The Menstruality Podcast - The Power, Intelligence and Pleasure Within Your Cervix (Olivia Bryant)

Episode Date: September 29, 2022

Today we’re talking about a much misunderstood part of the body… the cervix. Olivia Bryant is the founder of Self:Cervix, an organisation dedicated to revolutionising the way the cervix is viewed by the medical profession, by science and sex educators. She says:“As a sexologist and sex nerd, I know the cervix to be a powerful place of pleasure… For us, cervical orgasm is a thing worth exploring, just like Mars is for NASA”We explore:The spectrum of cervical awakening, from healing trauma, to enhancing pleasure, to cultivating states of deeply loving consciousness.The cervix is the only organ in the body that connects to three major nerves and it’s wired to feel PLEASUREThe connection between cervical orgasms and our capacity to relax into our naturalness, and receive support.You can now pre-order our new book! Wise Power: Discover the Liberating Power of Menopause to Awaken Authority, Purpose and Belonging here: https://www.wisepowerbook.com---Registration is now open for our live menopause course - Menopause: The Great Awakener. You can take your seat here: https://www.redschoolmenopause.com---The Menstruality Podcast is hosted by Red School. We love hearing from you. To contact us, email [e-mail]---Social media:Red School: @redschool - https://www.instagram.com/red.schoolSelf:Cervix: @selfcervix - https://www.instagram.com/selfcervix

Welcome to the Menstruality Podcast, where we share inspiring conversations about the power of menstrual cycle awareness and conscious menopause. This podcast is brought to you by Red School, where we're training the menstruality leaders of the future. I'm your host, Sophie Jane Hardy, and I'll be joined often by Red School's founders, Alexandra and Sharni, as well as an inspiring group of pioneers, activists, changemakers and creatives to explore how you can unashamedly claim the power of the menstrual cycle to activate your unique form of leadership for yourself, your community and the world. Hey, welcome back to the podcast. Thank you so much for being here. I'm amazed that we've now had over 50,000 downloads of this podcast. It's so exciting and I would love to hear from you. If there's someone you would love me to chat with, if there's a topic

you'd love to hear about, you can always email me at sophie at redschool.net. Now the conversation we're having today is one that I've been longing to have for a good long time now. We're talking about a much misunderstood and under explored part of the body, which is the cervix. Olivia Bryant who's my guest today is the founder of Self Cervix, love that name, which is an organization dedicated to revolutionizing the way the cervix is viewed by the medical profession, by science and by sex educators she says as a sexologist and sex nerd i know the cervix to be a powerful place of pleasure for us cervical orgasm is a thing worth exploring just like mars is for nasa so in the conversation we look at the spectrum of cervical awakening, which goes from healing trauma to enhancing pleasure to cultivating more loving states of consciousness. We look at how the cervix is the only organ in the body that connects to three major nerves and is how it's actually wired for pleasure and we look at the connection between

cervical orgasms and our capacity to relax into our naturalness or as at Red School we might call our wild power. So let's get started with the inimitable Olivia Bryant. Welcome Olivia to the Menstruality Podcast. I'm really, really excited about this conversation. You can probably see I'm like a four-year-old before Christmas. I'm just really looking forward to this. Me too. Yeah. I'd love to start by asking where did this all begin for you? You're someone who is passionately wanting to awaken the cervixes of the world. Yeah. How does that kind of journey, tremendous journey begin? Yeah. I would never, ever imagined that this would be my journey. I'd never set out to be like, this will be my path. I am going to make sure everybody is cervical orgasmic and everybody knows that their cervix is pleasurable.

I never, ever, it was one of those things that kind of found me. Like it, I think this is like, I have this beautiful relationship with my work that it kind of like, I feel that sometimes like it's like this entity and it kind of was like found me and it was like, oh, hi, you can do this, you know? And because honestly, when I started this work, I was very uptight and very sort of frustrated in my sexual journey. I was trained in sex coaching and sexology. So I was on the path from quite a young age when I realized I was very shy and filled with shame. And I could never really unblock myself orgasmically. And so even though I was working in the profession, I just chose like, okay, well, maybe my path is just to help with shame. And then after a while, I was like, oh my God, that is just like the biggest mountain. I don't know. I don't know if we'll ever be able to

conquer that one. And I actually kind of decided I didn't want to do it anymore. I quit because, you know, it's a very, it's a very big topic and it, it, it's a big, very big space to hold. And you have, I feel in myself that I have to keep finding, finding the, the, the, the bigness in me to hold this space. Right. And at that time, you know, I was much younger and I didn't, I didn't have it. Like, I think this, you know, when you're starting to work deeply inside of yourself and deeply inwardly, it's, it's quite a mature path and I didn't have it. So I quit, but just by sheer beautiful like synchronicity and divine, like in an intervention, I went for a internal body work

session because I had a lot of pelvic pain at the time. I was just coming out of a really challenging relationship. And, you know, I'm sure your listeners know that your body talks and my body had been shutting down and giving me signals for many months. And finally I left this relationship, but oh, my pelvis was just like literally closed for business. And that was around the time where I was like, I can't do this anymore. I'm not made for this path. And then I went for this bodywork session. And that was when I discovered that my cervix was numb because the body worker was basically telling me, I've got my finger on your cervix. And I was like, I can't feel anything. And, you know, because of my research and you know I was sort of romantically dreaming of these you know mystical orgasmic spiritual divine experiences that I'd read about I'd read that the

