The Menstruality Podcast - Your Cycle = Your Key to a Purpose-Filled Life (Alexandra & Sjanie)

Episode Date: February 10, 2022

What is the connection between your menstrual cycle and your purpose in life? Today we’re talking about the hidden agenda within the menstrual cycle. Each cycle month - if we’re paying attention - our cycles are bringing each of us home to our uniqueness, to our genius, to a life full of meaning.In this episode, Alexandra and Sjanie, the founders of Red School, and authors of Wild Power, explore:What is our Calling? How can we recognise it? And how does our menstrual cycle awareness practice help us to cultivate an intimacy with it, track it and learn how to embody it?How the different phases of our life help us embody and realise our Calling, our ‘Wild Power’: starting with our first bleed at menarche, through our fertile years, and culminating at the great initiation of menopause.How to ‘dock in’ to your Calling at menstruation, receive guidance about your next best steps and get clear about how to make them manifest in the world. ---Registration is open for our 2022 Menstruality Leadership Programme. You can check it out here: https://www.redschool.net/menstruality-leadership-programme-2022---The Menstruality Podcast is hosted by Red School. We love hearing from you. To contact us, email [e-mail]---Social media:Red School: @red.school - https://www.instagram.com/red.school

Welcome to the Menstruality Podcast, where we share inspiring conversations about the power of menstrual cycle awareness and conscious menopause. This podcast is brought to you by Red School, where we're training the menstruality leaders of the future. I'm your host, Sophie Jane Hardy, and I'll be joined often by Red School's founders, Alexandra and Sharni, as well as an inspiring group of pioneers, activists, changemakers and creatives to explore how you can unashamedly claim the power of the menstrual cycle to activate your unique form of leadership for yourself, your community and the world. Hey, welcome back to the Menstruality Podcast. Thank you so much for joining us and for listening today. We're exploring the connection between your menstrual cycle and your purpose in life today.

We're talking about the hidden agenda within the menstrual cycle. So each cycle month, if we're paying attention, our cycles are bringing each of us home to our uniqueness, to our genius, and to a life that's full of meaning. In this episode, Alexander and Sharni look at a few different interesting questions like, what is our our calling what does that even mean and how can we recognize what our calling is and how does our cycle awareness practice help us to cultivate an intimacy with it they also look at how the different phases of our life help us to embody and realize our calling starting with our first bleed at menarche and then moving through our fertile years and culminating in the great initiation of menopause. And lastly they explore how you can

dock in to your calling every time you bleed to receive guidance about your next best steps and to get clear about how to make them manifest in the world. Good morning, you two. It's such a joy to be chatting with you this morning. I'm loving our conversations for this podcast. I think, yeah, we're just having such a blast, aren't we? How are you both doing today oh how am i doing today sophie i am i had this quality of um excitement because it's that the moon is rising it's coming you know it's about day nine or something but the days are getting longer i know what the word is it's slightly intoxicated sophie by this lovely emerging energy. And I'm just incredibly happy because I love having these conversations with Shani and you. I love it.

I woke up this morning and actually before we got on this call, Sophie, I was just saying to Alexandra, I can't think of anything more pleasurable to do this morning than sit with the two of you and talk about this. I just feel, I feel so, yeah, it really just connects me to joy and pleasure and, you know, what sets me alight. So yeah, I'm very, very happy with doing this. And of course, I'm, where am I in my cycle? I'm day eight. And wow, I feel so wholesome today. I feel so wholesome. I have this experience of goodness in my body. And I feel like I'm filled with light. I feel like I'm filled with light. It's such a beautiful place to be. And, you know, it wasn't that long ago that I was bleeding. And I have to tell you, this previous, body, heart, mind. There was so much letting go, so much yuck, so much, and I didn't feel good at all.

I felt like I was in this heavy, you know, undoing. And I tell you what, although I whined and moaned at the time it was so worth it because I feel like I've offloaded lifetimes and um coming out into my spring now yes this feeling of uh goodness and light it's it's like there's so much more space in my system so I'm loving it I'm loving loving the inner spring not always the case by the way not always the case I'm really aligned with you both because I felt myself click into renewal the renewal chamber of menstruation at about 10 past 10 last night as I was falling asleep. Talk about cycle awareness. You can name the minute. It was so obvious though. And I just, I love the five chambers. And for

anyone who's listening, who hasn't explored them, there's quite a deep exploration of the five chambers in Alexandra and Shani's book, Wild Power. And we will definitely do a podcast episode soon about the five chambers. it's so good it was so distinct because I put my head on my pillow and even though the whole family is coming down with a virus and you know again and it's just you know we're in the bleep of everything again I put my head on the pillow and I thought I'm just so happy and I went ah day four day four is coming and I'm in renewal so it feels like we're beautifully aligned for this conversation which is um possibly one of your favorite things to talk about because you wrote a whole book about it which is how our menstrual cycle awareness can be

