The Mel Robbins Podcast - This One Hack Will Unlock Your Happier Life

Episode Date: June 17, 2024

Today, you are going to learn one of the best science-backed hacks to feel happier, more connected, and even make you more successful. The simple tools Mel shares today will boost your mood, lower your stress, and make your life more meaningful.In this deeply personal episode, you’ll learn 4 specific applications of this powerful and profound research – and you may be surprised by how simple it is to find and bring into your life.By the time you finish listening, you’ll be inspired to take immediate action to create a positive ripple effect in your life and your relationships.For more resources, including links to the studies mentioned in the episode, click here for the podcast episode page. If you liked this episode, you’ll love listening to this episode next with Dr. Adam Alter, who is mentioned in today’s episode: 6 Simple Science-Backed Hacks That Will Make Your Life BetterConnect with Mel: Watch the episodes on YouTubeGo deeper with Mel’s free video course, Make It HappenFollow Mel on Instagram The Mel Robbins Podcast InstagramMel's TikTok Sign up for Mel’s personal letter Disclaimer

Hey, it's your friend Mel and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. Now I love this time of year because the flowers are non-stop and I am kind of a flower freak. And when the spring starts to hit and the blooms start to burst through the ground, I mean first you get the grape hyacinth, those little like purpley flowers, and then there is this kind of linden rose, I think it's called, that burst through, and now lilacs are in bloom, and daffodils, and tulips, and oh my gosh, the peonies are coming. I just saw the tree peonies were about to bloom.

Can you tell? I love flowers. I love growing them. I love cutting them. I love arranging them. I love sending them, I love cutting them, I love arranging them, I love sending them to people. And there's one thing that I love almost as much as I love flowers. And that brings me to what we're going to talk about today.

And what I love almost as much as I love flowers is finding simple ways based in science that can help you and me enjoy our lives a little bit more. You know, that just sparked that simple happiness, the everyday joy, and that's exactly what you and I are going to talk about today. Today I am armed with so much research about one of the most beautiful and awe-inspiring and simple things that you can do starting today to make yourself and the people that you love a little bit happier.

I got research from Harvard and studies from all around the world to prove that this one thing is gonna just make life feel so much better. And I guarantee you, this simple thing is right in front of your nose. Are you curious about what it is? Good, because I'm going to tell you all about it next.

I'm so excited. Today, you and I are talking about one of the most beautiful, awe-inspiring, and simple things that you can do to make yourself happier, to make life a little bit better. Not only is it going to make you happier, but it also spreads the love and joy and happiness to other people. I want to start by acknowledging you for

choosing to listen to something that could improve your life. I just think that is so cool that you're taking time for yourself and it's a real honor to be here with you. If you're a new listener, welcome. Welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast family. I am glad you're here. Now this one thing that we're going to talk about today is not only beautiful, it is awesome, and it literally also inspires awe.

But it's also really cheap. I mean, in fact, it might even be free if you know what you're doing. And I'm going to teach you today how to know exactly what you're doing, because we're talking about flowers. Yup. Not just flowers and how beautiful they are, but the science and research about the impact that flowers have on your life, on your health, on your relationships. It's astonishing how much research there is. Now, I love flowers and I always have them in my house.

I have them growing outside. I buy them at the grocery store. I love flowers, and I always have them in my house. I have them growing outside. I buy them at the grocery store. I love fresh-cut flowers. You may be the kind of person that loves vegetable gardens. That's not me. You may be the kind of person that loves growing tomatoes on your deck or on your balcony. That's not me.

I have a cutting garden for flowers, not a vegetable garden. That's how much I love flowers. Why? Why do I love flowers. Why? Why do I love flowers? Well, probably the same reason you love flowers. I mean, if you stop and think about it, doesn't a flower just kind of lift your mood

every single time you look at them? And now after our conversation today, I just have so much science and research to share with you, it's kind of jaw-dropping. According to research at Harvard Medical School, fresh flowers in your home has such a positive impact on your mood, on your mental well-being. Let me tell you about this research. Dr. Nancy Etkhoff of Mass General Hospital here in Boston, she's at Harvard Medical School, did a study that proves that living with cut flowers in your apartment, in your home, strengthens feelings of compassion. Cut flowers decrease anxiety and worry? I

know that if you're not a flower person like me, you're probably like, what? Flowers? Come on, Mel. It's kind of easy to be skeptical, right? And so you may be thinking, well, okay, how exactly did Dr. Etkhoff and her team at Harvard measure how flowers make you feel? I dug into the research for you you and here's what I found. They had people in this study live with fresh cut flowers in their homes for less than a week. And then they measured them before and after. And the study showed that people who had fresh cut flowers

in their house felt an increase in feelings of compassion and kindness for others. Why? Well, I want you to stop and think about a moment when you really did stop and smell the roses. Maybe you're listening to me right now as you're on a walk or you're sitting at a stoplight in your car.

Look around, is there something blooming? I mean, just think about how insane it is, like for real, how the heck did this living work of art unfold in front of my eyes from the dirt? That you take a tulip and it starts with this like dried up brown bulb and you stick it in the soil and it just bursts through the soil and it shoots up this green stem and then this beautiful flower forms. It's so beautiful and you also know that it's fragile. That if you touch the petals too hard, you'd rip it off.