cervix was actually very sensitive and and and had many nerves and in fact has the most neural pathways to the brain out of anything inside of our pelvis, which is profound and makes sense since it's a birthing, like it's a birthing canal. So it's got to be intelligent, right? And yet mine was numb. And the mainstream understanding is that, you know, the cervix, that's just how it is. And you'll hear doctors, scientists, sex therapists kind of saying, oh, you know, you know, you know, if you're, if you feel uncomfortable, your cervix, that's just normal. That's, that's kind of how it's, how it is. I was like, it cannot be how it is. Like it, a, there are a lot of nerves there. B, if you've, you know, anything that is hurting in your body, anything that is in pain, that is not how it's meant to be.

I truly believe we're at our highest level, at our most elevated blissful potential. We are bliss-based beings, but, you know, the trauma of life and the limitations of being human, which is very kind of necessary in this human form, means that we have some pain, whether it's emotional pain or physical pain, but that doesn't necessarily make it normal. You know, it makes it common, but it doesn't make it normal. So when I started on the work, I discovered, yeah, I just basically started working with my cervix to try to bring some sensation because I thought, well, if I'm not, I'm not very orgasmic, number one, and I've got this very numb like place inside of me that is actually supposed to be quite orgasmic so that makes sense that i'm

not very orgasmic because there's a whole part of me that's completely numb cannot even feel and i've had like a you know a leap procedure or you might call it let's loop procedure where they um you know when you when you've had like a cervical dysplasia and they have to sort of cut a part of your cervix, it's very brutal. So I'd had, I'd had all that done. So a lot, there's like so many people have had that done to their cervixes. So, so yeah, so I went about a process of trying to, you know, bring some sensation back and did all this research and met amazing people and, you know, really started to be like, being open again, we can, we can, we can help this part of our body feel safe, you know, like this tissue, like it's safe to relax.

It's safe to feel you can let down your guard is the kind of mantra that I would speak to my cervix. And yeah, it was a year's long journey and i think that this is important to know that like what we're talking about here you know it's you know and you it's a spiritual awakening experience on one end at the at this one end it's like the this incredibly blissful like awakening to your oneness with everything and it's also like this incredibly blissful, like awakening to your oneness with everything. And it's also like this incredibly beautiful orgasmic rolling pleasurable experience. Or it's also just like, oh, there's more body and fullness to my sexual experience now because I can feel my cervix and

I'm including it consciously in my sexual practice. So there's like a whole spectrum of cervical awakening and it's all good, but it all might take time because everybody comes to this work with different circumstances, different bodies, different like capacity to hold sensation, to hold energy, to hold focus. So it took me some years to develop the capacity to create these states inside of myself. And yeah, and, and, and I also want to say that there's so much more to the work than just the, the goal of the, the orgasm for me, actually, because when I entered this work, I was not, I wasn't having cervical orgasms. People in the community were, and I was like, holy shit, I'm kind of eating this. What do I do? And I just realized like, you know, there are many ways to look at this.

And one of them is like, if you can do it, so can I, if this is your experience, like, like you're, you're not kind of more special than me or you or, you know, so if you can do it, maybe I can. So I'd always hold them in my space of possibility. Like we're all one woman, we're all one person with a cervix, like awakening. And I was like, look at the spectrum that's possible, you know, so that was one way and then you know oh gosh I don't know I just I just had to really realize that there was a story unfolding in this not just about the cervix but about the self which is beautifully kind of entwined in the name which also I didn't really mean just kind of happened that way that when you work with the cervix you're really working on yourself because you're working on all the ways you might have

you know held um crossed your own boundaries you know you might have um compromised and not spoken up uh had other people touch you in ways that you didn't want to be touched you know um the many things that happened to the cervix um that we might have previously been unconscious of or unaware of start to come to the surface so it's it's as deep as you want it to be what i'm really present to as you're speaking, well, is firstly, I just kind of want to say thank you to your cervix, because it feels like your amazing cervix has led you. Like you said, your work is like an entity that found you. I just find it so mystical that your cervix has been guiding you to this work. And now I don't know how many thousands of people have benefited

from this and how many more like thousands or millions in your lifetime it's really beautiful and the other thing I'm feeling into is just the the stories of the cervixes in our world and what and I have a long history with my cervix which started when I was 18 and a boyfriend slept with many other people and brought back chlamydia and gonorrhea to me at the age of 18 didn't tell me I went to the doctor because I had symptoms or he had symptoms and the doctor told me what happened. And it was a time of like huge pain and shame, you know, talk about shame. It was just, I felt tainted. I felt like damaged goods. It was very painful. It led to a whole bumpy journey with sex in my life. But what happened when they were examining me was the person was looking you know had the speculum what's it called speculum speculum in and was looking down my vagina and just went oh and I was like that is not the sound you want to hear when someone's looking down your vagina

she said I'm just going to go and get a colleague and so she went to get a colleague and before I knew it there were several people looking at my cervix because and they were they were really loving actually you know how yeah like when an examination of the cervix is done with love it changes everything doesn't it so there was they were real they were tender and loving so it didn't feel traumatic but there was a cyst on my cervix basically and they'd never seen it like that before and I'm quite grateful to that's this because it meant it means that through my life I've constantly I've always touched my cervix because I check in with the cyst it changes throughout the cycle month I check in with how it is and is it growing because there was a little bit of concern like would it um could that be why I because I experienced

