The Morning Stream - TMS 2299: I'm A Car Shark

Episode Date: June 2, 2022

I need time off for Chode Maintenance. Do Payphones Have Change Because I Like Really Wanted to Know. Taste The Rainbow, puke The Rainbow. Woah, black pudding, bam a lam. All cats are dicks. Why Don't You Just Use A Tennis Racket? Wonderpig has a big ass. Eggs, Fresh from the Butt. it's the final payphone. Toni Braxton Hicks. I'm Five Again And It's Terrible! That's Not and Ace, It's a Club! Littered With Puffins. Journey to Hellhole Road with Amy. Everything But Wendi and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Coming up on TMS, I need time off for Chode Maintenance. Do payphones have changed because I, like, really wanted to know? Taste the rainbow. Puk the rainbow. Whoa, black pudding, bambalam. All cats are dicks. Why don't you just use a tennis racket? Wonder Pig has a big ass.

Eggs fresh from the butt. It's the final pay phone. Doodoo do. Tony Braxton Hicks. I'm five again, and it's terrible. That's not an ace. It's a club. Littered with.

with Puffins. Journey to Hellhole Road with Amy. Everything but windy and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. I just got kicked out of church for saying the devil. What the fuck? I thought we hated that motherfuckers. The Morning Stream. The Morning Stream. Better than a pound of jam in your Pants. Brian Ibbett will have a pound of a kind of jam in his pants when he rides the MS-150. I will, yes. Yeah, that's coming up. What are we, like days?

No. 23 days, three weeks away. So basically, like, three weeks from Saturday. Did I mention I'm not going to be available for a film sack that day? I probably should bring that up. Yeah, we should probably work. out that whatever we're going to do. I'm going to need a day off of a film sack boss. Yep. Yep. You'll be rubbing your, uh, rubbing your chode and, uh, geez. You know, well, I mean, look.

I won't be rubbing it. I'll be applying some goo to it, but, uh. Yeah, but no rubbing. No, no, no rhythmic rubbing of the chode, right? No rhythmic rubbing of the chode. Unless you count, unless you count, uh, six hours of bicycle seat. Yeah, the rubbing you don't want. The rubbing you don't want the rubbing you didn't ask for yes exactly the whole the whole reason you have that butter the rubbing of the bicycle seat finally you'll be warm enough for me to bike outside again today finally after a week of rain and 50 degree temperatures and stuff like that so it's super cold snappy here as well i don't know what's going on something in the intermountain west where we're just like hey remember remember winter how about a little extra winter how about that we even had some flurry snow

the other day, which made no sense. But yeah, it's supposed to warm up here as well. Well, that's good because, you know, got to get all the rides in you can. And we're glad to be here today, everybody. Welcome to the show. It's June 2nd, 2020. It's TMS.

I'm Scott, and that's Brian. And we have a show to do. Hey, a little shorter today, no windy today. Just to note, I've got a meeting I must attend. It makes us have to end a little early. It's not quite half a show, but it's, you know, it's basically a... It's two thirds of a show. I'm sure.

almost a full show. It's everything but Wendy today, right? It's everything but Wendy, exactly. Yeah. Still have you in the middle, still have Amy. Sure. One little segment, you'll all survive, okay? Well, unless you really needed to hear from Wendy. But I promise you to be better.

Even therapists need a break sometime. That's right. We're giving her the week off. All right, I ate a bubble, and I'm a little concerned. Let me tell you how that went down. Okay. yesterday excuse me my voice

my allergies man it's killing me this year a little boy hanging out of the house his name is van he is technically my grandson but it's almost like he's my own kid that's how I feel about him he's just a sweet little turd and I just love him and he's great now he's over his COVID run and the whole family's better now

they're all good Dylan everything still tastes funny to him but other than that they're they're all fine so they came to hang out yesterday and he loves bubbles so we get the big bubble uh you know the big ring a wand yeah right take it outside and just be huge is it the flexible big ring like it's a like you basically have to hold it in two places oh no those are cool though those are those are the best that's those are the ones that produce like the bubbles that you'll never forget this one's a little bit more like it's like you're holding the find edges of a ping pong paddle uh photoshop kind of yeah it's it's it's slightly it's like tennis racetrack packet size, but it's a single, you know, hold it with your hand kind of thing. Why don't you just use a tennis right? Hey, wait a minute. Would that work? You would have a ton of little bubbles.

Absolutely would work, yeah. Interesting. Hmm. Someone's done this. I should find the video. Yeah, it's TikTok, the whole TikTok. Oh, hell yeah. Like, if you're, if you haven't, if this isn't on YouTube or TikTok, then what are we, what are we even doing?

Right. Exactly, yes. So anyway, he's out there with this big bubble maker. And at one point, he makes one so big that it, floats for a good long while and he's super excited about it and i'm not really paying attention at this point i'm i'm back there with the girls kim and the my two daughters and and this thing's just sort of floating and i turn around just in time to be taking in a breath of air a little stuffy in the nose from the from the allergies and i breathe in right as a bubble pops right in my face and

i suck in most of the uh soap material that the bubble is made of and i have to admit i haven't there's something that brought like I don't know how to explain this you know in ratatooie when the guy eats eats at the table he's like the grumpy reviewer guy yeah yeah and all of a sudden he goes he's a little kid again and he remembers oh yeah yeah yeah it's it was like that except I had a it was like I was taken back to being five or six when I ate when I accidentally accidentally ate bubbles or something sure and it was kind of traumatic that flavor like you know exactly what you're talking about like it's a it's an interesting flavor profile but i mean it's one of those things that they say

that um scent and taste are like the two things that that uh can trigger memories yeah and that's i think that's really what it was and it was powerful it was like oh my gosh i'm five again and this is a terrible experience it was weird right because as a five-year-old it's not something that happens accidentally you try it you're like oh my god i want to eat one of those things and you eat it and then realize well that was a really bad idea yeah which is what you know you do that a lot when you're younger because you don't know any better and you know all the way through high school had friends who were crushing and snorting sweet tarts so what did we know we were a dumb generation um but anyway so that happened but it was

it was nice to see the boy oh the worst part though is he spent the day Kim can't say no to him like if he wants treats if he wants gummies he wants snacks he wants whatever not those kind of gummies and people. Kim is like, sure, go for it. And he loves, you know, he loves mainly those fruit snacks. Just loves them. Just could eat fruit snacks all day, which he kind of did

on and off. And I get this text from Taylor this morning. I guess Van is up hurling all night. Not because he doesn't have any kind of bug or anything. He just ate too much. Pute the rainbow. Taste the rainbow. Puked the rainbow. Yeah, taste the rainbow again.