Just staring at a beautiful bloom, it activates this sense of the beauty and the fragility of life within you. And I think that's what activates kindness and compassion as you look at it. And you just go, isn't that beautiful? And you feel yourself soften. That's what the researchers are talking about. You know, it's also why instinctively you send flowers to somebody

when they lose a loved one, don't you? Or you send flowers to someone on their birthday. Or when you wanna express this love that you have for someone who's in your life. You send flowers because they stand for something. Flowers represent joy. They represent beauty. They represent awe. They represent the fragility of life.

So does it really surprise you that in this study from Harvard, that people in the study said they felt less negative after being around flowers in their house for just a few days? It doesn't surprise me at all when I really stop and think about it. Of course it would have that impact on you. In fact, that's not all the research found. The researchers at Harvard found that the blooms brought people so much joy that they started reporting in the study that they were looking forward to seeing the blooms first thing in the morning.

And I'm going to ask you to stop and think about that finding for just a moment, too. You know, when somebody sends you flowers, right? Or you take the time to cut flowers, you buy a beautiful bouquet for yourself at the farmer's market and you bring them home. And then you put them in a vase and you put them somewhere. You typically what? Put them in the dining room table or you put them in the middle of the island of the kitchen

or you put them on your desk or next to your bed so you can see them. Isn't it true that when you have beautiful flowers in your kitchen, that simply walking into the kitchen and seeing them on the table or on the counter or on your desk, it just kind of makes you feel better? In fact, this morning I was out with the dogs, so you know, the dogs always wake me up, and then I let them out and I was walking around the yard and I cut a bunch of lilacs off the bush. And when I got into the house,

I'm like arranging the lilacs into this glass vase and I put them in the kitchen and I stand back and I smile at them. And it's like having a friend greet you. In fact, before I jumped on the mic, I walked back down to the kitchen to fill my water. There they were. And bonus with lilacs, because you can smell them.

And so you have this amazing, like, bonus. You see them. They're beautiful, like a work of fart. They're there like a friend greeting you. They smell great. And look, it takes a lot to get me out of bed. I'm not the kind of person who will get out of bed for donuts or for, you know, like, bacon being cooked in the kitchen.

Even some days, my two dogs, homie and Yolo, they'll be sitting there like, come on, Monk, and I'm not rolling out of bed. But I will roll out of bed to see the dahlias that I cut blooming in the kitchen, because that is a beautiful, beautiful sight. And this plays right into the research, because in this study at Harvard, it was proven that flowers also provide a boost of energy. And you've kind of felt it, haven't you? But I bet you didn't notice it. See, I believe that that energy that the researchers are talking about comes from that tiny feeling

of awe. That when you really look at a flower and you marvel at it for a second, there's this just feeling of being awestruck. And that's where this energy comes from. It's like a life force energy. It's almost like sunshine in a vase. They make you smile and feel better. And now you know why. Because the research says it's true and you want to know something that's also cool? There's even more science about

flowers. There was another study done by researchers at Rutgers University that was all about what happens when you give flowers as a gift. Wait till you hear this, this is like mind blowing. When you give flowers as a gift, it activates something inside you that makes you feel more emotionally connected to the person that you're giving flowers to. How cool is that?

And let's go back to that research from Harvard because I think I know why the gift of flowers makes you feel more connected to the person that you're giving flowers to. Flowers are almost like a surrogate for you. Flowers are a, just like a representation of your love. The flowers are a reminder to the person that you send them to to smile.

They're a thing of beauty. And because they're alive, it's like sending them life force in a vase. And then, and then you get to put something on the card. And when you write something on the card, guess what? The flowers even take on a bigger meaning because the flowers represent the full sentiment of what you just wrote on the card.

I love you, I miss you, get better, I believe in you, congratulations. Can you tell in my voice I'm just smiling, even talking about flowers? And I bet you are too. You wanna know why? Because right now as I'm talking about flowers and the beauty of flowers and the awestruck feeling

of really taking in a beautiful bloom, and I'm talking about how it makes you feel more connected to people and the moments in life where you send them to people. I guarantee you you're thinking of someone. You're either thinking of someone who sent you flowers recently, or you're thinking of someone who you're like, oh, I should really send them some flowers. Like I love that person.

And yeah, you should. You know, in fact, I got a story to tell you. Just last week, I had a really hard week at work. We are growing at hyper speed. There's a lot of changes going on. I'm working on my next book. Oakley is graduating. So I'm just feeling burnt out and tired.

And I've been up here in Vermont, just crank it away. And earlier this week, a friend of mine, Dr. Judith Joseph, who is this extraordinary MD, PhD researcher who is been on the Mel Robbins podcast. She is unbelievable. She sent me the most just insane arrangement of flowers. Like I am talking jaw on the floor, two delivery people have to carry it in.

It was the size of, you know those exercise balls at a gym? They're usually that sort of like bluish color and you see people kind of sit on them and do sit ups on them, they're probably three feet in diameter. You know what I'm talking about, right? This arrangement that Dr. Judith sent to me was that big. And I remember, this must have been a decade ago, I once saw Oprah Winfrey Post, a flower arrangement that either somebody has sent her or she had sent to somebody else and it was an arrangement of either like

bright red peonies or like 400 roses and it was this massive mound of flowers and I thought at the time I have never seen an arrangement like that. That is the most extraordinary thing. I will never receive anything that extraordinary because I will never do anything that incredible that that would be done. Like, literally, I remember seeing that over a decade ago. And the arrangement that Dr. Judith Joseph sent was an arrangement on that scale. And it was all my favorite colors. Like it was all the jewel tones. It was like coral peonies and pink roses

and oranges and apricots. It was like a jewel box, three foot globe of the most incredible flowers. And it went to our studios in Boston. I wasn't in our studios in Boston last week. I was three and a half hours away in Boston. I wasn't in our studios in Boston last week. I was three and a half hours away in Vermont. And you want to know what? I literally felt sad that I missed them. It goes to show you that flowers represent the person who sent them. It's as if one of my most favorite people stopped by the office while they were in town

and I wasn't there to see them. And so my heart sank and I'm not gonna be able to enjoy it. Like, oh my gosh, I'm seeing the pictures and I wanna see them. And so you know what I did? I gave them to a person on our team, Charlotte, who has been burning the midnight oil. She has been killing it.