infertility for a long time could that be why and I don't think it was but it has led to this relationship with my cervix which I'm grateful for because I think it's quite rare you know I don't think that many people even look at their vulvas and vaginas let alone sort of touch and explore and I guess I'm just sharing this to say that like you know don't doesn't every cervix have a story you know often involving pain and challenge you know that's right I was about to say that reflecting back I was like, I was like, yeah, and most of our stories are like, you know, I had this terrible these kind of stories. I mean, when have you ever heard someone saying, oh, I felt this beautiful sensation in my cervix today when I was like listening to this person talk or whatever it was, you know, like, or I had this incredible experience

while making love and, you know, like I just felt my cervix pulsing like you don't really hear that so much you know you don't really hear the positive reflections of the cervix so let's go there yeah I mean I was just actually thinking that would be a very cool thing to put out to community and just be like tell me about all the good things about your cervix yes I might do that when we put this podcast out. But let's go there because you've already mentioned that the cervix is the only organ in the body that connects to three nerves and that go to the brain. What does this mean? What does this mean for us and for our pleasure? Yeah, well, I mean, so the three sets of paired nerves, so two of them go through the spine and one of them, which is the very important vagus nerve, bypasses the spine straight to the brain.

And so, you know, the vagus nerve is just completely this compassionate, sensitive nerve that's in charge of your nervous system regulation. Like, you know, is it time to fight? You know, go over there. Is it time to relax? Okay, you can. And it's connected at the base to the dorsal end. So that is the oldest part of our vagus nerve, which for me, I make this up. This is not proven, but this is the nerve that you will see a, like, you know, it's very primitive, like a mouse playing dead when it's, you know, being chased by a cat. So it's like your freeze mechanism. So I've heard so many people say, you know, I'm just shut down. I'm frozen. My set, you know, sex, I'm just frozen, you know, say I've just down. I'm frozen. My set, you know, sex, I'm just frozen. You know, say I've just can't open.

I don't feel like we're all kind of so hyped up and stresses. It's like kind of like sexual freeze happens. So I'm curious about whether, you know, that function of the vagus nerve is impacting that. So the other thing that's interesting about the vagus nerve, that freeze place on the safe side becomes a very, very deep surrender. It becomes very, very deep, like rest and relaxation, right? It's so deep and like, I'm just going to sleep, you know, kind of that kind of feeling to it. So that is the place that we want to go to in the nervous system. We want this beautiful dance and this balance between the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system. But we are more parasympathetic dominant, which means we are more interested in cultivating relaxation during our lovemaking than that kind of like horny,

exciting, like you can have that, but it's great if you can just then start to drop down and start to relax into your pleasure more rather than, you know, going for when you go for a typical climax, usually you're more leaning towards the sympathetic side of your nervous system. That's like, you know, it's kind of like very activated. So, so the dance moves a little bit more to the, to the relaxing side, as you learn to kind of, you know you know, deeply sort of rest into your desire. So that's really, really important and is linked into the vagus nerve. I mean, the other part of it is like, not only do you have these three sets of paired nerves, but you have a very sensitive surface. So like there is so much

information and energy traveling from the cervix to the brain it moves upwards the signals move upwards it's called afferent signals so what is happening at the cervix is being communicated to heart to brain you know and so it's like super important like if you are not if you're having sex that isn't feeling good if you are going along with what's happening because you don't want to upset the status quo and it would just you know hurry up and make this be over like that kind of you know you know sex then you know it's like imagine that the signal is going to the heart and to the brain it's like shut shut down, shut down, shut down, which on one hand is really important.

You know, I don't really want to go into trauma and abuse, but you can just see how like the shutdown mechanism is used as a protective mechanism. But just like, let's just say really ordinary, not great sex, really ordinary, not great sex. So you're just like, and you know, when you're having not great sex really ordinary not great sex or you're just like and you know when you're having not great sex which we probably all have I hope I'm not alone in that no I'm here I've got my hand up we're having pretty not great sex you're not you're not present to all of the beautiful

feelings of sensation and like you're not like dropping into relaxation you're not present to all of the beautiful feelings of sensation and like you're not like dropping into relaxation you're kind of like in your head going oh this is really uncomfortable oh god this is not working or when am I gonna get there or is that are they enjoying it am I enjoying it like what is going on you know so that is going to cause because of how much information and energy is traveling from the cervix it's not helping as you know do you know what i mean so so so so important part you know how i said so much of this is about the self it's like that's why we have to look at like how do i the conditions that are great for me, for you, like in this container of lovemaking or self-pleasure, like what are the things that I need? And am I courageous enough? Can I be vulnerable enough to speak up and ask for them in those shitty sexual moments? Can I just be like,

hey, let's just pause. I feel like I'm disconnecting and then reconnect. Like so often we don't do that. We just, we just go along with it, you know, cause that's what our training is from very, very young ages, babies, you know? So, so, so it is to, to, to create these incredible, beautiful experiences during lovemaking. You know, we've heard this before, you know, speak up, communicate, da, da, da. But the reason is more than just, you know, it's more than just functional. It's literally about your nervous system. You know, it's like if you are feeling even just the slightest bit of

unsafety. And I mean, when I say unsafety, I don't mean I'm in danger. I mean, I'm just really, I feel disconnected. I feel like uncomfortable. You know, for example, my partner, he's looking away all the time. And I'm like, I'm feeling really unnerved by that. It doesn't leave me feeling very like seen, very connected with, or my partner is shutting his eyes all the time. And I'm like, where are you? Hi. You know, it doesn't leave me feeling connected and I stay safe.

