The Morning Stream - TMS 2108: Running for Goober Natorials

Episode Date: May 4, 2021

He's The Guy With The ONE Monocle! Baaaabyyyyyy duck doo doo doo doo. Mrr Thrr Frrth Brr Wrrth Yurrr. March The Tenth Be With You!! He's Got A Leachy Crotch!! Never trust a beaver. THE DUCK WAS A BABY! Sean Bean Even Dies When Narrating. Beaver Chewn Tube. I'm a felon. Date Me! Jamiroquai Grammer?!? Mouth full of chicken pudding. Corey Feldman is my go-to leach puller offer. Celebrity Politics, Politics, Politics with Jury and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is sponsored by ExpressVPN, creating secure tunnel between all your devices and the internet, so everything you do online is encrypted. ExpressVPN blocks your internet provider from seeing everything that you do online. Visit ExpressVPN.com slash TMS to get three extra months of ExpressVPN protection for free. Coming up on TMS, he's the guy with the one monocle. Baby duck do do do do do do do do. Murther, Firth, Burr, Werth, Werthier. March the 10th be with you.

He's got a leachy crotch Never trust a beaver The duck was a baby Sean Bean even dies when narrating Beaver chune tube I'm a felon, date me Jamiriqui grammar Mouthful of chicken pudding

Cory Feldman is my go-to Leach puller offer Celebrity Politics Politics With Jury and more On this episode of The Morning Stream And the plastic in the aesthetic shield Also blocks out abuse of rays And assist in the regeneration of cells

Citizen Dillto When the moon When the moon hits your eye Like a big pizza pie This is the morning stream Good morning everybody Welcome back to TMS It's the morning stream

for May 4th. Oh, geez. 2021. Let's get it out now. It even sounded bad, not even saying it. Fourth. Sounds like you got a mouthful of goo

when you're trying to say force. And it bugs me. Now it's all ruined. Thanks Star Wars. Thanks George Lucas and it's millions of fans. I don't think he had anything to do with it being this day. Well, if he hadn't created Star Wars and the phrase made a force be with you, you go all.

the way back to the primordial ooze that is star wars. You really have to really go to the source. Listen, it's my opinion that May 25th should be Star Wars Day, because that's when the first movie came out. I'm in agreement with you. We've talked about this before, but it's a little like Christmas. Supposedly, Jesus was born in the summer or the spring, yet we celebrated in December, which is dumb. Let's have Christmas in spring, baby. Woo! Sure, it doesn't sound like we're saying, may the fourth be with you and blah, blah, blah. but still it's uh yeah well look it just sounds like a mouth full of chicken that's what it sounds like somebody if you're trying to say may oh what day is it may fourth okay fine but if they're

trying to say may the fourth be with you it sounds like somebody trying to say force with a mouthful of chicken yeah it's my chicken by the way i don't know pudding pudding mouthful of pudding it could be chicken could be chicken pudding could be chicken pudding the mouthful of chicken tastes like wood is the problem. As any, is all best rap song ever taught us. I love that song. All right.

We're back at it here, folks. It's a TMS for a Tuesday. We got jury later. We got a fun thing all lined up at jury. Can't wait to do that. Oh, really? Cool. I have not even looked at what we're going to be talking about with juries.

Oh, it's not in there. So it wouldn't matter if I would have looked anyway. Let's just say a certain prominent individual announced officially their run for the gubernatorial race. of California. Oh, okay, yes. And this person, yes, goes by a couple different names. Yeah.

Smells things. Smells things. And let's just say the video that this person created. Oh, you know what? I realized that there are a couple people because I was thinking it's, it's, it's, never mind. I was thinking we were talking about the rock. Didn't the rock say that he, uh, oh no, that'd be great.

Get the rock in there. That would be great. Yes. That's who I was thinking, the smells things now. now it looks like wait a minute does katelyn jenner smell something i know well she does but we all do no more uh she smells Kardashian uh bronzer that's what she's yes that's that's all you can smell in that house well anyway anyway we'll be talking the jury about that later yeah it'll be great because her video is ridiculous and i want to talk about it so we'll do that i haven't seen the

video dang it's just so like no homework it's one of those like no you know just super dramatic and like the end of a Bruckheimer film kind of thing. It's just ridiculous. But we'll get to that later during the jury segment and not talk about any of that. Now, instead, I'd like to talk about saving a duck.

Now, this is not Scott tooting his own horn. I'm not here for praise. That's not what this is about. This is about a weird catharsis I got that I want to share with people. So yesterday, walking the dog, out by the lake, that's what you do she likes to pee and poop out there so i take her there and it's her place it's her favorite place for that yeah and i like it there too it's the lake it's the you know there's birds and

there's stuff you know so i go to the lake and i got the dog and uh i come along there's there's this like a water off ramp thing that they built to control the level so if it rains a lot or whatever they can let some of it out i don't know what you call that yeah it's funny because I was looking at the video and it looks like what they have in Seattle is a salmon ladder but it's obviously not that. You guys don't have salmon swimming back to their homeland in Salt Lake City.

No. But it's, uh, uh, yeah, like a, like a runoff. There you go, runoff. Well,

a runoff thing. Runoff valve, uh, spillway. That's probably what it is. Spillway. Okay. Spillway.

All right. Thank you, Mar 10 in the chat. Is that like Martin? Or it could be Mario. Because it was Martan, yeah Let's go, my name is Maybe he just really likes March 10th

Oh, okay, maybe March the 10th be with you, anyway So anyways, I'm out there And we're at the spillway there And I hear this Meep, meep, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. Just like, freaking out sound And I'm like, what is going on?

I can hear something, and I didn't know what it was. So I get a little closer, trying to look around And there's a little brown, little duck, stuck, a little baby duck. Yeah, duckling, not a duck, but a duck Yeah, a duck ling, very new to the world, stuck in this drop-off from where the lake thing is, or where the first part of this thing is kind of like a smaller lake and then down to the spillway. And it had somehow fallen down.

He probably just swam too close to the edge and fell in. And it's, I don't know, two and a half feet to get back up. So there's no way that duck's getting up. And it doesn't know how to fly yet or anything. And I can see the mother and the rest of its ducklings. The only thing it knows how to do at this point is duck. Right, that's it. It knows how to duck and cover.

That's right, exactly. So the mom and the baby ducks are all up top going, meh, me, ma'am, ma'am, freaking out because they can't find little junior, probably saying, you dumbass, you're always getting in trouble, you dumbass. That's part of they were saying. Wait a minute, I get a swine, I had five of you. How come, uh, she seemed, miss count. She seemed very upset.

But, um, so I'm like, all right, I quickly pulled out my phone and filmed it thinking I could film this. But then I went, well, wait, I can't do this with all of that. only two hands I have. Film, hold the dog, and rescue a duckling. So I put my phone back away. I tried to hold Rainer with one hand and tried to reach in there and then step in there and it just wasn't working. And then this really nice jogger came by.

And he was very nice because he stopped. He goes, oh, that duck, I thought I heard something over here. Do you need help? Can I hold the dog or something? I said, oh, that's a great idea here. And I hand him to the leash. Could you also hold my phone and film this? Yeah, could you film this because everything's content?

he looked at me weird and ran he took the he took the leash so held the dog that was really nice I got down into the

into the ditch thing and I'd get you know one inch to the left or right I'm going in the drink because it's like a foot and a half two feet of water

or something and I'm prepared to like this is going to get real bad but as I got to one side duck would go to the other side I go to the other side

duck would go to this side like it wasn't the other thing that he knows how to do at this age yeah yeah And they don't want to be. They don't know that I'm saving him. He thinks I'm there to kill him.

That's the first lesson they learn is people, stay away from him. Yeah. So it was real dumb. And it wasn't working. And I looked at the guy, the jogger, and said, I don't know if this is going to work. And he's like, yeah, this is weird. And then right around then a lady shows up with her three daughters, little girls, and an net. Not a lady named Annette.

I mean, like an actual net. Is this a new parenting style? I don't know. Bring your kids in a net to the park to keep it under control? Well, you know, these millennials, they've got ideas. But no, she... Helicopter parents and then there's... Fishercopter parents are the other.

Right, exactly. So she, what happened, I think, is that she, they had walked past this earlier, saw the duck, couldn't figure it out either, and went home quickly to get a net and then came back. They probably chased it back and forth. They probably did. And the kids don't care.

They'd be happy to get in there. Anyway, so she comes back with this net. She goes, oh, they're okay, cool. And she gets in. And I'm like, sweet, we have a method here. So she scoops the duck out, takes it around the edge of the other part of the lake where the ducks were, or the parents were, mom was. And then put it back with its little family and immediately got right in line, right into the little slot. And it saved.

Saved the duck. Now, some people might say that I had, in the end, very little. little to do with the saving of the duck. And you'd be right. Technically, I didn't do anything. All I did was show up and sort of pretend like I knew what I was doing and then failed. And then this lady's the one that came and saved the duck.

100% technically true. However, it felt great to be involved with some strangers and an innocent little duck involved in an interaction that was 100% focused on a duck. and it's survival and nothing to do with anybody's hangups, anybody's freaking COVID fears or un-wearing a mask. Had they been vaccinated, Scott? What are their political affiliations? Did you find out?