And I just said, you know what, Charlotte, you should enjoy them all weekend. And you know what she did? She got them home and she kept sending me photos of the flowers all weekend and just talking about how much joy they gave her. And in every photo, you could see that the flowers were opening a little bit more and this arrangement was like a living thing. And this is what the researchers are talking about. This connection.

The flowers that Dr. Judith Joseph gave to me connects me to Dr. Judith. And then I shared them with Charlotte, somebody that I love and somebody that I wanted to do something awesome for. And that connects me to Charlotte. And the story doesn't end there because, you know, that was kind of midweek.

And so I walk into my house here in Vermont on Friday and we had been working all day. I've got this little cabinet that was my great grandmother's that sits in the entry of our house. And it's got this marble top. It's this antique cabinet that was, you know, in her house in Buffalo, New York. Normally, you know what's on top of that? Dog leashes and dog treats.

Although we don't have the dog treats there anymore because Yolo has figured out he can jump up and eat the dog treats on the thing. I know, naughty. Normally, it's like dog leashes and people's keys. Sitting there on Friday at the end of a work week, there was an arrangement just like the one that Dr. Judith had sent to me at the studios in Boston. I nearly fell over. And I pulled the card out and I'm like, who the hell said? It was from my sister-in-law, Christine, who's also my business partner. She's the chief operating officer and she knows just how much I've been working. I burst

into tears. I burst into tears. The thing was so freaking heavy, I couldn't even carry it into the kitchen. I had to get Chris to help me. And she must have sent a photo of the arrangement that went to the studio in Boston to a florist here in Vermont and was like, just do this. Because that's exactly what showed up.

And I burst into tears because I just felt so connected to her. I felt so seen. Like it would have been the same thing if she had hopped on a plane and flown here from Chicago and been standing in the entry waiting to give me a hug. And they've been sitting in the island in our kitchen for 10 days.

And every time I walk into the kitchen, it's as if Christine is sitting in the middle of the island waiting to give me a hug. The research is right. They make me feel better. And the flowers make me feel connected to Dr. Judith and to Charlotte and to Christine. And I know you've felt this, haven't you?

And I want you to know that when you send a beautiful arrangement to someone else, especially if it's out of the blue, they feel it too. They feel your love, they feel seen. And every time they see those flowers, they think of you. And by the way, this topic isn't just for women. All of this research applies to all of us. Men in your life love flowers too,

and they love to be happier, and flowers are an act of beauty and an act of love. And that's what's happening when you give them to someone else and when you give them to yourself. And so when you send flowers, I don't care who it's to, how old they are, whoever they are, you're honoring them.

And I'm just scratching the surface on the research here. I have stacks and stacks of things to share with you. We are just getting started. If you're starting to smile and you're loving this, don't you dare go anywhere, because we've got so much more to dig into in terms of just how powerful of a concept this is. So we're gonna take a quick pause,

hear a word from our sponsors. I'm waiting for you with a big smile on my face, an armload of flowers after the break. Don't go anywhere, you're gonna love this. ["Sweet Home Alone"] Welcome back. I am so thrilled you're here. It's your friend Mel Robbins. Thank you for listening to this today.

Thank you for leaning into this topic. Have you sent somebody flowers yet? Are you driving to the garden center? Are you thinking about what kind of flowers you're going to cut and put into your house? Good. I want that for you. And I also want you to hear this research that I found that is really crazy.

Researchers dug into the fact that in comparison to other gifts, flowers make you viewed as someone who is successful, caring, and emotionally intelligent when you give them to somebody else. Get this, researchers found that people who receive the gift of flowers in a research study responds with what science call a true smile,

not a fake smile. You've gotten a present where you're like, oh thanks, thanks, yeah, thanks for the bottle of wine I don't drink. Yeah, oh, thanks, thanks. Yeah, this framed picture that I think is hideous that I'm never going to put in my house yet. Thank you for that. A true smile is what people have.

You can't help it. And here's more on the research. People who receive flowers as a gift based on, report positive moods that last for days. Here's what the study found. The study found that, quote, the presence of flowers also led to increased contact with family and friends. And so I want you to really think about this, right?

Because that could be a detail that you're like, meh, okay, whatever. Think about the last person who sent you flowers. Just think about that. What did you do? Well, you either called them, right? Or you sent them a text with a photo of the flowers. Why?

