The Morning Stream - TMS 2094: Ever Eat a Pine Tree?

Episode Date: April 6, 2021

Scrodenger's Seventeen Year Old. I don't like Weird Goat Cheeeeeeese! RIP Mario, Lets-a Go. I'm Impressed With The Size Of This Guy's Chimney! Do Microphones Have Arms Because I Like Really Wanted to Know? Hardened Leprechaun Turds. I had to pee in a Starbucks cup while a trucker watched me. Coconut Milk: Better than Unregulated Sewer Water. Late Stage Wrapping Paper Lung. How Are You Going To Get Up The Floo If You Don't Open Your Damper?!? Do not get Howie Mandel Wet! Two Piles of Guns, the Perfect Outdoor Furniture. Creamed Corn Soupy Chowder. By the Book Investigation with JRY and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks to ExpressVPN for supporting the morning stream. If you believe the data is your business, secure yourself. ExpressVPN will secure your privacy and protect your information. Visit ExpressVPN.com slash TMS, and you can get an extra three months free on a one-year package. Coming up on TMS, Schrodinger's 17-year-old. I don't like weird go cheese. Rip Mario. Let's a go.

I'm impressed with the size of this guy's chimney. Do microphones have arms because I really wanted to know? Hardened Lepricon turds. I had to pee in a Starbucks cup while a trucker watched me. Coconut milk, better than unregulated sewer water. Late stage wrapping paper lung. How are you going to get up the flu if you don't open your damper? Do you not Howie Man, sorry, do you, do not get Howie Mandel wet?

That's awesome. Two piles of guns, the perfect Texas outdoor furniture. Creamed corn soupy chowder. By the book Investigation with Jury and more on this episode of The morning stream. How bad is the bombing at home? Well, it's getting worse. Dad thinks we should move into one of the underground cities.

He's getting the papers today. It's that bad. Yeah, Alex. I don't know when I'll get back to see you. Derek, you're almost old enough to be a space cadet. James, go and prevent a confusion in the city. This is the morning stream. Behave yourselves.

Good morning, everybody. Welcome to TMS. It's the morning stream for Tuesday, April 6th, 2021. There's a lot of th-th-th-th-th-th in there. There is. Sounds like somebody, I don't know, eating paper or something. Anyway, it's Scott Johnson here. Brian Abbott there.

Ryan. Good morning. Hey, good morning. Hey, hey, hey. Look, we got a, we got a show. It's a Tuesday. We hope everybody's doing okay. We had a weird day yesterday because it's like 75 degrees, beautiful day. Sunny, warm, shorts, perfect. And then last night, a little bit of wind before bed and thought, no big deal. We'll see what happens in the morning. Woke up this morning, I don't know, three quarters of an inch of snow and 32 degrees. So you never know. The intermountain, in a freaking spring business is never very predictable. You kind of have to just push through it and we're gonna be

getting that tonight. We had the same deal, right? 75, almost 80 yesterday got out on the bike watching somebody walking their dog in front of my house. I really got to figure out a way to put this camera like share this camera a different way. Isn't there, is there a way to make it an input?

We got to figure that out. That sounds great. I bet there is a way I can do it. Lady walking her dog in front of my house and the dog smell something in our lawn and doesn't just like stop and like you know kick their drag their feet on the ground to prevent

them from getting moved he just dropped in the grass it is a chocolate lab she just finally pulled him out of frame but yeah the dog just like dropped I am not moving it's like the kid laying down on the floor

in the bank because didn't get a sucker from the teller and I'm not leaving until I get a sucker They just go limpingly on the floor. I feel like big tired dogs feel like they have the right to just plop down when they want. Exactly. What was I saying?

When I got distracted by a dog. Oh, the weather, yes. So 75, 80 degrees yesterday. Gorgeous day. Got on the bike. And then it's 50s today. We're getting whatever you've got. We're getting it tonight overnight.

And then, you might get a little snow, but it won't be too bad. It'll be all right. Typical Rocky Mountains, you and you and me. we'll see 70 degree weather by the end of the weekend. It's the most unpredictable springs on the planet in this area. It's so stupid because it'll be really warm and awesome one day and then snowy the next day and then warm and awesome the next day. And you just can't really predict it. You know, famous, not famously, but everyone remembers the trip to Vegas I took in 2015 or whatever it was.

And then on the way home, you know, in, no, that was like in May, I think. Right. Or maybe late April, but it was like well into spring. we got hit with a freaking snowstorm blizzard thing on the way home and ended up getting stuck in the highway had to stay in a hotel off the road It took a pee in a Starbucks cup

I had to pee in a Starbucks cup While a trucker watched me Over here who's way up here Looking at me the whole time Real good there By the way there's a stop If you want to go up and meet me It's the next exit

Bring the pee Yeah You bring that pee You bring that pee with you. You throw out that pee with you, boy. You throw out that pee I'm not interested anymore. Keep and warm by the air heater. Yeah. That's how I like my pee. I want to go for. But anyway, so yeah, so weather. It's weird. All right. I got a, just got a quick thanks to send out to everybody, especially to Tadpool, who I think we're sort of tip of the spear on this. But the Rock Runner's Incorporated deal that I launched yesterday on Kickstarter. My card game that I designed and made. took off and funded in like 12 minutes and then it kept going and now we're up to I don't know

300% higher than we thought we were going to be so we want to keep that train running obviously I've got some stretch goals being prepped as we speak that will be put up there today and they'll be there for everybody including people have already supported if they want to go up higher or if they want to stay whatever we're going to unlock some additional cards like some booster pack stuff. So really cool stuff coming. Just keep your eyes open on that. I'll make sure to let everybody know. But giant thanks to everybody who helped

make that go through yesterday. Because super cool. Anytime you do a Kickstarter, it's like you know, how's this going to go? Is it going to be fast? It's going to be short. Am I going to have to, day 28, am I going to be desperately trying to figure out a way? Yeah. Like I did with a couple of those early

Andrew Allen albums. Like please, please fund. I'm going to, if we missed this thing by I have 1,500 bucks. I'm going to have to just put it on a credit card so he can make this damn album. I think part of my problem is I just, I go, I low ball because I don't want to do it. That's the way, that's the right way to do it, because the last thing you want to do is say, ah, man, I got enough fans and popularity.

This thing is going to fund instantly so that when it does, it's great, but you don't want to expect that because if it doesn't, for whatever reason. It's the worst feeling. So I just, you know, anyway, we. Plus, this thing, I've been at this particular project for two years or something. Well, as long as Vann's been alive, that's kind of the clock on it. And it's time. The kid's starting to know.

He knows his ABCs, by the way. He can go from A to Z at age two. So I better hurry up. Yeah, you should hear it. It's a trip. Like, I don't know where. Get this game out so that you can get really good at it before he does. And, you know, he's mostly at the next Thanksgiving card game.

Yeah, no kidding. But he did, like, this full. like A to Z the other night right in front of me without any help. I'm like, what are you how are you doing that? What are you? Some kind of alien with the with the full ABC knowledge. Come on now. You're two. Two year old, two years two years old's early for that. My kids never did that too.

Kids didn't know that. That's not right. I mean, I'm sure there are other kids who've done it too but none of mine did. Like I made fun of them all. Well, two of them were here and I said, what happened to you guys? You guys didn't do your ABCs? Do you're like four? Or something like that. Anyway. So that's been fun.

And I have a statement to make. It's an important one. Okay. All right. Where to go? Oh, it's right here. In here, I have some sort of morning tea. I forget which one we used, but it's a nice morning, you know, wake me up, give me some caffeine kind of tea.

And in here is, I've been putting half and half the creamer in there, you know. Like real, like dairy half and half? Yeah, dairy half and half. Dairy doesn't bug me. It's been fine. But, and I'm not really big on alternative. alternative milks like I don't really like almond milk I'm not a fan of soy or rice milk like they all kind of seem wrong almond is okay soy and don't get me start on coconut milk the only thing that belongs in is Thai soups yeah it's the only thing you should be put in coconut milk I totally agree with you on that um or well I will say this when I was in China the coconut milk saved me because it was that and bottled water and that was the only choice you had unless you wanted to drink unregulated weird freaking sewer water and that was the only choice you had unless you wanted to drink unregulated weird freaking sewer water and the city good good point yes as a matter of fact coconut milk great for hangovers yeah oh really is that

true yes for for hydrating like while you're while you're drinking alternate and do some uh coconut milk or or coconut water yeah and um uh or have it in the morning and it it helps a lot with uh i did not know that with hangovers the because here's the problem with coconut milk when you put it with anything yeah all you taste is coconut milk right Tina bought me some cream or those coconut milk and i put in my coffee guess what I was drinking coconut milk with a slight hint of coffee. A dash of coffee. Yeah.

