The Menstruality Podcast - The New Story of Menopause *Wise Power Series* (Alexandra & Sjanie)

Episode Date: June 23, 2022

It’s time to re-write the story of menopause. What if the critical, provocative energy of menopause is actually a sign that you’re coming to your senses?What if menopause isn’t a health condition we suffer from, but that people in menopause you’re actually suffering from is a lack of recognition, respect and support for the profound initiation you’re going through. What if, post-menopause, you are more needed than ever. This is the first of our menopause summer series, in the run up to the launch of our new book, Wise Power.We explore:- The four old stories of menopause, and the new stories that honour and dignify this transition. - The ‘emperor has no clothes’ moment that happens in menopause.- Why our impulse to ‘burn the house down’ in menopause is actually very sane, and an important part of this initiatory process.  You can now pre-order your copy of our new menopause book! Wise Power: Discover the liberating power of menopause to awaken authority, purpose and belonging here: https://www.wisepowerbook.com---The Menstruality Podcast is hosted by Red School. We love hearing from you. To contact us, email [e-mail]---Social media:Red School: @redschool - https://www.instagram.com/red.school

Welcome to the Menstruality Podcast, where we share inspiring conversations about the power of menstrual cycle awareness and conscious menopause. This podcast is brought to you by Red School, where we're training the menstruality leaders of the future. I'm your host, Sophie Jane Hardy, and I'll be joined often by Red School's founders, Alexandra and Sharni, as well as an inspiring group of pioneers, activists, changemakers and creatives to explore how you can unashamedly claim the power of the menstrual cycle to activate your unique form of leadership for yourself, your community and the world. Hey there, welcome back to the Menstruality Podcast. Thank you for tuning in and listening today. We're talking menopause today. We're talking about why it's time to rewrite the cultural story that we're telling ourselves about menopause. So we're looking at some

interesting questions. What if the critical, provocative energy of menopause. So we're looking at some interesting questions. What if the critical provocative energy of menopause is actually a sign that you're coming to your senses? What if menopause isn't a health condition that we're suffering from but that people in menopause are actually suffering from a lack of recognition and respect and support for the profound initiation that they're going through and what if actually people in post-menopause life are more needed than ever their leadership their presence their authority is more needed in our world than ever before so this is the first of our menopause summer series that we're doing in the run-up to the launch of Alexandra and Sharni's new book Wise Power Discover

the Liberating Power of Menopause to Awaken Authority Purpose and Belonging. So in the episode we go through four old stories of menopause and the new stories that this book tells and that the new cultural movement of menopause and the new stories that this book tells and that the new cultural movement of menopause needs to tell which honour and dignify this powerful initiation and transition. Good morning you two. I'm really excited about this conversation today. This is the first in our series of conversations about wise power. How are you doing? Shadi, where are you at in your cycle? I'm day five. You know, what can I say? I was feeling this morning, I was like, I've got a menstrual hangover is what's happening for me.

You know, the drugs have worn off and now I'm just left in the aftermath. Yeah, physically feeling, I feel all shaky. I feel a bit emotionally battered and bruised and there's a slight edge of kind of paranoia. What a great place to turn up for a podcast interview. Just the perfect conditions. I mean, it's so ideal. It's so ideal. I mean, you're just so lined up this is where i can say thank goodness for the practice

of cycle awareness which teaches me over and over and over again to trust the place i'm in no matter how shitty it looks so yes i'm here in my menstrual hangover with my shaky paranoia. Don't start talking about me, you two. We'll be nice, Shelley. I promise. Yeah. Well, I'm feeling all right. It's actually day three of the moon, and I really enjoy these first, the last days of the moon, of, you these first the last days of the moon of you know the

dark moon and so on and then the first second the third days uh if i'm really pacing myself they are i mean it's not the same as when i've led but there is an echo of it and i remember feeling yesterday held in some kind of magic bubble. I mean, I went from one thing to another, starting at eight o'clock. I can't believe it when I look back at the day. Honestly, one, next thing, next thing, next thing. I thought, wow, that's usually beyond my limits any day. But I honestly felt in this lovely, beautiful bubble, it felt very sweet and blessed and blissful actually so interesting and today I feel um I still feel some of that buffer but it's thinner it's thinner now you teach me so much about taking care of myself because we were all in a meeting together yesterday at five o'clock

and I said I think I said, it's five past five. We probably need to wrap up. And you went, what? I'm out of here. Five past five o'clock. I don't want past five o'clock. Bye. And you literally just left the meeting.

