The Mel Robbins Podcast - Train Your Mind: How & Why the Science of Synchronicity Can Improve Your Life

Episode Date: December 8, 2022

Have you ever had such a powerful coincidence happen in your life that you think… This must be a sign. The person sitting next to you at an event turns out to be part of the team you’re interviewing with next week. There is a hummingbird outside your apartment window on move-in day, and your grandmother always said she’d come back as one. You’re sitting in your favorite coffee shop, thinking of someone you haven’t seen in a long time, and right at that moment, they text you. You can’t explain how these things happen, but when they do, they give you goosebumps and make you feel just a little bit more confident and less alone. I personally love it when this happens. And I’m always on the lookout for signs that my life is moving in the right direction. Well, what if I told you that you can create more moments like this? That’s what we’re talking about today. These moments have a name: they’re called “synchronicities.” And my guest today is Dr. Tom Myers, a professor who researched and wrote his entire Ph.D. dissertation on the subject. You’re about to learn simple steps that will train your brain to create more of these impactful synchronicities in your own life, and three powerful reasons why it’s important that you do so. Today, you and I are hanging out at the intersection of psychology, science, and spirituality. Wouldn’t it be nice if your life had more of these magical moments? Looking for signs that you’re on the right path is not some cheesy thing to do; it’s yet another way you can get intentional about training your brain to help you experience life in a whole new way. I’ll also share a few stories from my life that are not only examples of synchronicity, but they will also give you goosebumps. I can’t wait to hear your “goosebump” stories, and I hope what you learn from our conversation today will teach you how to create more of them. Xo Mel  I talk more about synchronicity, including a powerful story from my life and how to create more of them, in my New York Times bestselling book The High 5 Habit. For complete show notes, including links to every research study mentioned, see the episode page at melrobbins.com/podcast

Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast. Have you ever had something random happen in your life that is so incredible? It gives you goosebumps. You cannot explain it, but you know this is not just a coincidence. This was meant to happen. Like that moment when you're thinking about somebody and then suddenly they call you or text you, strange. Or have you ever found a $20 bill in a parking lot? And you needed it because you forgot your wallet at home?

Or how about this one? I love it when this happens. You sit down next to a stranger on a train or an airplane and you end up discovering some magical connection. Holy cow, they work at the company where you're about to interview for your dream job. I mean, talk about meant to be. Or you move into a brand new apartment and you look out the window and there's like a

bazillion hummingbirds and you know this is the right apartment for you. Because your grandmother died several years ago, and she always said she was gonna come back as a hummingbird, and there she is as a sign. Goose bumps. Or how about a moment? I had a moment like this once, where I was in a children's hospital with our son Oakley.

He was six days old, and he was about to be wheeled into emergency surgery. And I looked up and there on the wall was a Winnie the Pooh mural. My husband's name is Christopher Robbins. I got goose bumps and I knew he'd be okay. Or maybe you've had a goose bump moment that was really profound. And you come back to it over and over again. Like the time you were too sick to go to that party, which meant

you weren't in that car that crashed on the way home. What I'm talking about are moments that feel like they were meant to happen. You might not be able to explain them, but you just know it was meant to be. It gives you goosebumps. It's like a little wink from the universe or God or whatever you believe in, that there is, in fact, this positive force that has your back. Well, what have I told you? You could learn how to encounter more of these right time at the right place type of moments in your life. In fact, my guest today believes that every human being, yes you, has a superpower. And that superpower is that you can learn how to create more magic, more moments that

give you goosebumps. In fact, there's a word for these moments that can't be explained. Synchronicity. We're going to talk about the topic of synchronicity today, what synchronicity is, and how to create more synchronicity in your life. And there are three reasons why this matters. Reason number one, synchronicity will create more meaning and purpose in your life, and it's a positive ripple effect that happens, because the

more meaning that you can feel and spot the more synchronicities you will encounter. Researchers have a word for it. That's how powerful this positive ripple effect is. They call it an upward spiral. And today, I want to teach you how to create one in your life. Second reason why this is important is because when you can start to spot synchronicities and signs, it will lessen your feelings of anxiety. It will give you a greater sense of control, and it will make you feel less alone. It's almost like you feel like the universe or the wind, it's at your back, things are flowing,

that you're gonna make it. And I love that feeling and I wanna teach you how to have it. And finally, the third reason why synchronicity matters is because based on the research, when you get serious about the science of synchronicity, you will be more resilient. And that means you can handle adversity and challenges better than you do right now. And that's really important. You want to know why? Because when you're

resilient, when you use synchronicity and signs to tap into that resilience inside you, it's going to encourage you to keep going. And that's going to make you more successful when you believe that you can figure these things out because you can. There is more than meets the eye in this conversation. This is the intersection of psychology, quantum physics, and spirituality. In fact, this year's Nobel Prize for Physics was awarded to three physicists for their work in researching how particles that are light years apart still influence one another. how particles that are light years apart still influence one another. And our expert today is going to convince you that you thinking about a friend is what influences your friend to call you out of the blue.