the key to living a life that feels full of meaning and purpose. And I want to dive right in with a question. So in the book, Wild Power, you share this radical idea that there's a hidden agenda within our menstrual cycle process and menopause process, that it's helping us to embody our calling to live our unique genius to live a life of purpose and I want to ask you how you know this to be true? Ah Sophie it is a profoundly deeply felt sense that has grown in me over the years Sophie, this knowing that's led to making that statement. It's come out of a deep fidelity to my cycle over the years and then going through menopause and now in post-menopause country looking, I can really see the whole pattern at work very clearly. I think when you're in it, you don't have the same kind of clarity, although it's not entirely true because I could feel when I was menstruating, I could feel the process, but I can feel the completeness of it now, now that I'm post-menopause. So,

yeah, it was almost like a revelation that was waking up in me as I was attending to my cycle. So first and foremost, it was the experience of menstruation itself where I was having these incredible feelings of plugging into myself and rooting down into my being which of course you know it's available to all of us this all the us in menstruate this experience and having this feeling arise in me of oh yeah this is who I am yes and the the interesting thing is Sophie I didn't often if you could if you were to ask me well you know what who were you it wasn't like I could give you words for who I was, but I was having this powerful experience of affirmation that all was well, but most importantly that my life was meaningful, that there was something working itself out in me. And yes, sometimes I did have very kind of clear visionary experiences of,

yes, that's what I need to be doing so there was sort of direction as well but there was this feeling of my life is meaningful so menstruation gave this to me and this was so crucial for me because I carried like too many of us I carried an awful lot of shame and so I was kind of outside myself you know know, because of that. But menstruation would pull me back into myself. And then, you know, month after month, I was really learning how the cycle, the cycle itself, not just not just menstruation, but the whole cycle was in cahoots with what was happening at menstruation to make real what I was experiencing and you know finally to have words for it over time and really I can remember when I was coming

up to menopause how things crystallized and clarified for me and I need to say that it did not come from my brain it did not come from my brain. It did not come from my sort of left brain, logical, rational brain, which I love and is very, very strong in me. I love that side of myself. It was something that arose from my being. It was a feeling state.

You know, Alexandra, as you were speaking, the phrase that really struck a chord with me was you said uh administration i was pulled into myself i think that's been my experience is the attention to my cycle which means really attention to myself and how I'm changing, really pulls me into myself. It gives me this experience of deeper presence in myself and an intimacy with who I am and how I am. You know, there's something about, well, there's everything about that

that has connected me to my own knowing, rather than me sort of being seduced by what I think I should do or what other people are doing or how I think I should be in the world, cycle awareness pulls me into myself and pulls me into my own knowing and really holds me to who I am. And that, of course, is that's the heart of our calling. Who we are is the heart of what we have to give. I really want to explore the word calling because it might mean a lot of things to some of our listeners and not much at all to others. So I want to go there. But just before we do, could you illustrate and bring a bit more color into this experience of being pulled into who you are? What does it feel like? What does it look like when your cycle is pulling you back to who you are? What it feels like and what it looks like is for me it comes from me orientating first and foremost to myself

so something about me docking into myself being being aware of myself, tuning into myself before I come out and connect and engage with the world around me. So, you know, cycle awareness, this is the practice of cycle awareness. It's asking myself, what day of my cycle am I on and how am I doing? How am I feeling? And immediately that brings a whole different quality to my day. I'm suddenly like, oh, this is how I am. This is what my, you know, this is where my impulses lie. This is what my needs are. I suddenly have this ecosystem that I'm inhabiting. And that gives me the strong ground. I feel inside myself. And then I can start to move and be in the world that is respectful of that, that is honoring of that. So actually, when you first asked me the question, Sophie, interestingly, seductive that is, and how we seem to spontaneously move away from feeling, from how we

feel. It's fascinating to me. And then coming into relationship with how things really are, how we really do feel, can be quite bumpy. It's sort of a bit of a negotiation for me often of going, oh, no, I'm not as clear as I'd like to be or as coherent or as articulate as I'd like to be today but how am I oh okay I feel I feel awkward today or oh I feel uncomfortable in my own skin coming into connection with that is um it it's work it is work and then what what yes go on I'm just gonna say and then from that okay awkward I'm awkward what's that what's that feeling like then you're then you've gone off down a whole different path than the direction you would have gone if you're going I'm fine I'm fine I'm going to proceed with the shoulds and the oughts and who knows what that awkwardness is going to open the door to precisely so exactly this is actually really really important so when we start to

experience disturbance in the cycle um instead of you know saying oh yeah i feel all shitty and reactive today if you pause and go yeah i am shitty and reactive today. That's like a flare the cycle is sending up to you. It's a warning sign. It's a flare that something is amiss or off. And in stopping and feeling into it, you drop down and go, what is behind that? Oh, I need to go more slowly today. And I need a bigger buffer around me