I know that is, that is the total witching hour for me. I can push other bits of the day, but I cannot push that moment. It just, otherwise I just lose all my energy and I need to eat. I need to eat. And of course, I had to go prepare my food and everything. So it is a bit that that is the urgent spot. So, yes, sorry, it's non-negotiable. So I abandoned you all. Well, let's get right into this conversation today. It's such an important conversation and beautifully, it's a conversation that the world is starting to have in a meaningful way. There's an old story that we've been telling ourselves about menopause and there's a new story coming through and Wise Power is leading that story. So as I was reflecting on this conversation today, I was thinking about what I'm seeing in the world. And, you know, I've been lucky to be close to many

menopausal women in my life. And I found four old stories that the world has been telling about menopause and then four new stories that you and Wise Power are telling. So I'm going to dive in with the first old story which is that menopause is a disaster waiting to happen. It's this looming disaster that's ahead of us for those of us who aren't in there yet or it's a disaster that's happening right now for people who are in it and the reframe you're offering is that menopause is an initiation into power and I'm actually going to read a quote from wise power which is this we've got a radical idea for you menopause holds the key to your deepest fulfillment and the future of our planet. This may sound bold, but to us, it's indisputable. In this book, we'll show you how to realize the potential and power of menopause for both yourself and the world. So strap yourself in. Menopause is

quite a ride, but we'll be with you every step of the way. So my first question for you is, what gives you the courage and the audacity to make such a bold statement? Because it is very, very real for me. It's like a compelling force from within me that is in a way outraged at the, at what's going on around menopause. I mean, I'm deeply distressed for all the suffering that's happening, but the way that menopause is sort of pitched as this disaster in which

we essentially kind of fall apart, never come back together again, you know, our brains, everything. I mean, it is unbelievably insulting. When I think of myself post-menopause, and I have never felt happier stronger more creative more productive than I am in this point in my life and I you know I see it and I've heard it from other postmenopause women and and but I see it in the world there are many fantastic examples of people out there that are just nailing it because something very powerful happens at menopause.

And so if it's not met properly, it's going to be a disaster. And actually the wicked thought I had when you were saying that thing about the old story of menopause being a disaster and the new story, it's an initiation to power. I thought, yeah, menopause is a disaster. It's a disaster for everybody around us because we are going to change the scripts about our lives. And if we've been propping everybody up, they are not going to be very happy about it when we no longer prop them up anymore. Or, you know, if we suddenly, because

we do come into this enormous, greater authority rather, at menopause. And the very powerful thing about it is that we don't care so much about what others think so it's this combination of this fierceness that comes through and a feeling of no longer wanting to compromise who I am and that means disturbing the people around me and they may not like that so it may be a disaster for them anyway that was my silly little comment so better to put it on to us and say we're the disaster for disturbing the peace yes yeah i i love your question sophie like what gives us the courage to make this claim and you know i'm reminded that menopause is the culmination of your menstrual years it's the

culmination of your menstrual cycle and this idea that it is a disaster is very rooted in that exact same old notion that the menstrual cycle is a limit and a limitation and a problem that has to be dealt with, that just causes us us trouble like it's a design flaw and what I've experienced for myself and with all the people we work with when we practice menstrual cycle awareness and we hold our cycles as intelligent and meaningful and as profound guides into our own health and creativity and wellness they are the menstrual cycle is not a problem in fact it is this incredible liberating resource that grows us into our power and authority and therefore menopause is the culmination of that. Menopause is the final way station that really, like, brings something home for us. So it's really been my experience of my own menstrual cycle

and the power of that and how we've seen people completely transform through cycle awareness and how they've healed health problems and, you know, mental issues and all sorts of stuff through really coming into alignment with their cycle that I know in my bones and blood that menopause is no different. Yeah. Yeah. You know, and on the back of what Shani has said, I just have to say, menopause was liberating for me. It didn't ever feel like a disaster.

