I lived it for years.

And I just kept saying all the disempowering thing, why can't I be like, well, I don't have discipline, why don't I do this? And I didn't understand how to break this down in a way that not only makes sense, but it's supported by the research. And I think I was rolling home completely spent, not because work was long, not because the day was stressful, but because my entire experience of waking up and starting the day

had started that way. That I was looking forward to that bottle of wine. The second the kids got on the bus because I had spent the 45 minutes I was awake running around like the Tasmanian devil. And I'm here to tell you there is an easier way. Think about how many mornings you wake up and you bimmon the choices you made last night. How many times have you woken up and you're like, oh, I shouldn't add so much to drink or what about when you wake up and you had fast food at one o'clock in the morning on the way home from some event and now you've got a burrito bomb

and you're stomach and you're like, I can't do that to myself again. And then what do you do? You do it to yourself again. What if instead of bemoning the choices that you made last night? What if you got serious about making sure that the future you, the one that's waking up tomorrow morning,

is actually waking up feeling really good? It sucks to wake up and be anxious every morning, because you drank almost every night and the number one symptom of a hangover is freaking anxiety, because the chemicals in your body are getting processed and when the chemicals get processed and you have a dump of cortisol and the dopamine drops and you got the poison of alky, of course you have anxiety. Don't sit there and feel anxious. Do something about it. And that brings me back to this hack.

You can make this easier. You can be a different person. Your morning routine is everything when it comes to success and happiness and putting yourself first and finding the time that you deserve to focus on what matters to you. And that incredible morning routine has to begin the night before. That's the hack. And that's what changed everything for me. I am not the old male robins. In fact, just describing what my life used to be like is giving me a stomach ache when I think about how much unnecessary stress and drama I created for myself,

for my kids, for my husband. It wasn't fun for anybody. And so I'm not like that anymore. I am a completely different person because I decided I wanted to be a completely different person. And you don't have to be an AVC. You don't have to be a competitive athlete. You don't have to run a billion dollar company to understand that setting yourself up the night before is

the secret to waking up and having a great morning. And when you have a great morning, it's easier to have a great day. That's how this builds. How do you end the day? How do you wind things down and put yourself to bed? I want you to stop and think about something. You already have a routine about how you shut down your house or your apartment. Think about it. Do you ever go to bed and not lock the door? No. Do you go to bed and turn the lights off?

Of course you turn the lights off. Do you like make sure your pets are where they need to be? Of course you do. Do you turn off the TV? Of course you do. All of these things that you do, to turn off and shut down the house at night, you have a routine about what you physically do in your space or your home.

There is this shutting down that you do, that is routine. You don't even think about it. And I think about it. It's almost like we're putting the house to bed. It's easy to think about the list of things that you do without even being conscious of it when it comes to your physical environment.

What are the things that you and I can do to help you do that emotionally and psychologically? I want you to join me in getting serious about your evening routine starting tonight. I want you to embrace the fact that your mornings will be a hundred times better if you set yourself up for success starting tonight. All right, we need to take a quick pause and hear a short word from our sponsors because all of this is brought to you at zero cost. And I absolutely love that. And when we come back, I'm going to explain the five simple steps that I have put to use in my own life that is made an extraordinary difference.

I'm Mel Robbins. I'm so thrilled you're here. We are talking about the number one hack to creating a rock solid morning routine And that is by focusing on getting your evening right, putting yourself to bed, winding your day down in a really empowering way. I promise to share the five simple steps that I have put into action in my own life, and here they are. Step number one, use the 321 rule. The 321 rule is very simple. Here it is. Three hours before bedtime, stop eating and drinking alcohol. Two hours before bedtime, stop working and one hour before bed time, shut down the screens. You do the 321 rule, you're gonna get a great night sleep and you're not going to be so stressed.

I'm going to repeat it one more time. This is the 321 rule, and it taps into all kinds of research about getting a better night's sleep, about stress, about your mind being able to be calmer so you can get a better night's sleep, and about the impact on screens and blue light on your ability to get a good night's sleep. So here it is. Three hours before bedtime, you're gonna stop eating and drinking alcohol. And for me, because I got a better late, that meant we had to move the dinner time a little bit earlier. Second, two hours before bedtime, stop working. Stop working. One of the reasons why you may have trouble sleeping or relaxing or stopping racing thoughts or you may be

waking up in the middle of the night is because you're working too close to your bedtime. So your thoughts are spinning and your stress level is high. So two hours before bed, stop working. Press levels high. So two hours before bed, stop working. And finally, one hour before bed, you got to shut down the screen time. The blue light on your screens, your laptop, your phone, it is interfering with your brain's ability to shut down and sleep. So the 321 rule will make a huge difference in your life. Second, this rule I call how can you make things easier for yourself?