Although this time slightly digested It's way out. Yes. Yeah, poor kid. So he was a hurling fruit snacks. And I said, well, Kim, what do you think of that? She says, well, I'm still not going to say no. It's her job.

She's supposed to spoil him. If he was puking at her house, maybe it would be a different story. But, no, you guys kind of get to load him up and then push him away to the tailors. You're totally right about this. All right. So I have something to share with you because I just think you'd, really dig this. I don't know why I thought of you.

Well, I do know why, because you're, you know, you're a Vegas guy. You like games of chance. There's something about the mystique of it all that attracts Brian and his very brightly colored shirt that he's wearing today. That's right. I found a game. Don't look, Marion.

Don't look directly at it. Yeah, don't look at it, Marion. Shut your eyes. There's a little game just came out today. An indie game, indie title, came out from Digital or from Devolver Digital. They make a lot of great indie. titles and they put out a game today called card shark i put car in the chat and the thing that's card you did that to throw me off because you knew i'd google it to see uh what uh you were gonna spoil

the surprise yeah how smart of me um yeah it's uh it's a it's a it's a game called card shark and it's set in uh chat and i'm playing some video for the chat um it's set in the in in uh old old tiny France like 1800s or something. I already love the look of this. Yeah. And the whole point of the game is not playing cards it's cheating

at cards. So you, your job. When you start, you're a little waiter guy at like a French bistro and there are people in their gambling and drinking and stuff. And they're all wearing their hoity-toity, you know, King Louis looking clothes.

And you know, it's definitely from that era the very unique art style and some shysters in there and sucks you in this is just part of the tutorial he sucks you into being the waiter that kind of only pours a drink

or wipes the table when he's looking at some other players cards across the table and so he'll be over there pouring a drink and you actually literally have to pour a drink glance at this dude's cards over his shoulders see how many of a certain suit. Like if he has prominently diamonds,

then you have to go wipe the table in the pattern that you've both decided means diamonds. Gotcha. Okay. And then the other guy can win the money. So he's, you know, he's just, he's a cheat, and he's cheating everybody. And your job is to help him do that. Now, later on, you become a player yourself

and you learn a bunch of other cheats. And I haven't gotten that far, barely cracked into it. Yeah, I'm seeing, like, shoving cards up your sleeve, and dealing from the bottom of the deck. This is hilarious. It's really, really cool. And the art style and the animation and stuff

is some of the most unique stuff I've seen in years. I really, really dig it. And it's only $16, and it's on Mac and PC. It's very cool. Yeah. So far. It's coming to Switch to Swatch. Swatch.

Oh, perfect. Because you know what? It's best on the controller for sure. Is it really? Oh, okay. As opposed to playing on a desk. You can do mouse and keyboard, no problem. But it's just.

even it even tells you in the beginning we recommend a controller if you can or something so you go in your OC chat he's pouring the wine and you have to be careful because if you overpour you'll cause you'll seem nervous and the other guy will have a suspicion meter that you're cheating you can do this in the old west or something if they wanted to they didn't but that's totally what it could have been is it could have been a cowboy thing yeah yeah right easily it feels like it yeah and I don't even know what game they're playing like it's not even, I don't know if it's poker, at least I'm not far enough to tell, because it doesn't actually matter. It must look like some sort of poker with like how many cards they have and stuff. The, um, all right, I'm seeing if, like the, the Steam version is discounted right now, which is, uh, which is great. Okay, you know what? On, um, on, on Switch, it's only 1999. So it's only three bucks more than the discounted Steam version. And, um, I kind of like that, uh, that, that format, being able to play it on the, uh, on the switch. Yeah, you should. It's very good. I'm super impressed with it. I mean, DeVolver Digital. I don't do this often, Scott, but I'm buying it just based on your recommendation. Just based on you telling me that. Normally, I'd be nervous about that because I don't want to steer any of my friends wrong. Obviously, tastes are different. But in this case, it's just no way you don't like this. There's no way. Yeah. There's no way. Because I like, I like both gambling and cheating. I'm just kidding. It's the first thing I thought of. Man, who do I know?

Who do I hit the most, actually. Yeah, who do I know what? has aces in his pocket right now and they would like to cheat. Oh, that's not an ace. Yeah. Oh, that's a club. That's a club. Let's see.

Yeah, there we go. Okay, it's downloading to my deal right now. Nice. I think you're going to love it. You'll have to tell me when you're done. Yep, I will. I totally will. All right.

We're going to, oh, you know what's fun is reading books. That's what's fun. Oh, I like that. I don't like cheating on reading books. Yeah. Don't cheat. not like reading the books and not cheating on reading. I agree.

And so to help us do that, we're going to bring Amy in, who will help us figure out a way not to cheat as we read our books. That'll happen now. Hey, look who it is. It's Amy Robinson, aka Red Fraggle 3, joins us on Thursdays,

makes book recommendations, and other sort of reading issues before the people. I don't know what I'm saying. Amy, welcome to the show. Good morning. How are you? Reading issues. Reading issues.

You know, reading issue. We all have reading issues and we should read. When you get stuck on the toilet with nothing to read, that's a reading issue. Definitely happens. It's very nice to have you here. It's our reading tissue. Yeah, reading tissue. Welcome back to the show.

We're going to dive right in. I guess you sent me a clip here. Anything you want me to say? Or do you want to say anything before I play it? Yeah, so I actually kind of want to introduce this one a little bit. So yesterday we had kind of a. a big event. As you guys may have noticed

when we were in Vegas, Chuck does not drink. I did notice that. Yes. It's not for the reason that, you know, like you and Kim don't drink just because you don't drink. But Chuck actually

has a problem. And so he decided, he actually got called out by one of our friends for being a little obnoxious at a party. And he was like, okay, that's it. This has become a problem. I don't drink anymore.

And that was in, you know, well, it was a Thanksgiving party. So he stopped drinking December 1st of last year. And so yesterday was his six-month sober anniversary, I guess, six-month-aversary of being sober. Yeah, that's great for him. That's awesome. Yeah. And it's really been great. I mean, he's really, you know, he misses it from time to time.

