The Morning Stream - TMS 2344: Snoop Lore

Episode Date: September 8, 2022

Don't Show Me Your EULA. My only expertise is that I have also seen The Crown. Fetch me the body wipes. Melted Down Gummy Patty. D23... Dice or Die. No Buttcracks at Target. Stimulus Bidet. Two American men talk about the queen of England. Scooch over to your little digital hole. There are many different mushrooms you can eat. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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That's BOMBAS.com and use code audio at checkout. Coming up on TMS, don't show me your Yula. My only expertise is that I have also seen the crown. Fetch me the body wipes. Melted down gummy paddy. D-23, dice or die. No butt cracks at Target. Stimulus bidet.

Two American men talk about the Queen of England. Scoot over to your little digital hole. There are many different mushrooms you can eat. Therapy Thursday and more on this episode of the morning stream. in the mud. I'm brown, fat, and ugly, but I would still find a husband. Good morning, everyone. Welcome back to TMS. It's the morning stream for September 8th, 2022. I'm Scott Johnson, joined today by guest host and TMS regular Bobby Frankenberger. Bobby, Hey, what's going on? Hello, I'm here. I've been practicing doing my stretches and, and drills.

Good. You got the paperwork. You filled it all out. You signed all the, uh, this, the, uh, not disclaimers, what's the word I'm looking for. All our end user license agreements to be a co-host on the show. Yula. Yeah, our Yula. And, well, you don't want to ever see anybody's Yula. It sounds dirty, doesn't it? Don't show me your Yula.

Sounds like a Yuvula. It does. You know, Bobby from, of course, our Tuesday edition of the show where he comes and talks about science stuff. Well, now you get to hear him talk about everything else. Isn't it your first time of the rodeo? He did this not long ago. He came and guest host. Yeah. This is my third time.

Just hosting. Damn, really? I would have said second. I don't remember the first. When was the first? Well, the first one was maybe second and a half because the first one was, it was sort of a short episode. You did like a half episode. Oh, right.

It was when Brian was in Disney land. Well, he's there again. Well, he's on his way there. So he's probably in the airport right now, but he is on his way to Anaheim for D23. 22? Whatever it is. I think 23 is what they say, because it's for like the next year. 23. It's like a special club, isn't it? Yeah, D23 sounds like a, I don't know, it sounds like a cell in a prison or something, but it sounds like an impossible to make dice. There you go. Or die, sure. I wanted to say die, but it didn't. I don't like that word. I don't like that word either. Plus, it reminds me a princess die, which reminds me of the queen might be dying today. And we got to, you know, today? What happened? So she's, she's surrounded by doctors and family, which usually,

is portends bad news uh recently uh the queen went through covid a back injury some other stuff she's 96 so my guess is this could be uh you know we could be down the path here a little bit unlike a lot of americans i will not shit post on the queen even though it is kind of by tradition it's the american thing to do since we kind of gave them the bird in 1776 and got the h out. By tradition. We're traditionally dixed. It's been a while. It has been a while. I don't know if Zoe's in here today. I love her take. But yeah, we, you know, she's, she's been around for a long ass time. And I think she's kind of, I think she's kind of great. Like, I'm not, I don't care about monarchy. I don't care about royal this or that. Do not care at all. I don't

follow it. I don't have any, I don't, I don't think these people are any better than anyone else. However, I think given their, the tradition that they maintain and continue to prop up despite there being no real power in the monarchy anymore, all of that aside, I think she's a really nice lady who's tried to overall do nice things to be okay, you know, and not some, you know, raggedy silver spoon filled mouth sitting around. there going, fetch me my body wipes or whatever she does. I don't know what she does. Fetch me my body wipes. Yeah. That's what you do. But you know what I'm saying? Like I don't, I get the feeling and maybe it's because I've seen that, what's the show called? The Crown. The Crown. And so you get that part of her life. I've seen that movie that the Queen back in 2006, fantastic movie. And that's really all I have other than her public appearances and just her genteel seeming, whatever.

Whereas her son, Big Air McGee, just seems like a total chode. Her kids seem fine. They seem fine. But whatever. They don't have the kind of perspective, I think, regular people have on the world. She just always sort of seemed, you know,

to deal with it nicely. Phillips seemed like a complete penis man. I didn't like him at all. So the queen... From my perspective, as not a historian who does not study, any of this and just my only expertise is that I

have also seen the crown but from my expert opinion she became queen at a time when lots of changes were happening and it was weird the whole institution is weird to begin with and how do you grapple with that

and it seemed like as portrayed in that piece of entertainment super accurate historical documentary that that she's tried to make the appropriate changes as society itself is changing. I don't know, what are you going to do? Yeah, I feel like that too.

