The Morning Stream - TMS 2097: That Indian Restaurant is a Naan starter

Episode Date: April 13, 2021

Coffee Porn Music. How Will I Ever Learn How Babby Is Formed? A Glory Hole Silo. I like to cup testeeeeees. Pretty ballsy grabbing the tiger like that. Always Castrate your Children's Toys. Why do the holes match up with the eyes. Corn Nut Pioneers. Frogpants Doodle-a-day. What's Third Eagle up to these days. You know he's got talent. Dude, where's my ambulance? Buckets of Apocalyptic food. Milking this Phoenix for all it's worth. How is Jamie's Sausage Made and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode of the morning stream is brought to you by Blue Chew. We've got a special deal for our listeners. Try Blue Chew free when you use our promo code TMS at checkout. Just pay $5 shipping. That's bluechew.com promo code TMS to receive your first month free. Coming up on TMS, coffee porn music. How will I ever learn how Babi is formed? A glory hole silo.

I got this one. I like two cup testes. You heard him say it. It wasn't me. Pretty balzy grabbing the tiger like that. Always castrate your children's toys. Why do the holes match up with the eyes? Cornut pioneers.

Frog pants doodle a day. What's third eagle up to these days? You know he's got talent. Dude, where's my ambulance? Buckets of apocalyptic food. Milking this phoenix for all it's worth. How is Jamie's sausage made and more on this episode of The Morning Stream? By dawn, the god of destruction will be unleashed.

I guess this means we can forget about using the. elevator. Maybe not. Tom left a message. He wrote it on the floor in his own blood. In his blood? Way to go, kid. They seem to be humanoid with the characteristics of bees. Good morning, everybody, and welcome back to TMS. It's the morning stream for Tuesday, April 13th, 2021. Scott Johnson here and Brian Ibbett over there. Way over there. On the other side of the mountains that are covered with snow right now.

In the 1800s, you'd be like, it'd take you a month to get to me back in the old times. You'd have to get a couple of horses, a couple of stout horses. that's right plenty of salted beef a couple of men with shotguns and then you'd still lose a couple packs of uh david sunflower seeds yeah yeah like the old pioneers used the old david sunflower seed package of corn nuts yeah and uh then we and then maybe you might lose 20 to 30 percent of your men on your way they would die on the way and then and then you'd come see me those were the days those were the good old times oh good old days yes but not today we have modern internet and Here's Brian and I talking. Don't have to cross those mountains. We do it with one and zeros. That's exactly right. It's good to see you all. Thank you all for being here. It's Tuesday. We got stuff.

Jury is a no show today. Not going to be here. So if you were like pining for some really hardcore political business, I have some bad news for you and yours. That's not happening. Yeah, sorry. Sorry. Not happening. Our political segment is not happening this week. I don't know what's going on. I hope everything's fine. He was very short about why he couldn't be here. And it was very last. minute, but I think everything's probably fine. It's all good. They're busy. They're busy over there punking everybody with their fake cancellation of their show. Are they really? Yeah, they're doing like a weird fake cancel of night attack and then relaunching it. And it's just the most jury, shwitty thing I've ever heard. It really is. Yeah. Let's see if we can get this thing to the number one spot on podcast alley. You'll have to give them a hard time about missing an episode of TMS. Yeah, that's right,

because last night he was going on for an hour on AMTP, how he was the only one that didn't miss any of the judges. The only judge that didn't miss an episode. Let me clarify. Yeah, I only missed one. Jenny missed a bunch, but he, you know, everybody had reasons. But he likes that. He's going to die on that hill.

That's fine. Let him. He is. He is. It's totally fine. Anyway, hey, we got a thing I got to talk about. I have some concerns here. Okay.

I went to, okay, so Kim is always on the lookout for something cute for Van because that's her job. It's like, oh, he'll love this. That is grandparents' job for sure. It's what you do. It's what we've learned. And Kim is real good at it. And anyway, as a result, she has always, you know, she's always looking for something he might like at the age he's at. And it turns out he's super into animals of any kind right now, including, you know, dinosaurs and extinct creatures, but also, you know, the living ones.

tigers lions bears oh my all of it sure sure and i'm going to put this in the discord and i'm going to show the chat and i'll try to describe this at home but she bought a bunch of safari like african safari animals uh so you're you know giraffes and some zebras and you know stuff you'd find in that part of the world and he loves them just adores this whole box if any other little kids want to touch him he freaks out it's all mad don't touch my stuff basically he's just real real of you know super protective of them yeah oh yeah and uh okay i'm going to put these in i'll give you two examples because the angle's a little hard to see in the lighting but these are photos i took and you'll get an

idea brian when you see these about what i'm going to talk about here uh so these these tigers and these lions and most of these animals with a couple of exceptions there's a bison and a giraffe i think that don't have this but all of these animals these plastic toys made for children have perfectly anatomic weaners. And chat room, here you go. Here's a shot.

It is like, uh, it is, it's not even like subtle. It is a, a pair of testicles and a penis. Yeah. Yeah, like a real,

legit thing. Now, some of you may say, oh, Scott, you know, all time is a good time to start teaching kids to understand and not, you know,

not be, uh, embarrassed or afraid or you know you teach kids what what their little private areas are and all that you know i get i get it and there's an argument to be made there but really yeah the freaking uh happy time farm animals all have to have freaking yeah i'll be honest semi sort of erect units there they got to do that i mean it is basically it's like the uh bathroom wall drawing of a pair of balls and a penis You know, the three dimension, three dimensionalized. Yeah.

On all these animals. And he doesn't know. He's not even looking, but I couldn't help but notice. I was like holding these things going, oh, all right. Wow. Yeah. Okay. They're going to go ahead and have, have, and they're all boys.

That's the other thing. Even the, even the, so we have a lion that is not the main, you know, it's like a lady lion and it's not has, doesn't have a main or anything. But it's got a unit. So somewhere in China, they're like, he, he, he, he. Just put the penis on everything, basically, is what they said. He, he, he, he. Because that's them laughing, see, they think it's funny when they go, he-h-h-h-ha. So, anyway, I don't know, I don't know what to think about it or maybe care.

Oh, gosh, what is this you just put in the chat? Oh, geez. That is a photo that a tourist took at the Thailand Zoo, which pretty, pretty freaking brave. This woman apparently reached into the cage. and grabbed the, well, cupped. Why would she do that? Why? Why? Why would you do that ever to anything? And that tiger just seems to not give a crap. Look at him.

It really doesn't. She's like, whatever. Everyone touches my junk. Just go ahead, lady. Yeah. All right. Well, I don't know. Just found it confusing. A little bit of weirdness. Also kind of funny. But, yeah, if you ever want to know what to get a two-year-old, Just get him a box of plastic animals, man. Oh, my gosh.

Yeah. Yeah, Tristan, that was his thing. Like, anytime we went to the museum or the zoo, they had these plastic tubes filled with small little toys, way smaller than the ones you have in the photograph, right? And it was like either a tube full of dinosaurs or a safari tube, and it was all those kind of animals. He loved those.

You know, Apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, right? I'm sitting here with a, you know, Marble Girl Action Figure. horrible look on her face. No kidding. But, yeah, that was his, he'd line them all up on the table. He'd have little adventures with them all is really, really cool. Well, I think about it.

I guess these are, these animals who's got are all resin, so they're not printed, per se. They're probably manufactured the traditional mold line. They're stamped, yeah. Or, like, you know, mold kind of thing. There's a little bit of a seam down there. Yeah. Yes, there is. Yeah.

A bit of a seam on the unit there. Yeah, there's a seam, yeah. Yeah. So anyway, I guess, I'm not even saying buyer beware. I'm just saying, sure, let's just put a piece on everything. That's fine. You know, you could even say, oh, is it like just the printing place? Is it the place where they injected the stuff into the mold to make it to be able to create it? And I don't think so. It just feels like somebody having a laugh. Like, he he he. They're saying. Yeah, exactly. They are. I promise you. They're made. So maybe, whether they're having a laugh or not, that's an intentional mold of a male animal genitalia. It is. And not only that, I'm not even sure it's that accurate. That looks like something that'd be on a dude, not an animal. It doesn't look quite a look.