because something else is trying to happen. And so you're recognizing that you're in a very particular territory that requires buffering and spaciousness for some other kind of experience or knowledge to happen. You know, the cycle really does kind of talk to you or call to you or as you say pull. I mean I was literally pulled into the cycle because I had outrageous menstrual pain. It was so shocking the pain. The pain was off the Richter scale. It was so crazy and it would go for three or four days and I wasn't going to take drugs of all that time it just they knew that would mess with me I mean you know the body

really literally pulled me I had to go with the pain I could not I had to stop all the other stuff and in going into that you know then the body the cycle revealed something else to me over time yes and sophie you use that phrase when we notice how we are that takes us down an entirely different pathway to the one we might have gone with if we were in a more sort of automatic, unconscious, unaware mode. And where that takes us is deeper into ourself, just as Alexandra has described, that awkwardness or that pain is a gateway to an extraordinary power that you hold and it doesn't look like that on the surface it doesn't look like that on the surface and the reason this is relevant in terms of calling is because your who you are that power that you hold is what you get to bring to the world. It is something of your gift.

It's something of your singularity. You know, it's, we so often want to deny the parts of ourselves that are shit, you know, that we struggle with. And in fact, it's those bumps and, you know, undigested parts of ourselves that hold this enormous potential for us realizing who we are. And that is particularly with disturbance in the cycle. That is what the cycle is doing. it's bringing us into those places in ourselves so that we can experience them so we can learn to hold ourselves in them and so we can learn to embody more of who we are and that then awakens us into a different experience of ourselves and a different way of

being in the world there's a quote from Wild Power that I would love to read, which really speaks to what you've just been saying, Sharni. Think of wild power as a living presence that's seeking expression through you. It's your calling, and it longs to be embodied and expressed through the singularity of who you are. It's an unnameable, unknowable mystery at the heart of your being. It's on your side. It's your individual way in the ocean of possibility. The bit that got me when you read that, Sophie, is the mystery of who we are and so much of this practice of cycle awareness is about

courting the unknown about following the mystery of our own soul of our soul's evolution and development and you know for example this this what, what Alexandra shared about her pain, the mystery of that pain, little did she know. that she chose to tend to and pay attention to would lead her so deeply into herself that she would birth all this menstruality work that we're now sharing and talking about, you know, would lead to red school, would lead to, you know, all of this. I just think that's such a powerful story. It is. Yeah. Wow. It's lovely hearing it back, Shadi. What's interesting is, you know, and I said this earlier, I didn't have language. I didn't have words for all that. You know, I didn't have, oh, I am going to create Red Skull. What I had was a felt sense that there was something meaningful to my life that was emerging. I had a very sensitive body and I couldn't just override my body and push ahead because

there would be consequences, not just with my menstrual cycle, but my overall health. So I was being pulled in all the time to myself and particularly through the menstrual cycle. And the way I had to heal the pain was by staying close to the cycle. I had no idea that A menstruation was revealing my calling or B that my whole cycle was in cahoots with the manifesting of that. What I was doing was staying as close as I could to it so that I could heal my body. And but you don't need pain to do that. We can all just do that now, you know. But this was the gift of it, that I just, things unfolded.

And if it weren't for the blessing of menstruation, I doubt, you know, that held me. I almost feel sort of slightly cheery as I say this. But if I didn't, if I I haven't because there was no affirmation in the world coming at me about this work none whatsoever virtually none I just had one or two great friends and there was the occasional book but even and those books had one of you know some really some good stuff in them but they still didn't really speak to what they didn't speak to really ultimately to what was unfolding what i was discovering but they were like ballast for me some ballast um but the thing that saved me

was menstruation and the reason i was stopping at menstruation was that was the way i was handling the pain so if i hadn't had the pain i doubt i would have been stopping and none of this would have happened And none of this would have happened. And none of this would have happened. Yeah. And so, you know, you asked the question, you know, you said you wanted to come to this question of, you know, well, what is the calling?

What is it? So I think the calling is many things. It arises out of you connecting, being with, you know, loving yourself. Well, no, loving is too strong a word because I wasn't loving myself all through those years. I was learning to love myself. But it was arising out of me coming into more and more acceptance of, that's a better word, acceptance of or ease with myself. So this is be literally a very powerful vision you have of something that

you feel compelled to do, literally that you are called to do something. So you may be off doing this little job over here and you're quite happy with it. In fact, you're very, doing very, very well. It's all flowing everything. And then one day, you know, you get this lightning bolt, something that comes and goes, oh my God, it's like a whole reorganization of your being. And this is what I have to do. Now that this is quite a sort of melodramatic example of calling. And this happens like that for some people and then there's something that's much quieter and I think for me you know that's how it came for me there was just a felt sense that there was something meaningful at work that was just growing in me and that I could later give words to and then I could look back and I could go oh yeah I

can see it all at work now um so you just find yourself being called to certain things to do certain things you don't know why I think sometimes of our training actually and there are some people that turn up at our training and go I don't know know why I'm here. I just know I have to be here. Yeah. We just look back every time. Yeah, it's funny. And then one day it all makes sense. And then it all, yeah, makes sense.

