The Menstruality Podcast - 220. How Cycle Awareness Frees Your Voice and True Expression (Alexandra and Sjanie)

Episode Date: November 6, 2025

One of the questions that comes up again and again in the Red School community is this: how can I free up my voice and share my truth? So many of us, particularly women and those socialised as female feel stuck, silenced or disconnected from our true expression, so today we’re exploring how the practice of checking in every day with your menstrual cycle and how it’s influencing your energy and mood can support you on this quest. Through our personal stories as well as stories from the community, we explore how menstrual cycle awareness is a discipline that keeps you close to yourself, and how this practice organically awakens an inner warmth, connection and confidence which lines you up to receive inspiration about what it is that you’re here to express and share with the world. We explore:How menstruation cocoons you so that you can step away from the noise of the world and rest into a sanctuary of connection with your voice - the inner winter silences the world so that you can finally hear yourself. Tools for working with your inner critic and self expression - such as containing the critic in the premenstrual phase of the cycle - so that you can practice experimenting and paying with sharing your voice in the preovulatory phase, your inner spring.How to support ourselves when the holding back of our voice comes out as premenstrual rage or implodes inside as depressive cycles. ---Receive our free video training: Love Your Cycle, Discover the Power of Menstrual Cycle Awareness to Revolutionise Your Life - www.redschool.net/love---The Menstruality Podcast is hosted by Red School. We love hearing from you. To contact us, email [e-mail]---Social media:Red School: @redschool - https://www.instagram.com/red.schoolSophie Jane Hardy: @sophie.jane.hardy - https://www.instagram.com/sophie.jane.hardy

Welcome to the menstruality podcast, where we share inspiring conversations about the power of menstrual cycle awareness and conscious menopause. This podcast is brought to you by Red School, where we're training the menstruality leaders of the future. I'm your host, Sophie Jane Hardy, and I'll be joined often by Red School's founders, Alexander and Sharnie, as well as an inspiring group of pioneers, activists, change makers and creatives to explore how you can unashamedly claim the power of the menstrual cycle to activate your unique form of leadership for yourself, your community and the world.

Hey, welcome to the podcast. So one of the questions that comes up again and again in the Red School community is this. How can I free up my voice and share my truth? So many of us, particularly women and those socialised as female, feel stuck, silenced or disconnected in some way from our true expression. So today we're exploring how the practice of checking in every day with your menstrual cycle and how it's influencing your energy and mood can support you on this quest to free your voice. Through our personal stories, through personal stories from myself as well as Alexander and Sharnie and

stories from the community, we explore how menstrual cycle awareness is a discipline that keeps you close to yourself and how this daily practice organically awakens an inner warmth and connection and confidence which lines you up to receive inspiration about what it is that you're here to express and share with the world. this conversation so much. I felt like it liberated my own voice and I hope it does the same thing for you as well as helping you feel more committed to your own cycle awareness practice as a tool to share your voice more fully. So here we go with how cycle awareness frees your voice and true expression with Alexander and Shani. Good morning, Alexander and Shani. We're talking about

voice today and expression and truth and it's just amazing because this all morning I've been thinking how have we not spoken about this already and I think that all the time and then sometimes I'm just speaking randomly to people about what I do and they say what do you do and I say well I host a podcast about the menstrual cycle and they're like really like how much could there possibly be to say about the menstrual cycle and I'm like well we've done 200 and something episodes And we're literally only just getting started because we keep finding things you want to talk about. We go, how have we not talked about this already?

So here we are. We'll start with our cycle check-in because that's what we do. And I'm wondering, see how this goes, but I'm wondering if we can do a cycle-check-in through the lens of how our voice and our expression is being influenced by where we're at in our cycles. Yeah, it's a really interesting inquiry that, Sophie.

I think I'll have to feel my way into it. So it's full moon today. I am a mix of things. It's very interesting. I feel more functional than soulful. And I feel a certain kind of breathness for that sort of deep intimacy with myself. When I don't have that, there's a sort of emptiness there. within me. And I'm, you know, I'm perfectly sort of functional in the world that can go about my

business and I can have lots of opinions about things. But I don't feel my mind, in this case, you know, my voice is sourced from that deep intimacy in the same way. It's not there. It's not there. And I can feel a sort of rapaciousness of my mind taking over. And that's a really, be another way of talking about my ego, you know, there's a, you know, perhaps wanting to dominate a conversation or, you know, to have opinions. Within all this, I have this presence with myself. I'm sort of inside myself watching all this, you know. And so in terms of my voice, I'm being a little bit almost, I want to say, reserved, because I don't entirely trust my capacious, soulless mind.