Well, you saw that photo I just posted in the Discord. That's pretty. Yeah, you're not wrong. Now that you say it, you're not wrong. Was there even the slightest thought of saying, you know, let me take an exacto knife to this. and uh and and oh no all that business i hadn't thought about it uh i mean mainly because you know we're not gonna we're never gonna make him there's never going to be a moment where we where we where we demonize anything because that's the worst thing you do to a kid genitalia doesn't exist yeah heaven

forbid yeah you can't can't do that to kids it's bad for him but right uh but my guess is he'll be long bored with these by the time it matters anyway so right exactly he'll be on to something stupid so It doesn't matter. Anyway, all right. Well, we've got that out of my system. I feel better. Good. Don't have to think about animal testicles anymore.

I can move on. To racist taco follow-up. Okay. Brisbane, Australia's own Chris wrote in. Ah, yes. Hi, Chris. Yeah. Hello, Chris.

Your name's not Bruce. He used the email address to the morning stream at gmail.com. And he said this. Hey, guys, nothing major. But we had a restaurant near our place called Turbans and Cowbrons and cowboys, which did Mexican-slash-Indian food cuisine. It was like a fusion restaurant. The food was complete garbage.

It went out of business during COVID, but it did exist. Cheers, Chris. Turbans and cowboys. Yeah. So Indian is an Eastern Indian. And then somehow mixing that with, I guess, text, mex, you know, sounds like, but it was Mexican Indian fusion cuisine. that sounds odd but maybe okay if you did it right i'm trying to think like i mean you're

my brain always goes to curries right so could you do like a curry burrito could you do like some other burrito with some kind of awesome curry on it could you uh i don't know i mean it would have to be boy i mean the uh um the combos would have to be very carefully put together by the way would you like to know some of the items on the turbans and cowboys menu please All right. So they have your best-selling items are garlic non, cheese and spinach non, steamed basmati rice. So people really just said, yeah, screw the whole cowboy thing. Let me get the, just give me the Indian food.

Also, large chicken nachos and something called chicken butter. Chicken butter. Chicken butter. Well, I've heard of butter chicken. That must be what it is. Yeah, maybe that's it. um let's see here vegetarian entree samoses

on non-traditional curries I'm not seeing things that combine the two because there's like yeah that that is it it so it's basically like where's the fusion man we want the fusion here there's no fusion um

there's some corma some madras some vindaloo some masala Vindaloo Vindaloo it's such a fun thing to say it's so fun to say Tandori breads accompaniments

Tica salad, chili, lime pickle, papadams, desserts, Mexican breto. Then we get to, wow, it is really like, yeah, we're basically a food court with two restaurants. It's like the smallest food court ever.

It's like the del taco hamburger. It's just like on there. Right. Yeah. Well, I will say this. The Mexican burritos, right? So they have the fish supreme, the lamb supreme,

pulled pork supreme, beef supreme, et cetera. The description, and coriander rice. Well, I guess that's kind of what you get at Chipotle, right? Because it's the cilantro-lice, cilantro, and coriander, I think, come from the same plant. Pico de galliomide sauce, a mild salsa, and ranch sauce. Habanero. I mean, the fact that they've got lamb burritos,

there's a little bit of a kind of crossover-y deal. Yeah, not enough, I guess. They're not at a business. They're done. Now, even their tacos, two pieces, classic Mexican tacos, Lettuce, ranch, cheese, and pico de gallo. I don't think ranch is very classic Mexican. No, that's just you fooling fellow Australians into thinking the thing.

That isn't true. Yeah. Habanero, Chipotle, tacos, nachos. I'm just seeing if they have one item, just one item that combines the two. I mean, if you're really going to call your restaurant Turbans and Cowboys, if you're going to go that far and make like a freaking racist-ass name for your, or, you know, A somewhat insensitive name for your thing. Go crazy with it.

Like, go nuts. Go crazy with the food. This sounds too conservative to me. Like, they didn't try it. Even, okay, so I came to something called the Angry Indian Burger, which is probably, but they name the people who send them cease and desist. It's a vegetarian patty, lettuce, cheese, tomato, onion, mayo, pickles, tomato relish, guacamole, jalapeno, and hot chili sauce.

There's really nothing here that, I'll be honest. nothing here except for the guacamole that says Mexican or and certainly nothing on there that says Indian. Yeah, I don't think any of that's, I mean, nothing you've mentioned so far is super. I get to the bottom of the menu, there is nothing in this list

that fuses the two. It is really just a would you like Indian or would you like Mexican? Yeah. Oh, this brings up a question I've had for a while. I'm glad you just said, I'm glad you mentioned that it's kind of a limited menu because I have a question about the opposite of that, which is most Chinese restaurants

slash Japanese restaurants I've been to, their menus are enormous. Yeah, like, 80 pages of things you're never going to order. And I'm curious why that, what is that? Like, is that a thing? If I went to Japan, you've been there for some time. Was that true over there? Is that just us over here?

Like, what are we doing? I mean, the place that we go to, Mika sushi, does have a big menu. And, but the problem is, or I don't know if it's a problem, the problem is that they've got, um, on one side of, so like it, you know, opens up. And on one side, you've got a list of maybe eight specialty roles. And then on the right side, they've got photos of all those roles. And then you turn the page and there's like seven more specialty rolls. Like, the reason the Mika sushi is so big is because they've just have so many available rolls, so many different individual pieces of sushi, et cetera. sure um but i think the chinese food menus are almost like a a taco bell situation right because you've got um the same four the same three sauces same three meats yeah yeah except you've got kind of um you've got 12 different ways of preparing stuff uh bamboo shoots or or terriaki this or sesame or mooshu etc but then for each one you've got

each of the different proteins that they can add to it. So it's not just beef with broccoli, it's chicken with broccoli, it's prawns with broccoli, it's, you know, this and that, and tofu with broccoli. Then we go to sesame, well, sesame chicken, sesame beef, sesame pork, sesame fish, sesame shrimp, et cetera. So it's really, it's almost like a, it's like a spreadsheet where you've got the different preparations across the top and the different proteins along the side. And it's basically the, you know, we've got to have an item now on our menu for every square in that spreadsheet. Well, there's a place up the road that we get sushi from sometimes. It's okay. It's not amazing.

It's okay. But they're a combination restaurant owned by a Japanese dude and a Chinese dude. Open it together. And it's a combination of Japanese cuisine, sushi stuff, and a craft. a crap ton of Chinese food. And so this menu needs like a three ring binder. It's so big. It's ridiculous.

Like there's pages and pages of rolls. And then you got pages and pages of Muguay Pan, general sow's chicken, and every other thing that you've ever seen on a Chinese menu, you just boop, boop, bo, bo, bo, and then they got like a hamburger for kids in case they don't want, you know. Of course. Whatever. And it's just this monster of a menu. And I just don't know how they manage it.

It's like a cheesecake factory. it is like that that that's the American equivalent there you go you nailed it yeah so most you know when I go to a restaurant it's like a little card and there's like four things on it it's kind of nice it's like my choices are limited I don't feel like I have choice paralysis here but

when I go to that sushi place I just get tunnel vision and go get the Vegas roll that's what I do every time just get it just focus on the Vegas roll great you need the Cherashi bowl and a roll of some sort and we're calling it good yeah and also a little bowl of that, uh, oh, what do they call it? Cucumber salad, little, uh, oh, yeah, man.

I can't do that as much, though, because there's a lot of sugar in that now. I found out a lot of shug in there. Probably, yeah, because I mean, it's, it's fermented in vinegar and sugar. Yeah, um, we make that stuff a lot with the, uh, the, the Hello Fresh and Blue Apron stuff that comes in, the tasty crate stuff that we have to do usually has. And it's, uh, sweet. It's so, it's much sweet. It's not a sour sort of experience. And I realized that oh i think this has sugar and then i looked it up i'm like this has a lot of sugar i'm not eating yeah anyway well there you have it thank you brisman australia's own chris and thank you

for filling us in on turban and cowboys yeah i wouldn't call it a fusion cuisine restaurant but i do i'd say that they've the only thing that appears to be fused is the menu yeah that they just have the two items on the same menu and your colon when you leave and your colon yeah all right here's uh here's some fun it just makes me hungry for all that stuff Here's something we haven't been able to do for a couple of days. It's the news. And dance by the light of the moon. Today's news brought to you by.

