The Misery Machine - Shane Cheetham: A Family’s Quest For The Truth

Episode Date: January 2, 2022

This week, Yergy and Drewby discuss the case of Shane Cheetham, who grew up across the street from Yergy. In 2018, at the age of 43, Shane committed suicide at the home he shared with his estranged wife, Heather - or did he? Shoddy police work, as well as discrepancies between the police and medical examiners reports gave Shane's family pause, and for the last three years, they have been looking for answers. Check out our friends at: https://www.murdershetold.com http://murderific.com/ Support Our Patreon For More Unreleased Content: https://www.patreon.com/themiserymachine PayPal: https://www.paypal.me/themiserymachine Join Our Facebook Group to Request a Topic: https://t.co/DeSZIIMgXs?amp=1 Instagram: miserymachinepodcast Twitter: misery_podcast Discord: https://discord.gg/kCCzjZM #themiserymachine #podcast #truecrime Source Material: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29869864/ https://www.sunjournal.com/2018/09/13/shane-michael-cheetham/ https://www.facebook.com/MaineColdCaseAlliance https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_that_glitters_is_not_gold#In_popular_culture https://www.facebook.com/groups/MaineHiking https://www.murdershetold.com/episodes/shane-cheetham

Shane Michael Cheatham was born on June 12, 1975, in North Carolina, a parent's Michael and Marion Puzal Cheatham. He was the oldest of three children. His brother, Chris, was born in 1978, and his sister Angela in 1982. The Cheatham family later moved to the coastal town of Harpswell, Maine, and then later to Lisbon in the early 90s, where they lived practically across the street from Yergy in a small suburban neighborhood known as the Gross Development,

which housed many blue-collar families whose parents worked in Bath, Ironworks, which is where Michael Cheatham was employed. So, fun fact, our patron's family built the entire neighborhood. She even has a street named after her. She does. The gross development was a fun place to grow up as a kid in the 90s, with many of the neighborhood kids grouping up to ride bikes, play in the woods, or catch frogs in the creek system that ran through the development, lined with nearly identical ranch-style homes. I spent many summers playing with Shane's sister Angela and our collective group of friends doing many of these activities. including swimming in my pool, camping out in my backyard, and playing manhunt in the woods after dark.

Though I was just a kid when Shane lived in our neighborhood, I vividly remember him tinkering on his black car in his driveway, and the sound of it racing down Andrea's Street. Michael and Marianne worked odd hours at B.I.W. and Groombockers, so oftentimes Shane would look after Chris and Angela while their parents were at work. Shane was described as an avid outdoorsman, even at an early age, who loved camping, hiking, and fishing. In the town of Lisbon's close proximity to both the Andruscoggin and Sabatis rivers made the perfect location for such outdoor activities. Shane was also described as meticulous and a bit of a neat freak. He shared a room with his younger brother, Chris, and it's been noted that you can tell which

side of the room belonged to which brother due to the tidiness. Shane excelled at art and calligraphy and could pretty much draw you anything you asked for. Throughout his life, he enjoyed attending many concerts and had a love for the band Metallica. He was also a talented musician who could be found plucking away at his guitar for hours. I reached out to my friend and former neighbor, Jay, to see if he had any memories of Shane that he'd like to share. Jay lived next door to the Cheatham family for many years, and he told me that, quote, Shane was really quiet and unassuming, the kind of person who doesn't say much, but when he does, it was typically insightful and humorous.

I've always found him to be genuinely nice. I had been really enjoying the pictures he would post on his mountain treks. I remember thinking, I wish I had known about that when I lived in Lisbon. Little did I know, I had a hiking buddy right next door, end quote. Shane attended Lisbon High School, Home of the Greyhounds, and had a small group of friends and was well-liked. He received good grades and was the only one of his siblings to graduate high school. So I want to take a little bit of time to talk about life at Lisbon High School and how this doesn't really reflect poorly upon his siblings. So Lisbon had a really low graduation rate back then.

and even when I got into high school, that was still the case. This is really not indicative to the students themselves, but rather due to the fact that the school system was not entirely supportive and be very quick to give up on you. So if you got into any sort of trouble, struggled with substance abuse, depression, anything like that, they really just didn't have any time for you and preferred you either dropped out, got your GED, or went elsewhere.

