The Menstruality Podcast - How to Work With PMS and PMDD Using Menstrual Cycle Awareness (Alexandra & Sjanie)

Episode Date: July 10, 2025

Today we’re sharing part two of our conversation about PMS - premenstrual syndrome - and PMDD - Premenstrual dysphoria disorder. We began this exploration in episode 202, How Menstrual Cycle Awareness Can Transform PMS and PMDD, where we discussed the premenstrual phase of the cycle as a gateway to our power, and premenstrual symptoms as a truth-telling signal or a warning sign from the deepest part of ourselves about all that needs to be healed within us, and in our world. In part two we get practical and look at how menstrual cycle awareness can help you if you experience extreme pre-menstrual disturbance, through the lens of some brilliant questions and stories that the community gathered around this podcast have sent to us. They include what to do if you’re in premenstrual hell right now, the most important practical actions to take that genuinely help with symptoms and why cycle-aware therapy or professional support is often essential, especially if you’ve experienced trauma. We explore:The three menstruality ‘medicines’ which can help PMS and PMDD: cycle tracking, premenstrual power and rest at menstruation.The small, repeated acts of self-care and boundary-setting can shift everything; and we share our favourite personal examples like dealing with premenstrual rage by roaring out of the car window and smashing plates!The power of writing a love letter to yourself in your ‘good’ part of the cycle. ---Receive our free video training: Love Your Cycle, Discover the Power of Menstrual Cycle Awareness to Revolutionise Your Life - www.redschool.net/love---The Menstruality Podcast is hosted by Red School. We love hearing from you. To contact us, email [e-mail]---Social media:Red School: @redschool - https://www.instagram.com/red.schoolSophie Jane Hardy: @sophie.jane.hardy - https://www.instagram.com/sophie.jane.hardy

Welcome to the Menstruality podcast where we share inspiring conversations about the power of menstrual cycle awareness and conscious menopause. This podcast is brought to you by Red Skool where we're training the menstruality leaders of the future. I'm your host Sophie Jane Hardy and I'll be joined often by Red School's founders Alexandra and Sharni as well as an inspiring group of pioneers, activists, change makers and creatives to explore how you can unashamedly claim the power of the menstrual cycle to activate your unique form of leadership for yourself, your community and the world. your community and the world. Hey, welcome back. I hope you're doing okay today. Thank you so much for joining us. Today

is part two of our conversation about PMS and PMDD. That's premenstrual syndrome and premenstrual dysphoric disorder. We began this exploration in episode 202, how menstrual cycle awareness can transform PMS and PMDD. And in that conversation, we talked about the pre-menstrual phase of the menstrual cycle as a gateway to power and pre-menstrual symptoms as a truth telling signal or a warning sign from the deepest parts of ourselves about all that needs to be healed within us and within the world around us. And in this conversation, this part two, we get practical and look at how menstrual cycle awareness can help you if you experience extreme premenstrual disturbance. Through the lens of some brilliant questions and stories that you

shared, the community gathered around this podcast. Thank you so much for sending those in. They include what to do if you're in pre-menstrual hell right now, the most important practical actions to take that genuinely help with symptoms, and why cycle-aware therapy or professional support is often essential, especially if you've experienced trauma in your life. And just before we get started, I want to remind you that we've changed our rhythm with the podcast. Just in case you're wondering where last week's episode went, we're going to be releasing episodes every other week from now on because Red School is focusing on some new exciting

projects and I'm stepping back a little because Arie's going to school, my son is going to school in September and my time is opening up to focus on writing and my one-to-one cyclical business coaching practice. But if you'd like to still have your weekly dose of menstruality, please go back to the archives to catch up on episodes you've missed. There's over 200 now and we're going to highlight one of the most popular ones each week in Red School's weekly newsletter which is called the Red Thread and you can register to receive that for free at redschool.net. Okay let's get started with the conversation. Well good morning you two, I've been really looking forward to this part two of this conversation. Last time we really got into looking at PMS and PMDD really through the lens of the power

of the pre-menstrual phase of the cycle. And today we're all about getting practical with how to actually practice menstrual cycle awareness when you have PMS and PMDD. And Alexandra, you were saying something so important before we pressed record just now. Yeah, it's just really important to acknowledge that those who are experiencing intense PM or PMDD right now, it can be so hard and incredibly overwhelming. And just to emphasise that there is, there's nothing wrong with you, this is not a personal failing of any kind and that with everything

we share today, even if some of it feels like quite far away or difficult to access, that what we really want to focus on is making these one percent shifts right. Yes exactly that Sophie to just find the one percent the small step that we can do because each step we take is like a yes towards ourselves and each step opens up something more and builds something more in us. something more in us. I think that's really important to say. So just find the smallest shift you can make and stay true to that. Yeah, well let's start with our cycle check-in like we always do. And last time we did an emotional cycle check-in. A cycle check-in through the lens of the emotions and how your cycle days impacting you. So do you feel like going first, Sian? You never do, but I mean, just ask you anyway.

