The Misery Machine - The Case of Kirby Simone Noden

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Starting point is 00:00:59 Growing up in this town, Kirby Simone Nodin might have had a happy life, but sadly, it didn't stay that way. Not much is known about Kirby's early life. She was born on October 27, 1984 to mother Anita Nodin and was described as a lovely young girl, quiet, artistic, and fun to be around. According to her friend Rebecca Tilford, you could go to Kirby and tell her anything, and she wouldn't judge. She wouldn't tell anybody. I was close friends with her. Yeah, I thought the world of her. One of Kirby's closest childhood friends was Dean Lowe, a boy described as funny, outgoing in the class clown. Dean's father and Kirby's mother were also close friends, so it was no surprise the two grew up side by side.

Starting point is 00:01:47 It helped that they went to the same school and were around the same age as well. Dean was taken into foster care when he was just a few months old. Despite that, he often came across as confident and wild, the kind of kid who always drew attention. Unlike Kirby, who was quiet and gentle, Dean had a reckless nature about him, and maybe this is what drew her to him. They started dating at just 14, and at that age, the love between them seemed mutual. Close friends and family could see how much they cared for each other, and to Kirby, Dean was everything. She even seemed to go as far as idolizing him. Still, not everyone saw their bond in the same light.

Starting point is 00:02:29 mutual friend Rebecca, who was also Dean's cousin, recalled Kirby was nothing like Dean. Kirby was just too innocent and kind and lovely. Rebecca also remembered an unsettling childhood memory when Dean took her to a swimming pool and told her to hold her breath underwater for as long as she could. She finally tried to come up for air. Dean pushed her back down and tried to hold her there. Right around the time they first started dating, Dean began showing signs of violent behavior. He started experimenting with drugs and his temper became unpredictable.

Starting point is 00:03:03 Rebecca recalled an instance where Dean's father, Roger, called her asking if his son could stay at her house for a few days. Dean had reportedly gotten into violent fights in his neighborhood, one of which ended with him biting someone's nose off. From 14 to 20, Kirby's relationship with Dean was pretty on and off. After she turned 20, things finally ended between them and Kirby eventually started seeing. someone else. With Kirby out of his life, Dean's behavior became even more volatile. When he was 25, a family member told him about her own relationship and how her partner had cheated on her. Dean reportedly got infuriated at this, stormed to the man's house and stabbed him with a screwdriver. When his victim collapsed unconscious, Dean dropped a television on his head. Maybe in Dean's mind,

Starting point is 00:03:53 it felt like a way to justify violence to make it seem like it had a purpose. But to everyone else, it was just another sign of how dangerous he had become. Because of these violent outbursts, Dean's reputation in the family grew darker, with Rebecca even describing him as the nightmare of the family. During those five years apart, Kirby had a child with another partner, but their relationship eventually fell apart. By 2010, she and Dean found their way back to each other, calling themselves soulmates. This time, they seemed extremely invested in one another. Despite their personal struggles, they shared the feeling that it was them against the world.

Starting point is 00:04:32 Long after reuniting, they had a child together. In fact, they had two children. But by then, Dean's drug use had spiraled out of control. His heavy dependence on heroin drew the attention of social services, and eventually their children were taken from their custody. Lost devastated Kirby. At first, she was worried about Dean's heroin use and how it was affecting their lives, but over time, she fell into this exact same addiction.

Starting point is 00:04:57 Friends and family strongly believe that Dean's influence pulled Kirby into the same destructive path that he was already on, but Kirby trusted Dean. She believed he would protect her no matter where they went, and she was willing to leave everything behind to be with him, even if it meant living a hard, unstable life fueled by drugs. She did just that. In 2011, the couple had adopted a nomadic lifestyle going from place to place before eventually moving about 250 miles. away to Devin. Rebecca couldn't recall any particular reason why they chose that area. According to her, most of Dean's close family had already passed away and he simply wanted to get away from everything. Herbie's family, on the other hand, desperately tried to talk her out of the relationship. They wanted to stay in touch and keep her close, but Dean would not allow it. He

