The Morning Stream - TMS 2142: Pig Wrecked em

Episode Date: July 13, 2021

It's okay to send your parents sex videos. Just don't make it weird. These Things Do Not Afraid Me! No Anus Beetles, thank you. The wiener just came out and I can't put it back. Good luck on the weird sex, I'm British. I Don't Like EarWiiiiiiiiigs. 7 Ex's And A Blake Lively! How Buzzfeed Are You? You're Going To Sploosh On Top Of The Spaghetti! I Should, but then I Don't. Stop Trying to Make Fert Happen. I don't care what that Grizzly Bear is wearing. I'm not sharing its elevator. Welcome to the Orgy. Where Should I Stick the Candelabra? The Heaton is On with Jury and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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promo code TMS at checkout. Just pay $5 shipping. That's bluechew.com promo code TMS to receive your first month free. Coming up on TMS, it's okay to send your parents' sex videos. Just don't make it weird. These things do not afraid me. No anus beetles, thank you. The winner just came out and I can't put it back. Good luck on the weird sex. I'm British. I don't like earwigs. Full agreement. Seven X's and a Blake lively. How BuzzFeed are you? You're going to sploosh on top of that spaghetti. I should, but then I don't.

Stop trying to make Firt happen. I don't care what that grizzly bear is wearing. I'm not sharing its elevator. Welcome to the orgy. Where should I stick the candelabra? The Heaton is on with jury and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Joker, where is Lois Lane and Superman? I'm going to come find them and save them.

If you knew it was me, Would you have listened? Man who can catch fly with Chopstick Accomplish Anything. This is the morning stream. Good morning, everybody. Welcome back to TMS. It's Tuesday, July 13th, 2021.

It's my mother's birthday today. Aw. Yeah. Mama, Mother Johnson! Mother Johnson! I got to call her later and, you know, wish her all the happiness and all that. Of course. Yeah.

But anyway, it's a Tuesday. There was no show yesterday. And you probably noticed that we didn't have a show yesterday. I tried to report it. Although, you know what? Why break the illusion? If somebody experienced a show yesterday, why don't let's not take him out of that false? No.

You know, maybe they had some really good drugs, and they said, oh, no, I remember, I remember a show yesterday. I remember Scott and Brian talking in my ear. Yeah, who are we to poopoo on your, on your weird audio hallucination? That's a hard word to say today for some reason. I haven't enough time pooping it out. Anyway, yeah, so I screwed around on stream and had some fun, but we miss Brian, but he's back, we're here. Yeah. We got it.

You know, sometimes stuff comes up, everybody. You just got to. Totally. You've got to roll with it. Listen, this should be a lesson to those who are not Patreon supporters. Yeah. You know, get in there and become a supporter, become a Patreon supporter. And then I can say no to freelance clients that have four-month projects. Yeah.

That's what I'm going to say about that. Yeah, so it's the way in case they might listen. That's what I'm worried about. I don't want to like, I don't want to say anything bad about a client. I love my clients. lovely people. I'm sure they're wonderful people. There are clients of mine in the chat room right now that I do design work for, do stuff for it. Yeah, and you love them as well. You love

them. I love them as well. I love them all equally. Yeah. Just like there's no favorites here. Okay. No. No. Um, but anyway, we're back. But if I had to pick a least favorite. You had to. If you had a gun to your head. Just kidding. All right. Let's keep going. Let's keep going. All right. Well, check this out. We got a few things this morning to take care of. Later, Justin will be here. with a special guest. Yeah, I know that sounds weird,

but he's bringing somebody with him. And I'm going to give you a hint. It's not really a hint. But let's just say he's bringing somebody with him. I've actually been on this person's show. And he wrote a book called Los Angeles is hideous. Poems about an Ugly City. Got it.

Okay, I know exactly who it is. You probably know who this is. Yeah, it's a famed Yondo actor, Michael Rooker. There you go. yandu finally on tms after all this time um no it is not brian brushwood everybody it's somebody totally different so watch for that um and i think people literally think it's brian it's not it is not no it is not although it could be brian doing an impersonation to somebody else we never know i don't know i've never heard him do an impression before but i'm open to new ideas brian i'm open

yeah um but yeah that's all we need is one more brian on this freaking network oh my gosh there's so many bryans bryans everywhere you look brian brian brian this this town is ugly with bryans yep lousy with them ugly town of lousy that's lord lousy with bryans all right uh to start things off this is funny i think so we always make fun of these dumb uh buzzfeed quizzes you know oh yeah right had somebody write in and said you should do this one because it's currently rated the worst buzzfeed quiz ever made. Oh, that's fantastic. Yeah. Which Disney soundtrack are you? Apparently, this is worse than that. It is called, tell me. Which real housewife are you? Here's the real, here's the actual title. How brave are you actually? Okay. Oh, okay. All right.

Now, this isn't going to teach us anything, but we're going to try it. Let's go into the fear zone, says the subtitle on this. Oh, man. All right. Can you do the whole thing as Joe Rogan? No, I refuse to do it. Let's see. Well, just in front of you in a little ball is some pig rectum. You got to eat that pig rectum and then walk across his tightrope. I feel like he doesn't talk like that anymore. He might. I don't think it does.

He'll always talk like news radio show. Yeah, that's true. Well, if they give me Joe Rogan money, I'll happily do the whole thing in his voice. Yeah, sure. Right. Yeah, no kidding. All right. So here's Brian, I'm going to quiz you.

All right. Test my fear level. How brave am I? Yeah. Let's test your metal as the old phrase goes. All right. So here we go. Which scenario would scare you the most?

And then I'll give you some choices. Okay. All right. Being mocked by a small group of very mean teenagers. Okay. No definite. I don't have any definition on what they mean by very mean. I don't know.

Sure. Like it would be Lindsay Lohan and. Very mean girls. And Lacey Chabere. And, uh, whoa, points for remembering her name. I don't remember her name. That's amazing. Well done. Thanks. My pleasure. I've never even seen that movie. All right. Oh, really? Oh, you should make, you should watch it, make fetch happen.

Yeah. Should I watch, uh, I feel like that movie? You should watch Mean Girls. It is actually, it is, it is worth saying. I feel like it wasn't made for me, but maybe I'll, maybe I need to see it. You know, those movies, did you ever see like 10 Things I Hate About You? You saw Heather's. Yeah, so Heather's 10 things I hate about you. I've seen... I mean, these are high school life that is not targeted towards any gender or not. Okay.

All right, I'll check it out. Anyway, okay, all right, mocked by a group of mean teenagers. Very mean teenagers. Very mean, the operative word. So basically, if I were put up a TikTok video, this is what I would get. This is exactly what you would get. Yep, very well said. All right, chased by a gang of angry best buy employees, all wearing blue polos and khaki slacks.

which is to say Best Buy employees. I don't know why they had to put that. Yeah, it would be the only time in history you could actually find a Best Buy employee. You're right. You're right. All right.

Next one. You are making out with someone hot, but they suddenly have tentacle arms. All right? You're starting to see why this is a terrible quiz. Yeah, I really am. Yeah, this is horrible. Being forced to wear nothing but tube socks

and a hot pink baseball cap in public for three weeks. By the way, there's a third tube sock. Three weeks. Yeah, there's a third tube socks. sock, by the way. A third one. Oh, I can wear three tube socks. Like I'm flea. Okay. Yeah, like your flea. Or your Anthony Keaton flea. You know, it really

could be one of those no-shows. It'd be fine. All right. Then you got someone emails one of those free ones they give you at the shoe store in case you show up and top siders. Oh, those are so gross. I never want to put one of those on again. All right. Final two on this one. Someone emails your mommy and or daddy

videos of you having weird sex. again oh okay like if like if i were to do the uh who's your daddy kind of thing oh that's the way i say it during sex by the who is your daddy well this is it saying literally your parents would get the video of you doing something weird oh your mommy and daddy wait okay so emailing me oh emailing your mommy and daddy yeah the videos of you having sex not emailing your mommy and daddy videos right of you having me i got you yeah of weird sex it says whatever that means of weird sex yeah um good luck I'm British.

Finally, I ain't scared of none of these things. Okay, so those are your options. The teenagers, the Best Buy, the tentacle arms, the baseball cap and sock, or mom and dad emails, or none of those. You know, well, it's funny because it asks you which you'd be most afraid of. I guess the none of them is like, no, I'm equally not afraid of any of those things. Yeah, it's like none of the above, basically. Yeah.

Um, let's see. But that's my, maybe why this is a bad quiz, because you shouldn't have. They're not all on the same level, right? I mean, there's, yeah. Right. There shouldn't be, there shouldn't be a get out of jail card at the end, I don't think. The Best Buy in place thing is just dumb. It's like, Bill, we really need a fifth item here.

What can you come up with? I don't know, Geek Squad. Geek Squad, sure. Why not? Uh, I mean, the public nudity thing, just because, uh, it's not really a fear, but I sunburn easily, so that, that's a problem. That one's out. That one's out.

