The Morning Stream - TMS 2132: A Party Every Few Inches

Episode Date: June 21, 2021

A Priest, a Mountain Biker, and 14 Ibbotts Walk Into a Bar. Why was your Battle Cry Shit on Me? Don't Toss Grandma off a bridge. Words you never want to hear your Mother say. What is Bukkake? The NUT Part Is Emphasized! You Need a Permit to Spread Grandma. Quarter Cocked Caravan Of Cars. IT'S A TARP!!!!! Park Icon not to Scale. No Scratch, Just Half a Bush. In Soviet Russia, Tella Nuts You! The 80s Creeped up my butt and stayed there! I only watch the games for the nostril hair. Attracting No Drama Magnets. Making Things With Bill and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Coming up on TMS, a priest, a mountain biker, and 14 Ibbots walk into a bar. Why was your battle cry shit on me? Don't toss grandma off a bridge. Words you never want to hear your mother say. What is Bukaki? The nut part is emphasized. That's a poor order we put those in, those two. But anyway, that's fine.

Hey, you need a permit to spread grandma. Quarter-cocked caravan of cars. It's a tarp. Park icon is not to scale. No scratch, just half a bush. In Soviet Russia, tell a nut you. The 80s creeped up my butt and stayed there. I only watched the games for the nostril hair.

Attracting no drama magnets. Making things with Bill and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Look at you. You're a wreck. You stink. You can barely keep your eyes open. Behind it is your secret money pocket for coins, pictures, secret stuff. The morning stream, space rock.

It's morning, everybody, welcome back to TMS, or to it for the first time. This is TMS for Monday, June 21st, 2021. Hey, it's a 621-21. Woo-hoo! And it's episode 2132, so there's something. Oh, there's another 21. Yeah, we've got 21s everywhere. My son is 21.

Everybody buy a lottery ticket. That's right. Everyone can drink now. We're all drinking. Play some blackjack. Yeah. Welcome back to the show, everybody. I'm Scott.

That's Brian. Brian, you're back. You're back from your trip. I'm back. Back from family reunion, grandparent memorial tacular. Oh, that sounds like a party every few inches. How did it go?

Overall, would you say it was a, you know, a nice coming together of the family and the whatnot? Very, very much so. Yeah, you know, maybe, and it's funny because I didn't, I didn't see this happen, but apparently there were, there were a couple little spats or tiths or whatever, JPEG's, tiffs, a little LZW compression on them. But I didn't, I wasn't aware of them, didn't see them or anything like that. But for the most part, I mean, from my perspective, the, an event like this that can be the refrigerator that tracks all the drama magnets was drama free. It was a stainless steel refrigerator that attracted no magnets. So there's some kind of refrigerator you can't put magnets. Right.

I think it's aluminum, non-aluminum. They don't make fridges out of aluminum. I don't know. Somebody would claim that COVID makes them stick to it anyway, so it doesn't matter. That's right. Does your fridge have the vaccine? It's magnetic. Well, that's good.

You know, I respect the family to get together where their drama is at a minimum. Yeah. Well, let me, and I guess I'll clarify. Interpersonal drama was at a minimum. Was there still drama and excitement and thrills and action and stuff to keep you on the edge of your seat? Well, certainly. Absolutely. Let me tell you about it. Yeah. Give me an example.

I'll just segue right into it. So here's the deal. I mean, basically we went up to Glenwood Springs. This is Hot Springs town, a town built around some hot springs. springs that also heat up this pool technically the pool gets cooled down so people can get into it because it comes out of the hot springs at such a high temperature and it's a ginormous pool a hundred thousand gallons 170,000 gallons or something is what says on the sign it's like a city block a pool the size of a city block and as a kid my grandmother who passed away last year used to bring us up here all the time. And so we thought, well, this will be a great place to get the family all together. We'll rent an Airbnb or VRB or whatever and enough room for 15 of us.

And then we can get together as a family, play some board games, cook burgers outside on the grill, tell stories around a campfire, go swimming one day, go check out the town another day. sure and and and lastly spread the ashes of both my grandmother and my grandfather who passed away many more years ago but we have his ashes and figured well let's spread both of them together since they both liked coming up here oh that's interesting so you held on to those i guess you just she held on to him and then we just had them yeah they they rolling around in the in his trunk for the last a few years uh he never took him out no i'm just kidding sure In a much more sacred place, just out of the back of the truck. Anyway, so took both of them up there. Now, as is typical with that side of the family, I won't say that they never have a plan, but let's say that they just play everything kind of fast and loose, kind of off the cuff. Spontaneous. Yeah.

And we really didn't have a. a set plan as far as where we were going to disperse the ashes. Sure. A lot of places it's illegal, right? You can't just go to a park. Oh, I wondered about that. I guess it is illegal if you're, well, I'm sorry, I guess it makes sense that there would be places where it was illegal, but I've never, I would never think of it ahead of time. I would just be like so solemn about the process. I'd just be running out there with the ashes, not really thinking about what the, you know, what the locals care about whether the, you know, my remains are there or not. But exactly. Yeah. So,

we you know we were we were considerate of that but still uh we were probably expecting that we were going to be dispersing them in a place that was not legally dispersible right right um so we decided this would be our our saturday uh event and what we do is uh george and i would get up early we'd go do a 20 mile bike ride down to carbondale okay and then we'd get back we'd make sandwiches. We'd go to, we'd find a nice park next to the Roaring Fork River. We'd say a few nice things. We'd disperse the ashes. And then the groups, some groups of the family would go up to Adventure Park, which is this amusement park at the top of this mountain that kind of overlooks the Glenwood Valley. Some people were going to go on a hike. Some people were going to go into town

to go shopping. And then we'd all get back together, grill or cook pizza, and then eat on the back deck. Sure. We really didn't have an idea of where the park was. And we looked along the river and thought, well, here's a couple nice options. The previous day, though, my mom met somebody, talked to somebody in town when she was shopping. While we were all at the swimming pool, my mom went shopping. She met somebody.

And I don't know how the conversation went from, oh, that's a nice keychain you've picked out to where can I throw my mother's ashes. But somehow the conversation went there. Wow. And he's a local. He said, oh, well, you know, where I've told my kids, I want my ashes dispersed, is an RV park next to a river. There's actually this really beautiful spot. It's not in an RV park. It's like on the river, but it's a park next to the RV park.

And you just look for the sign off of the highway 82 that says RV. Oh, gotcha. You can't miss it. It's a beautiful location. Yeah. So she relays this to us, and we kind of go off half-cocked without any plan. Quarter-cocked, probably, would be the better. Yeah.

Fully loaded with the dust of your grandparents. The dust of our elders. Yeah. In three cars, a little caravan of cars. Yeah. High-speed funeral procession. Heck, yeah. It's easy when you don't have a freaking...

A hearse. It's a lot easier. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know everybody can maneuver a couple SUVs and a Versa. Sure. A little Chevy Versa. So we make our way down the highway.

We see, all right, well, there's the turnoff for Carbondale. He said it was on the Carbondale Road. We make a turn there. Yeah. And we look and say, well, there's an RV park there and there's a river down there. All right, let's go through. So we go through the RV park. and get to the end of the RV park and there's no way to get down to the water.

So a woman standing out by her car, we wave her over, we tell her, you know, we're looking for the way to get down to the river. She doesn't understand a word we're saying. She calls out her daughter who speaks a little English. We say, you know, hey, we're trying to get down to the water. And she says, oh, no, no, you need to get back on the highway. and then go, you know, where you can turn around, and then you turn, and then as you come back, look for a red star and go under the red star. And we're like, oh, my God, is she directing us to a Texaco? What's going on? So we decide, we hop back in the car, and at this point, my uncle says, you know, we saw a bunch of really nice parks when we were on our bike ride this morning.

Let's just go to one of those. And I say, yeah, okay, there's the one, you know, off of this. street that was right next to the water. You lead. So we let George leave. Swap the cars around. He goes leading. Got it. We get down to this area

where there's this bridge. We're going to walk down to the river. Oh, no. On both sides, where he could walk. It's private property. We can't get down to the river. And we don't want to just toss her ashes off the bridge. It's like, okay, well, how about this other place that we saw? I pulled up Apple

maps and found a park right on the Roaring Fork River. I said, okay, I'll lead this time. Brian's in charge. Everybody get behind Brian. Let's go. Swap the cars around again. I take us down this road that says no outlet,

again, through this nice area of these houses on every side. We get to the place on Apple Maps where it shows, what is it called, Barber's Gulch Park. Yeah. And it is a bench on a bridge over the river. between four houses, two houses on either side, on both sides of the street. I love it. It's just like a crappy little nothing park, but it's on the map as if it's like a significant thing.