You can learn to have your internal thoughts influence your external reality and we're going to be bringing simple takeaways and the science to prove it to you. I am so excited to introduce you to Dr. Tom Myers, who is an expert on synchronicity. His entire PhD dissertation was on the subject of synchronicity. He's been a professor and researcher for years, and today he is going to teach you everything that you need to know. Dr. Myers is going to break this topic down step by step so that you not only understand it, but more importantly, you can start to tap into the power and magic of synchronicity in your life because he believes and knows that everybody, including you, has this superpower.

And today, he's going to teach you how to tap into it. Dr. Myers, thank you so much for being here. Great, nice to be here, Mel. Can we just start with the basics? I realize you got a PhD in this, but I wanna start at the kindergarten level. What is synchronicity? Yeah, synchronicity is that point

where you have a holy shit moment, right? Like, it is a moment where you step back, like, wait a minute, what just happened? How am I here at this place at this time when this is happening in a way that is coming together and it's communicating a way that, wow, it's beyond me. It's created goosebumps, it's created this feeling of, wow, there's something out there. What I find fascinating about your research and the workshops you teach around the world

on synchronicity is that you believe that absolutely every human being, there are now eight billion of us that we have a superpower and that we can tap into those holy shit moments more in our life. Yeah. And you hit it right. I call it a superpower. Why do physicists care so much about synchronicity? So back in 1928 when Carl Jung started to think about synchronicity and again, he was self-self conscious that he held off until the early 50s. Wow. Where he met a physicist by the name of Wolfgang Pauli, who had just won the Nobel prize in physics in 1945, nominated by Albert Einstein. So when Pauli and Jung got together, Pauli, the physicist,

said, no, no, no, you're onto something here. There is a whole physical world of an answer using quantum physics, quantum mechanics to explain how this comes together, how the material world can match what you're thinking about. Basically, synchronicity, you can think about it this way, that two people or objects that are on other sides of the world or the universe can impact each other and have a energetic connection and

That's what we're talking about. Yes. It's quantum entanglement. One of the things that I find fascinating about this Because this could easily be dismissed. Oh, that's a holy shit moment. Oh, that's woo-woo. I'm not listening to this is that there's hard science about synchronicity that in your research Carl Jung started looking into synchronicities way back in the day, then physicist got involved. I find it fascinating that the Nobel Prize in physics people was given to somebody who studied quantum entanglement, which is basically about synchronicity and how particles light years away

can impact one another, that there are these connections that we can't see. Yeah. So you're basically teaching people around the world that you using principles of physics and synchronicity, which has been research from the century, that you can teach yourself how to get intentional about your thoughts and your hopes and your dreams. You can train yourself to start to spot signs in the outside world that match your internal thoughts, hopes, and dreams.

Whoa. My focus is how do we tap into how do we become aware of the synchronicities and these events and these things coming together in time? How do we become aware of that and how do we take advantage of that? Helps to confirm we're on the right path. All right, so Tom, what are the three ways that you know you're having a holy shit? This is synchronicity moment.

Yeah, well, it's, it, things come up from out of the blue. Okay. It's as, as you'd call it, a causal, meaning it was nothing that you put into action. Just as I'm thinking about my friend, I look down at my phone and there's his text or he calls me or I run into him in the grocery store. It's like, whoa, that is, that's a holy crap moment, right? Got it. Second part of synchronous city, it is meaningful. It has an impactful meaning to you. It may not be to anyone

else, but personally, this circumstance, this coming together in time is meaningful. Got it, okay. And it's at the right time. It's like, I needed this today. This is the exact information that has come to me today in this moment, in this second, this is exactly what I needed. Got it. So it's a holy cow moment. If it's out of the blue, it has meaning that creates the holy shit. And then the timing is like kind of crazy.