It should be mentioned. This was well before no child left behind being passed. Yeah, one of my very best friends growing up, basically had come out in high school. He was pressure to drop out and join Job Corps, because the principal at the time felt that he needed to find his education elsewhere. It was at Lisbon High School that he met his girlfriend Trish Dobson, who was two years as junior. The two welcomed their first child, Ashley, in 1993, while Trish was still attending high school. Ashley was born premature, and for the first six months of her life, she was so tiny that she had to wear clothing made for dolls. The two

later welcomed their daughter Shana, who was named after Shane. They remained in a long-term relationship for 10 years, after which they split in 2005, but remained on good terms. Shane had struggled with being a young man and a father of two, not being able to party and live the life folks normally get to live in their late teens and into their 20s. However, Shane was no deadbeat dad. He worked in construction, installing installation, and made sure to support his family, and was very involved in his daughter's lives. He took his girls hiking specifically to Bradbury Mountain in Pownall and taught them to shoot guns and bows. Shane loved watching pro wrestling with Shana. It would often draw her posters and help her with her art projects. When Shana became a mother

herself at 19 years old, Shane was a devoted grandfather. He referred to his grandson's Hunter and Tanner as his quote, Little Meatballs. Although Shane enjoyed hiking with his family members, he often hiked alone. He enjoyed the peace and solace that the main wilderness provided and took that time to reflect. Some of his favorites were trail-centered around the Appalachian trail system, which he had planned to hike in full with his brother, Chris. A quote that deeply resonated with Shane was Not All Who Wander or Lost, which is the second line in J.R.R. Tolkien's poem, The Riddle of the Strider, originally written for the Fellowship of the Ring,

to which Shane added the phrase, or are they? Shane briefly dated and later met a woman by the name of Kelly. They were married for a short time, divorcing in 2012. In his 40s, Shane was diagnosed with depression and bipolar disorder. He had worried that he was wasting his life, that he couldn't settle down or truly be happy. He was always looking for something, and like many people that struggle with their mental health, never truly could find it. It was that never-ending journey to find that one thing or person to complete oneself, to feel whole. After we finish the story, I will touch on the crisis of men feeling like they need to settle down before there's nobody left.

to settle down with. She never gave up on finding that special someone to complete him and met a woman by the name of Heather. The couple shared a love of whitewater rafting and moved into Heather's trailer home in Rome, Maine, which shared a plot a land with her father's trailer and a barn. Just 10 miles from the state capital of Augusta, Rome was an ideal setting for any lover of the outdoors. Situated in the Belgrade Lakes region of central Maine, it was a great place for hiking, fishing, or just spending time in nature. During the years that the couple were together, their relationship was rife with conflict.

Shane began to lose touch with his family, and when the couple married, the only two members of the Cheatham family that were invited were his mother, Marianne, and his sister Angela. As the relationship progressed, it was alleged by the Cheatham family that Heather became cruel and abusive and would often throw things.

Shane sought solace and phone calls with his sister, which in turn would cause Heather to accuse him of cheating. Although he was struggling with his own mental health, issues, Shane stopped taking his medication and began pawning items to pay for Heather's. Eventually Heather wanted her own space and in June of 2018, Shane moved in with his mother in Windsor with his new dog page and I should put the disclaimer that this is all information that the family alleges and that's the only source we could confirm that with. Around this time, Heather took an extended trip out to Alaska to visit her mother, although it was speculated that she may have

been seeing someone as well. Also during this time, Shane and Trisholk, briefly reconciled, but the relationship didn't last long, and Shane went back to Heather, selling some of his belongings, including guns and bows, to fly her home. However, upon her return, Heather proposed the idea of moving to Alaska for good and asked for a divorce. But when Shane readied the papers, Heather claimed she didn't want it anymore. This whole ordeal sent Shane into an even deeper depression. He felt like a failure. His family urged him to see a doctor, but he said he couldn't afford to do so. Even though Heather and Shane were split, up, Heather's father had agreed to allow Shane to rent the trailer on his property that the couple had

shared. On August 24, 2018, Shane's mother, Marianne, his sister Angela, and her children left on a planned vacation to Disney World in Florida. Meanwhile, Shane agreed to stay behind in Windsor to look after his mother's house and animals. Shane loved animals very much and didn't hesitate to help his mother out. That same weekend, Shana, who was pregnant with her third child, was also moving. so Shane agreed to watch his grandchildren, dropping them back off Monday afternoon. After which, he made the trek over to Heather's house to allegedly confront her over something that had been bothering him.

According to Heather's first account to police, Shane was waiting for her when she got back home and had been drinking and was rolling cigarettes on the hood of his green Subaru Outback, which was adorned with deadhead and dancing bear stickers. Shane accused Heather of poisoning his dog Paige, which Heather denied, claiming that his dog, and her dog both ate from the same food bowl. The two continued to argue, after which Heather retrieved the mail from the mailbox

and proceeded to throw the mail address to Shane at him. Additionally, she threw a mason jar in his direction which shattered on the pavement. It was then that Shane produced his 45-caliber Beretta handgun, placed it to his head, and pulled the trigger. According to Heather, his final words were, quote, there's one more in the chamber, end quote. According to Heather's account, she retrieved his self. phone from his pocket, the only working cell phone within reach, and dialed 911. Heather was hysterical,