And, um, it felt like, um, an evolution. I actually felt like I was ready for it. Um, you know, this is the initial feeling of, Oh, no, no, no, no, of, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, because it is, of course, a sign of getting older, inverted commas, you know, so you have to negotiate that edge. But the truth was, as time passed, I thought, you know what, I'm over this cycling business, you know, the menstrual cycle process. Something's done, something's completed. It just didn't hold something anything from it there was this sense of readiness and you are readied for it if

just as Shani has described if you're connected to your cycle so it doesn't feel like a disaster because you are readied for it you will be challenged that's it's an initiation you'll be challenged but it's not a disaster it's an evolution yeah it's not a disaster it's an evolution that's a quote from the real red pope the and tragically though unfortunately unfortunately many people are showing up at our workshops and at the great awakener program and it does feel like a disaster because of the way our world works because they haven't been prepared through cycle awareness because of so many so so many things because of the systems of oppression that are holding some people down and back and

um i would love to hear what you're seeing let's let's just normalize this when people show up at your menopause workshops and at the great awakener what are they experiencing what are they seeing how is this disaster showing up for them showing up on a number of levels. It's the physical health issues that suddenly, you know, our bodies, which we know felt kind of these trusty beings that always kind of delivered, suddenly aren't supporting us in this. Suddenly we're not, our sleep is starting to get disrupted for some it's exhaustion they just feel exhausted or their brains are uh not working they just feel they have like a brain fog going on or um things like uh anxiety is quite strong that's actually very strong for many not so much depression but

anxiety and anger huge anger actually that's probably the strongest feeling but it is just this not feeling right in their bodies anymore and kind of missing the certainty of the menstrual cycle because it is you know if you're not suffering men's bad menstrual symptoms there's something very kind of there and comforting about this rhythm every month there are one or two of course for whom who've suffered horribly it's like i can't wait you know i can't wait for menopause um but in the majority it's uh those symptoms that i have described and then of course hot flushing coming they're just very unsettled yeah and often people um describe how they don't have the same kind of capacity and ability like they feel out

of sorts and they can't do what they used to be able to do they feel um yeah almost incapable you know a bit useless like they're dropping the ball more or they're struggling more things are a lot harder than they used to be yeah often people describe this like how something that is seemingly simple is now an ordeal um like I remember one woman saying like I used to be able to use technology and now it's just like I turn on the screen I've got the buttons I don't know what you think you know it's just it's like ah so that sense of overwhelm as well yeah overwhelm I think is very common overwhelm and I suppose as you were speaking Shani I was thinking of loss of confidence in themselves yes yes okay yeah so this is how the

disaster is showing up inside them and I know that it can show up around them as well as conflict with family members as just a very different feeling towards children, if you have them towards work. It's often, I've heard this from metaphors, that suddenly they're not interested in their children anymore. They're children, they adore their children. But you know what? They would rather they weren't there. There's this extraordinary disinterest. And also with their partners. It's quite hard for partners, actually.

And some relationships do come unstuck at this point. But feeling like they just don't want people around them. They don't want demands on them. And the closer you get to menopause, the more permeable you become and the stronger your own inner feelings and and you don't you've got this greater sense of the the no comes in it's like no it's like yeah it comes out as reactivity so i was gonna say that yeah that's the disaster piece is that people uh kind of lose control feel really reactive get into intense you know arguments and fights and um yeah they have major bust up bust up with people because they're reacting um that's often the case as well so people can do

very destructive things yeah yeah where there are these guardians on your mouth they're not there anymore so the things that you previously swallowed down come out and then yeah yeah i have to say estrogen makes you nice and if estrogen is falling guess what you may be losing your niceness and uh well that i always you know there's a line i've used it in the book actually you know your polite socialized self bites the dust basically we're actually going to get to that in new story three but for now i'm going to keep us on this um with the suffering actually you know with the suffering of this experience so the old story that so many of us have been told all of us have been told really is that menopause is a condition that we suffer from it's like a health condition that we suffer from

and the new story that you're bringing is the reframe is what you're actually suffering from is a lack of recognition and respect and support oh gosh when you say those words i just feel so stirred yeah um menopause is a normal life transition in a woman or person's life. To say it's a health condition is to say that my being has kind of faulty wiring. I don't know how to put this. It's to say there's something kind of wrong with my system. And I mean, I used to just feel so angry by that, just insulted by that, that menopause was a problem that had to be solved. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Menopause is not a problem to be solved.