That's it. You know what I mean? It's sort of egoic and hungry. And critical, too. I've been firing off firm emails and then getting firm responses back. Yes, it just behoes me to remember warmth. That feels like a very advanced cycle-aware voice check-in.

that's beautiful. That's most menopause, having worked with the cycle for decades, check-in, that's amazing. The level of awareness. Shal I go, Shani. I'm on day four, and I'm just very, very aware of how my relationship with my voice used to be before cycle awareness and how actually my pre-menstrual, incredibly uncomfortable initiation into menstrual cycle awareness really had so much to do with my voice because I felt so stuck and silenced. Like I would sit silently in gatherings with other people and I'd have so much

I'd want to say and it wouldn't be able to find its way out. And it was, it frustrated me to the point of this premenstrual rage. I think so much of that huge premenstrual rage that was going on that that catalyzed my, you know, finding out about menstrual cycle awareness was because I heard so much I wanted to say and it couldn't find its way out. So it roared its way out. And today, here on my day four, I just feel so grateful for how easyful it is. I feel what I want to say and then I find my way to say it. And it's so very different to 15 years ago where, like so many of us, after a childhood and a youth of really being actively silenced and told to be quiet. I didn't know. I lost my way. Like everything got tangled up inside. I didn't know what my

voice was. And boy, how grateful I am that this daily connection with myself has helped me to know what I want to say and to have the confidence to say it. And I can really feel that on this day for like this sort of surge of clarity in me. And I love the story you shared, Sophie earlier about the boulders which i think is just such a good example yeah yeah so i'm on day four and when i'm in my bleed i'm really in my inner spring now as well if there is noise around me i find it very very hard to concentrate and i need to concentrate for these kind of conversation conversations especially you two wild ponies going off in all kinds of directions there's a time limit and i have to keep us focused and all that old rains yeah and there are some

builders working on a house opposite our house and they had very loud music playing and I heard it, knew that it would distract me, got up out of my chair, walked out of my house and had a very lovely conversation with them asking them to lower the music they did, it's all good but back 15 years ago me would have sat and worried about that and got all bound up about it and then not said anything and just been confused all the way through this conversation because I wouldn't have known how to say or dared to say or thought it was okay for me to have an opinion and go and say it. Oh, different.

I really love that. I'm enjoying this question of reflecting on my cycle day experience through the lens of my voice and my connection to my voice. So I'm day six and I feel like I was really how. during this bleed had such a sense of being cocooned and feeling safe and I'm out of that now and the spring pre-ovulatory energy has not seized me yet I haven't been kind of taken by that wonderful rise and drive yet so I feel like I'm sort of in between places and it's quite an uncomfortable state I feel quite sort of small actually and I was having when I was checking in

with my cycle this morning I was having a bit of a chart art forming in my head head. So for those of you who don't know about chart art, it was something that I created actually before our book Wild Power came out when no one knew what menstrual cycle awareness was. And I wanted to share my cycle check-in and share my cycle experience with people so that they could have a lens into the way we changed through the menstrual month. And I created these images with usually a word or a phrase that captured the essence of my cycle day. And it was so much fun to do. And in fact, I highly recommended if anyone's listening to this and thinking,

yeah, it's a great way to deepen your MCA practice each day. Anyway, I was having the, now I'd just do chart art in my head. I don't actually go as far as creating it. But the image that was coming to me was of piglet. Of course. Yeah, piglet from Winnie the Pooh. There's a line that piglet, yeah, a little piglet. There was a line, a little tiny piglet, that piglet says where piglet says,

it's hard to be brave when you're only a very small animal. Yeah. It's me today. And you've got a rapacious monster staring you. Yeah, it's interesting. But in terms of what that means for me and my voice and my expression, I just notice how more and more I don't expect or need myself to feel good or right or well or even brave before I speak or show up or share, whereas there was a time when I would

only speak if I felt fantastic or knew exactly what I wanted to say or felt confident. Whereas now I trust these different states of being more and more. Yeah, I feel like I trust my voice in all its different intonations and expressions. Like there's more permission in me to allow the full, spectrum of my voice and who I am and that's really come through MCA because every day I'm different and every day my expression of myself is different. So, you know, it's going to be okay even with the monster over there. I'm falling me out. Posing as the inner critic, hey, Alexandra. That could be you today. Presenting the inner critic, played by Alexandra

Pope and piglet the prey I mean one of the things we were talking about and maybe this can be a way into our conversation one of the things we were talking about earlier is how so much is left unsaid when only the loud, confident parts of us and maybe people in the world

are heard and are freed up to express and how cycle awareness as you so beautifully illustrated there allows us to access parts of ourselves that normally would be silent or silenced or wouldn't have space or time to unfold themselves and how much richer life is

when we get to experience those parts of ourselves, firstly, but then when the world gets to experience them and we get to experience those parts of each other, so much more diverse and interesting and, yeah, Well, this is the topic today, but one of the things that inspired me to suggest it to you to is that when I read through the forms that the women and folks write in when they're joining the menstruality leadership program, the most core theme that comes up again and again is I want to join this program because I want to express myself.

I want to free up my voice. I want to be able to speak my truth. and I sense that cycle awareness is a key to doing this. Can you walk us into this the connection between menstrual cycle awareness and daring to be ourselves, daring to express ourselves? Yes, I always think of the menstrual cycle as this thread that is connected in to our deep self and it keeps us connected to our deep self. It's almost like this umbilical cord deep into ourselves.

And that as we practice cycle awareness, we are practicing sort of learning and discovering or connecting with and learning about and discovering ourselves, you know, month after month. And the cycle just persistently and consistently just keeps you, holding you to yourself. And the moment you abandon the menstrual cycle, you know, trouble happens with the cycle.

