The Menstruality Podcast - 195. Part Two: How Cycle Awareness Helps you to Manage your Energy (Q+A w/ Alexandra & Sjanie)

Episode Date: April 24, 2025

Today we’re in conversation with the brilliant community gathered around this work and podcast in our part two episode about how to work with menstrual cycle awareness as our own in-built energy management system. This conversation is for you if you struggle to follow the impulses of your cycle around the modern-life juggle of responsibilities, or if you’re dealing with low energy levels and you’re not sure why. It’s also for you if you’re feeling good, but want tips to work with your cycle to enahcen your vitality and feel even better.It’s for you if you’re new to cycle awareness - it will help you get set-up with the foundations for setting up your cyclical rhythm of sustainability. And it’s also for you if you’ve been practising for a good while as we get into many of the nuances of the practice, including how to get the limitations of your inner seasons working for you, how to navigate your energy through your crossover days in between the seasons, and how to set cyclical boundaries.  We explore:How to do a ‘movement’ cycle check-in to get an honest, unfiltered information, directly from your body about how your energy levels are on any given day (without your mind getting involved telling you all the things you should be feeling and doing).The core truth when it comes to managing your energy with cycle awareness: the way you bleed sets the tone for your whole cycle, and some tips for claiming menstrual rest (even in a world that is not at all interested in you claiming this). How slowing down is the secret to accessing the power of the premenstrual phase of the cycle, especially when we’re feeling exhausted and vulnerable. ---Receive our free video training: Love Your Cycle, Discover the Power of Menstrual Cycle Awareness to Revolutionise Your Life - www.redschool.net/love---The Menstruality Podcast is hosted by Red School. We love hearing from you. To contact us, email [e-mail]---Social media:Red School: @redschool - https://www.instagram.com/red.schoolSophie Jane Hardy: @sophie.jane.hardy - https://www.instagram.com/sophie.jane.hardy

Welcome to the Menstruality Podcast, where we share inspiring conversations about the power of menstrual cycle awareness and conscious menopause. This podcast is brought to you by Red School, where we're training the menstruality leaders of the future. I'm your host, Sophie Jane Hardy, and I'll be joined often by Red School's founders, Alexandra and Sharni, as well as an inspiring group of pioneers, activists, changemakers and creatives to explore how you can unashamedly claim the power of the menstrual cycle to activate your unique form of leadership for yourself, your community and the world. Hey there, how's it going? Thank you so much for tuning in today. Welcome to the Menstruality Podcast. Welcome back if you're a regular listener. Today we're in conversation with you, the brilliant community gathered around this work and this podcast,

answering your questions for our part two episode about how to work with the menstrual cycle as our own inbuilt energy management system. So this conversation is for you if you like me like so many of us struggle to follow the impulses of your cycle around the modern life juggle of responsibilities. It's also for you if you're dealing with low energy levels and you're not sure why. It's also for you if you're feeling good and have lots of energy but want tips to work with your cycle to enhance your vitality and feel even better. It's for you if you're brand new to cycle awareness it will help you set up the foundations for your own personal cyclical rhythm of sustainability in your life and it's also for you if you've been

practicing for a good while because we get into lots of the nuances of the practice of menstrual cycle awareness like how to work with the limitations you experience in your inner seasons how to navigate your energy through the crossover days in between the different phases of the cycle and my favourite part of the conversation which is how to set cyclical boundaries. So let's get started. Good morning Alexandra and Shani. We're back to talk about energy again. We've got so many shares and questions from our community. I'm excited to get into them. But let's start with our own cycle check-ins around our energy. And for those listening, take a moment now to

notice how you are on this cycle day, on this day of whatever cycles you're tracking and notice how your energy is feeling, how your energy levels are. I'll start. I'm on day 16, aren't I, Sharni? We're cycle sisters again. You are. I'm bringing you with me hand in hand, here we go. Yeah, and energy-wise, I'm feeling very good after having had a couple of weeks of my energy being thrown off by high levels of anxiety. Just lots of different things happening in my life that have been anxiety-inducing. So I'm feeling like post-ovulation now,

a really sigh of relief that I can feel myself feeling a bit more steady. And I'll probably be able to sleep better, which means that I'll have, yeah, more energy. So yeah, I'm feeling I'm feeling settled. And like there's, there's a pool of energy to draw on in me. Yes, good feeling. What a relief. It is a good feeling, isn't it? Having a pool of energy you can draw on. Yes.