Right, right. The little icon far bigger than the actual park itself. That's great. Okay. That's awesome. And so I've got everybody behind me and I'm just thinking, oh my God, I have to make everybody turn around again. And this is a one lane road, like a very narrow one lane road. We get all the way to the end to this house that has, like,

like a, you know, some artist lives there, and they've got this velociraptor made out of car parts or something. And so we have to kind of do a five-point turn in the driveway, but we have to communicate with each other, and we're kind of doing a little bit of it via text, but we're also doing the cop communication, which is, you know, one car turns around, comes back towards, we roll down our driver's side windows and say, all right, well, this, this road is a bus. This is great. I love it.

I love it. Now, at this point, my niece, Madeline. says, oh, well, okay, why don't we go back to where we turned off the road for Carbondale? There was a trailhead and a road that went up to the mountains. Grandma always liked the mountains. Let's find a spot up there. We'll do the disbursement up there. Great, no problem.

So this is now our sixth U-turn. That's a lot. There's a lot of U-turn. Yeah. More than you'd like to make typically, right? You'd like to make none, but, you know. We'd like to make none. We'd like to, you know, go out one thing.

But we're doing this as a family, and we're laughing because all we can do is imagine our grandparents in their boxes saying, oh, my God, we just throw it. We just don't care. Throw us in a field. Yeah. Hold it out the window and drive fast. Everything will be fine. But not in this horrible RV park, please. Yeah.

So we start making our way back up to where we got on the Carmdale Road. And then we go past the trailhead and we're going up the mountains. And Maddie's leading us. in her little Chevy Versa. Yeah. Two SUVs full of people behind her. And she's mapping it out. But because we go through a dead zone,

the place where it says, here's where you're going to want to turn right up this other steep gravel road. She goes right past it. And then she realizes she goes, like, she comes out of the dead zone. Her phone says, oh, you missed it. You turn and go up that gravel road. Yeah.

Nissan Versa, sorry, not a Chevy Versa. So she says, okay, well, we're going to have to you turn yet again, and she goes to the side of the road, and she goes a little bit too far to the side of the road, and there's a little bit of a gully, like a ditch. Yeah. And her car kind of goes a little bit sideways, and she has everybody kind of get out of the car. She's like, well, you know, I'll be able to still turn around, but there's a rock right in front of me, so I don't want to do it right away. I want to get everybody out of the car. We're all pulled over to the side, and somebody goes up and says, you're all right?

She's like, yeah, we need it to do a U-turn. So, chat room, I'm now showing you a photo of this car, overlaid on Brian as he describes this. So this is before this got worse, I assume. She's let everybody go to the car. Yes, yes. Is that her, by the way, real quick? Is that her in the pink pants in the dark?

Let me see the photo you're putting up. I think if it's the photo I'm thinking of, she's the she's on the far right of the uh yes black shirt pink pants that's her okay all right she's very calm looking she looks like she's got to work you know she'll work it out yeah yeah that's yeah that's funny yeah calm right there uh that she'd been out of the car for a few minutes sure sure uh-huh i understand so then she backs up and at that point the car slides further into the ditch into the gully at this point it's like at a 45 degree angle

And it's leaning on a, a bush. Like, if there were, if there were one more sandwich in the cooler in that car, it would have pushed the bush over. And in that gully, we're two huge rocks that if this thing were to go over, one of those rocks would have gone right through the passenger side window. Oh, yes. No, yeah, yeah. That thing tip, you're screwed. Now, we're in the mountains. Yeah.

We're kind of in a dead zone where there's no signal. And so the 15 of us all get out on the side of the road and start talking about what our next move is. And one of the daughters suggests, well, why don't all of us, or as many of us that are strong, just get on the other side of the car and push it sideways up. And we're like, yeah, no, I don't think we're doing that, because the last thing we need is having it rock further and then slide down on 14 of us. Yeah, that seems real bad. And you don't have a backup phone plan, so. we don't exactly yeah luckily a car uh comes by and it's somebody who just lives up here uh or up there

and he's got a bright yellow mountain bike strapped to the back of his thing he says hey what's going on man what's what's going on yeah and we explain the situation he says yeah you're kind of in a dead zone here look i live you know a mile up the road uh i'll take one of you up there you can call triple a or or you know do whatever you need to do from there because we're trying to get on the thing to triple a We call AAA, right? We actually get them on the phone while we're in this dead zone. They say, oh, yeah, go to the website and you can do a scheduling thing there. And they hang up and we go to the website and we can't pull up the damn website.

Of course, because there's no freaking internet where you're at. No freaking internet. So he takes us up there to where he's got Wi-Fi. And we'd probably been out there in the 105-degree heat for maybe about half an hour at this point, trying to get the plan together. Right. uh the uh the guy takes my uncle up there comes back uh says yep all right triple a is on its way i'm going to start taking people in one of the SUVs my uncle says this taking people in one of the SUVs back to the rental house and then we can kind of figure out our plan from there just so we're not all sitting out here in the heat we don't all need to wait here uh for the for the uh tow truck yeah the so he he starts packing people up now there's about 12 of us there waiting and it's still heat pouring down. I was going to say

you were not hot. It was not cool in the mountains. This is an important fact part of this. It was not cool in the mountains. Yeah. The sweat from my brow is going through the sunscreen and into my eye where it is stinging and red and I'm like tearing up constantly taking bottles of water and like trying to flush the

stuff out of my eye. We used to be able to know, I mean yes, hot air rises but we used to be able to rely. If you live in the Rocky Mountains, you know this. You can rely on going up the canyon and getting cooler temperatures. Yes. That's just how it is. But not this year.

Some place in the mountains, yeah. Yeah. But not this year. It's bad. It's terrible this year. Anyway. Toe truck shows up, or actually, no, I take that back. George shows up back with his truck.

We decide, okay, well, now the rest of us, except for maybe two or three people who are going to stay there with the car to wait for the tow truck, are also going to go back to the rental house. We get video shortly after of the tow truck. guy pulling up, attaching a cable to both of the exposed tires, both of the exposed wheels, kind of lifting and pulling the car out. So lifting the two wheels closest to the road up off the ground and then pulling the car laterally out of that gully instead of trying to go forth. There was a rock in front of it, so he wasn't going to get it.

He wasn't going to get it to go forward very well. Plus, at that angle, I'd be worried if he pulled from the front that it could topple over and just go, you know, right into that rock. But, uh, pulled it out. Everybody, okay. Everybody happy, healthy. Yeah. Uh, car able to drive back home with, with, uh, no scratch, but about half a bush, uh, jammed into the, uh, like the 2016 election.

There was about half a bush jammed into that thing. So hold on a second. So, so, uh, but no like banged up that like tires weren't out of alignment or anything weird like that. No. Not that we could tell. No alignment issues, nothing like that. On the way back, off the side of the road, and I did take a picture of this, but the thing is so gross and grizzly, I'm not going to send it. We see a deer that, on the side of the road, under a boulder. Wait, got crushed by a boulder? We think so. But it kind of is the, it kind of is the, is the, the caper of.

of, you know, you can plan all you want, you can look both ways, you can, like, be as prepared and careful as you want, but sometime a rock is just going to kind of land on you and flatten you. Yeah. There's always a percentage chance, right? Like, it seems very unlikely, but there it is. Man, that's rough. Yeah.

We, we, uh, just because they're kind of morbid, decide I want to go and take a picture of it and, uh, so on our last day, we went back into it. I got out of the car and took a picture of like, oh, this. This is gross. It's just like, you know, if it looked like Wiley Coyote was standing above it with a little, a fulcrum going, he, he, he, that'd be one thing. But, yeah, I know it's super genius. And then accidentally killed the deer instead of the roadrunner.

That's right. This deer had been out there for three or four days. Wow. So that's the, that was the big story. I mean, there were some other small stories. My wife had to explain Bukaki to my mother. Oh, my Lord. Really?

That had to have. See, you had to explain it to me once. Now your wife's explaining it to your mother. That's fantastic. Well done. Yeah, it came from one of my other nieces, heard the word, and thought it just meant silly, right? Oh, it's silly. And so to her two daughters, she's saying, because she heard the word and didn't know what it meant, she kept saying to her daughters, all right, come on, knock it off. Quit being Bukaki. Oh, my Lord.

And finally, finally, Maddie is married. In fact, was the one who said, uh, yeah, that, that word does not mean what I think, what you think it means. Yeah, but how long did you guys, how long did you let her go not knowing what it meant, though? Like, was it, uh, oh, I think it was pretty instant that it got explained. But then at the one, they were relaying the story, uh, after dinner, uh, Friday night. And, uh, my mom says, well, I don't know what that is. What is Bukaki? And my other than he's kind of gave a quick description of it.

to, you know, a quick description of it, which clued Tina in as to what it was. My mom still didn't understand it, so then my wife, my lovely wife says, well, you start out by putting a tarp down.

She gets into all the logistics first. Yeah, well, you know, Tina's first thought is cleanliness. Oh my gosh, dude. I mean, as someone who only learned with that meant about two years ago, or something close to that,

I know the feeling of the shock and feeling of knowing, of hearing what this is for the first time. And so I can't imagine explaining this to your mother. I just can't. That's crazy. Well, all right. That was almost the story you should have led with. That's a hell of a thing. Well, that was the shortest story.

