The Menstruality Podcast - 96. How Cycle Awareness Helps us to Bring our Dreams into Reality (Alexandra & Sjanie)

Episode Date: July 13, 2023

What helps you to navigate the tender process of bringing your tender, intimate dreams and visions into reality? In our episode today - which is the next in our creativity series - we hear from Joni, Jenny and Chloe, three of the people in our community who have shared their current greatest creative challenges. They are all currently negotiating the beginning of their creative process of birthing a new body of work, expressing big ideas through writing, and creating a community event respectively.Alexandra and Sjanie bring wisdom from The Creative Cycle - the blueprint for creative fulfillment that they have unearthed from their decades of menstrual cycle work to explore challenges like: “I’m good at exploring but not so good at putting pen to paper.”, “I feel frustrated with myself as the ‘always dreaming big but never actually doing anything’ person.” and “The size of the vision is overwhelming and I'm not sure where to start.”We explore:The power that comes when we embrace the clumsiness and uncertainty of the beginning of any creative endeavour. How menstruation holds us in a non-doing state which helps us resist the productivity-obsessed culture so we can receive our vision, learn how to acclimatize to the - often huge - creative charge of our dreams, and listen for the next simple step.A practical way to kick the inner critic out of the tender dreaming phase of a creative project, so we can feel fully plugged into ourselves and feel held by our innate creativity.---The doors are now open for our Your Creative Power course, starting in September. You can find out more and take your seat here: www.redschool.net/creativity---The Menstruality Podcast is hosted by Red School. We love hearing from you. To contact us, email [e-mail]---Social media:Red School: @redschool - https://www.instagram.com/red.schoolSophie Jane Hardy: @sophie.jane.hardy - https://www.instagram.com/sophie.jane.hardy

Welcome to the Menstruality Podcast, where we share inspiring conversations about the power of menstrual cycle awareness and conscious menopause. This podcast is brought to you by Red School, where we're training the menstruality leaders of the future. I'm your host, Sophie Jane Hardy, and I'll be joined often by Red School's founders, Alexandra and Sharni, as well as an inspiring group of pioneers, activists, changemakers and creatives to explore how you can unashamedly claim the power of the menstrual cycle to activate your unique form of leadership for yourself, your community and the world. Hey, welcome back to the podcast. Thank you for tuning in today. I want to start with a question for you. What helps you to navigate the tender process of bringing your dreams and visions into reality. In our episode today, which is the next in our creativity series, we hear from Joni, Jenny and Chloe, who are three of the people in our

community who have shared their current greatest creative challenges. Thank you so much, love, as it was really generous of you. And they are all currently negotiating the beginning of their creative process of birthing a new body of work of expressing big ideas through writing and of creating a community event respectively so alexander and sharni bring wisdom from the creative cycle which is this blueprint for creative fulfillment really that they've unearthed from their decades of menstrual cycle and menopause work to explore challenges like I'm good at exploring but not so good at putting pen to paper or I feel frustrated with myself as the always dreaming big but never actually doing anything person and the size of the

vision is overwhelming and I'm not sure where to start. And I've got to admit I'm a little bit high recording this tonight as we've just hosted our webinar for our new Your Creative Power course today and it was such a beautiful experience and the doors are now open. It's going to be a soulful and fun and revelatory immersion into these four phases of the creative cycle and you can find out more about it at redschool.net forward slash creativity. I'll be telling you more about it later. Okay let's get started now with how cycle awareness helps us to bring our dreams into reality. As I've been preparing for this podcast this morning, I've been thinking a lot about dreaming and the nature of dreams and how the dreams and the visions that we have inside us are so intimate and so precious.

And they're so connected to the word I would bring is soul. Like there are soul being expressed into the world. And today we're going to be hearing some of the dreams and some of the challenges that come with the dreams from the people who've been writing in and I'm just so grateful to them for bringing those tender like tiny seeds that are just starting to sprout you know in the darkness of this mystery that is life and I was feeling so tender with it and it's um possibly because I'm now definitely turning into my inner autumn. Like I'm definitely feeling more internal. It's day 17. My autumns are getting longer and longer these days.