It's like, in fact, he had a really hard time at the video game place in Vegas because it was like wall full of tap handles and everybody was, you know, just casually having a beer. And he was like, will you ask them if they have some non-alcoholic beer? Because I really want a beer, you know. And thankfully, that place was so impressive. They did. They had not only an alcohol, not a, excuse me, I can't talk either today, Scott. They had not only a selection of non-acoholic beer. They had like six.

Oh, wow. Oh, wow. That's a lot of choices for non-acoholic beer for a place that makes probably a good portion of its money on getting people drunk. No kidding. Right. Yeah. I mean, and there was one there that, you know, we knew and recognized and knew that he liked. So that was cool.

Nice. So, yeah. So I just, you know, in honor of that, that's kind of what today's book is about. And it's actually a book recommendation from Chuck. So it's like by proxy, this is, this is Chuck's recommendation. I'm also in the middle of reading it, but, and it is very good. All right. Yeah.

So, and I will, I will say also real quick, Scott, this, the narrator on this clip is not me. So it's okay. You don't need to freak out. That's right. I'm suspicious every time now. But now that we've had this disclaimer, I feel like we're in safe water. So no worries. All right.

Here we go. Let's play it. now consciously drinking to ease the shame of what I'd done while drinking the night before. The things I did in shared flats were usually not so much bad or dramatic, as stupid and annoying, making a mess when trying to cook drunk late at night, eating flatmates' food as I never had enough of my own. Their alcohol drunk and replaced, drunk and replaced, asking to borrow 10 or 20 pounds to see me over until payday, then going to the off licence, slipping back into my room with a door closed and the window open. I would put a token number of bottles and cans and

recycling, then tie up the rest in carrier bags, and push them into dustbins on the street. I left the house chinking and smelling of stale booze. There were empty bottles in the bottom of my wardrobe, and empty cans lined up along my bedroom skirting board. My behaviour brought tension into the household, unpredictable noise levels, Tuesday night parties with strangers, men I brought home, leaving my handbag outside the front door and possessions trailing up the stairs. These episodes were followed by the depressive shadow of my hungover days in bed. I was always getting into horrible states, but what other people perhaps didn't realize was that I didn't want to get into horrible states. I remember and respect the people who had the

courage to try to talk to me about my drinking. I would nod and cry, but after the breakup I was self-pitying and self-justifying. You're quite right to be worried about me, I'd say. I'm in pain. He left me because of my drinking. So now I was free to drink. Geez. Why is this woman's voice so familiar to me? Should I know who this is?

I don't think so. So that is Amy Lip-Trot, and this is her autobiography. Gee, I wonder if she's got a British last name at all. That sounds like a very... Leptrot. Lip-trot. Yes. Yeah, she's actually from Scotland.

And, yeah, she... The whole... story is essentially she ends up, you know, in London and she's, you know, partying and just drinking to excess and until basically she hits rock bottom

and then returns home to Orkney, which Orkney are the sort of the outer islands on the, on the edge of Scotland. Like you cannot, there's no way to drive to them. You have to take a ferry. And they're, you know, I've

been there. It's middle of Nowhere kind of place, you know, people actually raising sheep and whatnot. So, yeah, like, we went to see this one lady who runs a wool shop out there, and she actually has her own sheep and then spins the wool herself. And, I mean, it's like, it is full on idyllic, you know, nobody for miles kind of place. So she ends up out there. and yeah, and basically gets herself clean and starts really enjoying just being on Orkney where she had been, you know, immersing herself in London partying and culture and things like that.

Did we say the name of the book yet? I don't know if we did. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. It's called The Outrun. Oh, there it is. Okay. I wasn't sure which one I was clicking on here.

I'm looking on Amazon. The Outrun. They've got a brand new one this year. Oh, did she? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Look at that. Yep, she's got the instant by Amy Liptrot as well.

So, yeah, and Chuck's very excited about that. He's like, Amy Liptrot has a new book. I'm like, okay, great, let me finish this one. She has a very alluring accent. I freaking love it. I could listen to that all day. Yeah, she actually talks about her accent in the book because apparently, you know, like I said,

she grew up on the Orkneys and then moved to London and lost a lot of her accent. And so people from London didn't believe that she was from there. And people from Orkney also don't believe that she's from there because her accent just got so weirdly muddled. But I love it. I could listen to her talk all day. Yeah.

But yeah, it's a really interesting story. And you'd almost think it's almost the reverse of what you'd think, great, like, uh, that someone with a problem with depression and drinking and stuff found their way by basically running away and being a hermit. Um, but it's, it's kind of counterintuitive. But if you've ever been to Orkney, you can kind of understand why because that place, the place itself is intoxicating because it's, it's beautiful and there's, there's nothing, there's nothing to distract you. You know, you will be the only, there's single track. roads and, you know, things like that and sheep blocking the road and you just have to kind of

sit there and wait. I mean, it's that kind of place, you know, with, you know, stone, stone walls. Rolling green hills. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. And so, you know, and puffins that invade the island, you know, seasonally and things like that. Wait, what's a puffin.

I don't know what that is. What is that? Oh, they're those little birds. Yeah. They look kind of like a cross between a two can and a penguin. Oh, they're like. They're kind of furry, furry-looking things. When we went to Skellig Michael in Ireland, that Octo from the Force Awakens, we came out just outside of puffin season.