Yeah, since you asked so nicely, I will. So I'm day three. And I think to answer the question through an emotional lens, I need to start with my body, because the thing that is strongest for me today is this physical pain that I feel in my body. And I don't mean menstrual pain, I just mean my body feels riddled with pain. Yeah, it's very much a reflection of the emotional pain that I'm feeling and I can't really separate those two things. And just as I was doing my cycle check in this morning and really noticing how I am, I was reflecting on how helpful it is that I know that part of the power of menstruation

is this power to detoxify and purify our experience. And just with the huge amount of intensity that I've been feeling lately. It's not surprising that I'm experiencing this pain physically and emotionally because it's coming up to be released. It's coming up to be let go of. And that's a very different kind of orientation that I have because of my practice of cycle awareness and my understanding of the power of each phase of the cycle. And if I didn't have that, I would really wonder what was wrong with me or what was, you know, what was going on. So yeah, in much the way that when we do a cleanse, like a diet detox, all the, all the toxification comes to the surface and we experience all the symptoms of that.

The same is true at menstruation and I'm having that kind of detoxification experience happening. Yeah. So my brain is very underground, underwater and not really functioning. Sounds perfect for a really intense podcast interview. Perfect conditions. Well you joke, but as you know, we say there is no wrong day of the cycle to be on. There's a perfection to it all. And we named this in the part one of this series, but you're also in the inner autumn of your menstruating years. So there's a pre-menstrual tone to every phase of your cycle at the moment,

right? Yeah, very, very much so. The power of the pre-menstruum, which we touched on last week, is the power that I'm negotiating. And it's a serious power, which demands a serious amount of self-holding and a serious amount of surrender, which is where menstruation comes into it. That's making me think of something

that someone in our community said in response to last week's episode Sophie who has taken a big journey with PMDD herself and we shared some of her story last time but she talks about how serious this is she says what helped me to hear your teachings around PMDD around the Inner Autumn was the way you dedicated an entire section of wild power to the critic and also how you didn't pussy foot around the fact that this is big work, this power malarkey isn't all sunshine and rainbows. For the first time I felt like someone actually got it and they were validating my experience and offering me an alternative. This is big, serious work we're talking about. Sorry, I'm being naughty and going way off-piece with our cycle check in here. Alexandra?

Well, you know, speaking of autumn and power and the big work with the inner critic, so I think of myself as in the autumn of my menstruating life, the autumn of my life, the late autumn. The critic is an ever-present reality. It's an ever, ever deepening into that power as a pre-menstruum of the inner autumn, and particularly for me this late phase, and then of course what that prepares me more for the sort of winter of my life, that critic work, god I am grateful for it, I am so freaking grateful for it because it's a real discipline you have to build inside yourself. So for me right now it's day 23 of the moon, roughly, something like that. So I'm in the last sort of quarter of the moon, of the waning moon. And this morning I woke up feeling an emptiness,

not a bad emptiness, just suddenly a sort of vulnerability there, subtle vulnerability, and how easily that could be invaded. So I don't mind emptiness, I don't mind empty space, but this was an emptiness that I hadn't stabilized in. And so all the things that, you gear and dealing with things, but it would have been out of, I would have been out of myself. So I really spent the morning just trying to bring presence and finding a place of settling with that. I don't feel bad. I just am aware of the permeability of this place and the kind of awareness or discipline of presence that it requires.

Wow, that's fascinating. A stable emptiness as opposed to an emptiness where everything can come flooding in. That's really interesting. Yeah, I always love hearing deep nuance and subtlety of your cycle check-ins. I feel like I learn so much from them. I'm on day 22 and I feel incredibly buoyant in this, just the beginning of my inner autumn moment here. And I'm seeing so distinctly the contrast between 10, 15 years ago in my inner autumn and where I am today because we're having this conversation. And I shared a bit about this in the part one that I used to be just really, I am very disturbed for at least a week each cycle month with what is it frustration and angst and annoyance that could very quickly become incendiary rage and anger at anyone really and then intense self

