The Menstruality Podcast - How to Access the Power of Menstruation (Alexandra & Sjanie)

Episode Date: March 17, 2022

It’s incredible to witness the stigma around menstruation shifting in our world, with period policies in workplaces and more and more people practising menstrual cycle awareness. This de-shaming of the cycle, and especially our bleed, is opening up a gateway for an appreciation of the power of menstruation. In this episode, Alexandra and Sjanie share stories, insight and teachings drawn from their map of the five chambers of menstruation, which are a powerful guidebook for people wanting to access and discover and embody the power of our periods.We explore:What gets in the way of us experiencing the ‘inner temple of menstruation’, and how can we support ourselves to manage life’s challenges so we can experience the power of our bleed.How to follow the clues our body gives us, and slow down in the pre-menstruum and prepare ourselves to receive the power of menstruation.Why it’s important to focus on receiving and surrender in menstruation, rather than taking action on your insights right there and then. You can read the shownotes here: https://redschool.net/podcast/28---Registration is open for our 2022 Menstruality Leadership Programme. You can check it out here: https://www.redschool.net/menstruality-leadership-programme-2022---The Menstruality Podcast is hosted by Red School. We love hearing from you. To contact us, email [e-mail]---Social media:Red School: @redschool - https://www.instagram.com/red.school

Welcome to the Menstruality Podcast, where we share inspiring conversations about the power of menstrual cycle awareness and conscious menopause. This podcast is brought to you by Red School, where we're training the menstruality leaders of the future. I'm your host, Sophie-Jane Hardy, and I'll be joined often by Red School's founders, Alexandra and Sharni, as well as an inspiring group of pioneers, activists, changemakers and creatives to explore how you can unashamedly claim the power of the menstrual cycle to activate your unique form of leadership for yourself, your community and the world. Hey, welcome back to the Menstruality Podcast.

It's incredible to witness the stigma around menstruation shifting in our world, isn't it? We're seeing period policies appearing in workplaces, more and more people practicing menstrual cycle awareness. And as this de-shaming of the cycle happens, and especially de-shaming of our bleed, it's opening up a gateway for an appreciation of the power of menstruation and so in this episode Alessandra and Sharni share really fun stories and insights and teachings drawn from their map of the five chambers of menstruation which are a kind of guidebook for people wanting to access and discover and embody the power of our periods. So we explore what gets in the way of us experiencing what they call the inner temple of menstruation and how we can support ourselves to

manage life's challenges so we can experience the power of our bleed. How to follow the clues our bodies give us and slow down in the pre-menstruum so we can prepare ourselves to receive this power and wisdom and why it's important to focus on receiving and surrender in menstruation rather than taking action on your insights right there and then. Okay let's get started with how to access the power of menstruation. Okay, so here we are about to have possibly the best conversation any of us could ever wish to ever have. I mean, the best topic of conversation about the power and wisdom of menstruation. I'm not sure if there's another topic that we three would rather talk about for the next hour and as we ease our way into it let's do a cycle check-in I'm on day 14 so I'm just I'm like this summer breeze everything feels easy it's just such a it's a great day every parenting feels easy

the rainy outside feels easy dealing with like a podcast about a gigantic topic feels easy. Dealing with like a podcast about a gigantic topic feels easy. And I'm really enjoying that because it's not always that way. How are you two? I love that, Sophie. Well, actually, I'm with you because I'm day 15 of the moon. But you see, I'm a postmenopause woman. So I feel deeply immersed. I have two things going on. I'm sort of deeply immersed in this sort of expanded consciousness that happens more and more as you get older and sort of swimming of feeling on top of things so I'm both immersed in something as a post-menopause woman and then I'm on top of something and just feeling sort of light-hearted and kind of easy I don't feel so I don't feel complex this morning Who are you people? I mean, really? You're like foreigners. I feel like an alien, you and your full moon summeriness. I'm very grateful that you're post-menopause, Alexandra. I feel like I've got a bit of, you know, it's like a common language that I can make sense of going on there. Yeah, I'm day 22 and I'm feeling deeply autumnal

and that is, it is complicated. It's very complicated and precarious and uncomfortable and but also I was saying to you this morning, Alexandra, I feel like I'm in a bit of a vacuum. I'm not very functional. There's not a lot going on in my mind. I feel a bit vacant. And at the same time, when I tune into that, it feels so vast and deep and very welcoming. Something so holding in that emptiness. I feel like you're way down at the bottom of really deep oceans, swimming with whales, and I'm on a lilo on the ocean surface, drinking a cocktail.