Apparently, that thing is littered with puffins for the few months right before we went out there. And it would have been great. I really wish there would have been some puffins because I've never seen one, I mean, obviously in a zoo, but I've never seen something like that in the wild. It just would have been amazing to see all that. Oh, they got those crazy beaks. Yeah, those are weird. Yeah. It's really funny you say that, Brian, because when Chuck and I went to Scotland a handful of years ago, and we spent some time on Orkney, and he actually booked us with, and this is, I recommend this to anybody. If you're going to go a place like this, you can hire a local. There's usually people who do, you know, tour guides and stuff like that, and that's what they do. Hire a local person to just drive you around all day. And that's what we did. And we got this guy, his name was Kinley. and he drove us around

and we asked about the puffins and he was like those little bastards they're never there when people always want to go see these damn birds and they're never there

it reminds me there's an Alaskan cruise one of the big things they push is hey for 250 bucks you can go whale watching and I talk to some people

who the four times they've gone on this thing they've paid the 250 and no whales just didn't show up. And they can't control it. It's not like you can make the whales be there. But how frustrating. When we go to Alaska or when we do our cruise,

we are not doing the whale thing because I'm not throwing $250 away. That's a big gamble. It's funny you should be able to get a cheaper excursion because I imagine you're going to a port where there's consistently whale appearances. You might be able to pay for a cheaper excursion that's not put up by the cruise cruise ship because we did that in Ketchikan and we saw uh we saw whales oh you did see well but it was but it was like 60 bucks compared to oh jeez that's a lot better okay well we'll look into it i definitely yeah that there's something to be said for if you're traveling to a place like

finding a local person instead of yeah there's there's also something to be said for some of the from some of the cruise excursions themselves can be fun and Also, you don't have to worry about an excursion that was booked through the cruise line. They're not going to leave without you. Whereas if you just kind of get off the boat and do your own thing, they'll leave. I just, I always worry I'm going to end up with like the J. Peterman experience with Kramer behind the wheel of a school bus or something. You know what I mean? Like they're going to say it's one thing, but it's just some guy in a puppet or I don't know what it would be.

But anyway, well, this sounds interesting. I love people's documented journeys through hard things. Yeah, it's really good. And it's also, she does a lot of really rich descriptions of Orkney, which I think that's one reason why my husband likes this book so much, is because it kind of transports him because he loves Scotland. So, but it is. She has like these gorgeous descriptions of things. And she talks about how in summer it never really gets dark.

it just gets dim if you're up in Orkney So I've a really funny story About when we went to Orkney If you guys, if we have time You totally have time, yeah Okay So when we went

We traveled all around Scotland We did like a Something like two or three weeks We spent We went to Glasgow We went to You know, the Orkneys We went to

Ila We went to Edinburgh All over the place Yeah And so when we We took the first over to mainland Orkney, which that makes it sound like it's part of mainland Scotland, but it's not. It's just the biggest island in the Orkneys, which is, it's also just a rock in the middle of the ocean.

There's nothing. But we stayed at this wonderful bed and breakfast that was actually a farm. And I should mention the rental car we had, they gave us a Fiat 500, which if you don't know what those are, it's like, it's huge for a car in the UK. and it was just the two of us. And people asked us, they were like, I mean, it's like, it's basically if you took an SUV and like, it's a, it's a big station wagon, basically. Yeah. And you hear, you hear Fiat. Someone says Fiat and you go, oh, Fiat, that's a little tiny French car.

A little tiny. Yeah. Yeah. No, the Fiat 500 is she's, she got a big ass. So, um, anyway, we called her Wonder Pig because that was kind of what the license plate spelled. But anyway, I like what these look like. These are cool. I would drive one.

Yeah, I mean, it was a great little car. Yeah, but not when you're driving on the wrong side of the road in a country that's known for having very narrow lanes. Single track roads where you have to like pull over. If there's a truck, you have to pull over and pray. Oh, my God. So, yeah. And one of our friends that lives over there, he asked us, like, why did you guys get such a big car? We're like, I guess we.

We were American, so they gave us the big car. I don't know. Like, we didn't ask for it. That's just what they gave us. So anyway, so we go to Orkney and we figure, okay, it's a tiny island. Let's just go out and explore. You know, we can just drive around. I mean, how hard can it be?

We're not going to get lost or anything. It's a tiny island. So we go and we drive into the little section of town where there's a pub and there's some shops and things. and my first clue should have been the fact that I told my husband to turn right and the signpost called it hellhole road that should have been my first red flag but I was we were all

oh no we're having an adventure let's go so we're driving down this road and then all of a sudden there's just no more road there wasn't a sign that said dead end or anything and when I say that I don't mean that like you know there was a cul-de-sac or anything thing like that. It was like a wall, a stone wall on one side, a building on the other side. And then it turned into a sidewalk with a handrail and everything. It was just no more road. And so we were

like, okay, what do we do? And so I said, okay, well, I guess just reverse until we can figure out how to, you know, do like a 16 point turn and get us out of here. So we try doing that. And then we're getting really again this car is way too big for this space long story short too late we got we got the car stuck in between the wall and the building and and i was like i we had done the thing where i got out of the car while chuck was maneuvering it back and forth you know and and i'm like telling him okay you can move a little bit okay no you can't move a little bit and then finally he's looking at me and going what should i do and i do and i I said, I have no idea. Your bumper's literally touching on both sides.

Oh, my God. Wow. Do they insure against that? Like, do you take it back for the rental and go, yeah, these scratches on the side, they were already there? Like, what'd you do? What'd you say? Oh, okay. So here's the really fun part. I am freaking out because I'm like, oh, my God, how are we even going to get out of this? And then we had a cell phone. So we called the lady at the bed and breakfast. And we told her what had happened. And we were asking if there was a tow truck or something. And she said, no, we. We don't have a tow service on the island. We just use a tractor. And I was like, oh, my God, there's no way. You're not going to get a tractor down here. So she, her husband, the farmer, she says, okay, well, I'll ask Robbie when he gets back, you know, just he's out feeding the calves right now. But when he comes back, I'll send him up there.

And, of course, it starts to rain. Somebody comes, a dude just walking down the street comes walking down and looks at us. And I'm like, I'm sorry. we're dumb and we're stuck here you're welcome to go through our car if you want and he's like no that's okay I'll just go around

so Robbie shows up and looks at it and is like well you did well getting it that far and so he brings a jack and it was like one of those rolling jacks like they have at NASCAR races and stuff you know and he brings one of those

and just jacks it up and we just shove it over That's how we got it unstuck. And the punchline is, to answer your question, Scott, when I looked at, you know, they give you the little manifest for the car when you rent a car and it tells you where there's already damage or whatever. The back bumper was already scratched when we got it. Nice. Okay. And it said that.

