The Morning Stream - TMS 2164: $5,000 Per Moron

Episode Date: August 23, 2021

Daney Curry. Taking a gulp of Skin Air. Smelled Like Duck Hell. In Heaven everything is in the Cloud. Don't go chasing heart failure. T-pops? T-pops? Not T-pops? Give me all ZEE CONDOMS! Repelled by the UnNormals. Call 976-Dial-a-Nigerian-Prince. Big Macs and Velvet sunsets. Sell it before it gets wet. Do You Have A Two Year Old Of Any Sort? Pushing him away like he was t-pops. Going to Hell for the Fiber. Major Spoilers and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wait, are you gaming on a Chromebook? Yeah, it's got a high-res 120-hertz display, plus this killer RGB keyboard, and I can access thousands of games anytime, anywhere. Stop playing. What? Get out of here. Huh?

Yeah, I want you to stop playing and get out of here so I can game on that Chromebook. Got it. Discover the Ultimate Cloud Gaming Machine, a new kind of Chromebook. Many thanks to Manly Bands for supporting the morning stream. Manly Bands helps men find wedding bands that fit their personality and their budget with unique and stylish designs. To get 25% off your manly band for limited time only and get a free silicone ring,

go to manlybans.com slash TMS. Coming up on TMS, Dana Curry. Taking a gulp of skin air. Smelled like duck hell. In heaven, everything is in the cloud. Don't go chasing heart failure. Tea pops, tea pops, not teapops. Give me all of the condoms.

Repelled by the un-normals. Call 976, dial a Nigerian prince. Big Macs and velvet sunsets. Sell it before it gets wet. You have a two-year-old of any sort? Pushing him away like he was teapops. Go on to hell for the fiber. Major spoilers and more on this episode of the morning stream.

Put your hands between your buttocks. That's nature's pocket. Fuck. You're threatening me. You're threatening me with P. This is the morning stream. Good morning, everyone. Welcome to TMS. It's the morning stream for Monday, August 23rd, 2021. I'm Scott Johnson. It's Brian. It's Brian. it, but over there. Over here, over here. Wait, look at me over here.

I'm over here. Yeah, he's over here. It's over there, everybody. That's right. Normally, Brian and I would have seen even more of each other over the weekend, but we had to postpone film sac. So if you, all of you were sitting around going, man, win a short circuit coming out. I can't wait for that. Don't worry.

It'll be next week. It's next week. One of our crew is down with some stuff. We want to give them some time, some rest. And that's how we do things on film sack. It's a member of the crew you won't hear on the show today. That's all I'm going to say. Well, we'll say.

Yeah, hint, hint. I won't name any names, but... Definitely not. I hope he's doing better. Yeah. Kind of a rough weekend, but anyway, we do what we do, and we can what we can. That doesn't make sense. It's not even sentence.

Hey. We can what we can. So it's a Monday, brand new week. The last week before a little bit of AK business happens, just a PSA next week, Monday through Wednesday. I'm gone. Brian's going to do some streaming, though, so that'll be fun. And then you leave.

the day I get home, which means I'll be doing Thursdays, probably with Kim. I'll have her sit in on that one for Thursday's episode. And then the following week, because then she can be there for therapy Thursday. And maybe she could write in a question about you to Wendy. Yeah. We can finally crack that egg and figure out what's inside, man. Oh, boy. I hadn't even thought of this.

This will be interesting. Yeah. Well, I've seen on at some point to, you know, write a letter to Wendy about me. but uh yeah we got to get our couple's counseling on so uh we'll see how it goes right and then uh the following week got some uh folks lined up for various guest uh things until brian gets back which is the 10th so we got you covered everybody just a couple of days away really technically and then you know you'll have to get used to some secondary voices for a couple of days and then brian'll be back and it will be normal again and i'll have lots of stories about probably about drinking because that

does seem to be the Irish national pastime. Every, every travel video or thing that I've looked at, by the way, make sure you, you know, load up on Guinness.

Yeah. Yeah, that's all anyone says or Murphy's, if you're in the South. If you bring up the Irish, you bring up Lucky Charms, drinking, and pots of gold, right?

And Shepherds pie. Shepherds pie, sure. Yeah. And, oh, and the druids. They're the druids, right? The druids. They used to do the, they'd go around healing,

people with tree magic or whatever. A bunch of feral druids. Good job, guys. A couple things. I went boating yesterday. Wow. I didn't expect to do this, but... A little boating. We did little boating. It was just a little, like, kayak-style boats here at the lake. And for whatever reason, I haven't done this here yet.

And I think it's because in years past, like two, three years ago, the lake stunk. It smelled like duck hell in there because ducks were pooping everywhere and it was bad. They had this huge cleanup effort. where partly because million-dollar homes were being built on the island in the middle of the lake and I think that's money does things but anyway

as a result they cleaned it up and there's filters in there now and there's all kinds of you know fresh stuff and they got I think they moved half the wildlife to another location or something

because man is what man does man fills with nature in a way that is obnoxious unnatural and it's very definition unnatural yeah probably bad in the end Anyway, who knows? But it's really nice now.

It's nice and clean. And so we took out this boat and we took van and he's two. And I thought he's going to hate this. It's just, you know, a little kid in the middle of the water. It's rocky. Like, you know, he may hate this. He may just be like, take me back or whatever. Instead, he loved this so much that you should have seen when we finally had to leave.

I'm like, it's time, but we got to go. he pitched the biggest fit I've ever seen a two-year-old pitch because he wanted to stay there forever. And all he talked about since was boats, boats, boats, boats, boats, boats, boats. What kind of boat was this? It was like a kayaking looking thing. Oh, okay, yeah. So it was you and him, like it wasn't four or five of you. For part of it, it was Kim and him, and then we would swap around and be me and him.

And then for a while it was Carter and me in our own boat. So there's two man ones, there's a single man one. And he's little enough that you can kind of fit in any of them. So it's no big deal. Right, of course. Anyway, it's really fun. And I'm just saying, if you got a two-year-old of any sort and he's under your charge, take him on a little boat. Yeah.

Because, you know, they like it. It went really well. And he was really pissed when we went home, though. He was mad. You could tell he was like holding an house. Did not want boat day to end. That's a bummer. Well, you know what?

That's great. That means that he's not afraid of water or anything like. that. Yep. I also learned a science lesson yesterday because he helped me learn it. Here's how it went. Okay. You know how people, we see somebody who's, I don't know, deformed or malformed or somebody who's got, you know, a burn victim or somebody missing an eye or whatever. The first thing our brains do is go, oh, that isn't right because it doesn't match to the pattern we have in our head of what fully formed human face is. And when you're young, that sometimes leads. You know, that's where bullies.

A lot of questions and, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, right. That sort of thing. You can, you know, you can go one of two ways. You can either have some sympathy, empathy, understanding, whatever, or you can be a total jerk about it and call somebody, you know, potato head or whatever you're going to do. Well, I think I saw the, like, primordial version of this with Van yesterday. Because when we got back from the lake, he wanted his dinosaurs. And he has a triceratops, he calls T-pops, which sounds like a rapper.

T-pops. I love it, yeah. Yo, yo, yo, yo, T-pops in the house. Yo, yo, yo. The Hock-a-Sun Night Club. Blu-Bu-Pi-Up, yep, yep. So he comes in and he's going, T-pops, T-pops, and I'm like, well, let's find it, bud, let's go find it. So we're digging around, and I find it, unfortunately, Ripley has had at the T-pops. Oh, okay.

All right. That means half of his nozzle is, or no, no, uh, uh, now he's T-Pops. Yes, D-Pops. He's diceratatops. He's Dyseratops. He's missing a horn. Or uniceratops. There you go.

You're missing a horn. One of his legs is all mangled. Just really chewed it up bad. Or maybe he has none of him. Now he's Michael Seratops. Oh, I see what you did. That's pretty good. That was good.

Mearmur-mer-ma-ma-mer. Anyway, so I hand it to him. He looks at it like this for like a whole, very long two seconds, just kind of staring at it. And then flicks it away and, like, doesn't want to go near it. Doesn't want anything to do it. And I think what that is, is this, again, this primordial sort of like, this isn't normal. I am repelled by this at first. So the job is you teach a kid, if it's with other people, you teach them to understand that this doesn't make them bad or weird or, you know, they're a little different than you, but it's okay, see.

But because it's a dinosaur. I was still covered with dog slobber. That could have been it, too. It could have been that. It was pretty gnarly. But, yeah, I was just one of these moments, you know, where I was like, oh, that's why we do this. Look at this. Here's a kid doing it right now. So we've got to make sure the first time he sees a guy with one leg, we explain it, you know?

But he doesn't just push him away. Yeah. Because you don't want him pushing him away like his T-pops. Nobody wants that. T-pops. Brian, I have an email that we both have to answer. Okay. Because I don't know what else to do with this email.

All right. Well, it's got questions, and there's only one thing you can do with questions. That's right. You can answer them or ignore them. We're going to answer them because we don't ignore things here on the morning stream. This is from Katie. I don't know who this is. I don't know that we've met this Katie,

but that's the name on the email. That's all we get. Hi, morning stream, hunger force. I love that. That's great. That's a great one. Write that one down, everybody. Very good.