Menopause needs to be understood and respected in its fullness. It's not something to be solved or gotten over. This is something that is part of our life trajectory. And because of this languaging around it being a problem, and it is experienced as a problem for many and it's because one there is i mean traditionally there's people aren't trained in health uh in menopause health you know doctors aren't they don't get proper training and how to meet people coming in with menopause issues. And it's the same with menstrual stuff as well. So that's within the medical system itself. But culturally,

there isn't this respect for the transition we're going through. And then the third real thing for me is that we're not naming the power of menopause. We are not naming the initiatory power of menopause. We're not naming the power of the whole menstrual cycle. Of course, we're going to miss the power of menopause. We're not naming the full psychological and spiritual transition or evolution that we're going through at menopause. And it is huge. It is huge. It's revolutionary. It's so radical the way we're rewired. It's extraordinary. It's just rather even when I just think about it now but it demands something of us and we're supposed to just keep going as normal yeah that's so much

at the crux of why it is showing up as a health crisis Sophie is you know just coming back to the menstrual cycle menopause is part of a bigger cycle it's a stage in your life cycle and it's not a health crisis except if we don't respect the demands of it, as Alexandra is saying. So very, very much like with the menstrual cycle, when we go against our cyclical nature and we deny or resist or fight the need our body has to slow down in the second half of the cycle

in the autumn and in a winter our body gives us feedback we experience symptoms challenges deep reactivity because our system is being pushed into doing or moving at a pace that isn't right in the moment. And menopause, as Alexandra is saying, isn't held as this, it isn't acknowledged as this retreat time, as this time where we're needing to slow down and we're needing a different kind of pace and so much of the health challenges that come to the fore are because we're denying ourselves this and our culture isn't supporting us to really go with what our bodies hearts minds are asking of us if you're listening to this and thinking i need support i need help to be able to give myself the space and honoring and time and all the things that shani just mentioned that

needed for this initiation we in part three of this series we're going to look at how to actually do this we're going to get practical today we're focusing on the story and I want to reassure you we're not going to stay up in the clouds and the ideas we're going to get right down into how this actually happens I think that you're so important you said that Sophie because I feel so fiercely about it. One, well, I do feel firstly, naming the story dignifies something in us, and that's actually our first remedy.

I want us to feel dignified, and then something in us sort of sits up. And then there are so many practical things that we can you know start to bring in in lieu of the fact that society isn't quite on side yet yeah and things are changing slowly changing menopause policies coming into workplaces you know things are on the move i actually would love just to really acknowledge that there's some really fantastic stuff going on now. People, celebrities speaking out about menopause and really calling people out, calling the medical system out and saying, you know, why aren't doctors trained in this?

Things like that. And really speaking it loudly and boldly for everyone to hear so it's fantastic this is actually very much in the uk it's not happening worldwide yet i have to say great for the uk there's some great people out there actually that have been really pushing this i'm thinking of a story that lauren sharing with me, which Lauren's our customer service goddess and all kinds of things at Red School. And she was talking about an experience she had at our menstruality leadership program, our in-person retreat at Hawkwood. And she was really moved. She was crying about this because there were several menopausal women in the group and she said that it was amazing to see what happens when their role as menopausal or post-menopausal people is honored and dignified

because they were holding space for the whole group they were bringing an authority and a sense of safety and deep wisdom and possibility for the whole group that could be tangibly and palpably felt in the in the air and in the atmosphere which makes me very jealous because I wasn't there and I would love to experience this but it also makes me so excited about what will become possible in our world when menopause is honored and when people going through menopause are really dignified in that process yeah it's exciting to think what that could look like in our world oh that is so beautiful hearing that I hadn't heard her say that I felt it i felt the value of those women in the group i really felt them and it was so good having them there they were like these sentinels in the room weren't they

shani they were extraordinary they were going through their own process but they had a bigness about them that was like this presence for the others for the younger ones it was very loving it's very gorgeous one of the qualities that i witness in people going through menopause is this capacity for bigger holding, not just of themselves, but really beyond themselves. There is, there is, it's this very exquisite ability to really be with their own process whilst being with what's going on in the group and in others around them and um i have so much respect for that because

because of the wisdom in that because of the wisdom of not abandoning yourself but also not abandoning others not abandoning the world it's such a beautiful thing to see it in action that's the power of menopause let's move on to old story three which is that you're losing it that you're losing it that you're crazy that you're mad the new story that you're bringing and every time I share this with our community say on social media there's this huge wave of response because we feel it we know the truth of this that so the new story is the critical provocative energy of menopause is actually a sign that you're coming to your senses