Starting point is 00:05:47 manipulated her, forcing her to choose between him and her family. Because Kirby loved Dean so much. She chose him. Rebecca managed to stay in touch with Kirby, even as her life with Dean became more unstable, she later recalled. It was the most consistent way of being able to keep in contact with them. They didn't have mobile phones for very long. They never really had a fixed address. It was just sofas and doorways and wherever they were. I do believe that Kirby could have gone home whenever she wanted, but Kirby didn't want to leave Dean. They seemed quite happy with their little life that they had going on there. Now, there were really three people. people in this relationship. There's Dean, Kirby, and drugs. At this point, drugs have become a daily

Starting point is 00:06:31 part of their lives as essential to them as food and water. Kirby had texted Rebecca several times saying she wanted to get clean, but it was never easy for her. Each time she tried, Dean would drag her back into it. I could continue to check in on them whenever she could, but deep down, she knew there wasn't much she could do to change the direction that their lives were heading in. In 2012, the couple's sought help from a charity. For a while, it seemed to work as they managed to stay clean. But eventually they relapsed, falling back into their same destructive cycles. By 2013, the couple had moved to Lawston Cornwall, sometimes sleeping on the streets and

Starting point is 00:07:08 other times staying in local social housing. Ellie Garrett Hart, a former neighbor, remembered seeing Kirby often. She spoke kindly of her, describing her as very bubbly, very northern, big smile, kindhearted. Ellie admitted she never really understood why Kirby was with Dean. To her, he always seemed distant and detached. Over time, Ellie and Kirby grew close and Kirby confided in her that she wanted to turn her life around. She dreamt of getting her children back, earning some money, and finally getting sober. But Dean wouldn't let her go.

Starting point is 00:07:44 He manipulated and sabotaged every attempt Kirby made to rebuild her life. Within just three weeks of her moving into the apartment, Ellie could hear sounds of violence from upstairs with Dean often shouting and Kirby screaming and crying. According to Ellie, one thing that Dean often shouted at Kirby was, I will fucking end you. Ellie even went upstairs to confront Dean a few times, but it made no difference. He didn't seem to care who heard or what anyone thought. His behavior only worsened. In one instance, the violence even found its way into Ellie's apartment.

Starting point is 00:08:21 After this, Kirby stopped speaking to Ellie. According to Ellie, this was Dean's doing, as he was afraid that if Kirby kept talking to her, she might start to see a way out of the relationship. And if that happened, he'd have no one left to control or take his anger out on. Not long after, Ellie noticed water dripping down her wall. She suspected that Dean had deliberately left the taps running upstairs, seemingly to try to drive her out. The plan worked. The constant dripping turned into a...

Starting point is 00:08:51 foul smell as mold began to spread and Ellie had finally had enough. She called her property manager, moved out, and never heard from the couple again. Looking back, Ellie said that she regrets not pressing the police harder or doing more to help Kirby. Meanwhile, the couple had also grown distant from Rebecca. It would often go weeks without speaking to anyone from their old lives. Kirby had become completely isolated from her family. Introducing Taco Bell's new jalapino-citrus salsa with bright citrus, real red jalapinos, guahillo chilis. Usually, you add sauce to the food, but when the sauce is this good, the food is just there to get the sauce to your mouth. That rolled cassidia, not a rolled cassidia anymore. Now it's a sauce shovel. Taco Bell's jalapeno citrus

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Starting point is 00:10:10 Investment management and advisory services provided by Wealthfront Advisors LLC and SEC registered investment advisor. Investing involves risk to principle regardless of the strategy used. Task performance does not guarantee future results. By 2015, the couple moved once again, this time settling into a single bed flat in Mara Zion, a coastal town in Cornwall. Not long after, Rebecca began receiving strange and alarming messages from Dean. One day, he texted her claiming he had a video showing someone breaking in during the night and attacking them. He even sent her a photo of his face swollen and bruised. Dean told Rebecca that it was probably Kirby who attacked him, but added that she had been mind-controlled by someone into doing.