Because the second you received them, it made you feel connected to them, which made you reach out, which then increased your connection with that family or that friend. Now, see, what I love about the research and this topic, right, is that you kind of know this. I mean, that's why we send flowers, right? Because you kind of know this. You know it's a good thing to send flowers because you're thinking of this person and

you know it feels really good to receive flowers and so you kind of know this. But what you didn't know is that simply putting one little flower in a little glass next to your computer while you work, It somehow makes you feel better, but now you know the research. You don't have an excuse anymore to not do it. Anytime you wanna do something uplifting for yourself, get yourself flowers. Anytime that you wanna do something uplifting

for someone else, get them flowers, because Harvard and Rutgers are now telling you, they have spent time, they have researched this, they have studies that has a proven and lasting impact. And here's how I want you to apply all this research to your daily life. I'm gonna boil this down to you, okay? You're ready?

Number one, always have fresh flowers in your house or on your desk or next to your bed, somewhere where you can see them. Why? Well, you can see them. Why? Well, you know the research, OK? You know that it makes you happier. You know that it boosts your mood. You know that it gives you something to look forward to. And check this out.

It makes you feel more connected to the person who gave them to you. When you give yourself flowers, you feel more connected to yourself. If you want to have a better relationship with yourself, if you want to be kinder to yourself, if you feel more connected to yourself. If you wanna have a better relationship with yourself, if you wanna be kinder to yourself, if you wanna feel like you're worthy, buy yourself flowers. Pick a flower from your garden, stick it where you will see it. Because that little flower in the vase

that you gave to you is evidence that you matter. It's evidence that you're kind to yourself. It's evidence that you're connected to yourself. It's evidence that you believe that you deserve things of beauty. You believe that you deserve to feel good. And look, I know it sounds silly. I'm asking you to do it and I'm daring you to do it.

And then I dare you to tell me it didn't make you feel a little better. Because it's not silly. Treating yourself with kindness, making yourself feel like you're worthy, doing small things that prove to you that you want to take better care of yourself, that's not silly at all. That's how you live a better life. That's how you feel better about yourself by proving it. And here, I'm going to give you my tip. You're

going to love this, okay? Because you can go to a florist and they could be very expensive and you might not be near a farmer's market or you don't have a garden or you don't have a balcony or a deck where you can grow some flowers in a pot, no problem. Here's the best tip I can give you. When you go to the grocery store, I don't care where you live in the world, they always have a little flower area, right? Here's what I want you to do.

I want you to skip all the mixed bouquets. They're too expensive. They charge more for those. And I want you to head straight for the little buckets where there's a single group of a singular type of flowers. You know, there's the bucket with tulips, there's a bucket with lilies, there's a bucket maybe with peonies, there's a bucket with flowers that are in season no matter what time of year it is, whose names I don't know, that last forever in a vase.

You get what I'm talking about. You want to buy the single bouquet of the single type of flower. Here's why. Number one, they're cheaper, okay? They're cheaper than a mixed bouquet. Number two, when you take them home and you cut the ends off so that they can suck up the water

and they look like a lot kind of crisper and cleaner, you can then separate them. Because in every bunch, there's usually somewhere between five to 12 stems of flowers in there. You can separate them and you can put them all over the house in just like little jars. And then you got fresh cut flowers everywhere

for the cost of one bouquet that might've only been $5. And because you're getting it at a grocery store, you can do this year round. Your grocery store always has flowers. Got it? Good. So do it for yourself. Now, here's a second way that you can leverage this research.

Today, when you're out and about and you're taking your walk or you're running to the farmer's market or you're heading to the grocery store or you pass a flowering tree or you walk by to the farmer's market, or you're heading to the grocery store, or you pass a flowering tree, or you walk by your neighbor's garden, stop. Stop. Even just stop, you know how a lot of restaurants have taken the time to plant planters

with just beautiful flowers, whether it's in the entrance to the restaurant, or maybe they have flowers out on the back patio, stop. with just beautiful flowers, whether it's in the entrance to the restaurant or maybe they have flowers out on the back patio, stop. Take one minute and just marvel at how freaking unbelievable and complicated and insanely gorgeous a single flower bloom is. And if you follow me on social media, particularly Instagram, you've probably noticed I'm always posting flower photos

because I am always just in awe of how extraordinary they are. In fact, every Friday night on Instagram, I tend to do a roundup of the week of photos and there's almost always a flower blooming. And almost every day on the stories on Instagram, you'll see a closeup of some kind of flower that I've grown or some sort of flower that I've seen in my travels

because it's almost like a form of meditation. If you stop and smell the roses, right, or stop and just look at the intricate detail of the flower in front of you, you have to be in the moment. You can't be thinking about your work deadline and just admiring all the little speckles that are on the inside of the petal of that lily. You can't. You can't be worried about the past if you are admiring the hundreds of petals on a peony

that is opening up in front of you. You can't be up in your head beating the hell out of yourself, telling yourself you're not good enough. If you are looking at a daffodil and just taking in the fact that it's bright yellow on the end of one petal and as it gets toward the center of the flower, it gets a little bit lighter, but then the center part has orange and holy cow, I've never noticed the red, you're in the moment. I always have a flower cut and sitting in a little jar right by my sink.

I always do this, why? Because as I'm washing the dishes, which I do, it seems, 100 times a day, do you feel like that? You're always at the fricking sink washing dishes. You see the flower and all of a sudden, you stop thinking about the future or the past, you stop griping about the dishes you need to do, and I just stare at the flower, and I take it in.

And it is a form of moving meditation. It cues me to be in the moment. In fact, right now, if you're on YouTube, you can see behind me, I've got all these flowers that I have grown. I cannot believe I grew those flowers. There's these huge red tulips, and there's these beautiful variegated lilacs. It's the sensation lilac variety.