I wanted to see how we did getting through the ditch story. Sure. Well, I'm glad the ditch is no longer. I'm glad it's in the rearview mirror, as it were. It is, yeah. All in all, weekend was a great time. And we're already looking forward to when we're going to be able to do it again, maybe next year. And I've got to say, if you're anywhere near Colorado and can check out Glenwood Springs for a weekend, that pool is amazing.

There's a great, they've redone their water slide. They used to just have this tube that went right into the water. Then they added a second tube. They've taken all that out. And they've now put in, the best description is it's like a theme park or a water park, river. rafting ride, but instead of being in a tube with like eight other people, you're solo

or on a pear tube, and it's like a lazy river that's not lazy. It's a very highly motivated river. And it's so it's got like gullies and things, and, uh, are not gullies, but like, places where the water splashes down and then

kind of meander off into another section where the water kind of splashes down. By the way, we're just looking at their website for Colorado, Glenwood Springs. And they have about tiny little segment at the top that's like, come here because it's cool. And then after that, where to get vaccinated?

Which vaccine to get it? Everybody get it. Like they're super pushing it on here, which is probably smart. Yeah, Mountain Town. Yeah, Mountain Town. That makes sense. This is where people go to get away from the government. Yeah, I got to go away from government.

Although they've spelled, I thought the Johnson and Johnson, is there a fourth vaccine called Jansen? Is that a thing? The Jansen is. I hadn't heard of it. Aren't they the makers of the AstraZeneca? No, there is a J-A-N-S-S-E-N, something like that. Yeah, they're on here, and I'd never heard of that.

I don't know why. Yeah, that's a different vaccine. Oh, it is, J-N-J vaccine. Oh, there you go, yes, right. Did they change the name because, is it because people don't trust it because they had a problem with it or something, or what? They're the manufacturer of the Johnson and Johnson vaccine. Okay.

So what, they're just the brand then, the Johnson and Johnson? I don't know that works. Lame. With the name like Johnson and Johnson, you can trust it. Well, they've got vaccines in Vacanas for the Spanish people. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good stuff.

Speaking of websites you should visit, everybody. You know, Jamie, Jamie does amazing things. He makes these mashups for the show. CMS mashups, Jamie, absolutely. Yeah, we love his work. We got one queued up for later in today's show, in fact, and a bunch in the can. He's really good at it. and a super nice guy and a really cool dad.

Happy Father's Day, everybody, by the way, yesterday. Oh, yeah. You included. And it's you too. Thank you. And so I wanted to mention something that J.K. Grammer headed up over the weekend. And it was really nice of him to do this. This is what our community does.

Pitches in to help each other. A lot of people don't know this, but Jamie had to have surgery on his shoulder, I believe. I think he keeps telling me it's his shoulder. And then sometimes I forget which part of him it is. But he's, he had major surgery on his shoulder. and it's not the first one. It's also because of this, not been able to work for a really long time. And as a result, this isn't just about him not being able to do mashups for a while, I promise.

This is mostly about him just kind of being down and out. And to add on top of that, his wife's got a couple of conditions that make it really hard for her to do some of the stuff she needs to do. And as a result, with their two kids, they're kind of just packed. They just have a lot to worry about right now and a lot going on. So, J.K. Grammer made a GoFundMe page for him, and I was happy to contribute. Maybe some of you will be as well. If you really like the work Jamie does here, and even if that's your only reason, go check it out. And if you want to just help a guy out who's, you know, a little bit down on his luck at the moment, like literally, this is just bad luck. Yeah, it's his shoulder. That's right.

Go check it out. This is over at tiny URL.com slash Janie Family Fund. That's J.A.M.I.E. for Jamie, Jamie Family Fund, and, you know, show some support. Little inter-community love to Jamie TMS mashups and let them know, let them know you hope he feels better and we can help him out in a way that is actually meaningful. So go check it out. That is the URL again is tiny URL.com slash Jamie Family Fund with a D. Chat says fun, but no, fun. Jamie Family Fun.

Yeah. And big thanks again to J.K. Grammer for heading that up. That was really nice for him to do that. That was very cool. Okay. And I'll mention that again when we have different mashups and stuff until he's better because he is in a bit of a pinch right now. All right.

I'm doing it right now, as a matter of fact. I did it this morning. And I see that. We are all very grateful for Jamie and owe him a debt of gratitude for his fine work. There's another guy that comes on the show once. in a while two times a week in fact and he's kind of a dork but we like him here he is he's a big dork hey look right there it's Brian Dunaway who has appeared out of nowhere to join us on today's Babel Royale edition of what do we call it the morning squirm it's going to be fun

hi Dunaway how are you oh hi dorks oh hi hey hey hey what do you do how was your weekend father of the year you got father's day too How'd that go for you? I did it. It went great. I took a big old nap. I'm like, I wonder if I could sleep until noon if I tried. Yeah.

I did it. Yeah, I did too. I got up early. Congratulations. I got up early on Sunday because the kids were coming over for some sort of breakfast thing. Right. So everybody showed up and it was great. It was lovely.

Kim made some really crazy good food and it was great. And Taylor, Carter made her, Bryce Bowles. It was fantastic. And then they were all goofing around and talking on the poor. porch or on the backyard porch thing. And I was like, I'm going to just sit on this couch for a minute. I'm just going to slip away for a moment. Yeah, just for a minute.

I'm not going to, you know, I'm not nap and I'm not doing anything. I'm just going to sit here and I'm going to sketch out this baseball wastelander drawing I was doing. So I sketched it out and then kind of put my, my sketchbook to the side. And then next thing I knew it, it was 2.30 the afternoon. And I had fallen asleep on the couch and not moved. I recommend it. Dude. I recommend it.

Yeah. Look, there's a couple of days a year that, people like us, people who are insane, and they have to work all the freaking time, we can just go, you know what? I'm going to take a little nap, and our body goes, we are, and it's like, oh, yeah. Yeah, it goes all in.

It doesn't hold back at that point. And I clearly needed it. But anyway, it was really great. And I hope you had a good father's day. You know, we spent it with my in-laws. So my father-in-law is the nicest man on the planet celebrated with him. Oh, weird. Mine's the nicest.

I know. How did that? happen. I know. It's crazy how we all ended up with the nicest dad possible. And while I was there, I tried, I was going to tell Brian about this earlier, but I forgot. We tried watermelon with mustard on it. Ah, I saw your TikTok. Yeah, and I did this. I did this because there was this like challenge going around saying that, oh, an amazing combo, watermelon and mustard, you have to try it.

And as usual, the internet is either trolling you wrong or right, but you don't, you can't tell the difference, right? You don't know what's true on the internet. So I thought, let's give this a shot. I know that you can put, like, some people put like salt and certain kind of seasoning. Salt and sun on watermelon is very common. Yeah. Right.

I've done that with bananas before. Like, there is a sweet, salty combo you can do that works. But I'm thinking, I don't know, mustard. Yellow mustard, that seems crazy. So we went ahead and did it, me and Carter. It's just kind of, it's like you. It's like I was eating watermelon and had some mustard at the same time. It's like oil and water, man.

you don't it just ain't gonna mix there's no mix you basically got two flavors not not one flavor of the two of them merged right you basically literally oil and water right is it muster kind of like an oil based well it's not oil and watermelons a water based well that's a good point that's a good point that may be because they're from seeds but but yeah like I think they're if it says it right they didn't combine like they right they just stayed the two things they are we just happen to eat them simultaneously everyone's trying to find the next peanut butter and chocolate. That's what they're trying to do, and they're never going to find it.

Keep looking. Pettles and mustard. They are ready. That is good. But that makes sense because it's like a bready thing with mustard. Yeah. I don't know. Anyway, it was bad and I was fat in it in that video.

I was fat in it. Yeah, it was all fat. Somebody pointed out on Twitter says, it was the filter, man. A guy in Twitter says, well, look, you're all scrunched over. We all do this. We fold in on ourselves. And I'm like, I know, but there's like 20 pounds. or I just see it. I can see it. It just needs to go.

Anybody eating watermelon and mustard is going to look fat. That's just how that works out. Oh, it looks so fat. Anyway, so there's that. Hey, Dunaway, let's play a game. Brian Nibbitt over here has the rules and how this is going to work. So, Brian, do you want to tell us how this is going to work? I do, yes. Welcome to the morning squirm, a back-and-forth trivia game where our players

will match wits on topics that Cliff Clavin would have offered up at the Cheers Bar. Scott and Brian will take turns answering multiple-choice trivia questions. And if they get it wrong, the other player gets a point. First player to five wins the prize for their contestant. Contestants have been pulled from members of the Tadpool that aren't able to listen live. So Scott is going to be playing for Super Dave from Clearwater, Florida. And Brian is going to be playing for Matt from Chattanooga, Tennessee.