So, you know, there's that thing of something quietly growing. And then there are some people perhaps who never really can say, oh, you know, this is what I feel called to do in the world, but that they just grow into an implicit sense of knowing what's right, what needs to happen. And so I really want to give the full sort of spectrum, because I know some people don't get the sort of the divine direction that says, you know, go out and do blah, blah. Completely. And I think it's really good to sort of untether this idea that you are, being in your like zone of genius, being in the joy stream of what brings you pleasure. So that may not look like a job. Really more about how you go about life and how you live in the world and how your presence then influences and affects those around you. So I think, yeah, that's why when we talk about wild power, we're both talking about the essence of who you are, the singularity of who you are, and the gifts that you have to give,

how you can bring who you are to serve the world. If you're feeling called to cultivate more intimacy with your cycle so that you can know and live your calling, we invite you to join our menstruality leadership program. We talk about it a lot in this podcast because we're starting soon. We're starting in April. You can join us online or in person, but this is actually going to be the final year that Alexandra and Sharni offer the in-person training. So if that's the one that you're feeling called to join, now is the time to step in. You can find out more at menstrualityleadership.com on the training you'll be held by alexandra and sharni and an incredible community of

psychopathic people to explore how your calling emerged at menarche at your first bleed how the five chambers of menstruation can help you to clarify and embody your calling and how it might transform through the great initiation of menopause. You can find out more and take your seat at menstrualityleadership.com. That's menstrualityleadership.com. Yes, I think that the important thing you've said there, Shani, is about serving the world. It is something that's, it's not about your ego expression. It's bigger than that. It is, it's about your particular genius.

You know, it's about you relishing, you know, what your particular talents are. But it has this quality of being in service to something bigger than you. And this is very self-evident through the process of menopause that, you know, it sort of can be a little bit sort of underground and growing because in your, you know, 20s and 30s, particularly, it's all about you. And it should be. It's about you building a really strong healthy egoic sense of yourself and establishing an identity it's all that's really great healthy stuff and then through your 40s you know that starts to shift a little um and uh sort of deepen and kind of break up and be something more but then menopause is really like the game changer where you really where something quite radical could come in too or it could be a maturation of what

you've already been doing and deepening into where it is not about you but something bigger than you and that's the irritating thing about callings because you know it does take it can take you out of your comfort zone I think we can say it does like if you don't want to have you know if you want to have just a really quiet chilled life I would I mean frankly I'd keep your blinkers on and not look like calling. We would not recommend cycle awareness. No, no, we would not recommend cycle awareness to you. That way trouble lies.

There lies trouble. But if you're listening to this interview, there's probably no turning back for you. So, you know, you're on the ship. I think also there's an ebbing and flowing throughout life that you're pointing to Alexandra with the calling that I personally have felt that I'm on the center of my calling many times and then through different expressions through jobs through community projects through mothering I've I feel like I've been really in the

stream of my calling. And then I can find myself sort of in a way feeling lost again. And I'm thinking of a conversation I had with Kate Codrington, who's one of our MLP graduates. It's going to come up on the podcast in a couple of weeks. And she's talking about how she felt really clear about her calling. And then perimenopause hit and she tells a funny story of how she was at our training stomping through the halls in perimenopause feeling really pissed off about all these menstruators I remember it well and and then now as she's entering into what she calls her second spring, she is in a really mysterious dance now with her calling. And, you know, it's this ever evolving process, isn't it? It's not there's not a three step plan to finding your calling and living it.

Go. You know, it's it's as intricate and complex as life is. Yeah, it is. It's a mystery. And and complex as life is. Yeah. It is. It's a mystery. And it is cyclical as well. It is absolutely cyclical. And that's, of course, grounded in your cycle. But even post-menopause, you're in a different creative arc. So, yes, I think, you know, I love what you say, Sophie, how

at times you felt on the scent of it, and then at times you feel you've lost your way. The losing, the so-called losing of our way isn't really losing our way. Sometimes being connected to ourselves means we need to follow that place of unknownness or that place of mystery or uncertainty that the um our calling takes us into all those places it isn't necessarily that we're you know we're on something and we're tracking it and we're following it and we're developing and growing it. Part of the cyclical nature of our evolution and of our calling is that we get taken into those places, very much like the second half of the cycle, the premenstruum. You get taken into the places where you resist your calling, you want to rebel against your calling you want to put your fingers up to it where you uh doubt yourself where you you dismiss it you know where you don't know

what it is anymore you go through that and that happens to some degree every month and it happens in the sort of creative arc of our life as well which is what you're pointing to Sophie yeah it's cyclical yes and what it's this word evolution and I it's also the world is evolving so I have a calling that's in service of something in the world and And the world is evolving, so I'm in a relationship with that. And that's very self-evident post-menopause because I'm far more open than I ever was. And my own sense of self becomes less and less relevant. It's important.