Yeah, and you're casting a bit of a shadow on me well good this is a good um you with your autumnal self and alessandra's post-menopausal self can can pull us down into this amazing ocean of wisdom that is the power of menstruation and I want to walk us into this so it's really exciting that the world is becoming more cycle aware that the stigma around menstruation is shifting and that people are setting up period policies at work you know there's the way the world understands the menstrual cycle and periods is changing. There's still loads of work to do, but it's changing. And as this collective awareness around menstruation changes and we do this work to destigmatize and de-shame our bleeding and menstruation,

what we're watching in the world, what I'm seeing is this opening of more understanding about the power of the cycle and particularly the power of the bleed. And, you know, more and more people are practicing menstrual cycle awareness, they're tracking their inner seasons. And as they do, they're seeing the benefits that come when they make space and they rest when they bleed and people are noticing that something is going on in menstruation that conscious there's a there's a consciousness shift that Sharni you just really beautifully walked us into the the beginning of that you're heading towards it and so today's conversation is to explore this incredible power and wisdom that lives within menstruation I love the way you teach it you teach about the five chambers of menstruation

which we'll touch on in our conversation today and I experience it as a guidebook to access and actually embody and live this mysterious power and wisdom of menstruation. So can you can we begin by you walking us into your understanding, the big picture understanding of what's happening to us, to our consciousness as we enter our bleed and menstruation wow sophie what a question i'm as you were doing that introduction i could feel my whole being sort of stir shani's noddy yeah like i was feeling moved and sort of thrilled by something and nervous and sort of stepping into this. I mean, in many ways, this is the heart of the heart of why I do this work. Because the message I want to get across is that menstruation is this extraordinary expanded state of consciousness where we can experience very beautiful, very precious spiritual experiences that it is given to us. We don't have to meditate for hours or do some kind of physical practice like yoga or something else to get into the zone of these energies. It is something that is freely offered

by our cycle, by our being, our body, through the menstrual cycle, where we are naturally, our consciousness is naturally expanded. And in other words, I'm saying, well, I'm saying, first of all, that menstrual cycle awareness is many things, but it is ultimately a spiritual practice. And menstruation itself is like, I like to use the term an inner temple, that it's our personal inner temple. And when we follow the clues of our body, which cycle awareness will reveal to us, we can enter

we're actually our cycle is leading us into what we like to talk about is the inner temple that we can unpack that more in a moment and and this inner temple is an expanded place of consciousness in which material reality is sort of held at bay so that they were able to drop into something deeper. And every month when I used to experience this, when I was menstruating, it honestly blew my fuses because, you know, I dealt with a lot of shame and crap and all the usual stuff we all dealt with deal with and i'd come

to my bleed and i i learned to stop i had to stop because of pain this is how it all unfolded for me for me to manage the pain i had to stop because i didn't want to take drugs and then the doors of perception cleared you know the doors were flung open to this temple. Of course, it was a process because I was dealing with pain and I had to get through that first. But I would experience, oh, wow, this unbelievable feeling of rightness about who I was, this exquisite feeling of love,

of love being in everything, you know, just love, love, you know, it just used to fill me, love, and that my life was meaningful. I mean, isn't that wild? And I wasn't a freak of nature. Shani experiences a version of this. You experience, you know, we teach on this. This is not just me. This is actually what menstruation can offer, this extraordinary experience of the truth of who I am, that who I am is holy, is wanted, is loved. I mean, oh my God, I feel like crying now as I'm speaking this. My God, imagine the state of the world if every woman or person who menstruates was supported to enter that inner temple.

I mean, that's what drives Shani and I. I really feel it as you're talking and I can see the look on your face, Shani. Can you walk us into your way of seeing this and your experience of this power of menstruation? So as Alexandra said, it is an altered state of consciousness, an expanded state of consciousness that you enter. And I really like this idea of it being an inner temple because it speaks something of the respect I think that's required to to go there but also the amnesia that we experience when we're outside of this place what I find what I'm finding so moving now and is what I find so moving each time I come into my bleed and experience my bleed. It is this feeling of remembering. So I forget over and over and over again, every cycle, every month throughout my

life, I forget. And then I come back to menstruation and I'm reminded of this truth of who I am, of this love. And yeah, wow. So that's something that I really notice every time I bleed is it's sort of like, oh, yes, this. How did I forget? And each month, it comes around, I seem to be able to hold on to it a little bit more throughout the month, I still forget, I still have this amnesia, I still go into the everyday consciousness, I still go into that ovulatory consciousness, which is, it's just, it's like such a different world that the two

don't, you know, it takes years for them to learn to communicate with each other. But this is what's happening every month, you're sort of building these bridges between your, this menstrual consciousness, the spiritual consciousness, and this ovulatory consciousness, this worldly consciousness so I feel like I keep returning over and over again to myself and I'm so grateful every time I come back round yeah even from my high summer perch up here I'm really feeling my way into it as you two are talking and I'm thinking about how I experience it which as I'm feeling into it now is really a lot to do with a deep silence and softness that happens in me and a homecoming like you said coming back home to ourselves but not the self that is not the surface self not the the character of Sophie that's doing all of these different

things in the world but a to the to the deep ground of my being it's nice yes nice to touch into it now it is so good to hear you speak about that it reminds me one of the other qualities that I notice when I come into it's just connected to that softness you speak of but it's a real melting of my heart I feel so touched by everything things move me so deeply it's um yeah I it's um we could just call it being more emotional but it's so much more than that it's it's feeling like that I'm a part of something everything touches me it's like I'm not separate from it I experience that in a very deep way that's beautiful it's a beautiful reminder as well to feel things that deeply and as we go in this conversation we'll'll come back to this, to what's actually happening in this power and wisdom of menstruation.