Exactly. All of that stuff out of the way. And it was just pure focus on the duck. Nobody had questions. Nobody had problems. It was just a working together kind of thing. I haven't felt that in a really long time. And I'm just saying it's, I recommend it.

If you can go find yourself a stranded duck and some strangers to help, it's a very specific situation. We're not suggesting you strand a duck just so you can get this feeling. But if the duck is already stranded, then yes. And that's the other thing, is trying to do all this while Rainer wanted to, you know, basically eat this duck, yeah. She ended up jumping in because she just couldn't help it. Her instincts were too strong and that didn't help.

Anyway, now her legs stink. She smells like Blake runoff. Oh, yeah. Like standing lake water, right? Because this is like standing in the spillway. Yeah, and the spillway is a bunch of, you know, mucky, garbogy parts of the lake. It's not the good part.

She's going to pull her out. She's going to look like Will Wheaton and stand by me covered with leeches. There's a leach on my crotch, Corey. The crotch leeches. I don't know how many people who are in this world that I would prefer not to remove a leach from my crotch. But one of them is definitely Corey. Corey Feldman. 100% Corey Feldman.

Yeah, fish poop, duck poop, goose poop. Oh, yeah, no. As far as I know, this is a, you know, a goose did this because goose are dicks and they stranded a duckling. I wouldn't put it past them, but I think it was, anyway, it ended up just being kind of cathartic. It was like this nice, I don't know, a moment of weird normalcy, but also joint effort, people working together toward a common cause, even though it was small and only encompassed 10 minutes it was just like a nice i don't know the nice thing man that's all just felt good so

somewhere out there uh mendoza's going yeah you did right by us johnson yeah me the flicking of the chin i think is a yeah what is this i think that's an italian bad thing it's kind of like the arm in the put in the hand i think i think he did the cheek Didn't he? Yeah. Did he do that? Didn't you do the cheek? Someone in the chat.

What is this chat? Is this offensive? Someone find out if you do this? Yeah, I think flicking the underside of the chin is a bad thing. It's an Italian FU. Yes. FU. If you, duck.

I don't, I mean, I'm not being very offended by it. So if someone else is offended, I apologize. But, you know. Jake, grab her that arm thing is not the sign for good morning. This, what is this? Because I remember this being. a thing. Yeah, when we were in high school, remember? Yes, right. And it was like, oh,

but you never, like, for the last 30 years, 40 years, have not, if not. Yeah, I felt like I went nowhere, but at the time, I mean, we were all about birds. Birds were great. We were all into the bird. And the bird persists, right? Everyone still loves the bird. Yeah, the bird is, you know, it's got an enduring quality to it. That means it'll never, it'll never go out of Vogue. But when we were in high school, this came, this came in for a bit. And then some kids would just add the bird to it so you'd go hurt and burn on bird on top of whatever this is but i don't

think that was the way the lord no no it's right it's yeah so i don't know it's all it's all it's all in american sign language though it is good morning is it really yeah which is oh wow according to this video that j k grammar just posted huh well jk grammar you and your video foo how can we deny it all right yeah no no i need advice i got a dog another dog this other dog this other dog her name is Ripley, Ellen Ripley. Yeah. And she knows that they shouldn't go back into the building or else they're going to be more aliens than just the one.

That's true. Anyway, she's a nice dog. We took her to the dog park yesterday. We love her. She's great. I think she's great. But in the last three or four days, something's happened.

She has horrendous paint-pealing death breath right now. Oh, God. Okay. Real bad. Like if she pants in your direction, you want to die. She's got rancid farts, again, akin to, like, you know, mustard gas, just the worst farts. She's not eating as much as she used to.

Like, she won't eat her whole bowl anymore. She'll eat, but not all of it. She used to just devour it. Now, she's sort of just me. Now, there was a semi-recent switch from chicken to beef. Same food brand. Just flavor change because Amazon was out of the stuff we normally get. Dry or wet food?

Dry food. Dry food. It's probably it, number one. I mean, well, how recent was it? It was like a couple of weeks ago, but this problem only started like a couple of days ago. Yeah, regardless of the food brand, the fact that you went from chicken to beef just means that our system's probably getting used to it, right? So that could explain the farts and maybe the not eating as well. Okay, so maybe it's a...

It might just be beef breath. Lennonade is so shocked that we have pet food. food shipped. Is that unusual for people? Why is that a big deal? Dry food from Amazon? That's what's the difference? Yeah, I don't know. You know, we haven't even considered that. We have a place here called, uh, well, it used to be called the Pa Emporium. Oh my gosh, dude, shut up. Is that true? And the, and all the, um, the vowels were replaced with little paw prints. Oh, that's just a horrendous idea. I hate it. Now it's a Chuck and Duns, which you hear the name Chuck and Don's and you don't think, oh, that's a place for pet food. You think,

Chuck and Don's, like a, I don't know, a restaurant or a tax attorney or something. Yeah. It's going to Chuck and Don's. Chuck and Don's. Yeah. It's got an interesting name. Okay, well, that's good. A good local.

I mean, I'm sure we could find some kind of local thing. But we have the, you know, it's just subscribe and save thing. Yeah, exactly. You probably get a really good discount if you're doing the regular subscribe and save thing, but you, but then you get this problem where when they're out of chicken, they send you beef. and this is the problem yeah and maybe that's it i mean it's all like i said it's been two weeks of the change but only a few days of the problem some in the chat are saying check her teeth and gums for like infections or weird stuff stuck or possibly yeah sometimes i can for the pet breath

and her and she's you know she's pooping okay but it's a little on the soft serve side you know just a little bit on the old uh hey macdonalds i have a cone kind of the broken broken soft serve machine yeah pretty a broken soft serve machine yeah pretty little broken soft serve A little bit, just a wee bit. Oh, I saw the funniest video about that. Yeah, I think I did too. Why is the, uh, do you mean the, the music one? The one that went back and forth?

No, it's a guy. Why is your machine always broken? Hey, bra. It's always always, I think it's not really broken. I'm coming in. You come in, we're going to have a problem. No, I want to see that one now. I didn't see that.

That was, I don't know, I don't know how that one made it to me, but it was, the one I saw, and there's still a chance it was faked. I don't know, but it was a video. of a dude in a drive-thru saying, hey, is your, is your ice cream machine working? Guy goes, yes, it's working fine. He goes, okay, well, I'll have a whatever cone, this and that. And then you hear this crash sound coming from the speaker.

And then the guy goes, it just broke or something like that. Now, he may have made it up, but if that's true, an ice cream machine breaking while you're in the, in the freaking drive-up is pretty great. That's great. Pretty great. It's like you're witnessing a, uh, solar eclipse. Right. I think that's hilarious. And also don't know if it really happened because

you can fake anything now. So I'm skeptical of all things. Dude, I'm a skeptic, Brian. That's what I am now. Right now I'm skeptical that this is even on the air. Can you guys even hear us? Are we real? Who are we? What are we even doing? Can you even hear us on the radio? Hey, TV Zagon, do you hear my voice? I don't know. You may be lying to me. Who knows? Oh, somebody, well, this is interesting. Weird article about all the McDonald's ice cream machines. A wired article. A wired article. Oh, I wrote, but it could be a weird article. By the way, I do have that video. It's funny, it's the same audio, which I guess is a TikTok thing, right? You just basically make your own new video to the same old. Oh, right. You can. Yeah, you can totally do that if you want. So here's, it's in our

Discord. I'll play that. Yeah, I'll totally play that. Here we go. And it's not working. Oh, yeah this. Here we go. Just taking it. Of course it isn't. Welcome to McDonald with you, whatever. Can I get an Oreo, May Flurrya? We're not serving ice cream

right now. It's broken at the moment. Can I get you something? Oh, I know you gonna say that. Let me go in in my seven and set the bag. So you gotta come down and accept that. I know your ice cream is you're working at a salt cap.

I'm not lying. It's broken. Well, it better be because I ain't coming in. And if you're coming, then I'll get your ass pin. And I'm going to fight you of ice cream then. What do y'all think who is going to win? Stop. Matt's playing over again. That's amazing.

TikTok. It's just horrible. It's so horrible and wonderful at the same time. Horrible and wonderful simultaneously. That's great. Yeah. Okay. I don't know that Captain Kipper,

I don't know that auto tunes the problem, but maybe. Yeah, that's a problem, but it's not the problem. That's maybe not the V problem. All right. You're absolutely right. Weird Al did it better, yes. No, I totally did. Brian, I got a question for you.

Yeah. This is from Logan. Not little Logan. From Logan's mom. I'm not like that. For many Logan. There's Logan in Utah there. There is, Logan, yeah.

Home of Utah State University. No, I mean, there's a listener named Logan who lives in Utah. I don't know if he lives in Logan, Utah, but. Oh, that'd be amazing. I hate it up there. The wind blows it so cold in the winter. I hate it, Logan. hate it. Right now it's probably nice, but in the winter, eff it. Anyway, hey, squash and

broccoli. I have a question for the major spoiler segment. The reason I'm playing it now is because I think Brian would probably know more. I recently watched the amazing Spider-Man movies, and one of the things I find most interesting about those movies is the plot line with the secrecy behind Peter's parents and the implied link between their work and Peter's powers. I was wondering if there was any good comic runs that delve into that, and whether or not the MCU will or should adapt any of that material. Love the show. Logan.