hatred that would take me into these very spiralling dark places. It's just night and day, it's so different now because of this work but I can feel that I'm particularly buoyed today because I did some really big creative work yesterday, like a piece of just personal creative work that I'm just doing for the love of it, not for anyone else, not for money, not for anything, just because it's pouring through me and it won't stop, and for me that is such medicine in my inner autumn when I'm given to something creatively. Like I only got five hours sleep and normally I'm a bitch when I've only had five hours sleep but I just I feel high from the creativity so I'm just clocking that yeah. I'm so grateful too for the inner critic

work and for cycle awareness. Oh, I just want to second that, Sophie. The creativity solves everything as far as I'm concerned. And it gives the same prashani too. Oh, it's like, it's like fuel, it just energy, you know, comes back, you know, on all levels, meaning. Oh, it's glorious. Yes. I think it was multifaceted the suffering I experienced in autumn, I think a lot of it was because there was so much that wanted to pour through me creatively but I was stifled, stuck, silenced, repressed, suppressed, young, and I hadn't found it yet. And I found my thing, you know, found my things now. And I, and oh gosh, yeah. So creativity is medicine here is something we weren't planning on talking about today, but we could probably have a whole other episode about that. Yeah. But what we are going to talk about is getting practical around how menstrual cycle awareness can help with PMDD and PMS Not just in theory. We got more into the theory last time but really in practice and

The way in that we thought to speak about this is to talk about these three menstruality medicines menstrual cycle awareness Being the first one the second one understanding premenstrual power and the third one being menstrual cycle awareness being the first one, the second one understanding pre-menstrual power and the third one being menstrual rest. Yeah, so maybe we should start by just saying a little bit about menstrual cycle awareness as the foundational medicine for PMS and PMDD. And it's foundational because of how the practice, the very simple, specific practice of doing a cycle check-in every day, connects you to yourself. And that is everything when it comes to PMS and PMDD,

because this connection to yourself helps to build self awareness and self knowledge. With every cycle check in that you do, you're helping to make what goes ordinarily unnoticed or what is ordinarily unconscious, conscious. You really are in a process every day of bringing your needs to the surface. Yeah. And that is very, very powerful. So it's this connection to yourself and an awareness of your needs each and every day. And also, this way that cycle awareness builds inner safety. And inner safety, as we all know, is the foundation for healing. Any healing, and particularly healing of trauma, requires us to have a ground of inner safety in which the alchemy, the transformation, the what needs to be tended can surface, be presenced with, be held, and therefore integrated. So this inner safety is really, really cool.

I love you. Speaking all that Shani. Shani's like, I love you too, I'll accept. I love how you spoke that and this piece about inner safety, safety with yourself. So when you are checking in and aware of your needs, it's actually an affirmation of yourself, but just a small, small nod towards yourself. And it's doing that every day. That is both grounding you in yourself, it's bringing this presence, but it's actually quietly building a self confidence. It's subtle. I hate this phrase subtle but distinct or something like that, but it's true. It is subtle, but it's very distinct with time. And as you were speaking Shani, I was reminded of just this foundational thing of rhythm, we have the menstrual cycle rhythm, you know,

this the sleep, the sleep, the day night rhythm, you know, when that goes, you know, you're in health. So always we begin, any healing begins with rhythmic life, restoring rhythmic life. restoring rhythmic life. And that recognizing that our psyches need a holding, you know, if we don't have the holding of all these things, we'd go mad. Well, we do go mad, actually. That's very powerful. What you're saying. What we're talking about here is the foundational practice of menstrual cycle awareness, because there is a next level of cycle awareness. But at this very foundational level of cycle awareness,

you are creating inner safety by building this deeper relationship to yourself, by restoring rhythm, and therefore creating this container of holding, self-holding and the holding of your cycle, which is profound. I mean, I think this is something that I hear so many people who study with us say is how they feel held by their cycle. So that's a deepening of trust in how we are experiencing ourselves day by day. And rather than making how we're experiencing ourselves wrong, we really start to dare to believe that it's meaningful.