But I'd love to explore, because many people might be thinking, why isn't everyone experiencing this then? Because many people would listen to what we're saying and go, what are they talking about? You know, firstly, I just experienced pain, for example, or just, just you know what are they on you know so what's going on in the world and in us that means that this isn't happening for many people most people the first thing I want to say is if you're not experiencing this there is nothing wrong with you that's the first thing it feels really important to say if this isn't your experience there is absolutely nothing wrong with you and it's not your fault and it doesn't mean that you'll never be able to experience this yeah so alexandra do you want to say a bit more about why people might be sort of outside of this experience?

Yes, Shani. And what's actually, funnily enough, what's come to mind first is an experience I had when I was 29 before the pain erupted. And the only reason I could know about it is because I wrote it in my journal. I was an avid journal writer at the time and what I wrote in my journal was, today the world is singing to me. That's right, the world is singing. The world is singing today and I got my period. I just wrote that down, day one, and now you, I look back and I go, oh, so I was having powerful experiences. You see, I bet that, you know, if you were keeping your journal and you wrote, oh, I'm just feeling so high and so good today. And that you had noted

where you were in your cycle, that actually it was happening anyway. These states are actually spontaneously happening, but they weren't linked to your cycle. Or you weren't consciously aware, sorry, that you were bleeding at the time. So I just want to say you might be experiencing them, actually. But, okay, let's come to this thing of, yeah, or why aren't I experiencing it consistently or whatever? But really, the vast majority of people would think I'm mad for us to say this, particularly for those that suffer with bad pain.

So the reason we're not experiencing it is because, one, it's not named. I mean, this is a spiritual practice. We have an inner temple. You know, there are churches, there are mosques, there are synagogues. You know, our temple is built inside us. And we get calls to that temple, just as Muslims get calls five times a day to pray. Actually, within our being, there is a call to that temple. But because that temple is not named and because overall the menstrual cycle is not properly valued, although increasingly it is today.

But I want it named as a spiritual path and practice, that that needs to be commonplace. And because of that, then, we start to honour the cycle more and more. And we are supported. This is the really key thing. One, we have awareness of it. Two, we are supported in that process of awareness because our energy and mood changes throughout the menstrual month. So when we get closer to menstruation, you see, Shani, when you shared your experience of yourself today at Day 22 and you spoke about this expansion you know dropping inside and all as well you know that is the beginning of you know uh preparation you're getting prepared

for the temple because i think you bleed what around day 26 much cycles are shorter so 24 25 days so yeah so you know those changes you start to experience pre-menstrually, right now they're labelled as a problem, aren't they? You know, oh, my mind's gone somewhere. I don't, you know, I don't feel quite... Can't think straight. Can't think, yeah, yeah, all that kind of shit. But actually what's happening is we're not seeing it as a preparation for coming into menstruation and then

thus changing how we relate to ourselves accordingly and also very importantly not demonizing those states as you know not good they're actually very very very good and that's another conversation you know we can go to on another podcast about the powers of the premenstrual phase. But, you know, let's definitely do that. I can't wait for that. We need to do that one. But what what I'm trying to get at here is your body is actually trying to lead you to the inner temple, your body being, you know, your feeling state, your energy levels, you know, and you pacing that, you will find there comes a moment when, well, there's a moment I love before bleeding where, you know, you want to just clean everything and clear the decks and you want to get all the jobs out the way. I just think that's so classic. I mean, that is just such a clear sign. Oh, yeah, you're getting rid of the jobs and everything. So, you know, you've got a clear day to walk out the house, you know, as if.

But that's the high dream. And then there comes a moment, you know, after that, where you've been fiercely trying to clear everything. And then suddenly the wheels fall off and you go, oh, my God, I've got to go. I can't do one more thing. And I can feel it in Shani every month. It's hilarious. I can feel it when I'm not with her,

you know, when I'm not working with her. Shani's just crossed the line. I can just see it because I know it's hilarious. And I remember it in myself. Suddenly I just wanted to leave whatever I'm doing and get away. And I didn't want to be bothered by it. It was hilarious. But, you know, especially, you know, your mums, both of you,

you know, you're in the middle of something and you go, well, Jesus, I have to go now. Sorry, folks, you know, and you have to down tools and walk out. Now, that is the call to the temple, just as Jewish people down tools at sundown on a Friday to go to pray at the synagogue. When you feel yourself separating, that's your being helping you now because you cannot go into the temple with that energy of doing, doing, doing. You can't go into the temple with that energy of agency and managing and controlling. And that's why your mind starts to shift and you find you can't just hold things in the same way. Because you have to, yes.