You know what, let's, let's say that. I'll do the, let's, let's, let's, so I can pick one, we can move on. Let's do the, uh, the public nudity. All right, public news, tube socks only, and a hat and pink hat. All right. Sure. Let's choose it. Uh, why I want to work.

Hold on. Okay, next one. Which situation would freak you out the most, standing on the edge of the roof of a very tall building being forced to stare at the blinking dot, dot, dot, dot, on your phone. as you wait for texts from your crush for the 24 hours straight. So 24 hours of dot, dot, dot. Wow. Yeah. Being trapped in an elevator with a hungry grizzly bear wearing a blue polo and khaki slacked of the Best Buy employees.

Somebody just recently got fired from Best Buy and wrote this quiz. That's what it feels like. Getting framed for selling crystal meth to toddlers at a jimberie, having to eat daily at a deli that is strongly rumored occasionally secretly to be having to be serving human meat. Uh, or these things do not afraid me. That's literally how it's written. These things do not afraid me. Yeah.

Again, we're starting to see why. Yeah, I can see why this is the lowest rated quiz on BuzzFeed. Bad quiz. Uh, hard to top that grizzly bear in an elevator. I don't care what the grizzly bear is wearing, but, um, you're, you're going to die quickly. And, and, uh, I mean, you're going to, you're going to be mulled quickly. You may die slowly. It's not going to be pleasant, but you're, there's not a situation where you can say, oh, I could get out of it by pushing the emergency stop button.

I agree. I agree. Yeah. That's why I choose. The, um, it's funny because the standing on the edge of a building thing does freak me out. You wouldn't think it would freak me out after doing the, the jump off of the stratosphere deal. Right. But, um, if I don't have, I mean, I had a harness.

on for that. Yeah, you did. And so that was less, less freaky. But, uh, uh, yeah, the whole standing on the edge of a tall building without a harness freaks me out. Well, let's see. But, uh, but I'll say, I'll say the grizzly. You'll say the bear?

Okay. Yeah. All right. Choosing the bear. Sometimes you choose the bar. Sometimes the bar chooses you. Oh, there aren't too many left. Okay.

All right. You ready for this next one? I'm ready for number three. Which sweat, sweat, stretching? I think I had a stress. stroke. Which situation would frighten you the most? Sweching was my favorite character in Jersey short, by the way. The Sweching, yeah. Almost as much as snaky.

They're both in all kinds of trouble these days, but boy, Sweeting is snaky. They could get into some trouble. All right. Which situation would frighten you the most? Getting trapped in a basement, teeming with a wide variety of insects, having to do a TED talk about your weirdest masturbatory fantasies. But the audience is entirely members of your family. That's an important aspect of that one. Oh, geez. Are they all wearing Best Buy? Oh, I'll wait because we might get a Yeah, you might get another reference in here. Oh, you do actually, and I hate it. Of course we do. Yeah. All right. This is dumb. Next one. Be ghost with both LSD and PCP without knowing it before going to a close friend's wedding.

Sounds like fun. Here's the dumb one. Having all of your body. That's a tall statement to say this is the dumb one. But anyway, here's a really dumb one. Having all of your body hair shaved off against your will by sick freaks wearing blue polos and khaki slacks being sent to your boss it's not a funny callback dudes if you keep putting it every question yep being sent i agree uh being sent to your boss or school principal to uh something called the bludgeon room or finally no way i ain't scared of this stuff you got to do better to scare me buddy so we go back to the ted talk thing again so it's masturbatory fantasy so fantasy is about masturbating no i assume it's like the fantasies you think of while you're masturbating yes so my i'm sure that won't get isolated consists of me getting up on stage

going yo tell you what i want what i really really want so tell me what you want what you're you would just describe the spice girls i would just sing you know a lot of being thank you for thank you for coming that's my ted talk my time is up very odd All right. So that's with, you know, Tina, Tristan, your parents. Everybody's down there looking at you while you're doing this. Right. So that's how you choose there. So you got the insects. You got that. You got the wedding with the drugs. You got to shave yourself off by the employees at Best Buy or that school bludgeon room. Yeah, I feel like the insects do kind of freak me out. Like an infestation freaks me out. Yeah, I don't like it. I get freaked out. We were in the storage locker. I had all those computers and finally got that thing cleared out. And now we're just kind of breaking down boxes and dumping a ton of those stupid packing peanuts into bags.

And we moved a box and an earwig came out from underneath of it. Oh, I don't like earwigs. I don't like earwigs too. And I stomped on and Tina's like, wow, you really don't like your wigs. It's like married for nearly 30 years here. And she's just now finding out that I don't like your wigs. I don't like an animal who. who one fifth of their body.

Yeah. It looks like a pair of scissors. I just don't like that. I don't either. Or one half of their name is about where they want to go while I'm sleeping. Right. Yes, exactly. Like anus beetles. No, thank you.

I don't need one of those. Anus beetles. Yeah. Anyway, okay. I think I told you that story. Insects. Okay, we're choosing insects. All right.

Here we go. Boom. All right. I think there's two more here. Okay. Which of these things would make you tremble and fear, having your crush cruelly and insist, or you, and insist that you are so smelly on live television broadcast viewed by millions of people? So basically, she gets on camera, she, she, you know, rejects you, hate you, and then says you stink on air. Been there. Been there. Easy peasy. No big deal.

Yeah. Being tossed into the deepest part of a lake full of spaghetti and tomato sauce. I'll forget that, just put the leg part. I'd freak me out. Yeah. You know, leaving me out there. Anyway, waking up to discover you have been tattooed, so it looks like you are wearing a blue polo and khaki slacks, Brian. There's a fresh joke for you.

Jeez. Yeah, yeah. That's right off the factory line there, that joke. Yeah. Next one, finding out that there is a hugely viral meme with you making a very dumb-looking face. I'm sorry, Brian's kind of done that. You kind of have this. Hashtag, Imit bomb.

Yeah, we have Ibit bomb. That exists. That exists. That's pretty funny. That's great. Yeah, there's a bar in the Prague, I think, with that sticker in the bathroom. Prague? That's amazing.

Yeah. That's so cool. I want to kind of debauchery. Thanks to our buddy less, I believe. Oh, less, not Claypool. Less. Yeah, less clear. Our buddy from Primus.

Yeah. Our Primus friend. Let's get part. Skeb Hart, teaching the English, putting stickers on walls. Good job there. Exactly, yes. All right. Final two, or, well, the last one is you're not scared, but this last one, getting

locked in a cell with somebody who has been genetically modified to look and talk exactly like Jar Jar Binks. That could just say, get locked in a cell with Jar Jor Binks. I don't know why they had to go on forever. Yeah. Oh, genetically modified, though. I'd be fascinated. Are you kidding me?

I'd be like, well, what's that process like? Yeah, none of these have been too scary except for maybe the, I don't know. Well, what would you say? The spaghetti one or what? What do you like? No, a spaghetti one doesn't. If you fill a lake with, this person did not think about this. Because really, if you fill a lake with spaghetti and tomato sauce, it's probably going to be denser than water.

And you're probably not going to sink. You're just going to kind of like sploosh on the top. All right. It's not quite like, what do they call that? What do they call that pneumatic fluid? It's not quite that. Right. Is it pneumatic?

Whatever it is, where you can jump on it. You're talking about like the, oh, oh, oh, right, like what happens to water and cornstarch kind of. Yeah, you can make your own with cornstarch. But if you run on it, it doesn't sink. But if you stand there, you will sink. Newtonian. Newtonian, that's it. Non-Newtonian fluid, yeah.

There we go. Yes, Spaghettiin. So I'm actually going to say, none of those things really scare me. I mean, I'd be more scared by the tattoo only because it's like, well, that kind of locks me into a problem. Yeah. It doesn't really scare me as much as it inconveniences me greatly for the rest of my life. Yeah. So, but not really scare you, just annoy you. So are you saying, ain't scared to no ghosts, it says, is the fifth answer? Yeah, all right. We'll say I'm not scared. I ain't scared to no ghosts. That one is. Yeah, which has, it's a Ghostbusters reference, completely wrong use. It's dumb. I can't believe they put it in here. Right. But we'll choose it. All right. Final question. And then we're off to the races. We're going to find out what you're truly scared of, all right?

All right. All right. Let's see. Fire this person, by the way. Whoever wrote this. Yeah, they're bad. Just let them go. Let them make their way over to engage it or, you know, something else.

I just thought they didn't pay for it. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, right. Like, did you freelance this? Because, oof, get that hundred bucks back. All right. Here we go. Final question.

What scenario afraid you the most, says the title. I know. Being the guest to. That's fair that. that stupid turn of the phrase yeah exactly yeah being the guest of honor at an ornate orgy held on the estate of chad croger from nickelback all right uh being forced to have a chain fight to the death with your best friend in the parking lot of a wendy's all right it's weird it's weird combination of things finding out that everybody around you at all times can hear every single

thing you think. That's very existential. Some people believe that. Having a group of mean teen girls appear every time you feel awkward for the rest of your life. It feels like they're coming back to the well on that one a little bit. This person worked at a Best Buy and got mocked by teens. Clearly.