So, yes. Well, so. Anyway. That's interesting because around this house, like Carter really likes her unsweetened almond milk in everything. She'll do cereal with it, like whatever. She loves it. But I just can't do it. So it's been hard to get me to do anything but regular old milk when it comes to whatever.

The closest thing is Kim makes a really good corn. cream corn chowder soupy thing I'm sure there's a better word for it and it has she uses almond milk in that and it's fantastic it's perfect whereas regular milk gets you all bloaty and disgusting in that soup so

so anyway somebody picks up a carton of this oat milk and I've never had oat milk before and put it in here and my gosh it's good yeah it does have a little bit of a flavor but it's not overpowering

no but definitely there's like a there's definitely like an earthy or a there's a there is a flavor it adds to it that isn't that is not bad at all yeah and in coffee it's great yeah there's some kind of cool combo happening there plus it's creamy and uh or I guess you can get it more creamy bit anyway point is I guess I'm here to say I support oat milk and not not goat milk for those at home I didn't say goat I said oh yeah okay yeah nothing Nothing good comes out of the teat of a goat unless you're in a village with no other choices. Yeah, there's some good goat cheeses.

Oh yeah, cheeses are good. I like the cheeses. But that just seems, if you trace, if you think, okay, if you look at a nice piece of goat cheese on like a charcutory board, right? And you're looking at it and you're going, ah, cheese from a goat. It's best not to think about it.

You know what I mean? Like, it's best just think of it as cheese and move on. Don't visualize the goat. For whatever reason, visualizing the cow, totally fine. But you look at those weird-looking goats in their weird eyes and the weird noises they make. Hair coming out of places that shouldn't be coming out of on a goat. And you're like, I'm not eating anything that comes out of that thing. You're grabbing by the hairy.

They're always hairy teats, right? They're not clean. Demon from hell is what that creature is. The cows have the smooth, clean, you know, udders. Goats are like coarse hair sticking out of the udders. it looks like a freaking nightmare down there. Yeah, that ain't right. Yeah, it's not good.

And you grab them and they go, ah, whatever they say. It's not, goats are bad. Anyway, but what was my point with that? Just, oh, just that I'm pro, I'm pro this oat milk. Oh, and also Carter pointed out that I guess it takes something like a gallon of water per almond to make almond milk. It's like some ridiculous hit on water, yeah. Or something like that. I can't remember the exact.

Someone in the chat will get the correct numbers on that, but there's some enormous amount of water it takes in the process of getting almonds into whatever this form is and calling it milk. But in oat milk's case, it's like way less. Interesting. So environmentally maybe it's better. I don't know.

That's a bummer. I like, you know, oat milk is at the top, but almond milk's second for, like, cereal and stuff. Now we'll try maybe get in a carton of the oatmeal Because the oatmeal creamer we really like But I haven't tried the oat milk Like on cereal and stuff Yeah, I wonder if that's all right

I mean there's the creamier kind You probably don't want that on cereal That seems weird But you know what I do like I like is this weird I like Instead of milk Whatever the cereal is

Let's say And not sugar cereals But like you know I don't know Honeybunches of oats let's say That With a bowl of Just plain yogurt

Mm-hmm Yeah, nothing wrong with that at all. Yeah, I love that. Do you do the Greek yogurt? You're saying like the regular. I like Greek yogurt, yeah. I think I prefer the Greek stuff. The Costco, we both like it.

What's it called? Costco, not Kirkland. Kirkland? No, it's something else. Is that the one thing that Costco that doesn't come from Kirkland? What is the Costco brand? Horizon? Is that it?

I don't know. You and I've talked about it before. They come in those tubs and they're fantastic. They're so good. They're really, really good. Oh, Fayet. Oh, that's it, that's it. That's it.

Yeah, very, very good stuff. Okay, Claregak's got the numbers. It may seem outrageous that a single almond requires one gallon of water to produce, aka a serving of 23 almonds, but not when you consider a single egg requires 53 gallons of hamburger. What? No, 53 gallons, comma. Oh, a hamburger requires 660 gallons. Oh, it cut off on my browser.

I can't see the comment. Oh, we gotcha. And a gallon of dairy milk. Oh, my gosh. 80 gallons of water produced. So, wow. Is that true? Because you got to give water to the cow.

You got to give water to the chicken. You don't have to, you only have to water the almond plant. You don't have to, like, put a trough out for it to drink out of. Good Lord. I'll think of that next time I eat a hamburger. Oh, I had a cereal question. Yeah. Let's say you go to your pantry, whatever, and you get out the box of honeynut churios.

Or what are you saying? Well, those are good, too. That's a perfect combo, actually. The honey nut or even just basic chirios are good in there. Okay. All right, you reach, you get, you pull out the box of Cheerios, yeah, honey on Cheerios or whatever. Sure.

And you dump it into a bowl and realize there's only like a quarter or a third of a bowl of cereal. Yeah. Do you go back to the cupboard, grab another kind of cereal, and fill out the bowl with a different kind of cereal? Or do you say, no, that's gross. I'm not mixing my cereals and eat just the honey bunches of meals or whatever. It depends on the cereal. If it's, let's say you start with Cheerios and that's what runs out, then I could go for, like, that Honeybunches of Oats is an okay pick. I don't have a problem with that.

So compatibility is a key, right? I mean, you're not going to mix your raisin brand and your Lucky Charms or something like that. Oh, my gosh, no. Oh, that sounds like a mistake. Here's the hypothetical that happened to us. Tina bought cinnamon toast crunch. I don't know why. I looked and there were no shrimp tails in there.

That turned out to all to be fake, right? I heard. I think so, yeah. Nice troll. So, you know, we're eating breakfast on having eggs. She pours the bowl of cinnamon toast crunch and it's just a third of a bowl in there. Okay. And she's like, well, damn, I wanted more.

And I said, well, just have another cereal in there. Now, we had corn checks. in my mind, that's actually an ideal situation because cinnamon toast crunch is just too damn sweet. It's like too sugary a cereal. I agree. You cap that off with some corn shacks. And I think you've got something, right? I 100% agree.

She thought that was the grossest thing. Like, what? Combined cereals. And it wasn't even a matter of like if they were compatible cereals. Like, let's say it was a honeynut Cheerios and a regular Cheerios. I think she'd bulk at that too. Is it just be? because there's some sweet in there and you're adding more kibble, basically, to the next?

I guess. Although she does the, she eats the Lucky Charms too, so, and that's basically kibble with marshmallows. Yeah, because those marshmallow things are the only sweet thing in there. If you eat just the, they really are, it's just the worst. Right. There's no flavor to the other pieces. I don't even know what they are.

If they're wheat or oat or bran or whatever the hell they are, they're really leprechaun shit. Yeah, they're like hardened leprechaun turds. Yeah, it's the part they don't tell you. Lucky never tells you this in the commercial. Yellow moons, blue stars, green clovers, and my little, little tasteless turds to watch fall down. I make a lot of them. Look at this box is primarily my turds.

I'm making them right now. Good thing. There's these blue moons. Have that with a purple horseshoe, I don't you? Yeah. Serial. What are you going to do? But she's wrong and you're right.

I just want to put that out there. If you're listening, Tina, I'm with you on the, they've got to be compatible. There's, you know, there are some that don't mix, but, but I think that anything on the, I don't know, really if you take brand out of the equation. I can't put raisin brand with anything else. Yeah, I agree. Or grape nuts or any of that. Well, we don't like grape nuts anyway. Yeah, who eats that garbage.

No one's eaten. Those are, those are, who's the guy, Yul Gibbons, the guy that says everything in this coffee table is. edible. Yule Gibbons. Oh my gosh. A name I haven't heard. I haven't heard that name in a hundred years. Hold on.

Yule Gibbons. Can we find him? See if you can spell his name, first of all. Yeah, right? Is it just like Yul? E-E-L-L-L. Here it is.

Yeah, Yule Gibbons. E-U-E-L-L, you're right. It was an outdoorsman and early health food advocate promoting eating wild foods during the 60s. Yeah. Oh my gosh He wrote a bunch of books

I'm trying to find in any reference to commercials Because I remember he would Here was the commercial Television commercial for post grape nuts cereal Featured Gibbons asking viewers Ever eat a pine tree? Many parts are edible All right now I got to hear part of this part of this

Yeah we're going to do it right now Here we go Yule Gibbons Oh he was on the electric company once That's funny All right here we got grape nuts Uh, hold on. I'm muted.

I don't know why. Okay, there we go. I'm Ewell Given. Many consider me an expert on natural foods like cat tails. Yes, they're edible. I look for natural ingredients in my food. That's why grape nuts is part of my breakfast. This is a wholesome cereal made from wheat and barley.