That's kind of carte blanche to do whatever you want to the back. Right? Right. And so, yeah, we, and when we returned the car, the rental. place. They never said anything, never charged us any extra or anything like that. So we completely got away with it. But yeah, I'll send you, I'll send you the picture. Chuck is in the chat right now saying, yeah, there's a picture. It's, it's amazing. Like, you can see that this car is completely wedged in there. It looks like I photoshopped it in there. It's hilarious. That's great. So yeah,

that was our little, our little adventure on mainland Orkney. Nice. Nice. Well, I, uh, I've, I'm, I'm more interested in the book because of your description yeah yeah yeah it's great and orkney is a wonderful place to go and visit if you just want to not exist for a while you know if you just want to everything yeah yeah yeah it's great um i mean and there's internet out there but it's pretty slow and um but you know it's it at this place that we stayed the farm we stayed at they she served as giant humongous full english breakfast full Scottish breakfast and like with eggs that had come out of the chicken's butt that morning, you know, kind of thing.

Awesome. Oh, my gosh. I'm just visualizing the sausages and the fried tomato and, oh, my God, that all sounds so good right now. I want that right this freaking second. My gosh. Do they have the black pudding or the, or the haggis, you know, the sheet parts? There was, there was haggis.

I never got up the courage to try haggis. I just couldn't, I just couldn't do it. But Chuck had some, yeah, but yeah, there was haggis. And I don't remember Zoe's asking if there was black pudding. I don't remember if there was black pudding or not because I, that would not be. You wouldn't have partaken in the black pudding because I'm a chicken. Zoe, Zoe wanted to correct Brian. Brian at one point said driving on the wrong side of the road, which I know what he meant.

But then she quickly said, not the wrong side, the left side, she says. Well, actually, not even that. it's a single track road so you have you're driving on both sides there is no side of the road yeah you're driving on the road yeah oh i hate those stress me out so bad where you just don't know if you're going to be able to get around somebody i hate that oh i hate that feeling plus in europe they were all nobody who ever had the forethought to double a in anything back then they were just like nah we'll work it out these two horses and carriages oh we'll just get the horses around each other yeah exactly that hell some bad forethought on the on our

British heritage. Well, anyway, go check it out. It is called The Outrun, a memoir, and is available now on Kindle, audio book, hardcover, paperback, all that stuff, audio, CD, whatever your flavor of choices by Amy Lipptrot. Is it Trout or Trot? Lipp Trot. Lipp Trot. Lipp Trot.

Yep, it's an amazing name and quite a good book, according to all these reviews, plus what you said. I think it sounds like a real good read. Amy, anything else you want to tell people? Yes. So we are firming up details for this Asheville meetup. It's going to be the weekend of September 10th in Asheville, North Carolina. So if you haven't already filled out the survey, please do.

It's been posted to all the places. But we'll post it again for anybody who needs it. And there we go. Chuck just threw it in the chat there. So yeah, go fill out your stuff. survey let us know because we're we're looking to book a place to stay pretty soon so so you're going to throw everybody all together like one big Airbnb or something right yeah yeah that's the plan sounds awesome you guys are you guys are cool uh I was so the other day I said to Kim I said hey

did you know about this and I pointed it out and when it was she goes oh we should go and I said we should except we'll be on a boat that day she's like oh right so you're going to be that's the same time as your cruise yeah it's the same time as my trip to the D23 Expo. Yeah, we're all. All of us are effed. Perfectly time for TMS, poorly timed for the meetup. Yeah.

Yeah. But I'm really excited to see how you guys do and how much fun you're going to have. It's going to be great to hear about it. Yeah, we got done away to commit to coming. So we will have a done away. And we're, yeah, we're reaching out to Dan, the tabletop man. We're going to have lots of gaming. We're going to go to the Retrocade in Asheville.

We'll come to 2.0. Scott and I'll be there for 2.0. Yeah, whatever 2.0. I know is, let's make it happen. That sounds like a lot of fun. Plus, I've never been to that. Asheville. Ashville. It's pretty. It's nice.

Yeah. And there's lots of really good food. Ashton Times, if I remember correctly. I was going to ask if you did a paper there. Yeah. That's good. I'm going to double check it. Asheville.

I'm going to see if I have it right. That's one I remember very distinctly. It's better than the picky. No, what's the New Orleans one? Asheville Citizen Times. Sure enough. Nice. Nice.

Brian has had his hand. all over those people. All right. Well, there you have it. Hey, Amy, we'll look forward to seeing you next week. And as we get closer to the event, we'll make sure we give as many people as much heads up as possible. Have a fantastic week.

We'll see you next time. Bye. Bye, bye, yeah. Bye. Bye, all right, we're going to take a break right here when we come back. We're going to do the morning news and finish some stuff up there. But before that, a quick song break that Brian has. What do you got there?

Big thanks to earshot media for this one. This is a band called Pretty Killer. They're from Worcester Mass. And they've got a brand new single called Blossom. It's also featuring some guest appearances by Kellynne Quinn and Monty Zahn. This is great. This is they locked themselves in a Vermont cabin near the Canadian border to come up with this song. Grunge pop, new punk.

Anyway, it's really, really good. Blossom by Pretty Killer. And I'm your pony boy And I'm still riding Told you stay cold And you're still shining I'm all the outside But I want to be home with you

Kisses on my scars There's distance Not too far I'm all in any folding I got you You're golden There's something so familiar In the way I break down

I try to keep it moving with my feet stuck on the ground I put my record on let the headphones play Take me to a place where I feel no pain Okay, I'm looking out my window to a beautiful day And now I'm still alive, guess that's more than I can say Let this guitar play and take you away Let go with the trauma, keep that smile on your face I'm still riding

Told you stay gold and you're still shining I'm on the outside But I want to be home with you I want to be home with you And I know it's messed up That things are so messed up But we'll make the best of Just keeping our heads off

I'm all enabled I caught you You're good dead We sit and watch The cars drive by Long conversations and longer nights I'll always be here by your side no matter what happens on this ride

I'm your pony boy And I'm still riding I told you stay gold And you're still shining I'm on the outside But I want to be home with you I want to be home with you I'm your pony boy

And I'm still riding Told you stay golden You're still shining I'm on the outside But I want to be home with you Kisses on my scars, there's distance not too far. I'm all in a folding. I got you, you're golden.

Did you know that if you eat well and you exercise and you sleep well and drink a lot of water, you still die? The morning stream. That's my safety word. All right, we're back, everybody. Hey, Brian, who is that again? That is the band Pretty Killer featuring Kellen Quinn and Monty Zahn and a song called Blossom. Fan, Tastic. All right. Yeah.