And this isn't their BuzzFeed quiz. This is their therapy. Yeah. This is their diary, man. Yeah. Being captured and put in a cage dressed in an ill-fitting blue polo and khaki slacks. This is a new joke here. On the private island of Hubert Jolly, the CEO of Best Buy.

This guy must really hate. He must really hate Best Buy, for real. Yeah. It wouldn't matter if I'm on an island or not if I'm in a... It doesn't matter. It doesn't freaking matter. The final answer, obviously, is I fear nothing. Do you hear me nothing?

Okay, so of those... So the chain fight is to the death? Chain fight is to the sea. Chain fight to the death, yep. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm picking that one. I mean, and Mojo Finger, too, I was actually going to say that. What does make an orgy ornate?

Like, are candelabras involved? Right, right. I don't know what ornate means. Are there jewel-encrusted objects being used? Yeah, I mean, either having to kill somebody or be killed kind of scares me. Especially somebody you care about. Yeah, or somebody you care about. Like, this is Kirk and Spock having to fight.

like some alien made them or whatever. It's bad. Right. Yes. By the way, disturbed angel said also not the CEO anymore. No, we know. This is an old quiz. It's rated to the worst quiz.

That's the issue. Yeah, that's your issue with it. Wow. All right. So I'm going to choose the kill your friend. Yeah, choose the fight to the death. All right. Here is your final.

I can't wait to see what this all determines about me. It says you are reasonably brave. You aren't normally a scared person, but you have fears, reasonable fears. That's it. Lord. That's it. Not worth it. That wasn't there.

Any chance that making any other choices in this quiz would result in a different answer. I mean, it doesn't feel like it does it? No. It feels like... Hey, I'll tell you one of my fears. It's having, being on the stream and having anything in my nose, boogers or something. Oh, I keep a little... Oh, look at that.

A little vanity mirror. I like that. Wait, what's that? Not vanity mirror. What's that called? A little, uh, uh, it's almost like a compact, but it's, I don't know what the deal is where I got this thing, but it's, um, it's orange rubberized with two mirrors inside it. Oh, that looks like glasses, but, you know. Look, I'm Nikki, uh, Nikki from A&P.

For those of you, those of you don't know what I'm talking about, uh, Nikki Eckerns from America's Next Top podcaster has a profile pick that has really, large, oversized glasses, and it's kind of funny. Yeah. She's the goofiest scientist, I know, by the way. She is, and probably the best. Oh, I love, I think she's amazing. Her combination of goofy and science is awesome. Unmatched. It truly is unmatched, yeah.

Well, Brian, well done. You're not that afraid. You're reasonably afraid. Yeah, clear, clearly. But that was a test of this quiz. We're afraid of ever doing another BuzzFeed quiz on that level. I mean, this is the quiz. the quiz, the quiz really came down to, is this truly the worst BuzzFeed quiz that we've done on the show? 100% agree.

It totally is. So Paul, who sent me that, thank you for that. You were right. It was correct and it's bad. And we may never do another one. Like that might have just ruined it. So good job on that and well done. Talley, you okay there in the chat?

How are you feeling? All right. I wonder how Talley feels about. She's also a scientist, but I don't think of you that way. Oh, that's true. That's true. I think of her as, like, the person that tells me I'm not playing, that she hates EA and I'm not playing enough Baldersgate previews. So that's just that.

But, hey, I respect your neuroscience background, truly. This is true. You know what? I apologize, Talley. You and Nikki are our favorite scientists. That's right. And you know what? Let's go ahead and lump Bobby in there, even though he's not necessarily got the same scholastic training.

he's very knowledgeable he can hang out. He's science by proxy. Yeah. Science by proxy. He's tangent to scientists. There you go. Science tangent. Science scientifically tangent. Oh, how many people can we offend in this? I don't know. Is there a limit? All right. Let's move on. Brian, you went and saw a black whittah and get a meetup. I'm dying to hear about. I'm mostly curious about the meetup because I think I know how you felt about the movie. But go ahead and tell us. Yeah. Let's do both. So we do. We did a meetup. We did a meetup. We did a meetup. I'm mostly curious about the movie. We

did the Denver Tadpool meet up this last weekend. And the plan is, or plan was to get together, do an escape room and then go see Black Widow right after it. Grab some dinner and then go see Black Widow immediately afterwards. And so we'd arranged two one-hour escape rooms from this company, this local company called P-U-Z-Z-A-H. And I think they've got a couple different locations. But this is like it's one, it's in a mall and they've got some money behind it and, you know, blah, blah, blah.

Anyway, so we had a medium hard room for my group and a medium easy room for a group headed up by Clark and Nikki Moore, who they've done a bunch of puzzle rooms, but we wanted to have a good variety. Plus, this place only has three rooms. Two of them are hour long. One of them is a 30-minute room. We get there. I'm sorry, just understood the reference for the name, Puzzah, it's P-U-Z-Z-E-Z, like puzzle. Okay. Oh, yeah, yeah, like puzzle, ha-zah.

Like, they're combining puzzles and hazah. Yeah, horrendous. Hazah. But go ahead. Yeah, yeah. They're great, season two, coming soon. So we get there and I check in, and she says, oh, we didn't have your phone number, so there was no way for us to contact you, but the room you booked is malfunctioning right now. Oh, no.

And there's a little part of me thinking, wow, you're starting with the, uh, the, the, storyline the setup pretty early like uh we're going to get in there and we know that this thing is malfunctioning it's like a part of the story no nope they they said no we can't put you in that room so we're going to put you in the 30 minute room we're basically going to make it free for you so um we're going to refund what you paid for the um for the one hour room um or give you a gift card and uh and then you can do the 30 minute room for free while the other room is the other people are in the one-hour room. I'm like, yeah, our good.

That's cool. I really was hoping for a one-hour room, but whatever. So Clark and Nikki in their group went in there and did their one-hour room. We went and did the 30-minute room, and then we just came and kind of hung out and chatted outside of the theater. But it was a really cool, it was very Indiana Jones and did involve, like, being in kind of an Egyptian temple and having to, you know, use the symbols on the walls of the room and a weighted device in the middle and move some tiles around, things like that, to be able to open the door. The door, by the way, not locked at all during the whole time. Okay, so you're not feeling like you're screwed if you have a panic.

I never, I never feel like that, with escape rooms, never feel that claustrophobia or that, that dire danger of, oh, my God, the room is really locked. but you know in this case it really didn't matter because it was like they left that unlocked here's what's really cool about this place they use a lot of RFID and and computer-based time-phased messages in other words you go in the room they press a button and there's a 30-minute sequence of events that's going to happen and some of it's triggered by by RFID. Some of it is just triggered by by time. And the way the puzzles are done,

the state that you leave, the completed state that you leave the puzzle in is the equivalent of how it, let me rephrase it, is the scrambled way that the next team is going to

need to solve it. So, in other words, we leave the room at 359. The next group is in there at 4 o'clock. Nobody needs to go into this room and reset everything because the state we left it in is actually the state it needs to be scrambled for the next team. It's not like, oh, all the red things are lined up and all the yellow things are lined up and blah, blah, blah, blah. It's like, no, it's in a scrabble city. It's a brilliant way to do it.

And so we did our room. We actually completed all the puzzles and all of the bonus puzzles and had five minutes left over. The one-hour team completed all their puzzles. They made two mistakes, but they completed all their puzzles and the bonus puzzles and also had like 10, I think 10 minutes left over in their room. Gotcha. So we, you know, Denver Tadpool, a smart bunch. Yeah, they're smart as a whip, as my dad would say, as a whip. That's right. Barry, very focal also from Chicago joined us for this.

Came out and was a Denver Tadpooler by proxy. Nice. Because he wanted to come see Black Widow with all of us. So he participated in all this stuff. All right. So anyway, so we did that and it was a blast. It really, I get to tell you, Scott, doing one of those really makes me feel like it's my calling to be a puzzle or an escape room company owner and design escape room. 100% percent.

Totally. Like, I left there and I'm thinking, oh, my God, how cool it would be to have a, you're locked in a country. comic book store. Yeah. And you need to figure out, you know, where these certain issues are in these boxes to be able to get the next thing to unlock the door, blah, blah, blah. So I'd play it. I'd totally play your escape room.

Yeah. Yeah. I just need a hookup. If there was somebody here in the Denver area that I knew, that was really good with, like, wood and building things and structural stuff, I don't know. I wish there was somebody. You could talk to those pazaar people, see if they've got. got, I don't know, options.

Hey, pizade. No, are you kidding? I'm going to buy my own, I'm going to buy my own little, uh, strip mall office space and do it in there. Oh, perfect. I was implying that I should hook up with Mark. Oh, from the Wood Whisper to build stuff. Got it.