These natural ingredients are baked into crunchy nuggets. Oh, you can hear them. Yeah, you can hear them fall. It's naturally sweet taste reminds me of wild hickory nuts. This part reminds me When I ate cement a whole weekend long Like he's just like so into eating He's slightly better than eating cat tails

But not by much Ull Gibbons You'll givens Holy shit That just brings For some reason that's so Such a prominent childhood name in my head But I'd forgotten about that guy

Yeah Yeah sometimes I can Dennis Miller A name out of nowhere That's amazing All right well well done Ladies gentlemen Dennis Miller, even. Yeah, no kidding.

Ask your, I guess, your uncles or somebody. Ask your uncle about Dennis Miller and then ask Dennis Miller about Yulgivens. Yeah. He's still. Gilgiven's dead. No, he died. Yeah, okay. Yeah.

So Yul Gibbons. Dought in the 70s from eating cat tails and pine trees. Let me see how he died. Actually, we should have a thing about his death. But Dennis Miller's still alive, if that's what you. Yeah. Oh, here he is. Gibbons died December 29, 1975, age 64.

Well, that's not, he didn't live that long from his fancy food eating. No, no. Some Bayer Community Hospital and some Barry, Pennsylvania of a ruptured aortic aneurysm, a common complication of Marfan syndrome, or otherwise known as eating tiny rocks known as cereal in the morning. Yeah, exactly. Those will build up after a while and tear open your unit there. All right. We're going to do some news today.

Let's do some news. Yeah, we got, we got important news to get out there. We're going to do it. It's time for the news, brought to you by. The mission is to improve the quality of life for people who are blind, have low vision, or have other special needs. It's as simple as that. Support the Guide Dog Foundation for the Blind. Go to www.

www. guidedog.org and learn more about how you can help. That's www.w.w. You don't need those. Dot guidedog.org. Just go to guidedog.org. I didn't read the slashes or anything. Yeah, no, no, that's good.

So I get some credit. There's a, there's, go to H-T-TPS colon slash slash. There used to be, you know, that used to be people had to say that because old browsers were weird and you had to put things in. But we forget how easy it is now, so I don't blame you. All right. Let's dive in here into this story. Okay. We, you have a cat.

Is the cat on its bed right now? Cat is not on its bed. The cat is over. Oh, no, cat's not even over there. All right. No cat. That means we can safely talk about this animal. We can talk about cats now safely. It'll be all right. A 19 pound tuxedo cat. I don't know what that is. What's a tuxedo? That is a black cat that has white paws and sometimes a white belly. Basically, it's a cat that looks like he's wearing a tuxedo.

Is it a breed or just a happenstance? I think it's just, I don't think there's an actual breed called to Tuxedo Cat. I could be wrong. And if I am, the chat room will certainly help prove it. year of my ways, but I think it's just like a coloring, like a pattern. Oh, okay. Well, that makes sense. They look like they're wearing a little tux. That makes sense. Yeah. Sylvester is a tuxedo cat. Oh. Oh, okay. They're going after the, the, Tweety bird and whatnot. Yeah. All right. For those who don't know who we're talking about, Sylvester, the cat. It's basically like a Holstein. Well, Holstein's, I guess, are white with black spots, but I remember, oh, you were right. You were right. Tuxedo cats aren't a particular breed. Rather,

they get their name from the distinct coloring, or bi-coloring. There we go. You were totally right. Also, Claire Gak's like, what are you living on Wikipedia? What are you doing? Hey, we need somebody to do that.

I don't know who used to be. Dice Tomatoes? Somebody used to be right on with the with the old Wikipedia entries when we said something wrong. Sounds like Dice Tomato would. But now he just,

now he's just has bad reviews for things. Now he's just me about things. I was mad of everything. Just kidding dice to me. You're the happiest guy I know. That's true. A 19, excuse me, pound, a tuxedo cat, missing for a whole month, 30 days gone. Everyone assumed dead.

Saved after being trapped in a neighbor's chimney. Ah, freaking cats, dude. Getting in holes. They shouldn't be in, you dumbasses. How's a 19 pound cat get into, uh, manage the effort to climb anything? Yeah, I feel like I should be more impressed with either. the size of this guy's chimney or the physical prowess of a fat

cat than I should be about this cat uh, apparently see, a portly, although that's weird they didn't put a space between uh and portly a portly. A portly. A portly. A tuxedo cat found living while lodged in a chimney in a neighbor's house

at the conclusion of a Washington state woman's month long search for her missing pet. Caitlin Wurtenberger of Union Gap, Washington found her 19 pound cap piper oh piper in the chimney i don't know why that's why yeah oh yeah chimney pipe yeah that's why yeah do they even have those now is that a thing chimney pipes is that a deal well i mean uh like a flu do you have a chimney we have a we have a gas fireplace uh same so stuff has to go

somewhere do but it's not really but you don't burn things in it right like you don't open we don't burn actual burn smoke things in it no so but we used to you know our old house had a At a chimney that we had to put stuff in and light it. Yeah, clean it every year or whatever. Usually those, whatever, the logs that are made from wax and sawdust, Dura flames. Right. Oh my gosh.

We had Dura Flame logs all the time back in the day. Easy mode logs. Yeah. Easy mode fireplace. We probably, growing up in the Johnson house, I think my parents and our family may have contributed more to the environmental damage than we thought. because every Christmas, every birthday, it didn't matter if there was a ton of wrapping paper. As soon as it was unwrapped, it went in that fire.

Oh, yeah. All those dies and sparkles and, yeah. Yeah, it was bad. I keep thinking I'm going to go to the doctor one day and they're going to go, we got late stage freaking wrapping paper lung here. That's right. You've got hallmarkitis. Yeah.

You've been breathing too many fumes caused by burning wrapping paper. Home market us. Hall market us. Yeah. There's a word there. Anyway, so this lady got stuck in this thing. In a fireplace damper? I don't know what that is.

What's a damper? I think that's the damper is, is that the thing? So the flu is the thing you open and close. Right. Right. To let smoke out, keep cold air out and stuff. Right. The damper is the actual

The actual pathway that the smoke goes through Oh, oh, maybe Is that the hole? Is that the thing? Controls Airflow, I think, says Lassarge, I don't know It prevents Gus from getting out of control Okay, it dampens the wind Flu is the whole, I had it backwards, Flu is the hole, damper opens and closes

So really, when you say, hey, open the flu, we're going to do a fire, really you should be say open the damper So the smoke can go through the flu. Right. so exactly how are you going to get the flu if you don't open your damper how are you going to get up the flu if you don't open your damper you can't open your damper if you don't have a flu well whatever it is he got stuck in there because he's fat they did a 28 day search and rescue campaign that involved posting flyers knocking on doors around the neighborhood weeks into the search the new occupants of a nearby house that had been vacant when the search began, heard meowing but couldn't identify the source. After one week, they contracted Whartonberger

and invited her to investigate. Well, hold on. This is almost just like that story that Phoebe Kates told in the gremlins that made her hate Christmas. I feel like maybe that's why it feels familiar to me. Maybe. That's so funny you say that

because that's what maybe is ringing a bell. And now I hate cats. They're the willy. Hey, I heard they're making a new one of those. Is that true? There's a new Grimlins, right? Isn't that they making a series? A Grimlin series?

I don't know. Let's find out. Joe Dante's not around with us, or he's not with us anymore, right? No, I think he's passed. Okay, here we go. Nope, we can't find it. Well, all right. Oh, where's your Wikipedia now, Claire Gack?

Oh, Gremlin, Secrets of the Maguire, TV series, 2021. HBO Max. Really? So this year? Oh, that's where we've talked about this, right? Because we've got B.D. Wong and James Hong and Ming Now Wen are, like we talked about this casting because we're all excited about it. Maybe you talked about on a film site. It might have been, yeah.

I'm stoked now that I forgot about this cast. This will be great. This looks like AJ, AJ, there's Gizmos in it. Let's see, Gizmo. Yeah, Gizmo, the character Gizmo. Yeah, but it's not, yeah, because it's like the prequel to the first grimace. this movie. Where's Howie Mandel? Why don't we have Howie Mandel?

Yeah, what's with that? What's up with that? Do you think he can do that voice anymore? I don't know. I don't know. He gets too dirty now. It gets his hands dirty and he doesn't want that. Oh, it's going to be animated. So that's all, okay, so it's not going to be live action. That kind of makes more sense to me. It does, yeah.

But I'm in. I'll watch it. Totally in. Yeah. This is a cool cast. Good voice cast. B.D. Wong can do no wrong. When is this thing's late? Oh, likely arriving in 2021, so don't know when, but... No single date, yeah. Looks like it's wrapped primary...

Well, voice production, I guess they still have to animate it. Well, anyway, Gremlin's still a threat. Gremlin's still a thing. Yep. And poor Phoebe Cates. Yeah, poor Phoebe Cates. What are you going to do? Well, somebody think of the Phoebe Cates.

Think of her sometimes and that kind of thing. Is that song by the cars playing at the time? It is. The guy is a future, you know, he's a future Beverly Hills cop. He might have something to do with it, you know. That's my memory. There's some red. I think there's red involved.