I want to slow us down here because what you're saying feels so important. So the states of consciousness that we're experiencing in the premenstruum are preparing us to be able to enter the temple. Understanding that the inner temple is a wholly other state of consciousness. We really can't expect ourselves to go from one mode of being, in other words, being in charge, having an agenda, being in that, let's just call it the ovulatory consciousness, into the consciousness that's required to enter the temple. So the cycle in all its wisdom offers us this roadmap towards the door of the inner temple. Throughout the premanstrument, you're being geared down, you're being slowly altered and shifted and prepared. It's this lovely preparation process of your body, heart and mind

so that come the time you are ready. You need to be ready. And then that final call is really the moment when you're asked, all right, it's time to go to go are you ready and that's the moment where you get to finally say no to the world and yes to yourself to keep that call so yes the pre-menstrual is this it's so intelligent the way it does that and and we will talk a bit more later about how to actually heed the call when you really can't because of work or family or commitments we'll we'll get there let's look at how to follow the clues of your body and being into this temple and this is one of the reasons why I love your teachings about the five chambers of menstruation. And when I read Wild Power, I went, has anyone seen this? They've

just written like a guidebook for how to access the spiritual powers of menstruation. I wanted to shout about it from the rooftops. And it's a beautiful part of the menstruality leadership program where we really go into exploring in depth each of these five chambers of menstruation but let's start at this separation you know I found it so helpful that you distinctly named that that there is a the first chamber of menstruation is separation this process of shifting from I guess you'd call it the worldly consciousness, or I think you just called it the ovulatory consciousness, into entering the temple. How can we know, how can we learn to track separation? In a way, you've got to develop the muscle of,

and this is the work of menstrual cycle awareness, you're developing this muscle through menstrual cycle awareness, and it's the muscle of being able to be aware of the condition you are in, in any particular given day, and being able to honour that. And there are some energies that are easy to honour, like you on your Lilo, Sophie, drinking your cocktail. The summer energy is so easy. What's not to like about it? But Shani, the energy that Shani encountered today,

brings in something other that's a bit more challenging or and i want to say dangerous actually because it doesn't you know the energies that get valued and that are easy are more the kind of arbitrary energies of the cycle the first half of the cycle actually um but actually they're easier to honor but especially in that second half of the cycle where you feel these more complex energies coming in as shani described being able to give space to them and honor them all right so you're you're developing this ability of awareness so you're following the clues of your being but it's more than just awareness it's your capacity to respect it and not sort of see it as a problem or wrong what's wrong with me today you know i can't think straight

and this is this is such a radical act we're talking about here because you know this this pre-bredism can it can involve so much rage yeah anger, self-criticism, self-doubt. These are hard states we're talking about here. Really hard states, Sophie, and it's so radical. And just having the question in your pocket of what if this is meaningful and what if this is preparing me to experience this profound love and union at menstruation? If you have that question up your sleeve, just immediately there is more space in your system to allow what's happening. And it's a practice. It's not easy won.

And so you're living the real world challenge of how to negotiate this phase. So in a way, you should be speaking to this. I'll let you speak in a moment. But I just really want to emphasize that this practice of cycle awareness really grows a kind of inner strength in you and inner kindness that helps you to become more boundary. You start to make more choices in your life overall that are much more supportive of yourself and more

boundary for want of a better word. It just, and you just grow in that more and more boundaried for want of a better word it just and you just grow in that more and more and that's actually very important because when you get closer to menstruation you actually have to if you're not connected to you well if you are connected to yourself you will feel those boundaries you'll suddenly feel i can't cross that line now i cannot say yes to that i actually have to say no and go and you will have built some well of self-belief that allows you to do that more and more the way I notice it showing up for me is really heightened sensitivity to mostly to sound just suddenly everything feels so loud and I've heard myself

say to aid why are you speaking so loud can you just be be more quiet and he's like I literally haven't changed the way I'm speaking and he's so he's so committed to tracking this with me and he still just finds it so the whole thing so mysterious you know how much I change throughout the month he still finds it so mysterious but yeah that's one moment where I'm like please stop banging those pans and he's like I'm just I'm cooking you dinner you know and it's sounds are too much um if he wants to talk to me about anything anything basically but anything sort of technical or practical as I can't even hear it it won't even enter me and it just it's like rejected and I I try and navigate this with him and say sorry I'm just not really in a place to have this