So it's all about the nervous system because the cervix is so, so responsive. You know, it's like, it just calls us into a greater level of integrity around our communication and around, you know, meeting our needs, asking for our needs to be met, you know, communicating what, how, how, how is the other person in this as well? You know, it's not just all about me and my cervix though. Surprisingly, it's not just about me and my cervix are we sure so then if we are able to cultivate the conditions where our where we can be met in a way where safety exists then what becomes possible in terms of this connection between the cervix and the heart and the brain and I I could I'd like to share from personal experience because why not because I do that on the heart and the brain and I I could I'd like to share from personal experience

because why not because I do that on the podcast all the time it helps doesn't it just hear each other's stories and love to hear I have had wonderfully orgasmic cervically orgasmic sex and the states not off not often and especially not the moment because I've got a toddler and like trying to squeeze in sex is and even the the idea of squeezing in sex I just it's very hard for me to open when I know there's only 15 minutes and oh god I'm totally confused about how to do this but I know I know I'll figure it out and my cervix will show me the way, but I have been lucky to have cervical orgasmic sex and the state of consciousness during that. And after that, the calm, the bliss, the connection, the, the knowing the, just the yes-ness like, Oh, this is what life can feel like. This is what,

surely this is what life is supposed to be. And it's, I think there was a sort of resonance between me and the natural world in those moments of, see, this is how everything is existing in this kind of settled, endlessly creative state. So beautiful. I mean, can we speak about the potential of this? Yeah, I mean, there's so many layers to what you're saying. I mean, yeah, like, where do I even begin?

The incredible piece of this, when you said, like, this is how, what life could be about. Like, I think that this is what is happening, really the purpose of the profound, I say force, but it's like the strength or the magnitude of this energy that is stimulated from the cervix, catalyzed from the cervix. For me, it's like this cleansing energy. It literally feels like it's like this it's like this cleansing energy it just it like it's literally feels like it's

like like lifting my vibration up because it you cannot have this experience and be kind of depressed and like feeling you can't you know you can, it requires you to be like enamored in some way, you know, like feeling kind of like, ah, like through the heart as well. So you're kind of like lifting, lifting, lifting, right? And I'm playing with the idea right now that this energy, this energy that you're tapping into, it is the abundant energy of life. It is the abundant energy of life. It is the same. If we can tap into this and open through this field,

this is kind of the portal for manifestation. This is how we bring things into reality when we start like channeling this energy and moving in a lot. If you are also working on your emotional state as well, because I started having these experiences, these beautiful cervical orgasms and incredible. Do you want me to share about that? Oh, no, I definitely don't want to hear about that. I mean, I guess I wanted to say upfront, that it's different for everyone. And I think it's

different because we all experience life differently. Some people are more, you know, kinesthetic, some people are very visual, some people are are more, you know, kinesthetic. Some people are very visual. Some people are very emotional, you know? So I want to like put a caveat. Don't try to get something that you've heard something, someone else have like, like just let it open and show you what your unique experience is of it. Like, I think we can, I used to do this a lot.

Like, okay, so I'm supposed to feel this and it's like you can't because you're not present so I just want to lay that down um so for me it's like um oh how do I I remember the first time it happened um I thought I was an alien. I thought my partner was an alien. And I was like, what even are we? Are we human? What is this? What are we on this information?

What are we supposed to do with this information? You know, like it was like otherworldly, like just crossing through a portal into a different dimension where like I was, you know, like I became light. We became light together and just completely redefined what lovemaking is to me, what sex is to me. Completely put it into an entirely new realm of experience. huh oh my god okay so this is love making like wow we're making love to each other and we're making love with the divine and we're connected to the whole and the everything we become the like, it's like, wow. So, so, so that was my experience. So, so, I mean, imagine if more of us are redefining, like, like, and I also want to say there are so many stages, like I said at the beginning. So like, for me, it's like celebrate every single like piece of pleasure, like every

like a little opening and awakening. And it's all with your single like piece of pleasure, like every like a little opening and awakening. And it's all with your mind in the beginning, you know, you're like, oh, you know, I'm just going to choose it. All of this pleasure is actually little orgasms running through my body. You know, like I'm, I'm just going to say I'm, I'm, I'm orgasmic right now, you know, and, and, and so be it, you know, it's's very much about like like word faking it when it comes to sex is so weird but like it is like faking it till you make it because you you're trying on like this is happening to me this is and I'm finding evidence of it rather than which I hear a lot I'm not feeling anything but I'm not feeling anything but I'm still numb but I've got this but

you know but but you know I haven't had an orgasm yet and I'm like well anything, but I'm still numb, but I've got this, but, you know, but, but, you know, I haven't had an orgasm yet. And I'm like, well, what has happened? What are you feeling? You know, like focus there, like, where is the pleasure? The more you focus on that, the bigger it grows, right? Right. That's a universal principle. So I think the potential, when we all start waking this energy up and we're, we're on our well-being because I think that's where I was going to go with the story is um I had this incredible incredibly deep experience with this person who was just an inappropriate long-term partner and we had to leave the relationship and it was deeply fucking painful like very very very heartbreaking took me a long time to get over and you know I couldn't really