And this is so at the core of transforming PMX and PMDD, because underlying what's going on for those of us who have these extreme symptoms is a feeling that there is something wrong with us, which you named upfront. And so we begin to really rewrite that story of there is nothing wrong with me. There is just the wisdom of my body signposting and signaling what I'm needing and what needs to be tended in me. And sometimes those signs and signals are extreme and very painful and very disruptive, but it's a signpost back to self-care,

self-responsibility, self-holding, and a bigger holding, a deeper trust in life. So we teach all about this on our cycle power courts. We really get into this foundational layer of menstrual cycle awareness. And then I mentioned the next level, which is evolutionary menstrual cycle awareness. And that's what we teach on the menstruality leadership program. But I want to signpost this as well, because this is a way of approaching this practice of cycle awareness, where you work with the cycle and

you work with your experience as a developmental path. And that's what helps to really repair the developmental trauma that is in our system. And as we mentioned in the previous episode, trauma, childhood trauma, developmental trauma is really what's going on with PMS and PMDD and extreme symptoms. And when you spoke about the symptoms as signs and signals there about what needs to be tended to inside, one of the things we were also talking about in the last episode was their signs and signals

about what's going on in the world, like how our cyclical nature is denied and suppressed and ignored and mocked, for example, oh she's just PMSing, you know, our symptoms are also showing us something about what needs to change out there. And as you were talking, I was thinking back to my experience right at the beginning of cycle tracking, when I suddenly went, bloody hell, there's a effing pattern here. I'm not this weirdo, broken, crazy, emotional,

like wild, strange creature that doesn't belong here and should just, I don't know what, you know, just the place of darkness I went to sometimes. There's a pattern. This is happening on day 23 every month. It was life changing because then I can hold myself in a different way in those times because there's something going on inside me in the world that is being pointed to. Yeah. Yeah, wow. And patterns are meaningful, patterns are not random, patterns hold a kind of mythological truth. Yeah, so that's very profound, Sophie. profound, Sophie. And then there's the second menstruality medicine that can help with PMDD and PMS, which we really explored in the first episode a lot, understanding premenstrual power.

Yes, I think this is absolutely crucial, because we have very particular powers that come up in the pre-menstruum. And these powers are not, they're much more provocative and disturbing powers to others because we don't censor ourselves in the same way. So I think I've said in the podcast before, is that, you know, our polite socialized self bites the dust. And there's a truer voice or a more instinctual voice that gets unleashed. So we have these extraordinary powers of heightened sensibilities, heightened sensitivity, but these heightened kind of knowing about things. But if you don't know you that you have this heightened knowing that this heightened sensibility, it will just turn up as just a kind of madness in you have just, you know, wildness

of feeling and reaction. And, and if you're not physically resourced, if you're very tired, it's a very horrible cocktail. These powers then, I want to say, they sort of work against you instead of actually being an amplification. This is a moment where there are very particular gifts coming out that you have that really require presence. But if you don't have that presence, you don't have that capacity to understand and to value to feel a worth around those powers. So this heightened sensibilities, you have, you know, more psychic ability, clairvoyant, but this just deeper knowing a sight, you

know, it's like you can see through things, it just fascinates me how you see through things. And then there's this, this, this, it's not physical chi, it's like a, it's an energetic force within us that will not be silenced. It's a real power that can come and be straight talking and straight shooting. And you have the power to cut through crap and to penetrate deeply into something. So it's an extraordinarily potent power in the pre-menstruum. But it's also, you won't be loved for this power, this straight talking, true speaking, catalyzing power. But catalyzing, you see that word catalyzing transforms things. It's a transforming power.

It's a very creative power actually. And a lot of creativity will be very kind of alive in you. Yeah. The way you're kind of listing these powers, Alexandra really packs a punch because what we're saying here is that understanding the way you're kind of listing these powers, Alexandra, really packs a punch. Because what we're saying here is that understanding the true purpose, the psychological and spiritual purpose of this phase of the cycle is a foundational medicine for healing, immediately puts you in this

puts you in this very different paradigm where you go from the experiences you're having being like the enemy. That's what you were saying, Alexandra, you're sort of at the mercy of them. You're a victim of what's happening to them suddenly shifting and going, oh, actually suddenly shifting and going, oh, actually, these powers, what's happening, it's not the enemy, it is revealing something. It's a reckoning that's happening in me so that I can return to myself, so that I can awaken to what's been unconscious, so that I can heal, so that I can kind of pop out of the sort of illusion that I've been in or the unconsciousness that I've been in. And as you said, Sophie, and it's not just that I've been in, it's that we're in in the world.