and while on the phone with emergency services, Shane struggled to breathe and was losing blood rapidly. She managed to roll him on his side and attempted to stem the bleeding from his wounds with a roll of paper towels which she retrieved from her home. Deputy Jeff Boudro of the Kennebec County Sheriff's Department was the first to arrive on the scene and found Shane face down on the northeast corner of the property with his right cheek on the pavement. His gun was roughly two feet from his legs. Shane was moving at the time and was attempting to touch a bump over his left eyebrow. According to Deputy Boudreau's account,

he retrieved the barretta from the ground and cleared it in order to look for any remaining live rounds. He then secured the weapon in the back of his cruiser. The curious part of this, according to early reports, the magazine was missing, which meant that the gun would have had to have had a single round in the chamber when it was discharged, or someone had to have taken the magazine. Meanwhile, EMS loaded Shane onto a stretcher and rushed him to Maine General Hospital in Augusta to be stabilized. He was later lifelighted to Maine Med in Portland for critical care. Meanwhile, Deputy Roodro interviewed Heather about the events that afternoon.

In addition to the details regarding the shooting, Heather disclosed to the officer that she and Shane were splitting up and that she had plans to move to Alaska. In fact, her plane tickets had already been booked and she was leaving in just a few weeks. She went on to allege that Shane had put a gun to his head multiple times in the past and thought this was just another boy who cried Wolf's scenario. And then she disclosed a series of details that will become very important as our story progresses, that Shane was left-handed and that the gun was in his left hand as he faced the stairs on the front porch. Sergeant Michael Dutel later arrived on the scene and he and Deputy Boudreau attempted to locate the spent shell casing, but were unsuccessful in doing so at the time.

After taking photographs of the scene, Deputy Boudreau utilized a garden hose to clean up Shane's blood that had pooled on the pavement, and then both the deputy and sergeant left the scene. There's an interview between Angela, Shane's sister, and Detective Ryan Brockaway of the main state police, and his explanation to Angela was that police do this all the time. I personally have never heard of police finding a garden hose, taking somebody else's garden hose, and cleaning up blood. I've never heard of them even cleaning up a crime scene like this. I can tell you, my Uncle Raina committed suicide a few years back, and they did not clean up anything other than retrieving his body. My younger cousin had to clean everything. Everyone I've talked to that's had a loved one commit suicide. They've had to do the cleanup.

There's never been police coming over to help out. If it's someone cleaning it up, it's a third party. There are hazmat companies that specifically deal in murders, suicides, unattended deaths, hoarding situations that are made specifically for this purpose. And either, unfortunately, the victim's families have to pay for it. In some cases, some states have a budget for this. But I've never, ever heard of police doing this. Now, could the police have been doing this as an act?

of kindness, sure, but I question the logic behind doing this when you've yet to find the spent shell casing and you've yet to find the magazine to the gun. Meanwhile, Shana was finishing up moving and was in the car with her mother Trish when she received a call on her cell phone from her father, but no text message. Soon after, a phone call came through on the vehicle's Bluetooth from Shane's phone number and Trish answered. On the other line was Heather, who broke the tragic news to them. Trish then rang Marian and Angela in Florida to inform them of what had occurred. The two immediately tried to make arrangements to fly home to Maine, but it was impossible as no commercial flights were available to do so,

and Marianne and Angela were not able to get home until the following day. When Angela attempted to contact Maine Med in Portland for Shane's status, they were unable to give her any information initially, even though Heather had provided his information to EMS. He was listed as a 25-year-old John Doe. After describing Shane to the hospital, noting that he looked very young for a man of 43, and providing them with the description of some of his tattoos, only then were they able to provide information that he was indeed at their facility.

At around 10 o'clock in the evening that night, Trish, Shana, and Ashley gathered at the hospital. Things were obviously very emotional, and according to Shana, Ashley did not want to see her father in that state. They went downstairs to the designated smoking area of the parking lot across the way, and Shane's brother Chris was getting out of a cab. It was then that Heather showed up with her father and immediately confronted the family. An argument ensued, and Heather punched Chris in the face. Around the same time, a grief counselor came down to the parking lot to retrieve the family to say their goodbyes. Security became involved in the altercation, and Heather was not allowed into the hospital until after the Cheatham family had left.