Katie here, wondering if you can answer me these questions three. This is very great. I like the rhyme, too. Already really off to a good start. Yeah, I like Katie. Sounds like our kind of people. Number one, will you do the show until you die? I have no plans to stop.

doing it so maybe i don't know um certainly won't do it after well see that's wait for question three because now she says number two says what will be your cause of death um oh that's a good one i want mine to be uh in my sleep at like 80 that's what i want right exactly yes uh i want my wife to wake up to my cold spindly just you know husk of a man Man, next to her cold. Yeah, I mean, that's what we want. What will likely be the way that I die? Spontaneous slot machine falling forward and crushing me.

It would probably be, yeah. I hope not. That would be terrible. My players card, I can't get it out. Let me pull harder. No! Oh, no! I love that.

All right, so there's our causes of death. Yeah, yeah. Number three, will you continue to do the show after if heaven is real? Oh, okay. Look, if we get up there and they go, yeah, here we go, there's this afterlife business, and we've got a little studio over here, a couple of microphones. You guys, go ahead and continue on. Yeah, that seems like there's so many variables, though.

We don't know what the bandwidth is like in heaven. I mean, are they on Comcast, are they on Cox? Is it all Wi-Fi? It's like spotty Wi-Fi. It's all spotty crappy Wi-W-Fi. Like, if you're trying to get good connection while you're in heaven, do you hold your phone downwards? Yeah, you have to. You have to hold it up.

You have to hold it down. You have to hold it down. Yep, yep. And it's like a mesh network that only is, it's an intranet. There's no outside connection. Because I don't know where they're putting fiber up there. No, no fiber. Not in heaven.

It's all, everything's in the cloud. So I guess, you know, it's. Now, if you get up there and they went, they went, hi, welcome to heaven. You lived a pretty good life. You were a nice guy down there. good job welcome in yeah and you say how's the internet up here and they go uh it's okay um they have fiber in hell but up here you know we do okay we got like dsl or something what would you say would you go oh well how hot is it really down there like what's the exactly um what yeah can i get my own

office like is that uh is that possible yeah can i uh tell me you know is it is it is it really about what other what other perks uh do you know what other perks uh do you do you offer? If they don't offer anymore, I might go to hell for the fiber. I'm going to fiber town. All right. Let's, uh, hey, let's get Brian done on here. What's your take, Satan, what's your take on casual Friday?

Good with that? Is that something you guys believe in doing? You're okay. Do you have to dress, uh, or are you naked and burning all the time? How about looking at porn while you're at work? Is that all right, frowned upon? Oh, it's encouraged. You should do it every time you get a chance.

That's all you can look at on computers in hell. You good in trouble for checking your email. Ever since Weinstein got here, that's all we can do. Weinstein. You know, if there's a hell, Weinstein's thrown a party. Satan? Oh, look who it is. It's Satan himself, Brian Dunaway.

You're a man of a certain age. You remember all that Dana Carvey business and all that stuff? Oh, hi. It's gotten, Brian. Of course, I remember Danny Curry. Danny Carvey Came and say his name So forget him

Danny Curry Old Danny Curry From the S&A Carvey Is what I was trying to say I was also trying to include The Church Lady At the end of that And it just turned out to be

Dana Kirby I see what you did Did we watch the The Dana Carvey Movie Master of We talked about it We never got to it Was it called?

I never Master of Illusion Or Masters Master of disguise Master of disguise Master of the guise. Is that the one where he's a turtle?

He does the, many things. Yeah, he does. It was basically a, how can we do, make a, how can we work about a thousand different impersonations by Dana Carvey into the plot of the movie? That's right. And there was probably some potential there, but it was poorly executed. It wasn't great. Yeah.

Chat room, there's the turtle I'm thinking of. He wears a giant green suit and looks like a turt. He basically looks like Mitch McConnell from, uh, yeah. He does. He totally does. That's a good look. I will hire. All right. Anyway, hey.

Donno. That is my favorite of your impressions, by the way. I know. It's the only one that's actually pretty accurate and everyone can tell what I'm doing. Pretty good. Damn, damn accurate. We're going to play a game. Today is the morning squirm, which means nobody's calling in, but we're still going to

try to win prizes for some good people. So, Brian, will you explain what this is and how to work? I'll do my best. I mean, you know, there's only so much I can do. Welcome to the morning squirm, a back and forth trivia game where our players will match what's on topics that Cliff Clavin would have offered up at the cheers bar. Scott and Brian will take turns answering multiple choice trivia questions,

and if they get it wrong, the other player gets a point. The player with the most points after five questions wins the prize for their contestant and I'm pulling contestants for members of the tadpool that can't be here live to listen and participate. So, Scott, you're going to be playing for, Matthew Nightmare from Tempe, Arizona. And Brian, Tempe. I lived in Timpe for a short time.

You did? Good. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. Went from south to southwest to south again. Yeah, I was like, it's not hot enough here. Let's go somewhere even hotter. Sweet.

Wow. All right. Very good. Brian, you're going to be playing for Jake B from Kansas City, Missouri. Oh, Jake B. Wait, did you say Matthew's last name was Danger? What'd you say? No, nightmare is his, but that's not his last name.

His middle name is Danger. His middle name is Danger. Matthew Danger Nightmare. That's amazing. That's amazing. I want to win for this guy. Oh, I'm motivated. His avatar is a nightmare.

I don't know. Yeah. All right. So that's who you're playing for prizes today are the following games. Brutal Legend, Dead in Bermuda, and Euro Truck Simulator 2. All good. Oh, Euro Trash Simulator. Yeah.

Those are all great games. James, actually. I have played all three of those. I'm going to the dance club. Where can I find an Uber? Please direct me to the nearest CVS. I need condoms, many of them. I need all the condoms as CVS has. Give me all the condoms you have.

I need magnum size. Every one of them. Yeah, yabor. All right. Sorry, go ahead. All right. Let's give some questions here I think last time we started with Brian

So we're going to start with you, Scott, this time All right, I'm ready Let me write We'll make that a little draw a little A little T with an S and a B on it So I'll keep track your scores The most dangerous job in the United States kills about 135 people

For every 100,000 workers What is it? Is it? Logging, roofing, commercial fishing or steelworking I think it feels familiar you say logging roofing was one of them logging roofing commercial fishing

or steelworking kills 135 people per 100,000 workers well I know like when you're in the steelworkers they have such strict guidelines and rules and like safety precautions it's a dangerous job it still allows you to have a career dancing in a club at night

yeah of course yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just oil up and go home and do that. Yeah, you're kind of a maniac, you know. Maniac, you get splashed. It's awesome. You get splashed while you're in your chair. It's great. That's right.

All right. I have a story about that movie. I'll tell you a different day. Let's go with roofing because that just feels like that has less controls and people are dumb and they're up there. People start your own roofing business and just fall off roofs because they. You imagine a lot of them go, oh, ha, ha, ha, like that. kind of yeah and then they end up either dead or maimed or embarrassed one of those most roofer's last words

that's right maybe she wore sandals oh no all right all right hat so did i get it right roofing is incorrect oh damn it right you get point and and you get another you get a shot at this just for funzies logging commercial fishing or steelworking you'll get chance I know logging I think a lot of people log I think there's a lot of loggers I think this is I'm going on logging

it just feels right logging is correct yeah logging kills 135 people per 100,000 workers wow not Kenny logins logging no physical labor

and not just writing things down as they happen not that kind of logging I got to assume that's like or blogging yeah blogging like a tree falling on them the the cutter

I think saw, I think saw mishaps. So I probably saw mishaps or that stuff shifting around on big trucks when you're up there standing on stuff. I don't know. I've seen enough videos of people going, oh, that tree's not falling the way I thought. Right. And then it falls. Last words. Well, wait.

Then how come that show, the fishing show, you said fishing was not it, the commercial fishing. It was on the list, but not on, not, yeah. They pretend every time they get on there. It's not as many commercial fishermen is. Well, yeah, that's the thing as numbers. right yeah but also like they claim to be the most dangerous game or whatever the most yeah the dangerous most dangerous job in the world i think is what it's called yeah yeah they're inflating them numbers well what's the show on tv called uh something like that

right most dangerous catch catch catch that's it catch that's it in that case then that's different i guess yeah if you don't catch logs is the only reason yeah if you're catching brim not as dangerous as yeah no no no judgment to those who like to catch logs. You know who you are. All right. Go ahead, Brian. All of this is way more dangerous. All those jobs are way more dangerous than our jobs. Than podcasting, correct? Yeah. Another dangerous job is scamming people, Brian. And if you're thinking about scamming people for over $700,000 a year, which of these is the most successful scam? Is it?

Fake IRS collections. B, the Nigerian Prince email. C. Fake debt collection or D fake eBay listings Wow Those are all just They're all good Hand over fist money Yeah they're all good 700,000 you say

$700,000 a year Fake IRS collections Nigerian prints emails Fake debt collection or fake eBay listings All right I'm going to go With them damn eBay

listers. They're the worst. Seems like you could do a huge volume of those, too. This would be my answer. My iPad just arrived and it's a brick in an apple box. Dang it. Is it fake eBay listings? It is not. Oh, it is not.

Scott gives the point. And I like faking Scott out with his itty trigger finger. Yeah. It's like cut the red wire, but first cut the green wire. Right. The red wire is not the one you want to cut. That's hilarious.