And, you know, my ego is alive and well, I have to say. But it's less relevant. It's not relevant. It's so interesting. It kicks off and, you know, I can react and so on. But actually, it's not interesting. It's just not relevant. I interesting. It's just not relevant. I just know it's just not relevant.

And that I am, you know, I'm in service of something bigger. And it's really, truly not about me. It's not about me. And so I am in a conversation. So I am being evolved by what the world wants. You know, the world is kind of asking something of me it's not it's not about my agenda I hope I'm making sense here I'm really trying I think it's such a brilliant point you're making Alexandra because it just reminds us that our calling isn't

something that's sort of laid out and set in stone it is a part of life and a part of the evolution of life. And who we are and our calling evolves in response to what's going on in the world around us and what the needs are of the time. It's such a profound point because it reminds us that we're all a part of this evolution that's happening and that we all have a role to play, which I think is something of the power that we tap into at menstruation. Sophie, you've felt this, you know, when you're bleeding is a simultaneous recognition of how special you are, but also that you are part of a bigger orchestration and that, you know, you are required to be nothing more than who you are. And that would bring the most profound contribution to the sort of collective. I mean, have you felt that, Soph?

What I'm seeing right now is a vision, an image of a blanket that's being woven by all of us. And we each have our own thread. And that thread might start off as one color, and then we start to bring in other colors. And all the other threads are being woven along with it. And it just continues to become itself. And the blanket continues to be woven, this sort of tapestry that we're all weaving together.

And our job is to hold our thread and to keep it true to us exactly yes actually that sort of um chimes with the thought i was just holding now having said what i just said before which is that I am holding, even as my, you know, the outer showing of my calling may be changing and evolving, I am, there is a sort of deep core that is my particular imprint, my particular talent, if you like, that i am holding to so it is that thing of holding to the thread that is who you are that you're you know that you the image you used of the thread sophie it is there's something that is not going to change for me that is and that i'm just simply deepening into more and more i i would not want to give it words. I mean, I could, but I don't want to be public about it.

But also it's quite difficult to give it words, easy words. Let's talk about how this all begins. Let's talk about menarche and how through the arc of our lives you know we've been talking a lot about menopause and how the calling changes or this is the final ignition of the calling but let's start at the beginning with menarche when we have our first bleed what is happening like tell us about the process of of the calling and the first bleed so menarche is so we think of menstruality our sort of menstruating years as being the crucible for our calling and um the development our evolution and menarche is that moment. It's that gateway moment, what we refer to as a moment, a birthing, where we are being birthed out of the sort of holding of our family, you know, the womb of our family and being birthed into this path of individuation. We're stepping onto into our cyclical nature and into the cyclical consciousness

and it's like a I love this word ignition this is like a seed that cracks open or a spark that ignites that sort of sets you on the path of your calling on the path of your calling, on the path of your unfolding. So yes, like all birth things, like all initiations, menarche is this, it's the ending of, you know, who you have been, of being a child. It's the letting go of that time in your life and then this stepping into an unknownness which is the very very beginning of your journey into adulthood and your journey into your menstruating years that's where your calling is ignited. Yeah. Yes, and that monarchical young being is unconscious of the magnitude. Yeah. There's no consciousness.

Innocent. Totally, totally innocent. We are totally innocent in monarchy. And our menstruating years are a process of revelation, of growing into and realizing what it is, of moving from an innocence about it to a recognition of it. Yeah, you know, each menstrual month, you get a mini awakening to your calling.

So you get this ignition at Menarche. And then over the years, each cycle, each menstrual month, there's a reigniting, a reawakening of it. So you get this, you're sort of drip fed over the years, if you're tapped into yourself. And we talk about the wombing process of your menstruating years. You're in a wombing process of birthing something, of coming, bringing something to fruition. Yeah, you're in a warming process of birthing something of coming bringing something to fruition yeah you're in this lovely container of this predictable pattern this predictable rhythm and that holds you in this developmental unfolding through your menstruating years it's such a good job we've got something holding us because everything that we're pointing to in this conversation is, look, your calling is a mystery.