Doesn't anybody knock anymore? That was a heck of a scene. All right. Where are we now? Cats out of the chimney now. Yep. Big cat out of there now and everything's fine. A vet turned.

and later determined that Piper had lost seven pounds and so maybe this was good for the cat and was dehydrated following her mishap that's not good uh but was otherwise an excellent condition would sell well on a secondary market just kidding it's not clear whether Piper weighed 19 pounds after being rescued down to 20 or down from 26 or had dropped to 12 after her ordeal so she may have been 26 pounds dropped to 19 there we go but they don't know these details are wow you know they're scarce we just know that she lost wait we don't know We're at what she started with. Yeah, she neither took pounds.

We know 19 pounds was involved. Yeah. And we also know that that tuxedo place is not taking it back. No, they're not interested. They're like, you keep it. And we're not giving your money back. Here's a story about Super Mario. You know, he's a, he's a popular mascot for video games.

He is. He's like a plumber turned turtle smasher, hero. Yep. He's a hero for all plumbers everywhere. And small. Italian men. Well, there's good news in the world now because there's been some panic over rumors that Mario was going to die.

The Nintendo was going to kill off Mario. And it turns out that is not true. I do hate articles that start with the phrase, the internet is freaking out over. I hate that. Because, right, because they want to add to the free, they want to cause the freak out. Yeah. But not only that, you can't say, it's like saying the internet is freaking out is like saying, like saying every single person alive is freaking out.

Like, you can't, it's too blankety. Right. Most people don't give a shit. So maybe a few people are. But anyway, some are freaking out over a rumor about the possible impending death of Mario, the famous red-wearing Italian plumber who changed the world of video games with a release of Super Mario Brothers 35 years ago. Oh, I might point to Donkey Kong if I was not a dumbass.

Hmm. Yeah. Where's a historical research guy on this article? Maybe quit being alarmist about the internet and do a little research. Yeah. Quit treating the internet like it's a single person. Anyway, in September, the Super Mario Brothers franchise celebrated its 35th anniversary. And they launched that remastered Super Mario 3D All-Stars thing, which had, what, Galaxy 1?

Not Odyssey. the one where he sprays things. So the Super Mario 64, Galaxy, and... Oh, Sunshine is the other one. Sunshine. The only one I didn't play and wasn't enough to warrant me spending the money to get that one before March 31st when it went off sale.

I'm just annoyed that they have this vault idea, so I'm not giving them my money for that. It annoys me. Yeah, that is annoying. Like, oh, we're not allowed to sell it anymore after this date. Yeah, it's stupid. Because you know they will eventually. There's going to be another collection

down the road. This is what Nintendo does. It's stupid. It's like the Disney Vault. Manufactured scarcity. Yeah, I hate that. Anyway, so that came and went without me giving them a dime for it because it pissed me off. And I'd played all those games before, including Sunshine to fruition. I like that game. But I'm not, you know,

not going to give me more money for this limited time offer, F you. Anyway, that's not the point. it is. Fans have been grappling to try to understand why sales of the new products will see some Wednesday at date many felt was arbitrary. Many of you speculated that means Mario's life will be ending as well. Mario dies tomorrow. I'm going to miss him, said one person on Twitter on Tuesday, adding a sad face emoji at the end. I hate this so much. Yeah. Mario dies tomorrow. I can

really feel the pain. Another speculated. Nintendo fueled the rumors when it put out a reminder to fans last month that the anniversary products were not going to be around much longer, and it said this. Super Mario 3D All-Stars would continue to be available only to those who download it before March 31st, and Super Mario Bros. 35 would not be playable at any time after that date. Yeah, I don't think any of that says Mario's getting killed. You're all a bunch of idiots, and this article's to fill space. Good job. You did it. And now we've wasted time on. Thank you, CNN. Yeah. Well done. I wonder everyone hates CNN. You're stupid. Failing CNN.

I can't believe I agree with him on one thing CNN kind of sucks I mean whatever they all suck all 24 hour news networks and they're associated with the web properties and everything they all suck all of them they're all bad every single one of them they're bad I can't give my brain time thoughts

or anything to any of them they all just are cramming stuff into space trying to freak people out and scare old people sensationalizing correct F off what do you like for your news what's your what's your uh i like bbc news yeah because they're over the over the pond going

hey what are the americans doing today okay you're not going to see uh uh bbc world news saying well the internet has freaking out over the death of maria no mostly not like not that britain isn't known for their their horrible tabloid coverage in other areas but right right BBC news is a decent thing to do. I like NPR news for the same reason. It's boring and straight-taking. It's just like, here's what happened, and they don't try to dress it up

or ram it down your throat 24 hours a day. Boy, there are some anti-BBC sentiments in the chat room. Oh, all right. BBC is a load of shite, says Claire Gack. Well, that's just because she's Irish and they hate everything the British do. But Lennon 8,000 even says, F the BBC. Wow.

Well, Lennonade. What's the deal there? You got John Lennon in your name. Give love a chance. Give love a chance. Life throws you a lennons. You make Lennonade 3,000. Well, anyway, Super Mario's still alive.

You'll have plenty more Mario games to play. And if you bought that collection and you enjoyed it, hey, that's awesome. Galaxy is one of the great Mario games of all time, so I don't blame you for owning it. Yep. I just refuse to do this limited window crap. I'm not playing that game.

And I love Nintendo, dude. If they had said, hey, this collection is just a new collection. Buy it. And it's just a new game and it's a game and it's a collection and you can have it for $30.50. I would have done it. I would have gotten it. I would be playing it probably. Yep.

F off. So lame. All right. Beware the eBay charlatan peddling Taco Bell hot sauce. sauce for $25,000. Wow. All right. Yeah.

This is pretty great. This better be super rare. Yeah. I want super rare hot sauce. Yeah, not just fire or... Teaspoon of it. Yeah. What's the...

Diablo. Yeah, Diablo. Who does El Scorcho? That might be Taco. Not Taco Bell. That thing's Weezer, wasn't it? I think Del Taco. does El Scorcho.

I think that sounds right, yes. Or Del Scorchow? Mm-hmm. Everyone keeps saying Weezer. I swear there's a... There's a Weezer song called El Scorcho. Maybe... Oh, is it Del Scorcho?

Okay. Yeah. I don't know. TVZegon says it is. I believe him. He's a believable guy. That guy. Yeah.

Yeah. I trust that guy. Yeah, he's all right. You'll find all kinds of treasures if you spend time on eBay. That's true. There's lots of weird stuff on there. Uh, an eight pack of Rush Limbaugh's deeply upsetting sweet tea brand, for example. That's a thing.

Uh, but eBay is also rife with scams. Okay, this is a, this is, I know, breaking news, Brian. Yeah. Scammers all over eBay. Uh, as evidenced by the time, uh, this person spent 60 bucks on what, uh, he thought was a hardcover edition of a popular fantasy novel series. Ended up being a, uh, or ended up with a link to a 3,000 page PDF. Oh, I would have been.

fried. Yeah, I think that's just a matter of not reading the details. Maybe. He's not going to give us enough info here, but I would like to know more about his scam. Also, why use this, why use a news platform as a diatribe against a mistake you made? That's a good point. Well, it is the takeaway.com. Or no, the takeout.

So not really like a big news source. How about this? exorbitantly priced Taco Bell hot sauces are the scam du jour, as reported by Eat This, not that, which is a, I don't know what that is source, with eBay sellers peddling the sauce packets for as much as $24,99.99. Though Taco Bell sauce is famously free, the packets are going for wild prices online. Why? Because they are allegedly super rare packets, namely packets printed without the quippy labels. Take, for example, the listing for Taco Bell hot sauce, a blank packet, no

label super rare going for 25 grand the rare instance of a misprint so it's just a misprint it's not even a misprint i don't think it's a misprint because i've had these before and i thought that they just printed up some blank ones that you could sharpie your own funny quippant will you marry me or oh really you're fired or whatever yeah oh maybe that's true i didn't realize i pooped in your taco great that's a good that's that you know i don't think they're because i've gotten them before and i thought Oh, my God, this is rare. And then I looked in the bag and there were two more. Well, it says, let's see, the rare, this is a quote,

rare instance of misprint leaving a Taco Bell packet without a sexy pun as it usually comes with. Limited collectible, get yours here. Found it the fifth time I've ever ate there. If you give me money for it, I'll probably go to Taco Bell more often. I'm hungry. Please feed me. Eat This, Not That. Links to another listing featuring six packets of sauce for 2,500.

that one read i cut it off let me read that that one says that one says condition is new shipped with usPS first class make your wildest dreams come true with these limited edition taco bell hot sauce baggots forget about that shining fates sorry sorry shining for charizard buy these instead so wait i hope you're not going to ask me what a shining fate's charizard is because i have zero idea what the hell that is if i can't catch in polkimo go i have no idea. So I'm looking at the hot sauce listing.