Has it been that way for the two weeks? It's been very much on fumes, on fumes situation. On fumes. Running on fumes. Both getting high and also not quite well fueled enough yeah yeah well um as part of my cycle check-in i'm going to give a top tip for nourishing your energy which is having a good laugh which is what we've just been doing this morning for this podcast it's true he laughs it's so true i mean honestly it's shifted everything i was actually feeling i was actually feeling really steady and and i am still actually

the laughter has put another shot of something into me like a shot of coffee maybe i was going to go for tequila but yeah well i never drink coffee actually ever i'd like to see you after a couple of tequilas alexandra jesus no i'm honestly i'll be honest i'm the strongest i get is two bags of chamomile two bags not one bag two bags of chamomile this is a woman who sniffs chocolate to get like a kick even eating chocolate is too stimulating for me sometimes anyway i have not had chocolate or chamomile this morning i have actually um had a i've had a good morning feeling i just feel very it's day 26 of the moon and i'm you know i'm dropping down into that more interior space so i feel more kind of inside myself but um and feeling some there's energy there so i have some solidity and there's

whispers of anxiety of rather a lot of things that we are uh juggling or just having to meet at red school at the moment but there's yeah there is i liked it when you said a pool of energy to draw and i feel that there's some reserves there, and I'm not having to go slowly because there's nothing there, but I'm going slowly because I'm just kind of relishing the innerness of my inner state. There's a kind of deliciousness with that. It's this intimacy not just with myself but an intimacy with something bigger like yeah this is sort of

a little bit the holy or sacred zone i go into you know before the dark moon or just at the dark moon so um yeah um i'm just kind of easy and are there specific things that you do now over these next couple of days to manage your energy and protect your energy as you enter into this sacred territory oh my goodness yes it is this kind of discipline of presence with the place that i'm in within the moon cycle because obviously it's not the same as the menstrual cycle it's not as intense but for me it is quite precise how it happens actually I don't other parts of the moon I notice less but this is very significant and also we're coming to the end of our training, and that has a vulnerability to it.

The Menstrual Leadership Program. Yes, our menstruality. So I feel like I'm holding this sort of thinning of the holding of the training and what that means for everybody, and also myself withholding, because a lot of tension holding when you're holding people through a big training there's a lot you're doing and something is starting to ease and again that has to be paced so it's it's being conscious of all those elements cycles that i'm in really yeah it is the consciousness actually of where i am at that's the discipline i feel like that's going to be a theme that we come back to again and

again in this podcast, because yes, there are lots of different practical actions we can take, but it's really developing this mindfulness and consciousness cycle process that enables the energy management, because then in each little micro moment, you can make a course correction that allows you to manage your energy rather than deplete your energy yeah yeah lovely well enjoy your sacred temple time and Shani how's your energy day 16 with you my energy is dropping and I'm experiencing that as a tiredness in my eyes, but also just kind of much less capacity and a physical tenderness or even achiness. If I ever want to know how my energy is, i do my cycle check-in in movement which i did today because the moment i start moving i'm really coming to relationship with how energy is moving through me

and uh yeah it's a very sort of honest making experience it brings me out of the you know my what my mind expects of me or actually also brings me out of the pace of my life because my life is very fast paced at the moment um and so yeah that moment this morning of those moments of moving in my cycle check and just brought me out of my head into my body and into a very real place with my energy which is slowed slow weighing and i said i shared this in our team meeting yesterday, but I think this is, I mean, I want to share this with everyone because it's good context. So I'm like you post ovulation. I ovulated on day 12. And this kind of the season of inner summer, which I feel I have shifted out of now, or am shifting out of. There's a kind of graduation that I'm in.

This season of inner summer was such a flowering of energy. Really, it had a feeling of, it's almost hard to remember now because I'm in quite a different place, but God, I was riding it high. I just felt like there were no brakes on. It's that quality of being on a bicycle, coming down a hill. We don't even need to engage the pedals. It's all pleasure. Everything's moving past you fast.

You're kind of on the path. The wind's in your hair. The view's good. It's exhilarating. It's fun. You don't need to engage very much. And yet it is absolutely joyful. Like I've had such a joyful time.

And then suddenly, and this first little clunk in my energy came yesterday. Suddenly that like downward hill I was on became like an upward hill. And as you know, when you're cycling a bike, like everything changes when you're suddenly going uphill. It's like, it's a whole different bike riding experience. You need to change gears. Otherwise you're stuffed. You need to engage your body and kind of engage with the vehicle that you're on and like apply some sort of deliberate, very precise effort. Otherwise, yeah, things are going to fall back down the hill and it's not going to be pretty.

So that's what I've really felt myself doing since yesterday morning, since, you know, I felt this energy dynamic shift. I felt the kind of inner tide turn yesterday. And I kind of engaged this different gear. And if you can allow me to go on with my story for a moment, I'm going to tell you about my day yesterday because we're talking about energy management. So I was tired, more tired yesterday. And we had a big day we started early holding space for our menstruality leadership program meetings all kinds of things one thing

after the other right the way through late in the day and then I went straight into parent responsibilities and the day went on right into the night. And I noticed myself armoring up, getting my weapons out, getting my armor on, that was me versus life, which happens because when the energy dynamic shifts in the cycle, when we start to feel we have less energy, we become more vulnerable and we become more sensitive. And if we aren't present to that, what lands up happening is we have to armor up or defend ourselves, go into a kind of survival mode.