hold that frequency you know I just really couldn't hold it I just I was in deep grief for a long long long long time and and you know then it brought up a whole nother layer of healing and you know so now now now now things are different now like, okay, so now we've got this energy flowing and I'm working on my wellbeing and like actually my emotional state. Like, you know, I'm feeling better than I ever have in, I don't think I remember feeling this good. And I, and all the synchronicities that are, that are happening are amazing. And, you know, the creative flow, you know, is amazing. Like, especially after this experience with this person, like, I think that was when the portal opened into this creative, like, into this relationship with this spirit of self-service where I felt like I was literally I'd run up into my room every night and like close the door and like, listen. And then I'd get all

the information that I needed. It was just like profound experience of receiving. And this is what this is. This is like, you are expanding your capacity to receive creativity, insight, money, all of it. It's all part of this funnel of energy that we are like the, the, the, the narrow end of a funnel. And like, we're like we're narrow end of the funnel to everything and even if if you don't if you don't wake if you don't have a cervical orgasm you can still be the narrow end of the funnel for everything as long as you're working on your emotional elevation like there are many ways we can experience our connection to the divine right so like that's really important as well so like that's what i think the potential is

of all of this like it's it's i think we're evolving and right now humanity is doing well at least in privileged places we're doing a lot of trauma healing you know we're really trying to wake up and look at the past and and move on and heal the wounds of the past so that we can start to move into a different dimension and way of being and i think like this is where i'm like i feel like sometimes like this is just like the the i'm just starting you know and it's like at some point maybe 200 300 400 i don't know how many hundred years maybe maybe not maybe 50 years i don't know. Maybe this will be in a place where we have more access to this because there'll be more mothers who are birthing children who have more empowered relationship to their sexuality. It's happening now.

That's happening now, right? And more awakened parents, at least in some places are you know doing the best job they can with all the information there is about parenting you know to to help bring empowered little child children into the world that love themselves yeah i often ask myself what are the what are going to be the key turners that allow humanity to continue living on earth basically you know because I've come from an environmental activist background I worked for an organization called Tree Sisters where we paired consciousness change with reforestation and when I hear you speak I just think wow imagine a world where people are supported to open up soften relax heal trauma

and become these funnels you know could that not be a big key turner in us finding the solutions of how we actually live in balance on our earth you know that the cervix is a gateway for life literally you know babies pass through the cervix when they're born. I mean, my baby didn't, my baby came through the sunroof, but that's a whole other story, but it's, it's the gateway. And, you know, it feels like what you're pointing to is, is it not, could the cervix not be the gateway for so much more? That's, that's what's so profound about it.

I call it the cervix of two sides. I just see it as like this, we're manifesting, still trying to find what is it like that we're doing? I know we're birthing, we're manifesting and I know we're orgasming, but there's something else that we're doing. It's like, maybe we're receiving where, to pause this epic conversation for a moment to share some resources so firstly if you're loving exploring the power the intelligence of your cervix we really recommend olivia's website self cervix.com where they have all kinds of resources to support you whether you're at the beginning of this journey or to keep deepening your experience also menstrual cycle awareness and the practice of conscious menopause are such a powerful ally

in this work so if you're still in your menstrual cycling years, we recommend you explore our Love Your Cycle program, which is at redschool.net forward slash love. And if you are in perimenopause or heading into your menopause years, then we want to warmly welcome you to our Wise Power Retreat, which is coming up on October 11th to the 18th. And you can find out all about it at wisepowerretreat.com. Okay let's get back to this mind-blowing conversation with the amazing Olivia Bryant. And you're in a real quest with this at the moment aren't you? I was just sort of

reading through your social media and you speak about you're speaking a real quest for this at the moment, aren't you? I was just reading through your social media and you speak about, you're speaking a lot about really beautiful things like how to be in the void and how our cervixes teach us about how to be with the voids in our lives, the grief, the illnesses, the fallow times. You've been doing some beautiful speaking about how you're in a kind of void with this work that you can feel that something new is coming through and you're hinting at it. And it's exciting. I've never been in this place before with this work. It's very, very interesting. And I think it has to do with what I'm speaking about. I have done so much work over seven years in the healing of us, the healing of me for you, for all of us, like healing us, like bringing through teachings that are going to help us awaken. And, and now I feel like, okay, so, you know, first of all, I think it's good to say like everything that I have taught, I have had to learn and understand

and walk this path for myself. Right. So after, after a few years, then you're repeating it and repeating it. And now I feel like in my personal evolution, I feel like I'm moving into the next phase. Okay. So this is all of like, this is, this is layer one and it's, and it is, it's, it's amazing. And I was different then. And now I'm changing, I'm transforming and I'm still trying to find this, this new frequency that I'm, that is, that is coming through, but it is about literally expanding to receive everything. Like this is, this is the, this is the, this is what I'm calling in, which is, which is like, we are expanding to receive everything, whether it's in orgasm or whether it's in, you know, our capacity to be in connection with life or whether it's you know prosperity or whether it's love it's like we