It's purple with these white lines around the outside of the petal. And then there's this vase to my left of these pink, pink, pink tulips. And they're this beautiful kind of apricotty pink. And if you really, really stare at the tulip, it's got this white stripe that goes up on the inside. And then you look on the inside

and you know the little things that the bees, I say I love flowers, but I don't even know the technical names. I probably wouldn't be able to pronounce them anyway. It doesn't matter. I still admire it. Like, you know, when the bees go in and then they get drunk on the pollen

and there's those yellow things that are standing up in there that like, holy cow, it's just incredible. And it's all around you. And admiring it outside at restaurants and in the park and on the sidewalk and passing your neighbors, it's free. It's free. And now you know the research that simply taking in the beauty of a single bloom helps you tap into the sense of awe. It lifts your mood, it boosts your energy, it will make you smile. And here's the third thing you can do.

You're going to put flowers in your house, you're going to stop when you see them. You're going to send somebody that you care about flowers. Yep, yep, doesn't matter where you live in the world. You're either gonna stop by the grocery store and grab some and hand deliver them, or you're gonna look online. There's a bazillion amazing growers that you can find locally, places you can send from that are actually more affordable than you think.

My friend Jodi, I've talked about Jodi a lot on the podcast, she is my best friend, if you're a new listener, my best friend from elementary school. She recently moved back to Western Michigan where we grew up because her parents are getting older and she wanted to be closer to them and she wants to be there to help take care of them. And it was a big emotional move. You know, you're 56 years old, you're single, you're moving from San Diego where you've lived for six years and you've had your big job and now you're going back to live with your parents

to the small town of Western Michigan. I mean, that's a lot. And so I knew that I was not able to be in Western Michigan. So I sent a surrogate. I sent her an orchid. And when she first got it, she reached out and she was just like, you know, you could tell them that, you know when somebody writes you a text

and you're just like, they're kind of writing it like, aw, that when she first reached out, she's like, oh Mel, this means so much, you're so sweet. Like, I just can't believe it. Well, it's now six weeks later, and just two days ago, she sent me another photo. This thing is still in full bloom. And she wrote to me just two days ago,

I'm sitting here on this finally warm night as I look at this orchid. It is so lovely and it reminds me of you. Isn't that awesome? You know, it's my way to be there with her and support her. And you know, I was really trying to think about, okay, why exactly, why do flowers boost your connection to someone else?

Why is that? Because the truth is like, I could have easily sent her a book. I could have sent her a gift certificate for a massage. Lord knows when you move home to take care of your parents, you need one. But when you send those kinds of gifts, they're great gifts, don't get me wrong.

But let's just kind of unpack this, right? The thing about flowers is that they're alive and they're beautiful. There's that energy and the awe factor. It's almost as if that living, breathing, beautiful, flowering orchid is a stand-in for you. It's true, isn't it? Like, think about it. You can't look at a bouquet that somebody sent you and not think first about the person who sent it to you. I challenge you.

Try to look at a bouquet of flowers that somebody sent you for your graduation or your birthday or just because, and not think about them. You know, I'll give you another example. Right now on my desk, there's a flower arrangement, no surprise there. But this one is from a company called United Talent Agents. These are the agents who I work with who

represent the Mel Robbins podcast and our digital business. So I want to give a huge shout out to Orin and the team over at UTA. But they sent me this really beautiful arrangement. And the card that came with it is sitting on my desk. And the arrangement is in honor of this huge milestone that you and I have reached a hundred million downloads on the Mel Robbins podcast.

Like a hundred million dollars, a hundred million. I mean, the fact that a hundred million times you put earbuds in and you hit play, or you jumped in your car and you turned this on. Or you went for a walk and you took me with you a hundred million times. You've invited me into your life. If I could send you flowers right now to show you how much I love you, how much I appreciate you for inviting me into your life the way that you have, I would send you one of those

three-foot, huge globe arrangements like Dr. Judith sent me that requires two people to carry it up to your door. That's what I would do. And so I was reflecting on the phone with Orin, like, holy cow, dude, 100 million downloads? 18, that is no joke. And so the very next day, I'm sitting up here above the garage working

away on the podcast, there's a knock on the door, and flowers arrive. And I open up the card and it says, Mel, a hundred million is no joke. You should be so proud. Here's to a hundred million more. We love you, your UTA team. Now those flowers and the fact that they took a card and said what I said, those flowers aren't flowers. It's as if the whole team is sitting here with their arms around me as I'm just working away at my desk going, we are so proud of you Mel, keep going, keep going.

And the card, the card, I'm one of those people that I keep a good card, I keep a good flower card, I know you do too. And can you believe there's even more research and science on this topic? I'm not even done explaining the way that you can apply all this research because there's another thing that I want you to do. I'm gonna take a quick pause, hear a word from our sponsors.

If you're on a walk and you're listening, if you see a flower, just take it in. If you're driving, think about a flower, but don't you dare go anywhere. Stay with me. Welcome back. It's your friend Mel. I am loving this. I'm loving spending this time together. I wish we were in a flower field, don't you?

Don't you wish we were just running around, planting flowers together, looking at flowers together? Maybe we need to organize our first Mel Robbins podcast event as like some sort of flower tour. Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself because we've been talking about the three ways you can apply this research. I mean, how many more reasons do you need

to get on the flower bandwagon with me? Whether you are being really generous with yourself, let's start with you. Start with you. Buy yourself those flowers. In fact, don't ever go grocery shopping ever again if it's in your budget without spending five dollars on flowers for yourself. If you can grow flowers and if you can't grow flowers, admire flowers. go out of your way, do give flowers to your friends. It will make you happy, it will make them happy.