The cycle then starts speaking very loudly, you know. But sort of obey, if you like, obeying the rules of the cycle because there is a rhythm, a pattern. And when you try to override it, then you get into trouble with yourself. Your nervous system gets messed, you know, you get exhausted and so on. So I love how it is this wonderful kind of discipline and container that's keeping you close to yourself. And as you practice menstrual cycle awareness, you go on this journey of discovery. So you're learning about yourself, but there's a magic that happens.

And this kind of just keeps blowing me away how this happens. But as you practice cycle awareness, it awakens. this inner warmth, this inner connection, this confidence within oneself. It just, it organically happens. It's not the head directing anything. This is what's so magical about it, you know, because our heads can have opinions and, you know, we can talk to ourselves and say, come on, you can do this. And I'm not dismissing the value of that at all.

But this is organic rising up from your being. this energy that gets released. And I'll never forget, there was a lovely story. I was on a retreat at Hawkewood actually on the womb and womb yoga and teaching about the power of menstruation was a joint workshop with Mima Dinsmore Tully. And this woman who'd learned a little bit about cycloneis in another workshop I'd done,

said, oh gosh, it's been so amazing. really changed things to me. She said, and I said, oh, I'd love to hear. And then she paused for a moment and she said, I would like to share, but I'm in my autumn. And I just don't feel like putting out energy. And I went, whoa, yes. Oh, I said, absolutely. You know, another time. I was so, that was just such a lovely moment of dignity with herself and valuing her voice. So it wasn't just just about speaking about what she knew, but she wanted to speak from a place of resourceness and she knew her energy was going inwards. And can't you hear the affirmation of her being and the valuing and cherishing of herself and therefore her voice? Now, I mean, I'll hand over

to Sharney here because there's lots we can say about each phases of the cycle and how it does wonderful things to support us, to liberate our expression. But I just really want to emphasize that this overall practice checking in every day is building this. I love to use that word warmth, this inner warmth, this sweetness with itself, you know, in the way I've demonstrated an example in that story. And so that organically we feel our confidence rising. And organically then, our voices come out.

you know they just it happens the practice of cycle awareness in the way that it connects us to ourselves it connects us to something deeper something bigger as well it puts us in conversation with the great mystery in a way

it lines you up for inspiration. It lines you up for receiving yourself, receiving your essence, receiving what it is you are here to express and share in the world. Yeah, it puts you in this place of receiving, which I think is really significant

when it comes to the voice, because we often think of the voice as being this means of experience, And of course it is, but that expression, when it's sourced in having received something deeply, what comes through us is so much more potent and aligned. Yeah. So I love that. And we can speak more about how specifically that happens in the cycle when we start talking about the inner seasons. but yeah let's do that now let's start walking through the inner seasons of the cycle and the qualities that live in each one that support us to free our voice express ourselves receive our truth and let it move through us through words all of these things

and starting with the inner winter makes sense i think yeah i mean there's so much to say about the qualities of the inner winter, but particularly the way that it can push the world back and create a ream of silence around us and in us. And that quality of being ensconced, you know, being cocooned is so precious in a world where I know we all feel utterly bombarded by stuff incoming, whether that's our to-do list or our devices or the people in our lives who need us. I mean, on and on. There is just so much coming in all the time. And to have that place when we bleed, as you were using that word organic Alexandra that we're organically enfolded into this sanctuary is so precious when it comes

to connecting with our voice. You can hear yourself. Yes. You know, that's what menstruation is trying to do. Creates this silence. It silences the world. Yes. So that you can actually really hear yourself where your deep self can speak. It's so mind-playing. I mean, this is what saved me. It was feeling this extraordinary affirmation of my being at menstruation every month because I was not, I mean, I was opinionated and I could speak out and everything, but actually inside, I was not confident about myself. And I was being filled up by something with what my, what I was here to express. So it's about, you know,

freeing your voice, but what is it that you want to voice, you know? Menstruation, the whole menstrual cycle does both of those things. It supports you to bring your voice out, but it also liberates what you're here to serve,

what your gift is, what your expression is. And it was dropping into menstruation every month and having this kind of hit if you like yeah yeah and let's remember it was the pain that was that guided you to go in and listen exactly especially for those listening who are thinking oh god that this sounds wonderful but how on earth do I access it when I'm dealing with these symptoms in this pain it was the turning towards the pain you could say I don't know I'm putting words on this here but I feel like I've heard you say this you could say the pain was calling you to yourself absolutely the pain was calling me

to myself, and I fortunately listened to that call. That thing of hearing yourself, Alexandra, that you said is so significant when it comes to our voice, isn't it, to be able to hear ourselves first. And as you were speaking there about your experience at menstruation, really reminded me that what opens up administration is this void. It is this empty space that is. is teeming with life, with source, with the new. It's so fertile.

And that is where all creation begins and ends. And if we don't have that time of bathing in that and hanging out in that unknown, long enough to be able to hear, we go out into the world. You know, we move on in our cycle empty. bereft and cut off from the source of that expression. And I think so many people are in a lot of pain because of that, you know, they really are hurting and feeling lost and confused and disconnected and so on

because they aren't getting that wash of that fertile void. I'm thinking of the conversation I had with Dr. Cynthia. Ingar about the 13 retreats that she took where for four days and four nights at each bleed she was completely silent well she didn't speak but boy I bet there was a lot going on inside in terms of that fertile void and as you said Alexandra being filled up with what she's here to express you know guided by her andy and elders she was you know they knew they know they know they knew that that was the time of being, like you said, Sharnie, connected into everything to the mystery and when you could be an oracle and bring things through.