Okay. The one for 25 grand still up. The six packets? Yeah. It's still, it's got 120 watchers. Yeah, and it's funny. It's one packet of hot, three packets of fire, two packets of

Diablo, and all with clips, right? There's nothing. Just the other, hold on, I'm looking at the wrong listing. I'm looking at the there's one. It's funny. Like there's another one for

10 bucks that is 30 packets plus six free fire packets. What? They're all free. It's hilarious that people are, yeah, you walk in there, they're all free. What the hell? Yeah, that's a weird thing. You think NFTs are scammy.

Look at this. $98 for a Taco Bell hot sauce packets rare four pack, hot fire, mild, and Diablo. Yeah. People are spending money on then I I have a card game I'm selling if you're interested in packing it.

What's this one? Taco Bell Error Diablo Hot sauce packet. How do I get to that one? Are they malprinted? Like, uh... I can't, I can't, I'm clicking on it. It's not, uh, doing anything.

I'm going to reload. Relo. I can't believe they do this. Open link a new tab. Maybe that's it. There we go. Uh, so let's see. Taco Bell error Diablo hot sauce packet.

2999 looks like an error when separating but see the picks for yourself I don't know what does that mean I don't know what the error is oh the the tops and bottoms are all shredded here I'm going to give you a link

I'm a little freaked out with how how many listings there are there are hundreds of these there you go I just put a link in our okay yeah it is uh what okay I'm looking at this one um here chat I'll see it too put it up on screen

whoops there it is whoops wrong one nope didn't work why hold on okay waiting free beta load uh yeah there is the old school like 70s packet that one I could see and that's 500 bucks and has actually got like bids and people are interested in it it's like the old school looking thing the white packet probably the kind when you work there. Probably.

Actually, yeah. And that stuff, if you, if you tore them open and then through them through the drive-thru window at cars in the parking lot, sometimes they would take the paint off. That's great. Yeah, just the hot, though, the mild wouldn't. Take that, Del Scorcho. Exactly. Yeah. We used to clean the junk off a penny, I think, is the.

yeah we used to put these under car tires and then when people back up they'd go pop and just splatter all over everything it was great yeah all over the car next to them okay so these these diablo ones you sent me what's the air they're saying is the air with them oh the look at the tops and bottoms they're like shredded coming out of the separator the separator's busted okay well you know what I got I got a I got to be more creative of the shit I sell on eBay. I feel like I'm missing out on stuff. I guess all kinds of dumb stuff I could sell on eBay. Why am I not part of this wagon? Let's get on it. Let's get on the scam wagon and start selling our taco sauce. That's a brilliant idea.

Yeah. All right. Well, good job, everyone involved in that. Let's move on to this story here. A brief one about Gordon Ramsey's daughter. Now, Gordon Ramsey, you know, is a famous chef guy, you know, British dude. kitchen and uncharted and what's that nice one he does what's the one nice one he does in his house with his kids and his wife where he just cooks and they make stuff together oh i don't know

that sounds sounds good sounds less angry he doesn't he doesn't call his daughter or his wife a donkey no no he never he's never even raises his voice in there which i thought was really nice that's amazing don't remember the name of it i want to say maybe it's a hulu original or something but it's very good anyway i like his uncharted series where he travels around and and learns how to cook foods and other cultures and stuff. I was hoping he was playing uncharted on stream and he could just... Oh, that'd be even better. Yeah.

Got to get the gold. Got to get into that tomb. How do I get into that stupid tomb, you donkey? Well, Gordon Ramsey's daughter, Tilly, who's 19 now, confirms she prefers her mom's cooking. Ooh, shots fired. That's not going to get you. Yeah.

every time paid college that's right gordon ramsie's 19 year old daughter matilda ramsie may have a celebrity chef as her father but doesn't really it doesn't mean she likes to cook with him or eat with his food the younger ramsie is doubling down on her opinion uh in a funny new ticot video confirmed that she does not prefer one parent's cooking over the others spoiler alert she hasn't she hasn't had a change of heart what i thought the whole point was she likes her moms well anyway yeah so did i read that wrong the younger ranzzi confirmed that she does prefer. Oh, does? I read it doesn't. All right. Yeah. Oops.

She posted this on Friday, offering her take on the social media platform featuring Clara's song Got Me Good, or Ciara, not Clara, Sierra. I don't know who that is. Some pop lady. Her video includes a soundbite of a repetitious cheer that begins slowly and eventually transition to an upbeat tempo. I don't know why any of that matters, but that's fine. She just, she does a dance behind her dad cooking the slow, sad dance, and then a big happy dance when her mom's cooking. That's rude, man. Oh, TikTok.

TikTok. What are you going to do? Everyone speaks in rhymes and mimes and memes and moans. All right. We're going to take that news. We're going to take it to heart. We're going to mull it over in our hearts and think about it a long time while we take a break because taking a break is what we do. We like to play music.

and we're doing that all before Justin gets here where we will discuss some political stuff. Specifically, the plight of Matt Gates, representative from Florida, Matt Gates, who is currently embroiled in eight masses. All the problems that poor Matt Gates is seeing right now.

Yeah, it's a real bummer for a guy who sure likes to dish it out, but he's going to have a hard time taking this. Anyway, we're on that coming up. Before that, though, a song selection from Brian's vast library, Brian, take it away. Yes. let's go to Barcelona

Barcelona for a band called Pale Moon This is This is such a cool Echoey, bluesy song I don't know what to compare it to But it sounds It sounds like a

You know Like a pop song you'd hear on the radio It's Pale Moon Is the name of the band They are from Barcelona, Spain Now I'll say this. Oh, they're from,

apparently spent three years in Iceland, the two people who make up the bands. Oh, well, they're basically Bjork then. They're Bjork now. They are. Well, one of them's name is Amy Gjodgianson. Gordyonson. He's part of the group of monsters and men.

So there is a pop connection here. Oh, all right. Natalie and Natalia Sushenko was born in Siberian, part of Russia, moved to Barcelona and received training the fashion industry. So she, so it's an interesting. combination of these two, neither of whom are from Bartholona, but who are from Iceland and Russia.

Nice. So as you're listening to this, and it's talking about this dusty road, about two-thirds of the way through the song, I'm preparing people for what is an unusual part of the song. The lead singer

lets out this kind of guttural sound that sounds like a semi-passing by, like a I'm not exaggerating. But it kind of adds to it, and I kind of appreciate it. But be prepared for it because it does throw you off. It threw me off the first time I heard it.

I love the song, but that threw me off the first time I heard it. Anyway, here is the band Pale Moon, the song from the single, Dusty Road. the steps following into dark for so long so long we were alone when I closed heavy eyes I thought I knew the past middle of the night in the stars No one could tell how we got to know this. No one could tell how we got to know. Feelings that we've taken, steps that we want making.

place On the small dusty road Surrounded by the fore How many days ago Did we start Endless hours Time doesn't go so fast Promises and the dreams disappear

No one could tell How we got to know this No one could tell How we got to know Feelings that we take in Steps that we won't make in Do you make me hate things So far

We went too far away We went too deep into the trouble once again No one could tell How we got to know this could tell how we got to know feelings that we've taken stuff that we want

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That's such a great deal. That's E-X-R-E-S-V-P-N.com slash T-M-S. Go to expressvPN.com slash T-M-S. And learn more. Do it today. No ketchup, no burger, no cheese. All we could joke about was say, where's the beef? Take this.

It's for you. It's food The morning stream My bumhole hurts And we're back We've arrived back That is a pale moon in the song Dusty Road I mean, is it the only time she does it in the song?

Yeah, only one time she does it. It's kind of like the bridge, right? She's done the, it's like verse, chorus, verse, and then chorus, and then there's the bridge, like the long instrumental bridge. And then she goes, does that right before they go into the final chorus. Really weird. Yeah. What a weird thing. All right.

That's okay, though. We like experimental weird things. We do. Yeah. It's cool. Actually, I like it. Definitely one of those. All right.

Justin Robert Young joining us. here shortly from his new home. He's now a Texan, a full-blown Texan, which is pretty cool. Full-blown Texan. So he was wearing the 10-gallon hat, I'm sure. Yep. Right? He's got shit kickers on. That's what we used to call him, those boots.

Look at this shapeless white void that he's... Oh, weird. I better play his intro. Hold on. These are their stories. Oh, yeah. Look at this. Oh, I'm terrible with name. This looks like a man who's still setting his shit up. It's Justin Robert Young.

everybody. Hi, Justin. Jesus, burying me. I mean, like the first two things. Oh, look like shit. Wow, I'm so sorry. So sorry, I didn't get all gussied up and have everything in 4K. Look, you've got, you haven't been there very long. I'm surprised that you've got it all together. I think it's fantastic. I'd like it. I would have led with that instead of, But that looks like shit. I just said it was an empty room. I didn't say anything about looking like shit. No, you said it was a shapeless void.