Precisely. And that's why we're so precise about menstrual cycle awareness, because it does give you an infrastructure to hold on to. And it gives your left brain something to think about, because otherwise your left brain goes nuts. Well, what is it? Where is it? Where's my calling? What is it colleague what is it now is this it is this it no no could this be it you know and that will just you know screw you up been there yeah i think we've all been there actually yeah because it takes a little while to get in the groove of understanding you know of what your cycle can deliver i want to come back get back into this i just want to take us back to the monarchy process again because there are a couple of examples that i think could be quite interesting for our listeners to hear and also I want to invite you listening to reflect

back to your to your early bleeding years and to your first bleed and just as I'm sharing these examples see if something might spark for you so one example is on on my menstruality leadership program when I was training, Adele, who's become a great friend and she's such a great ally of Red School. She shared her experience of when she had her first bleed and she was 11 and she had the very certain knowing that she was going to revolutionize the British education system. Wow. At 11. that she was going to revolutionize the British education system at 11 and the very cool thing is that she's just published her first book which is called Miss I Don't Give a Shit and it's about revolutionizing the way we approach challenging behavior in the classroom and she's well on her way you know in her 30s to doing this big work to revolutionize the British education system and she knew it then yeah and what's amusing what's interesting is that she became an opera

singer first yes she didn't go and do education yeah she only went to education at the beginning of her 30s basically yes that's so great and then another example which is my example which is more subtle which is when I did my menarche process in our menstruality leadership program you know you guided us through this beautiful process what I saw was a lot of wildlife whales I think and I remembered back to what I loved to do when I had my first period which I think I was 11 or 12 I liked climbing trees you know my my best memory of that time was when we when I won a competition we got to go to a nature park and I got to hold an owl on my arm and it was the most incredibly exciting moment

and what I recognize in that is my love of the natural world and my understanding that being connected to animals, to nature, to natural life is our gateway into the future that we want to create for the coming generations, and that has been true for me through everything I've done. It's true for me here at Red School, it's true for other things that I've done, it's true for the way I live with my family, and it was alive there right then when I felt the wind in my hair when I was when I was at the top of a tree that I climbed or when I was holding that owl and looking at its big black mystical eyes you know so sometimes it's really like boom clear like Adele's experience and sometimes it might be much more subtle like my experience

it's so lovely hearing that oh it's really really yeah beautiful hearing those stories and you know it speaks to um something of the permeability that we experience when we go through menarche it's like our because we're sort of stepping out of that sort of holding of our family on some level, certainly energetically. We are, our skin is more thinned, our metaphorical skin is more thinned. And so we're much more sensitive and permeable at that time. And part of what that does is it allows us to really feel what we're attracted to and drawn to. I think you're more magnetic at that time. I know for me, I remember how I was just so deeply drawn to spiritual life. Actually, it was Christianity to the church at that time. I was so deeply drawn to meaning and the depth,

the subtlety, the intimacy with life. It was what I was just thirsty for it. That was something that woke up in me when my first bleed happened. And, you know, a bit like you, Sophie, I feel like my life has all been around really reclaiming the powers of the subtle, the invisible, the ineffable, the mystery. So yes, you're right, it doesn't necessarily come as like a knowing. And, you know, I only know this looking back, to be honest. it's only with hindsight that I can piece that together but it can be a powerful key can't it for people who are wanting to get closer to this calling to go back to menarche and explore that so so powerful and in fact you know anybody's listening, if you're interested in cycle awareness, and you haven't yet done that work of going back and looking at your menarche, we highly, highly recommend it. In fact such a it's the it's the it sort of sets the

line for your menstruating years what happened at menarche and you know if you had a terrible menarche experience there we we offer these processes to support you to recover something and to integrate what has happened because that sets the line for your menstruating years and will really connect you to something that's very you know singular about you it'll really give you a taste of yourself so yeah it's such a powerful thing to do Sophie I know it's the most powerful part of the menstruality leadership program for a lot of people or a very key part for them it is isn't it yeah it turns out to be so yeah let's um look at this you know alexandra you started to talk about this the process how our calling lands and is held by the container of this rhythm and change of our cycles each month. Could you speak to how each bleed is a kind of mini death and rebirth process and how that works the calling?

Practicing cycle awareness builds trust in yourself and it's that trust in yourself that will open the doors to your genius and calling it is just very cool so just the simple act of doing cycle awareness uh even you know look it can look very ordinary what you're doing but there's some there's a magic there's such a magic at work underneath that that is quietly cultivating this trust in yourself and it'll make sense down the line you know you'll look back and go oh wow oh wow yeah so what happens around menstruation that awakens our calling okay so i'm going to feel into it now sophie so I want us to imagine that we're in the tail end of the cycle and things are starting to fray at this point because this is the we're coming into the darkest hour of the cycle because our energy is at its lowest. The cycle that particular cycle that you're on hormonally is

sort of coming to an end and there's going to be a gear shift and your energy and your reserves will be at their lowest at this point like you've really used everything up so you're actually at your most vulnerable and um you're sort of you know when sorry i'm going to go backwards and forwards a bit here but i will get there which is that i'm just going to say a general statement about menstruation at menstruation you're at your most deeply plugged into yourself and then from menstruation it's like you move out of the cave of yourself out into the world and express yourself in the world and now you're sort of coming to the end of your worldly timing, time, if you like, at the end of the menstrual cycle, the end of the autumn phase of the cycle. It's like you're moving out of that sort of outer consciousness, kind of being in the world and so on.