Yeah, it's a very potent time. I know. And why isn't it sanctioned, you know, as known and respected? I mean, what are we losing out on? You know, the millions of us bleeding each month. imagine if all those folks out there, you know, women, people who are bleeding had this sanctioned time, what that could liberate? I want to bring in a word for people who are listening to this and thinking, but my life does move really fast. It's very hard for me to have to find space and

time to be slow or to yield to that momentum of the inner winter. And I was thinking of something that, you know, I've learnt from you too and have had to practice a lot, which is slowing down in inner autumn in the pre-munchdrum in the season before is such an important key to being able to do this listening receptivity practice. That's a goody, Sophie. Yeah. And you were thinking of sharing a practical tip for each in a season, what do you want to bring in for menstruation? One thing that's really hard to get, take space for yourself. Yeah. And really, this is the challenge, but it's utterly, utterly crucial.

And you start small with 1%. You know, just your act of awareness, Sophie, and slowing down. that's a 1% to be a little more present to the moment where you feel that drop in you, even as you're a mum and have all sorts of things going on and you still have to do things. And then each month you can kind of up the ante for yourself. You know, there's a 2%, there's a 3%. And as your voice gets stronger, you assert your need. This is really important because I think often we feel guilty about taking the space

or it's seen as weak and a problem. And we don't want to be a problem. I mean, I don't. So the pain sorted that out. So, well, we'll make you stop there. It's because this is not valued. But the more you start to value it inside yourself, and we are giving you full permission now.

This is crucial. This is the most extraordinary place that's going to set you up for the whole cycle. The more you do it, the more you will speak it to others in all sorts of small ways, to your partner, to your children, to your work colleagues, your friends. It's like saying no to going out with your friends. There are things you can do.

I know you may still have to go to work. You've still got to get up and tend to your children. But maybe there are shortcuts. Now remembering a woman in her community, It was a Steiner school in North London and there was a gang of them and they would help each other. They would go, oh, it's wintertime

and then someone else would go, okay, I've got it. You know, I'll pick up so and so from school. And I can't remember her name now, but I always remember that story that they had each other's backs, you know. But it all starts with you recognizing that this isn't vital.

This is about your worth, wealth, sanity, well-being, a creative expression in the world. And the moment you feel all that and give yourself permission, my God, are you going to find ways. Oh, you are going to be so freaking smart. Yeah, and because we're talking here about creating silence and lessening input so we can hear our own voice, I also want to suggest that part of that empty space that you create for yourself is just an emptiness from all the input. And there is a lot of that we have choice and control over. In my last bleed, I did things like turned off the lights much earlier. So I didn't have, you know, the house lights as input.

So I had more darkness. I turned off my device much earlier in the evening. Little things like that, I chose not to listen to anything or watch anything, etc. And often when I'm driving, I'd listen to music, but I chose to have silence instead. So it's all those little things that created a pool of silence for me to drop into. And it made such a difference, made such a difference. I'm going to pause our conversation for a moment to share an invitation and a story with you. So the invitation is for you if you're curious about how you can use menstrual cycle awareness

to deepen your leadership in the world, whatever that looks like for you. The menstruality leadership program is starting again in February and the doors are open. There's a free webinar happening about menstruality. leadership and careers on November the 26th. You can find out more about the menstruality leadership program and the webinar at menstrualityleadership.com. And here's a story from Lorna about how her menstrual cycle awareness practice helped her to grow her confidence at work. And what the feminine leadership skills that she learned on the menstruality leadership program, which Alexander and Sharney affectionately call the dark arts, what they taught her about boundaries, rest and

expressing herself in the workplace. Years ago, I managed a team in Sydney. It was in financial services. It was quite a demanding role. And it was my first time managing people and I did the best that I could. Being an empath and before I was on my own healing journey, as a perfectionist, a people, please, I found myself sacrificing my boundaries to take care of my team. I would take on all of their struggles and their issues and I burnt out pretty badly after two years and I swore off managing people ever again. Fast forward a few years and two years into my MCA journey in January 2025. I was unofficially placed temporarily into a team lead position in work following a bunch

of redundancies around me. I wasn't really happy about this and was genuinely worried about how it would affect me again. But at the same time, there was a fizz of excitement for this opportunity in me. It was just buried really deeply. Pretty soon after, I started the MLP and I discovered the dark arts and fell really, really hard for this set of tools that I could apply to my life. Over the course of the MLP, I honed in on certain dark arts and tried them out in my everyday personal and professional worlds. And I reveled in the freedom, the wisdom, the learning, and the change that they brought me. Around March of this year, I was offered a promotion into the leadership role, in a team lead role. But I said no. I still had a lot going on and I wasn't really confident in my own capability.