So, Brian, you've read a lot of Spider-Man. That's the series that I've read and collected the longest. Is there anything in there that tells you the, oh, uncle or grand band-mey? Okay, so Richard and Mary were Peter's parents.

Although what's really funny is if you Google Peter's parents, the first thing it says is Ben, Peter's father. It's like, no, he's. he's uncle. Great. The internet can't. Richard and Mary, yeah,

right away, everything's effed. But Richard and Mary are Peter's parents and they, um, in regular canon, they were,

uh, early agents of shield. Hmm. Um, who were killed by Baron Stricker, who he saw in like, um, Age of Ultron.

He's the guy with the one monocle. And in the comics he's bald, but in the movie, oh no, they think in the movies he's bald, but instead of the monocle being, attached to a chain it's like grafted onto his side of his head it's like bolted into his temple exactly yeah pretty cool um anyway so he he killed them there was a little bit of a resurgence

or not a resurgence but um a peter's parents are alive storyline in the 70s maybe 80s where uh but it turned out to be chameleon doing life model decoys oh right um that's a good point all right Two monocles, I guess, are just glasses. A single monocle. Okay, fair enough. He's not one of them, two-wheeled bicycles. Anyway, so they kind of stayed dead. Now, in the ultimate universe,

Peter's parents were involved more in, like, the science. They weren't shield agents, but they were more like, scientists who are working on stuff I don't think like in the movie I think it's his idea for the web shooters that Peter Parker develops Richards idea for the web shooter

does his dad's concept and he his dad's concept and then he he fleshed it out and made it real but I think that might have been a movie only a movie only thing but in the in the ultimate universe they were more involved in things that would have led to

Spider-Man's abilities or powers or things like that but in regular canon it's like an early like 68 1968 so just a few years

after the creation they had to give us a story about Peter's parents but they did a thing and I think that's where that graphic comes from that Captain Kipper just put in Discord

there's a untold stories of Spider-Man series and the very first issue oh not our Discord sorry in the chat you mean. Sorry, keep on. I'm sorry in the chat.

Sorry. Keep going. Um, uh, untold stories of Spider-Man actually had a big, long story about Richard and Mary Parker and their undercover operations for Shield. I think even the story where they die. And they get involved with a, another agent named Agent 10 who turns out to be Wolverie. What? Amazing how everything's connected. What? Oh, man. But Fox owns, just kidding. It doesn't matter. exactly so um whether or not that should be i don't think the uh i don't think the umc u should pull that stuff out because it just feels too coincidental right it feels like you know

peter parker's parents should be just dead just dead just so that he can you know his relationship with um aunt may is important and that's what and uncle ben obviously is what what sets him on the right path with everything. So if you start retconning his parents into the picture or any of that stuff, then it kind of... I tend to agree. I think you'll leave that one alone. Yeah.

It's two, it works in comics. And even then it's a little iffy, but in comic books, they can get away with screwing around like that. I feel like in films or specifically the MCU, you got to decide on a couple of things and then just hold. Like,

you know, is it vibranium? Bruce Wayne's parents, right? What if we found out, oh, my gosh, they didn't really die in that alley. They've been alive the whole time and hooked to a machine in central city. Right. But it's like, you know, Captain America Shield is vibranium in the films and in the MCU. But in the thing, it's, it's Wolverine material stuff, right?

It's adamantium, yeah. Yeah. I think it's vibranium. It might be vibranium now, but originally, I want to say it was. Right. But they couldn't do that because then they'd have to cross over the properties, which were owned by. No, Fox, did Fox own, Fox probably owned Adamantium, right? Probably, yeah.

I would assume, I don't know, because when they first came out with that shield. That's right. It's a 50-50 poly blend of al-vranium and adamantium. That's right. Always check your tags. Always check your tags before you buy your shield. And no. Only wash that shield in cold water else the colors will run all over everything else you wash with it.

Or use that shit. But was that stuff they advertised it to us when we were teenagers? It wasn't for us, but our parents. And it was called, it was something for Oh, for color stay, making colors stay? Yes, what was that called? Yeah, right. It was a special.

Woollight? No. Oh, it's a bleach, I think. Oh, is it? Okay. Oh, something really? Yeah, because you put that in there. Because the whole advertising campaign was about this guy going to work with a pink shirt.

Yeah. Pops from her client says, Aquinette. No, we don't mean hair stuff. That's a complete. That's airspray, man. Wool, is it Woolite? Oh, yeah, woolite was a hand-washed detergent. Maybe that's what I'm actually thinking of.

I thought Woolite was a bleach. Was there a woolite? Because wool-light, you did it in a sink, right? And you did it real careful because it was your cardigan or whatever. Yeah. I can't believe I remember any of that. Your cardigan. Maybe it was Woolite.

Maybe I'm thinking of something else that was bleachy. Whatever. The main point to take away here is, in the 80s, they really, really marketed things and you heard it all the time on TV and it worked because I can remember the name wool light all these years later. Well done, whoever owned that brand. Woolite. Well, as you can see, only works on wool. I believe, I'm with Brian on this. Don't do, don't do anything with his parents. Just, you know, he's orphaned. It's enough. Up until, and up until they, um, they cast Tom Holland. I actually thought Andrew Garfield was a,

was a decent Peter Parker, right? Yeah, I liked him. All right, this is good casting. He's got the nerdiness and the, um, he's believable as this wiery little kid who could kind of pull the stuff off. Yeah, he worked, but, um, I liked him. Yeah. It's a bummer because he just happened to, everything else about those movies, sadly.

Yeah, they weren't great. He just happened to come in at the wrong time. It was bad timing. Yeah. It's not his fault. We don't, uh, by the way, we've been watching, um, speaking of casting, we've been watching season two of Snowpiercer. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. And, um, Sean Bean is freaking awesome in this. Like, he is, uh... He's great. He is great in everything, but boy, is he, is he playing a dick? Oh, yeah. Big time.

Big time. You know he has to die, too. That's the rule. Right. It's the rule. Right. Exactly. It's, you know.

No, I get excited. Dude, all you have to do is say Sean Bean's involved in any project and I get all excited. Like, when I heard he was the narrator for Civilization Six about lost my mind. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. still love it. I still love to hear how does he die in there?

That's the thing. He never, he never does. How does he die as the narrator? We're waiting for the final DLC where he finally kicks the bucket in there. But it's great because when you introduce your, like, let's say you picked Teddy Roosevelt as your leader. Because that's who the American one is in that one. And it's just great because he's like, President Roosevelt, you've come at a time when the bibid-zib-de-boo. Bibidi-Bobbidi, I'm covering for this loading screen, so I'm saying a bunch of words. and it's fantastic. It's so good. He was a great pick for that. Well done, Hollywood.

All right. Yeah, yeah. Brian, we're going to do a thing we haven't been able to do it for three days. Oh, really? Okay. It's the news. Today's news is brought to you by. Scott, I hear that there's only one day left on the Rock Runner's Kickstarter. Tell me, what is this thing that I hear about called Rock Runners?

Well, Rock Runners Incorporated is a... a really fun, up to four players can play card game. And if you have family members or friends that are just like, man, we're sure bored on a Saturday afternoon. Oh, good, good, perfect. Get this deck and lay it out and play the game. It's fantastic. And we unlocked 10, count them 10 stretch goals,

none of which we thought we'd even get near to. I didn't think we'd do more than one or two, but we did. And the 11th is about to get cracked just in time because the Kickstarter ends Wednesday. And that means you've got, I think maybe less than 24 hours time or something to get in here. If you haven't done it already.

Is the new, is the current stretch goal, the Carter art stretch goal? It is. So if you unlock that, the 10th goal opened up these character cards, which I'm creating. The 11th goal gives you two sets of those, and one set is collectible art from Carter.

And we all know she's better than any of us. So this is why you want to unlock that one. She's really good. And she also just, she just finished her last school project. before graduation, and she's feeling very free and creative right now. So perfect time for it. Go check it out if you haven't yet.

There's video, there's updates, there's other stuff to help explain everything. It's all there for you to see for one more day, and that's over at kickstarter.com. Just search for rock runners or go to rockrunners. And it'll take you straight there. Very cool. All right, let's do so. I can ask you, by the way, before we get to do this first news story. Did Carter cry when you told her the duckling story?

No, she was thrilled that we did it. She would have made me if she would have been there, she might have shed a tear or two. Oh, yeah. It wasn't so bad. Oh, if she were there, heck with her phone, her purse, whatever. I don't think she doesn't seem like a purse kind of person. But she would have jumped in the water and rescued that duck. And who needs a net?

Yeah. She did shave her head again yesterday. I don't know what that was about, except it looks good. But she's sick of trying to grow her hair out, so she cut it and it looks great. She can pull that off. She can pull off the Shnade O'Connor pretty well. Yeah, yeah. The rest of us cannot do that here very well.

No, I tried it. I tried tearing up a picture of the Pope. It just didn't work. I had to explain to her that story because she'd never heard a Shenade O'Connor. I'm like, you know the song? Nothing compares to you is originally a Prince thing, but she did the cover that everyone knows. Oh, maybe. And I'm like, let me play it.

Mamexa, play the Bipa, play the Bipa, and she played a little bit. She goes, oh, well, what's her deal? She's bald. Carter, she shaved her head. Well, what's the part with the Pope? Oh, she tore the picture of the Pope up on S&L. Oh! Anyway.