Compare for your prizes, Matt. Yeah. That's right. Get ready to win, buddy. Yeah, this still says Randy from last Monday. Oh, weird. That's why. I'm still Randy from last Monday.

A little Randy. Got you a little Randy? Very good. I should probably see a doctor. Yeah. Do that right away. So should we flip a coin? See who goes first?

Yeah, let's do it. TMS coin. I'm going to flip an Apple air tag. Oh, even better. Even better. Yeah. You got either the Apple side or the white side. So let's say Apple side should be heads, right?

Wouldn't you say? Well, yeah, okay. Whatever. It doesn't matter. Just call Apple or white. Yeah, Apple or white. If you want to do heads or tails, sure. go ahead and call white scott okay i'll call because i'm going to let you call it in the oh yeah you do it

done it's flipped apple apple side it did land apple side up nice yes well done so brandy first question i was gonna ask you what you think of those so far quick review you like um so far i like it uh it's so freaking accurate i've hidden it you know in the house not really hidden it because i knew exactly weren't i'm just say it's kind of hard to hide some from yourself I should have Tina hide it, but I did the thing, like, it's like, all right, seven feet to your right, now turn, now, and then, like, it took me right to it. It's impressive. So, I've got one on my bike. I've got one, like, in the, like, a little secret panel of our luggage.

I'm both glad the technology works and also sad that the technology works that accurately. It's a cool tech. Well, yeah, like, I'm doing it for my bike for a couple reasons. Number one, if I die on my bike, Tina can find me a lot of years. easier. But also, if my bike gets stolen, this is a really good way to keep track of it. Yeah. Those tile ones still work pretty well.

Tile ones are supposed to be great, too. Yeah. So really, it's, you know, if you have tile, there's no reason to swap to this stuff. Yeah. All right. All right. Just do this. Brian, first question goes to you.

Give me. Because I went on a road trip, I've got the first question is a road trip question. Every road trip involves somebody calling out, Shotgun! But what is the origin of that phrase? Is it? A, passengers literally carried shotguns to chase away robbers. B, farmers often rested shotguns in the passenger seat.

C, in the early 1900s, criminals would rob people by rolling up and pointing a shotgun in their face. Or, D, in the early days of vehicle production, the seats were made from the same materials as guns. Oh my gosh. None of those had the answer. thought it was going to have you're in your good luck dude yeah i didn't i didn't hear any of the ones that i thought would be the right answer um i'm going to go with d because it sounds ridiculous with the with the same material same material you're right the the the seats are made from the same materials is gone the answer that is incorrect uh scott what what you know you've

already got the point but uh what um what did you think of yes so can you give me the first two again Just the top. Sure. Passengers literally carried shotguns to chase away robbers or farmers often rested their shotguns in the passenger seat. I'm a shotgun. I think it's the first. Hold on. First.

Firsty. Did you say anything about like the Old West or anything in there? Well, that's what I thought was going to be from. In the early 1900s, criminals would rob people by rolling up and pointing a shotgun in their face. Yeah, and that doesn't. work. No. All right. I'm going to say a. A. Do it. I think a. It is a. Passengers and did, you know, that did come from the Old West. It just didn't have it in the answer. But yeah, in the Old West, the passenger would be responsible for keeping robbers away,

stagecoach robbers by holding or keeping a shot down. I knew that was the origin, but the way you phrased it, which is really devious, but still accurate. It really puts a spin on it, too, because when someone yells shotgun to sit in the front seat like cool this guy likes to sit in the front seat but back then if you yelled it you know all happy shotgun i got it yeah that means you're gonna kill anybody who comes up to the side of that stagecoat tries to rob you which is a big commitment there's a lot to you know it's a lot to take in exactly all right so uh that question done let's go on to the next one scott this one's for you all right uh all right a california woman california woman once tried to sue them makers of Captain Crunch, or Cap'n Crunch, because A, the captain looked exactly like her great grandfather who once worked for the company. Oh, my gosh. B, eating the cereal daily allegedly made her teeth fall out. C, crunch berries contain no berries of any kind, or D, the box that she purchased contained

the, did not contain the prize that was offered on the front. Man, it's hard not. to go modern day idiot with this. Did you say when this happened? I don't have the date on it. All right. Well, I'm going to go with the lady. She brought her teeth out and blamed it on the company because it just sounds like something somebody would do.

Someone who doesn't want to take any responsibility for their life would sue for that. All right. Is it eating the cereal daily allegedly made all her teeth fall out? No, that is incorrect. Damn it. I get to guess. You get to guess. I keep up with a lot of stupid trivia

Like cereal trivia It seems like it was because She's mad because she's You know she's all California and she likes healthy food And she thinks there's fruit in there So she Her lawsuit was because crunch berries contain no berries of any kind Correct

In 2010 a federal judge Dismissed a class action brought by consumers Claiming they were misled to believe The Captain Crunch's crunches Crunchberries contain nutritional value derived from real fruit idiots throughout the case yes indeed

2010 was the I looked it up if these aren't real berries that just seems so dumb they're so punchy I thought they were just puffed that seems so dumb to me but it also sounds like it's more nuanced like they were actually suing because of the claim it sounds like a troll to me that's what it sounds like

maybe but if you do a class action you've got a lot of people who are being trolls potentially or you're wording it in such a way that says well look the commercial say you know a valuable part of this breakfast or this It was literally that you know The woman who started the class action suit

Started it because there were no berries and crunch berries There was no fruit Yeah but the way you read it The way you read it sounded different More crunch berries contain no berries of any kind No Not the not the answer but your your court description When you gave the court description

Yeah So you didn't have the stenographer Yeah read that one part Translation read that one part one more time, the part about the 2010 case. California, oh, I close the tab. Oh, never mind. You know what I'm going to read some interesting trivia stuff.

Read about the Captain Crunch stuff. It is, he's always in hot water. He's always in trouble? He's always in cold milk. Yeah. Poor Captain. You know what? Let's give you another question. This one's going to Scott about the Captain of Crunch.

What is Captain Crunch's full name? Is it Horatio Magellan Crunch? Corado Azalino Crunch Cristiano Castro Crunch Or heart tea crunch Heart tea crunch Oh you made it harder Hartier

He made it hearty er Scott Why is the Horatio ring a bell Um Because you've read Hamlet recently Maybe Um the last one I guess that one would make the most sense to me from a

like a pun standpoint heart T crunch yeah they just made it for Twitter that is incorrect Brian yeah that would be Horatio damn it isn't it is Horatio he's going to traverse the world with his crunchberry

I should have gone with my gut that rang a bell and I should have done it Horatio Magellan Crunch, yes, a discoverer and a Hamlet... I want to say I learned that on the BuzzFeed of all stupid places, if I remember correctly. That sounds like something BuzzFeed would teach you, yeah. Right. That's what they teach

you. Yes, the educational value of BuzzFeed. All right. That's right. Let's see here. Let's do this one. Because this is appropriate, right? We tried to spread my grandmothers and grandfather's ashes. We actually did, by the way, eventually do it yesterday morning. Oh, it did happen. I guess we never got to that.

Yeah, I guess you finally did. That's good. That's right. Okay, this one is... You should check back next spring and see if a new grandma and grandpa are growing there. Right. Oh, did I do the order? Wow, I don't know if I should laugh at that or...

Mortified. It's like seeds. It's like, you know, you plant them. You get the new grandpa. I get it. That's right. All right. This one's going back to Brian.

In 2013, a man was arrested for spreading the ashes of his fiancé inside. One of her favorite places Oh my God Was that place A Chipotle A lens crafters A Target or a Chucky cheese What the first?

What year was this? 2013 What Dude I gotta I gotta go Target I don't want to go Target But I got to go Target Okay

All right Is it Target No it is not Oh godgum it Scott, do you have a guess? I know which one I want it to be. I'll say Chucky Cheese because that's where I'd want it to be. I may as well go with my gut again.

Chuckie Cheese. Right. Is it Chucky Cheese? No, it is not. Damn it. October 16th, 2013, man, Florida man, by the way. Oh, don't say Chipotle. Spread his fiancée's ashes at Lenscrafters.

That is crazy. There's nowhere in the world. Did we do the evacuation of a Florida, of a Sarasota, Florida mall? We may have done this. My favorite place to shop is LensCrafters. That's not a thing. No, but I think we may have done this story, like literally done this story. It feels like we should have done this story, yeah?