How else you're going to know what the latest and best indie games are in gaming? Listen to The Boop Show weekly on the Frog Pants Network. Yeah, tonight, in fact, 3.30 Mountain Time. So if you want to check that out, you can. Okay. Let's see here. Where are we? Oh, Yahoo Answers.

Speaking of, you know, Turbans and Cowboys may be gone, but so is something else, or it's about to. You remember the bastion of internet confusion? Yes. The Yahoo Answers, well, it's shutting down. Yep, going away. How will I ever learn how is Babi formed? I forgot about that until you just said it. That's great.

Yeah, Yahoo Answers was a good idea that just never worked. why what it? You're asking the internet to give serious answers and that often doesn't happen unless you have some kind of curation and they really didn't have anybody moderating it. And it just was a big pile of misinformation. As opposed to say Wikipedia, which is also open source and open community, but it's got this like really stringent set of rules and a whole bunch of mods that have been there forever and nobody, you know, nobody wants to let poopie in there. Yahoo! No, it's very well policed, very well self-maintained. Yeah. Even when something goes awry gets fixed pretty quick over there but yeah yahoo answers uh is gone uh at times people

asking questions of strangers lunged or sorry lunged for the hallucinatory limits of human curiosity what would a heaven of el what would heaven for elephants be like for example or should scientists give octopi bones these are some of the hard-hitting ones that we got over there um anyway here's another one it helped it helped people identify their sense of of self why do people with baguettes think they are better than me was a question uh is being popular in high school a good skill i can use for a job interview i love that one the answer's no by the way yeah uh that kind of scott answers dot com but you should if you're uh someone with a baguette you should definitely use that in the job interview yeah oh yeah yeah walk in there

that thing sticking out of a bag yes they'll know tell know who's in church of the trope of i have groceries. See, there's a baggett sticking out of the top of my grocery bag. He has groceries. Give this man the job. That's right. And something leafy hanging out the side. That's right. That's the stereotype we're looking for. There was one, I think John Oliver was showing like a montage of great questions on Yahoo answers. And one of them was, how do I keep my penis from farting? Cut it off and never look at it again. Yeah, exactly. see a doctor a la caps is the answer to that one wow um all right here's one uh smoke coming from my belly button question mark it's not even a question no it really isn't it's a bad question

if it is one and then this one is a really good one why is everything at my grandma's house moist oh get out of your grandma's house it's a really disturbing and good question how about uh what does a hug feel like that's interesting. That's kind of deep. Yeah. There's really no way to answer that. It feels like a hug. What else does it feel like? It feels like. Yeah. Oh, man. I don't know. Other things feel like hugs, but what do hugs feel like? Now we're down a rabbit hole.

Yahoo, which is now owned by Verizon Media, will be shutting down the question and answer service and deleting archives on May 4th. So you have very little time to go use it if you want to. Erasing a corner of the internet that will be widely remembered for its to be charitable, less than enriching contributions to human knowledge since its original arrival in the year 2005. Why that magic brings up another good one.

Why are the holes in cats' fur always in the right places for like their eyes and things? Like it lines up like it's like, you know, cats are just born with a sheet of fur over them. But the holes always match up with their eyes. That's great. That's great. I mean, the nice thing is all this is on Archive.org, the way back machine has, like all those archives so it's not like these will be lost to time but what a wonder someone should make a book and have me illustrate it that's what i was just going to say i'm sure somebody's got a coffee table

book in the works of uh yahoo answers you know what i should do between now and the fourth i should do a sketch every day doodle every day of of some of my favorite of a yahoo answers yeah yeah that could be fun fun little series and then i'm curious to see your sketch of how is babie form that's going to be an interesting I don't even know what to do there. I wouldn't even know where to start. Well, anyway, so goodbye, Yahoo answers. There's a new question.

What happened to Yahoo answers, and now we know the answer. Now we know. It's too bad. Yahoo, what a weird thing, man. Back in the early days of the internet, Yahoo looked like it was going to be one of the great pillars of the future. And it didn't matter if it had a goofy name. There were plenty of other examples like that. if I could go back in time and know what I know now,

I think I would shock people. I would say to people, Yahoo, you think is the end-all, be-all, this is the search engine, this is the way that people will find everything on the internet. That is not going to hold very long. And they wouldn't believe me because it was so big when it was big. It was everything, right. Right.

And then I would have said, oh, in that little tiny bookseller weirdness over there called Amazon, that's going to be the biggest monster ever, and they wouldn't believe me. They're going to sell everything. Yeah. I would love to be a time traveler just to dick with people like that. Just to show people the future of the Internet. Oh, and see the entire Internet right here on this little device. Right.

Right. And I'll tell people, the big money is going to be in, I don't know, what's a weird thing when no one saw coming? Fake money. The big money is going to be in fake money. We're going to make up money and it's going to be where all the big money is. That's right. Exactly.

So buy your fake money early. Yeah. So my brother-in-law is really big into like investing and, you know, stuff like that. Yeah. And the other night I go, so you've been following all this NFT stuff and his eyes actually rolled,

physically rolled his eyes. And he goes, oh, yeah, oh, yeah. He didn't have much else to offer. I don't know how he feels about it. His eyes just rolled. That's funny. All right, moving on. Check this out.

If you live in Maine, that's, you know, Maine, that's where Hawkeye lived. Not comic Hawkeye, but Mash Hawkeye. Something's point, something... What was that called? Hold on. Something cove? Cove. Cove, yes. Cranapple Cove.

Cranberry Cove? Craneple. It would be crad apple. That'd be hilarious if it's like to beamed after an ocean. Crabapple. Crabapple Cove. Crabapple Cove. Maine. That's it. That's it.

Or him and his dad, who was also a doctor lived. Anyway, I watched a lot of mash growing up. Listen, Beege. He Muge. Baby, yeah, chicken was a baby, bege. I tried listening to his podcast recently, and then I got sidetracked, and I never did, but he's, Alan Alda's got a pretty good interview show that he does now. Oh, really?

Yeah. Cool. And he's like, you know, that dude's old. Is he interviewing celebs or what's the? Yeah, other actors. I think he may, it's not always just actors, though. It's like, I don't know, like sometimes it's a big scientist or, you know, experts in some feel or whatever.

It's all very hoity and toady, but I think he may have had that, um, the poet laureate girl on there. Oh, yeah, the one who, uh, uh, read at the inauguration. Yeah, she's like 5% of his total lifespan or something. She's like, she's, uh, right, she's a 10th of Alda. She's got a 10th Alda. One 10th, Alda. They play me some, play me some, uh, coffee porn music.

Oh, I can do that. that's boring. Hold on. Let me find something better. That's right. That's awesome. Actually, I like that. Brian's born is coffee. That's good. Coffee porn music. That's right. Pour you copy, everybody. That is caffeine-sounding coffee porn music. For the record or for those wondering, that's the official soundtrack to the Crypt of the Necro dancer, which is an awesome little video game that came out a few years ago.

Okay. Yeah. We played. Keep that handy for next time I have to pour. I think that's great stuff. Yeah, I got it right here now. So we'll never go without ever again. And then we'll be amazed when we look back and say, wow, how much coffee did Brian drink during an average episode of TMS? That is dangerous. I don't know.

We're in dark territory now. A couple people thought I said coffee porn music. Oh, coffee porn music. Well, that I got. That actually works. Yeah. Actually, I don't have it. Label that one is coffee porn music.

Let's see if I have anything with the word porn in it. I doubt it. I'm going to look. P-O-R-N. It's searching. We're looking. I've got a drive spinning up because I have an external drive. I actually have a couple albums over in the media room of 70s porn soundtracks.