I just watched a MASH episode. They're so evil. By the way, every movie or TV show, it's always like, yes, you got to make sure you cut the red wire. And then just as they're about to cut it, they say, oh, wait, no, it's the blue wire. Every show, every time they cut something, there's always a last second switch to a different wire. Yeah, it's a freaking stupid truth. I hate it. Exactly.

May as well play this. All right. All right. So let's say. So the remaining choices are fake IRS collections, Nigerian print emails, or fake. debt collection. Now, just to clarify, this isn't where they get

the, this isn't where they get the most suckers. This is just saying what's the most prominent? Where they get the most money. $700,000 a year. Don't ask him if it's on average. All right. I'm going to do, I'm going to do the Nigerian prince thing. Even though that sounds like the wrong answer to say Nigerian

Prince, the reason I'm saying that is it is the cheapest, it is the cheapest thing to mass do. it's just a numbers game so you can send out a billion of those and all you need is a half a percent to reply and you're a billionaire or millionaire. So I'm going to say that, the Nigerian

Prince deal. Nigerian Prince emails is, press the correct button. That is absolutely right. Is that the reason? Is that why was I right about why? I don't know about why, but it does make sense, right? Because with the IRS collections you have to do some legwork and figure out

get as much information about your mark as possible. Same with the debt collection. But Nigerian print emails, I mean, you just have a 100,000 list of email addresses go, boof, send them out. Right. I'm curious.

I'm curious the number, though. I know we got of the amount, but I'm curious about how many does it take? It's like, are they making $5 per moron, or is it? I'm guessing it's less like a thousand. Like, then it's probably closer to $1,000 per moron.

And so all they have to do is get 700 people a year to do it. Yeah. So I'm guessing it's well below a percent, a single percent of total email sent actually doing this. Well below. But that's the point. That's the whole reason spam works is it's all takes. Numbers.

Do you think actual Nigerian princes are really, like, disheartened by this whole thing? No, just sitting there. One of them is sitting there going, I can't send email out anymore. Nobody believes any email I sent it. I got to look, as there are even a Nigerian prince. I got to go. Yeah, that's the other thing. Can I look at that?

I'm just going to very narrowly focus on that one question. I'm not going to look at anything else. You totally can because this next question is for Scott. So while you're Googling that, I'll ask that question. Is your sister suffering from Capgras delusion, C-A-G-R-A-S delusion? She might be if she thinks the following is true about you. A, that you're an imposter pretending to be you. B, that you're trying to kill her.

C, that you're trying to kidnap her. or D, that you're an alien. This is your sister? It's a sister specifically like a sibling? No, it's just, that's just some flavor text for this. Okay. If somebody is suffering from cap grass delusion, what do they think is true about you? You're going to, no, let's do, you're an alien.

You're an alien. That is incorrect when he gets the point. Damn it. so the remaining choices Brian gets the point the remaining choices are that you're an imposter pretending to be you

that you're trying to kill her or that you're trying to kidnap her and what's the what's the thing called the disease cap grass delusion C-A-G-R-A-S

it's a deluge and well give me that first one again I think you said it right away go ahead that you're an imposter that you're an imposter pretending to be you

that's me that's it that's your choice that's me that's me that's you you're the ambassador who is this really

I'm a Nigerian prince, which is no real quick answer to this. God, I know. I know. Because you know why? There's no definitive quick answer. Here's why. This is what I assumed. If you search for that, it's just going to give you a million results about the concept of a Nigerian prince email scam. Like, that's all it's going to be. Go to Yahoo answers and ask, is there really a Nigerian prince? Yeah. Maybe like Nigerian, I will get it. Nigerian royalty or something. I don't know. uh by the way brian you're right it is that you're an imposter that she thinks that you're an imposter pretending to be brian done actually was i was reading about this recently uh so yeah i kind of yeah i kind of knew about it i've been reading a bunch of stuff about uh stuff about men and black

not not the movie yeah the real men and black theory stuff yeah don't worry i'm not going down no hole on i'm trying to understand why people believe this crap yeah so i'm been learning about that kind of stuff. Listen, I drove by a woman on the corner, not half a mile from my house, on the corner with a big sign about the vaccine and like a heart with wings about our freedoms being taken away, wearing a t-shirt with cut-out shoulders that said tyranny resistance team. She was all alone, so apparently there is an I-M-team. And I had to look it up, and these are the QAnon folks thinking that Hillary Clinton eats babies in a basement of a pizza place and wonderful that's the part that i can't believe she's pizza place she's you went too

far she eats pizza or she eats babies in full public view she doesn't eat them in a basement i mean come on uh real quick here i uh i got a little answer for us um oh good the they're during the pre-colonial period and the colonial era era there were both uh you know there was royalty of a sort there were kings and sort of you know uh princes that would inherit the kingdoms and that sort of stuff But from 2010, I'm sorry, 1960 and forward, it has been alternating democratic and military governments. Right now, there's this, since 2010, there's this thing called 160 traditional fathers. They are 116 dudes who are called around the country, who are responsible for preventing robberies and kidnappings in their areas. Interesting.

Yeah, so it's like a police force kind of thing. It's weird. And now I've kind of forgotten what exactly the subject of the email is. I know that it's from a Nigerian prince. Is he trying to get back his rule? Have we been denying this guy? He's just trying to, what's the deal? He needs money transferred.

Yeah, he needs you to hold onto his money, but he needs some of your money first to be able to transfer the money. That's right. Sorry, yeah, we're trying to get the democracy or the monarchy back, but it's a democracy. See, and I need $1,000 to get this monarchy back. Yeah, got to get that going. Get that single ruler business back on, baby. And I'm looking to you, grandma, living in a retirement home.

You're the one who's going to be a business. Now go buy $1,000 worth of iTunes cards from Walgreens. Thanks. All right, Brian. Only legit. This is the next question comes back to you. When you're traveling on a New York City subway, 15% of the air you breathe, is what?

Fecal matter. It's fecal matter as always fecal matter. Do you even want to hear the choices? Yes, yeah, give me the choices. Give me the choices. A, dead skin, B, fecal matter. C, gas fumes, or D, body odor. How can I not put fecal matter?

You knew it right away, didn't you? It is not fecal matter, believe it or not. I don't know what the percentage is of fecal matter, but it's not that. Scott gets the point, and Scott, your choices are dead skin. skin, gas fumes, or body odor. 15% of the air you breathe is what? That is what I think it is the more likely answer. I'm going to go with gas fumes, probably.

Yeah, gas fumes. Or gas. It is not gas fumes. The chat room has been nailing it. It is dead skin. It makes sense. The air that you breathe in the subway is dead skin. You said 15%.

You didn't say 50%. right? No, 15. Oh, okay. All right. Oh, is that, isn't really that much better, though? Yeah.

It's a lot better. I would take 50 or 50. Right. One of those is full on dead skin. That's, no, that's not how it works. I would be worried that I wouldn't even be able to,

to, you know, survive at 50%. I know, but I love Brian. That Brian's take is amazing. Yeah, this way, like, okay, it's like Russian roulette. That 14th breath just hit you. Right. Exactly. I've had nine good breaths. I'm holding my breath for this 10th one.

Oh, man, New York. Get your skin taken care of. What are you doing? It's gross. It's just dead skin. Yeah, that's all it is. Just dead skin in your throat and your lungs and your body. That's all it is. It's fine. Exactly. So I'm going to stand on the subway and it's go, do you guys taste that? Anybody taste dead skin? What tastes like dead skin? Oh, that's gross. All right. That means that some...

What smells like carrots? Yeah, I don't... All right. So, this is... This final question goes to Scott. Yes, because if people matter... Whoops. No.

Tastes as good as it smells every time. There you go. Tate is good as it smells every time. This one also determines the winner. You guys are two and two right now. So this question, if Scott gets it right, then Matthew gets the prizes. If Scott gets it wrong, then Jake B gets...

Two-thirds of the prizes. All right, Matthew, Danger, we got this. All right, here we go. Matthew Nightmare, by the way. Oh, Nightmare. Although, maybe you should change his name to danger. All right, Scott. What household item gets heavier over time because of the accumulation of 10 million dust mites over the span of 10 years?

Is it? A, couch cushions. B, mattresses. C, bed pillows, or D, blankets. It's got to be mattresses. right mattresses is that your final answer taking it to the mattresses

it's got to be it is mattresses Scott gets the he wins the game give it to danger nightmare he wins everything in that in that weight is from bed bugs what kind of bugs dust mites

10 million dust mites accumulated over 10 years yeah because the reason I'm saying this is because that of the things you listed it's the most immobile it just sits there yes even though you use it you're not really huge

it can accumulate that many compared to like a pillow you know what i think you know what i think i think i think that's all a bunch of BS that is this mattress manufacturers want to sell more mattresses they already tell you to change them out every 10 years coincidence yeah whatever men in black i'm not reading too much conspiracy stuff yeah what do you think it is that makes purple mattresses purple yeah it's the dust the dust mites here here's a little clip to remind yourself that mattress you've got to destroy that mattress that's right that's that's big mattress telling you to get rid of that mattress every time.

It's right. Mattress. I'm happy I won for Matthew. I really am. Yeah. I also like Tempe is a town. Tempe, Arizona is pretty cool. I like it.