And yeah, I'm showing up with a lot of reverence, I think is the word, reverence for this whole topic of dreams and bringing our dreams into reality. I'm loving the word reverence it's so beautiful oh um i am um you know i'm in the latter quarter yeah well you know somewhere i'm i'm off piste i don't know exactly what day is moon i just know i'm in i'm always freed up by the autumn phase of a cycle it's really interesting and um there's a sense of um playfulness in me today and argy bargy argy bargy and sort of slightly um dangerous really because there's something i've got this phrase from that lovely e cummings poem you know thank you god for most this amazing day because it is an amazing day the sky is so blue and there's this line in it the great gay happening illimitable earth and i've been going illimitable earth illimit that's is that without limits today illimitable i just love this word so i am playful and i'm playing

with words and i am loving this word illimitable unlimited or yes there's something and that's what I mean about it being a little bit dangerous could go anywhere could go anywhere gosh I feel um so happy to be in your both of your autumnal company, I realize I feel very connected to you both in the place that you're in, in the cycle. It really, like, touches something in me that is um animal and kind of ferocious and sensual and you use that word argy-bargy it's just like it's so um powerful I'm just like and I'm on the other side of the cycle but of course so I'm I'm day six but I'm very much in the autumn of my cycling years so those energies are really that you two are touching into are present with me sort of ongoingly in their various different faces and colors.

My day six feels, it feels like the burgeoning of sumptuous sensualness. I woke up this morning loving the feeling of being a human in a body. I was really into it. And I took a lot of time in my morning practice, sort of dancing my way inside my own skin and just feeling the pleasure of my own being and my own body and um and I kind of practiced very vigorously and loved sweating and moving and engaging and so there's something yeah very substantial and round that's starting to form um out of what was yesterday quite a disjunctive experience I felt quite sort of jagged and disjunct and today this lovely sumptuous roundness is coming in it's nice

I can see it in your cheeks you've got these gorgeous rosy round cheeks today you feel very full today but before I start waxing lyrical about how beautiful you are Shani I'm really aware listening to you both speak about the cycles within cycles within cycles that we're all always experiencing all the time because so I'm very tuned into this I'm moving from my inner summer to inner autumn Alexandra's share reminded me that the moon is also guiding how I'm feeling and then you brought in that you're in the autumn years of your cycling life you know I'm in I'm in the summer phase of my cycling life like with the autumn waving at me every now and then. And what we're obviously very passionate about at Red School at the moment is the creative cycles that we're always in too.

And often there are many flowing in our lives at the same time. And it's fun to feel how cycle awareness, it kind of makes, to sort of call on a word that came up in the podcast with Minna Salami, it makes this kaleidoscopic experience of life, which is so rich and so multi-layered and multifaceted and it's beautiful, isn't it? It is. It is. Yeah.

So much texture at work. But it also brings understanding of oneself as well. Yeah. You just, you know, you understand the kind of forces you're dealing with and can learn to stabilize in them and trust them and not worry. yes and to bring us to one of the first questions from this wonderful community gathered around this work and this podcast um the first question is really around overwhelm you know because i'm aware that so i'm aware that there are certain phases in the different cycles that we're in that do feel huge and overwhelming and the beginning is one of those times as we've often spoken about in this in this podcast in this ongoing conversation we're having that like how can we hold ourselves

through the overwhelming beginning bit of a big creative process of bringing a dream or a vision that we're holding into reality. So shall I bring in Joni's words here? Yeah. So Joni says, I'm a fairly new recruit to the menstruality movement, but since being inducted into the Red School Wisdom, I've had a life-changing sense of purpose, which is very exciting. So she says she's just completed a two-year MA degree in drama therapy, including an independent research project exploring how menstrual cycle awareness could support drama therapy when working with female clients, which blew my mind when I heard that that's been happening. And I'd love to hear more.