And actually that's an interesting kind of overriding of one's energy shift because what's required is to stay with the tenderizing, to stay with the vulnerability, to stay with the vulnerability to stay with yeah that and so um that's really been where my attention has been this morning is to kind of drop the armor and really come back to the increased vulnerability that I feel yeah wow that is the radical move isn't it that's the radical cycle aware move I was nodding as you're talking because I relate so much so much to that I feel like I'm protecting myself from life yeah sometimes yes yeah wow so much that you shared there Shani that was amazing the bike analogy is so good

for how the energy shifts into the second half of the cycle yeah that's very helpful and also the movement check-in you know on you obviously you you have like a couple of decades now is it of movement practice yeah yeah i mean movement medicine has been my practice for yeah 20 25 years now it's it's really kind of core to uh helping me develop the interception the somatic awareness which you know this is so core to cycle awareness if we can't feel our bodies we can't feel how the energy is moving us and how we're changing so I'm I'm very very grateful to my uh movement medicine practice um and my two teachers so I was actually thinking about this morning Susanna and Yakov Darling Khan god what a gift they've given me in all my years of study with them and um as you know I've brought this into our work at Red School so

one of the things we do in our courses in our menstruality leadership program and also in our cycle power course is I guide people in a movement check-in because it's such a good way to come into presence with yourself so yeah actually on the cycle power course we've had a few people say that was one of like their favorite things because of course you can listen to it again and again you know you've got lifetime access the people who have made it a daily um which is a good good way to do a cycle check-in yeah amazing that was going to be my next question how how can we learn how to do that so that's great to know that it's on good good way to do a cycle chicken yeah amazing that was going to be my next question how how can we learn how to do that so that's great to know that it's on cycle it was definitely the highlight of the MLP for me when when you guided us in that movement practice around the inner seasons so that's great to know it's included in cycle power wow okay well good to know where we all are. And we have tons of questions that have come in

about how different aspects of managing energy, we can look at them through the lens of the different inner seasons. But just before we do, there were a couple of comments that were great for just affirming what a big deal this is, why it's so important that we're talking about this. So this comment came in from Tammy and she said, thank you so much for this conversation, for the part one energy conversation. In clinic, I work with many women realizing their exhaustion and fatigue. Teaching them menstrual cycle awareness gives them the blueprint when emphasized that this is one a sustainability practice and linking it to mother earth's depletion this helps women and their role and agency in healing the planet so it's not just about our own body about our larger body yeah right so true yes yeah she says

bringing feminine wisdom to the forefront of the leadership that's needed now the woman the earth needs now to quote jane hardwick collings i love that quote from jane yes and then number two on a personal level they learn and they're listening now this is a preventative measure to a treacherous perimenopause yes yes yes that's everything yeah and um this came in from hayley menstrual cycle awareness has been absolutely critical for managing my ms energy is precious to me and so understanding where there might be patterns in energy levels and mood is an essential wellness tool for me i'm so passionate about living cyclically and how it's helped me on my healing journey that I'm compelled to share this with others

living with chronic illness. It's so inspiring. Hayley's on our Menstruality Leadership Program and I really love what she is bringing to the world and actually born out of her you know lived experience of living with MS because yes bringing this practice to people with chronic illness feels like such an important kind of foundation for health and well-being yeah and it's what brings a lot of people to menstrual cycle awareness because they it's what brought me and Alexandra really that's yeah okay

let's get to the questions and we'll start with questions around inner winter around the menstruation and we've summarized this one because a load of different questions came in along the theme of how on earth do I talk to others about how I need to rest when I bleed because it's so key to energy management so the question I want to bring to you how do you navigate exhaustion when you're exhausted from others feeling triggered by your need for deep rest yeah this is quite something, this. And Sharni and I were reflecting on this question because, of course, it's not so much that people are, for me, often irritated by it.

That would be another thing that might come up, actually. Like it's a problem. I'm a problem and um one of the things that one can do is well there are layers to this the first layer is your own uh relationship with rest and your right to take rest so um i would really uh just feel into how comfortable aside from other people being triggered by this but how do you feel you have are you giving yourself full permission and often it's good to hear it from others. So I'm going to say you have full permission to rest at menstruation, but to feel you have a right to take that time.

And that's an inner work process that's actually very important. So the more congruent you are with the rightness of this for you, the more that shifts, I think, the energy field and will also help you to assert yourself more congruently. But a really practical, another sort of more immediate thing to do is to wait for a time in the cycle, not when you're about to bleed, or when you're in the premenstrual and can feel your bleed going on, and you're feeling perhaps more and more scratchy and reactive, but another time in the cycle where you're feeling more chilled with yourself, or there's a good energy between you and the people around you let's say it's your partner um and to open a conversation about it then and to uh not to just jump in there but to say i would

love to talk to you about my just my need and my desire i to, as well as I feel I need to. It really helps me to be able to rest at menstruation. I'd love to be able to talk about it with you. Would you be up for that? So they have a choice and you're not just jumping in there. And to try to explain or just to share, to share your thinking. Now, one of the things I have learned over the years is that when I have ever spoken about something that is that an idea, perhaps I'm holding or a thought thought whatever with people that's very foreign for them so let's say about you know I think it's I might speak passionately about you know the importance of living cyclically and and you know necessary to rest I might speak about it more in general to us or something like that and people will argue with with me or, you know, say, well, how can

you possibly do that? The thing is, I've now discovered, even though they push back, they think about it because they come back or something shifts in them or they start. I don't know. I've had interesting feedback. I'm thinking of my family when I brought things up. I've realized, oh, my God, they did hear something has shifted, but they won't sort of show it in the moment. So just because it may not go very well, the conversation, what I'm trying to actually say here is, you know, at some level, they may hear you, they may receive something. Yeah. So I think, you know, find ways to talk about it, even as it's uncomfortable, and actually to keep talking about it, because it's actually very, very foreign.