Oh, nice. It's great stuff. Oh, my gosh. I need to get a hole. Put that in a special scoff folder. Yeah, I will. We'll do that. All right.

Oh, here's, okay, I have a number of files named porn. Let's see what they are. Harry's a porn king of Southern Kill him. All right, I think that was from... Jamie, I know you're on later, but before you come on, I have a number of files on my computer labeled porn. Let's see what they are. I've screwed up already.

Here's Wendy. The assumption is porn is, yeah, woo. All right, and then we got... It's an electronic pornography archive housed... Hardcore pornography. Oh, I like that one. And then Wendy again. Cat and chicken porn

That's a famous one And then one more I want more porn And pop up windows I don't remember what that's from Third Eagle is really Losing it as far as his His music

It's I haven't checked in on him I mean Well now that he doesn't have rosaries For Trump every day What does he do? Yeah, that's a really good question Let's just look him up

see. Is he still daily streaming? I'm worried that one of these days it's just going to be like he's dead. Sadly regret to announce that here we go. Third Eagle books. Yeah. Pray for the stone cut from the mountain. Pray for stone

cut from the mountain 46 minutes ago. Yeah. Before we hated her, we loved her. Is that a song? Let's see if he sings this. You'll have no electricity. The very first thing Out of that video is you'll have no electricity.

I love it. Oh, this guy is so... It's great. Dana's Rats in the Sewer Dream. Complete decode. Oh, wow. From top to bottom, really? Okay.

Rats in the sewers. The false profit causes all to take the mark of the beast. All right. Oh, look at him ringing his. Bell. Okay, this guy. You know what? It used to be, I like the weird stuff. Like, I saw a video where

I know, I really want him to review the most recent Lil Nas X video. Yes, the one where he pole dances in Satan's lap or whatever he does. Yes. Oh my God. I kind of like that song. We almost need to like say Third Eagle, could you please

review, talk about the latest Lil Nas X video? Why isn't he doing that? I think He's just too far. I mean, think of all the symbolism that he would claim to see. I mean, some of it's just obvious. He pole dances down to hell. Exactly.

Some of it's just no symbolism at all. It is just flat out. I really want him to do that now, but he won't. The number one video is still your airport one. Yeah. Well, you know, it got a lot of, a lot of press. That was back when he was wearing polo shirts. Yep.

Oh, yeah. Now he's, uh, what's he all about now? Sweeters. Strategically buttoned so that you can't see my flowing chest hair. It's a sea of wavy gray moving left to right, rhythmically. It's funny, it's, it is not just, I mean, it is like several videos of Denver Airport stuff. Yeah, and the biggest one was 20, let's see, 208K. Oh, there's 450,000 views, phallic symbols at Denver and Arizona.

Oh, yeah, yeah, you're right. Classic. Oh, man. That's his greatest hits. Eleven years ago. That was, we started the show around the time he did this. We did this. Yeah.

And now he's, well, he's still with us. He's still with us. Well, good luck, 30-gold Maine. Pray for the stone being cut from the mountain. Whatever the hell that means. See, once again, this is a case where. This obscure guy nobody knows except us, because we've focused on it so much, is one of your best impressions by a mile. But you can't, it's never going to, you know, you can't use it in regular life because no one knows what the crap you're talking about.

Hey, you want to hear my impersonation of Third Eagle? Who? Yeah. So that's now, you got that, you got James. Who's the other? You have another. Ken Kratz. Nobody knows Ken Kratz.

Nobody knows Ken Kratz. Not like they think they do. Like, why is that? Your three best impressions are of people. no one knows. You know what? Because my other ones are impressions of impressions, right? Like my Obama is an impression of Fred Armisen's Obama, I think. Yeah. The, you know, the one pauses and the, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Maybe that's it. I don't know what's going on there. Well, we'll check in on them occasionally. Are you there, clear the road and clear the air here, there and everywhere? I said that

many, many, many, many times. Yeah. many, many, many, many, many, many. We need to record the whole song of, you'll be without electricity. I know. He was, and I think it was just the start of a stream and his song was playing in the background and that line just came up first.

So there's probably this song somewhere on its own. Yeah. We'll see if we can find it. All right, moving on. Oh, yeah, Maine. Oh, yeah, Maine, right. I forgot to tell you the story that I started nine years ago,

about Maine. All right. There's a cannabis ambulance that makes house calls in Maine if you live there. A canbulance. Canbulance. A weed mobile, basically. Blenchelence. No, there's something.

There's something there. I don't know what it is, but we'll work on. Bluntulence is good. I like Bluntulence. I'm not going to deny Blunchelance a chance at the table. Bluntulence. It really, that sounds like a sex movie pay extra for in Vegas. Bluntulence.

Oh, yeah, totally. I don't know like a live show thing at the crazy horse saloon or something. Right, exactly. Oh, Talley's Earl might have it, the gondulence. Oh, there you go. The gondulence. It's not bad. It's not bad.

That's not bad. All right, well, here's the deal. It's a mobile certification vehicle that visits different cannabis dispensaries and caregivers and gives determinant, or sorry, who helps determine whether somebody may be eligible for a medical marijuana treatment plan. It's operated by medical marijuana practitioners of Maine. That's their company name. And you'll see it pop up from time to time from some notable locations across the state. The photo above is from their biweekly visit to Farley's Cannabis Farm and Woolrich.

Anyway, they've partnered with somebody to do actual house calls for residents living in the greater Portland area. That's Portland, Maine. Multi-step process and getting your medical marijuana car, which includes booking an initial. appointment. Excuse me, meeting with a licensed clinician to discuss your ailments and then being approved. Yeah. I think the multi-step process is make an appointment, get your card. I think that's the multi-step. They have to like over-explain it to us. Oh, look at that thing. That looks like someone's in trouble if that pulls up to your house. Look at that. Oh, really? Is it like, is it the actual, it's not like a green ambulance or anything? It is like an ambulance, I guess,

and it's got a big green stripe on it. But if I saw that, in someone's yard, I'd go, uh-oh, who had a heart attack, you know, like, I'd be weird. But they do, yeah, they do have the green stripe and the pot plants on it. Yeah. Oh, look at the guy. See, that's where you need to, uh, that's where you need the Ghostbusters vehicle. And, you know, instead of a siren, it goes, ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, as it goes,

as it goes down, hey, good look, and we'll pick you up later. I guess that's not pot. That's Mr. Microphone. That's Mr. Microphone. Yeah, it's Mr. Microphones. Not the same. All right. Well, anyway, if you live in Maine, uh,

I've got a Mr. microphone and I love it. And I love it. Oh, I hate Mr. microphone. Hate it. Now I've got to play it. I got to play some of it. I got a Mr.

microphone and I love it. You were really close to that. Do it again. Do it one more time. I've got a Mr. microphone and I love it. It's pretty good. It's pretty good.

It's not my Jill, but it's, it's, you know. Yeah. Oh, here's more of the, It's more the echo that sails it Because it's the They're all going to leverage you I'm going to love at you Speak into the microphone, squid brain

No, that's not it Hey, this Christmas party is getting a little too quiet I think it's time we liven it up With my favorite Christmas gift Mr. microphone Hey, what's that? Well, you set the dial on your FM radio And testing, testing

Oh my gosh, dude What were we doing back then? Oh my God, I want one I know. It's my voice, but it's coming from over there now. The crowd just erupts, and it's all through, you gotta tune it to like a shitty station on your FM radio. Oh my gosh. It's so bad.

We lived in such dark times back then. Hey, good luck, and I'll be back to pick you up later. Yeah. Okay, I'll be waiting right here. I'll be here, especially now that I see you have Mr. Microphone. That's my favorite Christmas gift. shall I just take off my clothes now and wait for you? Before this, I thought you were gross and I wanted nothing to do with you.

But now, I've been persuaded by your expert use of the Mr. Microphone. Why your purchase of a Ronco product? Oh, my gosh. All right. Final story. Well, maybe we may have two more here. Okay.