You know, you're going through World War. Really, her era is World War II, just prior to that, and then World War II, and then forward. I can't imagine in modern history a more formidable time, right? Yeah. Just a change and of technology. and the Industrial Revolution and turning into what it turned into and all that. I don't know. I think she did okay for somebody who's, you know, in a position of mostly knighting people

and bowing properly and, you know, doing whatever they do over there. But anyway, Godspeed, everybody involved. Hopefully she can, you think they'll ever happen. Okay, let's say the queen suddenly just zeroes out, all right? She's laying there. Yeah. Just p. She does like the turkey and Christmas vacation.

She just lets it go. And then they, do you think that given her status, do you think the doctors there go, clear, p'gook, and do like the whole thing? The, what do you call those? The electric chest units? The fibrillators? Do you think they throw those on the queen and let rip?

Or no? Do you think they just let her? Certain specific situations have to occur in order for those to even be useful. So I don't imagine if she's, if she's slowly passing on her bed, as you described, that they're going to be doing that, but you know, they probably have plans. Who knows what the...

Like, this isn't going to happen without everyone knowing what their role is to play. Yeah. Do you think anyone will... A doctor will, they'll work on it for a while, and they'll defib three or four times. Claire, okay, keep pushing and, you know, doing all the things you do. And then eventually one of them will go,

stop! We're done... This is, we can't... She can't take any more of this. And he goes, ah, and looks at the clock and says, time of death something something whatever p.m. Yeah, George Clooney will come in and

yeah and do whatever George Clooney did on that ER show. Yeah. That's all I know about ER is that George Clooney was on. Well, he looked handsome and he made out

with Julianna Margulies and that was about it. I think he was a, oh, he was a, he was a pediatrician so he was working on the kids. There you go. You can skip ER now.

Yeah. if hey guys were you did you know that today you're going to get a cliff notes version of ER from me in one sentence or less I don't know if you knew that anyway hey there's a lot going on today we got a whole Thursday lineup and of course great to have Bobby here with me Wendy will be here later and we got a big email to read with Wendy today we also got some feedback from some listeners overnight I always love hearing from you guys there's a couple of quick things that I think are important to get out of the way number one Apple had an event yesterday we're not going to talk about what they showed or did. But I am going to play some audio that was very kindly sent to us from Martin Key. Martin Key will sometimes capture all the times Tim Cook says products while he's out selling Apple business. Martin Key does one thing very well. He does it extremely well. And today he did an amazing job. So I just wanted to play this. Here's what he said. This is good morning. It's too early for a scotch or brandy, but I was wondering if it's too early to get a fish sandwich.

The answer is no, it's never too early. So here and play that for you. If I can freaking find it there, right there. There it is. Hey, two are I getting a fish sandwich? There it is. So that's for you. Anyway, he said he set out 11 times as all at the iPhone 14 event yesterday,

which technically 10 products, plural, and one product singular. And he attached it for us to enjoy. So here you go, enjoy. Products, products, products, products, products, products, products. product products products products that's pretty good it's pretty good yeah i'm so glad he sent that i detected the singular product it's like a it's like a where's waldo in audio form oh yeah there was good job you i still'm not sure which one it was so i didn't pay attention anyway that was really cool of him thank you for that uh here are also some more of these send

and receive email we got an email from mark on the topic of cooking wine which the other day i said taste terrible, and I stand by that. It's awful. Back when you were admitting to everyone that you are an alcoholic. Yeah, that now after one mojito at sea, I have become a raging alcoholic, and I'm here. I'm one of those nice alcoholics,

though. I'm kind of sweet and kind when I'm blasted instead of like an A-hole. I don't beat anyone up or anything. So there's that. Silver linings, everybody. Anyway, this says, Dear Sierra and Burgundy. Surrah.