So Dr. Myers, can you tell me the difference between a coincidence and a synchronicity? Yeah, coincidence. I just ran into this person. Okay, coincidence. I just ran into this person. Okay, great. But did it have a feeling of something deeper, meaningful, that almost a spiritual feel to it? Like, how in the heck this have ever happened at this right place at the right time? So a coincidence you can explain away about a synchronicity has something more magical that you can't put

your finger in. Yeah, here's an example of a coincidence for me, okay? So I'm mowing my lawn and low and behold, a blue balloon just happens to float down and land on me. Okay. Okay. So I'm thinking, okay, what's the meaning of this? What is this about?

Is there something there? Is there a synchronicity moment that I'm going to okay, what's the meaning of this? What is this about? Is there something there? Is there a synchronicity moment that I'm gonna be able, you know, I thought it was weird, you know, to be way out in the country and this blue balloon happened chance just kind of float over and land on me, right? But thought about it thought about it. It's like no, it was just a freaky coincidence. There's probably a birthday party down the road and it blew over and it landed on me. I can't read into this anymore than that. It's a coincidence. Okay, can I ask you a question though? Yes.

But if you were the kind of person whose father loved blue balloons and that blue balloon had incredible meaning for you and maybe it was even like your dad's birthday today. If that had happened and the blue balloon came down landed on you on your dad's birthday, he's died. It was his favorite color. He loved balloons. That's absolutely. All of a sudden there's a sign because these events have all come together in time. The birthday, dad's death, loves blue. It means

something to me. Got it. So it's more like that it elicits some sort of wonder or goosebumps or sense that this is happening for a reason. There's a message in this. Do you have an example in your own life of another synchronicity moment? Yeah. Okay. So let's go back to 1990 91 and my former life. I was a ski racing coach So in the summertime we would go to Europe and we would train in the glaciers of Switzerland. Okay. I meet this other coach From Massachusetts. I'm in Vermont. We start riding up the T-bar. Talk. Oh, this is great. Tell me about your you know, your life Think I'll say I'm a mom lives in New York and my dad unfortunately was killed in a glider accident. A sail playing glider accident, right?

Very rare. I say, wait a minute, I know the story. So all of a sudden I said, did this happen? Was this the accident that happened in Warren, Vermont? And the poor guy was like, yeah, I had never even heard that story before how my dad died. How do you know this? Well, just happens. My father and his father were best friends.

What? Yeah. My dad was a ski patrol. It's no ridge in Turin, New York. And his dad Roger was a ski instructor. And they were best buddies, right? So here we are skiing and Switzerland together. My dad and his dad are best friends skiing together in the late 50s, right?

Wow, this is like mind-blowing. Oh my God, how can this happen, right? Whoa. Okay, I have a crazy story. You've probably taught me. I don. Okay. I have a crazy story. You can probably talk to me. I don't know. I have a crazy story.

So when I was a sophomore at Dartmouth, I had been in a relationship for over a year with this amazing, amazing guy. And just absolutely loved him. I really regret that he met me when I was a complete disaster. I had not yet discovered that I had trauma and I was not diagnosed with anxiety yet and so he got the worst of Mel Schnaieberger,

which was my maiden name. But anyway, in the winter of that year, his dad died very tragically. And because his father had died very tragically as a result of profound depression, it came into question whether or not how in his sister we're going to be able to stay in college. And I'll never forget that summer, we were walking across campus because sophomore year at Dartmouth everybody stays on campus for sophomore summer. And somebody came running out to meet us and said

the dean wants to talk to you. And it turns out that an anonymous benefactor had come forward and was paying his tuition and housing and his sister's tuition and housing. So fast forward, that would have been 1988, fast forward. It's now probably 1995. How and I broke up Go on totally different directions. I meet my now husband Christopher Robbins and his best friend is visiting and so his best friend is named Ramy and He's now Kendall's godfather just incredible friend of ours and he invites us to come out to his parents house in Princeton, New Jersey for the weekend and and he invites us to come out to his parents' house in Princeton, New Jersey for the weekend.

And so we're sitting there at Ramey's parents' house and I'm meeting my husband's best friends from high school and we're talking and, oh, you went to Dartmouth, oh, do you know how you, and I'm like, do I know him? I've dated him. And so all of a sudden, Ramey's mom nudged the dad and says, I think you should tell her. It was Ramey's parents who had been the anonymous donors because Ramey's father and

house father had worked together when they both lived in Indiana. And so all the stars came and I started obviously sobbing and so did they and you know that was this incredible just divine moment in my life. Well yeah it's powerful. As you said the divine that divine piece there's a huge universe that communicates through people and through relationships and through sign symbols dreams that is communicating to us and it has this feeling of oh my gosh, we're Connected to it. So