Yeah. Can you see her now? It's familiar now in my head that we've talked about it. Now I feel stupider. All right. Well, I'm doing great. No, you should not. You can ask me it again next week

And I still won't get it I'll still miss that one every time Well, there you go We'll see how it goes All right, the final question It's two, too So the winner of this question wins for their person

Team Back to Scott for this one Right The number of jars of Nutella Sold in a year Could cover this popular tourist spot Eight times Is it

the Eiffel Tower the space needle the Hoover Dam or the Great Wall of China the number of jars of Nutella sold in a year jeez you say the Great Wall of China

I'm going to need to know I'm going to need to know the thickness well doesn't how thick it's spread well hold on though but the Great Wall of China you just mean on the wall or within its walls no you cover like cover cover it okay so surface like it was a cake scott you're not going to inject it on the inside

well the reason i ask is that's that's an that wall doesn't have a there's no clothes to it let me like it's not a bowl it's so that's why i was wondering it's like a container um all right yeah no imagine your imagine so like imagine the eiffel tower is uh doesn't isn't well actually no i guess it would be right it would be covering the bars that make up the iful tower or the the surface of the Hoover Dam. Yeah, you're making a cake with it. The space needle, exactly. You're frosting the item.

Right. I really don't know. So I'm just going to say, I like the Hoover Dam. Hoover Dam. Let's do Hoover Dam. All right. Is it the Hoover Dam? No, it is not. Brian, do you have a guess?

You won, by the way, for your player, but do you have a guess? Right. I want to, you know, it seems insane. So I'm going to say the Great Wall. From Nutella's website, Nutella.com, curiosities, you could cover the Great Wall of China eight times with the number of jars sold of Nutella per year. Lame. There's a lot of Nutella. Also, that is way too much Nutella, you guys.

That is too much. Remember when Nutella tried to convince this it was the healthier alternative? Yeah, remember that? It's like, yeah, why use peanut butter when you can use Nutella, which is better or the same? You're like, uh-huh, no. I can't decide between this Captain Crunch berries, which has real berries in it, or... All right. Yeah, the amount of Nutella produced in one year ways the same as the Empire State Building.

Wow. Wow. Yeah. Well, we were playing for the South today, and Matt Young is our winner. That's right. Congratulations, Matt. Oh, I didn't tell what the games are. So we have our carryover games from last week.

dead in Bermuda and Stick Fight the game are going to be going to Matt in Chattanooga, Tennessee. But you know, Super Dave isn't going away empty-handed. He's getting Doom, courtesy of Chris.

So thanks to Zachie and Chris for setting in this code. It'd be 2016's Doom, right? Probably. I guess so. Yeah, probably. There's so many ways to get Doom. I mean, you can run Doom on anything. But it's not a physical price. Not that game. Right. You can't run Doom 2016 on anything but yeah like somebody hook up doom to play on a tomogachi or something recently or something i just saw

that was hacked to play do somebody played it on a fridge once that we had a microwave i think that's what it is you can put it on anything these days or the old doom anyway but that new doom is awesome in fact i'd argue 2016's doom is better than the new eternal one so you're getting the good of the better of the two in my opinion um real quick here uh lennon name the chat says it's not pronounced nutella it's nutella that's what i'm looking at right now i'm trying to see here That's true. I'm still on the Natella site, but... Yeah, that's how you say it.

It is Nutella, not Nutella? I've always said Nut. Yeah, it's nut. I think the nut part is supposed to be emphasized. Oh, yeah. Correct. I believe that's what I've been told before. It was originally called Gian Dujot.

Wow. That wasn't selling well. Nope. Yeah. The Giundujat was not good. I mean, it makes sense, right? Because it's a hazel nut, not a hazel nut. Well, it's originally an Italian product.

So we're going to find out how you're supposed to say it for real. So here you go. Enjoy this. Here's the pronunciation. Boniorno. This is Julia, the guy who makes pronunciation videos here on YouTube, and we are looking at how to pronounce the name of brand of sweetened hazelnut and cocoa spread made in Italy by famous chocolate maker. We don't care.

So how would you go about pronouncing this with the typical Italian pronunciation? Of course, you can always say Nutella. But with the typical Italian pronunciation, how would you say it in Italy? Well, that would be Nutella. Nutella. It is Nutella. So forget, hey, Lennonade. The Italian guy says Nutella.

Okay, okay, look. Scott just, just, he pulled that YouTube video out. If I talk for another 14 minutes, then my YouTube link will go up to Sky. Yeah, yeah. So that's a de facto answer? Yeah, I don't think so. I'm going to need a better source than that, my friend. I like the credentials.

I like that if it made him Russian. That's fantastic. Yeah. I did. You make your rank on YouTube. He's too much hassle to pronounce it, Natella. So you pronounce it. You make your general sky high.

In the Russia, teller lutes you. All right. Well, that was awesome. And that means that we got to celebrate one more time. Matt Young winning. Here you go, Matt. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. But don't worry, Super Dave, because there's always next time there, bud.

And don't you worry. You still get doom. Oh, yeah, you're getting doing either way. Yeah, it was, you know, nothing. Actually, you could argue he won. I don't know, stick fight the game and dead in Bermuda. Yeah, they're, you know, they're okay.

Yeah. It is, if you're looking at pure quantity, sure, it's two games versus one. But, you know, you can argue we got the better game. So maybe I lost that on purpose. Maybe this is all part of the plan. That's what I'm saying. Through the game. Dunaway.

So tomorrow, the boob show, of course, always. We do that on Tuesdays. Looking forward to that. And this weekend, FilmSack is back with a full episode covering toys, Barry Levinson's Toys. Toys. I think it's the right one, right? When Robin Williams and all that? Absolutely.

Correct. Yes. Never saw toys. I've seen every Barry Levinson movie. Joan Cusack. L.L. Cool J. Oh, his mama told him to do something. So that'll be fun because we missed a, you know, we had a week off for Brian's trip and now we're back. Although we did put up

a watch-along, so people go check that out. It was for the Tuvix episode of Voyager, which was really weird. yeah don't bring that up I'm still heard about that watch Janeway kill Tuvix yeah I did spoiler

that spoiler Janeway is a horrible horrible multi and technically she didn't kill him who did who did

who's a technical killer I mean she gave you she didn't do it wasn't her dirty hands yeah but you but that's like saying the guy at the at the gas camp

who killed some poor old man that Hitler's not you gotta give Hitler trouble you got to give Hitler credit Give Hitler some credit. Yeah, give Hitler some credit for those murders, damn it. You've got to give Hitler the credit. How many jars in Nutella would it take to cover Hitler?

Oh, my gosh. With now knowing what we know, enough to kill him, and that's great. Kill Hitler, I always say. Brian Dunaway, have a good week. We'll see you later. Oh, that better not be controversial about killing Hitler. If somebody's got a problem with that, then they're going to have to email me and explain their position. Holy Moses.

I don't believe you'd suggest to kill Hitler. I mean, now you're just as bad as him. No, no. No, I'm not. Not even close. All right. What time is it? Oh, gosh, we've got to take a break.

When we come back, we'll spend some time with Bill, and it'll be great. So stick around for that. Brian, do you want to play a song, though, to take us on the break here? Yeah. Now, are you familiar with the name William Goldsmith? Yes, actually. I think I am. I don't know.

I may be thinking of Jerry Goldsmith. Goldsmith or his son, Joel. William Goldsmith is a founding member of the band Sunday Day real estate, but he was also a member of Foo Fighters. He's got a brand new band called Assertion, and they have their debut LP now available. This thing is so good. Rolling Stone just called it one of the best albums of 2021 so far. So that should say something.

This thing feels, you know, has a lot of foo fighters feel to it. really, really good. The new album is called Intermission. Here is the song that's called Down Into the Deps. But if the shadows let me alone for just one moment I could breathe. But if the shadows let me alone for just one moment I could breathe. No, I will not tell you, no, I will not go away. down into the depths of every hole level floor down into the depths of every hole

broke my face in then there's the screaming you can't stop the screaming goes on and on and falls in two they want you and they want you to hold their little hands

and walk with me walk with me and tell me everything about yourself everything about yourself before I die before I slip away slip away

down into the depths of every hole I'll never throw him down into the depths of every hole I put my face it Down into the depths of every hole Oh Oh Do you want to take me on you

You want to take me on but You can't see three these eyes You can't see through these eyes You want to take me down But did you want to take me down Yeah But you can't see through my eyes

You can't see through my eyes And I've been building this time I've been building this time One for some time And you might want to walk away Yeah You might want to walk away there No telling

These limbs might do Down into the depth of every hole Never fell in Down into the depth of every hole From my face in Down into the depth of every hole Of the blood Down into the depth of every hole

From my face in For anyone wondering, I still have not found a girlfriend yet, I am still single. Yes, sir, kids. We'll send you a real Maverick belt. The morning stream. Hey, Leo, you're going to have more sex than anyone in our class. All right, we're back, everybody. Welcome back to the program. That song again, Brian.

That song again is called Down in the Depths performed by the band Assertion. Lovely. I keep thinking insertion, but I know that's not what you're saying. Please don't think it's that. No. And look for that. Yeah. One quick note about music.