You know, we said her name three times. She appeared in the chat room. Uh-oh. Was she in there now? Hey, Carter, you should put up your photo and show everybody your cool new hair. It's pretty rad. I'm not one to, like, you know, exploit my children's photos on the internet, but I think she looks great. Okay.

Where were we, Brian? Oh, first story here. Let's get to this beaver story. Beavers have chune, chune, they have chewed. Chune, past tense, chune. There's no way that's right. Definitely not right. Yeah, there's no way.

Chewed. Bevers chewed or chewed through a 4.5 inch thick tube. Wasn't a lava tube. Disrupting internet service for 900 British Columbian, or I'm sorry. Is this British Columbia? Yeah, I think so, yeah. Okay, good. Oh, yeah, Prince George and all that.

British Columbia customers. Oh, your internet went down. What? That guy was right. So the internet is a series of tubes? It's a series of tubes. Holy cow. That's my understanding.

I thought it was something else and we've been proven by a beaver that it is. It's a series of tubes. It's a series of tubes. Now, this isn't the newest story because, again, we haven't been able to do news for about a half a week. But here it is nonetheless. Tumblr Ridge, a four-hour drive northeast of Prince George with a population of 1,982 people are in the midst of what is now a two-day-long

tellus coverage outage due to damage to local fiber cables by resident wildlife. In particular, beavers. Never trust a beaver, dude. Never. Never trust a beaver. Yep. Don't trust a beaver. Here's why. They just want to build dams

and F up your internet, that's why. You screwed up your damn internet. That's right. Here's a quote. It feels very unusual and uniquely Canadian turn of event, says TELUS spokesperson, Liz Swahaw. Louis Suave

In an email Talking to her husband Yeah I was going to say Her and Rico Been married for years now Beaver's obchewed Through our fiber cables On multiple points

Causing extensive damage Read her statement Seems like you'd be more prepared for this But whatever Internet service for about 900 homes and businesses As well as cable services for 60 customers Were disrupted on Saturday April 24th just after 4 a.m.

Soon after crews were sent to investigate. They found that their safeguards don't all always work, and beavers are just doing what comes naturally to beavers. It says our team located a nearby dam. It appears the beavers dug underground alongside a creek to reach the cable, which is buried about three feet underground and protected by a 4.5 inch conduit or tube. Tube. Tube.

The beavers chewed through the conduit before chewing through the cables in multiple locations. They say they worked around the clock to get this fixed. and I guess it's all good now. You guys are good? Oh. When are you going to get the cable fixed day? I can't watch the Montreal Canadiens game. Oh, I played hockey last night.

That's funny to bring that up. Did you? I got in the mood, yeah. Game pass on my Xbox. They have NHL 2021 or I guess, whatever it's called. 2K21 or whatever it is. Anyway, it's a great hockey game, and I was playing hockey. And I love hockey.

Of all the sports video games, my favorite. I love hockey. That's cool. Very cool. Meanwhile, Iron Man and Marvel Avengers is somewhere still sitting there waiting for me to guide him through the next set of aim agents to kill. There you go. Get on that. Yeah, I will. Do you end up playing, what was the game you got with your PS5? No, you got it with your PS5. What was it? Oh, Assassin's Creed Val Hall. I did play that. Yeah, you, you finished it all and beat everything. Oh, completely 100%. Beat it, completed it. Uh, got the t-shirt. Yeah.

Got it. 100% of that game immediately. Uh, probably, uh, 20% of that game. But, that's not bad. That's a lot. But look, here it is right here. Yeah. Out of the box.

Yeah. A disc. A disc. I haven't owned a disc in so long. I forgot what they look like. All right. Moving on. Such a renaissance, man.

I know. Lo, I like it. You're keeping them alive. Here's the other thing with the, uh, here's the other thing. Can't find the damn pork. Can't find the hole on my PlayStation. There it is. Oops.

Oh. Turned it on by shoving a disc in its slot. Oh. Now why? Go back to sleep, PlayStation. Yeah. Kill code. That's right.

What's it? I forgot I was going to say. Oh, no. I like that you're single-handedly keeping physical media alive. I think it's fantastic. Single-handedly. There are a lot of you, it turns out. There's a lot more.

This was way cheaper on Amazon than buying the digital fur Avengers. I bought digital for I do that with Phoenix I do that with Nintendo all the time because they often have used Yeah for switches totally Because why keep a big stupid box

For such a little tiny cartridge I agree I think it's a retail thing right Because if you don't have something You can show off it on a retail space Then I mean I really Here's what it comes down to

I'll buy whichever is cheaper If you're saying the buying the disc is 25 bucks and buying a digital is 60, I'm going to buy the disc every time. Of course, yeah. Yeah, it's all the same. You're not wrong to do that. Yeah. Jerry Tolberg. And one more defense by the

labels still send me effing discs. Yeah, look at that. Labels and artists still send me discs for me in the middle. They don't send you like digital codes and stuff? I would have thought that would have been. Some of them do. Some of them do. But some of them do. But some

don't and I still have to have a drive hooked up for just that purpose. That's right. Brian's ever got a drive ever shooting a laser seeking out tracks. That's right, exactly. 1983 technology. Jerry Tolbert, he says the Xbox cloud gaming on iOS is fun. New round of beta access went out yesterday. Jerry,

you can't do invites, can you? Because I still not have an invite. I really want to try that. I mean, I love GamePass and I use it all the time. I love my series. X, but I haven't, I don't have a beta invite for the freaking cloud thing, and I want to try it on my phone and my tablet. I really do. So, hey, Jerry. I don't know why I'm putting it on him. He can't do me about it. Um, all right. And Lindenade asked, do they only send you cover songs? No, they send me, it's everything like that thing I just held up. There's not a cover song on there, but it's, um, uh, you know, it's music for any in the middle and stuff like that, too. It may be a band that. that originally sent me a cover song, but once they find out that I play regular stuff here, they send me whatever. Right.

And I'm just guessing that for smaller labels, the distribution system of just send them a disc is probably still easier. I guess. I don't know. It seems a lot cheaper to drop a link in an email, but maybe there's a... I think there's a copyright problem there. Maybe, yeah, multiple emails can get forward around really easily.

I don't know. Yeah. Or you got to have, you know, a back end that's like super authenticateable. and then only one copy can go. You know, like it just gets complicated, I think. I could be wrong. All right. A man.

Let's get to a man. A man. Oh, I just saw a movie where the main character played by an Oscar-winning actor. His credit in a film is, man. I saw that. An Oscar-winning actor who may have thrown a phone at an assistant or something at one point. Is that going to be your recommendal tomorrow? It was going to be that animated thing, but I heard that Nicole's doing that.

So I'm going to let her have at the Mitchell's versus machines. I'm going to let you have that, Nicole. And I'll do the other. She's got to show up. If she doesn't show up, then you're using it. Oh, good point. If she doesn't show up, I'm doing both. That's what's happening.

Yeah, exactly. I'll tell you right now. All right, a man not played by Russell Crow, finished a 480 mile hike in a bear suit and later described the stench inside his costume. Does he? I think he needs to describe the stench inside. I feel like that might be why this story got to me. Somebody sent this to me.

Probably, yes, exactly. Yeah, some fan was like, oh, you'll love it. He just has a stinky suit. Jesse Lerrios walked almost 500 miles, and he'd walk 500 more. Just a bee. From Los Angeles to San Francisco in a bear suit. His trek began at 6 a.m. on April 12th in the Little Tokyo neighborhood in Los Angeles. The goal was to finish the walk in less than a week.

He wrote on his Instagram page. I took a little longer than planned, but he celebrated his finish with a crowd of people as he reached his final destination on Saturday at the Golden Gate Bridge. Quote, everybody look. There's the bridge, he told followers on his Instagram live account. Everybody look. Everybody look. Larius raised almost $16,000 on GoFundMe as well as another 2K on Venmo and via cash donations, according to the San Francisco Chronicle. he plans to donate it all to charity and as asked followers to suggest where the money should go i think that's pretty cool

according to the newspaper larios a 33-year-old data worker at a health care company made the journey carrying just his phone a few toiletries socks and a flashlight ugh um he also curious socks yeah socks i don't know that's weird you don't want to go barefoot oh i get it i get it uh touchdown Ladies and gentlemen. No, but seriously, why socks? Yeah, I don't know. I don't get it. I don't get it.

Okay. Unless it's maybe, I don't know, just to soften the foot part of the bear suit, I don't know. I don't know. I guess so. It's a long walk, so who knows, probably in a cushion thing. I mean, if he's wearing the socks, that's a different thing. They say he's made the journey carrying just his phone a few toiletries socks in a flashlight. I guess maybe you run into the red hot chili peppers.

Oh, yeah, and you need a wiener sock. You need a wiener sock. Yeah, everybody needs a wiener sock at the ready, even a bear. He says, he also carried some cleaning supplies for his costume, a teddy bear character he created named Bear Son. I don't know why that's the thing. Bearson. Bereson. Bereson.

I don't know. That's weird. It's not, I'm looking, his name is Jesse Leria, so it's not like it's a play on his own name. But Berson, like Benson, I guess maybe? I don't know. Benson. Some cleaning supplies for his costume. Berson.