So Joni has a vision that keeps coming back to her again and again when she's in this visioning chamber of menstruation. So when she's in that, the part of the menstruation when the visions can rise. And her challenge is at the moment, I'm wrestling, so this is quotes from her, I'm wrestling with the passion and excitement to get something off the ground whilst also feeling inadequate in my knowledge and experience in relation to both menstruality and being a new drama therapist and the size of the vision is overwhelming and I'm not sure where to start. I mean I can almost feel the shiver and thrill of excitement that I well I'm imagining she might well she might be having

it is oh I just want to relish that for a moment, that sort of, there is something there. It's like trying to remember a dream, isn't it? You've just had this sort of cosmic dream and you've woken up and you've got, I know I've just had a cosmic dream, oh my God. And you try to catch the tail of it and sort of gradually pull it in. And, oh my God, how does one care for that? It's so familiar to me. You see, the interesting thing is I've got this charge in me.

It's almost like I'm having a freaking dream now. And it's so interesting. Well, the thing is, it's such an edge, this crossing, because the vision is so, you know, it's big. It's huge. She knows this. Joni, you know there's something there, but you haven't got all the words for it yet. But you're sniffing something.

And really, and I can only really speak through how I'm, you know, how I'm sort of coping with that, which is, you know, is that I just make random notes everywhere about things. So sometimes I never even go back to them, but it's just I start doing something I do not think about well what is it you know what's it supposed to be what's it supposed to look like you know what is it oh no no no that's far too grown up at this point for me no no no no no no I am just sniffing and just letting myself because though I will have thoughts

you've probably got thoughts that pop into your head Jenny I'm sure you do you suddenly have yes yes yes almost maybe random thoughts too and you just note everything down do not get caught up in you know what's it going to look like but just I know I want you to enjoy I want you to enjoy and sort of feel. You say I'm wrestling with the passion and excitement to get something off the ground. I wouldn't. Don't get something off the ground. No, no, no. That'll happen. That'll happen. Don't worry. Just enjoy the passion and excitement and the bigness of it. Oh, my God. I mean, are you writing down all the bigness of your vision? Just start making notes and playing with things. And it'll be random and all over the place.

It's very important in the early stages, you know, when you're crossing from the bigness of that thing into the kind of cold light of day, because that's really what it is. You know, you're coming to the cold light of day because that's really what it is you know you're coming to the whole light of day and going what you know i've just had a save the world plan you know where where does little old me start to to address this and um so you just you you completely um take it seriously. Take it seriously and play with just riffing on any old ideas that come to you and don't have any kind of agenda about how,

what or when or anything. Yeah, I'm very much feeling what you were saying at the beginning of this conversation sophie about how precious these uh dreams and visions are that we hold within us and um yeah and Joni wow how your menstrual cycle awareness practice has brought you into this um place of being able to receive this knowing that has been there all along that has been there all along like you've been tracking this your entire life this is the amazing thing about visions you've been tracking this your entire life without necessarily knowing what it is and here you are now with this kind of new layer of knowing where something has just kind of broken surface in you through the experience of doing this drama therapy training and your experience of discovering menstrual cycle awareness through the kind of circumstances that you found yourself in,

which by the way, your calling has led you to. You're now having this new kind of revelation of what it is you are holding, you're carrying, you're seeing as a powerful possibility and by the way can I just say yes what you are seeing I am so excited about the possibility of merging menstrual cycle awareness into drama therapy and goodness knows I mean I that's beyond what I can even imagine in terms of the power and possibility that will bring people's healing and what it will do for people's creativity. I mean, it's just so hugely exciting. But the thing I want to come back to is that here you are, you've experienced this new kind of revelation or recognition of what you're carrying. And I like to say, what's carrying you? Because this vision is, it's carrying you. That's the thing we all get confused about. We think it's us us but it's the vision that's carrying us that's calling us

and i want to bring us back to the menstrual cycle wisdom around this because the menstrual cycle is our greatest teacher in how to navigate creativity and how to navigate our calling and menstruation our inner winter is the moment where we kind of step back from the doing in order to let life speak to us, in order to hear those kind of whispers of our soul, in order to feel the dream that's holding us, that's guiding us. And we always say, and this is really echoing and affirming what Alexandra said, when we're receiving the vision all there is to do is

just take dictation from the divine and to really spend time in that receiving there's so much receiving to be done there's something very powerful in letting ourselves just kind of marinate in the vision without getting into the struggle of trying to figure out what to do and how to do it because there's this magic ingredient called time that takes care of all of that, that kind of keeps the creative wheel turning. But you are very much in the receiving of the vision phase, which goes on. It goes on and on.