It is a town. Yeah. I've been there a bunch of times. I didn't know Dunaway was there. It was probably, Dunnoy, what years are you there? When was it? 2000, 2001. Okay.

I would have actually been there one of those years while you were, you and I were on the same soil. Yes. I guess we technically are now, but, uh, just more, you know. I mean, really depends on. how you describe the... We were a lot closer... We were a lot closer geographically than we are now.

How's that? Yeah, I felt you. There you go. I felt you. Brian will send this out to our winner. And don't worry. Emails will go out today. Don't worry, Jake, you can always try again in the future. Listen, Jake is getting Euro truck simulator too,

so he can see what it's like to drive a Peter built over the Alps. I don't know how that game works, but... It's basically that. You're not wrong. Probably something like that. They're European trucks. usually, but they're, uh, and they're all brand name and super fancy, but they're, uh, you're right. You're going over crazy terrain and, in places you'd never been. And, and you really are

driving, you're long haul driving. So settle in and enjoy it. Cause if that bores you, you're going to hate it. If you like that kind of thing, you're going to love it. People love these games. Love them. All right. Brian Dunaway, um, um, um, boop show today, 3.30. Um, yeah. Um, yum, um, that's happening today. And I'm excited because I'm talking about, uh, uh, uh, a Banner, no, what's it called? Ruin Banner? No. Banner. Ruin Banner. Banner. Banner. Banner. Ruin. That's it. Banner. Ruin. That's it. Banner. Ruin. That's it. Banner's of Ruin. That's it. Banner's of Ruin. That's it. Banners of Ruin. An amazing deck builder I found. And you've got some cool game of your own picking. So we're going to. Yes. I am playing a DREAMCaper is a hacker slash rogue like. Ooh, I like, though. You know, I like that. With a really nice slant to artistic style.

I've enjoyed it. Oh, that's good. Well, we're going to talk about these two indie games in a show that we cover Indies on and all sorts of other stuff. So check it out today, 330 Mountain Time at frogpants. TV or get the podcast after the fact. Brian done away, have a fantastic rest of your week. Oh, you.

See you. See you. Bye. All right. Well, that was fun. I enjoyed that. Yeah. That was a good bunch of questions.

Yeah. Well, I think that means we've got a little time for this. It's time for the news. Brought to you by. The Frog Pan's Free Comic Book Day. It's coming this weekend. Scott, how does this thing work? Well, good news.

Chatham and put these up for you. You can see them. Whoops. There's my King Shark. It's who I did this year. And Carter did Pocodot Man from... Oh, very cool. Also from that movie.

That guy, the actor, retweeted her image today. That was really nice. David Dasmelschen. Dasmalsh-Malsh-Chainshtun. He really liked it. Brian, I'm going to send this via Discord so you can see them. Yeah, please put in Discord. I'd love to see it.

These are the two. I've seen your King Shark and I think it's excellent. Oh, thank you. And you're really going to like her take. It's great. Oh, my God. She's so good, dude. It makes me sick.

Anyway, these are happening. They'll be signed. And the 4x6 prints. We do it every year and have done since, what, 2012, I think. And normally it's May, because that's when free comic book day is, but the pandemic changed that to sometime in August. And you might say, well, Scott,

we're also past August. You're right, we are. We're just doing this on our own, okay? So F, whatever official day it is. Technically, it's still August, and it'll still be August this weekend. Well, that's true. But August 14th is normally the day. Yeah, yeah. We're doing it on this Saturday is the point. So this coming Excuse me. This coming Saturday, first thing that morning we'll have these posted. They're free, 100% free, as they are every year. If you've collected them all in the past, there's a chance to get them all and add these to your collection. So again, that'll be this Saturday. You'll see it tweeted all over the place and on the Facebook group. And I'll mention it on other shows and all that stuff. And there'll be plenty of time during that day to get it, but you do have just that day to do it. So mark it down. 100% free, right in the mail to you.

you are international, same deal. You get them there too. So even Claire Geck can get one. Or both of them. Yeah. They'll come to you no matter where you live. All right. We do this every year.

It's our way of saying thanks. And a fun project for me and Carter. So check it out. All right. Cool. Let's do the news here. Hey, Brian, that guy with the world record for consuming over 30,000 Big Macs, we've talked about him in the past.

It's been a while. We have, yeah. He still eats one every day, every single day. I guess that means he breaks the record every day. Yeah, every day the record gets further and further. Yeah. It's true. Yeah.

Here's the thing. They always say, you know, if you stick to the burgers and the sandwiches and the stuff that you're used to, it sounds like a song. Stick to the time that you're used to. What am I thinking of? You're thinking of Waterfalls. Don't go eat in Whopper Juniors. Please stick to the big mecks and the fries. that you're used to.

Exactly. Sorry. You're totally right. Anyway, he just keeps going. And those are okay as long as you're not eating the fries. The fries would kill you. Anyway, it says if you frequent food websites, you probably come across Donald Gork. Gorsh.

Gorsky. Gorsky. I'd say Gorski. Yeah, I'd probably say Gorski. I think I'm saying Gorski as well. Oh, this guy's hair. It's bad. It's bad.

It's made of special sauce. What are you going to do? Exactly. Even if the name doesn't ring a bell, he is not a celebrity chef, blah, blah, blah, we know this. But in 2016, he was recognized by Guinness World Records for achieving the most Big Mac burgers eaten in a lifetime. When his record was certified, also, how do you certify that? You keep all your receipts? I don't know how that works.

He might keep all his boxes because I'm actually seeing a, he's got quite a collection of Big Mac boxes on his wall. Here we'll take a look at this chat. Yeah, it's a photo about, like he. He keeps a unique looking box every time they change it. His hair is bad. Oh, it is. It really is. Yeah.

I don't like it. It makes me feel funny. Oh, there they are. Next to a sweet, sweet velvet painting of a sunset. Yep. And a bunch on the other side, a bunch of Hummel figurines, it looks like. Oh, that hair. Someone just helped the poor guy out and just, I don't know.

Yeah. Maybe part it. I don't know. Something? He is Ronald McDonald. Anyway, so he now still eats one every day, and he's done so since he got his record. In the new video, he posted on YouTube this week is one of the most engaging four and a half minutes I've ever watched, says this article. If you're familiar with Gorski's record, some of the details and discussions on this video were new to me. now at 32,340 Big Macs, he reveals the way he's kept track of that number. It's stunning.

Quote, May 17, 1972 was the day I got my first car. I drove to McDonald's, ordered my first three Big Macs. Geez. Went out in the car and ate them. And I said there, I said there that I'm going to probably eat these for the rest of my life. And I threw the cartons in the back seat and started counting them from day one. So it sounds like he's got the cartons.

Oh, my gosh. But where are these, I don't want to see this hoarder room where he keeps them all? There's no way they're that organized. Look at that. There's no way. I mean, there's, you know, the, yeah, 30,000 that does seem. I mean, maybe after the, after you get certified for the first 10,000, you can just save the receipts or something. I don't know. I guess so?

I don't know. Yeah. I'd like to sit down with them and say, do these taste the same as they did in 72? Oh, I could probably even answer that and say, no, they do not. I couldn't imagine, right? They're different. They've got to be. Yeah.

They're smaller. But because he's not eating the fries, he just gets like this picture of him eating. He's got two Big Macs and a drink. A drink. And he's not like a tub of goo or anything. So I don't think it's gone to his waist. He says he walks about six miles a day to maintain his health. All right.

Six miles, two Big Macs. You know, at a certain point, and probably somewhere in the 500s, you're not eating them for the enjoyment, but you're eating them for the enjoyment, but you're eating them for the. the record. That's true. Like at this stage, that's what he's doing, right? Yeah. Like, I don't drink nowadays, not because it wouldn't help me, but because I have a record to keep. Because you have a record to keep. Yeah, exactly. I try not now. Next time I feel like barfing, I'm going to try real hard not to. Why? Because I have a record to keep. Right. 2005, baby. But what does that record get you? Nothing. Zero. Nothing. Nada. I get nothing out of it. Except conversation and show content. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, clear.

I also have a record. Just the opposite. Exactly. That's funny. All right. Moving on. Good luck to him. You know,

whatever. It's his thing. He found his life's goal and found it very early. And he found exactly. It certainly isn't going to great clips and getting a decent haircut. Yeah. No. Way down his bucket list is get a damn haircut from a professional.

That means he was buying these burgers when you and I were two years old. Right. first burgers. And every day since. Yeah. Every single day since. Every day since. Might be fun. God, what if you, what if you travel or something? You go somewhere where there's not a McDonald's nearby or like, you know, how much, what's the most he's spent to get to a McDonald's via taxi or something if there wasn't one within walking distance of a trip to Kalamazoo, Michigan or something? That's a good point. Maybe they're just so numerous that it's impossible. Like when I was in China, they were like five I could go to in every city I was in. Yeah, it's true. So I don't know. Maybe. Even Tokyo had them all over the place. Yeah. Maybe they're just. Yeah, he doesn't look like much of a traveler. That's kind of a good point. Yeah, he looks like he's a mail carrier or something. Right? Security guard maybe. Yeah. One of the two. Maybe both. I don't know. Maybe you can do both. He's like, hey, he's your mail and also quit hanging around here, kids. You know, you do both things. Right. Exactly.