This power is for us, but it's also for the collective. So it's a radical thing we're saying, but holding this in the forefront of your mind, when you're in the grips and hell of whatever you're feeling, whatever's going on, will really put you back into a place of, I hope, trust and a place of meaning. And rather than kind of fighting what's going on, you can begin to find ways to start working with it, to really tend to the healing that needs to happen and tend to the part of you that is needing to be deeply seen and met and cared for. Yeah, we can maybe say more about all that later. Well, just following on from what Sian is saying there, it really leads into our next menstruality medicine, which is rest and menstruation, because I realized the really vital thing around meeting the powers of the autumn, the inner autumn is being being resourced and having chi in your system. So there's, there's both the physical resourceness that you need, but also the resourceness of

the resource-ness of valuing yourself, having a feeling of your worth and growing that, building that. So that word resource-ness is really, really important. And prioritizing menstruation, it might sound really strong. No, no, my problems with the pre-menstruum, why would I bother with menstruation? But actually all roads lead back to how well menstruation is tended to because menstruation is many, many things, but it is, I want to say the pit stop, the refueling moment, but not just physical chi, but also affirmation chi, psychological chi, just that, yeah, you just remember yourself again, you feel, oh, the yes to myself. So finding some way to prioritize having more rest at menstruation actually should be on every, but it's a remedy for everything, frankly, but it is absolutely crucial, absolutely vital

for being able to meet the challenge of the, you know, autumn. So finding some way to give yourself time, a space to step away from responsibilities, from having to think about everybody else, and literally to drop your bundle, and to be able to just let go and do nothing. And I mean, this is people go, how do you have what is what do you mean do nothing? Do you do like, it is just just faff around and stare out the window and to have it's the thing of having no focus, no agenda. But also you will feel your body stopping you, you will feel like you don't want to move, you will feel like, oh, I

just want to be under the duvet. You'll all have a version of this going on and to give you to find some way to give yourself that however small. So remember our 1% that we flagged up at the beginning. And I'm really I'm being very firm in what I'm saying here, I'm going to say this is one of your, along with learning, starting to chart your cycle. This is your second most important task. that it's, I want to say it's a non-negotiable restoring the rest time. You don't argue with going to bed at night. You know you have to have that. Well, your body and your psyche need the menstrual rest in exactly the same way. And then what happens is you go out into your cycle, you know, into the subsequent days and seasons of your cycle, with some chi in your body, some energy, a feeling of you've restored connection to yourself. And that, of course, this energy gradually gets used. I mean, you've got to be wise and thoughtful about how you husband that energy, how you care for it. But you will notice honestly, a huge difference time the more rest you can take. Yeah, it is utterly the foundation for physical health. And so I also just want to add,

you know, the hormonal disruption and imbalance that's connected with PMS and PMDD. Well, rest administration really helps to enhance hormonal balance as well as emotional balance, as well as mental balance. So it's incredibly medicinal in that sense. And then the other thing, which I was feeling as you were talking, Alexandra, is part of the power of race administration is interrupting this cultural overriding of cyclicity. Really, when we stop administration, we're restoring this relationship with cyclicity. It's such a deep honoring of our cycle and of cycles. So when we stop fighting against that, and of course the fighting against rest is a major form of stress and a major source of trauma,

actually, and really exacerbates everything that happens and subsequently. But when we rest at menstruation, we are profoundly and deeply honoring cyclicity. And that puts something right at the depth of our being. It's like a reordering happens. And as I said, I can even just feel the relief in me. It's like, oh, I'm back in who I am.

I'm back in my way of being. So you can probably hear as I say that, that it's a form of regulation, nervous system regulation. Exactly. Yeah. Rest interrupts this like overdoing. It disrupts this dysregulation and this fragmentation and kind of brings us back together, brings us into the safety of this deep holding and into the safety of this embodied presence with ourselves. And yeah, wow, if you have that ground in your being, the healing that's possible from there is big. Okay, I'm just going to pause our conversation for a moment to share a couple of invitations with you. Firstly, if you're just discovering the practice of cycle awareness as a way to transform your pre-menstrual experience, we really recommend downloading the free Red

School menstrual tracking chart at redschool.net forward slash chart to support you to get started with your own menstrual cycle awareness practice or to take your practice deeper. And I also want to let you know that the doors for the menstruality leadership program are going to be opening again soon and I know that some of you have been waiting for this. We'll let you know here once registration is open. And in the meantime, Alexandra and Sharni's Cycle Power Course is the best way to prepare for the Leadership Programme. Lots of graduates share that they're really grateful to have had the Cycle Power context. You can find out more about the course at redschool.net forward slash cycle power and here's a story from Sophie about her

cycle power and MRP journey. She says, I completed cycle power last year after reading both Wild Power and Wise Power and obsessively listening to the Red School podcast every week. Thank you Sophie. Part of me thought how can I learn anything else new after being such an avid fan and student? After all they both provided such a rich education and I was already cycle tracking. However there is a difference between reading it, gaining the knowledge and actually deeply feeling and practicing it. Following Cycle Power, the call to do the MLP grew louder and I knew that this work needed to be shared. Cycle Power was so amazing and I'm so pleased that I did that first as it allowed me to understand the inner seasons

and what each one meant to me but also prepared me with the foundations for the teachings of the MLP. Thank you so much for sharing that story, Sophie. So again, if you want to explore the cycle power course, it's redschool.net forward slash cycle power. Okay. Let's get back to the conversation with Alexandra and Sharni. I love thinking about hibernating animals. I love thinking, you know, they just, they just know it's time.