are kind of ultimately all in a journey of learning how to become like like in connection with and receivers of um the the the the the divine I guess I don. I don't, I don't, like I said, I'm still hard to find words. Yeah. I'm trying to find it at the moment, but I just know, like, I'm moving from, you know, from, from here now I'm into full on deep, like, okay, I'm out of that phase in my life, which was a lot of like learning through hardship. Actually, if I, if I'm truly honest, it was like learning through pain, like the pain and numbness of my cervix, the many relationships I had to go through in order to understand this more and more, because every partner that I was with

opened a little gate to it a little bit more and a little bit more. And then to my last partner, where I had these extremely beautiful, like, wow, experiences. that's done. And I understand how it works. Okay. So now I've got that piece of the teaching. Now the next piece is now I'm in full creation mode. Like now it's like, okay, I'm, I'm done from creating from hardship. Now I'm like creating from like excitement and love for like, like I'm creating from expansion is, is probably the best way to put it. And, and what I'm trying to do right now is, is, is incubate, I'm incubating a whole lot of conversations inside of myself that, you know, have to do with like, even, even beyond the cervix, it's like, like leadership and, and, and, you know, the, the wounded healer paradigm

of, of not being able to receive, like, you know, feeling deep guilt around, you know, around charging, you know, all of these things, these old paradigms that I'm, I'm feeling like this is all connected to the, to, to cervical orgasm and this energy, this sexual energetics, It's all connected. So that's where I'm at. And so it's a very strange place for me to be because I'm usually initiating and working. And at the moment, I'm just like taking this pause, you know, just taking a pause and sitting in the void.

And it was uncomfortable for a while. And now I'm finding it deeply relaxing. And I'm not actually feeling any kind of pressure to create before I'm ready and follow any like, like, you know, like trying to keep visible or, you know, fighting for a voice in this big noisy world of social media. I really don't care. Like I truly believe that our magnetic resonance speaks more than whether I've written, you know, a couple of Instagram posts. It's like, if you have one contact with me and it's meaningful, then I trust that you'll be back when you want to, you know what I mean? That's, that's the place where I'm sitting at. And that's a new frequency. It's like, we don't, you know, we don't have to push so hard.

We can just, it was always been about this with cervical orgasm. It like how do we rest in our naturalness more because this is actually letting go and it's letting go of story and it's letting go of your identities and it's letting go of your limitations and it's becoming the everything right it's like who are you when you're not like your identity self who are you you're completely released of all of it and you're just a free-flowing stream of energy that's that's what you are it's so it's so beautiful to to track you right now because one of the core facets of our work at red school is how connection to the menstrual cycle and to the menopause process allows us to come closer to our calling and to our unique genius and one is one of my passions in life is just supporting people to

to follow their callings because I really genuinely believe that the more the more of us that are supported to do that again the more of us can find the information and that's needed to to create the change in our world and to watch you right now like having created this amazing body of work to watch you be in this really intimate process of listening to to your calling and your genius and where it's taking you now and to see your courage it's very beautiful to see your courage, it's very beautiful to see your willingness and your courage to stay in the unknown with it, which is very hard. I mean, I don't want to say it's hard because you're saying you don't want to learn too hard anymore, but it's a challenge to be with that uncertainty. This is the interesting thing. Where I'm at now in my life is I'm not finding it hard at all. And I used to, I used to, I used to be like, where's, where's the Akashic reader? Where's the tarot cards? Like, where's the

astrology? What's going on? Cause you know, when you're running your own business, it's like, sometimes it's like, where am I in time and space? Like what's going on? But now, like, i think this is where this is okay so here's another big big piece of this which is which is where you know there's two streams it's a cervical awakening stream and there's the self stream and the self stream lands in sovereignty and when you're fully sovereign you're just like completely free and you're completely my my heart just feels like somebody else having this great conversation with someone in a support call. And they were very scared and saying, I should go on a date. I should. Why? I was like, why should you? Just because people say, what is it like to just get into like the best relationship between you and you and then you it doesn't matter like whether you're in relationship with someone or whether

you're on your own you're just like this expanded radiant light and so you decide like from joy oh yeah i want to connect with someone or you just stay in your light and like i said i don't even notice that i'm on my own i don't even notice i don't even notice i feel that released from like from you know all my stuff's in storage right now i i'm just released from pretty much everything and like this is i think that the the stream of the self is towards sovereignty, which is a state of living on like it's, I suppose, interdependence. You know, it's like I'm with you and I'm great on my own. You know, I love being with people, but I also love being on my own. And I'm not in a state of need.