It's like a two-for-one happiness boost. And I wanna give you another tip, okay, about the grocery store. Because, you know, again, we're gonna, remember, walk past all the mixed bouquets. They're too expensive. I want you to go straight for the single variety that are wrapped up, right? The tulips, the peon They're too expensive. I want you to go straight for the single variety that are wrapped up, right?

The tulips, the peonies. Here's what I want you to do next. You're gonna grab them, but then you're gonna walk up to that counter at the grocery store, okay? And even if you are living in a city that has a lot of bodegas, so think about New York City. Tons of listeners in New York City, tons of listeners in Toronto, in London.

You got those grocery stores that have flowers on the outside of the store, so you pick them up outside. Even there, you take them inside and just ask either the person working at the counter at the flower place where they sell the balloons in a grocery store or take them inside to the couple that's running the bodega and just tell them, this is a gift. You don't have to say it's a gift for you. You know what they're gonna do for free? They cut the stems, they cut the plastic off

and take the price tag off, and they rewrap it in nice clear plastic or a nice clean piece of paper. They do it for free. It's like now a super nice gift, and it's for you or it's for somebody you love. You wanna know something super cool? You know the person that's working that counter at the grocery store?

They're either bored out of their mind or they would be stocking vegetables. So when you walk up and say, hey, could you help me like this is a gift? They're like, oh, everybody gets so excited. Yeah, I'd love to. And oftentimes, you know what they do? They literally cut it. They cut the stems. You see them start fluffing up the flowers and arranging them to make it look nice

because they get to do something beautiful too. They get to be around the flowers too. They get to be part of the gift too. So you're not putting anyone else out by asking somebody to wrap them for you. You're making someone else happier. So have I convinced you yet, you know, really start loving and living with fresh flowers?

I hope so. Have I convinced you to start giving them? Because it's not just petals and blooms and flowers that make you happier. Like, all this research is even bigger than flowers. Because check this out, when I started digging in, I found all kinds of amazing research on the impact that plants can have on your wellbeing

and your mental health and your concentration and also the impact of gardening itself. And I cannot wait to tell you about this crazy study that was done with plants. Because this study connects to something that Dr. Adam Alter, professor from NYU, he was on the show recently, and we were talking all about the brain and happiness.

And if you didn't hear that episode, no problem, always linked in the show notes if you wanna go deeper. But he did this kind of bit about the research that's been done on the impact of getting out in nature and how it impacts your brain and can make you happier and help you lower your stress. And so I want you to listen to Professor Adam Alter on the Mel Robbins podcast, talking about the research and how being in nature improves happiness and lower stress. The thing about nature is that apart from actually

being asleep, being in a natural environment is replenishing. It basically turns that dial upside down, and so your energy starts to climb again. So it gives you back a lot of what is sapped by that very focused attention. Because when you're in a natural environment, your attention is still grabbed by things. You might hear a bird, you might hear the running water,

you might look at trees, whatever it might be looking at the ocean. But that kind of less focused attention is really restorative. And there's actually a whole body of research called attention restoration therapy that focuses on exactly this idea that being in natural environments is one of the best forms of medicine we have. I think one really useful thing and why nature is so great is because it's timeless

that I think one way to measure how well you're living is are you spending at least some of your day in an environment that is timeless, that is not attached and tethered to the here and now, that is not about the latest screen, the latest device, the latest tech, the latest gadget. So when you are sitting in a forest, you could have been doing that a thousand years ago and seeing exactly the same thing. And I think there's some value to living

at least part of our lives every day in an environment that is timeless. Don't you just love that? Running water, nature, holy cow, no wonder I'm a happier person now that I live in Vermont and I'm around nature all the time. But you may not be around nature all the time. So if you can't get outside, don't you worry.

Dr. Alter has got you covered because in that episode, he also talked about how just having the presence of nature near you, like a plant in your apartment, or being able to see a tree outside your window, how that alone can impact you. So just listen to what Dr. Alter said about that research. And by the way, if you're in an apartment in a big urban environment and you don't have that option, even little trees, little plants that you have in the apartment, the sound of a little fountain that you have with running water, that stands in for that experience too, is just spend, say, five minutes a day

doing absolutely nothing but taking in, drinking in that natural environment, even if it's a tiny one in your apartment. If you can get out, all the better, but it's very important to do that, I think, as a sort of daily practice. I think that's so cool that these simple things can become a daily practice. That's why I'm so excited about this, because it's so cool that these simple things can become a daily practice.

That's why I'm so excited about this because it's so accessible. It's right in front of your face. And it's not just Dr. Alter who's doing this research. There's a study that I found from researchers in the UK where they looked at plants in your home and simply having plants in your home or near you can increase your concentration by up to 20%. So what does that mean? It means this, if you work from home, let's say you have a little desk at home

or a place where you're trying to get things done, researchers say put a plant on the desk or on the counter nearby you, why? They want it near you in a place where you're trying to focus. And the research shows that simply having that plant near you, like on your desk, near you where you're working, can boost your concentration by 20%. Now, when I read this, I was kind of like, why?