Serra, thank you. I don't drink. I don't no i don't know what that is i have had a mohito is that a mohito those are wines sarah and burgundy well there you go it says on the topic of cooking wine it's supposed to taste bad he says with an exclamation point uh you don't even have to be 21 to buy it because it's wine it has also had salt added to it specifically so people will not want to drink it i have no idea why this was ever a thing to begin with because they just take the worst wine to begin with and then they just add salt to make it unpalatable. It also might screw up some recipes that call for wine because there is additional salt. Just buy regular wine if you're going to cook with it. And as a bonus, you can drink the

rest of the bottle once you're done or while cooking. Cheers, Mark. Mark, that's a good point. Yeah. I did a little digging. The wine Kim bought to cook with is actual wine. It's not cooking wine. I thought it was cooking wine. It's just wine wine, red wine. I would expect that from Kim. She, She, she knows what she's doing when it comes to the kitchen, I have gathered. Oh, yeah. And I know that when I watched, back when we had cable, we used to have the food network on 24-7. That's just what you do. Sure.

Now the food network is our hotel room viewing. We do the same thing, dude. Like the same thing. While everyone else is out partying at 1130, Kim and I are in the home. hotel room watching diners, drive-ins, and dives, or whatever. Yeah, because it's good. They still call it the Food Network, but really it's the diners, drive-ins and dives channel. Yeah, when he won that contest, because that's where he came from, right? Yeah. He comes from that

contest, that first season of that contest, and he wins it. I don't think at that time they went, this is going to become the guy Fietti channel, but that's what happened, man. And look, I don't have anything bad to say about that guy, does nice things for the world. Yeah, he's a good sport. We like to dig on him because he's kind of a character, but that's the whole point. He's a character, but he seems to be a good guy. But the point

I was going to make is that they always said on there, you always, you cook with a wine that you would want to drink with. Because you're putting it in your food. You're going to taste it, right? Good point. Yeah, you're going to eat it. I would imagine that Kim would do that. The reason they do, I think,

this could be a myth, but I'm pretty sure the reason that cooking wine is loaded up with salt is well first of all you cook with salt so you've got your seasoning done there already although a lot of people might not realize it's got salt in it so they end up over-sulting their food sure because double salt but but also putting so much salt in it makes it undrinkable like it's disgusting like you said sure and and so they can actually and I like I said I think this is true I don't think it's a myth but it makes it so that they can sell it in just the regular part of the grocery store. And like, like Mark said, you don't have to be 21.

So now they can put it next to other cooking things like the vinegars and oil and all this kind of stuff. So you're not, so even if you're in like a dry county somewhere, in Pennsylvania, you could still probably get cooking wine because it's, yeah, because it's something about. And I think it gets taxed differently because of the fact that it's not sold as a, as alcohol. Yeah. Yeah, I could see that. well now they just need to make cooking weed yep and hook us up

I won't say whether or not I dabbled in any more that bag that I got in Vegas I won't say I don't know did I or didn't I don't know maybe I did maybe I had another gummy maybe I didn't have any you would never because they said that you couldn't bring any yeah that's right so why would I maybe I melted it down into a big patty and fed it to a homeless guy maybe that's what I did I don't know why would you have to melt it down into a paddy first I don't know

They like patty for them down there. I'm just trying to give it to them the way they like it, you know? You don't want to just assume that they want free, you know, loose gummies. They might want a patty. So I give them a patty. Anyway, thank you for that information. I had not really thought about it. But in this particular case, so I guess the answer is I have tasted real wine and I really disliked it.

Like greatly. Did not like it at all. Yeah, wine, beer. It's like coffee. It's this category of beverages that is a weird thing. you know, it's a quote unquote an acquired taste, which I think is weird. Like, why would you want to acquire a taste

for something that tastes bad? That's always been, yeah. I say this as someone who loves beer, wine, and coffee has acquired a taste for them. Yeah. I don't, I don't even like, say, I don't like coffee for the same reasons for the most part. Once in a while, someone will say, try this. And I'm like, oh, okay, that's pretty good.

But I'm not like a regular coffee drinker at all. So for me, it's like, the smell is all I have any kind of fondness because I remember my grandma's house. I'd smell like, you know, Folgers, crystals or whatever. It really was the best part of waking up

in the 70s and the 80s. Anyway, point is, um, I don't understand the concept of acquiring the taste because I don't think I've ever done it with anything. If I don't like how something tastes, I don't, there's never a time where I acquire it, I guess,

or except, okay, when you're a kid, you don't want mushrooms ever. I acquired a taste for those as an adult and I love them on everything. As a kid, I wouldn't eat kimchi or pickle. things, olives. What a nightmare. Green olives. Why would I eat those? Now, love them. Bring them on. Let's go. So there's that. Maybe that's what that means. And you can do that with beer and stuff. That's taste. That's taste changing, I think. Because when you're a kid, everything's like insane.

