The Misery Machine - (Yergy + Drewby Episode) Are Labubus Secretly Satan’s Beanie Babies?

Episode Date: September 12, 2025

If you need a break from our normal true crime content, then you've found the place... Join Yergy and Drewby as they discuss lighthearted topics from around the internet, travel to far off lands (if only in their minds), and hang out with the kitties. Help them get their "funny" back one story at a time 💜Support Our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/themiserymachineJoin Our Facebook Group: https://t.co/DeSZIIMgXs?amp=1PayPal: https://www.paypal.me/themiserymachineOfficial Merch Store: https://miserymachine-shop.fourthwall.com/Instagram: miserymachinepodcastTwitter: misery_podcastDiscord: https://discord.gg/kCCzjZMFair Use Disclaimer: "Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for 'fair use' for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use."

Imagine a plush toy that's part forest elephant, part tiny vampire. Adorable yet unnervingly mischievous. Meet Labuboos, the nine-toothed creature making K-pop idols look chic one moment and sparking a mock-demand. Yamava Resort and Casino at San Manuel is California's number one entertainment destination for today's superstars. Catch the Jonas Brothers return to the Yamava Theater stage on April 30th, the powerful vocals of Demi Lovato on May 17th, and the signature Southern Country Rock of Eric Church on July 19th.

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I hope I said that correctly, for his storybook series The Monsters, a whimsical ensemble inspired by Nordic folklore. The central character, Labubu, looks like a fuzzy elf crossed with a gremlin, sporting nine sharp teeth, big round eyes, and point of years. They debuted in 2015 under How to Work,

but true fame struck in 2019 when Toy Giant Pop Mart turned them into collectible blind box figure. meaning you don't know which version of the Labubu you'll get until you open it. So how the hell did these things become so popular? Well, for starters, Blinks, that's Black Pink fans, went absolutely wild in mid-20204, when Lisa, that's Mook from White Lotus Season 3 for all of you non-K-pop fans, was spotted sporting a Labubu keychain on her Hermes back.

Suddenly, these strange little creatures were everywhere. I'm such a nerd. Secondly, blind box addiction plus scarcity mentality equals frenzy. Collectors thrive on mystery and Labu delivers that. Weekly limited drop, surprise variance, and rarity fueled resale mania. Some rare ones have fetched four to five figure prices. Labouba has caused modern day riots similar to that of cabbage patch kids in the 80s or Beanie babies in the 1990s.

Remember when those were supposed to pay for our college tuition? I regret to admit that when I was between the ages of six and nine, my cousin and I started doing whatever we could to acquire Beanie Babies because we thought they would appreciate and value to the point where we could retire as adults. If only someone taught us about dividend stocks or index funds instead. I remember being a child and waking up early in the morning before school to see QVC selling these ultra-rare Beanie babies and Don West screaming out of his mind about if you didn't buy them now, they were gone forever.

This deal is so good that I can hardly wait to read the net tomorrow to hear what people have to say about what we did. That bear alone will cover the price of everything. Now here's the problem. Number one, we only have a few of these. Maples, $400. If you can afford it, buy it. By the way, that 1995 price test.

you saw in the clip is about four grand in 2025 prices, which comes out to about 4,250 per Beanie Baby. If that seems like a lot of money to you, just know that there's some Laboubu blindboxes going for more than that and some individual rare Labuboos going for hundreds, showing full well that nothing has been learned from the mistakes of previous generations.

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marketplaces, pop-up shops, and even physical events. These imitators mimic the distinctive, ugly, cute aesthetic of Labubu, but fall significantly short in craftsmanship and authenticity. Here's a fake Labibou I got while dumpster diving. Not very rare, but very squirrelly. In the UK, over 100,000 Lafoufus have been seized by border force due to safety risks, including toxic materials and choking hazards linked to poor construction and small, easily detachable parts.

The Better Business Bureau has flagged numerous scam reports involving fake Labubu purchases, ranging from receiving nothing at all to getting some scandalous. But in a world where knockoffs are getting harder and harder to spot, how can you tell if your Labibu is actually not a Lafufu? Well, here are some key red flags. Number one, wrong number of teeth. Genuine Labibu dolls always have nine pointed teeth. Fakes sometimes have ten or even fewer.

Number two, missing authenticity marks. Look for a QR code, holographic label, or potmart logo on the box. or tag. Fakes typically will omit these. Number three, poor packaging. Authentic boxes often have embossed lettering and a sleek finish, whereas fakes may appear dull or incorrectly printed. Number four, strange colors or finish. Labibu's signature pale peach facial tone should be met.