Although Shana was pregnant and there was worry that she could have complications due to the stressing grief of what was taking place, she stayed by Shane's bedside and held her father's hand. Several times during Shane's stay at Maine Med, doctors questioned the family whether he was left or right-handed, which will also become a very important piece to note in our story. Due to Shane having zero brain activity, the decision was made to discontinue life support at 12.55 a.m., and Shane Cheatham succumbed to his injuries. I spoke with Angela with regards to who made the final decision to end life support, and she informed me that she was unsure who authorized it,

but since Heather was still legally his next of kin, it was thought that it was her. Angela and Marion arrived in Maine the next morning, but unfortunately it was too late to say goodbye to Shane. I should note that I did reach out to Heather to talk with her about Shane, and she was very kind to us and said that she asked not to be quoted at all in our publications, but did want to say that she respectfully declines, interviewed on the subject because her husband was a private man and that he wouldn't appreciate

all of the fuss and I completely respect her wishes on that. But if anyone's wondering why there hasn't been anything that we've quoted through her, that is the reason why. So as Heather was still Shane's legal spouse, she was in charge of his death care arrangements and she quickly had his body sent to a crematorium. When the Cheatham family contacted her to discusses. her intentions with Shane's ashes. She allegedly informed them of the facility that had conducted the cremation, and if they wanted his ashes, they could pay for them and pick them up. It should also be noted that after Shane's death, Heather filed a restraining order against

five members of the Cheatham family. Although when it came time to go to court, Heather had already taken off to Alaska, and the cases were dismissed. So something kind of struck me a little bit as odd about the timeline for the cremation So I did a little bit of digging myself, and I have some of my own personal knowledge that goes along with it. And I also reached out to a patron, so we'll get to that in a second. But I helped take care of my grandmother's death care arrangements. And after she had passed away in hospice, even though she was just getting a direct cremation and we were doing a private ceremony,

by law, they told us that she had to be held at the funeral home for two whole days. Now I did some online research, and it does say a 48-hour hold before any disposal in the state of Maine. Our patron Morgan said that in her state of Pennsylvania, it's three days. But then another source I had found online for Maine stated that it can be up to 24 hours, but Maine's not that strict. So in case folks are wondering why something quickly happened like that, that could be why. It really comes down to who's enforcing it or who wants to. to enforce it, I guess you could say. Maine has some pretty liberal death care laws.

Like you can handle everything, you know, with proper permits at home yourself if you want to. Medical examiner Michael Ng conducted a visual examination of shame post-mortem, but no formal autopsy was done. And these are his findings. So this is pertaining to Shane's wounds. One is on the right temple and measures 4.5 by 2.3 centimeters. It is one centimeter above the superior edge of the right ear and 6.5 centimeters anterior to it. It has a sharp angler form edge, 3 o'clock to 6 o'clock, and a rounded contour from 6 o'clock to 10 o'clock.

So the abrasion marks are noted at the 6 o'clock and 10 o'clock edge, consistent with a contact wounds. The second is above the left eye on the eyebrow 3.5 centimeters left of the midline. It is approximately circular with a 1.5 centimeter diameter. Tissue edges appear to be pushed outward and there is some brain tissue at the wound edge. So why this is important is in Detective Boudreau's report, he indicated that the entry wound for the gunshot was above the left eyebrow because Shane was left handed and Heather had confirmed that Shane was holding the gun in the left hand. However, the medical examiner's report directly conflicts with this. So due to the fact that Shane was left-handed, it was possible, yet extremely unlikely that he could have or would have shot himself in his right temple using his left hand with a 45-caliber handgun. Furthermore, suicides via self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head are almost exclusively executed via the victim's dominant hands.

However, the medical examiners are finding here that he had to have used him. his right hands. And according to Detective Ryan Brockaway with his meeting with Angela, he claimed to have asked the, in his own words, the medical people at the medical examiner's office. And he asked them how often do they see this? What he said was they see this a fair amount. Now, what a fair amount is, I don't know, and it sounds like he didn't dig deep into that either. I tried to look into statistics of people who commit suicide with their non-dominant hand in the case of suicide using a pistol. However, I could not find anything concrete on that. Yeah, the only statistics are really out there are manners of suicide and then gunshot wound by gender. That's all there

really is. So although difficult, try to put yourself in his shoes for a moment. Which hand would you use? what hand would you normally grab any item with really? So according to an article published in the National Library of Medicine, quote, if it is found that fatal injuries were inflicted by the non-dominant hand, this gives rise to doubt that the manner of death is suicide, end quote. All of this information conflicted with Heather's account of the day's events, as well as Deputy Budro's findings as we discussed earlier. Neither Shane nor Heather or tested for gunshot residue,

and due to the fact that Shane had already, already been cremated, a formal autopsy could not be conducted. And you might be wondering why they don't test for gunshot residue. Well, this is explained later when we get into Angela's meeting with Detective Brockaway, which happened quite recently. I believe it was last month by the time this recording comes out. So the Cheatham family had questions, and Angela thought that perhaps the police were not aware of these major discrepancies.