But interestingly, after saying no, I did feel that maybe I did want it. Like something had definitely shifted, but I just wasn't sure of what. So over the next month, or so, I looked back on the time that I'd been acting in the role and realized, I was already doing it, and more than that, I was enjoying it. My team was growing and things were going well. So in around May, I approached my boss to see if the promotion was still on the table. It was, and by June, I was promoted to head of CRM, where I was managing my own department. What was really interesting about this for me is that taking a little bit more time to realize I could do this actually got me promoted into a more senior role because I guess there was more time

for me to grow in my own confidence and for my boss to then see that confidence that I had and grow his confidence in my ability to do the role. I've been in the role now for about four months. I've been nominated for a company award. My team are regularly celebrated in different forums. I'm still growing the team and very happily I'm not feeling that same fear of burnout that I had been worried about before. So what changed? Well I guess MCA taught me confidence. It taught me boundaries and really most importantly it taught me the importance of rest. But then the MLP gave me the framework to put all of this into practice and all of this has birthed me into a community of women who were doing the same work where I can get the support when I need it, I can be witnessed when I

struggle, and I can also return the same to all of them. I really would say that MCA and the MLP have changed my world so, so much in terms of what I thought I was here to do, or to be honest, what I was even capable of doing, so much more. I use my voice now. I don't stay quiet in meetings. I don't hold back on saying the controversial or the challenging thing. I don't keep my opinion to myself in case it's seen as disruptive. I interrupt. I challenge. I speak out. I disrupt. It turns out that I'm more capable than I could have imagined. And celebrating myself for that leads to more self-confidence and to my desire to grow, my desire to be seen, my wanting to help others and to spread this wisdom. It absolutely makes me a better leader. I have firm boundaries and work, but my team

trusts me. They know that I have their backs. They know that we're only successful as a team, not as individuals. We celebrate every single win, and then we learn together from any of our mistakes too. My boundary setting teaches my team to set their own boundaries, to protect their time to take time to rest, to pace themselves well. I, yeah, I'm beyond grateful for the gift of MCA and then the MLP as well. And for those of you who haven't done the MLP before, the dark arts are everything, absolutely everything. So let's move on to Inner Spring pre-ovulation and what is going on in this season of the cycle to help us to express ourselves. Now we have a comment that came in from the community here that could walk us into this. So this is from Jessica and she says,

I'm most insecure about saying what I think during the early shift of inner winter to inner spring where those tender shoots grow suddenly. In fact, I now guard that time of my cycle when new vision shows up in winter, I reserve it for my closest friends who I know won't squash the tender ideas that are newly forming. I mean, isn't that exquisite cycle awareness, you know, knowing your vulnerable times and tending to them, is that such an affirmation of yourself and of your voice? It's not a squashing of your voice. Yeah.

Yeah, because some of the qualities there of the inner spring, which is partly what I'm feeling today is this vulnerability and a sense of a new beginning. And I know often new beginnings can come with a lot of excitement and momentum and energy, which is beautiful. But they're also new ideas are also very unformed. And we don't feel a lot of. of confidence in them. You know, the inspiration we might have received administration or the way we might have opened to ourselves and what we might have heard in ourselves is somewhat unmanifest,

you could say. And we aren't yet fully inhabiting that aspect of our voice or that aspect of ourselves. So, yeah, there's an innocence and a youngness. in the inner spring that really needs to be cared for even as there is this rise in energy and this excitement and this natural momentum. It's interesting because there's a bit of attention to hold there because often we get really fired up

by inspiration. But just as that story describes, it requires this sort of delicacy and pacing. And actually, what I have found really, really helpful in terms of courting, this newness is to do things in small ways, you know, not to like expect too much of myself or not to bring it all out at once, but to do little tiny tests, little tiny, you know, safe experiments, so to speak, where you share what you felt, you share your inspiration,

you share your idea with someone who's really close to you or, you know, and you have that little testing moment because those moments of testing and experimenting or what actually fortify us and give us confidence in ourselves and give us confidence in our ideas. And I'm just remembering, you know, there comes a point in the inner spring

where there's this daring that comes in, you know, if you can pace the transition from that vulnerability and experiment away, that you've described there, Sharnie, and sort of play with things. There is this quality of daring, of risking, yeah, as you get towards the end of spring,

I think, you know, where you go, what the heck, there's a feeling of a sort of youthful innocence within oneself. It's like quality of innocence. Yeah. That will sort of have you going yes to something. Yeah. And it's a playfulness, because when you're playing, there's no getting it wrong.