Starting point is 00:10:48 it. In truth, this was just a baseless accusation. Rebecca didn't think much of it at the time. She brushed it off, assuming it was just the drugs talking. November of 2016, Kirby stopped replying to Rebecca's messages altogether. It wasn't unusual for the couple to go quiet for a few weeks, but this was different. Kirby had never gone completely silent before. At first, Rebecca thought maybe they had lost their accommodations again, but as weeks turned into months with no response, she started to feel that something wasn't right. Rebecca kept checking Kirby's social media, hoping to see her online, but she never was.

Starting point is 00:11:26 Kirby had simply vanished. After three months of silence in January of 2017, Dean suddenly reached out in a way that would leave Rebecca stunned. He texted her saying, I'm here because if you want to vent at me, call me on this number. Rebecca was at work when the message came through. Try calling the number later, but by then it was completely dead.

Starting point is 00:11:46 Perhaps Dean was feeling the weight, of guilt for a crime he had already committed around that time, a crime so horrific that would later shock everyone who knew them. Sports would eventually reveal that in January of 2017, Dean had killed the girl who loved him more than anyone else in the world and in one of the most gruesome ways imaginable. Back then, no one suspected a thing at all. Maybe all the isolation, the way that Dean had cut Kirby off from everyone else,

Starting point is 00:12:15 wasn't just about control or paranoia. Perhaps it was part of his drug-induced fantasy, one he had been building towards for years. For a while, it worked as Dean got away with it for a few months. Meanwhile, Kirby's friends and family grew increasingly worried. They had no idea where she went to. Never anyone tried to reach out to Dean, he would deflect and mislead them,

Starting point is 00:12:39 claiming that Kirby had left him for another man. May 17, 2017, at around 10 p.m., Dean sent messages to Rebecca and some other relatives that were far more disturbing than anything he had sent before. The message read in part, I had a blackout hazy argument, woke up with a body on the floor, put body in the bin down the road. I remember cutting it up and putting it in the bin for defo. I heard the bin men find all the meat. They didn't know what it was. The carpet had to be lifted in the bedroom because of all the body matter.

Starting point is 00:13:12 It was in my flat for a week. I've left home. Either way, Kirby's gone. I hope for her sake the body I chopped up was fake and a setup. Must have been hated for someone to go to so much and all that blood splatter up the walling joke. Something going on. She's dead and has been chopped up and put down the toilet and in the bins down the road. It took a week to get rid of the body. It was horrible. Heads gone. I know what I saw. It was real. It seems real. Either Kirby dead or set up. Long with sending this message, Dean had also sent two photos showing blood spattered all around his room. It shook Rebecca to the core. In a way, he had confessed to murder. A common thread in all

Starting point is 00:13:56 of Dean's messages was his uncertainty, as he seemed unsure whether Kirby was truly dead or if he had even killed her at all. And it turns out that Dean making those confusing claims wasn't a bad joke. Former homicide detective Brian Hook described that the person writing these texts wasn't in touch with reality. Detective Hook explained that when a person like Dean has a heavy drug addiction, the line between reality becomes so thin that he himself can't distinguish between what has happened in reality and what's going on in his head. It's as if he were describing a nightmare. Rebecca immediately called her mother. Another cousin, Tony Ann Barlow, then contact the Merseyside Police, urging them to check on Dean and Kirby's flat.

Starting point is 00:14:39 The following evening on May 18, 2017, an officer named Police Constable Neil was dispatched to the apartment. When he arrived, Dean answered the door, shirtless, disoriented in wearing a necklace strung with what he claimed were Kirby's teeth. As Constable Neil stepped inside, he was confronted with a scene straight out of a nightmare. Blood was spattered across the walls.

Starting point is 00:15:03 The air was thick with the stench of decomposition. A metal bar lay nearby. A blood-soaked mattress had been flipped over and stuffed aside, along with a rock that shows signs of being smashed on some surface, as if due to heavy impact. Dean also boldly confessed to killing his girlfriend when speaking to Constable Neal. He explained that he had killed Kirby and disposed of her body parts in a wheelie bin. Though he said he couldn't recall every detail,