So like any family member with concerns regarding their loved ones case, she contacted Deputy Boudreau, and things did not go well. The deputy was insistent that his findings were correct due to his knowledge of ballistics and suggested that the medical examiner may have made some sort of mistake. Unsatisfied with this response, and rightfully so, Angela contacted the deputy superior, Sergeant Kim Mills, and he looked into the case further. However, this turned into another dead end. So this is directly from Sergeant Mills report. On May 8, 2019, I called the medical examiner's office and spoke with investigator Taylor Slimmer. She confirmed that the gunshot wound to Shane

entered the right side of his head and exited on the left. She stated there was clear evidence to support this. We also discussed that according to the family, Shane was left-handed. Taylor informed me that a majority of suicides she has investigated, involving a firearm or committed by using their dominant hand, she has seen some where the offhand is used. I thanked Taylor for her time and informed her that I sent the Cheatham report to Sergeant Trembly from the main.

state police major crimes unit to review. After discussing this case with the medical examiner's office and the main state police, this case will remain closed and be categorized as a suicide based on the facts, circumstances given at the scene, and the evidence derived from the medical examiner's office. If new information develops, the case will be reopened and assigned to a detective for further investigation, end quote. Rightfully unsatisfied, Angela decided to keep digging and sought out copies of the police reports from the Kennebec County Sheriff's Office. After getting the runaround and hitting multiple dead ends, she had a chance meeting with a man by the name of Mark Babitz, who was a private detective.

Through Mark, she was able to retrieve copies of the police reports. Although Deputy Boudreau initially offered Angela copies of Shane's crime scene photos, when she asked for them, she was immediately turned down. Angela also made contact with the folks at the Maine Cold Case Alliance, which is an organization that supports families of unsolved homicides, missing persons, and questionable deaths in the state of Maine. With their support, Angela sent her evidence to Colonel John Cody, the commanding officer of the Maine State Police. Colonel Cody was quick to respond and Angela received a phone call from Maine State Police Detective Ryan Brockaway the following day. So as we talked about earlier, recently, it was in November, Angela and Shane's daughter, Shana, got a chance to sit down with Detective Brockaway,

regarding some of his findings. He felt very strongly that based on his interactions with Heather that she was being truthful and that Shane's death was in fact a suicide. The detective did agree with the medical examiner's findings that the fatal gunshot wound was indeed inflicted on the right and even though Shane was left-handed, that the state medical examiner's office does see self-inflicted gunshot wounds to the head using the non-dominant hand with some frequency. He did agree that Deputy Boudreau was not qualified to make the assessment.

assessment regarding the entry and exit wounds, and that he should not have included the writing in his official report. With regards to the lack of an official autopsy, he stated that if evidence points to suicide, and they have good reason to believe that was what had taken place based on evidence, then a full autopsy is not completed. Toxicology was not conducted, as even though it's possible Shane could have been drinking, it would not have changed the manner of death. Detective Brockaway also stated that in Maine, gunshot residue tests are not completed, as there are far too many false positives, and they are not admissible in court. I don't know if that's just a main thing, or if that's the case in other states. This is the first time I've heard of this. Two years later, the spent shell

casing was also recovered from the scene. It had been buried several inches into the ground and was a match for the 45 caliber Beretta found at the scene. In his interviews with Heather, new information was discovered regarding the timeline of events that occurred that day. According to Detective Brockaway, Heather had come home and spent some time on the couch petting her dogs and had planned to take them for a walk to the pond. She discovered the 45 Beretta on a stand near the door and had picked it up to move it to a safer place and in doing so dropped it. Now you'll recall that this is a different account compared to earlier where she claimed that she came home to find Shane rolling cigarettes and drinking on top of the Subaru outback and that's where the fight started. So this is a little bit

different. In Detective Brockaway's interviews with Heather, new information was discovered regarding the timeline of events that occurred that day. According to Detective Brockaway, Heather had come home and spent some time on the couch petting her dogs and had planned to take them for a walk to the pond. She discovered the Beretta on a stand near the door and picked it up to move it to a safer place, and in doing so, dropped it. Shane then picked up the gun and that's where the argument began. According to Heather, while they were arguing outside, she asked Shane to put the gun down, and at that time he dropped the magazine from the gun, then placed the gun to his head and said his last words, there's one more in the chamber.

Heather kicked the magazine out of the way while trying to render aid whilst on the phone with emergency services, and it was recovered at the scene. Brockaway also noted that over the years, Heather had begun to mix up and forget some of the details of that day due to her memory being skewed by time past and the fact that it was a traumatic event. So on top of that, one thing that Detective Brockaway noted in the interview with Angela and Shana is that one possible reason that Heather might have thought that Shane had used his left hand is, you know, a mirror image. So let's just say I'm standing in front of Druby. I pick up a gun with my right hand, place it to my head. If Drewby's looking at me,

me, that's going to be his left. So it's thought that it's possible that Heather might have thought it was his left hand due to the traumatic event and may have just mistaken it. He also noted over the course of his investigation that two welfare checks had been called in regarding Shane in the past, one in April and one in July of 2018. And at least one of these took place after he had been drinking and sent messages to his daughter and to Heather with suicidal undertones. So where does this case stand today? We're not entirely sure if authorities are going to pursue any further investigation, but I think that we can collectively say that there isn't any positive outcome for this. If there was indeed foul play involved, all proof of that's been