coincidence Absolutely not. Yeah, it's meant meant to be there. Yeah. Oh, look at that I just looked at my watch Dr. Myers and it says two two two Yeah, it's meant to be there. Yeah, oh, look at that. I just looked at my watch, Dr. Myers, and it says, 2, 2, 2. I'm going to call that a sign that it's time to go to break. We'll be right back. Dr. Myers, I'm a big believer in seeing signs. In your research on synchronicity, can you give us examples of signs that people can

use around synchronicity? Yeah, so there are things that speak to us that have an emotional pull. Okay. Like we talked about, there could be numbers. There are things that speak to us that have an emotional pull. Like we talked about, there could be numbers. Seeing 11, 11 or seeing the threes that can communicate to us. That at that moment, an emotional time, when you need the answer, it can come to you. So examples too of seeing a heart when you're feeling down.

In all of a sudden, you see a heart in the sky in the clouds. This is communicating to me. This is what I need right now. Or a lyric. You have a certain emotion of being happy or you have this anger or whatever that might be. At that moment on the radio or, you know, in your speaker, it plays this lyric that you need to hear.

That is changing the perspective. That's what I needed at that point. How can that happen in the world where things come together in time? It's that synchronous moment. So what about animals? Because I often hear people say, my mom said, she'd come to me as a butterfly.

I see a red tail hawk that flies around her property up here and I often think that it's either Chris's dad or, you know, like my grandmother is that also an example of it, but it's got to have the meaning attached. Yeah, you've got to have that meaning of, you know, again, as an animal or a spirit animal, if you will, right? That, that is that person embodied in that animal. And they're communicating to me. What are the benefits of bringing synchronicity in your life? It's confirming your value. It's confirming that you are on the right path. So how does every human being on the planet have

this superpower of synchronicity awareness? What is that? Yeah. So think about it this way. We are all connected. Okay. All human beings are connected somehow. All matters in life. Again, physical, human nature is connected. So is the part of another physics piece of the wave particle duality. Okay. That particles and waves can act like each other. They can take on different forms. I'm getting too far into the scientific piece here, but just know that we are particles and made up of particles as matter

and that there are other particles that are all made up of similar matter, right? Okay. That through the entanglement piece of quantum entanglement that they are drawn together, there's a communication between them that they can communicate together. That there's this connection between particles that you literally are not visible to the eye, but have this incredible impact on other particles that are light years away. And that's the physics of this. Okay, so let me see if I can give you back with an example what you're

talking about. Have you ever gone into, I don't know, like a store or a cafe? And there's a person that's in a really bad mood in front of you in line. And their negative mood sends waves. Like you can feel the negative energetic wave from a person like that. And when that wave of negativity hits you, the particles in your body literally shift and are impacted by that wave.

It's a good, it's a nice way to say that. Yeah. So we are entangled with each other. We are connected with each other. It's a vibration. You're giving this off. We're picking that up among other signals. Okay. And you are saying that it goes even deeper than that because I think we can all wrap our brains around the fact that other people's energy and moods and their positive or negative vibes completely can impact you. But you're actually saying something even more powerful, which is you can impact somebody halfway around the world, that there are connections between you and what you're thinking and what somebody else halfway around the world might do.

So in a lot of my workshops I've done with synchronicity. Yes. I will begin by saying, okay, find someone you don't know and I'm going to give you, I'm timing this three minutes, three minutes and find a deep connection that you both share. Not like, oh, you like pizza too? Oh, I like pizza. I like going to movies. I'm not think superficial. It doesn't take long to find this deep connection that is probably mind blowing, but like, oh my gosh, my brother-in-law knows so and so,

and so there is a connection. We were at the same place at the same time, the same concert, whatever that might have been, but there are ways that, again, I say- Maybe there's a specific example for me of workshops. I was in East France doing a workshop. Two very analytical engineers sitting next to each other.

Okay, give you three minutes, find a connection. They both figured out and learned that they had taught at the same university, University Montana, a year apart. They both worked for the same people and they were in the same office. What? Yeah. Wow. I think if that happened to me, you'd immediately think to yourself, well, this

has happened for a reason. So are those moments where you say this is happening for a reason? Is that an example of a synchronicity awareness? Yeah. Now, why does this matter? What is the importance of anybody tapping into this sort of magical power of feeling, the goosebumps and the meaning in these synchronicity moments? Yeah.