We listened to a lot of, for whatever reason, we listened to a lot of R.E.M. This weekend. Oh, probably because of spatial audio, I think you added a bunch of their stuff, right? Oh, yeah. I think that is actually what got me pulled in because I think it was drive or something that was redone. And I went, you know, I'm going to hang around here for a while and just listen to R.E.M. all weekend. And I did.

And my question to you is, desert island, all by yourself. You can only have one track, not album. Oh, one track by RER. Track from REM. Who do you? Basically, I'm saying what's your favorite REM track is what I'm asking.

It doesn't have to have it. It's a hard question, right? I'd put this out on Twitter and nobody answered the same. No, pretty persuasion. Oh, there you go. That's a great one. Great pick.

Yeah. I like Radio Free Europe, but I think I would tire of it. I think I'd get tired of that one too. I like, don't go back to Rockville and I like Driver 8. Yeah. And is it cold?

I've been there. You can't get there from here. Yeah, I can't get there from here. Something like that, yeah. That's a good one. If you want to, you know, if you're stuck on a desert island, it's probably the best place to learn the lyrics, too. It's the end of the world, as we know it,

because you'll have plenty of time to get them memorized. That song's so good, though. I love that song. Okay. I also like Kings of Birds, or King of Birds, is that it? On Document. Document's a great album, by the way. It is a good album.

It's also a great name. for an album. What an amazing title for an album. Yeah. Document. Man in the Moon's good, too. Yeah. And he's gone wrestling.

I think part of is your age, Jedi 71. If you were, if you grew up when me and Brian did, R.E.M. was a, they left a, they left an impression man. Every, everybody in the dorm had document or, uh, uh, uh, cry. Not crush. What was the album that had stand and all that stuff on it? Oh, right. Stand in that place. That was...

Shiny happy people. I don't remember the name of the album for some reason. Yeah. They all had that album, whatever the hell it was. Yeah, whatever that was. Everybody had it. It was orange. I remember it was orange.

We're kind of bright color compared to some of their previous albums. Yes. Yeah, I'm pulling it up right now. Automatic for the people is not it. But that's a good album, too. Dead Letter Office is a great, like, oh, eponymous is their good. Yeah.

Gray's hits album. It is out. No, no, out of time is one after that. I guess I don't have it ripped yet on here. According to Paste Magazine.com, their favorite song is, talk about the passion from Murmur. The album is green. Oh, green.

That's it, green. Oh, talk about the passion. That's a great song. Yeah. They have just really great. Their catalog is awesome. I even like, what's the frequency, Kenneth? A lot of people hated that era, but I like that song and that album.

Oh, I forgot about talking about the passion. That is up there for me. What's the frequency can't bang back? I was telling that story to my daughter in the car, and she was like blown away about its origins and Dan Rather and the weirdo yelling at him and all that. Yes, right. That was great. All right.

Let's now. Yeah, the album is green, by the way. I said that, but I get to say it again because enough people in the chat room are yelling about it. Yeah, green is correct. I've been hooked on a little. Olivia Rodrigo lately that her debut album for whatever reason just been on constant replay

Olivia Rodriguez I'm writing you Olivia Rodrigo she's super it's like it's poppy it's new pop stuff but I think she's I think she's really good and I don't know why I like some of that stuff I'm down with that I can't stop playing the weekend and Ariana Grande's combo

savior I don't know why I can't stop listening to that that song's great that's why because it's good feels like the 80s creeped up my butt and said hey I'm staying here I think so all right hey look at this you guys your bat caves open there Bill straight from the Pacific Northwest and the home of punished props comes one Bill Duran who heads on over here on Mondays and we talk about the world of making and makers Bill welcome back good morning nice to have you here it is it looking great out today is it is it you got so all right so the entire west side of the country is having this horrible drought. I don't know how Washington fares in this. You guys do all right? I'll do with that. It gets a little drowdy up here but mostly it's just warm.

I'm excited though because there are some trees in my neighborhood where a pair of tiny falcons live and little Merlin falcons and I've been trying my best to get some good photos of them. And today

so today I wanted to talk a little bit about wildlife photography. some tips if anyone wants to get into it because I am getting into it. That's cool. I love when we dip back into your love of photography in general, but especially when I mean, do you call this birding or is this sort of a general sort of?

I would just say wildlife photography. I have to take pictures of animals that I don't own. And also that don't, that I can't entice to my house with food. Sure. So there are plenty of crows around my house, but they show up for a bird

bath and everything. And I mean, I could take a couple pictures of crows, but they're not the most exciting subjects. No. When they start talking, they are. When they talk, they're very exciting. It's rare. Oh, they're so exciting.

Yeah. So I love, I've always loved taking animal photos. My pets get photoed a lot. It's a lot. Of the photos I put out of the internet of my pets, I have taken, for every one I post, there are probably 30. I didn't. But I really love if I can get it wild animals.

I love trying to get animals in their natural habitat. I do love going to the zoo, and that's great for practice. I also like the zoo. Nothing wrong with the zoo here and there. Oh, yeah. Actually, the zoo there in Utah, Scott, the Hogle Zoo is incredible. It used to be garbage. Back when I was growing up, it was kind of a dumb zoo,

and they went nuts with it, and it's super cool now. That's a great zoo. Yeah, and their bird show is extraordinary. Oh, yeah. That one's so good, and they finally are doing that one again. But it's awesome because it's in this like, amphitheater space with with a covering that keeps the sun off everybody and they've got birds you know that are like two miles away in a giant yeah percha falcon oh it's so bad they throw it like

a speck of food on the ground and the falcon hundreds of yards away is like got it and it just dies it and nailed it it's so incredible they swoop around your head this is very good so yeah if you're ever if you're ever in salt lake and anyone out there is like I'm bored I don't go to the zoo you'll you'll have a good time there it's good you definitely well. So yeah, if you do go to the zoo and you want to take pictures of the animals, get there right when the zoo opens right in the morning. The animals are less, tend to be less active as the day goes on, and they tend to be most active around feeding time. So if you can figure out when their feeding times are, you can ask the folks there. That's probably the time you're

most likely to get the animals. Like, the worst thing ever is, I've rented a lens and like, I'm going to go to the zoo, take pictures of all these cool animals. You get there and they're all asleep or there's just like hiding behind a tree or whatever. Yeah, especially in the summer. Yeah, because the summer when the heat hits, they all poop out. They're all done. Oh, yeah. Especially in the summer. So one of the best

things you can do for taking photos of wild animals is to learn your subjects. Read the Wikipedia page about whatever bird you're trying to take a picture of. Learn their daily habits and patterns. So like what time of day they're active. For

example, we have bunny rabbits that run around in our backyard. And I'm starting to notice when they're active and when they're not. During the middle of the day, the bunny rabbits tend to be lounging somewhere and sleeping. But earlier in the day and then in the afternoon, they also eat. Do you ever name them and see like the same one show up and go, oh, there's Carl back for more? Yeah. Yes, there was a buddy rabbit a couple of years ago with a big notch taken out of his ears. So he named him notch. Oh, that's great. And he came back the next year, at least. He had the same notch. I took two photos. I matched them. But he did not come back to the next year.

But he also invented Minecraft and retired with $1.9 million dollars. You know, that's probably it. He probably retired with his billion of dollars. Yeah, definitely the same notch, yeah, for sure. Another big thing to know is when and what your animals eat. So when they eat and what they eat and where they eat it. So if you can hang out near where an animal, you want to take a phone. of drinks every day.

Like maybe they stop to drink at the same place every day. You hang out there and eventually they'll show up. Here's another good tip. With a lot of photography, you know, you'll say, it doesn't really matter what camera you get. You can use the one in your phone. For wildlife photography,

it's not really true. Gear very much matters when you're trying to get. The problem is the thing you want to take, a photo of is far away. You want to get close up to it, but if you walk close up to it, that thing will run away from you. It'll be afraid of you.

Yeah, they don't like you. Sure. You do need a good telephoto lens. This is a lens that is zoomed way in. I've gotten by with like a 200 millimeter lens for a long time, and that works pretty well. But if you really get into animal photography, you want to get birds that are really far away. You've got to get something a little bit a little longer and a little bit more expensive.

And I actually just, this is why this is on my mind. I bought a 600 millimeter lens last week, specifically for taking photos of birds and stuff. 600 millimeter. What's your effective distance for like a close up with that? Probably pretty good. Yeah, it's hard to tell, like, explain with words how zoomed in it is. It's substantially three times more than my previous one. Oh, that's a lot.

Yeah. So, I mean, are you better off? Do you think if you're really into this, get your own, lens, but renting them is okay for... I would recommend to figure out, if you don't know exactly what lens you want to get, I recommend renting them. And I've rented lenses a lot, especially for animal photography. So I took a trip down to Florida a few years ago, and I rented a 400-billimeter lens.