He could build whatever you need. He could build whatever I need, exactly. That's a good idea. All right. So, anyway, so escape room done. We went and had dinner, and then we went and saw Black Widow. And just kind of a quick, no-spoilery review. It's, um, it's, um, um,

I enjoyed it. They made a, I mean, it's a surprise. It's a Marvel movie. It's a low-stakes Marvel movie because you know what happens to the characters, at least a couple of the characters, you know what's going to happen. Right. This is a prequel of sorts, and what's the timeline? It's between, what, like Winter Soldier and Civil War or something? Technically between Civil War and Infinity War, but actually even overlapping in Civil War.

Okay. This takes place right after the battle at the airport, but some of the things that happen in Civil War are still an issue by the time this movie ends, if that makes sense. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. So this almost completely takes place within Civil War, but kind of. I mean, the next time you see Black Widow is in Infinity War, so. Right. That makes sense.

Okay. There's great connections to some of the Marvel TV, the Disney plus TV stuff. Oh, yeah. It's more connected to that than any MC movie has been, right? Yes, without a doubt. We haven't had, since the Disney TV stuff has been out, we haven't had any other MCU movies. Yeah, good point. But, yes, very connected.

So if you haven't seen all the Disney TV stuff, or Disney Plus Marvel stuff, then you should make sure to get caught up at least on one specific series that's not called Wanda Vision or Loki. Oh, I know which one it must be. It must be, yes. And it ain't the Modoc thing. Icarly. Oh, not I Carly.

Yeah, that's exactly. Anyway, not, not, certainly not the worst Marvel movie, not the best, but everybody who's saying that Florence Pugh absolutely steals the show without a doubt. She's fantastic. I want more of her character. I want more of Yelena. Yelena. And Yelena. They made one change to a character that, um,

that I liked, but kind of bummed me out that we're not going to get a quote-unquote real version of that character, a real MCU, or a real comic version of that character. All right. Oh, how's the Red Menace or whatever's name is? The Red Guardian. David Harbour's fantastic. He's hilarious. He, you know, it's really he and Florence Pugh's movie.

Oh, that's good. I like both of those people a lot. I feel a little bad for Scojo for, you know. taking, they're feeling a little second fiddle according to a lot of reviews I'm reading, but totally, but I'm fine with it. Those two are, those two, she, those two eat up the screen anytime they're on, they're on screen. They're fantastic. And, uh, um, yeah, no, it, it, uh, it, uh, it, uh, it's, uh, it's, you know, I'd put it, I'd put it around the same level as like Captain Marvel or the first Ant Man movie. It's, uh, um, it's a good Marvel, a good MCU film. Um, it's, it's, uh, it's, uh,

adequate. It, it, it moves the story along and the action sequences are, are really well done. There's some special effects in there that are absolutely amazing. Nice. I like it. But, uh, yeah, but I, I, I, I, enjoyed it. All right. Stephanie did not enjoy Captain Marvel. Oh, she, yeah, I still haven't seen it, but I need to,

so now I got a brand new Marvel movie I haven't seen yet. And I have really no excuse because I could just rent it and watch it. Yeah, I mean, really. And what are you waiting for on Ant-Man the Wasp or Captain Marvel? Or the last three Pixar, well, last two Pixar movies I haven't seen. Well, I'm just talking about MCU-wise. I mean, how, you know. I don't know.

All of this stuff. I don't know why I wait for any of it. I don't know what my problem is. You know what? Part of it's that Netflix thing where I just know it's there now. That's the problem. Yeah. I know.

Or parasite for that matter. Yeah. I didn't want to say it. I wasn't planning on saying it. It's almost becoming the, uh, my Mad Max Fury Road a little bit. But parasites still on Hulu, I think. Right? Is it?

Uh, hold on. I should know this. Probably is. Let's see here. Feels like it's their kind of permanent. But yeah, Hulu still has it. Canopy Hulu and then a bunch of rentals. Yeah, I don't know.

I just, because when stuff stays, I just kind of go, all right. Well, I'll get to that. And then I don't. But I should, but then I don't. Yeah. But I should. You should. But then I don't.

Yeah. Oh, so Stephanie corrects herself. It's not that she didn't like Captain Marvel. She just thought the Black Widow was way better than Captain Marvel. Oh, okay. Yeah, I'd say it's better. What's how it is with MC movies. It's all just a relative.

You know, we're not comparing it to other cinema. It's kind of comparing them to each other is all you can really do. Yep. It's totally fine. All right. It sets up some great stuff that I can't wait to see how it pays off. I'll say that. All right.

Well, then my, once again, my weird crush on Florence Pew justified. Justified, for sure. I think she's great. Oh, I was going to ask you a prediction here. Do you think she, does she end up moving on? I mean, there's certainly comic book implications for her character. to do certain things. Do you think she's your next phase,

your next Avengers phase, perhaps? I believe that phase four Avengers are going to be Sam Wilson, Jane Foster's Thor. Yeah. So you get your Captain America is going to be Sam Wilson. You've got your Jane Foster Thor. You've got your Yelena Belova Black Widow.

and, oh, would we get a She-Hulk? Would She-Hulk move from TV into the movies and be? Probably not. I'd still say you're going to have your regular Hulk and your regular, your regular old Hawkeye. You think Bucky fits in there at all? Is he hang him around and take an official role? Yeah, probably.

Okay. Yeah. Huh. All right. I'm interested in where all that goes. You think we get, what's his name's sister? Tachala's sister Oh, Shuri.

Yeah, Shuri, she'd be good. Yeah, actually, that's a likelihood as well. I'd say there's even possibility based on some of the things that we know and from MCU series and other places that we might get a quote-unquote

Dark Avengers. Oh. I'm not going to rule it out. It's not going to be, you know, bull's eye as your new hot guy and Dockin is your new Wolverine and stuff like that, but I think there's a possible, I could see

them setting something up that that might work for that. Yeah, I could see Scarlet Witch back too. I agree with Oh yeah, Scarlet Witch and hopefully return of the vision. Yep. Yeah, the vision would be cool. White vision would be cool. I like that. White vision. Albino vision looking dude. It's cool.

And and the, and the, and Thundercats. Can we get the Thundercats in there, get them going? Undercats or Thunderbolts? oh why who are the thunderbolts oh someone wrote thunderbolts i said thunderbolts outside of this is a thunderbolts is a marvel team that is a bunch of supervillains who are posing as heroes oh and it's like the old spider man uh enemy uh beetle yeah the beetle and um who else is in there

it's like dark star set just happened to say Seth just happened to use a thunder word right when I did and it made us all confused Maybe we get Thundar the Barbarian. Oh, all right. All the thunders. Oh, Red Hulk. Right, getting a Thunderbolt Ross. Yeah, but he never fought for the good side, did he?

Wasn't he always bad? He kind of was always bad, yeah. Yeah. Red Hulk was a jerk. All right. There you go. There's your other thunder reference. So, Black Widow, really good.

You know, I'd say it's compared to other movies. It's great. As it's frame, the Marvel and the MCU canon, it's a perfectly adequate MCU film. So if you're going to rate it. It does what it does what needs to do. If you're going to rate it, how many out of 10 Ryan Reynolds X-wives would you give this? Out of 10 Ryan Reynolds X-wives. Yeah.

How many? I'd give it seven and a half. Pretty good. Half a, oh, I guess Blake loudly is a current Ryan and Reynolds' wife. I'd give it seven X's and a Blake. Lively. All right. She's waiting.

I thought she was with Leonardo DiCaprio. I've not been paying attention. Blake Lively? Yeah. For some reason, those two are together. How many ex-wives does Ron Reynolds have? Does he actually have?

Well, he's got, I mean, Scarlett Johansson is one, right? Were they married or were they just? I thought they were married, no? That's why they even made the reference. Oh, yeah, they were. 2008 to 2011, yep. Yeah, that's the whole point. I knew they were together.

I just didn't realize I knew the reference, but I didn't know they were they were actually married. Yeah. It didn't work out. She moved on to Colin Jost. Oh, Colin Jost. I don't know who that is. He's one of the weekend update.

He's an S&L performer. Oh, the guy that looks 12. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The guy that looks 12, exactly. The guy that looks like a 12-year-old frat boy. Yeah. Yeah, they did. And they got married, right?

They're married. They got married and she is with child, I believe. Yeah. Put the wiener to the meaner. All right. I don't know what that means. I don't know what that means. What? I don't know. I don't know. It just came out. It just like came out and then now I can't pull it back in. So there you go. Was Randall's with Sandra Bullock for a while? Looks like he was. Yeah, for a little while around that movie they made where they were naked. The proposal. Proposal, yeah. They had to hug naked and hide themselves from like. Hug naked. From one of the golden girls or something. I don't remember.

remember anything about that movie. I don't think I saw it. Wasn't it? Betty White was in that and they were naked and she had to witness something and I can't remember. I don't know. I don't know. My wife loves that movie. All right. Well, good for them. Good for them.