It's back to that superpower that we can tap into this and understand that the world is connected. So first, beginning with what are your thoughts and what are your dreams and what are your visions, putting it out there in the universe, and then notice the connections that start to happen. Okay, so I'm now starting to have like all sorts of popcorn popping in my mind. Yeah, yeah. And so let me see if I can explain what's happening in my mind. So I do talk a lot about how important it is for you to get serious about the dreams that

you hold in your heart. What I'm now getting for the first time about synchronicity is that synchronicity, the way I've always experienced it in my life, is like this kind of magical moment, okay? Where you're right, you're thinking about a friend or somebody that you love and they all have a sudden call you out of the blue and you get goosebumps.

Or I have another moment that I think about a lot where we had a very, very close friend die very tragically. And it was just absolutely horrible. He was like, he was a super close friend of ours and he was basically like our daughter's second father. A year to the date of his death at the exact time that he died. I was driving from a soccer match where our daughters had been playing and he and my husband had been their soccer coaches and had been pouring rain. And so we pull into the town and as I come around the corner, the town that we all lived in,

the rain suddenly stops and the sky is part and there is a double rain boat. The biggest, brightest, double rain boat I have ever seen and I look at the time and it was 527 and it was 527. And it was the exact time of his death. And I had to pull the car over. I actually pulled the car over. I had to take a breath because it just took my breath away. And I knew it was Fred. I knew he was there. And I took my camera out.

I took a photo of the moment. And that was one of those moments for me, where there was this incredible meaning to that moment, because of course I had been thinking about them all day. Everybody had, because it had been the year anniversary. And you're saying that synchronicity awareness goes beyond just recognizing those moments when they happen, that you can teach yourself how to create more of them from real. Exactly.

It is one tool in those moments to go, this is happening for a reason, and actually claim that something magical is starting to happen. Yep. And so I'm thinking about this story and dissecting every little piece of it because the synchronicity of symbols, signs and symbols of the rainbows, the time, again, the exact time, that feeling that you had.

You took the picture to remember that. So you see the story and things start to fall together in time. It's communicating something to you. So people, as you know how powerful that feels. Beyond, like it just makes me, when I have a synchronicity moment, it is almost like reassuring

that there's magic or something larger happening than just the mundane day to day that we all get sucked into. Is this related in some way to being able to trust your gut? Yeah. How so? So, throughout my research, I continually got this message from people, and it is so true.

It just feels right. You feel that you're going in the right direction. Over and over again, I use the symbol of green lights. Okay. Explain what does that mean. So you may be trying in your life, going in this direction, it's just not working. Okay. Everywhere you go, you're getting a red light. Something is just turning you and communicating to you in your gut that you know you're probably on the wrong path. Fabulous. How do you start to tap into

this power inside of us to take our internal life and have it now match what our external experiences. Yeah. I want to become better at the synchronicity awareness. I want this in my life. And so I'm a real like believer in the power of this. I've experienced it. And what I'm on a mission though is to demystify these things and the research so that even somebody that's analytical, because I find that a lot of people who get

stuck, myself included, tend to get very right about how stuck they are, and very analytical about their stuckness. So we're going to take a short break. And when we come back, Dr. Myers is going to help us tap into synchronicity. All right, welcome back everybody. Let's jump back in. Dr. Myers, I think we all buy the fact that we're energetically connected, and there are these incredible links between us, between our thoughts and the things that we want to see come true in the world, and we have to be willing to see them. But if we've proven that point, that you have the ability to find these really meaningful connections in your life, and that you have the ability to turn synchronicity into a tool. So you experience more goosebumps moments and so that your internal world starts to get reflected in the world that you see around you.

How do you start to tap into this? Like what's step number one? So the really cool thing is once you start down this path and once you start to just see synchronicity and becomes abundant, It's around you at every point. You see it everywhere. And here are some action-belidings, it's quieting the mind. Notice patterns. So in my research, synchronicity comes in threes or fours or five, but there's a pattern. There is an interconnecting event that links to one another, and each one

can be totally separate, but they all have a meaning of a connection. It sounds like a huge part of this, Dr. Myers, is being willing to label these moments as this is happening for a reason. Yeah. That there's this courage or this confidence that you need to start to cultivate, that life is happening for you. And I like to say there are signs all around you if you're awake enough to see them. And those signs get bigger and brighter and louder if you start calling them out and thanking them. Like we recently moved here to Southern Vermont and this podcast I've launched

in partnership with Stitcher and SXM Media, they do all the ad sales for it. And so I was in New York and I met one of the executives at SXM media and she's freaking amazing and we just handed off immediately. She's like, so where do you live? And I tell her, she's like, oh my god, my best friend just moved there from Palm Springs. And now he and his husband are like great friends of ours. And so for me, that's a synchronicity moment. It's not a coincidence that they moved here. I meant to know these two.