Exactly. You can risk because all is well. There's no pressure for any particular outcome or even for getting it right. That's so important actually. And speaking of critics, this is where cycle awareness is so important because you learn how to pace or manage your critic

because our inner critics could be everywhere over everything and could really mess up the inner spring. But really the inner critic's home is in the inner critic's home is in the inner autumn. And when you have that discipline with cycle awareness, you start to free up the spring energy to be just that playful, daring, without worrying about outcomes,

but just being willing to try something, an experiment and see what happens. It's so good. Yeah, yeah, you've got to be able to get it wrong in the end of the ring. Oh, my God, absolutely. should be the absolute rule. I'm listening and drinking in all of your words because the inner spring is so confusing to me these past few years

because I just feel anxious. My main dominating experience is anxiety and I'm learning how to be with it. I'm loving it and just I'm just playing now and I've talked about this on the podcast before, but this inner maiden that, was she was literally told the young 12 13 year old was told you need to you need to think before you speak and if you and if it doesn't feel like it's worth saying don't say it I was told that

that by someone very close to me and it really thwarted something in me and so I feel like maybe the inner spring is right now in this moment who knows but I feel like the inner spring is saying let's go back and mend that and let's free up that because I was so confident. I was climbing trees, playing football. I didn't care about anything. I was just living my life, having fun. And then I, you know, puberty is, is one key for all of us. It's a challenging time, you know. You know, Sharnie, you're living with a couple of wonderful young girls who are, like, coming into this phase. And, yeah, there's something going on. Like, my attention is really being drawn through this anxiety to some healing that wants to happen.

and that memory keeps coming back to me and I'm sure I imagine those listening like everyone's got their own version of that some moment when they were shut down, squashed told to be quiet or they had some kind of embarrassing moment on stage where they tripped up when they were doing a pirouet

or like they fumbled the words in the school play or something and they had so much shame that they just thought right I have to be quiet or whatever it was yes Sophie that thing of thinking before you speak is such an inhibition when it comes to this self-expression because it creates a certain kind of self-consciousness, which at this point in our cycle experience anyway, there's just no space

for self-consciousness. We really are being invited to speak without thinking, to be utterly emergent, and to trust our voice and however it comes out. And yes, and in mending that and caring for that, I can feel how, you know, each one of us can liberate that shame that we feel about having gotten it wrong or, yeah. Which makes me think of the monarchy course that you share, you know, if there are particular moments around 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, whenever your periods first started to come back and do that course and rewrite your experience.

Maybe I need to do that again. It's been many years since I did that. It really takes some time with her. Yeah. What a lovely idea, Sophie. I mean, I remember now I did a number of versions. Well, before we created that course. But, yeah, I think you can't, because you come at it as a deeper, more intimate level, you see.

Yeah, you've got more awareness. Yeah, which is, I just want to go back to what Jessica shared about, you know, just really taking care of what of who she shared with you know she was just being smart in in sort of protecting herself and um i think i think that you know where there's vulnerability in our inner spring it's really important that to be thoughtful of the places we are in not to censor ourselves but not to expose ourselves over expose our ourselves to potential criticism, but to find safe arenas to let things out, to share ideas, to be uninhibited and get over-excited and to have someone just hear you and go,

my God, yes, yes, let's, you know, let's play with that, you know, that idea. So is that our practical tip for spring? Find a safe arena where you can let yourself be uninhibited. Yeah, and the power of 1%, you know, small. small steps, small doses, that is the way to go and then the spring. Okay, so how about the inner summer? What's going on around ovulation that can help us to express ourselves? Well, it's interesting because just following on from your story, Sophie,

of your vulnerability in the spring, the anxiousness, I actually did not know myself in the first half of the cycle and it wasn't until after ovulation that I felt the rubber hit the road and I went, ah, yeah, now we're in business. Yes. So I'm not, you know, I can now speak in retrospect

about, you know, what summer can do. But in my own lived experience for many years, it was, I was not grounded. And of course, I didn't have all this understanding of cycle awareness. But yes, coming into our summer, there is an unleashing. I think I want to say, in our inner summer,

we are at our most, technically speaking, if we've been tending to ourselves, we should be at a peak of our energy. So there should be this feeling of, you know, there being energy in the tank. So we're sort of buffered by that. But I want to say we are at our least sensitive at this time,

and that's a good thing. You know, our focus is, not so much on our interior. It's a bit like me talking when I was talking about the full moon. My focus is outer on the world. And that actually creates a natural confidence because you're self-conscious. Yeah. Exactly.

So our inner summers really help us just to kind of really get going with things. It's like being on, slightly being on top of the world. and there's just a freedom to the voice, you know, that organically happens, especially if you have really tended to, you know, if you've been practicing menstrual cycle awareness, then, you know, when that summer energy takes off, you can ride with it and also know, you know, where to put your energy. Because that's the other thing.

Often people get lost in the inner summer because it's like, they've got energy and they don't quite know what to do. do with it. You know, should I do this? Or they try and do a bit of everything and they lose themselves. And, and of course we can be all things to all people here. We are at our most generous, you know, it's the, it's the good mother. It's the good mother territory, I'm told, where, you know, nothing is too much trouble. And it's, if, if you're not staying close to your cycle and practicing cycle awareness, you can lose something. But the inner summer, I just want to say it's an unleashing.

It's kind of an enjoyment. It's taking pleasure in your voice that organically can happen. Yeah, and we are at our most embodied in the inner summer. And I'm just thinking of how the voice is part of the body. It's a very physical instrument. And it requires us to be embodied in order to really bring that sound and bring that expression through ourselves. So there is something about how the inner summer sets us up well for expression and for

showing ourselves and for allowing the resonance of our essence of our being to, you know, be seen, be felt in the world. And that, I think, can have a very magnetic quality. You know, when people speak from that embodied place, it isn't just words. You know, there's a weight behind what they're saying. And that's so much of what the inner summer can do for us. Yeah. And I'm just sorry, my mind is going in multiple directions here.