Radio host. We'll make a lot out of this one. Yeah, this is a good one. Radio host, Steve Quayle, no relation to Dan Quail, as far as I know. Former presidential, whatever, that guy, you never hear anything from Dan Quay. Oh, he really kind of disappeared from, from public life. I guess I don't blame him because, yeah, let's look him up. He was, you know, that whole potato thing just really like, it became his, yeah,

moment. And it's like, all right, see you. Oh, here's, okay. he's i guess he's more active than i thought he uh he was let's see um well that was two years ago okay two months ago he was on msnbc saying he will uh he will attend the the inauguration so i guess he pops up occasionally and just says stuff i don't know i don't know what his deal is he still can't spell potato so it's fine yeah that's fine man our our our our our the lines we would draw for what made a politician stupid back

then the bar just keeps getting lowered and lowered it's really really weird really weird yeah um yeah is he let's see how many oh he was a one-term vice president well yeah so was uh uh uh pence yeah michael pence you don't hear a lot from him lately either although i guess he has a podcast now he's got a podcast uh does he really yeah dude yeah uh i won't last this Podcasting takes hard work and rigor, and I don't think any of these people have it. Who will be a guest on each other's podcast first? Pence on Third Eagle or Third Eagle on Pence? Oh, 30 Eagle.

Well, see, Ted Cruz has one too, so I think there's a better likelihood of that crossover first. Ted Cruz has a podcast. Can you imagine doing that on purpose? Brian, imagine, here's your phone. You're like, all right. If Schrelli gets a podcast, I'm done, Scott. I know, we're out of the business. Figuring out another thing I can do.

You can, you'll grab your podcast app and who literally goes, I'm going to hit this search button. I'm going to type Ted Cruz. Yeah. You know what? I am going to do this. Let's see what happens. Get ready for more recommendations of things you don't want.

All right. It's called Verdict with Ted Cruz. Verdict. Join Ted Cruz and co-host Michael Knowles as they break down the most important news stories of the day and reveal what they mean to you. Oh, my Lord. His last episode was on March 25th. weird they've already pod faded wow it's a bummer because i was really hoping we'd get that

expose on uh trump calling his wife ugly yep and uh yep yep oh here's the aftermath of trump calling his wife ugly this is all this let's see the battle over ballots uh holy crap what a that important news of the day sure what their intro is the media have declared joe biden the winner of the 2020 presidential election but under our constitutional system it turns out that the media don't actually get to pick who the president oh you're hilarious so it's a comedy podcast all right good yeah where they pretend to be uh breaking down the news so that we can understand it yeah plus they pod faded they're done yeah all right uh moving on oh no i didn't i didn't get to the point here

radio show See I knew it would be on this one a long time Not even related to any of these people We're talking about Yeah well all right Here's what we got Radio show host Steve Quayle claims

Zombies could attack Earth And he said this on televangelist Jim Baker's show You know Jim Baker? Oh gotcha yes Oh yeah good old He's a dude Jessica Hahn The takedown of the 700

Club? What was it? What was their deal? Was that them or is that a different thing? Well, whatever was. That might have been different. Yeah. Wait, Jessica Hahn. Yeah, she was the one she had. They had the affair. And then his wife with all the makeup got mad. Right. And then he was basically shamed. Right. And then he came back with a bunch of buckets of

apocalyptic food. Right. Basically, you could buy buckets of apocalyptic food. Yeah. Yeah, they were big buckets of a... It's totally right. You can lie. That's exactly right. That's exactly it. I'm going to play...

It's Home Depot orange buckets filled with... There you have it. So I'm going to play this 29-second clip from the show, and we'll see what we... Okay, all right. Hopefully don't get a takedown notice. Oh, wait. You got to turn the ball. This is on two things.

A power outage and zombies. Yep. Zombies. This is the alert that came from the city of Lake Worth. And see that it reads more than sex. This is my thought of us. He posts a growth does not. Okay, why I have this article where they don't actually show me the clip?

So that's actually an article about the article, right? Or about the... I think so? I'm not even sure of that. Well, anyway, here's what he says. Let's see. He hosted a conspiracy theorist and radio show host Steve Quayle. He warned the impending zombie apocalypse on Tuesday.

He suggested the material collected from nasal swabs and the south end swabs, he called them. Mm-hmm. From your bum bum. used in COVID-19 testing are covert genetic capture techniques designed to create a bioweapon that could transform people into the undead on the latest edition of the Jim Baker Show. Baker did not appear to question the premise that real-world zombies existed when speaking to quail, referring to the reanimation of the deceased as being, quote, like any other disease, unquote. Wow.

Zombies, he says, this is what the guy says, zombies that are on the earth are the disease. like any other disease It affects people And they become like zombies Baker said in a clip resurfaced on a right ring watch Project Skip ahead

Forgive me But that's only part of the story Quail responded Zombies also have A evil Spiritual entity known as Demon Possession Okay

Oh well then alright It all clears It cleared it up Because there is no rationale With a zombie The best way to explain Zombie bloodlust is this the appetite of demons expressed through humans.

F-off. Wow. Freaking F-off. F-R-R-R-A-R-O-Mir-Vina. The photo I put into the chat. I wish it actually came up as a photo, but that's four different servings of the apocalypse chow. Ooh, look at that.

That is a macro on the top. That's your macaroni and cheese. On the right side is like a bean soup or something. The bottom is chocolate pudding. And on the left is your, chicken noodle soup. So just creamy, bad for you, garbage. It looks like the Indian buffet restaurant you don't want to go to.

Yeah, that's it. That's what they want you to eat. That is not a shade of orange you find in nature anywhere. Yeah. Plus, Jim Baker would be so backed up from this. There's no way this is going on. It turns into a zombie from that, from eating this stuff. Yeah.

He's going to have a nice impaction in there. Yes. Anyway, yeah, I need some grape nuts in there. All right, we're going to take a break. When we come back some time, old pal, TMS, Jamie's mashups guy. He's coming on. Yeah, that's right. Jamie's coming on.

And we're going to talk about his method and how he finds us stuff and why he's an insane person and does this. It's going to be great. So look forward to that right after this break, this break being a song provided by Brian Nibbitt. Brian, what are we doing today? Yeah, so we got a punk band. um this is uh great the brand new album called metal butterflies uh the band is called all my friends

hate me and um these guys are great they're they're probably a little bit more like green day than than what i would consider to be just straight up punk but i mean we've got different definitions of punk but these guys are from uh los angeles formed in 2018 by uh bobby banister from Nashville and as well as British Transplant Bo McCarthy and bassist Xander Berman from Seattle This is

a great song This is actually the title Sort of the title track It's called LA changed me And all my friends hate me I'm going to give you a heads up That the end of the song The very end there's a spoken word bit

And there is an F-B A swear? Okay So please please be careful that it does not corrupt your mind if you hear that F-bomb at the end of this song. Yep, be wary. But it's kind of funny. Yeah. All right.

Anyway, so there you go. Anyway, the band is, All My Friends Hate Me. Here is, L.A. changed me, and all my friends hate me. I moved out to the West Coast, thinking it was. the best coast I don't know how the rest goes because I haven't been

there yet I started dating a mile you couldn't put down the bottle my friend said she was awful I didn't listen

to them I guess I'm ignorant to the rest of it but nothing matters when you're in the best of it so fuck your life LA changed me and all my friends saved me LA changed me and all my friends saved me

LA changed me and all my friends save me LA hates me I got so many problems I don't know how to solve them I got shit tons of drama I'm not all right I guess I'm ignorant to the rest of it

You're in the best of it So fuck your lives LA changed me And all my friends saved me LA changed me And all my friends saved me Hellet changed me And all my friends save me

Hellet hates me I'm not here for a long time but I'm here for a good time yeah I know I stole that line but that's just still true LA changed me and all my friends save me LA changed me and all my friends save me

LA changed me and all my friends save me LA Hellen changed me And all my friends saved me Hellen change me And all my friends save me Hellen change me And all my friends say me

Hellen hates me Welcome to the Hollywood tourbuss My name is Chad And I'll be your tour guide this afternoon As we move down Hollywood Boulevard If you take a look to your right You'll see Tom Cruise taking a shit On your left is a rapper

With the children's Spider-Man costume I'm handing out his mixtape and grabbing the asses of unsuspecting tourists. Fuck. I'm drunk. Hey, you guys, let's take a minute and talk about our friends at Blue Chew. Today's episode sponsored by Blue Chew. Look, it's been a hell of a year. Personally, I feel like I've aged 12 years over the last 12 months. And if you're like me, you're feeling your age more than you used to.