Okay, shapeless void, yes. Okay, you go, you go walk to your wife and call her a shapeless void and see how it goes. I was referring to the room just in. All right. Certainly not a shapeless white void. I'm just saying, no, I'm too tan to be a white void. That's true. My kids all commented on a photo you put up on Instagram when you got there and you were

smiling and in particular it was really showing off your rad kind of silver lock stuff you got going on with your cold air and they all think that I should somehow try to obtain hair like that and I explained to them I don't think it works that way I think you just get the hair you're you should do your hair like mine yeah like I should somehow have it be that thick luxurious and a perfect combination of black and silver I don't think I don't think it's just a matter of going to the salon and saying give me the Justin. Yeah.

And then you walk out looking. I would be, I would, I would pay money to, to see the result, though. Oh, yeah. I would be very excited.

That's easily done with Photoshop. Yeah. Photoshop. No, no, no, no, no. I want the real. I want, I want the real. I wouldn't pay money for the Photoshop.

I'd like the photo in a Photoshop. I would pay money if Scott went to a salon and said, this guy. Yeah. Hold up a picture of you. Make this happen. I just don't think I have the, I don't have the body for it.

The hair is too. Whispy and thin. It's garbage hair. I have bad hair. So, can I see the hair? Right now, it's purple and it's, it's long. I got the length. It's pulled back, but I got some decent length, but it's made of like paper. It's terrible my hair. I hate it. I hate my hair. So anyway, the point is my kids also apparently hate my hair and thought yours looked cooler was the was the takeaway. I feel like you could do it. Yeah. You could do it. Yeah. All right. I'll go in there. I'll say, look, give me your Best, George...

Give me this one. What was his name? Who was the guy who was tan all the time? George Papard. No, George Hamilton. George Hamilton. George Harrison, I think.

Yeah, that's exactly. George of the jungle, I mean. George of the jungle. George H.W. Bush. Yeah, that's the guy. Well, all right. Hey, it's good to see it. I'm glad you made it.

And it seems like all has gone pretty well. You're all, you're getting settled and things are good. Just as a quick check. Yeah, there's a lot to go through, but I literally was, I just got back. I had a decision on whether or not I was going to set up anything cool behind me or work on my recording booth, because this is going to be my office that will be fairly exclusively for audio recording. So I'm building an audio booth in here. Wow.

In future times, I have another set that is next door. That'll be all my video stuff. And that's where I'll do. Separate rooms for that. Look at that. Well, I, I, because they're really, they're really separate. Like, and number one, like, when I edit,

I don't necessarily want to be editing on a video set. Right. And when I'm on a video set, I don't want to be worrying about screwing up all my slider presets for my audio and everything. And when we were, when everything was kind of by necessity in one, then that had to be the truth.

But now, it does not yeah you've got the space use it that's a great idea that's great i'm stoked for you and so yeah i was i was mostly just running rummaging through my my cables to try and find a monitor inside the uh for inside the recording booth so i can watch the waveforms come in while i'm recording in the booth so have you since since moving there have you had any kind of like overwhelming feeling of I need to go buy like a stack of guns or secede from the union

or anything like that. Have you had any of those feelings since you've been there? I was joking with my wife Ashley that she can't trust me to buy furniture because now this is like her first like big house that she's like decorated. Right. Right. So

she has put her stamp on the idea that like I can't like I was like oh I'm going to go buy chairs for the outside which is by my domain, right? Like, that's, that's where I'm going to spend time and, and that's fine. And she was like, well, I don't know if I could trust it. And I'm like, what do you think's going to happen? Like, I'm going to come back and be like, sweetheart, I got the perfect outdoor furniture. It's two piles of guns. And here's the best thing. You might think it's not all that comfortable, but I swear

you'll get used to it. And when we need guns, there'll just be two piles of them back there. And we can just pick one up and put it back when we're done with it perfect you're thinking ahead that's well that's what i like uh i have one final question on the logistical one about the move how did you yeah did the birds just go in the car like how do you do that no no okay how'd you do the uh it was uh a real a real crazy logistical thing so actually had to be in l a thing last Tuesday. And so the reason why I wasn't on TMS last Tuesday

was because I was packing up the car so we could drive to L.A. And that for me was the first the first big part of the journey. So I drove to L.A.

Ashley had to be in L.A. for an appointment. She then flies back from L.A. to San Francisco. Okay. And then I drove the rest of the way to Austin. And she then flew with the birds

to Austin. And that was our final departure from... Oh, gotcha. Okay. So you rode, you rode lifed it alone. You were just out there on the lonesome road yourself. Yep. Wow. Through, uh, the bad lands of California, the deserts

of Arizona, the more deserts of New Mexico. and then, boy, howdy, the expanse of West Texas. Wow. All right. Well, it's good, y'all. You got there in one place. And all during this time, we watched the potential career of a rising star on the far right,

the Republican representative from Florida, your old home state, Matt Gates, starting to unfold for him, fall apart like a broken transformer. We should talk about that dude for a minute and kind of get the skinny on what's actually going on. because it can be a little confusing. He seems to be waging his own sort of Trump-based defense thing. He's got his playbook a little bit. Let's even separate Trump out of it because he seeps into enough that we don't. This does not need it. Trust me.

He carries enough. This is enough of a thing. And also, it is bizarre. Like, regardless of whether or not Matt Gates is guilty of the crimes. for which some of the reporting insinuates, there is some weird stuff afoot. And this is part of it. Matt Gates is apparently under investigation,

after a report from the New York Times by the Department of Justice for having sex with a 17-year-old and paying her to fly on an airplane from wherever she lives to Maitland, Florida, where a drug-fueled orgy happened. And that's technically trafficking. That's where the trafficking part comes from. That is sex trafficking. Because you are bringing somebody from an underage person from one state to another state.

So it's not sex trafficking in that Matt Gates threw a bag over her head and tossed her in the back of a semi-truck or something like that. sure. But it is... That jury's still out on that one. We don't know. Well, let me say to all this. We have no idea, right? What we have right now is a New York Times report about the Department of Justice.

And then we have what Matt Gates has said. Matt Gates says that not only has he never had sex with a 17-year-old, and he certainly never traveled with one with the, with the idea being or paid one to travel with the idea being that he would have sex with them. But also this entire thing is a blackmail extortion effort by a lawyer who is saying to him and his father, who's a rich Florida Republican donor, that they can make this all go away if the lawyer were only to be paid by the Gates family, $25 million. Well, if that was true, that genie's out of the bottle, though.

There's no, there's no, this is now like a federal investigation, so you don't, you don't suddenly go, oh, hold on, guys, hold on, I'll accept their $25 million so we can drop this. That doesn't work that way. Oh, no, no, no, no. So the Gates talking about this was them saying, look, the only reason why the New York Times story came out, is because we are working with the FBI

to prove that this is a blackmail thing. Oh, brother. Sure he is. And also, to make it even more confusing, there are actual documents saying that they want $25 million from this lawyer because the lawyer wants to free a Iranian hostage and part of the $25 million blackmail was

not only will we make this thing go away, but also your son can be on the plane when the Iranian, the American who's being held hostage in Iran comes back. You can be the hero. Matt Gates can be the hero on this. Well, okay, but then the one thing we haven't talked about yet, which I found to be the most hilarious about all of this was,

well, two things. One, he announces. And by the way, what does point out correctly, that the hostage was declared dead last year, but the lawyer says that there are proof of life videos. So just to add yet another... Wow.

Yet another layer onto all this. The guy involved in the extortion attempt that is there to deflect and bury the idea that Matt Gates is under investigation for sex trafficking may in fact be dead. The mini series is going to be incredible. I can't wait until

this gets option to freaking HBO Max or whoever and they tell their story. Who's going to be, who's going to play Tucker Carlson? Well, see, okay. I want to see the recreation of that internet. Those are my two favorite things about the story. That's number one, him going on Tucker Carlson to deny all of this. And then, and then hoping in solidarity, do you say, well, I'm not the only one on camera right now that's been accused falsely of whatever.

And Carlson's like, no, and don't get to do that on here. The hell are you talking about my guy? And then he did it again and was like, hey, me and my lady friend and, you. you and your wife, uh, uh, went out to dinner. And now they're leaning on, uh, her with the FBI and, and, Dr. Carlson's like, the hell, dude. Like, what, I don't remember this dinner. Like, get the hell out of here. So that was really good. I also like that on Twitter, he outs his dad saying that he where he's wearing a wire, which is never, if there's an ongoing investigation where a wire is needed, you don't tell everybody that somebody's wearing a wire. No, no, no, no. That's, so that's

about the blackmail thing. Oh. So they're saying that he wore a wire, his dad wore a wire to prove that the blackmail thing was happening. Oh. So it's not like he's wearing the wire. But even then, I don't think you're allowed to like, if it's part of an investigation, a federal investigation, I don't think you're allowed to just like spout that shit off,

are you? I mean, or are you? I don't know. I mean, what part of this do you think is being done by the book? The part where the Department of Justice investigation is being leaked to the the New York Times or the part on Twitter where he's saying that he wore a wire and another investigation about the blackmail into the second investigation. Well, here's what I know for sure in my heart.