It's getting cold. It's getting dark. Let's go and find a nest and their heartbeats go way down and all the functions in their body slow, slow way down and they just get really cozy, you know. I've said this few times times but it really always helps me when I am too identified with the human push push push do do do cultures that 99.9% of life on earth isn't human and 99.9% of earth knows these cycles so we can we can align with that we can step out sidestep the human cultures for a

bit. There was a really lovely story from Andrea about the power of menstrual rest and she said unapologetic self-care deep rest and giving myself the space I need helps. It all starts with the quality of rest and support I get in my menstruation otherwise I'm depleted before I even hit spring with no direction, then an underwhelming summer, then a rough autumn." So really drawing the connection between challenges and every season, but especially autumn. Yeah, that's a great quote. Yeah, thank you, Andrea. Yeah. So we've been talking about these are sort of longer term,

long game, big projects, menstrual cycle awareness, understanding premenstrual power, menstrual rest. What about if people are thinking, but I am in hell right now, like this is impossible. What are some practices, ways of being, ideas that can be supportive to help with symptoms of PMS and PMDD right now? Well, I'm nothing if not practical.

And the first thing I'm going to say is, actually, just starting to do what we have been speaking about is, I actually can't think of anything more practical than that, but don't worry, I will get practical. But I'm this is where I'm really emphasizing this 1%, the power of the small change. And of course, just looking from the outside, you're thinking, just checking in with my cycle each day, you know, doesn't look promising. Just start doing, just start doing anyway, regardless of whether it doesn't look promising. It's just so cool. All right, so what can I do in the moment right now? Well, as we were preparing for this podcast, I remembered something I used to say to women years ago, just dealing with PMS. And I'm going to recommend it to everybody now. I'm going to recommend when you're in the good part of your cycle, when you're feeling kind of okay with yourself, and you know,

you can appreciate yourself a bit and your life and so on. I want you to write a love letter to yourself. I want you to write a letter to yourself about, it's a love letter to yourself, about yourself, loving yourself. And sometimes actually this could be this, some this can be very, very hard, but actually, do it, just try it. Just valuing yourself celebrating yourself perhaps the things you are doing and just who you are you will find the words to sit down with pen and paper, however the simple the words are, and also the things you want to remind yourself of. For instance, to remind yourself there's nothing wrong with you. To remind yourself that what happens pre-menstruary is meaningful, you just don't yet know how to decode it. But who you are is essentially absolutely okay. Perfect. Good. There is nothing wrong with you. And to just write some very firm and clear and loving statements to yourself. And then when you come round to that moment in the cycle where you feel the wobble, you get the letter out, you go, oh my goodness, there's a letter for me here. How wonderful. And you go and you read that

letter as if for the first time and you drink it in. You take it in. Just to remind yourself, there's nothing wrong here. And I'll tell you what you're also doing in that moment is you're actually pausing. It's like you say when we move from one season to another of our cycles, each any crossover moment, it's actually really important to just kind of pause and catch ourselves and presence ourselves. There's that magic word presence, which we use a lot, but just kind of pause and catch ourselves and presence ourselves there's that magic word presence which we use a lot, but just sort of gathering yourself and just acknowledging. Yeah, because that presence alone will start to shift something to in and of itself. I do have other things to say, but Shani, I'm going to ask you if you have something you want to put in here. I love that idea of that letter Alexandra, and it's reminding me of one of the very, very early prototypes of the workshop that you used to teach was about the not okay and the okay part of the menstrual cycle. I remember that very, very well. That was years ago. And now of course, for many, they find the not okay part actually the first half of their cycle. So it's interesting how personal

the experience is and how the cycle in all phases reveals to us actually what we're needing. So I think I want to add in a little bit more detail about power of cyclical self care. And the importance of when you come across that line of ovulation is letting that be an alert to the fact that you are now entering a time where self care is priority and your needs are priority. So to think of the second half of the cycle as being about you and what you're needing. So this is where you really are making a shift to actually asking yourself very actively each day, what can I do today to honor my needs? And what boundary do I need to set today to take care

of myself and what it is I'm needing? And I would love you all to dream into this question each day in as big a way as you can, you know, to really let yourself fully answer that question, whether it's possible to do what it is you're wanting or needing or not. Because there's something about just actually opening your mind to what you really want to need that in us in and of itself is medicinal. Like I know for myself, when I just recognise, oh, I really want to need today is to spend all day in bed under the duvet. And I mean, with my head under it, like in the dark and do just lie there dead still. Is that what you want right now, Shani?