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So it's cheaper than a pharmacy. So if you could benefit from some extra confidence when it comes time to perform, wink, wink, visit bluechew.com for details and important safety information. We've got a deal for you guys. Try Blue Chew for free. When you use our code TMS at checkout, just pay $5. shipping. That's bluechew.com promo code TMS to receive your very first month free. And we thank Blue Chew for helping us out today. What are you saying, Lean? I should be the one saying that. I wanted to release you from

those wings that torment you so. I can only die once. I'm happy that you've killed me. This is the morning stream, and I feel fine. All right, we've returned. We've come back, everybody. We've come back. Better than ever. Again, that's all my friends hate me. By the band, well, that's the L.A. changed me by the band.

All my friends. hate me very nice all right as promised we're going to bring jamie in here who lives in canada and i believe he's on the east coast time zone so it's very nice of him to take time out of his day and uh the good part of canada yeah the part of canada where uh i don't know where's the one that they don't like the french they don't like the french quebec people up there much right isn't that the deal jamie the quebecans are the ones that get the heat because they think they're frenchy and mean or something what's the deal yeah

well because people with baguettes are better because they think they're better they're not actually better but they think they're better uh we're joining us on the line is uh jamie he is known to you folks at home as TMS mashups because he puts

together these amazing weekly sometimes more often mashups that we play on the show uh here in other shows in fact if you've ever heard Corey you probably heard a bonus there once in a while and uh they're always fantastic but part of the reason they're great is because they're so, I don't know, like scraping the bottom of the barrel on stuff we forgot we said. We don't know when we said it.

I don't know how you find this stuff. I don't know how you know like in your head that, oh, I'll take this line. I won't forget to edit this out. So a lot of people are just kind of dying to know your process, man. Before we get to all that, how the heck are you? How are you doing? I'm okay. Yeah, I'm on the West Coast, by the way.

I'm over in. Oh, I thought you're East Coast for some reason. Why did I think that? I don't know why I thought that. I thought that too. We're right next to each other, so it's all good. Yeah, I think you even said, you said something about this in an email exchange, and I, for some reason, conflated it with East Coast. But look, nothing wrong with the French people in Canada. You guys are fine. Not at all. Yes. We're not here to judge. I just know that you're apparently by your fellow countrymen, you are all annoying, and they don't like you.

All right. That doesn't matter. Moving on. I also love the night before you're going to go on something big like my first sort of appearance on the show because my dreams were all the show was starting i can't find you guys i can't find the discord app i'm like frantically trying to find any sort of uh any sort of person to click on and i can't and then it was just like three or four iterations of that in a row before i finally woke up oh well gosh dang it so you're so now not only have you not slept well you're also an hour behind us and you had weird dreams well i had your dream perfect time for I'm a good company for weird dreams. Yeah, I agree.

Mine are weird all the time. I had some weird ones this morning. I won't tell you about one that I had today. It was horrible. Really? Yeah, let's just say it. Well, well, all right, let's, I'll give you the basics. I'm not telling you the whole thing because I don't, it's way too much detail.

But I, for some reason, I owned a big, internationally known and used and recognized sperm bank. and that's fine no big deal except the way that we collected said sperm was horrifying so imagine if you will i'm just going to tell you imagine a big giant uh like a you know like a like a like a grain silo you know what i'm talking about like the one in the one in uh witness where uh Danny Danny um Danny Glover dies in there, gets clobbered by a bunch of corn or whatever, like one of those. And around the base of this thing, I'm not kidding, around the base of this thing were like little rubber holes around this thing. They were like little gasket holes, like a nice rubber outside. Oh, no.

Now I'm visualizing. Yes. And what would happen is volunteers, I would call on these volunteers, would all come to my sperm extraction. farm and they would all yeah and they would all do what you're thinking to the sides of this of this thing and so the it was a giant storage bin of everybody's manseed and then we distribute it by just like you know a little spout on the side take a little bit send it to the to the doctor who's trying to get the family pregnant or whatever and a little bit more to whoever it was gnarly and in the dream it all seemed normal and I'm like well

see these production reports. Oh, we're up this quarter. It was all very serious business stuff. And meanwhile, people are out humping a freaking grain silo out in the yard. It was weird. Weird. Wow. Yeah, it was really weird. So, Jamie, there's some fun content for you for your next question. Yeah, for next time for sure. All right. So let's get to this, though. Like, how do you do that? Like, what do you even know? Like, are you sitting listening to the show live and capturing live? Are you like time stamping it and saying I'm going to go back later? How do you do it? Yeah, I listen live. Yeah, I'll go through the show, and as I'm listening, I have an iPhone, so I've got a notes file open.

And so what I'll do is I hear things that kind of stick out to me, and I've been doing this for like three years now, so I kind of know what's good clip material. And so I'll listen to something, and then I'll go and I'll create a little time stamp, and I have them all grouped by episode. and then I also put a little a little code at the end for the type of clip that it is so it's like you know Brian doing one of his stupid impressions or are you tripping over your words

or something dirty I'll go and and add that later and then yeah so I've got the timestamps and then at the end of the week usually Friday, Saturday night I'll go and I download the episodes I clip everything out

edit it all together and then it's a matter of putting them into the template and yeah, finding that one 10 pull clip that plays at the end. That's usually what I try and that is the titles. The greatest hit. Yeah, yeah.

I was wondering about that too, but it's okay, that all makes sense to me, like say for a new episode. Like I'll say you did that with Monday's episode. Makes sense. It was recent. You just listen to it. But oftentimes you're pulling in stuff that happened that we said in 2013. Or maybe even earlier, out of nowhere or famously said then that became Mimi or whatever over the years.

How are you finding those? Well, when I started doing this Patreon thing, I started doing a monthly special for just patrons called the Throwback Mashup. And so when I had more time, I don't have a lot of time right now. But when I had time, I would go back and I would listen to older episodes of TMS as well as new episodes. and I'd listen to like 10 to 15 episodes a week, I think, of the old stuff. Oh, my God. And I would clip out stuff from the older episodes just for that throwback mashup. But what I realized is that I was finding pretty awesome clips,

like sing-along, all this different stuff from there. And so I would take, I would just take those clips from the throwback mashup series, and I would bring them over, you know, as a little one-off at the, you know, at the top of a mashup for a good laugh or whatever. or I use them for my bonus mashes specials that I do. That's crazy to me. That is insane. That's a lot of content.

You say you don't have as much time for that now, but how did you ever have time for 15 episodes of TMS? That just blows my mind. I guess I just had a lot of time on my hands during the week. Sometimes I listen to him at work, if I'm on my break or whatever. I just kind of have it in my ear. And yeah,

and I hear something kind of pop out to me and then I jot it down. So that's a lot of listening, a lot of time coding. Yeah. I feel like this is the right. You've done the healthy thing, which is you have an outlet for this insanity. In other words, if you were that level of a listener and there are people that just listen that much, if you don't have a way to fart some of it out, it's too much, you're going to overwhelm yourself. Like at some point you're going to be like, it's a pressure valve, right? It's a vent. Yeah. And you're never going to want to hear our voices again at some point. Like,

at some point you're like, I don't want to talk to. These guys suck. Like, you've heard too much of us at some point. So out of curiosity, what, uh, what do you have in your notes file for today's episode? Well, I'll tell you, I'd actually don't clip live. Oh, you don't. No, I always clip it after. I'll go for a walk. I just figured I had timestamps or something written down or something like that. Nope. Yeah, I always time I always time code and timestamp from the, uh, the podcast app. Gotcha. Okay. Yeah, because that the, the podcast app matches the time code from the download oh right the video wouldn't yeah right right because we do a bunch of pre-show stuff here you'd have to you'd have to work when it started and yep plus the song is in there and and so things things will

move around a lot that totally makes sense yeah yeah yeah has to line up so is your notes file just like this I'd love to see that one day just want to see what that looks like I know too yeah is it just one big continuous like nightmareish document no I'll tell you I've got a mashups folder um in my notes thing here and uh it's it goes on for a a while. Yeah, there's 236 separate notes in my mashup folder. Eight minutes, 13 seconds. Tiger penis. Eight minutes, 14 segments.