I'm just thinking about this need we all have to be seen. And I think the impulse of the inner summer is to have that need met, to have our expression, have ourselves be seen in the world, be heard in the world. And we all need a little moment of that, you know, might not be on a big stage, It might not be a big exhibition, but we do all need that moment of a kind of showcase. And I mean that metaphorically, you know, interpret that as you will. But we all need that showcase moment for something to feel fulfilled.

Because, oh, God, it's bleak to just be swimming around in your own ideas and your own creativity and to never have that land in the world, to never have that received by others, to never really share it, because that's where it's wanting to go. It's our act of service, it's our generosity. We create to give. So our practical advice, guidance tip for the inner summer

would be find some way to be seen and heard. I'd have a little showcase moment or whatever. you think about that. The talent show at breakfast time. Yeah, exactly. In your own way, let yourself be seen. Jessica can guide us into the inner autumn now. So this is Jessica, who we heard from an inner spring.

I'm my boldest self during late summer, early fall autumn, where I tend to let what's left of the outer nature of summer blend with the truth speaking of the fall phase. This is when I feel I can speak my mind. One challenge with this, of course, the inner critic, who shows up usually the day after I've spoken my mind and wants me to replay the conversation and maybe see if I said too much or if I offended, blah, blah, blah. This is when knowing the inner critic's tactics are to my advantage and I try to just distract it or wait and see if anything transpires, remembering that no one

cares as much as I care about what I'm saying. No one cares as much as I care about what I'm saying half the time no one is listening to me anyway lol there goes the inner critic ha ha ha thanks Jessica

I'll tell you that that is just the best story I mean it's just super just about the inner critic yeah because that's one of the things

that saved me about the inner critic I would say to myself because I'd be obsessing you know about something I've said and I go I would have it as

so on the movie screen of your life you know, you are in the centre. And everyone else is just, you know, so, but just remember in the movie screen of other people's lives, you are just a little bleep off down the left here somewhere. They are not obsessing about what you have said, you know. I tell you that is such a, I am not that important.

That's my other line. to silence my critic. Yes, gosh, that's classic. So yes, yes, and I love that combination, Jessica, of how, you know, you've got the late summer sort of chi in you still, buffering you with some of the grit of autumn coming. And that's what I used to relish. I used to see it as like the clouds gathering.

I could literally, I would sense them. you know, it was getting slightly, you know, cloudy in the sky now. And then I could feel this drop in my system. And I go, oh, yeah, now we're talking. Yeah, so the inner autumn. Well, what's interesting about the inner autumn? I think there's a ton of stuff we could say. In fact, you said it at the beginning, Sophie,

with your story about how this rage, You know, your voice came out in the inner autumn, but it came out as rage, which is having what happens a lot. It could also implode inside into depression, depending on who we are. But that unleashing that menopause, well, menopause does that too, by the moment when I talk it. But autumn unleashes that. which has been held. So if we've been holding back our voice,

holding it back, holding it back, it's actually going to come out sometimes ready or not. But it'll come out in a way that's too strong to handle and so on. So yes, it's therefore crucial. It's going to come out in the autumn. But the way that one learns to manage that autumn energy, because the autumn energy is very instinctual and it bypasses all.

I always like to say your polite society bites the dust now that capacity to be nice and so on just bites the dust and this instinctual roar comes through you this is your essence going I will not be suppressed comes roaring through

and as if we're a practicing cycle awareness and learning to care for the other seasons of our voice, then we've got this presence when we come into the inner autumn and we feel that stirring, because there's always stuff that we've held back, you know. It's classic. There's always revelation in the autumn. We go, oh, my God, you know, what have I done?

What have I said yes to? Or what am I really annoyed about that in the summer I've just been going, oh, okay, never mind. Yes. And now I'm like, no, that is very annoying. Well, like, that needs to change. Yeah. Yes, exactly.

And instinctual energy comes out. So the inner autumn seriously releases our voice. And yes, I'm just conscious of what I said there also about some people imploding. That's a bigger conversation. I would say that happens where there is real lack of safety in our lives. that to speak at all is dangerous, terrifying, and or where there's a lot of trauma, it's both. There will be trauma and just as such a fundamental lack of safety

in one's own being, that being able to speak is too much. Yeah, actually we have a good story, don't we have around there? I was just going to say that martyrs story could be really powerful to bring in here. So Marta, Marta story is from perimenopause, the autumn of the menstruating years. It's got a premenstrual vibe to it. Marta says, thanks to perimenopause, I'm discovering my real voice, my literal voice, which was not the same when I've been using my whole life. Those people who grew up in an unsafe household and learned quickly how to fawn and please all the people around them in order to survive. One of the very first elements that loses authenticity is their voice. We adapt our voice

to the unsafe circumstances. We change the tone, the pitch, we make it sound gentler in order to be perceived as a non-threat by our persecutors, hoping that they will leave us alone. It may sound counterintuitive, but it's actually a very interesting response to a threat. We play dead, like other animals do. We play dead with our voices. Unfortunately, we start to play dead with our voices and we never stop. It becomes our normal life and the voice we use to fawn becomes our own voice. What perimenopause is teaching me is this urgency to sing, sing out loud, sing constantly, day and night, sing for myself and my soul, sing for my life and sing for my freedom, sing for my body, sing for my cycle, sing for my endometriosis, and sing for the pain I