And you're coming back into yourself. And because we are in such a trance in our culture with being out there doing stuff, that anything that isn't that looks like a problem or an illness. Yeah, problem or an illness. But here you are being pulled away from the world. And there is a moment the mental cycle is so freaking amazing. I really love it because if your mind was in charge, you'd just keep going. But your cycle goes at this, the dying days, it's like it pulls the rug up from underneath you. And suddenly you feel almost like you're in a void space, like the ground has gone from under you. It's like, it's like a shock almost to the system. It can be very, very subtle or it can be quite big for some. It depends on how out there

you've been. So it kind of pulls you away from the world. And then it's just before starting to bleed. And then you bleed. And it's like the bleed then just eases you down. This is if you're able to follow the rhythm of your cycle. You know, you've got some space and time, but it eases you down. This is if you're able to follow the rhythm of your cycle. You know, you've got some space and time, but it eases you, sort of soothes you down and into yourself. And it brings you, menstruation brings you into the deep well of your being. It's pulling you right away from the world. It's almost like it's shutting the world out it's almost like we call it a cocooning process it's like a cocoon comes around you and this is really i'm saying this in great detail because it's very very important for the calling that you are pulled away from the world with all its shoulds and oughts okay and you're being pulled right into yourself there's this cut with

the world and then you go boom it's like you've gone down the rabbit hole step through the door into narnia or something down the rabbit hole you've landed and it's like whoa then something opens a whole new cosmos opens up and you're suddenly sort of discovering yourself again oh wow you're probably discovering how tired you are as Shani discovered last period didn't you Shani you got a rude awakening about a certain amount of shit that you felt you were carrying and you kind of have to kind of work you let go of that it's like declogging yourself and and you drop down more and then you know you get more and more of this inner spaciousness and essentially what menstruation does is it plugs you into yourself

but it it feels like yourself the self that it plugs you into is the sort of cosmic self so it's all you but you feel like you're channeling the universe now I'm doing a very kind of glorified version of menstruation we're probably any all experiencing about five ten percent of this because we're not supported basically but it's available to all of us potentially if we are well supported it can be yes feel safe that's the other really important thing that you feel safe and you have the space and time yeah and so you're now plugged into your cosmic self and and it truly is a bit like that what it was for me and it's like then you almost

get messages or feelings or just knowings that's the calling then is able to be channeled if you like to you and then maybe shani you should take over about that oh no you're on such a roll okay okay yeah yeah i'm enjoying this yeah okay so you're getting like this and the world is all kept at bay you've got this lovely protective skein around you and then of course the cycle moves on and as the cycle moves on day two three and then uh and so on you um start to um uh emerge from menstruation and now this is this is such a dangerous and vulnerable moment because you've been blasted by the cosmic forces shall we say and now you're going back into mundane life with all the usual shittery and stuff and gloriousness as well i shouldn't that's not naughty of me to

say it just like that but you know but all this demands and so on because we've all got you know families children work whatever's that we're responsibilities so but we've had this protected time so we're coming out now the crucial thing here is how to hold the line to what you've got and there's the danger moment is that as you come out of menstruation, if you're not able to go slowly, and who is, you know, because you know, as soon as you start to emerge, there's a pile of washing and 100, you know what I mean, things to do, emails to answer and so on. What can happen is, you can almost just slam the door down on what you've just tasted. You lose something. And I actually want to say it's almost inevitable that you will lose something. It's just, it's almost like it's sort of too much for the, you know, your everyday mind to hold. So you kind of don't get too worked up about it, but you want to hold at least a

modicum of something. And usually what happens is you're emerging from menstruation, there is a moment of extraordinary clarity, clarity, we call it the final emerging from menstruation, there is a moment of extraordinary clarity. We call it the final chamber of menstruation, where you'll often get some very precise instruction. And I remembered it. I can remember it very clearly where I would have this kind of cosmic event. And then I would get something very prosaic to myself, like, Pope, just do something. Do blah, blah., tidy your desk. Or, I mean, honestly, it was things like that. It was just, I got some kind of action thing, bizarrely. I think it might, it will vary from, you know, person to person. But that was my memory. It felt like I was given