lost. If this was indeed a tragic suicide, then a young woman witnessed a truly traumatic event playing out before her eyes, and an entire family is left with questions that cannot be fully answered due to errors in police work early on in the investigation. Any way you slice this, this is an extremely sad and tragic loss of life. This is the importance of proper police work, not being sloppy, not thinking that you know more than a medical examiner. Because if proper police work had been done here, we may not even be covering this case right now. The family wouldn't be having questions. But now because things weren't done right from the start, the family will never get 100%

concrete answers. Because quite honestly, you could come up with any sort of angle for this, and there isn't really any evidence right now to support the fact that it's wrong. It really comes down to how do you want to present this evidence? Because depending on how you present the evidence, it can look different ways. You can present it in a way that could look like foul play, or you can present it in a way that looks like suicide. If I was forced to give an opinion, I feel like Heather is innocent, and I feel like there was really shoddy police work being done here. On top of that, just a lot of information that they had at the time that they did not present to the family, like the whereabouts of the magazine, they had the magazine.

Yeah, what is up with that? So for a while, it wasn't until Angela and Shane is meeting with Detective Brockway. We were informed that the magazine was not found, and that's a big deal. Or why they didn't know about the bullet. Or the shell casing? Yeah. Another thing that was emitted from the police report is when they found the burretto, was the gun racked open or not? That's a really important thing to note because if they find the gun racked open, that means it was shot with the last bullet in there.

And if the slide was closed, that could mean the gun was manipulated. Now, in Deputy Boudreau's report, he said that he grabbed the pistol and cleared it but did not mention if there was a live round in it. So I'll quote it. I grabbed the pistol and cleared it. There was no magazine in the gun and there was no shell casing in the firearm, end quote. Maybe he meant to say there's no live bullet. I don't know. But for my understanding and please light me up if I'm wrong,

a shell casing does not stay in a pistol after you fire it. No, it does not. It flies out. We know that from doing target shooting ourselves. I mean, maybe I'm stupid after shooting guns most of my life, but I'd never recall that being a thing. But anyway, maybe he, you know, misspoke, mistying. I don't know.

Proof read yourself, sir. But at the end of the day, like, this isn't even one of the worst things. It's challenging the medical examiner on where the entry and exit wounds are. And I don't claim to know more than a medical examiner. We consulted some people. We consulted a former mortician, and we consulted a clinical pharmacist that has directly worked on gunshot wound victims before. Both of them agreed with the medical examiner's report that the both of them. it went right to left. It was clearly shot by Shane using his right hand. Now there's obviously

speculation on why someone would use their right hand. And my thought process behind it was that with the magazine out, Shane may have mistakenly thought that there wasn't one in the chamber. I know he said that, but he may not have actually thought that. Do I know that for sure? No, but it's something that I wonder if he really intended to shoot himself in the head at that point or if he was just dry firing it to get an emotional response from Heather. There's other things that I want to bring up from Angela and Shana's talk with Detective Brockaway. Now, I'm not highlighting these to place guilt on any one person, but there were just things that I noted that sound counter to what I've heard through,

my life. So the first thing that Detective Brockaway said when he was interviewing Heather is that someone who is truthful tries to explain further when you ask them a question and a liar would just answer yes or no. This is counter to what I've heard, even FBI profilers say, about people who are lying, that if people are lying, especially if you give them awkward pauses after you ask them a question. They'll keep talking and talking as if they're trying to dig themselves out of a hole. They won't just answer yes or no. It's usually a lie on top of a lie to cover up the last lie. Exactly. So I've never heard this before. And I'm not trying to question Detective Brockaway's experience. It's just curious. Yeah. So and the next thing that he said was it's expected that a person's story will change if interviewed more than once. And again, I'm paraphrasing.

what he said, but this is also counter to what I've heard. Now, of course, would it change in slight ways maybe? Sure, but that's something I've heard is a major red flag when doing investigations when people's stories change the second time you interview them. And correct me if I'm wrong, I thought in murder cases, they interview the prime suspects more than once for that reason. So I don't know. If you, the listener, has heard anything that backs up what Detective Brockaway has claimed. I would really love to hear from you. I love getting different perspective on things like this, especially when it runs counter to things I've heard my whole life. Again, I'm not a, I'm not a detective, I'm not an LEO or anything like that. I'd also like to say that despite

our criticisms, I have to commend Detective Brockaway for even taking this case on because there's so many cases in the state of Maine that police won't reopen. won't take a look at, won't devote any resources to, and he actually took the time to look into this case and do an investigation on it. I hope that more people in Maine police do that with many of the cold cases and missing person cases that take place in our state. Another thing that was said in the interview was by Angela, and I really feel for her because she said that Shane told her. her once and I'm paraphrasing that when I finally do it, meaning kill himself, he'll do it in a way that screws everyone over. And mention that that's basically what had just happened. I just think this is so entirely tragic. I can understand somebody wanting to take their life in a way that causes