Let me unpack this. When I look back on periods of my life where it was a real struggle to stick to habits or to stay calm and confident, it was because I was making my life harder. I was relying on willpower or discipline or remembering to do things. And when it dawned on me, hey, there are simple things that you could do, Mel, that would make your life a hell of a lot easier, especially in the morning.

There are decisions that you could make at night. There are simple things that you could do in order to move the ball down the field at night. So when you wake up in the morning, you don't have to do so much thinking. So let me give you some examples of this. One way that I make my life easier in the morning is every single night.

I lay my exercise clothes out on the floor in my bedroom or heck, even in the hotel. So I've been on a business trip now. This is day 15 of a business trip hitting six different cities. And I move my body every day. And I know if I'm going to get up at six o'clock in the morning in a hotel, I don't want to be fumbling around in the dark looking for the pair of tights that are actually clean instead of having to turn the clothes inside out to figure out what I could put on my body. Do not do that in the morning. You're

creating too much resistance. It requires too much energy and thinking, make it easier the night before as you're walking around your hotel room brushing your teeth or you're you or washing your face or just let your exercise close out on the floor. Pick it easier. That way they're there for you and the more. You don't even have to think about it. Isn't that fantastic?

And if you've raised kids, how do you make mornings easier with kids? You pack their lunches the night before. You assemble their backpacks by the door. You put their hockey sticks or their tennis rackets or their cleats, the things that they need to remember right there. For you and me, here's how you can do that for yourself as an adult. Let's say you have a commitment every single morning as part of your morning routine to journal more, or to drink more water. Here's a great idea. Put the water bottle filled up by the coffee pot.

Put the journal where you're going to do your journaling exercises by the coffee pot. Why? Well, because you're going to make a cup of coffee tomorrow morning. So have it ready there. So you don't have to make the cup of coffee and then go, Oh, wait a minute, I was going to, where did I put that journal? Is it in the back? Where's the backpack? No, it's right there. Have your things by the door. Put healthy foods in the front of the fridge. Have a little dish that you always put your car keys in. We talked about this concept of make it easier in the episode that we did all about habits called five essential hacks I'm using to make new habits stick.

You guys ate that episode up. We will put a link to it in the show notes, but it's all about something called activation energy. When you lay your exercise close out, when you put your water bottle by the coffee maker, when you pack lunches the night before, it takes less energy than having to do it when you're stressed out in the morning. You don't even have to think about it.

You've set yourself up for success, and that means you're gonna be less stressed. And it means the thing that you might blow off if it's hard in the morning like exercise, you're more likely to get it done. Why? Because you've made it easier for you. You're more likely to get it done. Why? Because you've made it easier for you. You have supported the new you.

How cool is this? It's like a little gift that you're giving yourself. The third rule is give yourself a clean slate. I also like to call this flushing the toilet, okay? Like when you go to bed at night, you flush the toilet when you use it, right? But why? Because you do not want the mess from last night, they're to greet you in the morning. So why on earth would you do that in your kitchen? Empty the sink, load the dishwasher, clear off the counters, wipe them down. Why? Well, logic. Tomorrow morning, after you wake up and you go to the bathroom,

where's the first place we all go in our apartment or our home? We go to the kitchen. Would you rather see a kitchen that has last night's dishes, pots soaking in the sink, and stuff scattered all over the place from yesterday, all of which is unfinished business from yesterday, or would you feel more empowered if you walked into the kitchen and the counters were clear and things were organized and there was nothing that you needed to clean up. The answer is obvious. Do not take today's messes into tomorrow. And that's always been a huge thing for me because if I walk into the kitchen in the morning and I see a ton of dirty dishes, or I see stuff all over the island. It's a trigger. And my day goes downhill because I'm immediately distracted.

I'm immediately feeling like I should have done this last night. I should have put these dishes. Now this pot that has been soaking in the sink with all of the suds in it, the suds are gone, and the water is ice cold and disgusting and oily. I don't want to put my hands in that. And half the stuff hasn't soaked off anyway. And so I didn't make it easier. I actually made it harder and grosser and more disgusting.

And now it takes me even more time. So this idea for me of clearing the counters, no dishes in the sink, nothing on the counters. It means I am waking up to a brand new clean slate today, metaphorically, visually, everything. And so how can you do this? Think about this as part of the non-negotiables when you turn off the lights and lock the front door. Do a quick loop through the kitchen

and take five lousy minutes to pull it together. Clear off the counters, get everything in the dishwasher or finish the dishes, get it done. Because I promise you psychologically, walking into a physically clean slate helps you mentally feel like you've been given the gift of one when you wake up in the morning. So that's the first three. When we come back, I'm going to walk you through rules number four and five. And you're not going to miss this. 8th Mel and we are on rule number four for setting up and creating a powerful evening routine that is going to launch you into an amazing day tomorrow. So starting tonight, rule number four, get super intentional about setting your alarm.