It's like a new friend that you are getting acquainted with slowly and gradually over time. And then just like menstruation moves us on, we move from that kind of visioning place to a place of clarity. Your vision will eventually deliver you to a very clear kind of next step. And it will be something simple and something that's not beyond your experience or skill, something that's not out of reach. It will be something that really meets where you're at, the skills you do have, and what you can do next. And that's the kind of thread that you're listening for. That's the thing you're listening for as you keep paying attention. And often we experience that just as we're coming out of menstruation. That moment of like ah I know I'll just um and it'll be something simple like Alexandra you always give the example of I'll just call someone so and so or I'll just send that email or

yeah wow I'm so moved by what you're saying I've got tears in my eyes and I'm trying to figure out why and I think it's because what you're saying runs so counter to this productivity obsessed culture that is driving us and the world somewhere we don't want to go and you're offering this very practical antidote which is well first receive receive like breathe in receive you know which of course our productivity obsessed culture has no time for whatsoever so receive and then listen for that next step. Yeah. And the bit that's really important here, actually, in what Joni and what you said, you said the vision is overwhelming. And this is a big part of spending time with the vision is that we actually need time to acclimatize to the charge and the enormity of what we're feeling. You know, when Alexandra was really feeling that excitement with you, and I touched into it too, it's like, it's such a charge. And

my whole system was lit up. And Alexandra said, I need to pause and breathe. And that's exactly what we're doing. And in a way, menstruation does that for us it holds us in this place of not doing so that we've got time to settle in and acclimatize and receive and just let something land and you can't rush that you can't rush that it really takes time. I'm thinking of menopause people listening to hear people who aren't, don't have a menstrual cycle anymore and who are on the other side of that and living their post-menopause life and how exciting it is to have these menstrual teachings translated into the creative cycle so that, which can then be used

whether you have a menstrual cycle or not so that that knowing of how to pause and breathe and receive is embedded within us because of our cycling years yeah now I suddenly feel sort of teary almost when you speak that, Sophie. And I'm puzzling over that. It's, I think it's feeling, it's not grief that they don't have a cycle. It's this feeling of being moved by something bigger and I'm really thinking about what menopause is about which is menopause is this an extended menstruation you're not bleeding anymore it's you go into a deep winter and that is the visioning territory so if you're actually in menopause right now, you know, really practicing that surrender will allow you to both receive something. But also you have to think about your emergence from menopause as you're emerging you're actually playing with what shani was just describing in the clarity and direction phase of menstruation when you're emerging out of menstruation as you're starting to sort of when you've come through the worst in inverted commas you know

the kind of breakdown part of menopause and you're starting now to feel the new life coming. Yes, if you've honoured the demands of menopause, then you will feel that clarity of what you need to do, the next step. And for those that are actually post-menopause, someone like myself, it's just very implicit. Well, it is in me, for someone who hasn't practiced cycle awareness. But I think just learning about the creative phases, yeah, holds you. Absolutely. I mean, there's lots more I could say on that.

Yeah. I'm aware of all the collective wounds, creative wounds, which then become personal creative wounds that get, can obstruct our capacity to receive, to say, to do what you said, Alexandra, which is just don't worry, you know, which is absolutely what needs to happen. And I'm sort of aware of many of the things that get in the way, like self-doubt, like these thoughts of who do I think I am? Little old me. I'm not this enough. I'm not that enough. And it sort of brings me on to our second person. And our second person is Jenny so Jenny's question is really about when you're stuck in the early exploring phases of writing but you can't put pen to paper so she used to write as

a finance and a business journalist and then she was an arts editor but then she didn't write for 20 years and now she says something is building inside of me that needs to come out badly but I feel very clumsy and unsure about my motivations what tone I want to have and even the content I don't know whether I should blog, write a book, write essays, place them in publications, write an academic thesis. I'm good at exploring but not so good at putting pen to paper. The early stages are unsure. You don't fully know everything and what I'm sitting with is the act of engaging with a creative endeavor uh actually brings you in to what this creative endeavor is actually about

so and what comes to mind actually is my experience with watching Wild Jeannie. And I told you the story of how, you know, the epilogue at the end, I had finally done, finally, finally got the whole book, but I still had to do this epilogue at the end. And I just, I was empty. I just, you know, had no idea. And then I was on holiday back in England, my family mother's home. And I just knew one morning, I just nominated the morning I was going to get up and do it.