and there's a quote i'd like to share from ice power which speaks to this which is menopause is a pause in normal life where you're called to reflect on the life you've lived thus far your personal history comes back to bite you on the bum asking asking to be tended to and healed you're confronted by your worst parts not so you can judge or fix them but to make peace with them with the complexity of being you yep that's a good quote did we write that i might have had a few more swear words in the initial pre-edit pre-edit there were a few a few swear words um this is the thing I hear over and over again of women and people feeling like they're going mad.

And they're going mad, they feel like that because there's no affirmation coming back at them about what menopause is about. There's no context. All they know is suddenly they're seeing and feeling things differently. So what's happening at menopause is you're actually, it's like the veils are parting and you're seeing things and feeling things in a way you've never done before. And it's, and it can feel overwhelming and it's like too much information almost coming

in from within yourself but within your life around you within the world the larger world around you and it's like you're seeing into you're just seeing and feeling more and you're seeing into the shadow more and if you're under resourced if you're exhausted and that level of awareness is coming in it's it just blows the system it's like it's too much and and you just want to go and scream and and you do feel like you're going mad actually you do feel like it but what's happening underneath that is a waking up process. There's actually this extraordinary expansion that happens at menopause. It's like having blinkers on all your life and those blinkers are now taken off and you've got this sort of 360 degree awareness.

And this is your new awareness going forward. This is it. You are now playing, you're existing in a much bigger playing field of awareness now, of information coming in. But your system is not up to speed with this awareness. I talk about the light. Manipur's this huge light coming into your system, more light coming into your system. And because you're not up to speed with it, you're blinded by it. It's like, oh. And all it does is rattle. You're just sort of disturbed and rattled. And it comes out as, ah, and you see it and so on.

Yeah, my friend, I was speaking to my friend last night who said for her it's feeling like there's electric like 10 times more electricity running through her body supercharged and hypercharged and just having to manage that amount of charge running through her changing. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Yes. I was, I was reflecting on this feeling of going mad, which I know a lot of people also experience premenstrually and particularly just before they bleed. And, you know, part of what's happening in menopause is the ground is falling away from under us in other words we're going through this huge change so there is this period of time where we're in this realm of instability like ongoing instability and if we're used to attaching our sanity to control we're suddenly discovering that there is something happening in us to us that is way

beyond our control it's like ready or not the change is happening and that can really feel like madness like your mind can't keep hold of how things used to be or kind of manage what is happening now and it's that um that sudden influx of let go that can feel so frightening and so crazy making and your friend who described this kind of electric charge that's the other piece of it in the instability like as your mind has to get out of the way and as you almost have to let go of control um there's the space made for something else to come in. And that power, that force, you know, Alexandra described it as the lights that initially feel blinding, take a lot for our systems, our body, heart, mind, spirit, our lives to acclimatize to operating at this new level. That's the journey of menopause. Yeah, it is a spiritual awakening.

And we all know that, you know, spiritual awakenings take a lot to be integrated, to be grounded, to be assimilated into our system. And that madness is like the first hit of awakening that just you know it's like it takes a lot of presence and holding both from yourself and the world to to land in that so wise power is now available for pre-order at wisepowerbook.com and when you pre-order your copy today you'll receive access to three book bonuses including a live event with alexandra and sharni so you can find out more and pre-order your copy at wisepowerbook.com. Okay, let's get back to this first of our menopause summer series podcast,

which we'll be releasing every couple of weeks over the summer. Let's get back to why we need to rewrite the cultural story of menopause. I just really want to absorb this. It's so important. It's the dangerous hour. This extraordinary awakening that's happening. And for that awakening to happen, the old structures have to give way you've actually got this collapse going on and that that's death that feels not good and because of that

collapse you're not you can't hold things in the same way and the cease fierce energies coming through I mean feelings as, energies, but feelings. And as you suddenly, we've used this example in the book of, you know, the emperor's new clothes. You're suddenly realizing the emperor has no clothes. I mean, I mean, one little example. This is for me. I just remember this over and over again. You know, I've been a strong, I was a strong feminist. I am a strong feminist.