I wanted that yesterday. And I have to say, I got it for about three quarters of the day. That's amazing. I know everything you're holding, so that was- Yeah, exactly. It was radical. It comes with the territory of dare to trust,

nothing is urgent, which, you know, of course my mind vehemently disagrees with, but I've learned to, I've learned to do it anyway. I know occasionally I had to like pull the duvet down off my head so I could just get some fresh oxygen that works. But the point I've tried to make is I happened to be able to do that yesterday, but sometimes we can't do the full box and dice of what we want to need. But even just naming it for ourselves and seeing it for ourselves brings this relief to our system. And that part of us gets met and fell feel seen and understood and cared for. And it

just builds this, it just takes you from a survival state of like, how am I going to cope into like a resourced state? It's such a profound shift that. So then the next thing I want to say is, and when you realize that you can't do exactly what you want to need to, you know, want to need that day is to find the 1%. But to take that very seriously in the second half of the cycle to really find whatever it is that is possible and to do it. I'm remembering back to what I discovered I needed self-care wise in in autumn, which was wild nature and ideally wild weather. Like the only thing that could meet my pre-menstrual rage was really torrential rain on my face, you know, and like rushing rivers, you know, like I needed to just sit next to a volcano,

you know, and be like, wow, this is just a power of life, you know, and, and then it was like, the elemental forces were, I don't know, I've probably sound like a weirdo, maybe to some people here, but it helped, honestly. It sounds amazing. I'm just trying to figure out where you find said volcano. Yeah, yeah, I didn't actually manage to find it. I did. I did at one point. I was very lucky because I was a filmmaker and I got to travel

and I did actually go to Hawaii and do a volcano. But just like in the park, like just. But but the weather, you know, the wind, the rain or I guess the heat, if you're in a sort of desert area. It's like I just it's the elemental forces. And I also needed to use my voice. So I needed to find ways to scream and shout.

So I used to drive out, wind my window down and just scream to the trees or whatever I was driving past. And then that was like a healthy way to let the energy move rather than screaming at someone. So just those are some, some ideas of the cyclicals and that was my cyclical self care. It wasn't like cat and bubble baths. It was like screaming and being tossed about by wild weather.

Yeah. And you're reminding me of how embodiment is so important in the second half. It's always important but because we're dealing with such powerful forces, such strong energy, sometimes trauma and so on, any somatic practices in the moment, just interoception, just checking in with your body or movement, or as you said, nature, or going into cold water, or anything that helps you feel encapsulated

inside your own skin is going to help you to bring more presence to the power that's moving through you. Yeah, you put it more eloquently than my volcano. I totally know the experience and I've done it as well. Not the volcano, but luckily there's lots of shit where they need them to lose myself. Mine was having getting old plates and things from charity shops and throwing them at the wall. That was so good. Yes, yes. And I even once threw food at the wall and left it there all day. It was one of the most, I thought it was like a work of art, it's like my Jackson Pollock on the wall. Just, you have to let it out. You actually have to find a way to let it out. perhaps some slightly less dramatic. Yeah, that's right. versions of things. I just really want to follow the shot

this thing of the self care is absolutely non negotiable now. And I want to really expand on that a bit. And one of the things is to be really this is just a really obvious, I hope obvious practical thing to be really strategic about what you book into your spring and summer self, you know, remember it all looks possible. And the thing is, it's not, it's not, they're slightly delusional. Summer is especially delusional. I can say that probably every person is slightly delusional about their capacities in the summer. So just be really smart about what you put in your diary and to find ways to slow down. If you have too much on, of course, you're speeding

up because you need to slow down to be present with yourself more. Okay, so this is another really important thing. Watch your blood sugar levels. Do not skip meals full stop. Do not just skip whatever your rhythm of eating is needed. Just don't. Be strategic about that at all times that you don't let your blood sugar levels crash. that at all times that you don't let your blood sugar levels crash. Another piece that you've noted here is to look at your diet, that it's really crucial. And I want to point out a resource that we have with Dr. Lara Brydon, who's a naturopathic doctor. And she did an episode about natural approaches to menstrual health challenges and they included a section around PMS and premenstrual challenges and all kinds of good advice around reducing sugar and