Starting point is 00:15:31 he claimed he could still see the images in his head. Dean even admitted that the blood spattered across the room belonged to Kirby. He was immediately arrested as the primed suspect in her murder. Forensic tests later confirmed that the blood was indeed Kirby's. Dean was then charged and prosecuted for her brutal killing, but Kirby's body was still missing. Investigators plastered posters across town, urging the public to come forward with any information that could lead to finding her remains. Close friends even set up Facebook pages in hopes of gathering clues. but there was nothing. Despite extensive searches, public appeals, and countless hours of investigation,

Starting point is 00:16:11 no trace of Kirby's body was ever found. Meanwhile, police began piecing together what had actually happened inside the flat. The evidence gathered, investigators concluded that sometime between January 11th and 14th of 2017, Dean brutally murdered Kirby using a metal rod and a rock. There was strong evidence suggesting that Dean continued living in the flat for several days after the murder, eating, sleeping, watching TV and taking drugs right next to Kirby's lifeless body. Two Bull Terriers were also present in the same room. There was no clear motive for the murder. Detectives concluded that the killing had likely occurred while Dean was high on drugs.

Starting point is 00:16:49 Nevertheless, the case itself was clear as day. Dean Lowe had murdered his longtime girlfriend Kirby Notin while under the influence and then tried to erase all traces of the crime by dismembering her body and disposing of it in extremely inhumane ways. He had already confessed to his cousin and even the first responding officer leaving little doubt about what had happened. Now, in a strange turn of events, Kirby's mother Anita had previously spoken to a psychic that might have predicted her daughter's death. While on vacation, she had her palm red. She shared that.

Starting point is 00:17:20 He looked at my palm and asked me who was the girl who had five children. I said that was Kirby. She had three children and lost two. He said he saw prison bars and somebody behind them for a long time. He said, I'm sorry to tell you this. but her body isn't a mess. I thought the bars were for Dean, that he would get done for drugs,

Starting point is 00:17:39 but I never thought he'd be put behind them for killing my girl. However, when his official trial began a year later on April 23, 2018, Dean's story completely changed. He pled not guilty to Kirby's murder, claiming the situation had been misunderstood. Then, on May 4th of the same year,

Starting point is 00:17:58 when Dean took the witness stand, the version of events he gave shocked everyone in the courtroom. According to Dean, he had been drugged and essayed by two men, and that Kirby herself had staged the entire scene to make him look guilty. He said Kirby had removed her colostomy bag inside the flat, spattering blood everywhere to frame him before supposedly running away to South Africa to start a new life with another man. But that wasn't even the most shocking part.

Starting point is 00:18:29 Dean went as far as to say that while he was incarcerated, he received a phone call from Kirby who allegedly told him, you're f***ed now, you're stuck inside, and I'm enjoying my new life. It was an absolute vile and manipulative claim. By this point, Dean had already been in custody for nearly a year, which meant that he was completely sober now, and after all that time of no contact, no sightings, and no evidence of Kirby being alive,

Starting point is 00:18:57 he had the audacity to give her grieving family false hope that she was still out there somewhere. Dean's trial stretched for over two weeks, but throughout every hearing, he showed no signs of remorse. He sat there coldly expressionless. On Thursday, May 10th, 2018, after nine hours and 35 minutes of deliberation, a jury of six men and six women found Dean Lowe guilty of murder.

Starting point is 00:19:25 Dean wasn't present in court that day to hear the verdict himself. Earlier, he had told the court that he and Kirby spent Christmas of 20, 2016 together, claimed that the last time he saw her was sometime between January 10th and 15th of 2017. Prosecution argued that Dean had brutally beaten Kirby to death and disposed of her body in an attempt to hide his crime. According to them, Kirby was already dead by January 14th when Dean tried to withdraw money from her bank account in ATM. Paul Dunkels, Queens Council, leading the prosecution, told the court, having killed her, the defendant moved her body, probably in pieces, and cleaned up the worst of the blood and cutting away the worst of the carpet.