And also, they don't feel they have a right to rest. That's what you're coming up against. And a lot of people have this with their mothers because our mothers you know I think of my mother's generation they just battled on you know you did not have needs you just didn't have your own needs yeah it really takes time for all of us like personally to claim the rest that we need but then for those around us to recognize the importance of it. And I think of the bigger context of colonization. And this is what really inspires me to claim my rest, because when I recognize that I'm

aligning with this momentum of decolonizing, you know, these structures of power that have forced productivity upon those with less power. I don't want to collude with that anymore, but I need to be patient in recognizing that those systems are really alive in me. They're really alive, let's just say in aid, because he's my main rest partner slash challenge. And it's taking so much time for him to understand um and for me to claim it

but now he says to me right how can we you know I see your bleeds coming up how can we work with this it's like we're landing in something together and it's part of a bigger collective momentum for all of us that's so good that's so good hearing your experience, Sophie, and contextualizing it like that. So important. So then, you know, our need to assert ourselves around rest has a bigger meaning to it. Yes. It's not it's just not me being needy. No, it's not me being sort of weak and, you know, no, no, no. It's so good bringing that perspective in there's a practical extension of this question around boundaries because i think it's that's it's so helpful for

us claiming the rest is when we have the clear boundaries in place and this is a question from becca and she says i would love to hear more practical tips around how you set boundaries around phone usage, which is such a big one for so many of us, communicating to others around your boundaries and setting expectations. I think this is so key, but I find it so tough. You're not alone, Becca. um you know as the queen of boundaries now um but i became queen of boundaries um through um years of not having boundaries you know clear or you know or struggling to assert my boundaries and feeling guilty or feeling like a problem, you know, for asserting my needs, actually. So it's a process. And I want to come back to the inner work element here, which is that the more that you are practicing cycle awareness

and the more you are doing that, the more you are growing into your own sense of inner goodness and activating greater agency in you so you you're getting um more insight into yourself and um and that's one of the keys of our lovely cycle power course you've got these four great keys and when you're really understanding the full power of the cycle you get insight about how yourself but you're also i just love this about cycle awareness it's actually building your confidence in yourself you believe yourself yes you go oh yeah this is how i am and there's like a rising dignity and that rising dignity is like a rising agency. Yeah. I, you know, I have a right to assert my needs boundaries. So it's a, it's a bit like the right to set your boundary for rest to just assert your boundary and to say, I, so, so yes, it's, it's, there's something that happens on the inside that grows, that helps you.

And I think this is really, really necessary to have that, actually. And then the other sort of a practical thing is to begin with the one percent specker. It's always going to be edgy. I can. I can't sort of give you some tips that will make you feel kind of totally comfortable. You see, you have to go through menopause to acquire this ability, I have to say. So this is one of the perks of menopause. But I switch the phone off with abandon, with abandon and go, who cares? You know, who know who cares okay so the world goes down you know yes I know I'm running an organization I'm very lucky to have Shani on board and she she has her phone on most of the time you see because she's got children and she's got to be

so sneaky sneaky so I know she's always plumbed into things. You're abusing the level of responsibility I have in my life. Yes, I am, Shani, and unashamedly. I mean, that is a kind of post-menopausal right though, isn't it? Yes, it is. It is. I mean, it's just, you know, my sense of well-being is so, I just don't have energy to spare like you guys. It is, I am just not interested in traumatizing myself or exhausting myself.

So anyway, this is not very helpful to you, Becca, because you haven't gone through menopause yet but um but anyway there's a nice little you know philip for menopause folks these goods to come um which is that um the one percents are that you just um you turn your i would actually just practice turning your phone off for an hour or so, just, or turn it off because it'll slow down your checking in. So I, on a Sunday, if I'm going to have no phone on a Sunday, I will tell Shani and I will do this on the dark moon. I'll say, so no phone.

No, I'm having no internet interaction. And I will let Shani know. But what I don't let her know is that I just turn, well, I always turn it off at six o'clock at night. I think she's figured that one out. But, you know, on a Sunday, I'll turn it off for an hour or so. And then I will go and check it. But if it was on all the time, I would check it more.

Yeah. So you just you do these smart one percents to slow it down. So for me to check it, I've got to turn the phone on. And yeah, so it just interrupts. So, Becca, the one percents. The other thing is going back to that conversation about rest is to speak to people about it, to let people know that you're going to be unavailable, but talk to them at a time when you're not, when there's kind of ease and flow between you. And you know what? People may always be, find it difficult or be irritated by you I honestly I had friends that were often irritated by me not being available and and it was uncomfortable and it was just uncomfortable it was difficult and I didn't enjoy it and I still had to take the space. I mean, I think it's helpful to note that

the very nature of menstruation is that it interrupts momentum and it interrupts the culture and any interruption to the status quo rocks boats, you know, I was going to say rocks, feathers, ruffles, feathers, rocks, boats. So in a way, some kind of inconvenience or reactivity is actually to be expected because it is inconvenient, you know, but that's the thing that we're meeting is that limit that menstruation brings us. And understanding the limits that the cycle brings is really, really important because when we meet the limits of our energy, we learn what our boundaries are. It's that simultaneous work of going, okay, I've reached the end of my capacity. Now I've reached my limit.