I don't have the evidence, but I am 100% sure that he did whatever dirty thing they think he did. My question is, so then what? Like, does he, do you think he ends up resigning? Like, let's just be getting prediction land here. Does he resign? Does he force to resign? is you get thrown in jail for this?

Is there a trial? Does someone pay $25 million and it's all swept under the rug? Like, I don't know where it goes from here. Nobody's paying $25 million to have it swept under the rug now, right? Yeah. What you want to watch for is how the GOP treats it. Because they likely know more than we do. He is, the GOP is currently in a.

Civil War where you have what I have termed the the ye old and yeha wings of the of the

Republican Party the the ye old side hates Matt Gates who by the way randomly and again

he is a congressman from a Republican safe district in the panhandle of Florida

okay the part of Florida that touches I believe Alabama he is about

as far away from Wyoming politics as you can get. And yet, he flew out to lead a protest against Liz Cheney another Republican, like two months ago. Yeah. He is a, you know, he's one of those, the most dangerous place in Washington is between Matt Gates and a camera kind of people. Yeah. But he is, you know, you want to watch what other kind of maga, you know, you want to watch what other kind of maga folks inside the Republican Party how they're treating him and

I don't know if this is true it seemed to be Twitter scuttle but yesterday that Marjorie Taylor Green again another press let's say euphemistically press friendly a member of the Republican Party that she had deleted stuff with Matt Gates offer Twitter and then today offered a

defense of Matt Gates so what I would do is watch that but he does not seem like somebody. Matt Gates does that will resign. No, not to me either. I really, the reason I brought up the Trump thing earlier is I didn't, I don't want to make any direct comparisons

or any involvement related stuff. All I mean is kind of to your point just now, he's using that playbook a little bit that don't back down, that don't never admit you're wrong, never don't, don't ever do like Al Franken and just freaking pull out

like you got. So the Andrew Cuomo. Yeah, basically the Andrew Cuomo. Like there is a, there's a certain playbook that feels very Trumpy that even, even some on the left like Andrew Cuomo uses to not. The Gavin News. I'm just saying, update it because Trump isn't here anymore. Yeah, that's a good point. And Trump didn't invent this. It's not like, you know, Bill Clinton, it wasn't the Bill Clinton defense and he did the exact same thing.

That's a really good point. Yeah. I guess it's not really a Trump thing. They all, they either stay with it or they quit. So you either, you either Nixon out of there. or you Al Franken out of there or you... Well, and also it's like

nobody leaves unless they're forced to leave. Right. Like nobody is like, well, the heat's too hot for me. I'm going to see my way out. See you later. No one Irish goodbyes from public office.

Like, you know, you only leave when it has become untenable for you to stay. Right. And for now, uh, A, the only thing that matters to

a representative is whether or not they can maintain the faith of their party and win re-election. I guess in Gates' case, stay out of jail, would also be on that list. It is, it is important to say that he has not been charged with anything. Yeah. What the rumor going around is that not only is he under investigation, but there is a impaneled grand jury for which. the 17-year-old in question has testified that he traveled her across state lines,

paid her, and had sex with her. Oh, man. And if that's the case. But then again, that was also in the blackmail letter. So we don't know whether or not that's true or whether or not that's something that was written to get the father to spend $25 million. Right. Is this the same?

You know what? I'm thinking of a whole different story. there was a thing back in the summer where Matt Gates was being accused or not accused but was living with some 20 year old like Cuban kid and just says he's his son now

but isn't legally like adopted or something there was a whole weird thing with that I'm not saying these things you're connected but Matt Gates is kind of known for this like weird ass Nestor Nestor yeah yeah and that was something where it's like I think it was like Katie Herzog

whose politics could not be more diametrically opposed to Matt Gates like said that I think it was Katie Herzog was saying that she I mean it's not hers like anyway somebody else I think it was from the useful idiots podcast was saying that like Nestor is somebody that's like in their family but I don't know enough about that yeah okay but that was that was Matt Matt Gates

People are also pointing out that amongst all of this, you've started to get a lot of these other Matt Gates stories come out that show that he's a bit of a scuzzy creepo, including the fact that he and other Republican state legislature members had a very frat boy who could sleep with the most people points game that assigned points out. Oh, right. Right. And he'd show the photos on his phone that he'd

that he'd taken. Yeah. You can see this, by the way, by looking at his face. So I realize that's not an evidence-evidence-based claim, but I can just see looking at him that he had a points-based. How many people did I sleep with game? And he apparently showed pictures of sexual conquest to other elected representatives,

including one woman who is naked with a hula-hooh. Oh, that's what, well, it's a great combo, if you think about it. That is, that is, that is, that is, that is some of the, now again, that has no material effect on his legal situation. No. But it is that these are all stories that come out when that is, when that is the conversation. I see people in the chat asking about the girl, let me say for just now, journalistically, we don't know whether or not the girl exists. Yeah. We might assume she exists.

She might very well exist. But right now she is Trotinger's 17 year old. She both exists and doesn't exist in this one moment. We have no idea whether or not she is there or not. She might. Very well might. Very well might not. I think there's a real possibility he maybe didn't.

This is, I don't want this to ever sound apologetic toward Matt Gates. I think he said sleaze bag. But there's a possibility that he didn't know the girl he was paying to have moved over states to then sleep with him because it's part of whatever game he's playing. He may know I've known she was 17. He may have thought she was 18. He may have thought a lot of things. But none of this matters until discovery kicks in, right?

And it sounds like it already, you know, they're underway. If they've got to- We don't know. We don't know anything. All we know is that there is a report that the Department of Justice is investigating. The blackmail letter and other rumors say that there is already a grand jury there's already a grand jury impaneled and that that grand jury is

hearing testimony from people that are directly involved and specifically the guy who got him into all this is a tax collector, an elected tax collector in Florida and apparently he, who is definitely in hot water, he is diming out to the feds about what Matt Gates did. okay so so that is I mean again we don't know a lot now yeah but but that is that is what we know well as usual I even though I prefaced it and made sure I said it the way I mean to say it the

chat room is still saying they're still mad that I said that and saying it doesn't matter what he thought no I know that it doesn't matter whether he knew she was 17 or not I get it I totally get it. What I'm saying is... I'm going to repeat again. We don't know if she exists. We actually don't know anything. So all of this is hyperbole. Here's what I know only, and again, without any evidence. I guarantee he's up to something skeezy. So let's get to the evidence bit. Like, I don't know when all this starts to happen, but let's get to it and get him out of there. So be done. Send Matt Gates packing, hopefully to a jail sale. It's fine with me. Go away. He's the biggest troll in the history of ever. And I'm sick of the deal. I mean, I mean, I

mean like if he's guilty right right like if he did it yeah if i did it he'll write a book yeah he'll write a write a book i mean well to be to be fair i think that's that's sometimes where we get in in these situations where uh you know obviously we politically disagree on on certain things and then stuff comes up and and you see the zeal of of like well like got it ram it through and it's like all right if we're talking about stuff like life in prison you should probably double check yeah no it deserves the it needs the process do the due due diligence across the board in fact more than ever has to be airtight do all of that but then if at the end of it you go yeah Matt

Gates did all these things then ram him through then stick him ram him through and let his new roommate ram it through to like let it be whatever it needs to be let his new life in prison be what it's going to be you're going to try to you make him shan out of freaking toothbrushes. Good luck to your future there, Matt Gates. Whatever you got to do. But yes, you're right. Do diligence this thing down to the final period and slashed tea. Right? Get it done. Get it right. And then get him out. I mean, I think, yeah, look, if there is, if indeed Schrodinger 17 year old is real. Yeah. And she is saying that Matt Gates had sex with her and traveled her across state

lines. That's a rap for, for, uh, that, that's, that's a rap on map. Like, you can't really do more than having the first person witness. It's not, you know, like, especially if she has pictures or videos, uh, and, and videos were insinuated in that blackmail letter. So if, if that stuff is real, then he, that's, that's going to be a problem. That's going to be a problem. That's going to be a problem how uh unique would it be because i know that somebody somewhere is going to write in and go oh you've forgotten about the story of 1815's uh william bigelsworth who was uh found to be philandering but was was arrested fork with on the floor of the senate or something like that i'm going to find out that this is nothing new but how new is it would this be an unprecedented moment

how how new is having sex with a 17 year old being detrimental to somebody's life and career no no no that's not what I mean. I'm saying, no, I'm asking how, is there any precedent for this ever happening before with a sitting congressman and then if it goes that far to where he is, you know, removed, arrested and jailed or whatever, how, I mean, there are other examples of that that I just don't know about? Like, I don't know. Like I'm saying, like something from the 1800s. There's some blustery old fart used to really rile things up in the Congress and then someone found out he was putting his wiener in his goat's mouth or something like that. And then he's out of there. Like what other comparison story do I have? Or are there any? There may not be, is my point, right? What are you asking me for? You're asking me for a historical comp of sexual deviant. Yes, it's like if a president, okay, I'll give you a better example so you can understand. If a president resigned today, I would say, oh, well, the only other example we have of that is Nixon, and here are the differences. Is there any other example of what Matt Gates is or might be that we can point to and say, well, in this case, it was this, and he was fired and then put in jail.