Let's move on to this real quick. So I just want to give a quick shout out to listeners, Mark and Jen. I got a, this is somebody that we've talked with and about for one of our therapy Thursdays talking about businesses and dealing with pandemic changes that made it really hard to keep things afloat and all of that well to add insult to injury they recently also had to evacuate due to uh i believe it was that tropical storm or was it a fire i'm losing oh wow i'm losing track of my natural disasters now but it depends on if they're on the west coast or on the east coast yeah and my brain won't work right now because i can't remember but um mark and jen were thinking about you and we hope you guys are okay and it's no fun you guys shouldn't have to deal with it by redding california who had the store had the

oh yeah you're right that's where it is yep yes so they're they're dealing with the fire they're evacuating because of the fire yeah and i have not heard if they're back yet but uh it's about a well not a week about a week ago that i got this message and i wanted to make sure to mention it so anyway mark and jen hope you guys are good and safe and that all is well that you didn't lose anything that it was temporary all the good things all right we're choking on your fire now california thanks a lot by the way you in color or uh oregon just pumping it down into the mountains. Oh, we've got it too.

We've got, like you look outside and there's just a haze. It's so bad. I could barely sleep last night. My throat hurt. Dogs are coughing. Like literally, I have coughing dogs. Yeah.

They say if you're asthmatic or over 80 or whatever, don't go outside. It's one of those kind of things. It's so bad. And none of them are for our fire. We have like one fire down in central Utah that's like nothing. It's like contained, no big deal. Everyone else around us is literally just. a blaze and all of that smoke is getting exported straight to our valley and it's just sitting here

and then somebody I guess is getting to you it's the worst it's the worst but I guess I should feel worse for those who maybe have things burned down but yes yeah we have a little bit of smoke to deal with they've got it a lot worse they have it a little bit worse all right let's do some quick news stories here we got a couple we can get in today and it starts by me playing a thing hold on where is it here we go nope that's not it all right It's the morning news brought to you by. Brought to you by. I'm making it official.

The mini TMS meetup in Los Angeles, specifically in Orange County, is going to be August 10th at 7 p.m. at Trader Sam's in downtown Disney. That's the tiki place that you get to by going over to the Disneyland Hotel, but you don't have to pay to get in there. Randy and I were talking about it. There's a place where we can all hang out and drive. drink, teaky drinks with rum. Yeah. And the difference is I could just walk to my hotel, so, uh, so don't overdo it, folks. Yeah.

Uh, 7 p.m. August 10th at Trader Sam's in downtown Disney. Uh, believe Randy and Sam are going to be there, maybe even will. Um, maybe able, I haven't talked to Tom Merritt yet, but, um, he's not too far. He might. He's not too far. I know sometimes he makes the drive up for, uh, for BlizzCon. So who knows? Maybe it's like a seven hour drive, though, right?

It's like six, seven hours. Is it really that long from? I think so. L.A.? Maybe six. Am I wrong about that, chat? I might be wrong. I think you might be wrong.

But I don't know. I mean, with traffic, it's, you know, it's like a, it's should only be like a, an hour drive from L.A. to Orange County. But it's, when traffic is up, it's, yeah. It's like, it's five miles, but it takes seven hours. Yeah, for some reason, I just have this memory in my head of, um, of, her or sorry Veronica and Tom driving together to and and saying they would never do it again because it was so long but I but I don't know what that means I don't remember I don't remember what was going on what um uh what part of LA is he in uh he is in uh forgot the name of the suburby thing uh Pasadena is he is he kind of northwest almost to Ventura county kind of area or sure maybe maybe Ventura okay me I don't remember oh Santa Monica

Is it Santa Monica? Maybe I just don't remember But yeah Well he'd be great if you guys he loves him He loves a good meetup that Tom Merritt He enjoys it It would be nice to finally You know

See him after two and a half years Of not seeing Tom Trying to think the last time I physically saw Tom May have been a Blizcon Was it? Yeah Trying to think 2018's yeah

Weird Yeah Yeah it's only it's 52 miles as the crow flies an hour or four minutes but oh that's nothing the 405 is what you're dealing oh you know what it was because veronica lives in san francisco so her she had to go from san francisco to tom's and then they went the rest of the way it was her saying yeah that's that's seven hours or six hours that's your seven hours yep okay never mind i get it yep oh yeah no we saw tom in 2019 in Vegas that's true forgot about that oh of course 2019 yeah yeah 2019 was last year

Still like two years ago, two years plus. Yep. Oh, hell's bells. All right. Here's your story. Ooh, there's a new study out. All right, a new study. Yep.

They've studied conspiracy theory believers. Conspiracy theorists, you might call them. And they say that they have shown in this study, they have less, they have developed less developed critical thinking abilities. That feels like Captain Obvious arranged this. little bit. A little bit. Dr. Obvious and his team of crack experts, new research published by the Applied Cognitive Psychology, that's an industry publication, provides evidence that critical thinking skills are negatively related to belief in a conspiracy theory. In other words,

the study suggests that people with greater thinking, critical thinking skills, rather, are less likely to believe that, for example, terrorist attacks are being covertly directed by a country's own government or that mind-controlling technology is secretly being used to control the population and so forth. We probably just gave a couple of wackadoos, a couple ideas, and that's kind of a bummer. Probably, yes, exactly. Regularly people, sorry, different private and public actors provide homemade tools such as critical thinking skills training programs that are supposed to be effective way of reducing the spread of conspiracy theory, says the study author Anthony Latian, Lantian, an associate professor of psychology. What does that evolve into on

Pokemon Go. Allantian? It's full, I don't know, Aquaman, I guess at the end. Oh, an Atlantean. I get you. I see what you go to there. Do you see what I did? Yeah. I picked up what you're putting down. Saw that coming up the road. Let's see.

Two studies, 338 undergraduate students completed a French version of the NSWIR Critical Thinking essay test, which assessed their ability to understand an argument and formulate a written response to it. They also completed a questionnaire that addressed the general tendency to believe in conspiracy theories. In addition, the participants were also asked if they thought that a relationship between

a belief and conspiracy theories were critical, sorry, between belief and conspiracy theories and critical thinking ability. Anyway, the upshot of it was, if you were already conspiratorial, you test it out as having crappy critical thinking skills. Huh. So, yeah, that makes sense. So, yeah, it makes, I mean, that to me make perfect sense, but if you needed some, you know, actual, not that, not that conspiracy theorist trust studies. Not that this will fix anybody. Not that anyone will hear this and go, oh, is that why I think the earth's flat? You know what? I changed my mind. This, this study has going to, no, this study just compounds their belief that everyone's out to get them. Oh, my God. I want to take the NSWIR critical thinking test. I'm looking at it right now. I found it online.

Ooh, do it. By the way, an acceptable. massive use of Palatino font. I swear you and I are the only people in this planet who see this stuff. And I see it too. When you take typography courses

in college, you're stuck with it. You can't avoid it. Like the other day, I was trying to find a font. All it did was make me feel like the nightmare years of college. It was just so dumb. I hate it. But yes, Palantino. Don't overuse it as the point. So much palatino. So the directions on this. Read the

letter to the editor of the Mooreberg newspaper. Consider it paragraph by paragraph and as a total argument. Then write a letter to the editor in response to this one. For each paragraph in the letter you're about to read, write a paragraph in reply telling whether you believe the thinking good or bad. Also writing closing paragraph about the total argument, defend your judgments with reasons. This is great. So like write a nine paragraph essay for 30 minutes. Yep. Sounds like homework. Oh, yes, total time, 40 minutes. Spend 10 minutes reading the letter thinking about it, then write for not more than 30 minutes. Oh, my God, it kind of.

You should do it. Why not? I already know you. Overnight parking. You want to hear the, you want to hear the Borberg letter? Let's hear it. I'll just give you the first part. Dear editor, overnight parking on all streets in Moorburg should be eliminated.

To achieve this goal, parking should be prohibited from 2 a.m. to 6 a.m. There are a number of. reasons why any intelligence citizens should agree. Number one, for one thing to park overnight is to have a garage in the streets. Now, it is illegal for anyone to have a garage in the city streets.

Clearly then, it should be against the law to park overnight in the streets. So you've got to come up with a response for that one. Wow, wow. Why parking overnight is to have a garage in the streets. I wonder how See, they did this with undergrads and graduate students, not 72-year-old Fox News addicts.

So I don't know how this, I don't know how this would actually work. You know, like, what would be the difference? They're all too fresh. I don't know. It feels pretty easy to argue this first point of like, if you're parking in the street, it's like having a garage in the street. And we can't legally have a garage in the street. So therefore, ergo.

It should be a lot illegal to park in the streets. That's hilarious. Yes. My argument is, I keep tools in my garage, but I can't keep them on the streets. So, therefore, it is not a garage in the streets. It is not a locked, enclosed system like a garage is. Exactly. Oh, I love it.

That's fun. All right. Well, think about it. Maybe you'll want to take that test. Maybe I'll take that test. I got nobody to grade it. So, oh, well. Oh, tough.