I meant to know Josh and David right now at this moment in my life. There's a reason. Yes, but I think the magic is in calling it out and being willing to believe that there's a reason. That's kind of what I'm getting from this. To tap into this power, you have to be open that the power exists, and you've got to be brave enough

to call it when it's happening. Because that's where the magic comes in is in noticing the goosebumps, calling out the connection, believing that there is this force for good that is trying to guide you in the right direction and you got to wake your ass up and start to pay attention to it. And trust it. And trust it. Yeah.

And this is the spiritual connection in the universe and the larger universe, the source or your higher self. Mm-hmm. Well, I think for people that don't believe in a higher power, I think when it comes to common sense, you've experienced moments in your life where your life is aligned with your values, your purpose, the right energy, things get into a flow state,

you have experienced moments like that in your life. And you've also experienced moments in your life where there's tremendous resistance and friction and frustration and everything feels like a grind and like you're just, it's harder than it needs and you're just, one of our daughters is in a job like that right now where she just, oh, it just, it, and so you can also think about this in terms of alignment. When your life is out of alignment, you can feel it. You can feel that you're surrounded by the wrong people or you're in the wrong relationship or at the wrong job.

And then there are those moments where things are aligned with who you are as a person and what that tells me when somebody's in alignment in their decisions and their actions, is that they are kind of tapped into this synchronicity because what they're feeling on the inside is matching the experience on the outside. And so I think whether you come at this from physics or common sense or you come at it from spirituality,

there is no denying that we have all experienced these moments that you can't quite explain. These moments where you know there is something magic that is existing here. Something crazy. Like even on this podcast, we hired our executive producer Andrea and it wasn't until she came on and she had been, you know, producing massive shows for like Gail King and Andy Cohen and had been it serious for a very long time, super

experienced woman that we realized, oh my God, we worked together 15 years ago. When she got her first job in radio, I had this tiny little colon show, and she worked on it. And now here we are 15 years later, launching this together, and she's running the whole thing.

And so to me, that was a synchronicity moment because there is something that is meant to be happening happening. And for me personally, when I tap into that belief that faith, if you will, whether it's a higher power or energy or alignment or physics, that makes me more confident. It's like creating your own mile markers on the path of life. That every single time I see one of those, I'm like, okay, I get it, I'm on the right path. So do you think synchronicity moments are there because they are lighting the path and signaling what direction you should head in. It's almost like a reward from the universe or from the future you that you're on the

right path. Yeah, it is, as you say, a guidepost for where intuitively where you should go. Amazing. Well, Dr. Myers, thank you so much for being here. Thank you, Mel. It's been a pleasure to be here and talk to you. Awesome. You know, one of the reasons why I love talking to experts

and digging into the science is, I think you and I know that life is filled with goosebumps moments, that there are these cool things that happen and that we wish it would happen more often. But I personally love knowing that there's research to back it up, that it's not just this woo woo thing that happens for some people and not others,

but that this is truly a tool that you can learn to tap into, into your life. And so what I wanna focus on now that we've gotten some of the foundational stuff from Dr. Myers, is I wanna focus on two simple tools that I use that has vastly increased the number of synchronicity moments and my synchronicity awareness and I want you to try these two tools. And before I tell them to you, I got to just remind you of why this matters. There is profound research, not just from Dr. Myers, I mean profound research

from psychologists and scientists around the world. And based on the research from, I'm just going to tell you about three different psychologists and researchers whose work has validated why synchronicity, why luck, why believing in these signs matters. So there's a UK researcher by the name of Dr. Richard Weissman. He studies luck, in fact he is the leading research on the topic. And he has specific actions and habits that you can use to create more luck and more synchronicity in your life. There's also Dr. Brightman, who is a Yale and Stanford educated medical doctor. He is now a professor at the University of Virginia. He's the creator of something called the Coincidence Project. He has been researching Coincidence Synchronicity forever. So much so, he even has a scale that you can use to measure whether or not something is a coincidence or it's bigger. And finally, Dr. Barbara Fredrickson at the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill, one of the most highly cited scholars in the history of psychology, her research as well confirms that when you truly create a mindset where you

believe in these signs, you believe in these goosebumps moments, you believe that these are guideposts leading you in the right direction. There are all these benefits, one of which is yes, you will create more meaning and purpose in your life. You will feel that thing called an upward spiral. And I have certainly felt this, and I'm going to explain in just a minute what I'm talking about. Number two, when you create synchronicity awareness, it will lessen your anxiety and stress.