I'm not in a state of need I'm not in a state of needing to know I'm not in a state of needing needing loves people I'm not even in a state of needing sex to be quite honest I'm just like in this full state so we'll see we'll see I was like I wonder how long this will last it's fun yeah where am I going next well I mean I believe in like the you can't always stay up right it's always like you know it's movement yeah yeah it's beautiful to witness you in this moment right now and it's a powerful testimony to the depth of the of this work of the self cervix work and what becomes possible when we actually work with our cervixes to perhaps awaken what or remember their their function in our in our beings

ultimately it's just remember the self remember the self i i'd love to ask you for someone listening who is feeling in a numb place right now what are the what are some beginning practices or you know like I I ebb and flow I find myself like right now I feel very alive with you in this conversation you know my I can I can feel my cervix yeah like throbbing yeah you know I'm turned on I'm turned on in that kind of vocational orgasm way like this is my favorite kind of conversation to have but there are obviously times throughout my day in my life when you know I I feel shut down I get activated or triggered by something and so either in those moments or for someone who is feeling

just a numbness and a shutdown because of whatever circumstances they felt, what are some beginning ways to sort of start to cultivate this relationship and awaken the cervix? Well, I think the first thing is, is can you be in the void with with trust and faith? Because it can be very easy to be in the void. Cause I'll call this a void. You know, when you're feeling like numb, it's literally like this emptiness. It's like, I don't feel, I don't feel. And it's like, you might want to reach for the biggest vibrator that you can just to feel something, you know, like just see if you can hold space for yourself with like deep compassion and acceptance, knowing it's temporary, putting trust in the temporariness of the void. And then I would say, you know, there, there, it depends. Everybody's different. Like,

it depends what you want. Like, if you are feeling shut down, like you can't even go into your own body, then don't make yourself do anything that you don't want to do. Like possibly it's not the time we've got to listen. So, you know, a lot of people just, just enjoy, you know, working first of all, in an area that feels more safe, like breasts and, you know, like just really starting to awaken that area of the body and see what they can feel there. Or vulva, there are, there are places that you can touch into that don't necessarily require a lot of your vulnerability and a lot of your capacity. And I think what people are afraid of often is like, what if I touch inside and I can't feel anything? And so I would just say, well, what if, you know, it's like,

don't, what meaning are you making? You know, what meaning are you making around the feeling and experience of numbness and realize it's, that's the story that's just adding more and more stress to the situation. There is no meaning around numbness. It's just where you are right now. And it's just meeting it with love and gently over time, you know, you know, if you are ready, stimulating it and being more conscious with it, you know, literally doing the work to, to start waking up any kind of sensation. And that, that could mean, you know, it takes 10 minutes to even feel a tiny bit of resonance. And the other thing to know is sometimes sensation of the cervix feels really different. You might not feel much at the surface, but over time, and especially so, you know, if you can stimulate it for a period of,

you know, five minutes, you know, I'm just acknowledging that it's not always easy for some people with body shapes and, you know, anatomies. And, you know, so I just want to say, if you can, then the, the, the, the, the sensation can be deeper. It can be like into the belly. It can, it can be something that is unlike what you might be looking for. So that's why you have to stay very open and inside every numbness, there is something there. It's like numbness is like a jacket that your body, your skin is put on just to not feel. And so you're just with it and you're just interested in inquiring what might be beneath the numbness. And it's interesting because when you put your mind in what might be beneath the

numbness, your mind might go beneath the numbness, you know, and just start to give pleasure like learning even how to be with numbness as a sensation and experience is part of it learning how to be with emotion emotions you know being with grief being with rage it's all part of it because it's all learning to expand your capacity capacity to feel. If you are very used to using a vibrator, you have unwittingly probably trained yourself to feel the nerve that connects to the clitoris moves, you know, the most peripheral nerve. You probably have a far more trained pathway to that nerve than the ones to your internal world to your cervix to your vagina and so uh the it's it can be very challenging at the beginning of the journey because you're used to like a quick like and it's like and it's sort of fun but then you go inside it's like boring as and you're just like this is never gonna get i'm never gonna get anywhere and so you have to kind of believe you have to kind of look at me and look at you

and be like okay well they can do it so cannot it's just that I've trained in a different way and I just need to start training in another way so I'm not a purist a lot of people would say I do say I do say put your button like I do say I know to vibr, put your, like, I do say I'm a no to vibrators. Like you've got your finger, we don't need vibrators, you know? And it's just like, I didn't use to be, I realized they had a part, they had a very important part to play in my life, which was to teach me how to have a clitoral orgasm. But I also realized that over time it was doing me a disservice.

So I would recommend putting that away, that away or throwing it out better still. And start including your internal world in your self-pleasure more with your partner. Ask your partner to tell you when they're on their cervix. Communicate and get more in touch with what's going on inside of you so so yeah it's all about you know practicing a new way even when it's boring even when it's in the void because I was in the void for a couple of years when I was trying to you know, feel more. After a year, I started to get more sensation. Like for me, it was actually my whole internal environment.

You know, I was pretty numb. So there was a lot of what we call de-armoring to do, which is trigger pointing, pressure pointing, like stimulating the internal environment with you know you know different kinds of gentle movements and pressure and using my wand if anybody is interested you know i've got i think there's a like a little guide on our site where they can learn how to do this kind of thing which is called de-armoring releasing the protective guard so that you can

start to feel. There are so many things that you can do. Like there's so many things that you can do. It's just going to be dependent on what you're comfortable with. And the important thing is that you honor yourself wherever you get to. Yes. Could you point to a couple more resources on your site that I can then link to in the show notes for people who like to begin? Yes. If you are just starting out, we have free guides. We have how to find your C-spot. And then we have the initiation journey, which is a really gentle, deep experience of healing and awakening pleasure and the lover inside of us and then the journey will just continue watch out for I'll be doing there's so much free there's so