After completing his journey, he described the smell inside the costume as pungent. Like when you first open a bag of Doritos and that fart smell comes out. Oh, I don't, I think hold off on the Dorito hate. I like this. Yeah, well, I guess there's one person that, the one company that's not going to sponsor your next trek, yogi. Yeah, no, but Doritos smell good in the bag. It's when you smell like Doritos, that's a bad smell. Only that.

Yeah, exactly. Ugh, that's gross. That's what I used to call. That's puberty. that's puberty boy foot smell. So when you got like a, not just boys, but I just always have this very vivid memory of being around 12 myself and friends smelling,

their feet like sleepovers, smelling like Doritos. And then Nick, when he was around 12, his feet smelled like Doritos. And it's foul because that's not Doritos. Like if it was Doritos, I go, oh, Doritos. But it's not, it's, oh, Nick's foot. It's knowing what that smell

is coming from that is like, oh, that's gross, but if you open a bag and smelled that exact same smell, that would be fine. Yum, give me one. I do like the term Dorito feet. I think it's funny. Still have maybe a third of a bag of fishball snack. Yeah, I wish I could say that.

I ate them all. Got to eat them all. Well, there wasn't much in there. And that's probably, I can't read the back of this thing, but it's probably one serving size. Well, there you have it. One more story here before we take our break and bring Justin And then there's a story about a man who allegedly boasted about his capital riot on January 6th attendance on his dating app or on a dating app and then got arrested as a result because he's stupid.

Imagine that. Yeah, these guys couldn't help but live stream and post photos on Instagram and, yeah. If you think about that just for a second, your brain starts to fall apart because it's already, everything about it's shitty, right? all of it's shitty but I'm going to wear a mask and dark glasses cover up my face but hey like and subscribe here's my link everybody make sure to check me out as I storm the capital and they're doing like yeah like literally doing live streams like I don't know what to call it you know you could say well that's just the epitome of of people who feel like they can get away with anything a privilege I guess there might be a part of part of it right like they're you know

a lot of them were even saying during the event that, don't worry, Trump will protect us or Trump will pardon us or whatever. But then there really is just the people who don't make the connection that your anonymity is only good as far as the end of your social media account. Yep. Yep. Once it crosses into the other one, then, yeah. To me, it's the stupidest thing. I just still, to this day, I cannot believe it. The greatest example of Darwin.

Well, I guess unfortunately, these people still can go and procreate. Well, part of the problem was, I'll just put this out there. When you're that brazen about it and you're taking selfies and you're filming it and you're streaming it, it might be because a certain person in power, it seemed like that person was behind you all the way. So you felt like you had the coverage of at the time. He had your back. Yeah. Yeah, he didn't really, but he didn't talk like he did.

And so as a result, maybe they just really felt that way. Like, they really felt like, oh, well, he's with us. He even said he'd be down here arm and arm with us, which he wasn't. But he said he would be at that final speech that set everybody off. So he'd probably all just like, yeah, we're good. We got this. Look at all the people he's pardoned. He'll totally pardoned us.

Wait, what? He isn't? It's really shitty. No. It's such a garbage moment in our history. In a lots of ways. not just the treasonous ways. Like, that's the awful, right?

But also, it's just so stupid. It's so stupid. And people died. It's lame. Yeah. Have we, I haven't properly gone off about this, I guess, on the show. And I won't now. I'm just going to say, it was stupid.

And there was a dude walking off with a podium waving at the camera. Yeah. Yeah, it sucked. And another dude dressed like Jamiriqui. Yeah. And Jemiriqui, I think he's in jail right now. And upset that they don't have meatless options at the camera. the jail he's in. That's right. And the walls keep moving in and he keeps dancing around.

There's like a couch that keeps going back and forth. I hate that video. Are you kidding? That's the greatest video. I don't like that video. How do you hate that video? I don't know why I don't like it. I just don't like it. It's so cool because you think that like the, the chat room things we're really saying Jamiriqui is in jail. We're talking about the Q&on shaman. The shaman guy. Right. He just looked like him. That's all. that was. Yeah.

He just dressed like, he dressed like the J. Mariqui band symbol. They're really using of a guy named J.K., who's the lead singer

of J.K. C.M. Last name, Grammar. We know who he is. That's right. His name is J.K. Grammer.

I know. It's all coming together. Holy shit. All right. We're going to take a, that's the whole story, by the way. The guy bragged about being.

Oh, yeah. On a dating app. Yeah. The storm, he helped storm the capital because he's, all super proud of it and then he got arrested. Swipe right into jail. Yeah. Swipe right for jail. Swipe left for jail also.

All right. We're going to take a break when we come back. Justin Robert Young will join us. Got a little Caitlin Jenner business I want to talk about, but some other stuff too. So stick around. That'll be right after this song selection from the vault of Brian Abbott. Oh, oh, oh, a song. Okay. Hey, big thanks to earshot media for this one. This is so cool. So, listen, Cameron Webb is a guy who, you know, has produced a bunch of the great ones, right? Sum 41, Pennywise, Motorhead, Megadeth. He's also producing the new EP, or produced, the new EP from Authority Zero, another great new punk band. These guys are awesome.

They got a brand new EP called The Back Nine. Listen, I don't have to tell you how cool Authority Zero is because you've probably heard them. You're already familiar. This is from their brand new EP. It's the title track. It's called The Back Nine here is Authority Zero. People would believe I've lived my dreams. Some shatter, twisted, and buckled at the knees, I've fallen down.

My ghost come back to haunt some days. I paid the prize for every stone I turn with lessons learned hard ways. Just goes to show. I don't know anything at all or so I'm told. But this I know taking my hands and I'm making for more. And I don't want to talk about it. They aches me sick, but I can't live without it. Try eyes me crazy, no two ways about it.

I act like it don't face me, trying to sort it out. In hindsight, maybe I'll never be alright. I take my time because I can't live without it. Well, that's just life on the back nine. I've listened to advice Dissected every word that said I've rolled the dice And taken for every single sin

I count the hour ticking minute, seconds Voices in my head Rolled up my sleeves Played make believe with this roulette Just goes to show I don't know anything at all And that's for sure But as I've grown taking my head said

I'm begging for more If I-ia-e-ia-I-I-I-I don't want I talk about it It makes me sick But I can't live without it Try I ask me crazy No few ways about it I ask like it

Don't face me Try and sort it out In hindsight Maybe I'll never be alright I take my time because I can't live without it Well that's such fun from the back night I've seen Just can't leave without it

Inhale And tail Don't you wings around this I've seen some things Ask me next to most anything Can't tell I Awaken every single dream Blow me on my eye

Strike out again But feeling fine Another round Chuffle your cards And deal out Life's too short to play your small head Nothing good in like I'm teasing And I, aye, aye, I don't want to talk about it

May it makes me sick, but I can't live without it Try, aye, I ask me crazy, no two ways about it I act like it, don't face me, strong and sorted out in hindsight Maybe I'll ever be alright I can't leave without it Well, that's just right I'm not bad bad night Yeah, that's just life on the bad night

Yeah, that's just life on the bad night Yeah, that's just life on the bad night If there's anything I like Express, it's my, well, it's my VPN. Look, have you ever wondered why internet access is so much cheaper these days? Like 30 to 40 bucks a month? Well, it's because internet service providers, like Comcast, AT&T, or whoever, aren't just making money off subscription fees. They're also making money from spying on your internet activity and selling your history and data to big companies. usually big tech companies.

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And visitors can always stay protected. I can't stress this enough. ExpressVPN is so simple to use. You just open up the app, tap one button, you connect, and that's it. That's my favorite thing about the service. The simplicity is insane. Your data is your business. Protect it at expressvPN.com slash TMS. That's expressvpn.com slash TMS to get three extra months free of ExpressVPN protection. That's expressVPN.com. Let me spell. tell it for you, eXP-R-E-S-V-P-N.com slash T-M-S to learn more. Count Yorga Vampire continues after these short messages. I found you on the internet. The morning stream, smooth, flowing, flowing, And Unbroken. Scott Fletcher's right.

We are smooth flowing and unbroken. Thank you for 10, sorry, 11 years of that. Are true. Yeah, yeah, it's all true. Hey, Brian, that song again, if you don't mind. That song again, Authority Zero from their brand new EP called The Back Nine. That right there is the title track. Oh, that sounds real good.

That song I just heard. Really sticking me. with me. Oh, really sticks with you. You know, I'm still singing it in my head from just listening to it. Yeah, I can't, I can't not hear it. Honestly. Yeah, it's all I can hear. Check this out. These are their stories. Oh, I'm terrible with names. Joining us from Austin, Texas. I'm getting used to saying this now. It's no longer slipping into Oakland, California anymore. But somebody who doesn't have to worry about a runoff to remove a governor right now at the moment, Justin Robert

Robert Young joining us from the PX3 studios. Hello, Justin. A recall. A recall. A recall. Recall. Runoff. It's funny.

You said runoff because I'm working on the PX3 episode for tomorrow before I started. There's another runoff. And I'm like, wait, are we talking about that too? Oh, wait. The runoff in Texas or the recall in California. What's the runoff? Just briefly, what's that about?