Cup the balls. Yeah, cup the balls. Tiger penis. Two more times. How about more tiger penis? Right. Right. So let me ask you. When you guys call me like the TMS archivist, because they'll say like, okay, well, if you want to find something super old, you know, Jamie probably has it. And I can just scroll through my mashup folder

and my notes folder for a time code. And I can find the episode. I'm like, oh, yeah, I did clip from that episode. Go back and look, look for the time code scroll to that point. I'm like, oh, there it is. Yeah. So it's pretty easy to find. Well, okay, so for those budding young editor types at home who are like, I want to make cool stuff like this, what are, what are you, what's your, on the production side, what's your process, what software are you using, like, do you have like a preferred, you know, thing to use when you're making, when you're actually making the mashups? Yeah, I use audition. Oh, nice.

Adobe edition for it. Cool. Oh, I've got a story about that. I can tell. real fast so uh i still i love audition it's my favorite uh recording software ever and um but i don't love uh adobe's business practices when it comes to like it's been it's come to a bit of a stink lately with a couple of people realizing that every time they change their plan at all so brian let's say you have the full apps plan and you're like which i do yeah yeah which you do but you may be saying yourself man i'm paying 55 bucks a month for that i don't really use you probably use it but if you don't use Illustrator, you're kind of like, I really don't use Illustrator. What if I just did the

Photoshop Photo Pack, whatever one, the $20 a month one or whatever. Let's say you wanted to change it. If you don't look at the fine print, what happens when you do that is, if you've already been signed up for years like you and I have been, it's signed you up for a new year and it's a new commitment for a year.

So if you canceled between now and that year, like old like old pager deals in the 90s, they will charge you for a chunk of the, it's like a cancellation. fee. They charge you for it every you didn't use. Gotcha. So I know people have gotten like $300 cancellation fees because they canceled

during one of these years. And it's not like you, them treating it like a phone service where we have to re-up for a year any time you make even a change to your thing is lame. It's just lame. Cancellation fees are of the devil. I understand yearly contracts,

but cancellation fees can bite me in the butthole. I mean, is it basically those situations where somebody could game the system and say, well, I just need Photoshop for this one project. I'm going to get it. I'm going to cancel after a month and get the prorated rest of it back. And now I've gotten Photoshop for a month. Yeah, I'm sure that's it.

That's probably their main motivation there. But it does suck. I mean, I'm not, you know. I think they should have, the way they should do it is say, they should just accept the fact that they're going to do fine and they should let people cancel after a month. and you're just targeting for the month. It's like a streaming service or anything else.

You got your money for the month. They used it for what they needed it for. Plenty of people will keep it in perpetuity. Other people will use it for a year. Like just be a normal ass company and quit trying to make everything AT&T of the 80s. And give us all a cart because I use illustrator Photoshop and bridge on the regular. I think that's it as far. Or a Dreamweaver.

See, and here's. the problem like you just described part of the problem which is I use a handful of those apps but not all of those apps so the full meal deal gives me everything but I don't use everything I just use what I need here's what I use Photoshop illustrator to some point but not that often but mostly Photoshop audition audition and Premiere those are my three big ones I decided this week to cancel everything but audition until I find a better replacement for it, something I like, which will be any year because I had to do the re-up, because that's what they do when you change it.

And then I started, I went ahead and moved full time over to Affinity Photo, Affinity Designer, and Affinity Publisher. Affinity is awesome. Great alternatives. I'm just saying the days where there was nothing as good as Photoshop, those days are gone. It doesn't exist anymore. If anything, there's things that are better, you just don't know it. and these things were like $24 bucks a piece.

They're a license. You own it. You don't pay monthly or yearly or anything. You just own them and they're awesome companies. So I'm just putting it out there that maybe we need to just remind Dobe. You don't necessarily have the safety position you think you have with all your weird practices. All right. That's what I'm saying.

Okay, Jamie, how do you like it? How's it feel being on a rant episode of the show where I get the rent. I'm just along for the ride, you know. I've done this thing. Get back and let you talk. It's fine. That's what I do, too, man. Sometimes I can't help it.

I don't know. I just go and I can't stop. All right. Well, this is fantastic. So give us a hint as to what we might be expecting sometime soon from you from a mashup. You got any big theme packs coming like you sometimes do? Anything big like that? Well, yeah, I gather all the bonus clips.

And basically what I have to do is I've got them all. I've got like a naming hierarchy in my folder. on my computer there with all the clips. And so what happens is when I, when I finish an episode, I run all my clips through a file renamer, like a batch file renamer. And I add,

I add the suffix to each one. So basically, as I'm going through and clipping out, I've got a little notepad file. And I kind of keep a childy of like, okay, well, clips one, five, and seven,

or SBSA clips to eight and ten or BR impressions clips. SPT is six and eight. and then I'll and then I go and I'll take those clips and I'll add the suffix so that when I want to do a bonus I just have to search for that suffix and all the clips that have that suffix show up

and then I can copy those into a new folder and start a new mashup and keeps them all organized but yeah we've done a lot of them lately we've done I think we've done about all five series in the last month so I have to sort of collect them

and I'm only clipping TMS because I'm not working right now I haven't done film like film sat core or boop or anything so um yeah it'll be a little slow to get the bonus stuff out but uh what's all right i have one for monday tms will benefit from uh your continued awesome awesome hard work exactly uh people listen he's got like you mentioned earlier it has a patreon if you really dig this mashup stuff and the bonus stuff uh you should go support it that's awesome patreon dot com slash tms mashups right do i have that right that's it that's very cool swag the

the t-shirt a couple days ago on the show here, but it's the TMS mashups logo with the blue shell. It's super cool. Mine is on right now, but it's under the sweatshirt. I should have worn it out because the whole point was to have it on while Jamie was here, and I forgot. It was cold this morning, damn it.

Yeah, that happens. Also, TMS mashups on Twitter. So follow him there. He's a good follow and a great guy. And it was really fun having you on, dude. Thanks for being here. No problem. Thanks for having me.

Stay out of trouble now. Bye now. all right he has a cool voice actually he should podcast he does he's got a really good deep yeah deep register radio voice

I guess I've never heard it before but now that I've heard it it's like hey hey there who ha hoo ho ho ho hey ladies I'm meshing stuff up hey chat room

rabbit magic says fission is that is that the thing from rogue amoeba I haven't tried their recording stuff uh it's it's one no I mean it is their recording thing it's it they're editing audio editing but it is um it's one track so you're not going to get

multiple tracks like you do with uh audition now i'd be okay with that because my use case for audition is almost entirely one track i don't ever do multiple tracks in it in fact when i put songs in after the show i insert them in line like i don't even i don't even bother with multiple do do fades or anything like that like i do some of it i do some crossfades but that's all built in There's some built-in stuff in audition that lets me cross-fade just with pace and stuff. And it's mainly because the multi-track part, the multi-track function part of audition kind of sucks. It's not great. It's just goofy and kind of hard and unwieldy to work with and the tools are funny.

Single-track recording in audition is amazing and noise reduction and a bunch of filtery stuff and plugins are all really good. But now I'm starting to wonder if I have to look around. You could try fishing. I don't think it's going to do enough. It's a very bare bones. It's great for doing like what I use it for is primarily chapters and just editing out little clips, mistakes, anything like that. Just, you know.