many free videos on my Instagram site if anybody's interested I share so much on there for free. So go there. If you feel like you are just kind of emotionally triggered and finding it difficult to connect with yourself, connect with your emotions, relationship stuff is kind of sideswiping your ability to feel safe in your body, then the self-partnership, which is essential for this as well. So it's all on my site. But the free stuff, yeah, the guides are there. There's a one called about interstellar lovemaking, which is cool. And the free videos on Instagram, I'm sure there'll be heaps there for people to look at. Brilliant. Thank you, Olivia. I'll link to all of those in the show notes. You know, I have 8 million questions to ask you, but it feels like a nice place to gently close the

conversation is to talk a bit about surrender. Because I think surrender is a word that gets thrown around and it's sort of lost, lost meaning. Yeah. And it also feels to me at this point in my life, it's not something that you could actually do. It's something that happens. And that came to me through my birthing experience, where I was sort of preparing myself to surrender and let go and surrender and let go. And then eventually the experience took over me and I became surrender

was what there aren't any words to describe it but that's what I'd say happened and I know there's a you speak about it and there's a big connection between surrender and the cervix and the awakening of the cervix so could you speak to your experience of surrender yeah gosh that word used to trigger me so much I'd be in this workshop they'd be like just surrender surrender I'd be like what do you mean and it always has just before like just surrender as if it's the easiest thing just surrender surrender I know I know I know like as if being completely relaxed and natural was easy. Yeah.

So surrender in the nervous system is that dorsal vagus. It's like deep immobilization on the safe side. So it is actually in your nervous system. So you do have to, there is a journey to get there. There is like this place in your brain that, you know, needs to, things need to happen in your brain based on what's happening with your breath and your emotional world and you're feeling safe. And, and, and the focus you're like, I teach a lot in our fun and rapture, which is the third program i teach on surrender and surrender it's a it's a very it's actually a very deep very deep teaching um and i i try i won't be able to share like the entire depth of it but i think the way to say it is you are no you are no longer kind of like micro-focused on like,

how is this feeling? How am I feeling? Am I getting there? Am I getting there? That's definitely not surrender. You're not even focused just on the sensation that you're feeling, though that's a part of it. Your whole experience of your senses have moved into, all of your senses have become one.

It's like your brain isn't fixated on one thing. It's like everything has kind of opened up your, all of your senses have just become one. And you can, you're in a, in this state of absolute receiving through them and that kind of focus like open focus and openness to receive is what surrender feels like to me because I'm not thinking anymore right so think about even surrender is not just, I'm like the star relaxed, but it's like, I'm just in the absolute flow of the moment. Like I'm in an inner flow state. I have surrendered to the, the, the thing that's happening that I, like you said, I am the thing that's happening. There is no me anymore. Right? So like you're in a complete state of release. You just became the birth. You became birthing. You become orgasm. It's the same. You know,

this work was inspired by the orgasmic birthing movement. A lot of the practices come from the birthing movement, from that movement. So it's the same. And I know that's not that helpful for people who have no context of the greater, like all of it. I think the best thing that I can say is just, you know, stay absorbed in the experience. Don't worry about having to think about surrendering. Just absorb yourself in the amazing, beautiful things that are occurring with all of you.

That's beautiful. Thank you, Olivia. Oh, I've enjoyed this conversation so much. Thank you for sharing. Oh, I've enjoyed this conversation so much. Thank you for sharing your some of the resources. I think people will have a sense of where to go next if they feel awakened by this conversation like I do. Is there any final word that you'd like to share? Perhaps for someone who is feeling really intrigued by this and wants to take a next step or yeah some final words you'd like to share yeah I mean I guess what I guess I guess what I who I want to speak to is the people who feel like oh I'm you know this you know this isn't for me or this is too big for me and I just want to say you know that that was me once you know like once I was like this this experience it would never happen to me. I just,

I see other people having, having that experience and I'm broken or I'm inadequate or I'm, you know, just, you know, not wired the right way. And I would say like, if this is something that you really want to experience, hold this vision for yourself in the context of your entire lifetime. Like just hold this vision, like, you know, in the, in, in, in this lifetime, I'm going to walk this path of growth and evolution and see what opens up to me and see what I can, can, can uncover and see what I can feel and let that be enough. Like, you know, I was always prepared. Like I might never have this experience. I was actually really prepared for that. And I was okay with it because I started to get so much richness from the journey itself. So, so, so hold this, you know, you know, rather than being like,

you know, I really want to have a cervical orgasm. And so you, you know, you start the practices and you've been doing it for a week. You've been doing it for five weeks. You've been doing it for, you know, a couple of months and you're like, I haven't had a cervical orgasm. It's all over, you know, it's like, no, no, no, no, no. Like frame it in the, in the, in the context of a light over a lifetime, like think about it like this. This is, this is where I'm standing is a spiritual path right this is not like a quick thing it's like this is a path of devotion to yourself

to to self-love no matter no matter what happens it's like i'm in i'm in no matter what happens so so i think that's what i want to say is like, you know, this work can meet you wherever you're at, but it's up to you to hold the level of desire, commitment, you know, like vision for it and come in where you're at and it's enough, yeah. Even if you feel like you're the most shut down person, you know, it's like we move over time.

Wow. Thank you for joining me today for that immense conversation with Olivia. Thank you for being part of the community gathered around this work and for being part of this movement to honour, to name and honour and dignify the wisdom and the intelligence of our bodies. I'm really looking forward to being back with you again next week. And until then, keep living life according to your own brilliant rhythm.