And actually, the photo on my desktop of my picture, I'm looking at it right now, this great blue heron, I got a picture of just his head, perfectly framed, because I was able to zoom so far in without getting close to him and scaring him off so yeah yeah rent a lens and if you find one that you like a lot of the rental places will let you buy it at a slight discount

where do you are there places still like what was the name of that place we used to go all the time here in the city there used to be oh there was a photo place and all they did was rent cameras and lenses and I don't remember the name of the damn thing

where would you go away would you just look him up on the internet and go I need local lens rental and that's how you'd find it now I guess there's uh online ones too they'll mail and mail stuff to you I've done that a lot okay oh they'll mail you the box you can mail it back oh that's cool I didn't know that was a thing you could do I actually rented camera gear probably from that place in Salt Lake when we did that photo shoot at Nurtacular yes you did what was the name yeah I don't remember I've been there it's probably still there and I just don't know it because I have no reason to go in there but um but yeah they were they were a big not wolf I don't remember the name of it.

KT Data would probably know, but I don't know if he's in chat this morning. Anyway. So other gear, the lens is probably the most important thing for animal photography. The camera you buy is pretty important, although a lot of all the new DSLR type cameras are all really, really good. A tripod can be super handy. And then the only thing I would say you'd need for the camera would be a decent auto focus. The lens matters, too, when it comes to autofocus as well.

if an animal starts to move, there is no way any human being is going to keep track with the focus manually. It doesn't happen. You've got to have good auto focus to take pictures of moving animals. Super important. Sure, sure. So when I see these guys doing like fancy Richard Attenborough business and their lenses are like 16 miles long, I mean, it's these kinds of lenses, right? That's the stuff. We can look at the pores of the housefly. Right. And I'm here to tell you those lenses. My new lens was about $2,000, which is a good amount of money to spend on a decent lens. Yeah.

The lens, those guys are using. Yeah. Those lens costs in the 10 to hundreds of thousands of dollars. Wow. There. The price jumps up dramatically. And that's a, I mean, well, whenever you talk to like photo people, they always just call it glass, almost like they're talking about, you know, drugs or something.

It's like, oh, yeah, dude, I can't get enough glass. I need more glass or whatever. Uh-huh. But I didn't realize you could spend. the, you know, I guess I kind of thought there might be a lens around the 50K mark, but 100K or more, holy Moses. Oh, yeah, yeah.

The lenses that they use for, like, filming sports games, those professional lenses. Yeah. Hundreds, plural, of thousands of dollars. Yeah, yeah. They're insane. They can, if you watch, not that

I would expect to be watching a baseball game. I certainly wouldn't. I like baseball. It's fun. However, it's all right. If you're watching sports game and you see them zoom way just pay attention to a 10 second zoom in where they're they show the whole field and then that same lens zooms in on a player's nostril hair yeah those lenses are so crazy yeah i think that's why i've watched those games is for the nostril hair so i'm really glad when oh yeah yeah yeah and then all right so the last tip here for your photography just lots and lots of practice digital photos are free the one of the reasons

i shoot photos of my pets is because it's practice um especially when it comes to like tinker with your camera settings to get a shot that is in focus, not blurry, all that's fun stuff. Just lots and lots of practice. Work on your technique. When you're shooting a picture of an animal,

basically what you want to try and do is get their eyes in focus. So focus on the animal's eyes and try and get a shot that isn't too blurry. A huge part of that, especially if you're shooting something far away, is just shooting with a fast enough shutter speed. Yeah.

And the rule of thumb there is, let's say I'm shooting my 600mm lens. I want to shoot at one 600th of a second or faster, usually at least double. So that the image isn't blurry when I take the photo. You don't realize it, but especially when you're zoomed in, when you take the picture, when you push that button, your hand moves the camera and that's enough to cause them. Oh, yeah. Especially all, yeah, if you're all the way in, one micro movement is enough to. Yeah, yeah.

So do you have to get their permission or have them sign a waiver with animals? the birds. No. No, they can't even read. I've tried. Well, at least you tried. See, that's the important part. You tried. The last tip is just patience. Like, the most important thing when it comes to taking pictures of animals is patience. You're going to do a lot of time sitting and waiting for animals to do something. And you can't make them do anything. They will not do the thing you want to do. You just have to wait. Yeah. And like in your case, let's say you're out there looking for those birds you were talking about. What do you want them to do? And how likely it is it is it that they'll do that thing that you want?

With the falcons, I want to get a good shot of them flying. Yeah. So what I'll do is, if I see them in a tree branch, I'll sit there and point the camera at them, and I'll wait. And my camera's set so that when I hold down the shutter button, it takes like five photos all at once. Right. So as soon as they move, I go, ah, sap, zap, sap, zap, sap, zap, sap, sap, tap, tap, and then I cross

my fingers. And I hope that there's a picture of it, like, with its wings stretched out, looking really cool. So far, that hasn't happened yet. And I have a lot of blurry pictures of birds on my phone or on my camera. I was thinking to be cool if there was a way, you know, because all these cameras have little remote triggers now. So you can do that.

So you have less of that movement problem. But if you're birding and you're really focused in on the bird, all hands on deck, it's not like you put it between your knees. Like, what are you going to do? You're not going to do a little kegel exercise to set off the shutter. I have my camera set up on my tripod. tripod pointing at the tree. Yeah.

And I was just, just staring at it for a while. Yeah. Yeah. You can't, you can't not, because the bird will fly away in like three seconds,

and you look up at the, you read Twitter for a moment, you look up the bird's got in the house. Oh, that sucks. Yeah. And then you don't know where the bird is. That's the worst.

It flew off. And you're like, well, now I don't even know where it is. I like the ones that are, I like the ones in those video, like the Attenborough videos where like a weasel or a seal

or something will end up on the guy's head because he's holding so still and has been there so long. He's just part of the furniture. I love that. I think that's so great. Now I want to see you doing that. I want to see Bill with like a happy little bird bouncing around on his head.

There you go. Well, that's great. Good advice. If that sounds fun, it's so funny. I was just talking to Kim about this because we were noticing these new kind of birds around the lake we've never seen before. And we don't know if they were brought there, if they migrated there themselves. Like, we just have all these questions and they're really loud and cool. I have orange heads.

And we thought, oh, it'd be cool if we had a camera where we could just like shoot that. And then here you are talking about it two days later. Hey, look at that. Insane. In the membrane. All right, let's get a bonus link out of you. Let's squeeze that out of you. What do you got this one?

Yeah, got a YouTube video. This is from a channel I just found called Alp. Alpe, A-L-P-A-Y. Alpey. He's an artist, a painter. There are, there's a handful of artists on YouTube who are doing this collaboration where one of them painted part of a painting and then mailed the canvas to the next person they painted another part of it and so on. It's almost done. This guy just added his part and then it's going off to one more

person to get finished, I think. Oh, wow. But it's been a really cool project over the last couple of months to see it come together. Each person adds their own bit to it. And it's a great way to learn about new artists on YouTube. We do this game around here with me and Carter and Nick and others, whoever's around We'll basically pass, you know, an iPad and a pencil around and do this very thing we call it add-on. And it's super simple and easy. But, man, passing around a canvas.

A whole big canvas. Yeah, from place to place. Like, you're not, and you're also, you're, you're not doing anything you can undo. Right. That's, that's intense. That's a big deal. That's cool. I want to, I'm going to watch this whole thing.

But it looks like some of the principles are the same. It's like, hey, I'm going to, I'm going to put something weird here. And then you're going to have to figure out what to do next. with it. Right. Exactly. Yeah. I love that kind of thing. So very, very cool. Oh, and they left him a chunk at the top to work in. There you go. That's great. I love it. I want that on my wall. That'd be rad. I know. I think when they're done, they're going to do prints and stuff, but I think it's going to be a charity thing too, which is pretty neat. It's really cool. Very, very cool. So go check that out. This is freaky. This is pretty freaky. The colors are

awesome though i love that yeah they are i'll pay f a on uh on the uh youtube or their business and they can also find bill over there at punish props and punish props dot com bill have a great week and we'll see you next time all right bye okay bye should do one of these with uh with you carter uh done away steve hammaker uh you joel duggan you whatever dude i've seen you draw you are better than than you think you're actually, I mean, I know you're good. I already know you're good. Just a matter of, you're crazy. Maybe we're both shitty at actual canvases, though, because I am.

Yeah, actually, I'm definitely shitty at canvases? I used to be okay. Can we do just a sheet of cold press? Yeah, let's do a sheet of cold press. It's an appellate envelope a lot better. Yeah, let's do some. Oh, yeah, Audie, of course, yeah. Yeah, get Audi involved, a couple other dudes in the community who all dudes and ladies who like

to draw and paint. That would be really cool. All right. There's your good times with. Bill. And that is kind of the end of the show because what's his name's not here this week? What's his name? Steven Schleiker. He's at the DMV. I think he'd much rather be here on the show with us than be hanging out at the DMV with his son today. Pretty much guaranteed. However, we don't like to leave you empty-handed. And so we won't.