Why the hell would a plant boost my concentration? Well, the researchers dug into why, and they believe it's because plants improve air quality by reducing CO2 levels. And I want to explain why this matters when it comes to concentration and focus. So there is this really interesting study done at Harvard's T.H. Chan School of Public Health. Researchers did this massive study about productivity and focus at work, and they had people in six different countries. So this study included the UK, the US, China, India, Mexico, Thailand, and

they had people in work environments sit near air quality monitors. And the air quality monitors were detecting when the CO2 levels went higher. And when the CO2 levels would shoot higher, the researchers would make the folks at work perform tests that measure things like memory, how fast your brain is working, how well you can do certain tasks. Now check this out, this work gets really interesting.

This global study found that higher CO2 levels in an office has significant impact on an employee's cognitive functioning, including lowering your response time, interfering with your ability to focus, and it also affects your productivity. This is a very real thing. In fact, this is so real that when we first opened

our studios in Boston where we tape a lot of the expert interviews for this podcast, we started noticing that after we were in the studio and the experts and I were talking for 90 minutes, I could literally feel my energy leave my body. My focus was starting to decline, the room was stuffy and it wasn't the conversation. It was literally as if there was like some like gas being poured into the room. So we put in a CO2 monitor. Holy cow, simply by being in a room where we're doing a lot of talking because of the interviewing,

the CO2 levels were spiking. And that was impacting focus and brain processing. Isn't that crazy? So we had to take steps to improve the circulation in the room. We put in an air filter. We also started opening up windows in between interviews. And now that I've learned about this research, you better believe Mel Robbins is bringing in the plants and we are putting it in the studio because we clearly need help with the CO2 and so do you.

This is legit a really cool thing you can do for yourself. Put a plant on your desk, help with the CO2, and let's get that focus going. All right, you ready for the next piece of research? I mean, seriously, how much research is there about plants and flowers? Turns out a lot. This next one is about gardening. So I want to welcome back in all of you listeners who are my veggie garden lovers. Honestly, I got to give you some huge props. It's astonishing how much work a vegetable garden is. So I got to tip my hat to you because I do not have that in me. But it is so cool that you are into that. I want you to check out this research about gardening, whether you garden or

not, whether you like flowers, whether you like veggies, whether you don't garden at all. Because this research about gardening, it relates to whether you are growing vegetables, whether you're working in a flower garden, you could just be working in your yard, or you could be volunteering and helping at a local farm or helping do a project at the local elementary school. farm or helping do a project at the local elementary school. I mean, this is something that I do. I volunteer with a local farmer. I help this friend of mine, Annette. She has this flower farm called Fleur Farm.

And every spring, it's super cool, a bunch of women in the community, we all get together in the spring and in the fall, and we get our hands in the dirt because we're trying to help Annette get 50,000 dolly bulbs into the ground. And here's why getting your hands in the dirt matters. Whether you're volunteering to clean up a local park or you're helping a local farmer or you're getting your hands dirty in your own backyard. Wait till you hear about the connection between digging in the dirt and happiness. According to research, gardening boosts two feel-good chemicals in your brain, and the reason why is going to blow your freaking mind.

It boosts dopamine and serotonin. Now, I want you to stop and think about your own life, okay? When was the last time you had your hands in the dirt? Were you helping mom and dad plant something? I mean, I remember for me growing up, this is what we did every single weekend. I got my love of flowers and gardening from my parents. And Memorial Day in particular,

which is usually the end of May here in the United States, always marked the beginning of summer. It was like, boom, gardening season is on. And depending on where you live in the US or where you live in the world, you never want to plant any plants on the ground before the end of May, because the frost could come and kill them.

So end of May, Memorial Day, United States, Mel Robbins growing up in Western Michigan, we would load up into the Jeep Wagoneer and we would drive to the garden center and I would go with my mom and we would walk up and down the aisles and she would buy all the plants for her pots and all the plants that were annuals for her beds and we would spend all weekend long with our hands in the garden. It was one of my most favorite things to do with my mom and dad, that ritual of getting the plants, getting the beds ready for the season, getting them into the in the garden. It was one of my most favorite things to do with my mom and dad. That ritual of getting the plants, getting the beds ready for the season, getting them into the ground.

In fact, that's where it comes from. That's why I love this so much. And maybe you grew up doing this too. And even if you didn't, those experiences that you've had where your hands are in the ground, where you're picking something or you're digging something. It's primal. Like, this may be a little woo woo, but it's almost like you're getting in touch with your ancestors, right? Because it's how we evolved. And when you hear the research study

as to why dopamine and serotonin kicks in, it's gonna freak you out. Because the truth is there is a very real connection between you, your life, and this planet, this living, breathing planet that you live on. I mean, think about the last time you were digging in the dirt, right? You shoved the shovel in, you're turning it over. It's like an act of creation. It's powerful. You are

literally clearing space for something new to grow. I mean, it's so cool. I just love getting my hands in the dirt. And if you're a fellow gardener, I can feel it. You're like nodding. You're on your walk. You're like nodding along. People are walking past you going, what is that weird person doing? Nodding along with a big smile on my face. You're probably now going, I gotta go to the garden center this week. I gotta get my plant. I gotta go.

I gotta go. It begs the question though, how exactly does dirt make you release serotonin and dopamine? Well, researchers have an answer. Turns out the contact with the soil and a specific soil bacteria called mycobacterium

vacae triggers the release of serotonin in your brain. This is all according to research. Now serotonin is also what you've probably heard researchers talk about is the happy chemical and lack of serotonin in the brain causes depression in people. And here's something else that I found in my research. There's a release of dopamine in your brain when you harvest anything from your garden, whether it's fruits or vegetables or berries or even the flowers that you cut that you've grown.