And I got up and I sat down at mum's computer and I started writing something. And that is my most favourite bit of writing in the whole book. And what I came away with was, oh, so that's what it's all about. That's what I had to write a whole book to discover what I'm about with the teachings on the menstrual cycle. You know, yeah, that that gave me and that's then motive been the core of what I've been trying to keep unfolding through all the subsequent years so your creative projects grow you into what it is you're actually doing doing and the beginning is absolutely clumsy uncertain unsure and um no idea what the tone is

or anything uh and it goes back to well this is what i do and what we recommend is what i said to joni too which is to just do she's something is there jenny building inside you start just start with the something don't don't don't try to map anything out don't try to think what's it is it for this or is it for that? Actually, here's a good story. Kate Codrington, the author of Second Springs, wonderful book on menopause, and she's one of our graduates. And she was in her menopause sabbatical. I think she was at that point. But she just started.

She's a very creative soul all around point but she just started she's a very creative soul all around but she just started writing stuff and i think she started off thinking just as blogs she said i'll write blogs i'll write blogs and they were really good blogs and then one day she says i found myself writing a book i discovered it was a book you know so she she had no idea she was writing a book she just wanted to communicate but you know it was like bits you know so she she had no idea she was writing a book she just wanted to communicate but you know it was like bits and bobs she was thinking about yeah yeah that's a great that's a great story and uh and i and uh what i what's coming to me uh jenny well, the words which you wrote in your email, which I think feel really important to note, is that you are connected to something that really matters to you.

You feel this deep need to call for a different way of living, one where we all tend our relationships with ourselves with others with nature and um this this world of care is what i hear in what you're feeling so there is something moving you very very deeply that you're in touch with and um it's so easy to let ourselves get paralyzed by the how, how we're going to start to bring that voice to the conversation that, like, as in your case, you know, you kind of, you don't know where to start. And Kate's story is a great example because in many ways, it really doesn't matter what you start with. It only matters that you start. This is really, really key. And so it's about picking the simplest, most doable, accessible, pleasurable way for you to start sharing that something.

Maybe not even with others, but just on paper. So it could be in an email to a friend, you know, whatever is the least intimidating, most accessible, doable way of just starting to let something come through you. Because what Alexandra said there is so important. You will discover more about what it is that you're feeling so deeply called to as you go about doing, doing, as you go about doing doing as you go about doing there's something so powerful about doing doing at the right time you know um and uh um oh wait i'm having another thought so many thoughts going off here yes I want to acknowledge that moment there's like this threshold when before we take our first step I often liken it to getting into a cold shower because I've had a practice for a very long time of cold showers in the morning

and no matter how how much I get out of it and how good I know it is for me there's always this moment when I'm especially in winter where I'm warm and snug and nice and I have to go okay I'm doing it now and then I step in there's this sort of leap of faith or moment of courage, or I want to say a moment of commitment even, where you just make the decision and you begin. And the way to hold ourselves in that kind of moment is to make the thing, the first step we're going to take really really easy and really really simple and without it needing to go anywhere or become

anything this is really important to drop all the pressure of like um you know, how's this going to make a difference in the world or what good is this? We often laugh, and this has become our new mantra. But creativity ultimately is about taking the next feeble step because that's what it feels like. You're holding this big vision, and you've got to do something that's pretty feeble, feels pretty feeble in the face of what you're ultimately trying to manifest. But it's those feeble steps, one after the other, and taking the next and the next and

the next, which ultimately results in the incredible change we see in the world and the exquisite manifestations that humans are capable of. Those have all come out of a truckload of feeble steps. So this is really the medicine here jenny is to just take a little feeble step and then to do it again and again and again what's interesting about those feeble steps is uh is is is it opens up something as you take a move a new move opens up a. As you take a move, a new move opens up. A new thought comes. A new idea comes. It's generative, actually. In the moment, you think, oh, this is nothing, just sitting.