gluten and alcohol, eating whole foods, yeah it's a really good resource. It feels really important as we begin to wrap up this conversation to name that professional support is often essential and ideally cycle aware therapy and we have a story from Shannon which is a wonderful demonstration of this of how the combination of menstrual cycle awareness plus cycle awareness and sorry plus cycle aware therapy has supported her recovery from PMDD. So shall I start reading her story? She says, I've been dealing with PMDD for well over a decade. It came back with a vengeance when my period returned postpartum with

my second child. I had completely lost myself and I see now that the PMDD symptoms were my wild power fighting desperately to be claimed. Do you want to say a word there Shani about liminal times and PMDD? Um yeah maybe first I will just speak to the fact that PMDD symptoms are symptoms are often giving us signposts of deep wounding and trauma that needs to be healed. So for many people who experience PMDD, they're actually living in a sort of chronic state of past trauma reactivation in the second half of their cycle, when they enter the second half, because what happens in the pre-menstrual is there's tightened sensitivity, increased vulnerability, our inner resources diminish, so we have less sort of energy. And all of that is what allows this past trauma to surface. And if we are in really

challenging times like early motherhood, or under extreme stress or very challenging life circumstances, and really our resources are diminished, we're much more likely to be at the mercy of and really go into this past trauma in a way that re-traumatizes, and we can't hold it and meet it in a way that allows it to integrate. So this is amplified in liminal times. So the pre menstruum is a liminal time, but any big life transition like the

initiation of motherhood, or even the autumn of menstruating years. So this is the life phase that I'm in right now. Very liminal. And I certainly have experienced all this past trauma surfacing. Periods of grief too, bereavement. Periods of grief, exactly ends of relationships and so on. So everything that we've said about the power of the pre-menstruum is also true for the power of transitions in our life. So you can hear this like this amplification of vulnerability that happens and it's in these gaps, you know, in these psychological and emotional gaps where we're in an unknown place in ourselves, that all that is not healed and integrated starts to come to the surface. We did a podcast episode

about mental and emotional health which speaks to this in more depth. Yeah, I'll drop a link to that in the show notes. Yeah, and Shannon says, that time of my life was havoc. PMDD also exposed my PTSD from a traumatic childhood and family of origin. I've been in recovery for many years and as holistically as I tried to do everything it became clear that mood stabilising medication was necessary. I'm very fortunate to live in an area with a growing number of reproductive psychiatrists. I'm very fortunate to live in an area with a growing number of reproductive psychiatrists. Working with one changed my life. While I'd read Wild Power many years ago, it's not a substitute for professional help and that's what I desperately needed.

My reproductive psychiatrist also diagnosed me with postpartum OCD and receiving treatment for that, PMDD and PTSD finally quelled the havoc. So good to hear that Shannon. I received all of this treatment at a women's recovery centre where the therapists have read Wild Power. Yes! So good. That's what we need. We need more therapists who are cycle aware. Yeah and she says I feel like I was a step ahead in my recovery through it all because I was deeply rooted in practicing menstrual cycle awareness. Anyhow, with the great ongoing stabilization in my health and practicing menstrual cycle awareness for many years now, a cycle consciousness arose within me and it's pure delight and power. While I was hopeful that

healing would mean going medication free, I've come to understand that for now, medication is a part of my big red rule, accepting my experience as it is. Thank you, Alexandra and Sharni for dedicating an episode to this. Yeah. Thank you so much for sharing your story, Sharnin. Very moving. Super. We are actually planning to have a conversation about menstrual cycle awareness and trauma healing sometime over the next couple of months, so we're going to be going much more deeply into this topic.

I'm just going to say I imagine it's going to be a two-part one. I don't think that's going to be a one-episode situation because it's huge. Yeah, yeah. Okay, thank you so much you two for everything that you've shared today. It's been illuminating and I really hope for everyone listening it's supportive and if you want more support and holding with whatever you're dealing with in your pre-mentioning then come over to the community hub at Red School. there's a lot of good conversation support happening there. I'll drop a link in the show notes. Thank you, Sophie Jane. Yeah, that was good. Thanks for being with us today. Thanks for tuning in. If you know someone who experiences challenging pre-menstrual times, please do forward this conversation to them along with the part one, which is episode 2.02.

And if you experience pre-menstrual challenge, we really hope that these conversations support you. That's it for this week. I'll be with you again in a couple of weeks now. And until then, keep living life according to your own brilliant rhythm.