something to hold on to. Oh, yes, I'll go talk to that person. So this is what you're starting to describe here, Alexandra, is this is the very beginnings of that integration and evolution process that happens. So you get this, you know, cosmic hit. You come into this sweet alignment with yourself and feel a knowing and a meaning, you know, and sometimes have a vision which is massive. And then as you're coming out of menstruation in that final chamber, that's the beginning of landing that in the world, that simple next step. I mean, it's like your own personal calling coach, your menstrual cycle is

your own personal coach. It's like, right, okay, that vision is wonderful. And here's the next step. And there's this impulse or knowing of what to do. And then through each season that follows through your inner spring, inner summer, inner autumn, that calling and you are being worked and evolved and integrated and a little bit more embodied. So it's such a complete system. It is such an intelligent system that is built into our bodies. Yes, Shani. It is just so intelligent this because each season holds a very particular kind of challenge or task doesn't it that you know exactly if you can meet

it and if you can let yourself receive the powers of that season they will support you to go through the kind of steps that are required to making an idea manifest in the world it's extraordinary i actually do want to add something very very important here about the getting that blast at menstruation um the first thing is don't argue with what comes. And as I like to say, take dictation from the divine. Just write it down. You don't have, do not think about how the bejesus do I,

you know, because that'll kill it all. Do not argue with the divine. Just write it all down in a very private journal and don't tell anybody. Keep it close to you. One day you'll say things but

especially when it's fresh and new so that's because you are going to forget the magnitude of it until you get round to menstruation again because I used to have this every month and I go oh oh oh yes oh god it is real oh yes it is real honestly I used to say these very words to myself. Yeah. And I have to say, it's important, actually, as you mentioned earlier, that you do forget the magnitude of it as you go through the other seasons of your cycle. There's something important about coming out of that deep knowing and inhabiting the world and getting on and doing stuff that is all part of nourishing and enlivening your calling. So whilst you do take dictation from the divine, it's not really so that you can remember things. You don't need to remember. Your mind does not need to hold onto this because your cycle is holding it and you are being held by your cycle so all you need to do is show up each day with cycle awareness and just keep on tracking along yes that's it

that's it that's it that's it there's been this golden thread of trust throughout this conversation. And I think we've come full circle back to it now that in order to know our calling and live our calling and to live a life that feels full of purpose and meaning, we need to trust ourselves and menstrual cycle awareness is an incredibly powerful and practical practice to support us in this daily process of trusting our own felt sense and knowing yes cycle awareness builds trust we can't fabricate trust but cycle awareness builds trust. We can't fabricate trust, but cycle awareness builds trust. It builds this ground. And then that becomes this fertile crucible for us to grow and express ourselves.

Yeah. That's beautiful. you sophie so i was going to ask as a final question you know what can we each do from this conversation to work with our cycle to live and know and embody our calling but i think we might have just answered that one well actually I might answer it slightly different I mean you know we're always going to say practice cycle awareness that's probably our answer to you know everything pretty pretty much every question but I'm going to take it a step further and and really just follow on from this uh what what Alexandra

described so beautifully about the power of menstruation as a place, the power of the inner winter as the place for us to really plug in to ourselves and plug into life. So, you know, the one thing that I would suggest is that you look at your diary and get a sense of when your next bleed is going to be and think about how you can plan to create just a little bit more space for yourself to be able to step away from the world because it all rests on that you being able to let go of responsibility and come into your own inner world and into more presence and connection with yourself, you being able to slow down. So make a plan for how you might be able to do that just a little bit more. It doesn't have to be radical, just any little shift you can make to create more space is going to go a really long way. And maybe you might want to think about who

you can call on to support you in that, you know, maybe you need to ask someone for practical help. You might need to ask somebody to help with your kids, you may want to ask a friend to cook your meals and deliver them to your door. I mean, let's dream big here, you know, let's dare to ask people for the support that we might want or need to allow us to drop. So create a little bit more sanctuary, a little bit more support for yourself so that you can taste a little bit more of this power that's available to each one of us at menstruation that will connect you to yourself and that will plug you in that will give you that anchor of your calling yeah and i would add to what shani has said there which is that take yourself seriously take what comes to you seriously uh you don't have to It'll be way too big. Callings are always way too big.

Or way too nebulous. And way too nebulous. Just take yourself and take it seriously. Don't dismiss it. Whatever comes, don't dismiss it. Thank you for listening today thank you for being part of this podcast community we really want this to be a conversation so if there are any topics that you would love us to speak about or guests that you would love us to interview please send me an email at sophie at redschool.net i'd love to hear from you and as we mentioned throughout the

podcast our menstruality leadership program is coming up we're starting in april we would love to have you with us so you can find out more about the program at menstrualityleadership.com it's the world's first leadership training that's rooted in the power of the menstrual cycle. Okay that is all for this week thanks again for listening and we'll see you next time and until then keep living life according to your own brilliant rhythm.