Well, we've returned. That means it's time for a little bit of this stuff here. Yeah, that's right. It's the morning news, and it's brought to you by. It's part to by Coverville today featuring the music of Charles Negron the 2nd, who's turning 80 this week or early next week. You're saying, who is Charles Negron the 2nd? Well, he's also known as Chuck Negron, and he's also one of the dogs in Three Dog Night. Yeah, it's a band with three lead singers, so they called themselves Three Dog Night.

So covers of a band that's known for doing a lot of covers. A lot of the songs that you love by Three Dog Night are actually covers of other people. like joy to the world. And let me pull up some other ones here. And not joy to, not that one. Joy to the world. All the boys and girls. Exactly.

Shambola, black and white, Mama told me not to come, never been to Spain. All of these are songs that were originally done by other people. But they turned them into massive hits. And so we're going to hear some other versions of those songs that they also covered. Plus some songs that they did originally

and some covers that they did of lesser-known or songs that weren't big hits for them that they did covers of. So all of that coming up today, I believe normal time, 1 p.m. Mountain Time, Twitch.tv.tv. That gives me time to see if I can figure out

the Marvel Snap streaming. And if I don't stream Marvel Snap, then I'll probably stream this new Card Shark thing. Oh yeah, you should. That people would love watching that. It's got story to it, but it's all done in text. It's not like you have to hear it.

Cool. Yeah, as far as I know. I don't think there's been any voice yet, but anyway, I'm so excited for you to play that. Yeah, so check it out. 1 p.m. today, live Coverville at Twitch.com. At Twitch.tv.combe, all right. Exactly. End of an era, everybody.

Let's celebrate for a moment. The removal. I don't know if we should celebrate it. I don't know. Sad for some people. I don't know. But the very last pay phone in New York City, public payphone, moved. Sounds like a Paul Simon song.

It's the last pay phone in New York City. It kind of does. Let's bring him out of semi-retirement and make him do that song. Exactly, yeah. It's an end of an era. This is the final one of these is being removed. The neighbors are so glad that the constant random ringing of that last pay phone will finally stop. Yep, it'll finally stop.

And no more, you know, somebody down there trying to, avoid police and then they got to trace them and they'd only had a minute to do it and then they barely missed it because the guy hung up all those tropes they're all gone now

where was Superman change though says here oh yeah good point right that's his whole deal with the advent of cell phones the pay phones across the world have vanished but one remained on 7th Avenue

until it's removal on Monday by Link New York City whichever whatever that is the removal of the pay phone in New York began in 2015 that's when they started to remove them

They link NYC is the technology that essentially replace them. It's like, I guess, digital billboards that offer free Wi-Fi on the street. So you have a communication. These are communication hubs that replaced cell phones, or sorry, pay phones, but they're there to give you, you know, Wi-Fi to whatever device you're using. So anyway, since they installed that, it facilitated over 3 billion Wi-Fi sessions and more than 10 million subscribers. the digital billboards also display PSAs.

I'm going to interrupt you. This apparently, Corina Snopes.com, big thanks to Taxicab, is fake. What? CBSNews.com. This isn't some fake site. And even the NYC Office of Technology and Innovation said, proud to bid farewell to New York City's last payphone. However, let's see here, the removed Times Square pay phones are not even close to being the last ones remaining in New York. City on TikTok one user commented this is not true there are many still in New York City

another person responded there's a pay phone on the upper west side weird okay why do they say these of the why why because they forgot about those other ones CBS the communication department of New York City kind of forgot that there were these other pay phones and these other all right so they went through the the schmoo of acting like it was a big deal because they had like a crowd around it and all that yeah like a cutting of the do they did instead of a ribbon cutting Do they cut the cord that connects the receiver to the... Oh, that'd be great, right? Just like snippet.

It would be great. Like giant scissors. Yeah. Well, all right. So it's not the last one. It's the last one, 7th Avenue. How about that? There you go. Yeah.

Last one in Times Square. And you know what? That's something because those are probably gross. Covered with gross. I couldn't tell you the last time I saw one. I can't think of one. I've seen a phone. Yeah.

One of those. Not alone you're using one. I'm trying to think the last time I may have used a pay phone. Oh, it's been like. like 20 plus years for me. Yeah. Something like that. Like early, late 90s.

Probably was in Nashville, North Carolina. Like probably at one of these, you know, installations and I come back to the airport. I'm like, oh, my trio 650 is dead. I'll use a pay phone to call Tina and let her know I'm flying back. Yeah. Yeah. Or when I had, you know, we all had a pager era where we all had pages for a hot minute. And you had to go to some phone and call the pager and find out what the hell happened.

Right. That's back when we had long-distance charges. What were we doing? Yes, oh, my gosh. What a, what a racket. Everything was a racket back then. Still is. Oh, yeah.

Don't worry. We still have rackets. Plenty of rackets, but some of these, they just blow my mind that they ever got away with it. Like, long-distance phone calls as if you had to do shit to do anything to take it further on the copper. It's so stupid. Out of the country, I get it. There's a lot of stuff involved. Sure, sure.

Makes sense. A lot of things. state, like me calling somebody in Idaho, freaking F off. That's stupid. Why was that ever a thing? The other thing that was dumb is when text messaging started, they charged you per text. Yeah. Yeah. Or per care. I'm sorry, it was a character limit or something. Oh, really? I mean, you still get those, you know, your messaging rates may apply or something like that. You know, you still get those. Yeah, everyone still says that even though most don't, I don't think anyone charges that.

I don't know who, if there's any cell phone company that's still charging for texting man so bad like what are we doing but honestly i think the next domino and that thing to fall and it's already kind of falling in a lot of places is any kind of bandwidth limits like like bandwidth caps from isps that is a version of that it's a total joke total racket total BS quit doing it yeah all it's going to take is like the first one saying no we're we're getting we're doing away with that because that's what that's what does that is companies trying to be competitive with each other otherwise You know, they're all just getting together and saying, hey, you know what?

We figured out we can charge them for having a number nine on their phone. What do you think of that? Let's charge them for having a number nine. Yeah, let's do it, Bill. Freaking hate it. I understand. We live in a, you know, a profitable society. Everybody's got to figure out their angle, but freaking knock it off.

I hate it. Yeah. All right, here's a story. Okay. A man disguised as an old woman. Attacked Mona Lisa with a cake. I saw the video for the... I think we all saw the video for this.