I've been a feminist, you know, fierce feminist all my life. And, you know, stood up to structures and things and so on and so forth. And then when I went through menopause, I kept going, oh, my God. I suddenly saw all the ways I'd been conned. Here was I thinking I was really awake to things. I'm going, jeez, how did I let that one get me? How did I let myself get caught up in that story? And I just started to see all the ways I had been conned in inverted commas. But of course, I had participated, you know, I was responsible. But and then I felt this indignation. So this is fierce indignation.

I have to say anger is probably the top or rage even. And all the things that you just put up with. I just, you know, it's just I remember being sort of gobsmacked. But if you're not conscious of what that process is, and you're not sufficiently supported and resourced overall in your life, many people just aren't resourced because of all sorts of life conditions, then it comes out as a kind of madness. Yeah. It's so funny now that I think back on it. Now that you're post-menopausal yeah and i i just want to acknowledge you know i was resourced

i didn't have children that i had to care you, I could be with my process. And yeah, I mean, I felt rage towards myself as well, actually. I felt a terrible impotency, I remember. And a rage about how I'd lived my, you know, what I'd done with my life. You know, there was a terrible, almost kind of self-violence. I mean, I didn't enact it, but, you know, it's... You speak about self-violence, and I think it is important to name. You also mentioned, you said the word, it's a danger moment, that there can be moments of such despair that it can be you know tragedies can happen it's real it's incredibly real sophie and um it's a moment it's a life death moment and i mean that

literally for some in that they consider suicide taking their own lives and we know of people who've done that which is one of the many important reasons to change the story and to work together to reframe this whole thing and then change everything that's happening in society so that people who are going through this transition receive the support and the honoring and the support that they need. The support, the care, the care, the support and the information, the information, information. It's so sparse. Yeah. Alexandra, could you speak the the burn the house down moment i love the way you talk about this menopause is the great house clean but then there's also just the burn the house down yeah never mind clean the house you're going to get rid of the whole

damn thing just look out on it this is part of the dangerous hour. I remember feeling like I could, I just wanted to get rid of everything in my life and start all over again, because it is a death and rebirth. You are going, you're birthing yourself. And I remember just systematically clearing stuff out, culling clothes, culling books, culling, culling people, people get culled, just culling they're culling people people get culled just culling things but there is this if and even if you are resourced but especially if you're not resourced and if you're not understanding it there's this moment where you just literally want to walk out on everything and i always have this image of you know we use it in the book, you know, you just want to pick up the barest of items, maybe, maybe your credit card, maybe the purse, you know, but you'd even consider leaving your phone behind because you just don't pick up and you just want to walk out that front door and toss this match over your head and torch it just torch it you fucking cares you just want to walk out on all the complexity all the demands everything and you just want to walk off into the sunset i mean anybody who has a menstrual cycle has experienced a version of this i know i have

you know willing to destroy it all that feeling and that need to cut is so compelling but here's the thing you see when we know that this is so much you know at leonard saying information we need more information if we know that that is a necessary moment that impulse to cut is part of what's necessary, we have a bigger context for it. We can understand that actually there is this need deep in ourselves to bring an end to something, to complete something, to say no to something, to step away from the old life we've had and from how things have been and then we can feel the dignity of that impulse instead of being in the reactivity and the destructive you know power of it we can really feel the dignity of it and we can be discerning and you know we can we can yeah not blow up ourselves in the process of blowing up our lives you know because i i do like

to say to people you know you are going to come out at this moment and you're going to go oh i think oh shit i need i need my uh passports and identity and credit Like, I can't exist like this. I could do it with a roof over my head, actually. You know, it's like the cold line of dirt. You know, people wanting to walk out on jobs and things like that, you know. And you do need at some level to enact this. But just have contingency plans. You know, it's a desire for a sabbatical basically i mean you've just got to get so creative and smart about this because of course we've all

got responsibilities and so on and so forth and money you know we need to earn money etc etc anyway we do unpack all this in the book in considerable detail because it needs to be honored in some way yeah and you know what you were speaking about shiny when he said anyone who's had a menstrual cycle knows this moment it's it just feels really important to name that our inner autumn is i've learned this from you our inner autumn is our practice ground for this so if we're practicing menstrual cycle awareness we get to experience our small bit of this medicine each time we go around our cycle yeah i mean our whole cycle is a training ground for initiation and of course menopause is this big initiation but it's the pre-menstruum the