I didn't know there was one. That's, you know, we can get in the weeds. But Fort Worth, Texas, around that area, there was a special election over the weekend and there will be a runoff now that will be between two Republican candidates as a Democrat was unable to break into the top two positions and so therefore there there will be no Democratic offering in the runoff as it stands. Oh, gotcha. Okay. So that sounds like a fun local nightmare. Yeah, it became a thing because Trump stepped in and there was a

candidate that was running as like a never Trumper who did not do well at all. And then there was guy who keeps saying that he's a WWE wrestler when he never really was on television as a WWE wrestler who also had previously like months ago just run for a seat in Nevada that he lost and then just came to Texas and he's like, I'm in Texas now. I really want to go to Congress. Wait a minute. Isn't it easy to prove if somebody's been on a WWE thing? That seems like a very easy thing to disprove. Yeah. Oh, it was not a secret. Like he was like, yeah. In fact, he ran in part saying that Trump had endorsed him for the Nevada race. Oh.

And so he was like, I was the, I'm the only person in this race to get an endorsement from Trump. And then Trump endorsed one of the other people. Oops. That's how that stuff would go if you're not careful. Now that you're in the Lone Star State, any, do you think Matthew McConaughey is really going to run for governor at some point? Yeah, this seems like it's a, no, really?

Okay. No. Interesting. My wife reading his book right now, and it made me remind me to ask you that, because I guess he's, you know. I don't know. I don't really know. Maddie McGonet sure likes talking about politics. It's not like Texas is foreign to the idea of celebrities or non-politicians running. Texas does fetishize on some level its ability to be mavericks and think outside the box. McConaughey is certainly of that ilk. I think he would be somebody that would probably be best qualified

as a centrist-leaning Democrat, I guess. But no, I think he would much rather just be Matthew McConaughey and actually run for office. I think you really have to not like your current gig to run for political law.

Yeah, to give it up. for something like that. It needs to feel like that. Oh, the rock's going to run. The rock's going to run. It's like the rock I might buy because he also like willingly wakes up at 2.30 every morning and eats 50,000 calories. So he can look like a four dozen eggs. Yeah. Yeah. Person. So it's like he obviously has some level of like dedication and sacrifice that goes beyond those of mortal humans. So I could understand him saying like. Yeah. No, I'd rather. He really likes acting. Yeah. I mean, I can't. Oh. sure yeah but that that's my my thing is like i the the rock makes some level of sense only because he already doesn't enjoy the acting life the way that every other action star does right okay all right every other action star you know every once in a while there's going to be a shot of them and us weekly with a beer gun right because like they they in in the time between fast and the furious movies jason state and will just you know have sex with models and and uh a

do cocaine in Abiza and do backflips off a megach or something. Like the rock is no matter what at any time constantly, he's either on set or he's eating raw protein or he's lifting weights. Yeah. Those are kind of his three states. Sometimes all three at once. That's kind of his thing. And he also strikes me as somebody who if he says, he says, if he says things like, well,

I'm concerned about civic life. I believe him. Like, I believe that guy really believes that because, again, he's motivational bill. Like, he's just, everything's just do it, do it, do it, do it. And eat all the eggs and pump all the iron and make all the movies and buy my mom a mansion. I don't know. I mean, I'm not here to tell you. If there's anything that anybody listening to me should take is that never trust or believe a politician. Like, that's a dumb thing to do. Never think that of any politician at all. so i don't know whether or not he's true to his values what i do know is he's got the dedication to actually utilize what a celebrity candidate can do which is more easily draw attention

the the problem is when you think you can do it on the schedule that you promote a movie or you promote a television show or you plug fat or a flat tummy t on your instagram that is not the case in politics it is every day every 12 hours you have to be out there talking about a thing mixing things up that's how fundraising works that's how the political news cycle works the rock is somebody that i think could do it in a way that i don't think i think matthew mcgonahe would get like three days into a political schedule and then you'd be like i don't know man i think we need to you think this you're not wrong you're not his book my wife's reading me passages from his book. I don't know why she's even reading it. Her brother recommended it. And it's weird because

everything she says, you can't but help hear him do it in the way he does anything. In his voice. Yeah. Even her saying it. And she's not doing an impression. I still can hear it because it's just so him. Which makes me, you know, if you're worried about him not being the one that wrote the book, I got good news. He may have had help, but it sounds like him reading it. All right. Justin, I want to, I'm going to play a clip, and then we're going to talk about this clip, okay? This is a little bit last minute, but here it is about, I don't know, 45 seconds or so. Let's get into it. I want to prove that it is absolutely possible if we only do it together.

California, it's time to reopen our schools, reopen our businesses, reopen the golden gates. So I don't care if you're a Republican Democrat. I'm running to be governor for all California. to reclaim our true identity, to bring back the gold to the golden state. I'm waiting for the big ending here, this big ending. Now is the time to achieve that summit, to be the shining city on the hill, and together we'll restore and renew the California dream. It's about what happens from here.

It's not just about one person. It's about all of us. Boy, that is some Bruckheimer bullshit there at the end. That's pretty strong, pretty strong Hollywood there. All right. Caitlin Jenner, running for governor. Well, not running for governor, doing a recall. I guess you're running either way, right?

Like a recall is just another run, just off schedule. That is a gubernatorial campaign. Just a reminder for everybody, the California recall operates on a single ballot two question system, wherein you are asked, do you want to recall the current governor of California, Gavin Newsom, yes or no? If yes, then who would you like to replace them? The person that replaces the governor, if yes, wins is the person with a simple majority.

Don't need to have a plurality. Don't need to be over a certain threshold. If everybody got 3% and you got 4%, congratulations, Mr. or Mrs. Governor. Yeah. And do you think now this is official, and this feels like a, you know, a sweeping dramatic entry, any chance that Caitlin Jenner wins this? Do you think she's got what it takes in a 2021 world to grab the world by the collar and say, I'm a Republican transgender person and I'm in here to win it? Do you think this is going to work out for her or what? Um, I mean, again, anybody's ability to beat Gavin Newsom in the recall is going to depend on whether or not they can sow enough doubt in his job that they can get a majority of those who go out to vote to vote no, uh, that he does need to be recalled.

So in that case, no matter what, whoever is running needs to pile on. And in my opinion, there needs to be fresh problems by the time that this vote. comes around in the fall so there needs to be things that go wrong in california up to and including blackouts wildfires riots what have you i think that there needs to be other signs of gavin newsome uh decaying uh california mostly because the things that people were most upset about him about are are getting better now now you can criticize what went on during that time but now you know schools are are reopening businesses are reopening i believe in my old neighborhood this week would be the first time that anybody would be able to go and just sit indoor at a bar and have a drink because it has moved into that tier so i think that's just going to lighten

the mood for a lot of people that being said for kately jenner specifically she she's an interesting concept of a candidate if you believe that the identitarian issues that are that run very deep in a state that effectively

is a one party rule there are so many more registered Democrats than Republicans in California that effectively you can't run as a Republican candidate in California if you are a republican you kind of de facto have to run as an independent candidate that being said i don't think that she quite has the the work ethic unlike the rock uh she is is far past the point where i think she's waking up and and eating 14 raw eggs and then pumping iron and and

doing that kind of stuff so i don't quite know where katelyn's discipline is to run. She announced about a week and a half ago and then didn't really say anything until both this announcement and then an almost assuredly planted TMZ appearance where she decided to step in the middle of the transgender sports debate. And that is something where I really don't think that's a play for her in California. It seems to me more of a play for her for her to kind of enter into the national consciousness of conservative pundits and and she is tailor made for that because it is obviously a complication for a straight identity and political lines of of you know the idea that that democrats own the concept of of all trans issues she

is you know obviously a complication to that but i don't know if that really plays or makes a difference in California. And are there any other people that I just haven't noticed who have also stepped up to this and said I want a piece of this recall? And is the reason I haven't heard? No one that you've heard of. There's a couple of California

Republicans who are effectively the Washington generals to the Democrats Harlem Globetrotters that just constantly take elves as if they are going to return them back to the recycling plant for a five cent donation. One of them, I believe, John Cox is his name. He is going to announce his candidacy while next to a live bear

in Sacramento this week. Are we sure it's not a guy dressed as a bear? We don't know. We don't know. All we know is that his logo is a roaring bear and he has promised in his press release that it is a live bear. If he's the guy in our stories today, Brian, we will know him because he'll smell a call back to a dude who walked from L.A. to San Francisco in a bear costume. And he smelled like Doritos. It's not like ass. Yeah. I could only imagine.

It was pretty, pretty bad. Well, all right. So I heard something about, what's his name? Quaid, Randy Quaid running.

Is that true? Do you know if that's the thing? He's got to leave Canada first. Isn't he still up there next time? Yeah. You have paid more attention than many people I've known ever. You certainly have a fascination. with Randy Quaid and his modern world of missives that he issues online.

Oh, 100%. Do you think that Randy Quaid is going to run? Oh, here it is. Okay, Newsweek says, well, their article is here are Randy Quaid's California and governor odds compared to Caitlin Jenner's, but Randy Quaid said, oh great, it's in a tweet. I promise that if elected, I will clean up the district attorney's offices throughout the state, says Randy Quaid for governor he claims he's running

and that he's seriously running for governor let's remember that there is a line between celebrity candidates and then people that would actually win Arnold Schwarzenegger like the Rock you know somebody that I believe had a unique element of dedication and discipline that made him a natural

politician he found the right slipstream with a very unpopular governor in Gray Davis where they had the power failures and the brownouts that really kind of put him in a vulnerable position that led to his recall. But I think that the vast majority, if you remember that race, the vast majority of those candidates,

you know, like Mary Carey the Porn Star and a few other fringe celebrities, Gary Coleman, I believe, ran. He did. Those were more along the Randy Quaid. Like people that are going to be able to say, I'm running for governor because it doesn't take a whole lot of money. He should be, if he doesn't get the main deal, he should be her running mate.