That's going to do it for today's news. I'll save this giant turd story for tomorrow because I got a great giant turd story. Giant turd story Yeah, it's good stuff But instead we're going to take a break Come back in a minute With Justin Robert Young And a guest

So that's coming up shortly In the meantime song Famed musician Amy Mann Oh wow I wasn't even aware of who the mystery guest is But now No? No, not her, okay

Are you going to play an Amy Mann song Or who is this? No, I'm not I just Just was trying to think of somebody Random that Justin can bring along I am going to go to Scotland for this one. And a band that you've probably heard of called We Were Promised Jet Packs. I love that band name. Truth. They have a brand new album called Enjoy the

View, which comes out September 10th via Big Scary Monsters Records. They have a brand new single to tease the album, and you're going to hear it right now. Here are We Were Promised Jet Packs and the brand new song, Fat Chance. It doesn't matter when you started, it doesn't matter when you started. It only matters where you're going. It only matters where you don't belong. I'll calculate the odds they aren't in my favour.

So I'll carry on like this and I can make amends later. But all the lights have changed from red to green. I'm starting to regret missed opportunities I thought I had a fat chance maybe one in millions

did a complete one it take now I'm going the right way it doesn't matter where you started It doesn't matter where you've come from It doesn't matter that we're strangers It doesn't matter if we're best friends I'll calculate the odds They aren't in my favor

So I'll carry on like this And I can make a mince later But all the lights have changed From red to green I'm starting to regret I thought I had a fat chance And maybe one in millions Did I complete one a ten?

Now I'm going that right way I thought I had a flat chance I maybe won in millions Did I complete one 18 Now I'm going there right way you know Oh Oh

Oh Oh I'm Oh I'm Oh Oh Oh

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When you use our code TMS at checkout, just pay $5 shipping. That's bluechew.com promo code TMS to receive your very first month free. And we thank Blue Chew for helping us out today. Homo sapiens, let them die, save the humans. My wallpaper is about 30 years old, and that's the way it is. As Shakespeare said, shit happens. This is the morning stream.

We're back, everybody. Welcome back to the program. Brian, that song again was. That song again, fat chance by the band. We were promised jet packs from their upcoming album. Enjoy the View coming out September of this year. Lovely. I'm going to answer a question while jury's answer.

I'm answering. I'm answer a question that has come up. This is the shirt I'm wearing is a Hawaiian shirt featuring a bunch of Bob Ross's surfing on paint pallets. And this was a gift from the lovely Cleo. You know what it reminds me of? It reminds me of one of those AI generated images where you feed it information like it. It kind of looks like it, doesn't it? Like Bob Ross and a beach and then it comes up with this. Right, exactly.

That's pretty awesome. That's pretty awesome. Yeah, why not? All right. Neural network. Well, thanks for hanging in there, everybody. We're back, and now this. These are their stories.

Oh, I'm terrible with names. I am, too, but not today. Today we have Justin Robert Young with us, and he has a very special guest in his studio today. Mr. Andrew Heaton. How are you both doing? Oh, my good God, Scott, it's been good. Heaton came in late last night, so we're having a good time. doing politics stuff yeah i am the dream i i got to hang out with justin and and talk about old

louisiana elections and now i'm hanging out with you so life that's fantastic i've uh i had the opportunity to be on andrews show once i really enjoyed it had a great time on there and i just spent an hour and a half talking about fury road it was great yeah it's only a half hour shorter than an average morning stream yeah exactly that was nuts by the way uh how do you feel about all that wood paneling, does it make you uncomfortable? Like, how does it feel to be standing in all that? Is it, uh, what's it like to live stream from 1976? I mean, I, I'm basically like if somebody shook a Norman Rockwell painting until a game show host fell out. I feel very at home with this wood paneling 1970s decor behind me. I'm back in my native environment. I can totally see that.

Andrew Heaton in real life, uh, had a very busy travel day yesterday and then just came into my house looking like a 1960s father who just got fired for alcoholism. Like it was just like a very rumpled collar and a distressed face. But we were like the family dog that cheered him up immediately. It was delightful. That's fantastic. Well, it's good to have you here. I know that you're on a bit of a tour of sorts.

Not really. But we're going to talk a bit about it today about a new book that you're putting out called Los Angeles's hideous poems about an ugly city. Do you have to like get out of town to like to like even say the name? for fear of someone's going to smack upside the head for hating on your hometown or what? How does this? I am so curious to see what's going to happen when I go back to Los Angeles to pitch Los Angeles is hideous to the locals. I think most people are going to be on my side because I think most people are in Los Angeles for the business

and not for the grandeur of the parking lots, strip balls, and endless Adobe. So I think people will be with me. Nobody in L.A. likes L.A. The people that grew up in L.A. don't like L.A. Like, if you were like, the Dodgers are awful, you might get stabbed. Right. If you were to talk bad about the industry, then maybe people wouldn't call you back. But the city?

Everybody thinks it sucks. The only person who loves L.A. is Randy Newman. Yeah. Oh, I didn't realize. I think I can think Randy Newman. Yeah. Go to punch you on the face. Swinging my fist.

We should have warned you Brian does a killer Randy Newman impression. Well, it's cool to have you here. So, I mean, I assume a lot of things about this book. But why don't you tell me what it's actually about? Because it sounds like a good time. Like, I'm into poetry and I'm into self-referential, I don't know, make fun of stuff that we know should be made fun of kind of stuff. And is that what I'm going to get here? Before we get there, because I'm sure you're going to give this speech that you were just about to give on every other show.

that you're about to be. The whole press junket. The DMS audience, you'd take us into the window of despair and horror that was Andrew Heaton alone in an apartment in Los Angeles that surely sent you into the mad, the shining-esque madness that produced this book. That's, you know what, for you and for your audience, I'm going to drop the canned speech I was going to do. And I'm going to tell you how it really was. So, yes, just as completely correct.

I moved to Los Angeles in January of last year for the networking. I'm going to repeat that. I moved to Los Angeles, one of the most expensive and ugly cities ever devised by man. To meet people to further my career. Cut to the month of March.

I am in a bathtub eating a bowl of Oreos with a ladle because I'm too depressed to do my own dishes and finally decide I am going to flee this horrible place When there's not any networking opportunities, there's no reason to be here at all. It's absolutely disgusting. And I had at that moment, I had a fork. I could either descend into depression and madness, or I could convert that anger at the sheer aesthetic umbrage of Los Angeles into the book that we'll talk about here in a minute.

And from there become the National Poet Laureate, which I believe is the next thing. Wow, those are, that's amazing. So for a second there, I was going to ask you why you were using a ladle, you had a fork, but now I understand the decision point. Are you kidding? Come on, when he's got a ladle? Right. Yeah, there's so many more Oreos. You're clearly, that's true. That's true.

I take the bath with a bull full of Oreos and you don't think you're eating like cereal because you can't be bothered to do anything else. A ladle is real sloppy. You don't want to use a fork. You want to get that good. You only get one for one Oreo at a time if you're using a fork. That's a good point. Right. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I don't have, I'm a busy man. I need to be a higher sleepable.

places to be things to do. He just popped six or seven of them in there at a time and goes through up like a horse with cudd. Nice. So I got this, we have the opposite problem here. Nobody's staying in L.A. They're all moving to my neighborhood. For real, I got like L.A. people

for miles all of a sudden all around me and they all moved here for lower house prices, but they're also willing to pay. Don't worry. The UC University system just conducted a poll that said that nobody's moving from California. So you're mistaken.

Okay. So I didn't move from California. Nobody in your neighborhood is new from California. Everybody in Texas, Miami, and Utah are totally fine with the normal number of Californians that are coming in. Correct the record fake news. When I fled in the dead of light, a dead of night like a reverse okey backing up out of the town with a mattress on my car on a jalopy to go to greener pastures, I definitely could not find a U-Haul in order to. to, like, in order to take my stuff, I literally had to scuttle all my furniture fleeing L.A. Like, only the things that could get in my Ford escape, because all the U-Hauls were gone.

And by the way, with the commitment to accuracy, Keaton did the full look for me, Ma, Tom Joad monologue in reverse as he drove out of California. Yeah, well, I had 24 hours to kill. So I learned how to do it. It was kind of dangerous with a book of the dashboard, but I made it work. All right. Well, nice. Well, let's talk about the book. So tell, give me, do we have examples?

You want to tell us, like, what's in? Did you give us a reading? Yeah, wait. So do you have a go-to... It just so happens. I've got a copy of Los Angeles' Hidious poems about an ugly city with me. What are the odds? I know, right?

I always throw one. You all were talking... It's fire season in California, right? Weren't you talking? Our valley is covered in your smoke currently. Okay, so I have a poem called Fire Season. May I read it to you? It's very quick, everybody that's anti-poetray.

Yeah, this is perfect. Let's do it. Right. So some of the other poems in here, by the way, Scott, where are you located? I'm in Salt Lake's address in the past. You always refuse to give it to me. Well, you know, I try to be careful. But no, I'm in Salt Lake City, Utah. We're just south of the city, southeast of the city or west of the city. Okay, yeah. Okay, so this is fire season by me, Andrew Heaton. Do you want, hold on, does this, is this appropriate? Let me play this if this helps. This one's fine.