Interesting. Yankin stuff out. What is Bobby? Bobby says A&TPS upwards of 27 tracks. He's using. He's using audition. Oh, I think he is using audition. Yeah, audition does great, multi-track.

I mean, it supports it. I just think the tools in there are a little weird. They're just not super intuitive. so I use it occasionally for certain like he's doing where you're doing like post-production on something makes perfect sense. It sounds like Fission is more for just give me a raw recording. Yep. And that's not bad for what I do.

But now I have to do another year of audition anyway, so I may as well not worry about it. You've got time to really audition some replacements. And for some of you have heard me or heard of say Affinity earlier for publisher, designer, and photo those those are their kind of their three big sweet programs and they're right now on sale for 24 they're usually 49 or something wow um photo in particular which is a photoshop replacement has full uh complete PSD support so any any photoshop files in and out okay that's cool oh yeah all the layers are intact everything stays all your fonts anything you've done stays intact with those layers and also you can you can output to PSD as well of course every graphic format, but

anyway, this stuff's come so far that it's to the point where that I think I mean, Photoshop is like ubiquitous like Kleenex is, I get it, but that just means we haven't been paying attention because others have come along since, especially since CC and said,

well, hey, what if you just wanted to buy it once and use the damn thing? Yeah. Anyway, I'm just annoyed right now. I'm a little salty about it. Clearly, clearly. A little salty. As a lifelong user of Adobe products,

maybe maybe be more customer friendly how about that all right uh hey what else that's it that's the show we've done it everybody uh listen to this uh we're our next phase of our lives is to leave leave right now but before we do i'm going to recommend that you go to our patreon at patreon dot com slash tms we're just about mid-month uh as good a time as any to hop in and get daily free content yeah that's Right. Every episode that we put up every day comes with a pre-show and a post show attached to the file on the RSS feed on the Patreon. But you can only get it that way. There's no other way to get that. I don't put it anywhere else. So if you want that bonus content every single day for nothing virtually, head on over to patreon.com slash TMS and do that today. Frogpants.com slash TMS for everything else.

And a quick rockrunner's note, we busted through, let's see, our sixth. Is that our sixth level? fifth or sixth stretch goal today which means new stretch goals added already been added and we're moving on down the road we're only a week into this thing so there's plenty of time

you're just kicking butt it's going all right it's going all right this game better be fun that's the big kicker it better be fun I know it's fun because I played it I played a lot of it

and a lot of other people played around here and loved it so I'm not worried about that but boy it's crazy anyway go check it out It's a rock runner's on Kickstarter. You can find it just by searching that term.

All right. Brian, I think that's everything. Do you have anything going on? We didn't mention. So soundography posted this morning. Cell Dweller is the band we listen to. A&P submissions are going to be posted on the free feed here coming later this morning.

And then you'll get the judging and elimination episode tomorrow. What else? I think that's it for me. Oh, it might be another Crosswordville at some point today. I basically do, because I'm preparing for the North American Crossword Championships. Oh, right. Which is coming up the weekend of April 24th. I forgot you were doing.

And so I'm doing, doing, I do the New York Times Crossword daily, but sometimes I stream it. I started trying out streaming on it last week. So I might, you know, pull it up and do an older one. I've already done the Tuesday one. So, but maybe. Does Will Shorts visit you in your dreams say? He does, and he says, it's probably, the word you're probably looking for is aloe, A-L-O-E. He still does that NPR weekend thing, I think.

It sounds just like him. Again, another really good impression you do of someone people barely. Yes, exactly. So, Keith and I basically do it on my main feed. It's unscheduled, which is kind of a bummer. You just have to get notified. Just sign up for notification. from, uh, Twitch.tv slash coverville. And I chat with the chat room while I'm doing it,

just don't put any answers in there is all I ask, uh, or you'll get, uh, you'll get a finger waved at you. You'll get the finger. Don't want the finger. You don't want the finger. And I play Andrew Allen jazz while I do it because, uh, no, no muting. No muting. Oh, that's right. Uh, one more tiny thing. I have word that all is well. I don't know if I'm supposed to... He doesn't care if I tell people, right? Because the baby's good. Yeah, I'm just going to say it.

Our good pal, Patrick Bejah, gave birth yesterday to another baby. Well, he did. What? That's amazing. Yeah, his wife did. He subscribes to my... He subscribes to my big grain sperm bank that I have, my silo, sperm silo that I own.

And we helped him out and they got a baby out of it. That's not true at all. That is how Babi formed. Yeah, that's how Babi formed. Anyway, Patrick is now the father of two little children. I didn't get a, oh, he put it on Twitter. Okay, we're good. He sent me a text, and I just wasn't sure if that was his, like, way of saying, don't

show this name. I don't know. You have an ADA on that, on baby pictures? Yeah, but I'm excited for him, and he's now, they've got to go man to man now. That's the new defense, so enjoy that. Yes. Having two is great. Three is way harder.

Two, not so bad. One, too easy. One is too easy. Two, yeah, you can deal with it. One's just fun. Totally feel like one was the way to do it. You know what's funny is my daughter and Dylan, when they were starting to talk about kids before then, they were like, oh, we want to have like six. I'm like, no, you don't.

Oh, yeah. No, you really don't, yeah. And then they have the one, and then I heard them saying, you know, maybe three, three. And then I heard the other day, I was sitting talking to Taylor, she goes, yeah, maybe two, maybe. I said, you know, there's no pressure here to do, you, you just, one is great. If that's where you want to stop. If you want to have two, that's cool too. We're supporting no matter what.

Just don't go thinking that, you know, you need to replenish the earth on your own. You're good if you want to do whatever. But, yeah, anyway, kids. Kids are great. Well done, Patrick. Ray's another little French boy or girl. I can't remember what he had. Not that it matters.

Okay. at least you're not in Canada where everyone hate you, right? Okay. What else? That's it. We're done. Let's play a song. We've got to get out with a song. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. How about this? Matt B. suggested or requested. I'm hitting the big 39 on April 13th and looking for a good way to start the year right. Tom Waits is my favorite and a huge creative influence on me. So any Waits cover would be awesome to hear. Signed Matt B. Well, happy birthday, Matt B. Welcome to the Cusp. of your 40s. Tom Waits. Great, great songwriter, interesting singer, interesting actor, too, really when you think about it,

played Renfield in that Dracula, Franks. Oh, right. Dracula movie. Yeah. Aida, ate a cat or something. Also, Book of Eli.

He's like the weird merchant guy. Yeah, he's cool in that. Of course, Jim Jarmouche's coffee and cigarettes and stuff like that. Anyway, back in 2008 Scarlett Johansson Yes Scarlett Johansson Made an entire album of Tom Waits covers

called Anywhere I Lay My Head It's actually surprisingly good And it's kind of got a very ethereal vibe to it A very like shoegazy pop Kind of feel to it And they put enough echo on Scarlett Johansson's voice That you just don't know

Is she a good singer? Is she a bad singer? I don't know, but it sounds good. On that album, she does a cover of I Don't Want to Grow Up. Seemed fitting for the age 39. Here is Scarlett Johansson. I don't want to grow up. grow up

nothing ever seems to turn out right I don't want to grow up how do you move in a world that's always changing things

makes me wish that I'd be a dog when I see the price you pay I don't want to go up I don't ever

want to be that way I don't want to blow up it seems like folks turn into things they never want the only thing to live is today

I don't want to put up hold in my TV sets I don't want to grow up Open up the medicine traps I don't want to grow up I don't want to have to shout out I don't want my camera call out I don't want to be built me now I don't want to be a good boy scout

I don't want to have the learned to announce I don't want to have the biggest amount I don't want to pull up I I finally I'd finally stay here in a big old tune I don't want to live in a big old tune on Grand Street

When I see the five o'clock room I don't want to grow up Come their head and shine their shoes I don't want to grow up Stay around in my home hometown I don't want to put no money down I don't want to get me a big old phone Work them will make those to the bone

I don't want to fall in love and get married and look How the hell did I get here so soon I don't want to grow up I This show us part of the Frog Pants Network. More shows like this at frogpants.com.

He didn't have a chance. Oh.