You get a little drop of dopamine. Now, dopamine is tied to this reward center in the brain. It has to do with like craving and reward and drive. And it gets really interesting when we dig into the research because it explains why we all flocked to apple orchards in the fall, right? We all wanna pick apples. And right now where I live,

it's all about picking your own strawberries. Maybe it's picking your own blueberries or peaches where you are. And you know, I got to tell you something funny. My mom is really funny about the kind of pick your own farms because she grew up on a huge cattle and produce farm in upstate New York outside of Buffalo. For those of you in the Buffalo area, we're talking about Bippert's farms. That's my grandparents and my aunts and uncles. Say hello if you stop by. And so she grew up on a farm picking produce.

And so we'll drive past a farm where I am or when I visit her in Michigan, she's like, I give her a pick in that crap. I'm gonna pay and just pay for it in the basket. I'm not picking it anymore. I'm not gonna pay to pick. She's very funny about that kind of thing. You and I, we pay to pick.

But you're not going to believe why. Well, researchers have this theory that the response and this sort of like reward that you get, the satisfaction of plucking a berry off a branch, this response has evolved over nearly 200,000 years of hunter-gatherer society. Now stop and think about that, it makes sense, right? Like when your survival depended upon you finding food, of course, when you found food way back in the day, there was a flush, a reward of dopamine

released in the reward center of the brain, and it triggers this mild state of bliss or euphoria because, oh my God, I'm not going to die. I found the berries I was foraging for. You know, modern society, you and I feel that when we see a bag of potato chips, but our ancestors are like, oh my gosh, thank God. Holy cow, I found a potato. I'm not going to die.

The dopamine release can be triggered today by simply seeing fruit or a berry or smelling one, as well as the action of plucking the fruit. And here's a little like tidbit for you that really, really blew my mind. This same principle of seeing or picking a berry, you know, and getting that drop of dopamine, you're like, oh my God, I found the thing that's gonna keep me alive.

It's the exact same biological process that creates compulsive shopping disorder. Kind of crazy, right? Why? Well, cause you're picking things off the shelf. You're finding a deal. It's like the sad modern version of the hunter gatherer like mechanism,

rewarding for finding something. It's wild. Maybe that's why I'm a compulsive gardener because I'm constantly feeling rewarded by growing things. Yeah, I just think it's so fascinating, don't you, that all this stuff is right underneath your nose. And as I'm unpacking it and you look at the research and we explain it, that you just know it's true.

You know it's true that all the research and the science is underscoring that blooms erase the gloom that you may feel. I mean, literally, it is the most beautiful, simple and fabulous way to be happier and to feel better in your day-to-day life. So starting today, I really do want you to take this research and just apply it and see how you feel.

I want you to have fresh cut flowers in your house. Why? Because it's proven to make you feel happier. And when you do that for yourself, I know that you are going to feel like you're doing something nice for yourself. And that's a really great way to improve the relationship that you have with yourself, your sense of self-worth. Do it. And I do want you to either give some flowers or send some flowers to someone that you love.

As soon as you're done listening, think of one person, they're going through a hard time or you just miss them or they did something cool, and just drop some flowers by or send them something. It doesn't have to be fancy. It's just the thought and the card. And I do want you today to stop and spend a minute and do this moving meditation with me. Just gaze at the work of art that is a flower in bloom.

If you want to concentrate more, you now know the research. To be more productive, just put a plant on your desk. I mean, how simple is that? Something nice to look at. I just love that. is that? Something nice to look at. I just love that. It can sit right next to that single flower

that's blooming in the cup. They can be like your little friends sitting there just cheering you on, keeping you company, boosting your mood. And if you don't have plans this weekend, figure out how to get your hands on the dirt. Go help a farmer. Work in your garden.

Help your mom and dad out if you're lucky enough to still have them around. I mean, that's what I'm gonna do this weekend.. Help your mom and dad out if you're lucky enough to still have them around. I mean, that's what I'm going to do this weekend. I wish my mom and dad were living close by because I would go dig in the dirt with them. I'd go to the garden center with my mom. But on Sunday, I'm going to be with my friend Annette, and I'm going to be getting my hands in the dirt. And come September, I am going to feel the reward because my house is going to be filled with fresh-cut dahlias from those fields and

Even the thought of it just puts a huge smile on my face and In case no one else tells you I want to tell you that I love you and I believe in you and I believe in your ability to create a better life, a more meaningful life. And you know, I think oftentimes we think that that means the big stuff. And this research really proves that a better life is right under your nose. Seriously, like, it is possible for you to feel better in your life today. It is possible for you to feel a little bit more joy and beauty in your life today. Because there are simple things like fresh cut flowers and getting your hands in the

dirt or sending something to somebody that you love that actually bring joy into your life right now. And you deserve that, so go do it. Alrighty, I'll talk to you in a few days. Yeah, Amy's doing it everybody. Like I would have like diarrhea in my pants if I were in charge of making sure that was happening. All right, we ready? All right, here we go. And I love, hold on a, okay, here we go. Oh, okay, gotcha, okay. Great, okay, gotcha, all right, I'll do that. You ready?

Here we go. That was great. Great episode. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and one more thing. And no, this is not a blooper.

This is the legal language. You know what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it?

Good. I'll see you in the next episode.