Inconsistent blush, coloring, or fuzzy texture can signal a fake, and finally, number five, the UV footstam. Real ones glow up. under a black light. This is often absent in counterfeits. Now, I have this pumpkin Labibu that I managed to snag off eBay a few months back. It's got the nine teeth, but I have no idea whether it's real or fake. And honestly, I don't care that much. I was going to hang it from my rearview mirror, but the way things are going, that's just asking for a smash and grab. Now, some folks have highlighted Labubus as the result of the evils of consumerism,

as if people criticizing it talk like they are exempt from participating in consumerism in America. Likely the same kinds of people who called themselves non-conformists in high school. Oh, fashion has become way too corporate. I'm going to shop at Hot Topic. Anyway, a photo of Labubu was placed on Karl Marx's tomb, and that has gone viral on social media. In the photo, a toy is placed at the foot of the grave in Highgate Cemetery. According to one commenter, leaving a Laboubu, a symbol of capitalist excess and consumer fetishism

on the grave of Karl Marx, the fiercest critic of capitalism, is like leaving a Gucci handbag at Gandhi's grave. While another chimed in, that's just Comrade Labubu. It discovered its purpose and seeks to correct that damage its creators have caused. Comrade Labubu has dedicated itself to the liberation of the working class and came to Marx's grave seeking atonement. That's not Comrade Labubu. We already have Comrade Labu at home, and its name is Chebaraška. All right, everyone, welcome to Arco Rewards Orientation. I'm Hannah. Whoa, is everything okay?

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Anywho, others believe that the small-toothy dolls represented a whole different kind of evil, something a little more sinister in nature. I am burning this thing. This thing has been ruining my life, and it is cursed. I am not kidding. Do not buy these things. And some weirdo parents are actually following this advice and burning their loboos like they're a stack of Harry Potter books. If you haven't guessed, there is a conspiracy theory circulating around TikTok that Labuboos have demonic origins with some going as far as to claim that they are, in fact, the demon Pazuzu. Now, Pazuzu comes from ancient Mesopotamian mythology, dating back at least 2,500 to 3,000 years. He was considered the king of the wind demons and the bringer of storms, drought and famine. Basically, if your crops failed, you could blame him. And he wasn't a looker either.

Picture this. A human body. A lion or dog face. Bulging eyes. A beard. Wings. Eagle talons. And even a scorpion.

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In a strange twist of demonic logic, he was also invoked to protect pregnant women and infants, usually from another nastier demoness named Lamash to. So, yes, he might starve your village, but he'd always. also babysit your kid, as long as it annoyed his enemy. So to sum it all up for you, I trust the demon Pizzou, more than I trust any of the parents that we cover on the misery machine. I mean, what's a fad without some good old Satanism? And I mean, this thing kind of looks a little satanic, don't you think?

I mean, people think Halloween is satanic. Remember when Pokemon and Magic the Gathering first hit the scene and people were freaked out that these were signs that Satan was corrupting the souls of children? Hell, I remember when I first started playing Dungeons and Dragons, and members of my extended family thought I had joined a Satan worshipping cult. Dungeons and Dragons. Satan's game. Your children, like it or not, are attracted in their weaker years to the occult, and a game like D&D fuels their imagination and makes them feel special

while drawing them deeper and deeper into the bowels of El Diablo. Well, lo-buboos are no different. Per Labubu is Satan.com. Labibu's are demonic. Protect the children and open your eyes. The return of a Mesopotamian demon. Whomever webmasters are, they seek to destroy the largest Labibu doll on August 30th,

referring to it as the alpha demon. Do we know how big this doll is? It's like not as tall as this. So it's like four feet tall? So it's like an oversized lawn gnome. Yeah. Okay. All right.

Anyway. Now at this point, Nothing should surprise us anymore. But this group who describes itself as simply a group of parents who are passionate about protecting children has managed to raise just over $48,000 of their $150,000 goal to buy this giant Laboooo Boo Boo Boo. People actually gave them money. And I don't even know what they're going to do with it.

Are they going to lock it up in some crypts so that way it doesn't infect the world? Are they going to ritualistically burn it? It's not really clear what their plans are with it. But it's not just folks on TikTok that have a lot of time on their hands. Russia proposed banning Labubus for being terrifying and potentially harmful to one's mental health, while parts of Iraq confiscated thousands, claiming they may attract demonic spirits. Laboubos may be little plush monsters with sharp teeth,

but they've become the latest cultural icon. Their creepy cute, fierce fashion statements, goofy pop culture specimens, and, depending on who you ask, possibly demonic harbingers of doom. Labibu isn't evil because it has sharp teeth. It's evil because it understands yours. The ones you use to bite down on every limited drop consumer bait they dangle in front of you.

Me included. Are you satanic? You sure fucking act like it.