A little bit of this. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. Go for it. Roll that music. All right, you're good. I don't know if you can hear it. You may not be able to. Here it is.

All right, here you go. Your turn. Fire season. The horizon is burning oatmeal. Gasping, ochre-welken, in-flame bowels of dying sky gods. The sun is an orange smudge. shouting against the anguished screams of dying trees, because California is on fire.

Again, in fact, seasonally. The way other states have autumn, or when the peach blossoms bloom, except here, they explode. A thin layer of soot settles on your 2004 Ford Taurus, like the ashes of immolated angels or the smoking residue of dreams. Wow. Wow.

There we go. There we go. L.A. is ugly.com, by the way, is where you need to go to get it. It's in e-book and paperback. I'd recommend the coffee table book just to troll anybody visiting you from California or to show that you're self-effacing if you live in California. But L.A.usugly.com, you can get the coffee table book worthy e-book.

This seems great. I know enough people, well, enough people who have just moved here, fake news. I wrote this to make myself feel better because I left and I was like this play. It was like I was like, imagine like a young, like a really hot young ballerina fleeing a loveless marriage with a very rich man. And I'm like, should I be doing this? All the money's back there. Should I be? No, no, no, no. It's a good call. Leave the old carbuncle of a human being with his claims to riches behind you. So the book made me feel better. If you've got anybody that moved out of L.A., it'll definitely make them feel better.

Exactly. There for the escapee of a nickel or petroleum oligarch, a blockmark with both history and dead skin. Wow. That's fantastic. Well, I'm going to grab a copy. Everyone out there, if that sounds interesting to you, whether you are an L.A. native expat or otherwise, maybe you'll want to consider that as well. You're also there for, you know, hanging out and doing political stuff. Justin, is there anything going on right now that anyone cares about that we? should talk about or no. Do we got anything? Well, I mean, I don't know. Really, the two big things that are happening is we kind of high-tailed it out of Afghanistan, which had weirdly been a bipartisan thing. Trump was very much, let's get out of Afghanistan. And then Biden made a promise to get out of Afghanistan. The deadline was that he had said Biden did September 11th. And we just kind of a ski daddled out a little bit early. And

so now I think there's there's a question of exactly how Harry gets there, whether or not the Republicans are going to try to hang carnage or a Taliban takeover on Biden. But if anything, it makes Fox News a lot

like it was in 2004. There's just a lot of Republicans very sternly wearing their fists that the feckless, awful, spineless Democrats aren't putting more troops in harm's way. And they're absolutely correct. As we all know, the British Empire,

which is the greatest empire in the history of mankind, which is beloved by all former remnants of it, it just takes the mere 300 years to subdue a population. We're pulling out after 20. It's insane. We've got 280 more years to go in order to pacify the population. It's a really good point. I hadn't really considered it that way.

Yeah. Yeah, I wondered how this might get spun, just because, you know, I mean, maybe I didn't really wonder because I figured it would, they'd figure out a way to have a problem with it. But it does seem like a bipartisan move. And what do you do when that happens? What do you do when the

last administration was like, yeah, we're getting out. This is a forever war. We don't do those anymore. We're getting out. And everyone's like, yeah, we're getting out. And then now the Democratic administration's saying, yeah, we're getting them out. So what are the last guys do go? Yeah. But

that's the thing is you got to remember that a lot of Republicans hated the last president, too. And so now they have another thing that they couldn't say before that they can say now because, you know, they can take it out on a Democrat. I don't think that there's going to be a lot of the America First people. Like, I don't think Matt Gates is going to be out there saying like, yeah, put more people back in Afghanistan, finish what we started. But I do think like Adam Kinsinger, maybe some of the older Republicans that are in the Senate,

You might see Mitch McConnell get a little bit more frisky than he would have with Trump. But then again, it's also telling that it didn't happen with Trump, meaning that there was opposition enough within his own organization to not do it or the Pentagon in general. There's also a really good trick you can use. I assume Scott and Brian that you'll both eventually become president, maybe at the same time. Maybe. And it happens. The trick that your party will use to support whatever you do is,

when you bomb a country or you invade a country, that was a tough call. That was a presidential decision that involves strength and it involved confrontation and it's very presidential. Now, conversely, when you pull out of a country or you refrain from bombing a country, that was restraint. That was you exercising restraint because you deep down love peace. And you can do either one of those at any given time you want. It doesn't matter. There doesn't need to be a rubric or ideology in place. Just do whatever your party is and remember your party's right.

Yeah. Yeah, that sounds right. I'm going to remember that when we get in, Brian. You're going to, I can't decide. We haven't decided who's going to be the VP. We're actually going to, we're going to see if we can make it so that it's co-presidents, as opposed to a nice president and a regular. Like every, like you have a month and then he has a month. That seems like more often. You guys should go on and off like line changes in hockey. In fact, you should have to jump the resolute desk whenever you're coming out as president. I love that idea. you both do a word, and you just operate as a unit.

Bye. Bye. All right. I like this idea. And also, hey, look, Dick Cheney and Bush basically did that.

We can do it, Brian. Just make it more official. Yeah. You got this. Perfect. Well, this has been an amazing time to talk to you guys.

I freaking love this set, Justin. I can't get enough of it. And also, to remind folks. This is my normal Twitch set. So everybody can follow me at Twitch. com slash Justin R.

It's very good. outside of this book Los Angeles is hideous poems about an ugly city which I put an Amazon link into the chat room and would tell find folks at home just search for it on Amazon you'll find it give us that site again that you've got kind of a shortcut to there Andrew and we'll make sure people get there

LA is ugly.com it's an amazing URL I just want to get thrown off trying to spell hideous or Los Angeles so I tell the shortest most concise LA is ugly LA is ugly dot com and then if you want more Heaton you can download the

episode that comes out tomorrow of politics, politics, politics, where I will also talk about one of the most interesting governor's races in modern history. 1991, the recently deceased, he died Monday yesterday.

Edwin Edwards ran against David Duke for the governorship of Louisiana, how it happened, and why it was an extraordinarily tense election I will go through in graphic detail on

PX3 tomorrow. Well, that sounds great. I do look forward to the headline eventually, which is David Duke dies. Anyway, hey, have a fantastic week. You guys are awesome. Stay safe and we'll see you next time. See you guys. Oh, damn it. Here. The jury will now retire. Me meant to play that on air while they were there. And Andrew Heaton. Yeah, and Andrew Heaton. It was nice to see Andrew. I enjoyed being on his show. You know what's funny about him, though? He's not, he's like a dude in his 30s. Right. But when I heard his voice for the first time, Yeah. I thought I was talking to, I don't know who, I don't even know what to picture.

Right, like a seasoned announcer kind of guy. Yeah, like he really fits it. And I thought, oh, what do you? Like 57, you know, been in this industry forever or whatever. No, he's just a young guy with a. Time to meet your Colorado Avalanche. Yeah. All right.

Hey, speaking of the Avalanche, they're out, right? Where are we now? We're in the playoffs. What's happening? No, the games are done. The Tampa Bay Lightning. Oops. So, yes, actually, I will confirm that avalanche are done.

I just, in case it wasn't obvious, I've had a hard time keeping up with hockey this here. So there's that. All right, we have a Monday morning Tuesday mashup today because there was no show yesterday. And as a result, we had to push it a day. And we have this new mashup. Now, this is post-surgery, getting back on the horse TMS Jamie mashup, man. putting together a fresh new hot mix, Brian.

And this one's called a scent of a man, okay? Oh, God, okay. Yep. Is it spelled out a scent as in the rise or a... It's the stink of a man. It's like a stink, a smell. A period, or a space scent of a man. Right.

It's the kind of thing you might say, uh-huh, too, except it's not a lady. All right, here we go. I'm going to play it. Enjoy. Words you never want to hear your mother say, what is Bukaki? The nut part is emphasized. That's a poor order We put those in, those two

But anyway Is an otter a euphemism for something? We do know a beaver is a... Yeah, it's a Vajur-Jur-Jur, right? I'm bleeding. I don't know why I'm bleeding. Hold on. This Indian monk could creep up your butthole and cause havoc. Which is the last place you want it.

That's where it goes, though, is your butthole. That's what I understand. Right up the butthole. Yeah. A skinny hairy guy is an otter? Oh, is it? Is it? So not a twink, but a hairy twink.

Harry twink. If I was going to be a detective, by the way, that would be my detective. Yeah, I mean, Harry Twink. The adventures of Harry Twink. My best friend wants me to set packs. My wife and I had a bad incident last night involving a pillow and salad. What would you say when I say that? Oh, no.