But actually, as you get the wheels moving, then you see more possibility come. Yeah, that's it. This is how we catch the wave of that vision is we just take a feeble step and that then kind are now open for our first ever live round of your creative power we're starting in September and you'll receive a super early bird bonus Q&A session with Alexandra and Sharni when you take your seat before friday the 21st of july you can do that at redschool.net forward slash creativity your creative power offers a step-by-step map to move through the inevitable twists and turns of creative living to manage your inner critic to return to this grounded confidence and to remember what Alexander and Sharni call your big bold thing, your unique contribution in this world.

Over the past four decades Alexander and Sharni have had the honour of working with thousands of people as well as deeply engaging with their own cycle processes to uncover this creative blueprint that lives within the menstrual cycle and the skills needed to successfully apply it in real life. And in this program, they'll share it all with you so that you can navigate the pitfalls and maximize the potential of each phase of your creative process to lead a fulfilling creative life one that grows you along the way so you can find out more and take your seat at redschool.net forward slash creativity that's redschool.net forward slash creativity I'm still really with this feeling of how the tenderness of the beginning of the vision and how I know for me it often happens that these critical voices my inner critic can come in

to that tender place and basically just piss all over it and really derail me and I think this comes through in our third generous share from and this one's from Chloe so I'll just read out some of her her words so she says I'm feeling the urgent need to bring an offering to my local cycling community a series of menstruality gatherings over the winter months well I love it because she's I'm feeling the urgent need to bring an offering to my local cycling community, a series of menstruality gatherings over the winter months. And I love it because she's talking about getting together to make period herbal teas and oils for womb massage. And it all just sounds so luscious. And she says, I feel I'm still in the dreaming tender beginnings of the process

as I can feel in my body what I want people to experience but I have yet to curate what the what it actually looks like but I'm really realizing my struggle at the moment is trying to fast track the details in order to have something tangible to write about on social media or to make a poster the practical bits and pieces that then interrupt my creative flow which in turn means I start to think I don't have enough ideas or content to run something so maybe just don't do it and this leads me to feel disheartened and frustrated with myself as the like quote always dreaming big but never actually doing anything person yeah Chloe Chloe's one of our MLP graduates and I'm just appreciating your um the insight you have how closely you're tracking what's going on it's's really beautiful. You're really noticing the truth of the place you're in.

And you're also noticing how your inner critic is getting in there and pressurizing you. Yeah, and I can really hear how you are tracking the process, the creative process for yourself, Chloe, and that you have this awareness of how your inner critic has inveigled its way in and is giving you all the shoulds of where you should be and how you should have all the details and how you should be promoting it on social media now and how you should have decided the dates and how you should have decided the dates and how you should have all the practicalities before you've actually really felt deeply into what it is you're wanting to bring um that awareness that awareness is so core in the creative process because our inner critics will kind of just want to

stumble all over the whole damn thing all the time it's like the moment we are engaged in any kind of creativity our inner critics are right there kind of tapping fingers you know waving waving waving fingers tat-tatting asking who the hell we think we are and how the heck we're going to do this anyway you know all the feasibility studies and uh so on and so forth. It's very funny, actually. So our inner critic is never far away. But the awareness of that voice is really important because it gives you space, it gives you choice and it allows you to really kind of take stock actually on what is true. That's one of the blessings of catching those moments of inner tension and inner pushing. And I like to think of creativity you put a should on that,

what a turnoff it is. It's like all the creative juices just run dry. The moment there's any pressure applied in that kind of sensual engagement with creativity, it's like it all goes flat and uh and this is so much of what i'm hearing in your story chloe is how that interference that pressure that should that is demanding you be somewhere other than where you're at is kind of killing the creative juices and disconnecting you from the real source of your creativity, which is at this time, the place you're in is in this dreaming tender beginning.

You're in this place of really feeling into what you want people to experience. And as you know, we don't go from menstruation to ovulation. We don't go from the dream to the flowering of the dream in the flick of a switch. There are lots of micro movements and steps that take us into the pre ovulatory phase, the inner spring, the, the, the growth, the stabilizing, the unfolding, the learning, the exploring, the discovering, the experimenting. There's so much that needs to happen on the way to that eruption of that

beautiful ovary. And yeah, and so our cycles really teach us about that. Our cycles really teach us to appreciate each phase and stage as being necessary and no one being better than the other, but that everyone is needed and that there's an organic order to how the creative cycle unfolds and you can't skip over, can't rush to the how or the details before you really let the dream unfurl.