All right, moving on to this one. This is great. Man rescued and facing charges after floating nude on a group of logs. On a group of logs. What's a group of logs called? A cluster of logs. Cluster. I mean, is somebody going to make the obvious wood joke?

He's got wood. Oh, he's got wood. How about it? It's a Lincoln of logs. There you go. A Lincoln of logs. I love it. You want to hear one of my favorite Futurama references of all time?

sure i'm gonna play it for you i played it before but i'm gonna play it again here you go i was born in 200 log cabins i love that it was abraham lincoln uh but he was broken he was an animatronic abraham oh right it was all busted up in in robot prison and uh he thinks he was born in 200 log cabins i love that so much um all right moving on uh man has been charged after he was rescued while floating nude on a group of logs down the Nailochukki River, Naila Chucky River. No Lachucky. No Lachucky in Green River and Green County.

We don't want to state this is. Green County, let's see, where is W, CYB? He traveled from Tusculum to South Green and saying, let's see, where is? It's not saying. There's nothing in here that, uh, all right, I'm gonna, oh, somebody. Someone says a Carolina maybe. I don't know. Somebody says maybe a Carolina. I'll find out. Let's see. I usually just go to these websites and then look at their weather. Because that's the giveaway. That's the giveaway. That's the giveaway. It's a good idea.

Yes. Well, let's see. Cruise tried to rescue. Tennessee. All right. Fair enough. Cruz tried to rescue him at Jones Bridge. However, the man refused to be rescued and kept going down the river. Cruz again tried to rescue him at Bird's Bridge, but he still refused. the man then or the man then asked for water at some point he what listen to the sentence yeah the sentence is really effed up the man asked for water at some point he wanted some water won't somebody give him some water please give him water yeah no punctuation nothing just runs right together yeah Tennessee what are you gonna do just kidding you guys are great it was going let's see it was getting difficult for the rescue boat to get to the man because of high waters due to the recent heavy rain oh henry man Henry pissing all over the place.

Al-Rie. Oh, re. Oh, re. It's like a hurricane that wears a scarf, if you can believe it. Like Patrick. We used to call Patrick a scarf wearing a hurricane. Really, really stormy. Anyway, they finally got the guy.

He was saying, he's saying God bless the USA while on his journey. He said, I'm proud to be in me a great. Lee Greenwood, I think. My wiener's free Anyway I gladly thank the man who died Who gave that right to me And I'll gladly stand up

No sit down We can see your penis Defend her still to day I love this land And there's something else Right? That's the song Yeah Okay

That's the one The most pandery It's the worst Exactly I'm going to write a national anthem, but not call it a national anthem. People that listen to that song, unironically, I can't even have lunch with you, people. I can't have that. Exactly.

You got it. I think that's legally the only song that that and YMCA by the village people were the only songs that Trump was able to play in his rallies without a cease and desist. Yeah, I think you're right. Oh, man. All right. But the best, the best one is YMCA. Of all the songs that he gets allowed to play. My favorite is born in the USA from Springsteen.

Springsteen, which if you read the lyrics. People assume it's a very pro, you know, very jingoistic song. It's not. It's literally the opposite. And it's so lost on these people. They'll play it at a rally and I'll just go, you guys didn't read it, did you? You don't know what this says. And Springsteen gets mad and says quit using my music.

But I'm like, no, no, no, just for a hot second, Go online, look at a lyrics website, and read those lyrics. It's not what you think it is. No, no. Dumbassies. It's like the people at the weddings that I DJed, wanting every breath you take played. It's like, yeah, it may be a slow song, but it's not a romantic song. No, it's like pumped up kids or what's the, kids, yeah, pumped up kids.

Yeah, everyone's like, oh, that's such a fun, happy, go lucky. I'm like, no, there's a kid with a gun at school. It's not good. Hey, yeah, by Outcast is a song about divorce. Oh, really? Yep. That one. Mm-hmm.

How about, what's that? There's another one. Oh, baby, don't mess around, and I know for sure. Somebody told me the other day that the Puff the Magic Dragon is not about weed. It's not, everyone says it is, but it isn't. Is that true, you know? Yes, it's right. Just like Lucy in the sky with diamonds is not about LSD.

Uh-huh. Gotcha. Okay. Fair enough. We don't believe anyone is what we're saying. We don't believe you. People. Yeah, pumped up kicks, not pumped up kids, yeah.

Yeah, pumped up kicks, like the shoes. Kicks, the shoes, the kicks. Did we say pumped up? By the way, I came up with a great invention. Because I had it, we went to a deli this weekend, and I got a bottle of diet ginger beer, which was really good. But it was too small for my cup holder, and I think what they should do is in a future car have like a Nike pump thing that you put your drink, your red bull, your other thin, thin glass in there, and then you push this little pss, p, p, p, p, p, p, p, and it inflates a little ring that holds your drink in place.

I like it. Yeah, and then it also kind of keeps a little bit cooler. Yeah, because you want the insulation, that's the whole point. You want the insulation, and so, uh, and then your drink doesn't wobble around in the, uh, in the deal. Greenbow bright says that exists already, does it? What? Did Brian just invent a thing that already exists?

Come on now. Come on Seriously Pump Pump drink holder I'm already bummed this weekend That the internet The internet already came up with the joke

And it was like you know It was a It doesn't surprise me But I was going to do I was going to draw a little sketch Of the Blade Runner The dude at the beginning interviewing Leon

And he says Yeah we put these questions together To see who's a replicant And who's human And they just hands him a sheet Saying you know Which of these squares shows crosswalks.

I love that. And somebody already came up. Someone already did it. Oh, man. I thought it was so funny. I was like laughing about it. Well, this is the problem with the modern day.

Back in the day, people may have I had the same idea, but they were a continent away and no one had the internet, so you never knew if anything were going on up. Right, exactly. So looking at it, these are just floating,

well, I guess they're inflatable. I don't know if these count. Chatroom put a link in. They're like a little drink holder. drink holders for your car or just for your pool? This is for the pool. Yeah, that's a whole different thing. Crazy Neighbor has a...

As a matter of fact, I bought Crazy Neighbor a set of these. And they're... By the way, they are... They don't support drinks. Drinks topple over in those things. Unless they're, like, shot glasses. If they're anything taller than four inches, the drink falls over and dumps up.

Oh, really? Oh, man. Real quick, here, I have to play this every time you bring him out. I don't have time for your crazy neighbor antics. There. Anytime I bring up crazy neighbor. Yeah, that's the new thing. You've got to do the Crazy Neighbor clip. Yes.

We're going to take a break. When we come back, Stephen Schleiker will be joining us and talking about some pretty nerdy, cool stuff. And I have some questions for him also regarding a very old but venerable comic event series that I'm reading now and I have questions. See if he knows any answers to those. Interesting. That'll all be here in a second. But before that, Brian brought a song and he will now describe it and we will play it. Yeah, let's talk about Austin.

Texas and a band that's going to be having a residency there for the rest of this month, which isn't really much left. But it's a band called Heartless Bastards. They have a brand new song and a video that just came out. Their brand new album called A Beautiful Life comes out via sweet unknown records and 30 Tigers records. On Friday, September 10th, go out and get it because this is so good. This is some good old jangly power pop just the way I like it. Here's the band heartless bastards and the song How Low? People, can we get together and help each other out?

The temperature is rising, oh, the world is filled with so much of greed. How much you really need All in all and all and never stops Oh, don't you see All and all and never stops How much do you really need? Oh, oh, how long where you go On to get to the top

I hope we never really have to find out Oh, oh, oh, oh How long where you go Oh On a get to the top Cameo Try to find some balance Sometimes I can hardly take it

Oh, oh The world has so much Needless suffering Oh, the night It never stop Oh, don't you see on and on and never stop. How much do you really need? Oh, how long will you go?

Oh, I get to the top, I hope we never really have to find out. Oh, oh, oh, oh, how long will you go? Oh, only get to the top. Cameo, try to find some balance. It's a real, we'll feel up, feel up

Oh, it's a real, bill, real love, sometimes I can hardly take it

Oh, oh, the world has so much needless suffering on and on and never stops Oh, don't you see? Let's lift each other up now

Or just let each other be Oh I know where you go Only get to the top I hope we never really have to find out Oh Oh I know where you go

Only get to the top Cameo You guys, you guys, you guys, how manly is your band? I guarantee you not as manly as the band I'm wearing right now. Manly bands helps men find wedding bands that fit their personality and their budget and their finger, for that matter, with unique and stylish designs. all right so here's how easy this is you start this process with manly bands by getting their manly ring-sizer to ensure that it will fit you perfectly for both work and play and whatever you're doing right this was awesome did not expect this process to be so easy my phone just

did it once you know your size then comes the fun of choosing their wide selection or from their wide selection materials like gold wood antler steel and even dinosaur bone not kidding either You can also choose from one of many manly bands curated collections, such as the Jack Daniels Whiskey Barrel Collection. Mmm, I got the storyteller, by the way. I love it. Once you've selected your band, you get free shipping worldwide, a 30-day exchange policy, and a free warranty. So all I know is, I've had plenty of rings in the past. Some have turned green, and were not what I was told they were. Others have cost way, way too much money, and weren't sized right.

like they're it's hard right it's the the perils of trying to get a good band well the one i got from manly bands has been awesome and also got here really fast that was the weirdest bit i thought well this isn't going to get here before i have to talk about it and it totally did like four days ahead and i love it uh it's a beautiful band i wish i could show you right now but you guys are listening on audio so you can't see it they're beautiful that's why you got to go to manlybans dot com and check this stuff out anyway uh i want you to get it a good deal too to get 25 percent off your manly band for a limited time. Go to manlybans.com slash TMS. Plus you'll get a free silicone ring. I forgot to mention that. I love that. Having that is great. That's manlybans.com

slash TMS for 25% off of your order for a limited time. Go check it out. They're awesome. How badly do you want it? The rod has always represented. The rod has always represented. presented a phallus. You fat slob. This is the morning stream. All right, we're back, and that song again was... That song again was How Low by Heartless Bastards. Get it on their brand new album, A Beautiful Life, which comes out.