experience because of it. Thanks to the singing and to this new awareness, my voice is deepening and changing in many incredible ways. It's acquiring new nuances, extension and strength. My voice is becoming my voice, which is a weird statement, but it's very true. Oh, Walter, it's a great story. Thank you. Yes, so the inner autumn can seriously release our voice And then when we're in the autumn of our menstruating years, getting closer and closer to menopause, that's going to get stronger and stronger. That impulse, you just can't, you can't sense yourself in the same way. And then, of course, menopause itself is this ultimate, fuck it. I am going to be myself ready or not, world, I'm coming, kind of energy.

Yeah, I'm just really struck by what Marta said there about their voice becoming their true voice and how the inner autumn does that. It won't let us betray ourselves. And there is this real forging and refining of our authenticity and our authentic expression and giving voice to. our needs and who we are so that we can experience that liberation you spoke of at menopause Alexandra and in the same way as the spring needs this protective innocence to it the autumn pulls us into this protective discernment I want to say it's also has a protective quality because it's protecting the truth of who we are. It's very, very potentizing what can happen in the inner autumn, hey? Yeah, and very uncomfortable. Because sometimes it sounds

a bit clean the way we're speaking about. It's like, this is fire. This is discomfort. This is, you shake up things around you. People don't like it. It feels horrible inside. You're like, why am I saying this? Shouldn't I just keep quiet? It's like, I'm learning a lot about forging because I have a five-year-old who's obsessed and wants to be a blacksmith. It's so interesting how young people just produce their things, but we're watching forging videos. I'm watching, it is through fire and heat and pounding that things get forged. Yeah. So this is, let's just be real. This is a lot of the time. Hugely uncomfortable making. Yes, exactly, Sophie. I mean, that's the role of the inner critic, you know, the critical energy that we encounter here is the facing that, you're doing the forging work, you know, when you're turning it on yourself, that's the forging work when your critic, you know, turns to you and says, oh, you know, who do you think you are, you know, why do you say that, you know, what, you know.

and you turning and meeting that critic and claiming something, you know, not letting it trample all over you. It's very uncomfortable work. You often need allies in the early stages of working with the critic. In fact, just, you know, have some allies. But in time, you will learn to just keep meeting that critic as a necessary reckoner that is really, really daring you, it's like throwing the gauntlet down to you to dare to take your own side.

You know, am I going to take my own side here or am I going to just let myself be crucified by this figure? It's not great work. But my God, meeting that figure, you really become a voice to be reckoned with. Yeah, that's where the confidence is really grown, isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Yes. Yes. okay so in terms of a tip for autumn the premenstrom oh i've got one you got one sharnie i think there might be the same one yeah you go for it no no you go for it i've just no no you go for it alexandra no no you okay i will go for it all i can say is slow right down snap snap Because if you go fast, you will combust in a firestorm.

And that's when destruction happens and you lose yourself. So slow down and feel all the complexity of yourself. The grittiness, the and then the vulnerability. Oh, I shouldn't just sit there. Oh, no, no, no. just slow down and meet it because the critic will win if you go at speed. Yeah. And if you slow down, you'll be able to really hear your critic, which is hard to do when you're moving fast.

So this thing you said, Alexandra, of the meeting and the forging that can happen can only happen if you slow down and actually take the time to turn to face it. Yeah. and if what we're talking about is stirring you then and if it's available and possible for you have a think about coming on the menstruality leadership program because as we heard from Lorna earlier this ink is an incubator for the voice in many ways oh my god yes it's like a place where you can land connect listen receive, like, know from, you're held to get to know yourself and to do all of the work that we've been talking about today. So it's a good, if you're feeling cold and you're feeling

the fire with this, it's a good place to come and be and explore. Yes, it is. Yeah. I want to keep talking and talking and talking and talking and talking, but we must obey the gods of time and wrap up this podcast. Yeah, thank you so, so much. This has been quite revelatory for me and I hope for everyone listening. Yeah, thanks you too. Thank you very much, Sophie, Jane.

Thank you. And well done, Piglet for everything that you said. Piglet did really well. Yeah. She's still alive. I'm alive. Still trying to be brave. See, your loves.

Bye. Thank you so much for being with us today. If you're curious to find out more about the menstruality leadership program, then join Alexander and Sharney for their upcoming free webinar, which is called What Could Your Menstruality Leadership and Career Look Like? It's on Wednesday, the 26th of November, at 11 a.m., New York time, 4 p.m. UK time. And you can find out more about it at menstrualityleadership.com, and that's also the place to find out all about the menstruality leadership program, which is starting on the 20th of February next year and the doors are open for registration now. All right, that's it for this week.

If you know someone who you think would benefit from this conversation, please, please forward it to them. And also, if you could take a couple of minutes to leave a rating and a review on Apple Podcast, it's the best way to help. the podcast reach more people and we really appreciate your support. All right, that's it then for this week. I'll be with you again in two weeks now. So until then, keep living life according to your own brilliant rhythm.