Are you saying that Kim tossed your salad? Maybe you get one of those wifu weirdo things from Japan, you know, with the... You wake up kicking the wifu. Yeah, kicking the wifu. when you have one of those do people come over and say hey what's your wifu password oh nice oh my zipper's down though oh what how about birth of venus let's just get that one yeah or david's penis just kidding what that one's called the birth of venus or david's penis one of the two what am i thinking

of oh the statue of david is what i'm thinking of yeah or he's got the little uh get the little leaf or whatever cover in his ding dong or does he have anything no he has nothing what am i thinking of you're thinking of the touching god's finger thing where adam's got the Oh, yeah, right, the birth of man. And it might even be a weaner, not the birth of man, the something of man, the Sistine Chapel, the tiny shrunken penis of man. The tiny fig leaf of man. A scent?

A scent of man? Is that right? Oh, the creation of Adam is what it's called. Oh, the creation of Adam. Where'd you get a scent from? This dude is said to have sneaked into the morgue and had an exchange with the attendants who asked him to register his details before he was allowed to see anybody's. Wait, you can just walk in there and go, my name's Frank Perry White.

I'm here for the viewing. Oh, of who? Well, who's the freshest? Yeah, give me five bridal supremes and Bob Blas Zero. I'm trying to watch my weight. Do you hear that there's a kitten that was born last week without an anus, and they had to build one for? What did they give it?

They give it the new anus. They created a, they gave that kitten an anus. Wow. Oh, geez. They installed a little aftermarket anus. Foul-smelling, greasy stool that tends to fly. float this tastes like shit an elderly zoo penguin with arthritis gets shoes to provide relief oh i love a kitten's got an anus and a penguin gets shoes oh i know my wife loves them uh oh what are they

called though lobsters no the fleshy little um it's a vegetable it's like a like from one of those purple like from the penis fruit uh sorry the penis fruit what do you call it the emoji uh what's that called? Oh, Arichokes. Don't help him. This is fun. Arachokes. The penis emoji, the penis emoji. Yeah, artichokes. My wife loves those. She needs a whole bottle of them. Artichokes aren't the penis emoji? Aren't they? Aren't they from the penis? I thought it was the eggplant was the penis. Oh, you're right. It looked like little oysters or vaginas or something. Oysters or vaginas. Why not? Why not? Yeah, why not either? Yeah. Why not either one of those? Sure. One of the two. Yeah.

I could really use to look at a boob. Right now. I sure could use a boobie. If they ever did a remake of scent of a woman, but called it scent of man and replaced all the characters that were male to female and all the females to male, who would you put in the role of Al Pacino character? Jane Lynch. You didn't even hesitate. No, that's exactly why. That's pretty good. If I was a half the woman I used to be, I'd take a flame throw into this place. Don't even change.

Just have them talk like they normally do? No, you just keep everything. Right. You just keep the... Oh, that's good. It was a long one, but we knew it'd be long because he's back. He's back. He's back. He's better than ever. Back again. Anyway, well done, Jamie, as always. That's good stuff. And we look forward to more fine content from Jamie as time goes on.

Hey, can I give you a This Just In? Yeah, go. This Just In, big thanks to TV Zagon, Emmy nominations are in, and topping the last list the Mandalorian with 24 nominations followed by Wanda Vision with 23 nominations are you kidding me I am not kidding you that seems nuts to me I mean I love those shows but I really yeah outstanding drama series uh the boys Bridgeton the crown handmaid's tale lovecraft country uh mandolarian pose and this is us and then you go over to uh outstanding comedy series uh Blackish, Cobra Kai.

Cobra Kai. Emily and Paris, hacks, which I recommend told last week. The flight attendant, the Kamiski method, Penn 15, and Ted Lassow. Wow. Oh, I guess that Wanda Vision was not named as an outstanding comedy series. Please tell me where of East Towns on here.

Somewhere. Yes, I just said that in the drama series. Oh, you did. Okay, I missed it. Oh, no, I didn't. I take that back. She's got to be in here, right? Oh, yeah, it's not in there. Maybe, oh, yeah, Julianne Nicholson is nominated for supporting actress from Marevistown, supporting.

Oh, these are limited series, that's why. Oh, okay. Outstanding lead actress, Kate Winslet. Oh, there it is. Outstanding limited or anthology series. Yeah, there it is. Oh, that's where Wanda Vision is as well. It's limited or anthology series.

Okay. Wow. I'm on the little. So that's a, that's a limited or anthology series. I'm a little shocked by the sweep of the Disney Plus shows. not sweet, but, you know, the fact that they have that many nominations. I guess there's probably some, well, this doesn't even include, like, special effects or anything. This is just straight up acting and performance.

No, and you look at the two, like, the outstanding drama and outstanding comedy series, the only network shows are This Is Us and Blackish. Everything else is cable or streaming. Wow. Mostly streaming. Disney Plus, HBO, Hulu, and Netflix. Yeah, yeah. And half the stuff.

I that is even TV I ended up watching on streaming anyway some of these right right like RuPaul's drag race no one watches that on VH1 they watch it on streaming right yep um let's see that's interesting wow all right well there you have it uh I guess the nerds of one again another another small victory for the nerds yep the nerds just keep on racking up the points all right that's going to do it for today's show big thanks to everybody I don't know why I'm chewing gum, taking that out. For supporting us over at patreon.com slash TMS without it, we don't exist. So if you'd like us to exist, continue to do that support.

And we love everyone who does. I keep saying, I'm going to mention some names and I forgot this time. So I'll do it tomorrow. But don't worry, there will be a show tomorrow. Yeah, that's right. Recommendals. Tom will be here. Nicole's out, but Brian and I will do recommendals.

Plenty to do for tomorrow's show. So stick around for that. Also, I did some updates to the streaming schedule, which includes TMS episodes. but also other stuff going on around the network. So if you'd like to catch up on that, you can find that entire schedule over at frogpants.com slash streaming. And it's a calendar thing.

So you can actually add some of those events to your own calendar. If anything changes, it's shown in real time. It's just, it's an embedded Google calendar. It's nothing fancy. Look at that. Yeah. But it tells you when everything is. So if you're like, when's film sack air and when's the other thing happening?

It's all right there. Do you have any questions? Let me know. There was supposed to. Oh, you're doing a film. sec, watch along. Look at you. So how that's going to work is, I can't show it or have any audio

obviously. Okay. Because Yeah, of course. I get in trouble. Reasons, yeah. So instead it's just going to be, I'm going to say whoever wants to show up at that, here's what we'll do. You all show up and if you have wherever we're watching our movie, Netflix, whatever, then we all

queue up at the same time and then we all hit play roughly the same time. Obviously there's a delay for me, but, you know, To them, it won't be, because they'll start it when I say go, and that just means we're pretty well synced up. And then I'm just going to watch it and do all my clips. Oh, you know, that's not going to work great because I've got to stop it and do clips every once in a while, which will screw people up. I don't know.

I haven't really thought this through yet, but, but yeah, fun times coming up on the schedule. So go check it out. All right. To tune in for that before Coverville. Yeah, it could be fun. It sounds really. Could be fun. We'll see, though.

I forgot about the clips thing. Anyway, hey, frogpans.com slash TMS is our website. please keep your emails flowing in the morning stream at gmail.com that's going to do it for us hey brian why don't we play a little exit song if you got one this one uh going out to gregg for

Walkman hey thank you thank for request Greg for Walkman no thank Greg for request that's the that's the way to work it out here you go uh hey there Ripley and Hicks July 11th marks my 54th turn on this little rock holy cow happy birthday to you well done this is a Sunday could you play a request

any available day after. I would love to hear a cover of Gigantic from my favorite Boston band The Pixies or any other song by The Pixies. This show brings so much joy in laughter to my days. Can't wait till we all meet again in Vegas, baby. Love you guys in the Tadpool, too.

Greg for Walkman. Greg's the best. We love Greg. Totally agree. No problem. This is a great one came out on a tribute to the Pixies from 2007. And that's the only reason

there isn't a really cool Rube Goldberg inspired video for it because this is by Okay Go. From the Dig for Fire tribute, here is Okay Go and their cover of Gigantic. Excellent. We'll see you guys tomorrow. Happy birthday, Mom.

And this I know, his teeth is white as snow, what a gas it was to see him. Walker every day into a shady place. With her lips, she said, she said, Hey, Paul. Paul and Paul let's have a ball Hey Paul And Paul Hey Paul Let's have a ball

Gigantic gigantic gigantic I'll be below gigantic gigantic gigantic gigantic

gigantic Love legs they are Would a big black mess Would a hunk of love You'd walk her every day Into a shady place Like a dark

What I want him Hey Paul, And Paul, and Paul, let's have a bow Hey Paul, and Paul And Paul, let's have a ball Gigantic, gigantic, gigantic, a bee-below. Gigantic, gigantic, gigantic, a baby-below. Thank you, love, I think you love, I'm going to love, I'm going to love, I'm going to love, I'm going to love,

I think of it. You know what I'm going to be able to be. This show is part of the FrogPants Network. FrogPants Network. Get more shows like this at frogpants.com. That'sh. This is Hannah Burner from Gigli Squad. O-Pill is the first over-the-counter daily birth control pill available in the U.S.

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