conversation and it's hard for him to not feel hurt by that but that is this I'm going somewhere and it's not where he is in that moment. Totally yeah it can happen in relationships it also happens with creative projects I'm so passionate about things and when I'm in a creative endeavor I'm possessed by it you know I'm so inside it and then I hit this moment and this is this is a sure sign for me suddenly I just have lost interest in the thing whatever the thing was that was so shiny and exciting a few days ago I'm so not interested in it not really interested in anything much outside of myself. It's very, very strong for me. That feeling I get, and I've often described it as,

it's almost like I've eaten too much food and I'm saturated and I just don't want to take anything else in. Exactly. Yeah. I don't want anything else coming in. It's like enough, input enough yeah so saturated yeah okay so we've well firstly we've explored the power of the power of what you know what can happen this consciousness shift this docking into out to love and to our being that can happen at menstruation we've looked at how to follow the

clues of our body as we enter into the temple to help us to prepare for this can we look at how to navigate this um like at some point in the conversation alexandra you said material reality is gets held at bay so that we can enter the temple. And what do we do if, yeah, inside of us, material reality is held at bay, but actually the world is moving just as fast around us or needs just as much from us? If we're parenting, if we have a big presentation to do at work, if life is demanding something, how can we negotiate and hold the tension there so that we can still find our way into the temple? Our way into the temple is compromised by all these outer things, the full depth of it, the full possibilities of it are actually compromised. And that's my grief and pain that

that is compromised every month because we're not supported, it's not valued, and so on and so forth. But it's still possible to experience something, and that something is significant and can mean something. The first thing is awareness. It's just awareness of what's... Because then you bring this whole other degree of relationship to yourself, of how you're looking at yourself. You go, oh, yeah, I'm going to the temple and I'm feeling wide open and very, you know, my brain has gone offline and I've got to step into a meeting and I've got to step into a meeting.

I've got to step into a meeting and speak. Oh, wow. So this is very interesting. There are two thoughts I'm having here. Well, one thought I'm having is do your darndest not to be public when you're in the void. Because that's the toughest place of all and really I I I would move heaven and earth to not be doing anything in the void yeah Sharni how's it going for you being public in the void right now and and if you get the opportunity, it's a really good practice. So let me see.

Yeah, you were saying, Alexandra, something is compromised if we can't fully follow the impulse. And if we have awareness, we can still remain connected to something. So if you find yourself in a situation which isn't ideal at any given point through menstruation, the ground you always have is your connection to yourself and how you talk to yourself, how you hold yourself, the kindness you bring to yourself in that situation. And in a way, the less the world is accommodating of you, the more you have to accommodate of yourself. And that's the that's the practice that's that's where you really get a workout of something very deep and very profound you have to accommodate yourself so much more you have to um be kind to yourself for how you are

in that situation because the world probably isn't going to do that for you so yes there's a blessing in that and that forges an even deeper connection with yourself and an even bigger holding in you which is a kind of spiritual strength then that that you can draw on, always. If you're loving exploring the power of menstruation and you want guidance and support to access it more in your life, as well as perhaps guide others to experience it, we would love you to join our Menstruality Leadership Program. We start in April. You can join us online or in person and this is

the final year that alexandra and shani will be offering the in-person training you can find out more at menstrualityleadership.com on the training you'll be held and supported by shani and alexandra as well as your own personal leadership mentor and a community of incredible cycle passionate people. I'm loving seeing the people that are gathering in circle for this year's training. So, you know, you'll explore a wealth of menstruality teachings, including how the five chambers of menstruation

can affirm and nourish you, as well as help you to clarify your calling, your unique genius genius and embody it ever more fully in the world you can find out more and register at menstrualityleadership.com that's menstrualityleadership.com i'd love to add something here so that that in itself, what Shani described, is an incredible kind of inner self-care discipline you're practicing. Yes, a life skill.

And then the other thing is when you have that presence with yourself and when you're dignifying this, there are these powers you experience at menstruation. If you have to be public, you bring those powers with you. You know, if you're able to pace this as best you can, then I'm thinking personally of myself here. You know when once i was bleeding i and i would feel so plugged in and i felt i brought a real presence to you know i've taught from this place and it's actually a very powerful place to work from the only downside of it is it's kind of exhausting because you're so wide open and you can then get drained afterwards and suffer coming out of menstruation you just can be because menstruation

is a time of replenishment and you know you're putting out but if you have to turn up oh my god can you turn up with authority i mean if you're menstruating and you're having to front up to some kind of business meeting or present something or whatever you can and you and you're having to front up to some kind of business meeting or present something or whatever you can and you and you are taking care of yourself you know i i i would really practice very strong you know my blood sugar levels i'd be not have good food on hand and so on there you can really channel bring those you are a channel for those amazing powers at menstruation in the world yeah and that's a really good tip that you're pointing to there if you do need to be public in separation or really