What's coming to me as I'm listening to you speak, Shani, is this whole dance with pressure and timing. And it's so interesting. Our creative projects, I think of them as, you know, alive and guiding me. You know, there's an intelligence in my creative project that's coming, you know, that I'm serving. So there's like there's a timing in the creative process itself that I'm pacing along with my own human in the real world timing and there's this really interesting dance of pressure around that you know of the creative unfolding and we experience that with our menstrual cycles every month you know that the need for pacing because in the first

parts of the cycle you need to move more slowly and you know then gradually you get you the tempo rises and you're firing all cylinders of ovulation and you know you can do 20 jobs at once and then it changes again so there's this dance with timing and shani's just described it so beautifully about you can't rush that first stage. You've got to negotiate yourself in, even as there's this kind of outer world pressure. So it's really important to kind of negotiate that. So, for instance, for me, in the very early stages of a creative project,

I must not have any deadlines whatsoever. No, zero pressure. And then it's like a process of increasing pressure because you need some pressure to it's the creative tension that then stimulates something it's like the pressure it becomes like a container that holds you to things so now we have a deadline so in our case let's say um uh a book is you know the the law, the publication of the book has to be in. And as that pressure increases, you know, with the outer deadline that that then generates more. So you need more pressure, almost, I am saying in the later stages of the project

in the early stages of a creative project it's really important not to have a lot of kind of pressure or any pressure actually at all to produce so setting a date for when you want to have something out there that becomes very important later on in the creative process um in fact you need that but in these early stages because it's so tender and you are tender with it your dream is sort of dead now and you're dead now. It's really important that it's a very protected space. And I personally, every time, you know, I sat down to do a little bit of fresh writing on something just a couple of days ago. And I had to give strict instructions to myself to go write crap. Just write, you know, just put it, just write cliches. I put it just write cliches i always start by writing cliches and then that gets me going into something and um to to hold back that critical energy

because pressure brings the critic and the and the critic brings pressure. Either way, you've got to deal with that critic. So you're talking about two things, Alexandra, which are intricately connected. The one is a deadline and the other is the kind of need or desire for an outcome, like a result. And deadlines invite, you know, know the final product those things are very connected and if we just look at the intelligence of the menstrual cycle how it tutors us in this the the cycle end is a way off from the cycle beginning know, coming out of menstruation, it's almost unfathomable that

you will return once again to that end place. And that there will have been something that will have come to fruition and culmination and completion in that time. And it's really good, as you're saying, Alexandra, to really let the need for outcome and deadline be way off because that is what allows the new beginning to happen and to happen in a way that's really true because this is the risk right we've got these dreams that are so deeply personal, that are so precious and tender. And if we let our critics in, or we bring deadlines in too soon, or we try to rush to the results too quickly, we can very easily lose connection with the essence of our vision, with the authenticity of what we're bringing.

So to really feel ourselves in our vision and to really stay connected to who we are in the unfolding of our vision, we absolutely have to ban our critics at this point and we absolutely have to hold deadlines at bay so so good what you're saying alexandra yeah because this is where people go from what they feel to what they think they should do yeah what's true to what they think they should do and that's just a deadly moment yeah you've just brought in something so uh important shiny there at the end i've been thinking about this a lot myself which is this um you spoke first about your pacing this staying connected to the spirit of your,

the essence of your creative project. But then you spoke about remaining connected to yourself and in relationship to this creative project too. I mean, you know, and actually really for me, when I think about it, it is this connection to myself and being able to stay in myself that is the baseline for being able to stay with my creative project and to keep taking the next feeble step and what is the best way to stay connected to yourself? I know, ma'am. I know. I know the answer.