And here's how you do it. There is no old Mel Robbins going on here. There is no five alarms that you're setting as you coax yourself out of bed. There is no backup plan here. Get intentional. What freaking time do you need to get up like for real? Let's not do the fake math that a lot of us do where we think that we can brush our teeth commute to work pack three launches and finish last night's homework in a matter of 10 minutes. You can't do that okay. You just can't. So tonight when you set your alarm I want you to make

a decision about the person you are becoming. I'm going to say that again. Tonight, when you set your alarm, make a decision about the person you are becoming. Tonight, be very intentional about what you you truly need to start your day feeling supported, confident, at ease. How much time do you need to truly put yourself first? Take care of your health and put a little bit of time into something that matters to you. Now, I want to just pause on this for just a second, okay? I think this is where most of us get it wrong. That your alarm has probably been set for the same time for years. And you haven't stopped to truly think about the person that you're becoming.

And when you think about the person that you want to become in this next chapter of your life, what does that person's morning routine look like? How much time do you truly want? And look, I get it. You might have to wake up 45 minutes earlier. I get it. You might not be a morning person. And I'm going to prove to you as we get to know each other that you don't have to be. You don't have to be a morning person and you can still create a rock solid evening routine and a rock solid morning routine. You don't have to be a morning person and you can learn and support yourself in getting up 30 minutes earlier because that is how much time you need in order to set your day up for success.

And see, I think a lot of us really lose the opportunity of a fresh start and a new morning and the structure of that, because we're not intentional and honest with ourselves about what we actually need. And what I've come to learn the more intentional that I get with myself is I need a lot of time in the morning. I need more time than the old Mel Robbins was giving herself, because I not only need time to roll out of bed and to brush my teeth and to high five the mirror and to move my body and to set my intention and to do all that before I help Chris or the kids or the dogs or anybody else that works for me or anybody else that the dogs or anybody else that works for me

or anybody else that follows me or anything else that might be on my phone, that I need, actually, if I'm being honest, I need about 90 minutes. I can get it done in 30, in a pinch, but I need about 90 if I don't wanna be rushed, if I don't wanna be resentful, if I don't want the be rushed, if I don't want to be resentful, if I don't want the things

that I really need to do so that I can start my day feeling powerful and empowered. That's truly what I need. I want you to be honest with yourself and I want you to ask yourself this question, what time do you truly need to wake up? To make it easier, to support yourself. What would the future you say? And if you can't think of a time, I'll give you one, set your alarm one hour earlier than you normally do. Because this is more than a wake-up call. This is more than setting an alarm. What I'm asking you to do is I'm asking you to make a promise. Because when you set the alarm clock tonight, what you're really doing is you're making a promise to yourself. You're making a promise that when that alarm rings, you're going to wake up, you're going

to get up, and you're going to get going. This is why it's important for you to be intentional, not casual about setting that alarm, but intentional. Because tonight, when you set that alarm clock, you're making a promise. And when you look at it that way, when that alarm rings tomorrow morning, it's about keeping that promise to yourself. That's what the act of waking up becomes. That the evening you set up the future you, the tomorrow you, the person you're becoming

with a clean slate and a promise for how much time it is that you truly need and deserve every morning. And if you can start to flip how you think about that alarm, how you set it, and what it signals when it sounds in the morning, that promise is there to be kept, it will shift what you think about the opportunities of the morning and the time that you need to truly honor yourself and put yourself first. Now, before we get to the final rule, which is a beautiful rule that you're going to hate like crazy, but it's the most powerful one of all. I just want to

recap the other four rules. We've talked about the 321 rule. We've talked about this mindset flip of how can I make things easier for myself. We've also talked about the importance of giving yourself a physical clean slate, so you can have a mental clean slate. And we just covered the importance of getting super intentional about setting your alarm and considering it a promise that you are making and keeping with your future self. And finally, number five, before you tuck yourself in, tuck your phone into the bathroom.

That's right, no phone in the bedroom. I want it in the bathroom, in the closet, in the kitchen. Once everything else is handled, the only thing that is allowed on that clear counter in the kitchen is your phone plugged in. Because I have one rule that has changed my life. And that rule is something I do every single evening. It is a critical part of my evening routine.

And that is, there is no phone in the bedroom, period. And starting tonight, I want you to try this. It's a lot harder than it seems. You are about to realize how addicted you are to your phone, how it interferes with your ability to have a powerful evening routine. You're also going to see firsthand how it is likely interfering with your ability

to fall asleep and stay asleep. So before you talk to yourself and talk that phone in anywhere but the bedroom. And here's how this is going to work. All you're going to do is just pick a spot that you're going to charge your phone overnight. And for those of you that have kids that need to reach you or a job that needs to reach you, I totally get that on the same. So here's how you deal with that.