It just gives you a greater sense of control every time you have one of these moments. And third, you will be more resilient. If you are willing to start calling this stuff out when it happens, to label it as a sign, to label these goosebumps moments, it will keep you moving forward. It'll keep you pushing through the challenges. And that's why this is so important. I've been experiencing this in my life more and more and more. So what Dr. Meyer said, that the more that you fire up your Synchronicity awareness the more you're going to experience it in life

This is what I am experiencing on almost a daily basis at this point in fact just a couple days ago I was flying from Los Angeles and connecting through Chicago and in the course of a 15 minute walk from one gate to another Three of you stopped me. That's right. Three listeners to this podcast stopped me randomly on my walk from one gate to another in a 15 minute span. And you know what? Every time one of you stops me.

For me, it is a synchronicity moment. It is confirmation that the stuff that I'm doing is making a difference. It creates meaning. Every time I bump into somebody, I get goosebumps, and I literally feel this upward spiral. I feel this greater sense that I have control over what I'm working on right now, where my life is headed, and every one of you, every time I bump into somebody, you know what you say? I was meant to see you today. And I believe that.

I believe that. There was a couple that I bumped into that had just been the weekend, having a date weekend in Chicago. And Colleen, hi, I'm talking to you. And Colleen's husband has been an attorney for the army for years, and he's got two years left. And he had just told his wife on their trip to Chicago that when he retires

from the army, he wants to do something else, but he doesn't know what. And do you know he then bumps into Mel Robbins, who he's been listening to? I'd call that a sign that not only should he do something else, but over the course of the next two years, he's going to figure that out by listening to the Mel Robbins podcast. And that, to me, that is a goose bump moment. That is a sign that gives you optimism. It gives you hope. It makes you keep going. Now, let me say one other thing. The reason why this is so important is because it also is programming a mindset. And I'm going to tell you right now, I guarantee you, you're using synchronicity in the negative.

I bet that you are like I used to be where you scan the world around you. And you know what, you see, you see signs, but they're negative signs. Reasons why it's not going to work out for you. Reasons why you shouldn't keep going. Reasons why the world is stacked against you. I am telling you, that's good news. You want to know why? If you can see negative signs, my friend, you can flip that and you can start looking

for the positive signs. And when you start identifying positive signs, reasons to believe that things are working out for you. If you can direct your mind at that, I promise you, things will work out. When you can start focusing your attention, this synchronicity awareness, the superpower inside of you, and you can aim it towards scanning the world for reasons to keep going, you, my friend, will keep going. And so now let me give you the two tools, because these two tools matter.

Simple things that I have been doing for years, I have taught them to hundreds of thousands of people, these simple tools work, and I want you to try them. And so one of the best places to start is tool number one. And that is allow yourself to want things. Get clear about what's on the road ahead, just like I bumped into that couple. And the husband is clear that on the road ahead,

two years from now, when he retires from the army, he wants to begin a whole new chapter. Once you are clear about what you want, about the kind of person you want to be, what you want to see on the road of life, mile markers down the road. Guess what? You can fire up your synchronicity awareness to help you start spotting signs.

That thing that you want in the future is in fact common for you. And one of the best places to start is by adding a simple habit to your morning routine or your evening routine that is going to help you get clear. It's going to help you claim these things that you desire. It's going to help that person that you want to become in the future to come into clear or focus. And so how do you do that? Simple. Every day you're just going to write down five things that you want, that's it. And if you'd like help with this habit, you wanna make this a habit to get clear about

who you are becoming, what's on the road of life, what you want, I got you, just go to melrawons.com, slash dream big. And I've got a sheet that thousands of you have already downloaded, you're using it in order to become clear about what you want. Once you're clear about these things that you want, Synchronicity doesn't become random.

You are firing up your awareness so that your internal thoughts, the things that you desire, will start to match the signs and the things that happen on the outside. That's how you do this. Because this all begins with what's inside your mind. And that brings me to tool number two. Tool number two is look for hearts. Don't worry, I'm going to explain this to you because I wrote about this tool extensively in my book The High Five Habit. And I've been doing this for years. It is a daily habit, and I didn't realize until recently that looking for hearts is an example of training your brain for synchronicity.