Me, me, me. Is it menstrual cycle awareness? Ali, you are so clever. You know that. Now I'm the teacher's pet. This is what is so magic about these cycles within cycles, that menstrual cycle awareness helps us keep this intimacy and connection with ourself that in turn allows us

to really pace the creative cycle and really stay true to the timing of the unfolding of our creativity and our creative project. And it's those two things together that are just magic and how about post-menopause what keeps us tethered to ourselves post-menopause or how can we build that tether without the cycle the menstrual cycle well it's such a big question that sophie and i'm going to see if i can answer it uh in a simple way it's a really important question you see i think the whole spiritual

endeavor of menopause is this utter consecration moment of ourselves of who are you know who we are who I am this moment where you finally really claim yourself in other words you really tether to who you are becomes non-negotiable now that is the great work of menopause it's the final piece in your menstruating journey and your task is to step up and go you know what this is who I bloody am I'm not going to try being all those other things anymore this is me this is what I care about and I'm going to make peace with that and accept that so menopause in itself is this tethering to yourself. And you have to do fierce work to be able to get to that place. It's initiatory. So then coming out of menopause, you've now got this clarity. I know who I am. It's the most joyous moment, actually,

to experience that. It's so beautiful. It's the gift of menopause if you're really following the guidance of menopause and of course our book wise power is unpacking all that um but so and as you come out of menopause of course there is this moment of more exposure again because menopause is quite protected so there is a negotiation with this tethering of holding to this tethering and so the early years of of postmenopause country are like, you know, you're newly hatched and you're sort of discovering yourself in this new tethered place. But basically, you will find that you have enormous clarity about what you do and don't do. If you're in menopause right now and full of uncertainty or, you know, coming into menopause, you probably can't imagine that you'll end up in a place where you just know

stuff. You just know stuff about yourself and you know what's needed and the place that you're in and it becomes non-negotiable, you know, and actually Shani, I mean mean you would probably observe me better and feedback things but it's it's implicit in me where i am in a creative project and i really honor that and you know i always at the beginning of every project that we sit down to i always say there's no stupid comment here everything is you know you see i'm putting the boundaries in around

the critic it's just it's just very core you know that you know the rules you know the instructions around the creative cycle you're actually held by the great creative cycle that's for me a way of talking about the divine actually sorry throwing that one in at the end it's like you feel held by the creative impulse of life itself and I'm serving that menopause is delivering you to that and that's what I'm serving so I feel timed so coming back to Chloe and her you know how her critic is saying you're always dreaming big but never actually doing anything I'm just thinking of people who are kind of living amidst a busy life maybe with a lot of responsibilities, work, maybe caring, financial pressures, lots going on. How can we work in little ways, 1% ways to get the critic out and to make space for, to allow for this protected space in little moments, maybe?

Yeah, on a day-to-day basis in terms of managing our inner critic one thing to be aware of is that our inner critic always wants us to be somewhere other than where we are okay so one of the most powerful things you can do just on the regular, daily, or whenever you notice that pressure coming in, is to just claim the place that you're in, in your life, in your creative project, in your menstrual cycle, is to name and affirm the place you're in. So for example, I should be further on with this creative project. No critic. I'm in the phase of dreaming.

That's what I'm doing right now. I'm simply dreaming and feeling into what really matters to me. There will be a time when I do something, but right now this is where I am. I'm in the dreaming phase. And that simple claiming of where you are plugs you back into yourself, it plugs you back into the arms of creativity, and it holds your critic at bay. And you'll need to do that a million times a day, or a million times a week. But the repetition of it is a return every time. It's a return to what's holding you. And it's a return to yourself.

I hope that was supportive for you today. I hope you feel returned to yourself in some way at the end of that podcast. It always amazes me how shame, especially creative shame, starts to dissolve when we share our stories around our creativity. And it happened in the webinar today for Your Creative Power. So many people shared how affirmed and encouraged they felt when they heard other people's creative struggles when it comes to birthing their dreams and visions in the world and if you long to have a loving inspiring wolf pack around you as you brainstorm as you play with ideas to be witnessed to be heard just have more fun in the creative process then come and join us for your creative power we have an amazing online

community and you'll also have your own peer pod alongside you we're starting in September and you'll receive a super early bird bonus Q&A call with Alexandra and Sharni when you take your seat before Friday the 21st of July you can take your seat at redschool.net forward slash creativity. Okay that's it for this week, see you next time and until then keep living life according to your own brilliant rhythm.