Then he can be a lieutenant governor. And then when people say, can we talk to the governor and if her schedule's full, he can say Jenner's full. That's a terrible joke. I went a long way to get to and I'll never tell it again. Hey, anyway. You feel way more confident dancing around any K.O. Jenner's category than I do. Hey, look, the bottom, I am, I am doing my best. I feel like I've been studying this landmine chart for months.

And like, I am, I am convinced that like I got, I have like in my head the old like dance step like the 90s. Like the dotted line type chart, like I am, I am, oh boy, am I not anything that I get in trouble for for any kind of Caitlin Jenner commentaries because I mean to try and get in trouble. Hold on for the record. That was a joke about a Christmas vacation and him saying shitter's full. So I don't know why that was a... So you're saying that Caitlin Jenner is a shitter. No, I'm saying her schedule's full. These are the kinds of things that you're putting yourself in the line of possibly being interpreted with.

And I am not. That was not. I'm not saying that you screwed up. I'm saying that you're braver than I. Okay. That's fair. That's fair. All right.

Tally in the chat, never seen a vacation movie. Well, then good. make sure we talk about that um all right uh well there you have it it's uh looking it's looking weird in california and i'm excited about it because these are fun to watch yeah i'm i guess the one thing that you would say is with that video you can you can get a sense that she's got some degree of money behind her um she's in a position where she needs to act more and be more normal if that makes sense and I don't mean

that in any way other than the fact that she comes she comes from the Kardashian the bombastic Kardashian universe and so Caitlin is going to have to ground herself

more in a leadership kind of role be seen in leadership roles if she is to be taken seriously the other question is just you know where is that constituent? city you know how many people or you know democrat and republican see her as somebody that

should be in leadership. That's that is a very open question. I'll be very curious to see polling. Yeah. Some people on the chat are surprised that she would run as a Republican, but some of that video and that ad is straight out of the Republican National Convention, I think, or some year or another. I thought it was 2016. But she was a pretty avid Trump supporter for a long during his presidency. She was a little upset at him toward the end, but, yeah, she's, she's a conservative. And the last time someone else asked, when's the last time California had one? Zarnie, right?

I think. And he wasn't, a, a Republican governor or a trans governor? No, a Republican governor never happened. No, a Republican governor, not a trans governor. For a Republican trans governor, he has to go really far back. Well, unless Arnie has something to tell us about, I don't know. But as far as I know, the last Republican governor was... No, no, no, no.

The last Republican governor was Schwarzenegger. And look, California has a lot of the same makeup as, like, New York. It is effectively a one-party rule state. Like, they don't have a functional opposition party in California. So recall is the most realistic way. that you could have somebody from the opposition get into power. But I'm curious that you would look at that ad

and see it as particularly partisan. I mean, aside from her attacking Newsom, it seemed fairly, you know, if you took out Caitlin Jenner and put in generic Democrat, I feel like it would run largely like the same ad it was fairly stock like rah rah we can do it

boy are we great but lately something else has made us not great like scary piano music like but I think we're also great and then like sunshine stock photo and like broom like and then

a bunch of images of other stuff that it's totally unrelated to her campaign like and that's why i'm gonna do a thing and i need your and then it's usually a lot of montages of like a bunch of people like like looking in different like races and colors and ages and like they're like your your you're your your health like that's pretty much every political slow motion family you know smiling at the camera yeah running and giving a thumbs up about something uh superimposed uh 50-50 o past flag.

Yep. Because, you know, if you even listen to the ad, she doesn't really even say Democrat. No. Well, at one point she says, I don't care if you read. And that's really what she says. She says career politicians did this to us.

Right, right. Not Democrats did this. She does at one point say, I don't care if you're Republican or if you're a Democrat, I want to change. So there is, there's clearly an effort in this thing to say, you know, to a a avoid whatever you know stating out loud whatever party you are or what party you're opposed to and more just say this is a problem for everybody and so i'm the one to fix it no matter who you are or whatever like that that is you know uh the the the the the katelyner campaign is is trying to run something that is beyond modern you know uh positions like she and obviously look like she didn't mention Trump. She didn't mention

anything that has happened recently. Like, like, the story she is attempting to tell is one specifically about California and specifically about the fact that, you know, these same politicians come in and, and make these decisions. And that's why

the state has a problem. Right. And I guess what she's hoping is that Democrats are like, yep, it's these same politicians and Republicans are like, yep, it's the Democrats. Yeah, that's kind of how this stuff goes every time. Well, we'll see how it goes. It'll be a fun side show for people not in the state that don't have to worry about it as much. But we can kind of watch it from a far. That is going to be the big event for this year. Like, that is, that is going to be the big election that happens nationwide that people are going to pay attention

to. The real question is, and now it looks. unlikely as things in California have rebounded a bit was whether or not a Democrat was going to run because a Democrat running would be would be very, very interesting to challenge Gavin Newsom. The other side was because remember

if Newsom is recalled there is the question from the state party of whether or not you need its malpractice if you do not put a Democrat amongst that list of candidates that that that would be voted on later.

So it's like, all right, well, even if, like, if Newsom's not here, like, should we also have, you know, somebody else that is, that is, that is on there. And we have yet to see any kind of decision on that. Yeah, that's interesting. And think about that. Because the default position is, well, we like our guy who's in. And you're, you're all the ones challenging him. So we're going to back him as a party because he's our guy and he's in already. And that's the thing.

but if it's a if it's a really contested field then yeah you are doing yourself a disservice by not having a backup plan I guess I don't know I've never even I didn't even think about that until you just said it that's interesting because in my head I'm thinking that that that is a decision

that they are going to have to make going forward but yeah man I can't wait I want to I want to get out there I think the more I talk about it I think I got to do a live show back out there that's great recall night do it that'd be really fun do it I would watch that and I look forward to State Attorney General Randy Quaid

joining the fray. It's going to be great. Who would you like to say? Is there a a celebrity you'd enjoy entering the race? Well, we mentioned the rock and I would like to see that. I like I like the rock. I actually have some some Pollyannish sort of belief that he'd be a pretty good leader in some sort or another. Can I ask why? I don't know. I think he I mean, you can't ask. I don't know if I can give you a good answer.

Here's my answer. I don't know if it's good. Yeah. I think that dude is super motivated to get shit done. And yes, it might right now be make your muscles bigger and make your movies bigger. Gaines. Gaines, right. Cut taxes on raw eggs.

But I think there's something about his personality that. tells me at least in the context of the of the world of politics he would try really hard to like do good stuff for people and like I said it's a polyanish attitude I understand the politics are you aware that that is almost exactly the appeal that books have to Trump uh no I'm not aware of that because because it is 100% okay well I understand that but not 100% because last I checked no you can think they're wrong no no what I'm saying is what I'm saying is we don't have we don't have a long history of let's just you know I don't want to go down the whole list but I didn't ever hear the rock say he's going to grab anybody by the pussy

I didn't hear rock well we didn't hear about that about Trump until he was well into running and people were already kind of behind him so the question would then be let's say you had all those feelings and you were really backing the rock and then there was was some recorded audio from backstage at a smackdown taping in Anaheim, California in 1997, where The Rock was making some really lewd comments like, would you, would your opinion change? Yeah, it would. It would tell me that his character is different than he's portrayed up till now. And it would really, it would really bum me out.

Yeah, it would change. Of course, of course it would change. that's my whole point with the with the whole Trump thing do you you you if it doesn't bug you no I actually don't even want to go down this word but mostly because I think that the only the thing that I was trying to draw a circle around was like that that what you just described this this innate idea and it might be beyond even actual reason that somebody's public persona is indicative enough of their actual personality like that is that is part of all celebrity candidates right and and and our brains fill in that assurity for many many different reasons uh but certainly was the case for for trump who had projected himself as a a no nonsense businessman and so people believed uh maybe if he wasn't pure of heart. He was, he was pure of, of mind and he would cut the BS. Yeah, I get, I, I agree with you on all of those points, but you asked me who I would like, who would

I pick if I had to pick somebody of this ill to run. So I gave you a name and then you said, now you realize that's just like Trump, like that was a trap you put me in right then. I, no, no, no, I, I, that was fun trap. I enjoyed my time in the trap. I, I, I, I, no, no, no, you're, you're misremembering how we got here. We got here because you said, I have a Pollyannish idea of what I believe the Rock's leadership qualities would be. And I just wanted to get into that, mostly because, again, I do think that there are similarities to all celebrity candidates. And I think Trump is probably the biggest example of a celebrity candidate. And that view of like, oh, I just kind of think they've got it going on is alienating to people of when you're looking.

on the outside of it because it is hard to explain it's hard to understand and uh that's that's my only point yeah no it's a good point i agree with that point uh it turns out i just think it's funny how we got there uh we're going to follow this uh thing real close over there at politics politics politics yeah that's right px3 everybody check it out make sure you do you mention what you were doing this week but mention it again so people know what they're tuning in for uh we are talking Trump. We don't normally talk Trump these days on on PX3, mostly because I don't think he is relevant until he affects races either through money endorsement or an announcement of his own candidacy. However, we do have some of those elements that have bubbled up over the last

few days. There was this race out here in Texas that I'm going to break down for everybody, including the first kind of hint of what our modern political meta might indeed be. There is some retribution for Trump opponents up in Washington, D.C., including an ever-evolving situation with Liz Cheney, who may or may not lose her job in Republican leadership over the next few hours, and an interview with senior Politico writer Michael Cruz about a race out in Ohio that is yet another Trump enemies list contest where one of the representatives

that voted for his impeachment is now up for re-election and he is facing a very Trump-centric and positioned challenger that is all on PX3. Go ahead and find it where all politics or podcasts in general are found. That sounds good. Justin R. Young on Twitter.