inner autumn and the lead up to menstruation that is really teaching you the spiritual discipline and the psychological skills and the giving you the awareness that you need to negotiate all these powers that are activated in you in menopause yeah the inner autumn is really the training ground for it which is why you know as we get closer and closer to menopause yeah the inner autumn is really the training ground for it which is why you know as we get closer and closer to menopause like I'm in my mid-40s now um I experience the inner autumn more and more intensely and in fact there is a whiff of inner autumn all month long for me I've noticed yeah have you noticed? Because, you know, my training is being upped, you know, my training is being upped. And as I get closer and closer to menopause,

it's next level. So yes. So if you stay close to your cycle, you're getting trained and stepped up bit by bit by bit. We talk about getting fit for for menopause you're getting fitter and fitter and fitter so by the time menopause comes there's some tone in your psyche to be able to meet this yeah and I think this expands out too because I noticed like back to this critical provocative energy that we spoke about with this third new story when I feel more critical more discerning more angry in inner autumn and I let that out to my husband aid I just think I'm just getting him ready I'm just getting him ready yeah tempering him for the truth speaking power his muscles yeah to be able to receive my truth

good relationship tension building his yeah yeah you're so right sophie it's we're getting prepared for it but also uh if we're paying attention our whole lives are being prepared for this big change at menopause and so then it's less dramatic often the kind of changes we need to make because the inner autumn is constantly giving us feedback about where we're on track what needs to change what needs to go what's not working for us you know all the ways we've been conned as Alexandra said we're getting tastes of that constantly in our inner autumn so if we're honoring that by the time we get to menopause you know we may not need to completely you know swap out our husband children dog house job we might actually be

we might actually be in the right place and there might just be upgrades and tweaks needing to happen yeah yeah alexandra could you say a word or two? Because, you know, we're talking about people who might be in the run up to menopause. But can you say a word or two to someone who is in the middle of this and is truly feeling that they're losing it or might even feel like really resonate with what we were talking about with the danger moment for what to do today to be with that? Reach out for help. out just talk talk with someone and even if it is a doctor that you talk to um but it could be someone else who's going through menopause or a friend you have but don't be alone with it don't be alone and the other thing is if it's possible in any way to give yourself some space because it's exhaustion it's exhaustion that really pushes us over the line so just make rest a priority somehow within

the complexities of your life find ways to just take moments for yourself now you do have in menopause what we call a superpower and it isn't just jargon, it's actually very real and there's one very particular power we have which is the power of no. You actually have a greater capacity to say no to things. You can do it a lot more easily here. It's like estrogen, it's dropped, so you're not gonna be nice in the same way.

So it's easier to say no so just start saying no to more things to create space for yourself and if there isn't anybody to talk to then write write it out in a journal talk to your journal talk imagine there's a wise self you're writing to. Just imagine that there's a wise self you're writing to and just pour out your feelings and thoughts. I feel very strongly, I feel actually a bit teary saying all this, but yes, space and time and let yourself feel it and rest, rest, rest, wherever you can get some rest. Thank you. Right, we have our fourth old story of menopause and our fourth new story.

The fourth old story is that you're past your sell-by date. Your life is over. You're no longer relevant. There's this invisibility that can feel like it's happening. And the new story is, the new story, that wise power that you are telling is, you are more needed than ever before. To be a troublemaker in the world a disturber of the peace that's what it is you become a disturber of the peace post-menopause that's your vital role

you I mean you call it being the that menopause is the great awakener yeah so it's waking us up as troublemakers the quote in the book that i wanted to share is we think of menopause as the great awakener it's a call for you to wake up both to who you truly are and to your responsibility for life it's a personal initiation that also serves these times in which we're living humanity is facing unprecedented pressures and challenges on many fronts the very future of our planet is at stake we need to rise to these challenges and bring new creative responses to seemingly insurmountable problems and no one personal solution will provide the answer

we're all needed in our singularity and diversity to make a difference. In other words, you have an important part to play, big or small, public or private, a singular calling with which you've come coded. Menopause rewires you to serve life. It rewires you for a bigger job, literally. Your brain, your heart, everything about you. So this idea of we're past it is part of a, it's really part of that old paradigm of operating from a very particular set of powers. And know i think of uh you know it's power over it's about control and management and um it's a very different power that's coming on board at menopause and your brain is being rewired for a much more creative understanding or meeting with life. It's just opening up more possibilities.