Starting point is 00:20:03 For four months, he lived on in the flat in the state it was in. Living in the midst of what he had done must have been gruesome. After the verdict was delivered, Mrs. Justice May told the court that she would need time to carefully consider Dean's sentence. She also requested that Anna Vigar's King's counsel, representing the defense, provide any relevant findings from the psychiatric evaluations that have been conducted on Dean. In a heartfelt statement following the verdict, Kirby's family said, Dean Lowe is taken away from us something totally precious, and although we welcome this verdict,

Starting point is 00:20:34 it will never replace our loss. Dean's final sentence was handed down on Tuesday, May 15th, 2018 at Exeter Crown Court by Mrs. Justice May. In her remark, she stated that no one would ever truly know what happened to Kirby Nodin, as there was no body to reveal the extent of your deadly abuse, no one there to mourn or say goodbye. She described the killing as a pitiless attack on someone who had done no. nothing but love you devotedly. Justice May condemn Dean's repeated denials, calling them an act of cowardice and cruelty, she continued, your lies about her are the very opposite of remorse.

Starting point is 00:21:10 You have never once expressed any regret for all that you have done. By all accounts, Kirby was besotted with you, following wherever you went, doing whatever you asked her to do. She described you as the love of her life. You, on the other hand, spoke of her as that skanky bitch. The judge further ruled that Dean was not suffering from any mental illness at the time of the murder and had been fully aware of his actions. Dean Lowe was sentenced to a minimum term of 28 years behind bars. Even though everyone, including Kirby's mother, believed justice had finally been served, Rebecca still mourned Dean in her own way, as in her words, the Dean I knew growing up would have never done that to Kirby or anybody.

Starting point is 00:21:54 And yet, he did. But the man who committed this horrific act wasn't the same dean Rebecca once knew. It'd become someone entirely different. A hollow, cruel version of the boy she grew up with. A man capable of destroying not only Kirby's life, but also every trace of her existence, robbing her loved ones of the chance to say goodbye or hold a proper funeral. But the people Kirby touched in her life continue to remember her as the kind-hearted person she was. Rebecca said of Kirby, you could just not know her, and you just feel like you've known her forever.

Starting point is 00:22:30 She's just one of them people. Ellie held back tears as she remembered her in tender words. She was really lovely. She had a really big heart. She cared a lot. I do think that she tried to protect me and that spoke volumes. I wish she was still here. I wish you were able to have your daughter back.

Starting point is 00:22:49 In the 2025 Femicide Census Report, published, under the haunting words, every dead woman is one too many. The name Kirby Noten appears among more than 2,000 women killed by men across the United Kingdom. The report is dedicated to their memory, to every life lost, every story cut short. Kirby's name, listed quietly among them, is a reminder that behind every statistic is a person who laughed, loved, and deserved far better than the violence that ended their life. Although the family has no body to bury, they held a service for Kirby at St. John's Church,

Starting point is 00:23:29 located not far from where her mother Anita currently lives. Shared the following with the Daily Record, and I quote, We gave her a nice send-off at St. John's Church. There was no body, but we released balloons in Kirby's favorite color, red. Just as the service started, a butterfly fluttered past me into the church. I think it was Kirby. I was too busy crying to see it,

Starting point is 00:23:50 but my friend caught it in a cup, I released it into the sky with the balloons after the service. A heron flew up past the balloons at the same time. I wonder if that was a sign from Kirby, too. In our garden, we have a bench with a brass plaque dedicated to her. I go and sit on it sometimes to feel close to her. We have a little shrine with statues, lights, and flowers in the garden that I weed every day to be near her.

Starting point is 00:24:14 A few weeks back, my dog suddenly clung to the corner where we have a large picture of Kirby and started shaking. Say a dog has a six sense. I think was Kirby paying a visit. Dog is a new addition to the household, so he had never seen her in life. So I feel like she's still with us. It'd be nice to think that she's hanging around. If she died from cancer or was hit by a car, it might be more understandable.

Starting point is 00:24:37 You could have said goodbye to her, but not this. I just can't get over it. From her home in Cheshire, Anita shared with reporters the contents of a box sitting on her coffee table, saying, Now all that's left of my beautiful girls in the small box, Just a few pieces of tat, cheap jewelry. No gold or silver, just some beads and rope she probably picked up in the charity shop. He was the love of her life and father of two of her children, but he did not care about her at all.