maximum impact on everyone's life. I understand that feeling, but this is what it looks like. So if you've ever had thoughts like this and you've thought, I want to do it in a way that screws everyone over, that makes people feel the full brunt of pain from my death. This is what it looks like. This is 100% what it looks like. It is a result that equates to lives being permanently ruined, the family not having answers, and they will go to their graves feeling this way, never knowing, always wondering, what if. And Heather, I mean, to witness your husband kill himself in front of you.

And yes, I know they were splitting up, but still to watch him kill himself in front of you. And then to have the question of if you're a murderer or not, that's something that just doesn't go away. And if she's innocent, which I personally feel she is, you just don't deserve that. you've had to witness a traumatic event you're essentially a victim in this too and you have to carry that word murderer on you for a long time potentially forever especially if you're living in a small town in Maine

I can't even imagine what that feels like so a year after Shane's death the decision was made to honor his wishes to sprinkle his ashes on the top of Avery Peak in Stratt in Maine due to a medical condition Angela was enabled to make the journey to the peak her side So she reached out to the main hiking Facebook group for assistance, and some very good people answered that call.

An excerpt from Angela's post to main hiking reads, quote, well, Shane, you made it. It was emotional seeing your ashes fluttering away, but at the same time it was peaceful and serene. So quiet and beautiful on the mountain. I can see exactly why you wanted to be there. And apparently you made it very clear which peak you wanted to be at. Your hiking buddies weren't sure which peak you'd prefer, so they intended to leave a little at both. Then at the first peak, Gale Force winds picked up and clouds out of nowhere came. It began to rain slightly, and as your hiking friend looked at the West Peak, it was the only spot the sun was shining.

She said she felt like you were trying to tell her something, so she packed you back up after a few photos and headed over to the West Peak. After being released, she read your favorite short poem, All That's Gold does not glitter. It's hard to hear over the wind and she got emotional reading it, but it was a great way to end things. I think in some small ways this tripped helped her as it also helped you, end quote. If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide or self-harm, please know that there are services and resources out there for you. And as always, we're here for you. Our DMs are open if you ever need a safe person to talk to any time of day.

And we're not just saying that. We absolutely 100% mean that suicide prevention and mental health awareness is a cause that we're very passionate about. and I feel doesn't get enough attention or is taken very seriously. And in the case of men committing suicide, I feel as if the crisis of men feeling like they need to settle. I feel like there's a lot that plays into that. And time and time again, I've seen in my life men who feel like their life is over,

or it is past the point where they can find success, especially in the realm of companionship, and so that they need to settle. There is this pervasive trend, and no matter how you explain it to somebody, they just can't seem to let it go if they're a man. And that is that eventually they'll get to a point to an age, that nobody wants them anymore,

and that they will be alone forever if they don't settle down. So they have to settle down with somebody who's okay or even with somebody who's terrible, but it's better than being alone to them. And if that is a foreign concept to you, if not having companionship options are a foreign concept to you, please try to understand that to men, especially since they were young, there is this idea that's given to you that there are only so many fish in the sea that no one's going to want you, that you're not deserving of much, and you should feel thankful if somebody wants to marry you. The amount of men I've known that feel this way is staggering.

The idea of settling down with someone abusive is just a better option than internal solitude. This doesn't fix anything. This doesn't make them happy. They feel like failures. They always wonder what if. that makes the temptation of self-harm and suicide grow louder and louder. And even if it doesn't come out in this suicidal desire, there's this feeling of unrest, there's this feeling of discontent, there's this feeling of being incomplete.

Even if you're not an abusive relationship, something feels missing. And I know so many people where that something is missing, but they don't know what to do because they don't want to step out of what they know. Stepping into something unknown and trying to find that something is a scary prospect, because there's no guarantee you're going to find it. But this is what causes so many people to settle, and then further they might give into an addiction. I see so many people who are alcoholics and things of that nature

or have some sort of addiction one way or another to cope with this fact that deep down they feel their life is wasted. that their life is ruined. And I see so many men that just keep parroting happy, happy wife, happy life, instead of happy spouse, happy house, thinking that their partners wants and needs, even if they're not reasonable, far outweigh their own, and that they should sacrifice everything for their partner. And if you think that that is a rare thing in a man,

I mean, I'm sure there's plenty of men who are very selfish, very abusive. Yes, absolutely. No question about that. But what you don't see is the tendency in men to sacrifice everything they have because they feel they're supposed to. When you're taught chivalry as a child or as a teenager, when you're taught to do all these things to make a woman happy because she'll go find someone else, you feel as you have to make the ultimate sacrifice because you know that a woman will go and find whoever else that she can get

because there's a line of people around the block waiting for her to be single whereas you have no one. I'm not stating this as truth or not. I'm stating as the impression that is put upon young men growing up and that sticks with you. And if you think I'm wrong, men, how many? many other men do you know in situations like that? Why do I go on this, this rant right here?