So that brings up the need for a boundary. And the honoring of that is what actually puts us back inside the sustainability system of the cycle. So I loved what you were saying, Alexandra, about boundaries. You know, boundaries are not like a thing you, it's not like a perimeter fence that you build around your house and it's like there for good. Boundaries are a practice. They're a movable feast. They're part of how we respond to what's happening inside us and also respond to what's happening outside of us. So, you know, identifying your boundaries and asserting them is a day by day moment by moment practice. And if this is a kind of whole new thing for you, start with just little boundaries.

Start with just like noticing the little boundary, something that's inconsequential, that you're not going to get a huge pushback on and set that boundary. And then see, it'll build your confidence and it will build that kind of muscle of boundary setting. Okay, I have a couple of invitations for you. Firstly if you'd like a copy of the Red School cycle tracking chart you can download it for free at redschool.net forward slash chart and if you'd like to deepen your menstrual cycle awareness practice

or just simply be immersed in a cycle aware community as you ebb and flow through your menstrual month we really warmly welcome you to join the upcoming live community round of the cycle power course which is starting next week on Wednesday April the 30th to find out more about this live round go to redschool.net forward slash cycle power and you'll see there's a special discount of 33% off the course when you join this live round now so you can find out all about it at redschool.net forward slash cycle power. And here's a story from Shalise who recently completed the cycle power course. She says, during my last cycle, I fully embraced cyclical self-care for the first time in my life.

I completely slowed down during my inner autumn and cocooned in my inner winter. I rested, slept longer, avoided making plans and allowed myself to simply be. That's so beautiful, Shabby's. What I noticed was incredible. By the time my inner spring came around, I felt the best I've ever felt coming out of menstruation. I was fully energized, confident and ready to embrace the productivity and potential of the inner spring. It was a feeling of alignment I'd never experienced before. Menstrual cycle awareness has taught me that tending to each season doesn't just improve the current phase, but enhances the entire cycle.

It's fascinating to learn that by tending to my body's changing needs throughout my cycle, I can actually improve the quality of my life. Thank you so much for sharing that Shalise. If you'd like to be part of this global community traveling together through the cycle power course it's starting on the 30th of April and you can register at redschool.net forward slash cycle power. I also like to remember that a boundary is a no and a yes. So the boundary is I'm saying no to this. And what helps me to set it is what am I saying yes to in its place. And for me with the phone and menstrual rest, having a book, a really good book to read has been such an ally for me. So if you're into amazing women's memoirs about nature, The Salt Path by Raina Wynne, and then there are two more that

follow it. So if you really like it, that was so good for me over winter, it really helped to regulate my nervous system and replace the phone with the book. So little tip, Becca. Lovely. Yeah. And I love that actually, recognizing that a boundary is actually a claiming at the same time. Yeah, that's very dignifying, isn't it? Because I think oftentimes, particularly women, we feel like we're being nasty or unkind or thoughtless or uncaring when we set a boundary.

You know, I think there's a lot of shame around saying no. And so to kind of recognize that there is a big fat yes and they might help us along the way. Yeah, that's really good, Sophie. So the other thing I want to just mention here, because in that phone question, I'm hearing a couple of things. One is about the responsibilities that we have which mean we might need to be available in a certain way but

there's that but then there's the addiction piece which is a big big thing here and I just wanted to name that because addictive habits are, yeah, it's kind of what surfaces when we stop. Because when we stop, we start to feel. and we did a really good podcast episode about this which I think is called why we find it so hard to rest at menstruation and where we touched on these things around addiction and trauma and lack of safety and so on so it's really worth just being aware that that's really playing into it and um yeah so that's something to tend to to kind of help yourself find greater levels of safety in your rest um so that yeah you you are are you're feeling more of the holding that menstruation offers and again that's like a time on the job thing partly menstrual cycle awareness helps to build the safety but it might also be that you need to directly tend to trauma or yeah whatever the thing like beautifully said i'm also recognizing

thinking of some of the women that I work with that have ADHD you know having a neurodivergent brain is also brings in different challenges here and factors um just for if you want to listen to the hat why it's so hard to rest at menstruation and menopause conversation is episode number 74 if you want to go back yeah brilliant we've had nearly 200 episodes of this podcast now oh my goodness gosh and we're only just getting started we haven't even scratched the surface of the conversation people often say to me really are there that many things to say about the menstrual cycle I'm like we are just we have got a thousand episodes in us just getting started just getting started yeah it's so good so this this whole thing about kind of addiction and trauma um is really worth noting in the bigger context of the energy management conversation because