September 10th. Nice. Heartless bastards. Great name. It is a great name. Heartless bastards. Now opening, Heartless bastards. Yeah. It's a fun, it's a fun one to say and think about. All right. We're going to get Brian or who is it, Stephen, Stephen in here. No bill today. He's, no bill today. He's too busy making. Yeah. He's got as, well, the people that made him are visiting, I guess, his parents. Oh, really? The ultimate makers. Yeah. The ultimakers, as it would be. Yeah, they had a hot, sweaty night in the back of an Impala, back in, like, 71, 72 or something. Made two babies that night. That's right.

They were so into it. Identical twins. That's right. All right. Let's get Stephen in here. Play this. Stephen Schleiker. Steven Schleiker.

Ah, that laugh can be attributed only to one man, and that is Stephen Schlecker. Joining us from major spoilers.com, Stephen, welcome back to the show. You want to see your children. again, you'll give me 10 bit coin. Oh, no. I'm going to fall for this. The Russian prince. Are there princes of Russia? Yeah, what do we got? This is

even as a kidnapper dream. Oh, okay, gotcha. I got you. Oh, right, you got to hear that. So do you have, I mean, any interpretation there? What do you think I was doing there with you as the kidnapper? Carter Johnson, who many people might know is your daughter.

Does artwork for major spoilers for our patrons. Yes. And I think you see that as me stepping in and trying to steal your child away from you. Oh, my God. It's brilliant. I hadn't thought of that.

No, yeah. I'm actually all, I'm super in favor of it because she makes amazing stuff for your, for your patron, but maybe subliminally. Super in favor of him kidnapping Carter. What?

No, no, of her doing all this cool work for him. I love it. But maybe deep down inside, I'm like, you can't take away my progeny. She's my artist replacement. She's here if I die.

Or whatever. That's what's going on. I don't know. Well, fine interpretation. It's the best I've heard so far. Stevens here, as we always have them on Monday, as we talk about cool stuff going on in comics and nerd stuff in general. Speaking of which, well, let me ask you this question first.

All right. So I put out a tweet not long ago saying, hey, everybody, tell me your favorite big event comic storyline things. Like we're talking Civil War style, Dark Phoenix, yeah, all that. crisis on infinite earths yes so i'm glad you said that i'm now reading for the first time ever 1985's crisis on infinite earths uh which is earths which will smith is in no um it's a gigantic big crossover monster event maybe one of the biggest and the most top people always bring it up

as one of the big events and maybe one of the ones that set in stone the idea of a big comic event and kind of what you would expect from one and so I'm reading it. It's George, is it George Perez did the art, I think? It was George Perez. Yeah, George Perez did the art. It's great.

Amazing artwork. He's great. That shot of Superman holding Supergirl. I think that image is, I think that's Alex Ross, though, isn't it? Did the cover? No, no, not that early on.

He did paintings for the reprints that came out in, like the 20th, 5th anniversary or something like that. Alex Ross was probably about, what, 15 or something. Yeah, good point. When those originally came out. Yeah, good point.

This is like mid-80s. Anyway, I'd never read it. I'd always heard about it. I think there was even a radio play or something for a while. There is a, like, audiobook adaptation of the series that I want, I forget what the name of the group is. Graphic Audio, I believe, is the group that does those. And they're really pretty good. So here's my question.

Is, am I meant to, I mean, it was the 80s? writing styles have changed there's definitely some stuff that feels like oh yeah this was definitely written in the decade that they're portraying here which is fine but there's also a lot of sort of language like you know

green lantern or the equivalent of him on one of these earths is just sort of talking super frenzy like like he's a little bit like my powers seem to have no effect on the thing you know like a lot of that sort of stuff whereas comics today they don't really do that they don't like monologue every movie they make or whatever is that that's that's just an 80s thing okay that was definitely the style like

if you go back and read some of uh stan lee's uh original stuff it's just like wall of text and dicko and and kirby have to cram their art down into the corner yeah exactly so so i shouldn't i shouldn't let that slow me though i should keep going because it's right no go ahead and and go through it i think one of the more interesting things about crisis is a lot of people just pick up and read the crisis series the 12 books that comprise that max series, but so much of it happens in the spinoffs. All of a sudden, there's like one panel of like, you know, Earth, Earth 2, Batman and Robin doing something. And then it's like to find out what's really going on, go read, you know, this issue of detective comics.

Right, right. Yeah. And the way they, it's nice, because in the DC Infinite app, they have the entirety of all the, all the crossover, all the bitty bits and everything. And they do it in chronological. Or for people that just want to get to the core, they do that 12 issue maxi series. like you said, I'm doing the big broad beast, starting with where they say to start. Well, hats off to you, because that is, some of it is just like, some of it barely has anything to do with the bigger than it, right? Like, I think one of the Aquaman ones is just like, just barely touches on it like, oh, we must go and get the key.

And then there's like a, you know, the back half of the issue is dedicated to them getting the key. But other than that, it has nothing to do with what's going on in the greater crisis. Well, let's see what happens. Except the skies are red. I just feel like it's this thing that's just like been burning a hole back there forever and I just need to finally like consume it. And I'm enjoying it so far. It's really worth checking out.

It's really worth checking out. Because again, like you said, with the success of that, then we start to see even major crossovers happening across all other books because this was a huge seller for DC back in the day. And, you know, people ever since have just tried to replicate success. Yeah. I even have a crisis follow-up of some sort here more recently called crap. What's that called?

It was something called Infinite. Oh, Infinite Crisis, though, was a different thing. Wasn't that? That was just who killed Elongated Man's Wife, right? Oh, no, that was Identity Crisis. That was Identity Crisis, right. So they try to cram a lot of crisis titles in their books right now.

Yeah, and they're, well, see, this was back in 2005, I guess. Oh, yeah, Infinite Crisis, this is what I was thinking of. Jeff Johns. I can't remember. Meanwhile, Marvel just overuses the suffix verse. Yeah. If people are looking for a big, it's not really a big crossover event, but if someone wants to read it, I think, a really solid event comic that is a little bit more modern.

Now, when I say modern, it's like within the last 15 years. Yeah. DC's 52 was a weekly series that DC said, we're going to jump all the rest of our titles a year ahead. And in 52, we're going to have this book come out once every week. Yeah. And you're going to find out what happened during that missing year for our superheroes. And it's a fantastic. It's really good, yeah. event yeah i've read all that i love that that was that's one of the things that got me hooked on this app was revisiting that still have all those issues of crisis too somewhere you have those on the long box in the basement here yeah um don't get them wet as stephen has taught us once never get them wet um like the mug why you don't want a bunch

of gremlin comics i should just sell everything before these things get wet you know it's it's something before it gets wet yeah let's just sell all these comics why are you selling I would like, I'm trying to get rid of them before they get wet. That should be your answer to everything. Yeah. So the other one that I really enjoyed or the other like more recent thing, it's less of a like, well,

whatever, the deceased thing and also the one that was based on the game and I always forget the damn name. The one that was based on the fighting game. Oh, injustice? Injustice. The Injustice series had no right being as good as it was. It was, that is an awesome series and feels like an event in its own right.

And there is some crossover with some other smaller comic stuff that, or whatever. But there's the main storyline. I didn't think I would ever say, oh yeah, the one that's based on a video game is good. It's more than good. It is fantastic that series. So if you're looking for something recent, recent check that out. Interesting fact, which will lead us into one of the first stories today, is that the Injustice 2 game brought Misha Green, who was the producer-creator of Lovecraft Country and Underground,

and Journey Smollett, who was also in Lovecraft Country but played Black Canary in the emancipation of Harley Quinn, Birds Prey, brought them together because they would play that game online with one another, and now they're teaming up to bring a Black Canary series to HBO Max. No way. That's awesome. I'm into that. That sounds great. So this is the Birds of Prey spinoff that had been rumored, I guess. I believe so, or at least a black canary spin-off from Birds of Prey.

From Birds of Prey, right. So if, what was I going to say? Have we gotten Dinah Lance in Titans? No, not yet. Dinna Lance? No. Dinna Lance, yeah. I mean, she's been in the Aeroverse, but not in the Titans.

Oh, God. It seems to me if you don't count the Burlanti stuff, and you can still, because that Please don't count the Burlante stuff. Because technically Titans is Burlanti also. It's just a different... Oh, that's true. Yeah, all right. The CW, you just don't count the CW stuff.

Yeah. I feel like the HBO thing they get away with. Well, I mean, the CW stuff, we've seen that crossover in the crisis on infinite Earths. It was last year where DC Universe movie flash jumped into the crisis on infinite Earths. And D.C. Universe Superman. Yeah. Yep. Yeah.