at any point in the early menstruation find a way to take care of yourself afterwards because it does take more I recognize in me it takes more from me to do basically anything when I'm bleeding yeah I'm thinking of the yeah you go you're gonna say something Shani won't you no no she's gone again well I I was I'm thinking of something but it's sort of a different track of the conversation so I'll just follow you guys go on I trust you let's go there yeah I was just following the conversation about this call to the temple and how it's this impulse in our being and it shows up for us in all sorts of ways and it's easy to miss if you're moving too fast. And it's easy not to trust it and to think of it as something else or to disregard it. through the whole experience of menstruation, through these five chambers, there are these impulses that are calling us into this ever-shifting state of consciousness,

or shall I say, they're helping us to acclimatize to this altered consciousness. So in the void you enter this expanse and it's quite hard to sort of stabilize and orientate and you know we've been sharing these stories about how hard it is to be public and to um uh sort of show up and how exposed we can to beat our critic and all of that. And then Alexandra described that experience of actually bleeding and how plugged in one can be. So there are these sort of different movements that are happening through menstruation from this vast expandedness into this deep rooting and grounding and there are these series of impulses that are happening in our being that are helping us to move into greater and greater stability in this altered state that's ultimately what the invitation is administration is to inhabit the altered state and to really be open to receive what's being gifted to us there. So that first impulse is that call.

And then there's these other little impulses, which I thought would be really beautiful if we named some of those just so that people can track them in their experience. Once somebody's named it, just like we've named the power of menstruation, once somebody's named these impulses, you may already recognize them, but you'll definitely start to notice them more and be able to respect them more and trust them more. So I wondered if we should sort of name what the the kind of impulses are that follow that call yeah let's do it there's sort of one classic impulse which is sort of part of this separation energy of suddenly you have to go and you know your mind shutting down and yeah it's just suddenly your mind you know shani's described it and then you'll find

you know suddenly you just don't want to move you talked about stillness actually and that was i felt i just went i felt like everything went still all the outer noise went still and i could feel my being just be still and just not wanting to move. Now, if you are very exhausted or overly stressed, this is going to be amplified many fold over where you find you literally cannot move. I have, I can think of one incredible story on that. And literally you just drop and you're in this kind of cocoon of no stimulation, nothing.

Everything, it's like everything is shut down. And this is actually crucial. It's your being saying stop. Yeah. Yeah. That's how I experience it is as the sort of grinding to a halt. You know, I feel my whole system grinding to this halt. Sometimes can feel like I'm hitting a wall or it can, you know, when I'm stressed and

stretched, it can feel like a sort of collapse or a crash. And when I'm in a more sort of resourced state, generally, it can feel like this beautiful stillness that is taking me, you know, that I'm being encapsulated in some kind of stillness, that impulse to really just pause, pause. I used to feel like I was pinned to the ground. Now, I want to share something really quirky that always happened for me and others have reported this to me, which is kind of the complete opposite of this, which is that the day, so I'd have the separation thing

and then I'd wake up in the morning and the blood was there because it often came in the middle of the night and I before I feel this incredible high in me hit with a high which is very different to the experiences the blissful feelings of the void it's high and I'd suddenly want to get up and I just I was in Australia at the time living there I remember just up early and walking down to the beach and feeling so high and ecstatic. And then at the same time, and of course, you can get intoxicated by that. And that's very, very, very, very, very dangerous, because you're actually in a very exposed, vulnerable place. And actually, it is, if you use up that high, if you go with that high, you'll exhaust yourself

completely and then feel completely flattened. But then i would have that high and then i'd have this simultaneous feeling of pinned to the bed feeling like i i could not move and it was like my brain was decommissioned decommissioned completely decommissioned and then i would be awash with all these feelings I'm going oh my god yeah yes and that that's that next impulse after the stop is what you described Alexandra that wash through of something and it's uh it's it's sort of an opening that well you pull down on you and then something in you opens up. Opens up. You talk about it as the secret trap door that opens up.

And all this love gushes through. Yes, go on, Sophie. Well, I'm really thinking about surrender now. I'm thinking about the second chamber of surrender because I've got in my mind what could be getting in the way of this process and I know that for many including myself yes I hear the call to separate more or less each month yes I see the blood and so I reorganize what I can to make space And then there's actually the allowing then, the opening, the dropping, the slowing down, that if my mind's been going very fast, which it often is because there's a lot going on, I find it hard to slow down and to open up and surrender and reading through the the section in wild power there's

quite a few examples of so there's one here from Veronica on day two reaching out from my cave to share with you how surprised I am at how difficult it is for me to surrender to the beauty of doing absolutely nothing so although that impulse is there there is this wave of surrender that we can ride there's often something going on in our beings that's working counter to it that's very very very very true our doing is a we also have a lot to do but it's also a kind of i want it's maybe a strong word but it almost becomes an addiction. It's like and because to stop is to expose yourself. Yeah, safety is a huge element here, isn't it? Yeah.