We're going to play much to my chagrin, another edition of me freaking out playing Resident Evil 8. Now, this is the fourth portion of that game play-through. Tonight is the sixth, so the actual live play tonight with me and John, and I think we're done after this one. I'm pretty sure we're going to beat it tonight. So if you've missed any of that series, it's up on YouTube, and Jamie's been putting together this awesome thing. So we're going to play it. I think I probably say shit a lot here. You think?

Yeah, there's probably a lot of sort of, oh, shit, no, no, no, that sort of thing. Me screaming, who knows. But listen and find out in part four of Scott plays Resident Evil 8. It's time to get up right. It's time to kill the monkey on the Muppet show tonight. Happy Monday, bono bencher. What is this throbbing bullshit here? Shit! Oh my shit!

Gosh, dang it. What the hell is this? Shit! Did you see that? John! Pigs! Man rare pig. Hold on. Fish. Oh, shit. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Shit holes.

Shittles. Get on. Dick? Oh, shit. Shit monkeys. What is that? Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, who we got? Who we got?

Ew. Look at his little hosy thing in the back. Wow. He's that. Shit balls. Okay. Oh, shit. Do you ever find that you like to cook chicken?

Oh, no, no, no. Shit monkeys. Ew. That fell. Shit balls. Ugh. Magnum. That's for condoms.

Oh, shit. Now I can open the sluice gate. Shit, my eyes, dude. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

Me. What is this? Oh. That's a big testicle, dude. Mermaid ball! Right in the tail feather. tail feathers, dick. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Shit, oh, shit. Shit, monkeys. Oh, no, no, no. Gosh, dang it. I'm taking the thing out of your crotch. Shit. Came running at me. Dick.

Ooh, he just humped toward me. Come here. Come here, pig. Come here, you dick. Come here. Fire me, Dick. Ooh, baldy, baldy, baldy, magaldy. Oh, oh, no, no.

Oh, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit on me. Shit on me. Shit on me. Please die. Can I ask you a question. Yes. was your battle cry shit on me? I don't know.

Shit, monkeys. I don't know what happened. I don't know what happened. Get away. Get away. Fart. All right, eyeball, Jr. La, la, la, la.

I gotta be here. What do you say? I'm the best. That's so dumb. I'm the best. Oh, my gosh, dude. I've been getting. crap about that shit on me all week.

Yeah, with good reason. That feels like a weird thing to utter in times of peril. Well, somebody pointed out, and J.K. Gramer, I bet could be the guy to find this real fast. But I said, or somebody found the movie clip from a movie we saw for Film Sack where I yelled shit or where the character yells shit on me while he's getting killed or chased or something. and it made me think maybe subconsciously that's where I where that got pulled from oh is this it third illusion all right let's play it wow the crow okay yeah yeah so the crow we would watch that

forever ago yeah um and here's that guy yelling that so here you go you're looking for a car in her shit for brains okay shoots at the crow and the crow heals shit oh shit on me shit on me

Shit on me! All right, so I think that's maybe it. Wow, maybe. That's bizarre, yeah. I don't know. When I saw that, I've kind of flipped out a little because I was like, oh, okay, now I get it. That is my favorite REM song, by the way, is shit on me. Oh, shit on me was amazing.

That was all part of automatic for the people. Oh, shit on me. It's the end of the shit. Shit on me. Yeah, see. That's exactly it. All right. Well, I got to give that to John, because I don't think he's seen that yet.

But he'll laugh at the head off because he thinks it's so weird that I would say that. Now I feel like I've been a little vindicated. Our brains are weird. We pull out old memories. Perhaps that was it. A little bit. All right. Moving on.

And a reminder there at the end here, tiny. Uh, sorry, tiny URL.com slash jamie family fun. Go help him out. He, uh, is awesome. With a D, yeah. With a D. The family fund GoFundMe will happen later, but the fund is for now. And again, thanks to J.K. Grammer for spearheading that.

Yeah, really just like 150 bucks away from the goal. Oh, we get there in no time. Getting that emergency surgery taken care of. Yeah, let's get over that hump, you guys, and help our old pal out. What beautiful family, by the way, that Jamie has. Oh, yeah, they're great. Look at those kids. Come on now.

He just wanted to just hang out with his kids. Forget Jamie. Let's just hang out of his kids. Just kidding, Jamie. I just, I'm a sucker for cool kids and great parents, and you guys seem like you're awesome. So, well done. All right.

We're out of here, a reminder to the fine folks at home that the show is not free. It may seem to some of you that it is. But it's really on the backs of those who support us at Patreon. Without them, we wouldn't have a show. So if you want cool stuff in the mail every month, if you want constant bonus content every day of the week that we do a show, Do you want free shows all the time and extra stuff? That's how you get it.

So go take advantage of our poor planning and sign up today. Patreon.com slash TMS. And for everything else, song requests, whatever you're looking for. Frogpants.com slash TMS. And if you're trying to email us, that's super simple in 2021. Just send us an email the morning stream at gmail.com. All right, Brian. True.

I believe that's all the tail end of the business of the show. Unless you have anything. one more thing. Yeah, tell us about the play date, please. This Friday play date, yes, the day before I go on a 78-mile bike ride, like a fool, we're going to play some games with you guys for patrons and for non-patrons. Tuesday, I'm sorry, Tuesday, Friday at 2 p.m. I was putting the 2 in the day.

Friday, the 25th of June at 2 p.m. Mountain Time. We're going to be doing a Friday night. so come join us play games with us do all that fun stuff and uh we'd love to see you there yeah it'll be great i'm very much looking forward to it and uh a tiny reminder that that uh should be obvious but maybe it's not for some that means no pm on friday that'll be this instead as a result i'm going to see if i can get dan to come join us if he's around i don't know if he'll be oh perfect yes love to love to bring dan in on some of these and uh possibly other friends if they're around but one way or the other for sure 2 p.m. this Friday so it's our monthly play date come join us if you would and I think

that probably means we have a Gidgett Thursday I haven't actually we didn't we would normally but we don't this time around she will be joining us on the 8th of July okay perfect so two weeks from Thursday that's a good time because I'll be gone the Thursday before that for my family 1st of July, right. Yeah. So many family reunions. There's a lot going on. Everybody got vaxed, man.

We're just, everybody can do their shit again, I guess, a little bit, somewhat, kind of. For those who can't, I apologize for making it sound so flippant. But, yeah, some of us are trying anyway. There's a couple of not-vaxers who are coming to this, and I'm all out of things to tell them. So I just sort of show up and tell them, I hope they don't get it and spread it and, you know. have them not be part of the problem. That would be, that would be cool. I don't know what you're doing down there, Arizona,

but why all these Arizona people are convinced that they don't need to do it? I don't know what you're doing. What are you doing down there? Excessive heat kills the virus. The sun will kill it. We don't need to worry about it. Yeah, we didn't have some of the worst cases ever last year. It'll kill it.

All right. That's it. We're done. Song from you, please. Okay. Jesse Miller wrote in and said, My son Wyatt turns six years old. He loves Tom Petty.

That's awesome. some musical taste, by the way, for a six-year-old, I got to say. He loves Tom Petty and will often sing what he is saying to the tune of Renan Down a Dream. Cracks me up every time. So with that being said, happy birthday Wyatt, do-do. Happy birthday Wyatt, do-do. Happy birthday, Wyatt, do-do.

There you go. Happy birthday to you. Take that, Wyatt. It's even better. This is a cover by the band, Murder by Death. These guys are awesome. to Colorado every Halloween and do shows at the shining hotel, the

one up in Estes Park, the Stanley that inspired the the book. Murder by Death is great for their Kickstarter in 2019. They let people who supported them choose what covers they wanted to hear the Bend do. This is one of them. From the As You Wish Kickstarter covers Volume 3, here's Murder by Death and Running Down a Dream. See you guys tomorrow. It was a beautiful day

The sun beat down I had the radio I was dry Trails flew by Me and Dell was singing A little run away I was fine Yeah, running down a dream

I never would come deep Working on a mystery Going wherever needs Running down a dream I felt so good Like anything was possible I hit cruise control remind

For last weekdays The rain was unstoppable It was always cold No sunshine Yeah Running down a tree We never would come in

Working on a mystery Going on a mystery Going wherever it needs Running down a tree I'll roll on, as a sky grew dark, I'll put the pedal down to make so tight. Been down slow I'm picking up Whatever is mine

Yeah, running down a tree Never would come to me I've worked in on a mystery Going wherever it needs Running down a tree Yeah, running down a tree Yeah, running down a tree That never would come with me

Working on a mystery Going wherever it leads Running down a tree Woo. Woo. I'm Oh Oh

Oh Yeah And Mm-hmm Mm-hmm Oh Oh Oh

Oh I'm Oh Yeah I You know, I'm going to be able to be. This show is part of the Frog Pants Network. Get more shows like this at frogpants.com.

You like you, lasagna? Oh, yeah, I do. Yeah, you like you, you like you. I like my lasagna.