Starting point is 00:25:05 I wish I could have been there to save her. So I have a couple things to talk about with regards to this episode. And the first one is something that we saw when we covered Sulea Williams. And we saw it again when we did Kirby, Nodens. So while doing my research into this case, I came across Kirby's mother Anita's Facebook page. And she made a post on July 4th, 2018, that said, If people are putting stories in magazines, get it right. Her name is Kirby Simone, not and never has been Kirsty.

Starting point is 00:25:43 I know I am her mother, or should I say, broken-hearted mother. So this is important to put out there because I know there's going to be a lot of people who have seen this covered somewhere else saying, hey, you have her name completely wrong. It's Cursy, not Kirby. No, this is her mother. It is absolutely Kirby, Nodin. Now, I will note how people are getting this wrong.

Starting point is 00:26:07 Not only is Kirby's mother saying this, but the people who got it wrong are the BBC. Let's see who else did. I'm just scrolling. You can look this up if you want to as well, simply using Google. Cornwall Live, which is, I'm not. I'm assuming some sort of news.

Starting point is 00:26:23 It's a news outlet in the UK. Yeah. Sorry. Not doing my words well again. The Daily Mail messed it up. The Devon and Cornwall police on their Facebook page messed it up. The Irish Independent missed it up. Torbay Council's UK.gov page messed it up.

Starting point is 00:26:43 So it's like, it's just amazing to me. Like all these different outlets and sources have mom right there to talk to her. but are still getting it wrong. Now, when we did Sulea's case, I made a pinpost about this as to why it's fine for the mainstream media. In this case, even law enforcement to mess it up. But when you have independent creators covering a case,

Starting point is 00:27:09 if we even sneeze, it's now a problem. You get what I'm saying? Our cats come on screen and it's a problem. It's a problem. Like, when I posted this question, This was a rhetorical question. I didn't actually need advice or anyone to answer me. I know the answer to this.

Starting point is 00:27:26 It was more if I need you to think about this type of thing. And here we have another example of just everyone messing it up when you have mom there to ask or simply just doing some simple searching in your research. Giving the police and mainstream media a pass, but holding creators to a much, much higher standard. And look, we actually got it right. So I just want to make this clear right out the gate that in trying to honor a victim or talk about a victim, at least get their name right. Right.

Starting point is 00:28:02 So that's why we're making it clear. No, it is Kirby, not Kirstie. Yeah. And stop with the crabs in a bucket mentality because that is actually the answer to my rhetorical question. But anyway, the other thing that we found here, or we're not really found, but we really were just like wondering about. So Kirby, when she was dismembered by awful dean, was flushed down the toilet and also thrown away in dumpsters. And a question really I had with this, and maybe some of like our UK listeners can answer this is why wasn't she found? Like sometimes things go to a sort facility over here in the States and you'll find things.

Starting point is 00:28:40 Not always, as we've seen with a lot of like child victims, they end up in in landfills and are never found again. But is this something that you have there? Like that was just like what made me curious how none of Kirby's parts were found, not even ahead. And I know Drewby did a little bit of research into like, into like sort recycling. And it looks like they have some of it there,

Starting point is 00:29:03 but maybe folks over in the UK know a little better than us on this one. Well, no, I was looking at this too. I have this up on the screen. There's a couple places. This one's SL recycling, which is in the UK. and how it's how it's describing it, it sounds like it's pre-sorted, it goes on conveyor belts.

Starting point is 00:29:23 I don't see anything here that wouldn't tell me a way that the body parts would have gone missing. Now obviously here in America, when something like this happens, it's not a guarantee that they'll find somebody, especially a child if they're sent off to a landfill. but you can find somebody that way.

Starting point is 00:29:47 And the fact that Kirby was not found, none of her was found. Right. And then this is also a person on drugs, too. Like they could have just been saying really crazy things. It's possible. It could have thrown her in the ocean. It's possible he didn't even put her in the bins. And that could be the explanation to all this is why didn't they find her during the sorting?

Starting point is 00:30:09 Well, he claims he threw her in the garbage. Maybe she didn't. actually get thrown in the garbage. We'll never know. And this is what happens when a perpetrator is on drugs, unfortunately.

The Misery Machine - The Case of Kirby Simone Noden

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