So, you know, your brain is, yeah, you may. You know, I can walk to my fridge and go, you know, what was I going to get out of the fridge? You know, yeah, okay. Don't get hung up on that. That is just so freaking irrelevant. My brain has never felt more alive, more creative, more useful than it's ever been before. I am doing my most creative and interesting work now and my most demanding work now.

And, you know, my brain brain is very very active and alive so your brain power is powerful it's there it's there you know i'm not interested in detail don't ask me to hold give me the big cosmic problems to solve those are the best ones so you know I can literally feel how that rewiring happens and this is actually true I can't give you the science of it because it's not in me right now because I just don't I'm not interested in the detail I'm just interested in the punchline which is your brain is rewired for a different type of intelligence it's really rewired for wisdom but also you go through this huge psychological workout to be able to, as we said earlier,

to be able to channel this expansion of consciousness, this new light that's coming into the system. So in short, if I was to kind of sum it up, your ego goes through the washing machine, gets pummeled and it comes out a lot more humbled it doesn't die god forbid now you want to hold on to you guys very important but it's there's a kind of humility that comes in and it's as though and i've heard this from other people women you know in post-menopause country that you know there's this larger perspective around the kind of

individuality of who i am so of course i have to take i take care of myself absolutely as you can see i'm very fierce about it but um i can't I'm also in service it's very real and very tangible this bigger consciousness around me and it's actually quite a responsibility to hold it really is demanding and I think oh couldn't I just well I could I could just go off and shut up shop and not do it you could do that you're not you don't have to step up to this I don't because it's would be a comp I feel would be a compromise of myself ultimately would be like abandoning something in myself but that's particular to me so do we have a use by date no we are just getting started

and that feeling of being past it or irrelevant i think is very rooted in the kinds of values that our culture holds which again if we look at the menstrual cycle the first half of the cycle the spring in a spring in a summer the time of ovulation our culture values the beauty our sexuality our high energy generosity, our niceness. You know, there's so many qualities in that first half of the cycle that are revered and valued. Oh, our productivity, all these things. And actually what's happening when we go through menopause is we are stepping into a new set of powers,

which whilst our culture doesn't value them what we discover in fact is that these are the powers that are most needed in the really like going to steer us safely through the crisis that we're in. This is exactly what the world needs, these powers. And so, you know, menopause helps us to experience the dignity of these new powers and helps us to arrive in the world in this different way and really show how incredible post-menopause women are. I mean, when I look around at post-menopause people, I am just blown away. Like those who have really stepped up,

have taken responsibility for who they are. I mean, they are unstoppable. You know, I mean, I bow. And so I would love to see more and more people post-menopause in positions of leadership and power, because they are definitely not past they're used by in fact they are coming into their own at a time when it's most needed they're more needed than ever yeah you're walking us so beautifully into our next conversation which is going to be about this exactly this the power of menopause the powers that awaken in menopause so thank you shawnee that was great segue there you'd be amazed what you can do with a menstrual hangover hey yeah i'm impressed you're you're nailing it you just you've been disappearing from the screen every now and

then if we put this one up on youtube every now and then shawnee would just just leaves the screen because she just like used to lie down or something well thank you you too that was a complete pleasure i i would love to ask i'm going to put you on the spot if you could sum up this new story of menopause in one sentence, what would it be? For me, menopause is. It's about it's about coming home to yourself. It's about finally finding yourself and finding yourself to be enough and to find that in your enoughness your life is meaningful and has something to offer the world thank you so much for joining us today on the menstruality podcast this was the first in our menopause summer series of conversations that we're going to have every two weeks on the podcast

over the summer in the run-up to the launch of wise power discover the liberating power of menopause to awaken authority purpose and belonging the book is coming out on September the 20th and you can pre-order your copy today at wise power book comm and when you do pre-order you gain access to three different beautiful book bonuses and you'll also be notified we'll let you know about the book launch events that are pulling together with some incredible guests it's going to be an amazing couple of months in September and October this year we'd love to have you with us so you can find out about it and pre-order your copy at wisepowerbook.com and as ever thank you so much for listening and it's beautiful to be with you and I really look forward to being with you again

in the next episode and until then keep living life according to your own brilliant rhythm