So they've all mixed it. So they've mixed all that stuff in. But I guess what I'm saying is like Disney Plus is doing with their, with their Marvel shows, like actual, you know, series is. It sounds like HBO Max is attempting something similar. They're going a little darker, but that's very DC anyway. But they've got this. They've got the spinoff from Suicide Squad with a Patriot Idiot.

What's his name? Yeah. Peacemaker. Yeah. Yeah. And they got, now they got this. They got Titans, of course. They have the Green Lantern series in the works.

And they also have the Gotham City, GCPD, but we're not calling it GCPD series over at HBO Max. It's spinning out of the Batman movie that's coming out. Shut up, for real? Is that happening? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So is that like Gotham Central sort of, is? Yes.

That's why he said you can't call it Gotham Central because everybody doesn't want to give Garthennis money. Or not Garthinus. Yeah, Garthinis. That is an amazing. series though oh my gosh that comic is one of my all time favorite series of all time i'm so excited to hear you say that because back in the when they first had that gotham series that's what i was and it was yeah me too it's okay but it's not like what i it's not gotham central if what you're describing is basically them finally getting around to a proper gotham central i will poop my

pants in public i will do it you can't white lotus producers here's your next uh there's your next But, yeah, hubba, hubba. Grab a suitcase. Anyway, so that's cool. Tell us about Black Panther introducing Ironheart. That seems cool. Yeah, so Iron Heart is getting her own series on Disney Plus, part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. But we will get to see her first in the next Black Panther movie, Wakanda, Forever, that is currently in production.

According to an interview that Kevin Feige did, or Fige, whatever, said that you're going to meet ReRewe. Williams in Black Panther 2 first, and then you will see her go off into her own series at Disney Plus, which kind of makes sense because when you think about the advanced technology that Wakanda has, and you know that Regree Williams basically back engineers and Ironman right. Yeah, she reverse engineers a suit. Yeah. That she and Shuri might become best friends, and so it might make sense for those two to appear together on screen. That's great. Yeah, plus the best thing about Marvel movies is having you know cameos from other characters pop up from other movies and stuff

yeah yeah yeah all this black panther stuff gets me excited the the the what if with the cross oh man one if one with um oh with chadwick bozeman was so good the pastoral was very very good yes but it just all this stuff just keeps reminding me that he died and i hate it i hate that he died yeah yeah we still had like a billion things to do with him with this oh totally you should watch uh marini's black bottom too that's one of the last full movie projects that he did and it's excellent he's great not part of the marvel cinematic universe though surprising oh that's too bad I was really hoping that the black bottom does sound like a villain or something like that does right black bottom black bottom his farts can level

mountains um because like black bolt is yeah yeah uh Stephen did you get a a quick look at the far from home trailer before uh before it got pulled oh yeah I did, I mean, realized that the super tiny, grainy video was a, had a lot of special effects weren't in there yet. Yeah. And so while it looks good, well, it looks interesting, a lot of it, you can just tell us like, what is going on in a lot of these shots? And then you realize, oh, wait, those are filler shots until they could get the actual stuff

dropped in. because some of it actually looks like they have weird you know 2D characters moving back and forth across the screen and some of the crowd shots and you're like what the heck Oh really? Okay

I don't think that we're actually going to see Peter Parker go into a 2D cartoon universe and walk around while people are are walking like robots and not moving their legs as they cross the screen so look at this shot of the Spider-Man with dots all over him.

Yeah, yeah. It's supposed to be out today or tomorrow, according to reports. I saw somebody I don't know, so this is totally a rumor. Somebody on Twitter posted a shot from the Scarlet Witch TV show where they had August 23rd circled on one of the calendars in there. And I don't know if that's true or not. It may not be. No, I'm sure it's not. I'm sure that's just, it's like some production designer's birthday or something.

Yeah, I'm sure it is. Set designer. Yeah. by the way spider man far from home looks interesting Sony is taking down every time somebody repost that screenshot of a screenshot of a screenshot video they try to get on there and try to take them down as quickly as they can Tom Holland went to his Instagram stories and says you're not ready for what you're about to see and so I'm very excited about this but it looks like I don't want to spoil or anything but it does look like Dr. Strange plays a big part in this and well the young

The action figure sets have kind of, right, the action figure sets have kind of already spoiled that. Like when you get, you know, the far from home action figure collection, oh, there's a Dr. Strange figure. Okay, there we go. Yeah. I'd forgotten, by the way, sorry, I'm still thinking about Journey Smolett. I say her name. Oh, I'm sorry, no way home, not far from home. No way home, yeah.

Far from home is the other one. Yeah, that's the European vacation. Yeah, there be a European vacation one. She was in. Jamie Smollett. Yeah. She was in, where is it? Oh, I remember her. I just forgot it was her, but she was in Friday Night Lights. She was amazing in that. The TV show, Friday Night Lights. She's been in a ton of things I like. Now I'm all excited. She's really talented. I mean, she really is. I'm excited for this bird of prey. All right. That's about it. There's other stuff always going on over there at the Major Spoilers Network, Major Spoilers.com. Hey, Stephen, what in particular should people be looking for this week? Uh, this week we are diving back into some old comic strips, uh, Sunday comic strips. And we're going to look at Mandrake the magician from his time in comics, uh, in the 1930s, about a year or two before Batman or Superman ever made their appearance. So we're going to be looking at one of the earliest quote unquote superheroes, uh, to appear in, in comics this week on the major spoilers podcast. People can go check that out at major spoilers.com on Wednesday. Uh, but until then, it's still, um, it's still. probably pretty hot in a lot of the world. So please, everybody, stay hydrated.

Now, did you say 1930s? Is that what you said? 1930. All right. Just had to pull one of those. Well done. Stephen, have a great week and be safe. Bye. All right. We've done it. You know that neighbor's got the, got the COVID, the Delta COVID I told you about that was on. Yes, yeah. Entering his third month on oxygen. long haul man i don't know what to do for this guy we're trying to help but we don't know what to do like freaking so bummed out about these got four kids most of them young super young kids they got

one he's just entering junior high i guess the rest of little kids and i don't know we were making them food we had a guy on our ms 150 team um who was on uh respirator for three or four months and and passed away sadly he had ms which didn't help things but it was before the It was before a vaccine, obviously. It was, you know, last summer. Yeah, really sad. My brother-in-law, still breathing funny all these months later. He had the original strain.

Also pre-vaccine, because they've gotten the vaccine since. But, anyway. But Pfizer got approved today, FDA, not that it'll turn to some people's minds who are already being Dix, but maybe. Yeah, we want to follow up from our therapy Thursday, who is waiting for FDA approval. And, I'm curious if, you're going to be all in, yeah, or are you going to move the goalposts? Don't do that. Don't move the goalposts. If your whole thing was, I'm waiting for FDA approval, here's your chance.

Yes, exactly. A lot of people go, no, why did they, and that seems a little rush through now, doesn't it? No, no, no, you don't get it both ways. You get it. Right, exactly. Get it or don't. Exactly. So, you know, I had my COVID test last Thursday.

We talked about on the show. Yeah. And one week from today, we're getting our COVID tests that have to be taken 72 hours before our flight. Yeah. So, like, this whole week, I'm going to be super careful. But if you've had the vaccine, I know you can still be a carrier for Delta. You can carry it, but you can also have it. You can also have it with a breakthrough case, of course.

Sure. But if you don't have the symptoms, but you're carrying it, does that show up on a... Oh, I don't know. I don't know. on a test, a PCR test, or is it just if you've got it and you're experiencing the symptoms? Some people are saying yes. Actually, a lot of people are saying yes. All right.

Yeah, so geez, Louise, this is like, you know, we're doing everything we can to be really good. And actually, really, the time is up. Because if we, it's the previous week that we would have had to be really careful, right? Yeah. Yeah, oh, that would have been the time. Because it's like 14 days, so. Yeah, I guess Delta's the same incubation period. I don't actually know.

I assume it is. Yeah, I don't know, dude. But get ready to have something jammed up your nose. You excited? Well, I don't mind. I don't care. Because it was only half an inch of my nose last time. That's nothing.

That wasn't a brain scratcher. And we're getting it done at the same place because they do PCR tests. Oh, right. Which is the one that's required for international travel. Well, here's what Jamie should do. he should come find that part of the audio where he said it's only an inch and a half and then cut it there cut it right there and then you will yeah it's that's why i said it the way i did to make it difficult i want a challenge for jamie to do some editing i don't want to make it super easy for him yeah so there you have it yeah um quick update someone in the chat said the there was an update on right said fred who's been super anti-vax the singer the singer you remember he about too sexy for a shirt that guy too sexy for the vaccine uh he's now got it and is in a hospital and is still refusing to... Really?

They all do, dude. Whatever. You can't change. When you're in a... Oh, I don't know. That guy, the... Was it Fox News? The guy who just passed away from having it who was super anti-vax.

Oh, Jim Valentine or whatever's name of us? Yes. Yes. And then at the very end said, no, people should go out and get the vaccine. This is horrible. So, I mean, there's some people who, you know, who take a step back and say, oh, yeah, no, we, you really should get the vaccine. Yeah, but they all do. it on their deathbeds.