Holy crap. I have not seen the video for this yet. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. There must be on this link. He does, and then he turns to the camera and says, fight the real enemy. Oh.

Well, what... He says, this is something just as stupid. He says, think about the planet. Really? So this is him doing one of those deals. All right, so this is in the Louvre, in Paris. This part I knew. Yesterday, May 29th or...

Yesterday, a couple days ago. Uh, man disguised as, uh, as a woman, a smeared cake all over the Mona Lisa. And, uh, one Twitter user wrote a man dressed as an old lady, jumped out of a wheelchair and attempted to smash the bulletproof glass of the Mona Lisa before smearing cake on the glass. Um, it's important to note those things are protected. They don't, you know, you can't just break them. Yeah. They are now. Uh, there was like a janitor, you know, uh, 20 years ago who took the Mona Lisa home for a while. Like some, some sort of inside job deal. Yeah. I forgot about that guy. Whatever happened to him, jail, I assume. I'm sure, yeah.

He's French jail. French jail. No, cheese or baguettes for you. No, or maybe it's only cheese and baguettes. Maybe it's only cheese and baguettes. That's all he gets eaten in that place. Let's see. The man who identity had not been confirmed claims to be an environmental protesters.

Brian said he yelled this stuff. Quote, think about the earth. There are people who are destroying the earth. Think about that. All the artists tell you to think about the earth. All the artists think about the Earth. That's why I did this. Think about the planet, shouted the disguised man as he was escorted out of the museum.

Okay. All right. He needs a couple more lines. He needs a little more repertoire to that stuff. Yeah, exactly. Like, did you, maybe, I don't know, write it down on your arm if you need some more notes. Yeah. It's just a little, some cliff note, cliff notes?

No. What's the word I'm looking for? Crim notes. Craming or. Is it crib notes? Crib notes, crib sheets? Oh, crib notes. It's crib notes, yes.

Crib notes. Crib notes. Crib notes. That sounds weird. Cribbing. Someone in the chat says it doesn't matter because they keep these paintings somewhere else in a vault. These are fakes. Is that true?

I don't know. Would they tell us? It feels like that does feel like something that people would assume and make up the story for. Oh, yeah. That's a fun conspiracy. I'm just saying, is it true? I mean, how would you know? Maybe that's why it's a conspiracy because nobody knows.

The Illuminati. have all of these things in their basement. Yeah, that's how they, that's, that's, that's when you know you've hit, I'm not talking about the Dr. Strange Illuminati. I'm talking about the, uh, no, no, no, but when you, you know you've hit Illuminati level when suddenly they give you a famous old painting and you have to put it in your house. That's right.

Yeah. That's right. And you still haven't seen Dr. Strange in the, no, multiverse. When that, as soon as I hits Disney Plus, I'm in. Okay. You got me there. I'll watch that movie, for sure. I am keeping up episode to episode with, uh, with the, uh,

The Obi-One. The Obi-1. Although, we didn't have time last night, but today, I'm going to watch it. So, so really, you just watched the first two episodes that dropped last week. Yeah. So I'm going to, my goal is I don't want to see, I don't want to have them stack. I'm going to try to catch them before the next one comes out. We actually, we watched all three of the first episodes last night, just back to back to back.

And dang, it's good. It is, so, it's so not what I was expecting. I really, well, I'm not going to say, you know, in case people haven't watched it. But I really, I really. thought that we were going to be following another direction with him.

I did too. I didn't expect even from the first team. It makes complete and total sense because of things that are said in a new hope. These modern Star Wars writers

though, you know what they sure like? They like a grizzled crusty old guy walking around the universe and they like to have a little baby version of something with them.

You know? Yes. I'm not saying it's bad. They have a little baby version of something that the little baby version has as well, which is really nice. Yeah, there's always a little object that the little baby something's obsessed with. I need to print that, by the way. I need to really quickly get that one together. Yeah, get that one out.

And I'm not even saying this is a problem. I'm just saying some similarities exist. Sure, sure. That's all. You need a little acute sidekick is what every Disney Plus show has. Yeah. It's a, you know, it's a boy and his dog kind of deal. It's what's going on here.

All right. Let's see. Oh, it's, geez, it's time. So I'll save these other two stories for later. There's one of these I can't wait to do on Monday. Or no, yeah, Monday. Okay, so we're done with news. Real quick here. We have a PM tomorrow.

I don't know if Dan's here or not. We're going to find out. Oh, I've got a game. I've got App Slapy to do if we don't. Yeah, same. I'll do a bigger report on this whole Diablo Immortal thing if Dan's not here. If he is here, well, of course, we'll have Dan. so we'll see how that goes.

So, yeah, tomorrow at 2 p.m. Mountain, 2 or 2.30? What do we do? 2. We do 2. Right? It's 2, isn't it? Yes, yes. We do 2 because then I do guess the connection at 3.30 right after.

Oh, that's right. Okay. So 2 o'clock tomorrow, PM edition. It's been a while, folks. It's been a while. It's for patrons only, so just make sure you check it out. One quick final thing, got a complaint to register for a listener. This is from Braxton.

He sent this in... Does he not like the way I've named something? Yeah, he doesn't like any of that. And it's your shirt is the big problem. Just kidding. Sure, let him complain about that. I can't hear him over it. So whatever.

Yeah. Here's his theme for that. He says, I don't... This is Braxton. It says, I don't appreciate the sudden change in music for Dunaway's intro for the Monday and Wednesday game shows. Please correct this ASAP. No, here's why I took it out and changed it. I didn't say,

earlier why but here's why i started getting takedowns from youtube because it's a song that well it's not even the whole song it's a piece of a song that's very popular and you know people get weird uh it's uh it's actually a piece of two songs that's very popular it's uh Perez Prado and uh whoever that uh mombo number five that guy who whatever that guy's name either but yeah as a result i was starting to lubega lu baga that's it so i was getting all these like threatening like takedown notices and stuff because youtube's weird And so I went with something that I made sure was 100% copyright-free, which is this thing. Which is totally fine. It works fine.

It's exactly what they played to get Elvis to come up on stage. That's right. His fat ears. Oh, they're the best. Best years. Anyway, so there you go, Braxton. That's your answer. And I wish your last name was Hicks. Or Hicks. So you'd be Braxton Hicks. I think that'd be great. Yes, I get that. Yeah. You get that a reference there that I made there.