Having a ground of safety for people who have experienced trauma. Yeah. Finding that safety is so key to being able to drop and surrender because our society is so addicted to doing doing keeping down producing it's insane it's so so insane and it's screwing us all up um but that's what's valorized and safety safety is crucial safety and permission and also to feel you deserve it because I've had many say to me you know they feel they haven't done enough it's amazing how much momentum we can have in our mind and in our doing. The one thing that has really helped me is to pay more attention

to the premenstruum because it slows me down and it's inviting me into a more sort of instinctual, spontaneous way of being in a less agenda-driven energy. It's bringing me into a sort of more feeling state, more responsive state. So I'm more connected to myself. And that has really helped me. So I'm kind of de-escalating bit by bit. I've really learned that it's and then there's the call. I either don't feel the pull to surrender or I completely override it because it's almost too much to ask of my system to stop, just suddenly stop. I really do need to acclimatize to this different,

it's a bit like when you go on holiday, isn't it? It's like, you know, the first few days, you're still in sort of your normal mode. And then, you know, as you hang out on the holiday, you start to enter this whole different mode. And by the end of the holiday, you sort of can't even remember what it was like to be operating at the level that you were before the holiday. The premenstruum is, you know, it's like the first you were before the holiday. The pre-menstruum is, you know, it's like the first few days of the holiday. So you need that to really drop. So that makes a big, big difference, I find, consciousness of the pre-menstruum. And the other thing that helps with surrender is, again, I'm just going to come back to kindness.

I'm such a fan of kindness. In fact, one of my favorite paragraphs in our menopause book is about kindness. I've read it over and over because I just love it. But I'm such a fan of kindness because kindness creates acceptance in my system. And that is a form of surrender so if my mind is going and if I can't stop if I can just be kind to myself that's already a form of surrender oh that's beautiful just thinking about those impulses again Sophie you know so we've had the separation and we've had the desire just to drop and do nothing and in a way um it is to because in that drop you open and it is this place of um just

really allowing allowing the impulse of allowing allowing just whatever to happen in you whatever whatever it is but it's it's to really just keep your mind out the way and you'll feel it you know that's i said your mind will just shut down there's a reason for that because to get it out the way so you just hang out think of allowing it's just hanging out and then just letting yourself receive receive receive whatever comes you know we have this section in wild power we talk about take dictation from the divine you know it's like don't argue just you you know because you have well if i speak for myself every month i used to go wow i was like watching a sort of sonnet lumiere of cosmic you know fireworks going off in the sky and so it's like i was on drugs you know

it's like some lsd. I have never taken LSD. I actually know once, half. And I thought, never again, never, never, never. It's like, wow, man, wow. That's my ecstatic nature. But, you know, you're just getting stuff coming in. And you don't want to, you just, and you're just getting stuff coming in and you don't want to you just and you're wide open but you're also protected because this little protective scheme that comes around your menstruation if

you're able to honor the impulses that's the crucial thing then there's this kind of protected barrier that comes down that's your temple you're in and then you just receive and receive so any brilliant ideas uh you just write them down, write them down. You don't argue, you don't argue. And you don't... People often say, you know, what do I do when this inspiration comes? Do nothing. Just as a sort of general rule of thumb during menstruation, do nothing. Even because it can feel really charged people say oh but i feel so energized it's a different kind of energy that's coming through it's energy to be received it's it's

it's to be received and it's so easy to overstep that piece of actually letting it in and and instead you know wanting to do something with it so again it's this sustained receptivity and um yeah surrender more and more yeah oh my god yeah yeah so that's and then and then it's finally you know you've been wide open you've been in this sort of cosmic state but you've got to get back into normal time-space reality again. Yeah. Where the lot of bile has piled up, you know, is even higher than before, and the inbox is going bonkers.

Oh, my God. You've got to move at the pace of your nervous system. Pacing. Pacing. Here, the impulse that you will feel is one of um you know often people feel overwhelmed as they're exiting menstruation because the impulse is for simplicity i want to say the impulse is to um really stay present with yourself and keep things really, really simple. And that's such profound wisdom coming from our bodies, because what all that you've received and this profoundly altered state of consciousness that you've been in needs to find ground in the world.

It needs to sort of land in your life and in your being and so that final impulse is really um your cycle's way of finding that one golden thread to bring back or that one precious seed to plant for the cycle ahead that impulse for simplicity is um is important yeah exactly why it's so important as alessandra said to pace yourself as you're coming out because i hear from people all the time and i noticed in myself they're going really fast on day i don't know day day three four loads of energy or as this as the feeling of sap starting to rise comes in they start to move fast and then I've noticed in myself I lose track of that golden thread but if I I don't know life might be moving really fast around me but something in me is has the spotlight on this golden thread that has been coming through

the bleed and I stay focused and then in surprising moments it lands in the shower walking the dog doing the shopping list suddenly I think oh that's it that's how that wisdom translates into real you know our normal time space reality I can do that this month yeah yeah it's it's such a magical um part of menstruation this final chamber I love it because it really feels like you get delivered this golden envelope with, you know, just the message of exactly what you need to do. Your kind of next step is sort of handed to you and it comes in, as you said, just sort of like a fleeting something. And if you aren't paying attention, you miss it. I want to point to a couple of resources for people listening. So I think one thing that we won't have chance to really talk about right now is how can we give ourselves the 1% of the things that we've been talking about.