And then the ones that survive, I worry that they come out going, I'm like, Superman, look what I overcame. I wouldn't worry about the fight. Gosh, we had a, uh, someone leading our country who said those exact things. I've never felt stronger than after having COVID. Yeah. So just, you know, I don't know. Just get your damn thing.

You guys, it's okay. You're not, uh, whatever. Go get the Pfizer. I've given up. I'm actually, uh, someone else was saying this. Oh, I was listening to Bill Burr and he was saying this. He was saying he's saying he actually is rooting for. for everybody. So he's saying he's rooting for people who got the vaccine and are trying to do their

part. And he's rooting for those who didn't get it to get whatever they think they want. He's just like, I've given up. I can't change any minds. If you're not going to get it, you're not going to get it. And I can't, I can't weigh my brain down anymore with your poor decisions. That's how I feel. Exactly. Yeah. That's all you can do, right? Because otherwise, you're just going to be severely disappointed. Yeah, I hate it. All right. Let's move on to this mashup. Speaking of Jamie. All right. Yeah, all right. Here it is.

This is Jamie. Nope, that's 1930. Let's move that out of there. Okay, here it is. This is Jamie made a mashup. It's called, uh, shoot, did I write it down? I did. Fidgett, the cube for reference.

Okay. Okay. I remember that, I know that, uh, the reference. I remember what I used as a reference out, but I do remember using it as a reference. Yep, me too. So let's play it. See what happens. Here goes.

Uh, that stuffed bear has a twinky in it. Shit. I did it. I did it again. Why is Twinkie in there? All right. Boergogee. Bourgogee.

Boergogee. Borgogi. Hi, where can I get a cheeseburger? Do you have cheeseburgers? How about some trousers? Trousers? Do you have pants available? Where can I find a cigarette?

If Brian, you order, I don't know, a blow dryer. That's a bad one. Uh, that's, bye. Thanks, Scott. Thanks a lot. Thanks for reminding you that I'm bald. Better than Dick, I guess. True.

Yeah, anything's better than that. Did it have teats? Well, you could milk. His name was Jack, so no. Oh, yeah, don't milk that cow or that donkey. It looks a lot bigger than I thought it would. Hey, Marge, guess how many boobs I saw today? Thirteen.

Now, if you get it and you open it and you plug it in and it goes and, like, shocks you or catches your hair on, sorry, your head. Wow, damn it. And it's some of my favorite comedy. I guess if you're a hardcore, like, Bram Stoker Dracula fan, you're not going to enjoy it. Like, right? I like Bram Stroker. That's cool.

Bram Stoker. Bram Stoker is some of the best Dracula. Those hardcore Bram Stoker fans are, you know. Brom Stoker. Brom stoker. No, R. Stoker, like Stoker. You know, like Stoker.

I'm a real mean toker. Stoker. Yeah. Anything else you want to mention? I just like the fact that somebody said that Brom Stoker actually wrote Count Jacula. My name is Ned Kelly. I'm here to say,

there's no gold at my rainbow on any other day. You got like a stripe thing you wear. That's Brian peeing, by the way. It's not him pouring coffee. It's pee. Oh, yeah. No, it's me peeing. I'm peeing webs.

Oh, I'm peeing webs. Oh, what? Oh, do you get the power. Have you ever bought anything from Amazon that, like, hurt you or otherwise damage something? Well, my penis stretcher kind of caused some. Oh, that's right. She's forced to pee where she stands.

Just can't leave her spot. I do it voluntarily. I'm peeing right now. Well, I do it, yeah. I mean, we do these long shows, and I have a bladder the size of a fidget cube. So what am I supposed to do? What a weird thing to say it's the size of. I love it.

I just have an apple right here. That's why. What a weird non-sequitur kind of thing to bite. Oh, my gosh. I could not. could not remember what the reference was, but now we know what we were talking. I remember the fidget cube. I didn't remember what it was referring to. Yeah, there you go. Here's the fidget cube, by the way. People want to see it. Yeah, look at that. It's got a little Spider-Man.

There's a little Spider-Man. Fiderman Fiddleman Fidgettube. Well, what does the Fidderman side do for the fidgeting. Anything? Nothing. Oh, it does. It does. Because the whole point of a fidget cube is all sides of the cube have to do business. The switch? The switch side. Did you undock your switch? Here's the roly ball and the clickers. The roly ball and clickers. And the push buttons. My favorite band in the 40s was the roly ball and the clickers. They were great.

Really enjoyed them. Oh, look at that. A d pad? No, not a D pad. Sorry, analog pad. Analog stick. Yeah. I want one.

And then just a side that's got like a little divot, like a little worry stone. And the head starts spinning and then Spider-Man, this is virginity. Sorry to all the ladies in the audience who just watched me do that. Oh, my Lord. I don't want to think about why. All right. Let's move on. Let's move on. Okay, a final word is, by the way, okay, so today I'm sending Brian a list and I, he and I are separate, during our separate time, we'll come back together and say, hey, I like this mug saying as submitted by the Tad Pool. So what I'm going to say is this.

After the show, this list is completely done and we're not taking any more submissions. That means chat room, you all have like a few minutes to get one in. If you haven't done it yet, go to frogpans.com slash mug and help us choose the new mug for the TMS mug, okay? And once you do, me and Brian will suss out these things and come up with the one we like. My Venmo is at Coverville. My PayPal is at Coverville for any bribes. Yeah, briberies. You need to do some bribe bribers. Bribers. So anyway, there you go. Hey, that's it.

Pal.com. Where's that? Where's that website? Bribery pal. That'd be great. You could be a Nigerian Prince every day. That's a great idea. Patreon.com slash TMS is how this show is supported. The lights are kept on by you. Please consider continuing doing that. You get bonus content every day and a whole bonus show every week and a bunch of other stuff you can't get anywhere else. That's at patreon.com slash TMS. Send us your emails the morning stream at gmail.com. All right. We're done. We're done. Got a fun day coming up, Scott. I'm going to a wine tasting this afternoon with Bobby Ann and Barry Folk.

And it should be a lot of fun. Don't breathe anything or touch anything. God, I know. I'm wearing a mask. If I'm not putting wine in my face, I've got a mask on. All right. Be careful. Oh, look at Claire.

God, believe me. Here's my worst fear, Scott, is Tina and I go for our COVID test next week. and mine comes back positive, hers comes back negative. I think I just send her on the trip. I just say, there you go, hon, everything's all paid for. Have fun, knock yourself out. Yeah, that's actually not a horrendous idea if it came to that, but... No, it would be a horrendous idea.

There's no way she'd do it. She'd be sad. You weren't there. You got to be there. I have my, you know, I have my positive or my negative test results in a PDF that I can modify. Modify. No, I'm not going to do that because that means I'm putting people at risk. I wouldn't do that.

That's horrible. Why would you ever? Of course not. Never would do that. Never in a million years. And then that, just a quick final reminder, the free comic book day, King Shark and Pocodot Man business will go up this coming weekend. So keep your eyes on frogpants.com slash store. That's where they'll be.

They'll be 100% free. More on that as we get. Free. All right. That's it. Hey, let's play a song. got a song? Sure, I have a song.

I've got one requested by Pete. Pete says, I've been listening since episode one. I'm completing number 67 trip around the sun this month. Wow, 67. Happy birthday, man. Still trying to figure out why people who eat, why people who eat rice while doing, let me start over here. I'm still, all of a sudden, I've got Scott's eyes.

I'm still trying to figure out why people who eat rice while driving scooters in the clip clop like. this show. I guess I'll just have to keep listening until I do. Oh, that's so many that I'm just going to play this. I'm Scott Fletcher. Nope, I'm going to play this. No, not that. Hold on. Bad gay movies. That's all you're getting. There you go. That's the only one you're getting. So Pete wanted to hear, uh, in your eyes, a cover by Boyce Avenue. In Your Eyes, by the way, the song I have the most covers of in my library. Surprisingly, I didn't have this cover by Boyce Avenue until now. Usually I kind of write off Boyce Avenue because they're very,

stick to the original kind of stuff. However, on this one, they do mix it up a little bit and make it a lot more acoustic. It's a single that they released just now, just this year, just now, just this second. It's Boyce Avenue. Here's their cover of Peter Gabriel's In Your Eyes. See you guys tomorrow. Love I get so lost sometimes days past

and this emptiness fills my heart When I want to run away I'll drive off in my car But whichever way I go I come back to the place you are And all my instincts The very turn

and the grand facade so soon we'll burn without a noise without my pride I reach out from the inside in your eyes the light the heat I have complained I see the doorway

To a thousand churches The resolution Of all the fruitless searches Oh I see the light and the heat Oh I want to be that complete I want to touch the light the heat I see in your eyes Love I don't like to see so much pain

so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away I get so tired working so hard for our survival I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive

and all my instincts they return and the grand facade so soon will burn without a noise without my pride I reach out from the inside oh in your eyes

the light the heat I am complete I see the doorway To a thousand churches The resolution Of all the fruitless surges Oh I see the light and the heat Oh I want to be that complete

I want to touch the light the heat I see in your eyes In your eyes Oh, in your eyes, in your eyes In your eyes Accepting all I've done and said I want to stand and stare again Oh, it's in your eyes

This show is part of the Frog Pants Network Frog Pants Network. Get more shows like this at frogpants.com. Quit being a play, baby.