um our capacity for rest administration is also tied into these big these other things massively and it's something that we're planning to talk about on the podcast over the next couple of months isn't it it's coming up yeah okay if we can put inner winter down which is hard and move to inner spring there are a couple of questions that are like inner spring and inner summer connected, so pre-ovulation and ovulation phase of the cycle. And again, there are lots of versions of this question, so I've summarized them. Do I burn out in my inner summer because I do too much in my inner spring? And is my experience of struggle and burnout at ovulation related to my ability to practice the art of pacing in a way it's yes and yes

but i'm going to sort of go back to the beginning really because i always want to say How we bleed sets the tone for the whole cycle. So if you have a well-nourished menstruation, you will probably find the summer has just flowers organically, naturally. You will feel a nice pool of energy that you can draw on. So that's one thing that's very, very important. And then the second thing is how it is true, how you come out of menstruation into spring and then travel through spring in other words how you meet the um well firstly how you meet that crossover into the inner spring you know coming out of the sort of lovely

protective bubble of menstruation so you're coming into a sort of normal life again so menstruation you'll probably find, if you can really protect it, that you can put all your pressures down for a while. But of course, at the exit door of menstruation, all the laundry has piled up, you know, the email list is shocking and exit, you know, and suddenly the realities

of all the stuff you have to do can hit you. And that can dislodgeodge you and you can often um sort of come out of that sooth space like be jolted out of it or rush off at that point because of course you've got this rising energy um and that rising, especially if you've rested well at menstruation, you know, can take off, can take you off like a rocket. You experience that. Actually, I mean, you know, even with the moon cycle, I can feel that kicking in.

And, yeah, it's so interesting. Of course, it is so much more subtle. But you have to remember in the early stages of your inner spring that you are still young, in inverted commas. There's a sort of vulnerability, a tenderness. You know, you're still forming yourself again, reforming yourself to meet the fullness of the world. So being able to be mindful of your nervous system,

adjusting to that lovely cave-like energy of menstruation and then suddenly not having it, you know, sort of having to cope with brighter lights suddenly, metaphorically speaking. And just if you can pace yourself you know and that means just really being mindful of this energy rising in you and and how much you're able to just rest in and receive that energy we were just talking about this weren't we the other day surely in another session the importance of letting yourself just receive that goodness of

that lovely returning energy. It's so gorgeous. And not just using it, not just scattering it with all the jobs you have to do. It's a really fine balancing act. I'm not pretending, you know, it's just that it's necessarily easy to do, especially when you have a lot of demands and pressures on your life so can you hear how i'm sort of negotiating the way into the inner spring you know you're sort of allowing that you're receiving this spring energy and you're kind of enjoying it and not letting it use you and then end up feeling exhausted that That's the trick, isn't it? And just sort of remembering that you still need a certain protection, you know, being slightly protective of yourself.

It's a bit like, you know, in the creative process, you know, when you have a brilliant idea and it's so brilliant and your immediate thought is, oh, I want to tell everybody. But no, no, it's terribly important not to tell everybody right away but to just let your brilliant idea have space and to grow inside you because if you tell everyone straight away everyone goes that's you know how on earth are you going to do that i mean you know so heartbreaking isn't it people just because and and their because their thoughts are really valid their Their comments are valid. You know, you, you, you want to go out and what?

You know, and God knows your own critics probably doing a number with you there, too. Anyway, I digress. But there's a good story in there about just protecting yourself. And then organically, naturally, you know know it shifts and changes and you get stronger you feel more sturdy and you can kind of let rip in the way shani you were talking about with your summer energy i mean that's just a beautiful example isn't it of you just going for it you were just in the river of that flow such a good feeling it is it didn't it feels effortless when you know that that inner summer energy is just flowing freely through you if you've had the rest you need administration if you've been able to pace that rise yeah it's very good well talking about when

you haven't maybe been able to pace the rising energy there's a question from Helen which I'm imagining is the same answer but let's ask it anyway because it might resonate for other people for people listening so Helen says I have lots of symptoms around ovulation which mean that I'm low energy and feel a bit rubbish for maybe four to five days of my inner summer right when I'm at my most motivated to do stuff no amount of resting and surrendering and paying close attention at other times of the cycle seems to help so I guess my question is around how to honor and work with consistently low energy in the inner summer and still get stuff done that's a big challenge that is a big challenge and I'm reflecting on actually how individual each of our cycle experiences is for this exact reason you know

we've all got different levels of health different constitutions different lives lifestyles and so on our histories are different so different levels of trauma in our system and and so much of cycle awareness is about pacing and working with the energy that you have so you already have this awareness Helen that your energy is low in the inner summer and this is powerful this insight is really powerful Alexandra mentioned the keys the four keys that we teach on our cycle power course and you know these four keys are are the sort of bed rocks that unlock your uh your energy your healing but also unlock your power. And in many ways, they are the means by which you come to sort of embody yourself more and more, but also you grow self-awareness and you grow increasing self-acceptance. And these things are really important.

So one of the major keys is insight you know what you're learning about yourself through your practice of cycle awareness and one of the other keys is the limits and boundaries that you discover in each inner season that are unique to you and then how you care for that so this is the other piece is the cyclical self-care you know how you honor the fact that you don't have a lot of energy yeah so regardless of the fact that it's in a summer and in a way that's irrelevant like in inverted comms you should have energy and you should be doing stuff. But actually what's being asked of you is to work with the capacity you have.