Because I feel, and in my experience, and I know this is anecdotal evidence, I fully admit that, but in my experience in life, the vast majority of men that were struggling with mental health issues or being unhappy with their life, wanting to end it all, there's things that stemmed from, feeling like they didn't pursue what they wanted in life or they settled. And now that they've settled, something just feels wrong. And sometimes they don't always have the language for it. But eventually it comes to some sort of unrest. And either you become dead inside or you want to end at all.

So I'm going to play devil's advocate for just a second here on that. I don't want to minimize the fact that a lot of women go through this to specifically at a younger age. Of course they do. pressured to want to settle down because you have an expiration date where you're going to start to look too old or not be able to have children and then nobody is going to want you anymore. That's totally valid. But I also want to highlight that there's this pervasive thought process that men are in no short supply. It's really aggravating that we have to add that caveat.

Because when we talk about women being abused, do I have to stop and be like, now just so you know, there's men that get abused as well. there's men that suffer from X, Y, and Z as well. No, you don't. But when you talk about men's issues, you now have to phrase it in such a perfect way or else somebody will come along and claim you're a misogynist. And this is exactly why it is hard for men to speak up about their issues. There's good men that don't want to talk about it because they don't want to look like they're misogynist. Or, you know, they believe, well, women have issues that are a lot worse than me. And whether, they're worse than you or not, it doesn't mean that your issues are not valid. So we need to

do away with this stigma that talking about men's issues makes you misogynist. You can be for both. You can 100% be for both. I just, and I know we're going to get some wacky comment about how this whole topic is misogynist. And you're part of the problem. You are. You're absolutely part of the problem. And if this keeps up, we're going to have a lot more people who killed themselves because you insist on perpetuating this narrative. That bloods on your hands, too. And I'm sure that makes you laugh, and I'm sure you're going to have something really awful to say about that, but I'm sick of seeing people kill themselves. I'm so sick of it. And if you think we're being unfair and we haven't covered a woman committing suicide in a while, well, we can obviously

cover one of those two, and there's plenty of different unique issues as to why women commit suicide. But the fact that this is a man committing suicide, of course, we're going to talk about men's issues. So please hit us with how we're misogynist after this. Okay, I'm done. So I would like to give a very special thanks to Shane's sister Angela Freeman for entrusting us with Shane's story and for providing us the information to bring this story to you. She gave us so much good information. She really did. And thank you so much, Angela, for being very transparent and very forthcoming with everything you've had. The Detective Brockaway interview was quite recent, and she got it over to us as soon as she had it recorded. And I very much appreciate that. It was very helpful.

Thank you to the Maine Cold Case Alliance for their supportive families of unsolved homicides, missing persons and questionable deaths in the state of Maine. Make sure to check them out on Facebook, which will have linked in the description. and thank you to Kristen Ceevy of Murder She Told for being the first podcast to shed a light on Shane's case. Thank you, Kristen. Your research was so helpful. Also, please check out our friend Burns podcast Murderific, which will be covering Shane's story in the new year,

and links to both shows will be available in our show notes. Also, something else is pretty tragic. Whenever we cover suicides, the episodes just don't do well. Everybody wants to hear about kids dying. When we do with suicide, people don't even watch it. people just tune out. I get that it isn't glamorous. I get it's not interesting. I get there's not a lot of intrigue, but this is a huge problem in our society, and I just wish people cared more.

Suicides are not attractive episodes in true crime. I know true crime is inherently exploitive, but if you're going to listen to it, I wish more people would try to understand the full spectrum of tragic cases that take place in true crime. If you appreciate this episode, The best thing that you can do for us is to hit like and subscribe and watch this video towards the end so it boosts our YouTube retention rate. This is the biggest factor that YouTube looks towards when promoting channels. If you're on the other platforms, you can leave us a five-star written review on some of those platforms. Those go a long way to help us on the podcast. We also have a very wonderful group of people that are going that extra step to support us on Patreon. So I'll put their names up there right now. As far as new Patreon, I want to say welcome Michelle. Welcome Michelle. And thank you to Levi Kami and Chaka, our highest tier of Patreon supporters. There's our lovely pictures right now.

And if you two want to support us on Patreon, patreon. Patreon.com slash the misery machine. You get access to all of our secret episodes. You get access to our secret discord and Snapchat groups, and you may even get a postcard. Haunted one. Patreon.com slash the misery machine. But until next week, we love you. We love you.

Bye. Bye.