We'll see you next week. Bye now. The jury will now return. Oh, damn it. The jury will now retire. Good enough, good enough. It's okay. Late is better than not at all, right?

Mm-hmm. That's not our attitude. Better late than never, I believe, is how the phrase... I will say this one thing about Caitlin Jenner that is nothing to do with any of this. And it has nothing to do with her trans status or any of that. Mm-hmm. Before the transition and before any of this, she got a nose job.

And I think she needs her money back. I don't mean it looks bad, okay? It looks fine. But that plastic surgery has made it so she can barely breathe and she sounds like she's having a really hard time getting breath in. And that's all I'm saying. I'm saying go back and get your money back. Go back to the nose guy and say, hey, I sound like I can barely get air through this thing that you gave me. I'd like either a better nose or I would like my five grand back or whatever was.

She paid for it. That's all. That's all I'm saying. I agree. That's the, well said. Yeah, I guess it's a bad nose. It's not a good nose. It's a bad nose.

It's a bad nose. Yeah, it's just a bad nose. A picture of voice in horrible ways. It just really, really bums me out because I know, I know behind that nose. And our nose has so much to do with how we speak and how we sound. And I don't know. It's just not good. So get a better nose.

I'm just saying, you're going to get a fake nose. Get a good nose. Oh, you're good. You're good. If you said, if you said to me, I'm going to get a replacement knee, I would say, Brian, get the best replacement knee you can get. That's what I would say.

Yes, and I'd end up with the nose is the problem. Sticking out of the middle of my leg. Yeah. Well, look, I'm not against body augmentation. Just get a better one. All right. Hey, quick email here from Jeff Sire in Canada, from Ontario, our good pal, Jeff,

who I think may have just motorcycled past Colorado. I saw some photos. Oh, really? Oh, well, thanks a lot, Jeff, for not swinging by to say hello. It may have been like an old, like, Facebook memory, and I read it wrong, but I saw that and went, oh, cool. And then I didn't he call? It could be it, too. Yeah, I don't know.

Anyway, he wrote in, says, Smoochie and Boochie. I worked last night, or I worked nights last night. Woke up mid-afternoon and looked at my updated podcast feed and saw three title, or saw, sorry, saw the title of today's show, Jeff's kiss. I was struck with anxiousness. This is a few days ago. Yeah. I'm not prone to bouts of terror or it might have been, it might have been terror. My wife is currently dealing with kidney stone issues, so I'm attempting to be extra nice

and thoughtful to her. You know, sincerely, I try to throw that around when I can. So I've been sending her text and smiley faces and short emails telling her I wish I could kiss it all better. You know, shit like that. He says, you know, shit that the chick's like. Jeez. Anyway, he says, oh no, had one of my kissy emails that I just sent this morning.

Sorry, sent to the morning stream was about to be mocked with no mercy. No, just another Scott waking hallucination, Jeff Sire. So what he thought happened is the title came from maybe one of his emails accidentally getting to us that was all kissing and lov-y-dovey to his wife. But it wasn't. So Jeff, you're safe. Different Jeff altogether. You're good.

I know. I've kind of bummed. Have we ever, we've never gotten a, like a mistext in the situation like that. Not that I know of. Unless some of your, unless some of your booby shot. that you've received over the years were not that I know of that's possible oh that's possible isn't it

I never thought of that by the way I'd like to clear up Jeff it's not smoochie and boochie it's snoochie with an end snoochie boochies yeah but I think what he's saying is smoochie like kiss oh okay well then what's boochie I think he's crossing the streams with like

the kissy mistexes and the oh look at this I'm getting I'm getting a call right now from Rocky Mountain Gastro. That's got to be a fun. Uh-oh. Oh, I bet actually that's one, yeah, I think actually that is, that's a specialist

calling about my colonoscopy. Oh, are you really getting one? Have to, right? I mean, you know. Get one, dude. Get one. You got to get one. It's supposed to get one at 50.

Yeah. You're already late. Yeah. I'm late. I know, I'm late. I got mine early, so I don't have to do it. Get out of my butt. Scott.

Get off my butt. Make room for the, make room for the colonoscopy. Make sure you, make sure Tina records, you're coming out of it. But you got to do it. Oh, there's no way in hell I'm letting her do that. You got to let her do it. I want to hear what you have to say. If you end up giving up, you know, state secrets or something weird, don't worry about it.

You don't have to play it here. But, you know, if you say something like, I don't know, Eric Clapton is in a... I could have that anesthesiologist. I just want to, you know. If I weren't married. A guy on Twitter lied. You might do that. That one, yes, that's the far better one.

Yeah, well, we'll see how it goes. Brian, quick note about A&P, what's going on? Yeah, so just posted this morning the submissions from our four contestants for the editing challenge. Each one of them got a recording of an interview done by our own Monica here on TMS and A&P that she did with stuntwoman and actress Daniel Bergeo. they all got the same interview filled with traps filled with mistakes filled with problems

and it was their job to clean it up and turn it into a podcast what did they do well find out by going to America's next top podcaster and listening to the four submissions

I think it's one of the hardest ones personally yeah you know well it was a difficult challenge um one person, according to one of our judges, made the decision very easy on...

Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. We'll let you guess just what judge that was. That's right. Yeah. Definitely wasn't. Give a listen to the four entries, and then tomorrow, you'll be able to hear who went home for their recording.

Here's the sound I predict Brian makes after his colonoscopy. Here you got, ready? Here goes. There you go. That's the sound. It's about right. Yeah. Is that a turtle?

It's a turtle. Turtle is having sex. Yeah. Turtles having sex is one of nature's great things, man. It's so good. All right. We're going to be done now. Thanks for being here, everybody, and hanging out with us on the show.

We really do appreciate it. A reminder of our patronage over at patreon.com slash TMS without it. There's no show. Literally, there's no show. So be there and do it. Patreon.com slash TMS for everything else you might need to know, frogpants.com slash TMS. And check out that rockrunners before it ends tomorrow morning.

that'll be rockrunners dot A.RT for those interested folks. Oh, nice. That'll do it. Brian, let's get out of here with a song. Do you have one? I have a song. This one actually is going out to our buddy, TMS mashups. This is dear scissors and beans.

Don't mix the two. Ouch. This year has been challenging so far to say the least with my wife being diagnosed with a chronic illness and me being off work for months waiting for shoulder surgery. We certainly didn't need to have to move back or move house at the same time. Yet, that's how. how life goes sometimes. Thankfully, after only viewing two units, we found the perfect unit for our family, Canadians. And we moved in May 1st. We are blessed, or blessed, to be able to stay

in the same community we have grown to love over the past several years and hope to stay there for as long as we can. Brian, you need nothing from me for a song choice. Why am I even bothering to ask? Moving prayers answered, moving on up, I'll stop wasting your time. Play a damn song to celebrate our move. Barring that, Scott can definitely see why I like turtles. Oh, oh my gosh, that's funny. You said the turtles thing is I have the turtles right here. I know. I played that other turtles. Yeah, so here you go. I like turtles. All right, there's that. What was the other one? Where is that kid now? I could probably is like an accountant and I'd love to know. Rochester, New York, you know. I love meme follow-ups. I would

love to find out where that kid is right now. Someone find out where that kid is. And then there's this. I can definitely see why you like it. There you go. Both up and Jamie. done nice combo still loving me pupits of the leftist though jamie uh tMS mashups uh jamie you had me at moving on up uh if there's one thing i like it's a good tv theme cover wish i had one but uh no kidding this is this is a pretty good one it's by a guy named halfway hamill uh he did this thing in 2012 called tv time there was a it was a single that had two songs on it had the scooby-do where are you theme and then had this version of the jefferson's theme and then had this version of the jefferson's theme and which I think Scott has a recent connection to it's hilarious okay cool yep and uh moving on up here the original the theme song to the jefferson's covered by halfway hamill going out to tms mashups sweet we'll see you guys tomorrow for a Wednesday edition of the show come on back then fry in the kitchen beans don't burn on the grill took a hole out of terrain just to get up that hill now we're up in the big leech getting a ton of fire as long as we live it's you

with me baby ain't nothing wrong with that we're moving on up to the east side to a We've got some pie money on the sky Moving on up To the east side We finally got our piece of the pie Fish don't fry in the grill On the bird on the grill It took a whole lot of trying

Just to get up that hell And now we're all in the big leaves Get nothing happy As long as we'll live It's here with me, baby Yeah Ain't all the wrong day Yeah moving on up

And to the east side To a deluxe of pot money in the sky Moving on up To the east side We finally got a piece of the pie. I said we finally got a piece of the time. Yeah. Thank you.

This show is part of the Frog Pants Network. Come. Pizza. Oh.