Like, do we have anything close to this situation if it goes? I mean, we have certainly had Congress people that have been under federal investigation. We've had Congress people run for Congress from jail. I think Jim Trafficant won from jail, if I remember correctly. So, you know, there certainly have been those. there. I don't know specifically about sex crap. You know, the old adage in

political scandals is, you know, the two fastest ways to end a career is a dead girl or a live boy, which I don't even know if that's appropriate to say in 2021, but at an era where gay scandals were a you know, a multiplier

on a regular scandal. That was where the idiom came from. So an underage girl you know pretty much that that is close enough in in horseshoes hand grenades and sex scandals to to a a dead girl or a live boy in my opinion. Wow. All right.

Well, uh, I hope we get more news on this soon so he can just get it get out of there. It's all I'm saying. Whatever happens. I would say don't like the weirdest thing about this story is that we might never ever hear anything else about it. Right. Oh, really? Like because, well, because.

because there's no actual mechanism right now. Yeah. We know that the Department of Justice is, the Department of Justice is investigating. They, the Department of Justice investigates a lot. A lot of things just go away. And that's that. Like, so, uh, we don't know. There's a likelihood that we just never hear anything else.

And then Matt Gates just shows back up on, on Tucker Carlson in three weeks and is talking about whatever, how AOC wore her hair that day, whatever they talk about. Yeah, you're right. I mean, it could just as easily disappear. But I don't know. Also, her being, I assume she's still 17, this person, we don't know who it is or if she exists yet.

But if she does, and I have no reason to think she doesn't, you go through all sorts of hoops to protect her identity. And, you know, there's not, you know, there's no, there's no way we ever find out who that is unless that person really wants to be known, which is possible, too. They may want to be. I think we're probably going to, you know, we'll probably, like that'll probably be. It'll probably happen, but we do. I don't think a story that that is this crazy has things, whether or not it's for the best, whether or not that, that's a secret. But, uh, again, we don't know.

yeah well we have we have no clue we have we have no clue what's real we have no clue uh so far everybody has denied everything the lawyer that wrote the letter denies that he wrote the letter mac gait says he never did any of this uh so we don't know booty grass blue blue bludy grass in the chat says Dennis Hastert's deal maybe the closest comparison he had sex with a minor and was

thrown in jail but wasn't he that was after he had been in Congress right or he wasn't serving at the time I don't know yeah I'm not I don't remember I am not in in in yeah I don't I don't I don't know man I don't know

you know you know again If you want to watch this develop, watch what the MAGA folks do, because it has surprised me that they have not come out in force to defend Matt Gates. And if they've not come out in divorce to defend Matt Gates, then that makes me more lend more credence to the fact that these things are correct. Or that this is actually a situation where nobody knows. Right. I thought it was just because he was so unlike. be a thing, you know, like, it's just how, how do you, like, if you're a, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're, even your most ardent, politically aligned people that you work with and they just are annoyed by you, which is what sounds like the general is that nobody really likes being around the guy. Like, I don't know why much of them would come rushing to his defense. Like, they're just going to let it play out. They're well, because because you, because you, you, in general, the, the mega folks can, they race to that, to their defense because that's part of the large. So, because that's part of the large. Because that's part of the large. narrative yeah right like like the larger narrative is that the media comes for you and you have to stand up to the media and that was like uh uh you know a marge greens tweet today was like not a single woman has come out in in uh claimed anything against matt gates uh meanwhile like here

all the women that have come forward for quomo and and we lost count with clinton and mapapa right? Like, you know, that's the line I would expect them to use. But who knows? Who knows? Well, we'll have to tune in and see how this develops. Enjoy. I think that's it. Hey, so now that you're all back and settled, what's hot on the docket these days? What do you want people checking out? Just the politics podcast. The live streams will be back next week. I'm going to take this week to actually try and build and tech out the studio. If I tried to stream this week, it would either just be me sitting on my phone or trying to live stream with a half-built studio, which is only a recipe for me to do tech support via chat room, which is my least thing. I like the least on the planet. So, yeah, I'm building up, but we will be back to some kind of schedule next week. All right. First thing to hook up is the microphone arm. Usually your arm doesn't get tired. You won't be all sleeping with the statement.

Well, yeah, I mean, but I'm not even going to use this here. I think next Tuesday I'll be on the other set. You'll be in the video room. Gotcha. I really only plug this in for, for audio start his next top podcast. podcaster last night than this thing today. Just for you guys. Well, we appreciate that.

We do, man. Yeah. Well, look, but I'll let you know how my hair experiment goes, and we wish you nothing, but wind to your back. We'll see you later. All right. The jury can now retire. Wait.

The jury will now retire. All right. There you go. I remember to freaking do it for once. Speaking of for once, we're done on time. We're actually done on time today. We're done for once. Yeah.

We actually hit our clock pretty well today. we're going to get out of here. A reminder, though, to the fine folks at home that this show subsists and exists on your good graces. You. You! That's right. Patreon.com slash TMS is where you can do that. It's still kind of a new-y, freshy month.

So time is ripe to hop in there and take part in all the cool benefits you get for being a supporter of the show. Patreon.com slash TMS. For everything else, go to frogpans.com slash TMS. That's for requesting songs on the show. trying to email us and contact us all that stuff is there trying to find our twitter accounts our reddit page everything is over there so go check it out frogpants dot com slash t ms all right bryan i think that's it uh i guess you'll do a song now you have a song i'll do a song yeah i feel like okay i don't have a request for today again just a little nudge if you've got a birthday or an anniversary

this month i don't know why march was so loaded uh stuff every day but april is uh you know, it's like you say, eh, April, nothing happens in April. Well, you know what does happen in April? When I don't have requests, I look at birthdays. And you know who's having a birthday today is Francis Black, aka Frank Black, lead singer, one of the lead singers of the band, The Pixies. So I am going to play a brand new track.

This is really cool. So a brand new album came out from 4 AD Records. It's streaming right now. You can pre-order the vinyl, pre-order the CD, but it's called Bills and Akes and Blues, 40 years of 480 records. So they've got a bunch of their current artists doing covers of their old artists or doing other covers of other artists. This is Takeda, TK Madesa, and a brilliant cover of the Pixies, Where Is My Mind? This is awesome. Here is TK.

Madesa. Fantastic. We'll be back tomorrow for another show. It'll be Wednesday. recommendals with Nicole and I don't think she's not here for no dumb reason like I did last week. Con will be here, all that fun stuff. So tune in tomorrow and find out what we watched because I have a weird documentary to talk about. Yeah, I have two weird movies that might, that could trigger people with different things. Oh, all right. I'm in. I'm in. I'm in. I like a bit of,

not controversial. Triggery. Yeah. I like a little bit of, you know, oh, We got to make us think, got to make us talk. Ooh. Yes, exactly. Both good movies, but if you're in one of these two groups, you probably don't want to watch. Oh, good. We'll have all sorts of disclaimers. So if you're diced tomato, you won't like it.

All right, that's what we're saying. All right, that's going to do it for us. Thank you all for watching, for listening, for being here. We can't wait to see you again. We'll see you then. Stop. With your feet on your head, my head, my, and my, man, and my, and my, and my, and my, and my, and my, and my, with your feet on the air and your head on the ground.

Try to strip and spin it. Yeah Your hair will collapse But there's nothing in it And you ask yourself Where's my mind Where's my mind Where is my mind

Where is my mind Where's my mind? Where's my mind? Where are you? In the water I see it swimming I was swimming I was swimming

animals animals are hiding behind behind the rock Except the little fish But they told me he swears trying to talk to me core Where is my wine Where is my mind Where is my mind

Where is my wine Where is my wine Where is my wine Where is my out In the water I see it swimming With your feet under air And your head on the ground

Try to strip And spin it Yeah Yeah Yeah My Wets My Wants My Wats My Wins My Wins My Wins My Wins

Yeah My Wits My Wins My Wins My Wins My Wits My Wins My Wins My Wins My Wits My Wens This is my, my, my, my, This show is part of the Frog Pants Network. Frog Pants Network. Get more shows like this at frogpants.com.

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