So I really want to point people to Wild Power there to read about the 1%. the one percent and also if this is sounding really far out like how would I possibly have chance to navigate this kind of experience that's why you created the idea of the big bleed finding a way to craft out the time and space to be with your process of menstruation in a in a fuller way and again I want to point people to the to wild power the book where you walk through the process of the big bleed and if this is if you're listening to this and thinking oh I would need to know more about these five chambers then I really recommend exploring the menstruality leadership program because that's the main place where you teach this yep yeah it's the only place where we teach it actually yeah and we go into it in real depth how does it go down with people you know

Sophie it's such a jewel in within the whole training because by the time we get to the five chambers, it feels like the whole group has dropped into this deeper place, both within themselves, but with, you know, as a group. And when we do the five chambers work, it often feels to me, Alexandra, I know you have this experience, like we all enter the temple together and it is so profound to spend such a good amount of time in a group of people all experiencing exploring this together it feels like we go into the heart of the heart of the heart of the training and it's a very precious part of the training. Oh you know Sophie we are so passionate about restoring this knowledge and we've gotta be smart and pragmatic because as you say you know it's not supported it's not valued so how can we start to move towards recovering this?

And we have developed our, you know, our 1%. You know, you look at your schedule and you go, oh, my God, there's no space to bleed, except that you are going to bleed. So what you have to do is just these small micro changes. Each month, you just do something more than before and we're talking 1% and in our book 1% is always doable and I'm going to give an example of a 1% it's just in your own mind this is just in your own mind you actually give yourself permission to take space for yourself administration that this is something you know valid to do you but only you can do that you've got to give yourself permission that is

one that's a 1% and then the thing I love about 1% is that they multiply very very very very fast you'll find suddenly it's like 50% and nothing is going to get in the way of you having some time and space for yourself. So you start getting smart about your diary. You get really smart about your diary. And, you know, you say to people, no, I'm busy that night when you know that you're going to be bleeding. And then in my mind, I'm going and busy doing nothing. So, you know, you block out, you really look at your diary and also you bring your family on board. And then, of course, you're bringing your workplaces on board

as we're bringing cycle awareness into the workplace that's evolving but you get you get your family on board and you get the family calendar on board in a sense you know there's a calendar where it's actually marked in you know it's harder if your cycle isn't regular that is hard that's another conversation really but um but still just the giving yourself permission that's the one percent and then you start to make these other changes and then it might be just an evening off or you know something you treat yourself in some way. And then, you know, it grows and grows from there. So that's the 1%.

The 1% is always doable. What a great conversation. I hope you enjoyed it. If you're enjoying the podcast, please come over to Apple Podcasts and leave us a review and subscribe there and if this topic stirred you and you know it's something that you'd like to explore in more depth we invite you to visit menstrualityleadership.com and come and explore

if our menstruality leadership program is for you on the program we look into how your cycle is initiating you each cycle month and guiding you to live your calling. We dive deeply into the inner architecture of the menstrual cycle, including how to channel the powers and meet the challenges of power of these five chambers of menstruation and how they can unlock the keys to health and vitality, fulfillment and spiritual growth. And we also look at how these five chambers mirror the five stages of menopause. You'll learn the four psycho-spiritual menstruality foundations for healing and how to access the true depth of menstrual cycle awareness as a potent form of medicine that can ease symptoms in and of itself. You'll get to know your cycle and yourself in ways that you might not have imagined. You'll get a detailed and intimate grounding into your own cycle pattern through its various seasons and layers as well as an ability to read your cycle's signs for insights

into your own nature and your own needs and your calling and you'll develop an inner authority to share and facilitate this knowledge and a deeper understanding of menstruality that can be used to hold menstruality circles or offer menstruality coaching or apply menstruality within your chosen field or profession whether that's healing, art, teaching, coaching and of course you'll belong to this incredible community. The calibre and strength and wisdom and humour and honesty of the people that join us for these programmes and the people that are gathering for this year is really blowing me away. And these people will be on your side with support and insight and cheerleading and extraordinary wisdom and skills to share. So we're starting in April. There's a couple of weeks left to register.

Registration closes on the 31st of March. And you can find out more at menstrualityleadership.com. Okay, I look forward to being with you again next week for our next episode of the menstruality podcast. And until then, keep living life according to your own brilliant rhythm.