You turn the ringer on. And you tell everybody in your life, I don't sleep with my phone, but the ringer is on. If you have an emergency call me, you will hear the phone ringing in the middle of the night. And what's really interesting, ever since I've done this and I've now done this for years, is that people don't call you in the middle of the night unless it's truly an emergency. But they will text and snapchat you all night long. And that'll keep you awake.

Don't tell me that it doesn't. And so this way you know that you can fall asleep and And that'll keep you awake. Don't tell me that it doesn't. And so this way you know that you can fall asleep and that somebody can reach you, but you're not going to be distracted by it because it's not going to be near you. If you use your phone as an alarm, excellent. I do too. And the good news about that is that if your phone is outside of the bedroom, and it's also your alarm, when it goes off in the morning, you have no choice but to get out of bed. And so I kind of like that hack, even though in the moment I hate that hack

when I hear the alarm going off. But you could also just buy a cheap alarm clock or use a watch or something else if you're no longer using your phone as an alarm. I feel so strongly about this because you've just spent your entire day letting the whole world have access to you because that's what you're doing

when you're watching the news or responding to email or sitting on Zoom calls or you're just scrolling mindlessly through social media. You are allowing the world to steal your attention, to choke your brain power with things that really don't matter. And honestly, there is nothing on your phone that is going to help you sleep tonight. The stuff that's on your phone is gonna get you stressed out,

it's gonna get you worked up, it's gonna make you stay awake, and that's why you can't have it near you. You can't trust yourself. We have to get the one thing that's been robbing you of your attention and energy all day away from you. Do not let people have access to you once you get into your bedroom. Do not let the thing that you gave your attention to all day long be the thing that is distracting

you at night. You deserve a great night's sleep and you are just not going to get it if that phone is sitting next to you on the bedside table. And don't lie to me, like we're friends at this point. The majority of us sleep with our phones. I shouldn't even say us because I do not. But the majority of people, including you, have that phone in your bed, it's right there, you look at it and you want to know something disgusting. A third of people check email in the middle of the night. What are you doing? Email in the middle of the night. Even are you doing? Email in the middle of the night, even if you can't look, what are you doing?

This is sick. And what I will tell you is if that phone is not in that bed with you, and it's not on the bedside table, and you can't just reach for it because it's a habit for you to reach for it when it buzzes and notifications or because you can't sleep all just look at my phone.

What a stupid idea. Because it's not there, you're not going to do it. And so there's a reason why you're having trouble sleeping. There's a reason why you wake up stressed out. There's a reason why you never have time for yourself. It's because you have shot yourself in the foot before you've even closed your eyes by having that phone there. I think you can tell I'm getting a little worked up

and I'm getting a little worked up because I didn't have to make my life so hard. I didn't have to do that. And the solution to an empowering morning starts with how you show up for yourself the night before. It is really that simple. I wasted so many years of my life by making things way more difficult than they needed to be.

If I had just gotten serious about these five simple things that I do now, I would have felt more in control. I would have been a lot more calm. I would have felt like I was a good mom and a supportive partner. I wouldn't have felt so much frustration. Like there's just so much available to you if you get serious tonight.

I want you to try it. And I want to help you. I have this free five day challenge. It all takes place in email. It's called the wake up challenge. And it's a simple five day free challenge where I will support you for five days and help you get out of bed and feel in control and feel more empowered. All you need to do is go to melroventscom, slash wake up, it'll start first thing tomorrow,

because you know what, you deserve that. Now I know what you're thinking. Mel, what about the morning routine? We are gonna dig into the mechanics and the components based on research of a rock solid morning routine. We will do that in one of the next couple episodes. I promise.

So if you have questions about it, go to melrawons.com and submit your questions about morning routines so we can make sure that it's super relevant to what you're dealing with. But in terms of the evening routine, try this tonight. Make it easy for that future you place a bet on the you that's waking up tomorrow, give that person the support that they deserve.

Because if you do that, trust me. The change is gonna come faster and it's gonna be easier because you, my friend, will be supporting that change. All right, one more thing. I just wanted to say I love you, I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to try these things tonight and support yourself in a whole new way. Because when you do that, you

will be creating a better morning for yourself, and that creates a better day for yourself, and that day becomes a better week, and that week becomes a better month, and that day becomes a better week and that week becomes a better month and that month becomes a better year. And next thing you know, along the way, you became a better you. And that's the whole point of all of this. Go get after it. I love you. I'll talk to you in a few days. Oh, one more thing. It's the legal language. This podcast is presented solely for educational

and entertainment purposes. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Stitcher therapist or other qualified professional. Stitcher