Glad you explained. Yeah. The best jokes are always one you have to explain. Yeah, they're the best jokes. Like, if you explain them, you've obviously, you've won comedy. You're comedy legend. All right, that's it. I wish that he had a pre-name called Tony,

because then he'd be Tony Braxton. Oh, I see. See, that's pretty good. See, Tony Braxton. It's not bad. Like Tony Braxton, the singer. So you have to explain it. Yeah, Tony Braxton the singer, yes.

Yeah, or else the joke doesn't work. All right. That's it, everybody. Thanks for being here. Patreon.com slash TMS. how you can support our show. It's a brand new month, so it's a perfect time to hop in. I'm about to submit some brand new artwork for the month, and when I do that, I always think if you find folks at home. So if you want to collect all of that, or just get in on one of the

other levels, it's super cheap. As low as a buck a month, you can get in and be a part of it. That is patreon.com slash TMS. Frogpants.com slash TMS for everything else. We're going to play a final song now and leave you. Brian, what is it? Yes, we are playing a song, and it's going out to Corinna. She says, hi, Spaghetti and Bolognese. I'm emailing from the sunny beaches of Manitoba, Canada. Whoa.

Hit the button. Hit the button. Oh, Canada. There it is. There you go. I've been listening since the instant start, along with my brother-in-law Jordan. He is a cop, and his birthday is on June 2nd. He's too macho to admit that his favorite song is Taylor Swift, shake it off. Brian, can you please play a cover of his most absolutely favorite song of all time?

Boy, this is starting to sound sarcastic. Scott, can I get a Flamingo Obi-1 Canobi? Oh, well, first you can get this. I would say, do you. Okay, that's for your brother-in-law. Your officer brother. Yeah, yeah. And then what was, you said, Obi, what was it?

Flamingo Obi-1 Canobi. I guess it's Van Clip. I don't know what the flamingo part is. We have him just saying Obi-1-Kinobi. Oh, I know what it is. Okay, so here's the Obi-1-Kinobi. Okay, so here's the Obi-1-Kobi. And then Flamingo, I think, is him swearing.

Let me make sure that's what I think this is. Yeah, here we go. What the fuck. I'll just play. That's all I got. He used to be able to say, he used to be, couldn't save Flamingo without saying the F word, but that's all, I don't have any recordings of it. So, so dang cute.

Happy birthday, Jordan, from your favorite sister-in-law, as we say in Canada. Peace out. Peace out. Peace out. Love it. Sure. Shake it off. Okay. I could play a cover of Shake It Off. I was singing it yesterday because I had been spending the morning looking for just the right cover of the song to play on TMS.

And I think I found it. How about a Humpa Humpa version? Yes, a Norwegian what do they call that? Humpa Humpa music. It's kind of like polka polka music, lots of horns and stuff. I hope it's called Humpa Humpa.

It's called Humpa Humpa music. This comes from, this is a band called the Hemaita Dimmish. Hemma, Himitamish, Hymish, Mailed it, I'm sure. Let's call it that. This is from their 2019 album, Circus, Obercrain, and listen, somebody, I can't remember who it was. Somebody let me know about this band, and I immediately paid for all of their albums, which you can't get on street. and I had to buy them and have them shipped from Norway. Wow.

Because they're so good. Wow. Yes, all covers, all fantastic. Here you go. Here's their cover of Taylor Swift's. Shake it off. To you guys on PM for the rest of you on Monday. I'll stay up too late,

kept nothing in my brain That's what people say That's what people say I go on too many dates but I can make them stay At least that's what people say That's what people say But I keep bruising

Can't stop once I'm moving It's like I got this music In my mind saying it's gonna be alright Because the player's gonna play, play, play, play, The player's gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hey, hey, I'm just gonna say, shake, shake, shake a off, a shake a oh, oh. It's gonna break, break, break, break, break, break, break, break.

I think it's gonna bake, bake, bake, fake. I'm just gonna say, shake, shake, shake, shake. A shake a off, I shake a off. A little is the beat. I'm lightning on my feet, and that's what they don't see. That's what they don't see. I go dancing on my own I make the moves

as I go and that's what they don't know that's what they don't know but I keep cruising I can't stop once I'm moving it's like I got this music in my mind saying it's gonna be alright because the player's gonna play

pay pay pay pay pay Pain is gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake. Shake it all, shake it all. The bridge is gonna break, break, break, break, break, break. I think it's gonna bake, bake, fake, fake, fake. I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake it up, shake it all. Hey, hey, shake her all, ah, ah, ah, shaker off, a shaker all, ah, ah, ah, shaker oh, ah, shaker oh, ah, shaker oh, ah, shook a oh, ah, shook a oh.

Hey, hey, hey, just think, while you've been getting down and out about the liars and the dirty, dirty cheats of the world, you could have been getting down to this sick beat. My ex-man brought his new girlfriend, she's like, oh my God, I'm just going to. shaking to the fella over there with a hell of good hell won't you come over baby we could shake a shake a shake a shake yeah because the prayer's gonna take, break, break, and the leader's gonna be it and I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake a shake it up, shake it's gonna break, break, break,

oh a break, just gonna breathe, it's gonna break, it's gonna break, it's gonna break, it's gonna break, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake it out. I shake it out. Shake it off, shake it off, oh, oh, oh. I shake it up, shake it up, and shake it up, yeah. Oh, shake it up, oh, oh.

Shake it up, shake it up, I'm shake it up, and shake it up, oh, yeah. Shake her off, I'll shake it up, shake it up, shake it up, shake it up. Shake it up, shake it up, shake it up, shake it up, shake it up, shake it up, shake it up, shake it up, shake it up, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake. Break is going to break, break, break, break, bake, Yeah, I think it's going to fake, bake, big, bake, then I'm just going to shake, shake, shake, shake update. Shake a all, shake a up, ah, ah, ah, ah.

Shake a up, shook it up, uh, ah, ha, ah ah, kinda a shake it up, shake her up, uh, ah, uh, shake it off, shaking up. Shake her up, shake it all. This show is part of the Frog Pants Network. Frog Pants Network. Get more shows like this at frogpants.com. Don't care about no bandage wrapped money. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.