The assignment is very simple. Today, when you're done listening to this podcast, I want you to look around and just find the symbol of a heart naturally occurring anywhere. It could be the shape of a cloud, it could be a heart on the top of your coffee, it could be a stain on the floor of the garage, it could be a leaf, honestly, it could be absolutely anything that you spot naturally occurring somewhere in the world during your day in the shape of a heart.

And, you know, the thing that's interesting about this exercise, find a heart, is that once you start doing it, you're gonna see them everywhere, which is evidence that by simply looking for hearts occurring in the natural world, you are reprogramming your mind. In fact, last night, I noticed somebody tagged me online and she was riding Peloton,. And as she's riding Palatine, she looked up

and in front of her, beyond the screen, was a bookcase. And up on the bookcase was a vase. And somehow coming through the window, the sunlight had made the perfect shape of a heart on that vase. And she called it out. And so when you look around today, whether it's a leaf or a spot, my dog has, I realized, after we got our puppy, he has a spot on his nose that is a heart. I'm like, if that's not synchronicity, like that, like this is the dog that's meant for me, and when you see the heart, I want you to just for a second, open your mind and your heart to this kind of cheesy notion that

will change your life, and tell yourself that that heart was placed there for you to find. Because when you allow yourself to kind of experience life as a gigantic scavenger hunt, that every day there are clues all around you. Clues that tell you we're on the right path or the wrong path clues that are there to help you feel more confident and full of faith that you're heading in the right direction, that things are going to get better, that you're meant for more. When you can turn your life into a giant scavenger hunt, it is the most incredible thing

in the world. And looking for hearts or seeing angel numbers or any other sign that might make you feel a little empowered. This isn't some cheesy thing to do. Not only is there neuroscience around how you're reprogramming the filter in your brain when you intentionally fire up your awareness and you look for signs, but I think something really, really important is happening too. Seeing signs looking for meaning and synchronicities, it provides guardrails. And these guardrails, they keep you going. They make you feel less alone.

And right now, you may feel really alone, but I want you to know you're not. You can use this heart exercise as a way to start to see synchronicity. We're dealing with an epidemic of loneliness, and it's impacting everybody. So whether you're flying high right now and you need to look for signs and synchronicities in order to land the biggest deal of your life, or you need to look for signs and synchronicities just to make it through another day, this can help. The truth is synchronicity, signs, it can help you believe again.

In fact, as we were just wrapping up the recording of this episode, an email came in, I kid you not at 414, and I just happened to glance at it as we were literally about to go, okay, episode's done on synchronicities, Aliza, who's a listener to this podcast, wrote in to the website for the form for the podcast. And here's what it said, I don't want anything Mel. I just want you to know that I was literally on the verge of ending my life. And then I met you, my new friend.

You are the one human on the planet right now who was able to keep me on this earth, and you don't even know me. Thank you. Also, I finally found one heart. I've been looking for days. It's a piece of coral. Thank you. Also, I finally found one heart. I've been looking for days. It's a piece of coral. And I love you for telling me to look for hearts.

Again, I don't want anything, just to say thank you for saving my life. This email to me was synchronicity. It came in at exactly the right time. It has extraordinary meaning for me, because something felt missing from the episode. And what was missing was this synchronicity, something profound to show you, that these simple things that I'm telling you work actually do, that sometimes all you need is to see a piece of coral in the shape of a heart, and tell yourself that it was put there for you to remind you that, yes, you are loved.

And yes, you have a life that is worth living. And yes, you have the strength and the courage to get through whatever it is that you're facing. And that the synchronicities and the signs are all around you that you have a big and beautiful life that is waiting for you. So, Eliza, thank you. And keep looking for hearts because now that you have found one piece of coral, that particular activating system in your brain, that filter that helps you spot synchronicities? Guess what? You just programmed it today. And now it's going to

help you see even more. Thank you for taking the time to write in. And God, I just love this because what it shows is that when you tap into the science of synchronicity, you're not only training your brain for miracles. You're actually bringing a tool into your life that is an act of self-love, self-support, self-confidence, self-resilience. Talk about a superpower. Amazing. And I can't wait to hear all the other stories of synchronicity that come rolling through, so please go to MelRobins.com

and on the topic form, share your stories about synchronicity. Tell us about the hearts that you're seeing, or better yet, post a photo of yourself with one and tag us so we can repost you and cheer you forward. I can't wait to see what synchronicities show up today. And I can't wait to hear what you do with this episode too. So, in case nobody else tells you, I want to tell you that I love you, I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to create a better life,

and to fill it with more of these Goosepop moments. Now go get out there and live it today, and I'll talk to you in a couple days. you