Remember what I said earlier about boundaries, when we meet our own limits and we become aware of them and we respect them, that puts us back in the renewable, um, the renewable energy of the cycle. That is what helps to bring repair, to bring healing, to bring more energy. And it's hard to trust that, especially when we've had not good energy for a very very long time uh really hard to trust that um but yeah in a way that is the way yeah to override that just kind of um takes us deeper and deeper into depletion and just drains that lovely pool you were talking about, Sophie, more and more that, you know, all there is is fumes. I really want to emphasize this point that you were making, Shani,

about honoring the limits and boundaries of who you are, the actual constitution you have, and not to sort of compare it with what other people do or what you think you should be able to do. And you said how hard that can be. And I do want to, I want to second that um and then I want to add um and it's so radical to think like this uh to imagine that your body is on your side but to honor when you honor your own boundaries uh or the limits of who you are,

you actually open up another space within yourself. Something happens. Something shifts within you. And another kind of knowledge or knowing can come through and that was my experience because this you know I struggled with energy stuff all my life and I you know I could get angry with it oh god I got angry with my body but gradually But gradually I learned there was no point getting angry, which made me worse. But I remember, you know, very consciously thinking that when I put,

you know, when I closed the door on what, you know, all that I want to be doing and actually be with who I actually am, what's actually happening, something else opened up. I mean, apart from anything else, it was this kindness towards myself and that act of actually respecting my body and taking my own side in the moment and not trying to do what I think I ought to do, but to dare to trust. Oh, my God, that's what it was. It was to dare to trust oh my god that's what it was it was to dare to trust my

own limits and um I have to say I I'm a big fan of limits and boundaries I find them one of the most liberating things of all limits are sexy people limits are so sexy and we really get into this in the cycle power course we do it's such an invisible thing and it's such an undignified thing and we're all in a like a consciousness of doing more and you you know, it not being enough and to kind of go, it's enough. There's nothing more that needs to be done. It's so radical. It's so radical, but all the power, all the energy lies there. That's where it all lies. Not out there, not in doing more or, you know, yeah, trying harder. It's amazing. I love this reframe. It's reminding me of when I first started practicing cycle awareness. And I think understanding my limits and my boundaries really helped me to claim this identity of highly sensitive. And like you said, Alexandra, so much opened up for me then.

OK, OK, I'm highly sensitive ah I have empathy oh I have imagination oh I need lots of alone time and then suddenly my life becomes more technicolor and beautiful because I'm actually for the first time stopping trying to push myself to do all the things that freak out my nervous system and I'm doing the things that soothe me and whoa there's way more creativity and joy and pleasure and more energy actually from that but it came from going no I don't want to go out tonight or tomorrow or the next day or in fact for the next two weeks I just want to be at home quietly you know but how boring but how liberating and yeah what you know what it creates for us which actually brings me on to the final focus of the questions which is the season of inner autumn

because this did so much for me in terms of the terrible symptoms I was experiencing pre-menstrually recognizing that was highly sensitive but there are there were several questions that came in around the theme of in your inner autumn what to do when you're exhausted and vulnerable you know and experiencing challenge so maybe the best question I can ask you too is how do you hold yourself in inner autumn through intense triggers when you're exhausted that sounds like a kind of classic inner autumn perfect storm, doesn't it? Like we've all having this real clarity around actually what is needed for me in each inner season of my cycle it's like these little anchors that like when in doubt this this is the self-care that I need. And Alexandra and I have distilled these self-care practices

for each inner season, and each one is your own little elixir that, you know, take seven drops in the morning, seven drops at night, and watch the magic. I wish you had actually made tinctures that we could all just have that would solve all of our problems yeah that would be nice actually just imbibe them imbibe them yeah no sadly these are practices god we make people work hard at red school don't we it's almost like this is a spiritual practice that is a whole lifelong practice that can transform our entire lives or something yeah exactly the benefits are worth it very very worth it but yes to this uh you know autumn self-care

practice it is to slow down and um alexandra you made a joke earlier this week to our group of participants on the Menstruality Leadership Program. You said, actually, the answer to everything is slow down. in the face of extreme exhaustion huge like um uh being re-triggered you know what were the other things that were mentioned in the question well how do you manage your critic when you're burnt out yeah yeah yeah burnt out your inner critic is raging life has become too much so on and so forth slowing down seems really feeble in the face of that and yet when we slow down and sometimes that is even just like a dropping back into ourselves, kind of slowing down. We're just taking a little bit more space between the things that we're doing or doing whatever we're doing more slowly. That brings us back into connection with ourselves. That brings us back into connection with our needs. And the moment we have that connection,

we can care for ourselves in a way that's going to bring resource, is going to help us to feel more soothed and bring more kind of stability and centering in our being. Yeah, it's powerful to slow down. Yeah. When you were doing your check-in this morning, Alexandra, you were talking about, you know, you being day 26 of the moon cycle and how you are relishing the slowing down, which is the other piece of this,

is that I'm talking about it in response to the question as a way of kind of re-regulating and reconnecting and coming back to yourself. But also when you slow down, you actually start to open a power. You start to actually feel into the gifts of the season and the gifts of each season which are there for you like a um like a like a like a bag of goodies you know and each of these powers can really serve and support the challenge complexity Christian critic whatever it is that's going on that slowing down actually like opens you to the power that's here in this season and I've definitely felt that I know you have too Sophie but

like when I slow down one of the things that happens to me, which is one of the powers of the inner autumn is I feel more in touch with my intuition. And so rather than trying to figure out the difficulty with my head, I come into this deeper knowing in myself. And my God, does that save time? back on track right back inside me my life who I am what I'm here to do what matters puts me right back inside this kind of love space um this big bigger knowing that's power yeah the love it plugs us back into love and connection yeah I feel like I have about at least a hundred fork in the road moments each day that I'm spending the whole day with my son, Artie, where especially in the autumn, especially if I'm exhausted, I can just go to rage so quickly. And if I take, so I've learned to do because I don't like raging at him. It's not fair on him. put my hand on my heart breathe and usually that's enough for me to either connect to the way that I want to parent him and do that with love or connect to the way I want to parent myself

because it's usually my inner toddler that's kicking off because I wasn't allowed to scream like he was anyway yeah yeah it's such an amazing practice slowing down and like you said it can feel feeble and it's the most powerful thing yeah I so love that you brought that story in about parenting and arty because you know for all the mothers listening what you're learning in cycle awareness when we talk about energy management and we talk about these four keys of you know unlocking the power of each in a season is you're actually learning the skills both for the motherhood initiation but also parenting skills like I rely so heavily on my embodied knowledge that's come through menstrual cycle awareness and menstruality in my parenting

I mean it's actually central to my parenting it's this is a conversation we need to have menstruality parenting yeah maybe a whole other one about menstruality and caring for elders too as well because i think there are some that make some similar triggers yeah we could clearly have 18 different conversations there's probably time for us to stop. Before we do, I was just wondering, Alexandra, if you have a closing piece to share in response to this question. Only to just say yes, yes, yes around, I mean, the answer to everything truly is slow down. But how in the autumn or slowing down opens you to the

powers it is that is just such a powerful statement it's you actually then unlock a resource within yourself to deal with the issue at hand can i I ask Alexandra one more question if she answers it quickly? Yes, just no boundaries and limits. Answer it quickly. So actually, Alexandra, I mentioned there around the kind of importance of learning cyclical self-care for mothers. Maybe you could just talk about this in terms of menopause. So why this matters for those approaching menopause, but also in post-menopause life. Why, you know, because we've had lots of people come on our cycle parkour who no longer have a menstrual cycle, and this is hugely relevant still. It's hugely relevant. So those who no longer have a cycle, and particularly if you missed out

in your cycling years on building this knowledge, work with the moon cycle. You won't feel it. That's what I'm doing. I clock where the moon cycle. You won't feel it. That's what I'm doing. I clock where the moon is. And you don't feel it like you feel your menstrual cycle. And you may only notice parts of the moon. But I apply these cyclical self-care practices to, you know, when it's full moon, you know, I remember the cyclical self-care practice.

But right now, of course, I'm in the latter stages of the moon waning, the autumn season, if you like. And I am very deliberately practicing this, you know, slowing down to bring myself into presence. And I will actively give more consciousness to nothing space on the dark moon, like having my phone off for a day. So I'm doing it very deliberately because I am not always feeling it from the inside. But it anchors me because I could take off like a rocket all the time just because of my freaking brain and the drive I have in me, my will and willfulness. So I find the moon cycling really important to manage my particular nature because I know about my nature now and the pitfalls of my nature. Yeah. So I've heard you say this many times which is that cyclical self-care and the knowledge you have about menstruality is a complete lifeline for you in terms of energy management and it's

the foundation for your creativity and absolutely all of this is foundation for my self-care and my creativity and yeah thanks it's the gift that keeps on giving it's the gift that keeps on giving wow what a rich conversation I loved what you said earlier Shani about how the cycle is our sustainability system that's what this is it's menstrual cycle awareness is tuning into our own inbuilt sustainability system. I loved also what you shared earlier, Alexandra, how you bleed sets the tone for the whole cycle. So if there's one thing to take away, it's, you know, starting the cycle with rest

is a real key to managing our energy. And yeah, if you want to come, if you want to be surrounded by others to explore your cycle as your sustainability system, and there's so much more, then do come and join our upcoming live community round of Cycle Power. It's going to be absolutely gorgeous. And I can't wait. Yeah. Thank you so much, you two. Thank you, Sophie. Bye. and I can't wait yeah thank you so much you too thank you Sophie bye thanks for being with us today again if you'd like to be part of this live round of cycle power

it's starting on the 30th of April you can find out all about it and join at redschool.net forward slash cycle power and you'll also receive the 33% discount when you register before the 30th of April. And just a request to close, if you love this podcast we would really appreciate it if you could go and give it a five star rating and review on Apple podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts. It's the best way to support this podcast and help it to reach more people. And we are so, so grateful. Thank you from our hearts. All right, that's it for this week. I'll be with you again next week. And until then, keep living life according to your own brilliant rhythm.