You eat an olive and go, oh my gosh, I've eaten the weirdest thing of them all in my life. I can't do that again. But then when you're older, you're like, no, I'm good. I can handle extremes, you know, a little bit more. Yeah, even peppermints like not, kids don't like peppermint very much. Oh, yeah, that's true. That's right. They think it's hot. I think it's spicy. Remember, my kids are like that.

Boy, you really want to piss off when your kids and then have a thing they bring up all the time when they get older. Put a little hot sauce on their food just to see how they react when they're like three. They'll never forget. Yeah, and they'll never trust you again. No, Taylor's always like, Dad, do you make this? No. Oh, good. I trust it then or something.

She doesn't trust it when I make food. She thinks I'm going to spike it with something hot. and she's 26 or whatever she is now I've screwed that one up you're like at a fast food restaurant you're like oh I'll go up to they call your name you know

call your number and you're saying oh I'll go grab the food and she's like no no no no no no no yeah I'll get the food you stay here yeah exactly and by the way for those saying well if you like the mojito maybe you gained a taste I don't think so because these ship drinks notoriously known

for being like even though the one I got was low sugar they go crazy with the fruity side and they could put very little alcohol in there because if they put more you're going to want less wait how's that work? I heard it some story they'll get they'll

they'll they can keep you on the hook for more of it for longer if you're not having like a massive effect with it or something like that so when I had my second mojito I had one on the deck and then later at the restaurant the restaurant one definitely had

more alcohol than I could taste it. Whereas the one upstairs was like, no, it was like a fruity drink on the deck. It was like nothing. So technically, I probably, I don't know, I probably had more alcohol and a bad thing of peaches or something in my life. I don't know. It really wasn't anything. Yeah.

Anyway, there's that. Here's an email on the Prius stuff. We were talking about why all these lift drivers have Priuses and they seem to be freaking everywhere. This is from Shane Maddox. We love Shane. He's great. He says, hey, steering wheel.

backseat. I like that. Incidentally, I had a Lyft last week, which may have very well been my first ride in a Prius. To confirm Brian's suspicions, the driver did explain that Lyft did provide the vehicle. Apparently, the Prius is one of the options they provide. Love the show, though. Shane, well, that's news to me that they provide anything. I didn't know they did that. Can you, if you're a driver and you're like, well, I don't have anything. I have a skateboard. Okay, well, we'll buy you a Prius. How's that work? Yeah, they, I think they, they, more or less, I don't know the details, but I think they rent it for you basically.

Oh, okay. So maybe you're paying it, not paying it off, but you're paying like a part of your, your getings are probably toward whatever that is, right? You're paying some percentage to the car. Some of your getings, that's how you, that's how you fill it out on the tax form, by the way, and the getings. line line 67 yeah um but um i can't imagine you must not make very much money lifting if you if you have to rent a vehicle i would assume yeah but then you know when i see when i see when i get in a lift like they're all in usually in really good conditions so maybe if you've got a a crappy car i don't know yeah i don't either i don't know how to i don't know how to gauge it I don't know how it works.

So I guess I've never asked Brian this and he's not here to answer it. But do they have that option when you signed up to be this driver? Did you get a buzzer a checkbox that says send me a Prius? I don't have one. I'd be really curious. But this explains a lot. If that's the case, if there's some arrangement like that, that explains why I saw, and I'm not kidding when I say this, 90% of the cars in the ride share lanes that were all parked there to pick people up. 90% of those were Priuses.

So there's something going on. Yeah, maybe a lot more people are doing it than I realize, I guess if you're driving around a bunch that day, like you'd want to drive more if you're renting it for the day, right? Yeah, you'd maximize your rides and stuff, sure. I need to look into this. I've thought about starting Lyft also because I'm taking these flying lessons, you know, and eventually I want to be able to go on a, you know, fly on a weekend or something. And flying's expensive. Yeah, not cheap. I need to find a way to supplement your income that way.

You only ever hear about people taking flying lessons that are like, you know, comedians who are bored or something. But not you. You're like a hard, you're a hard working man, getting a hard work done. And I'm not a comedian. And you're not a comedian. You're not a comedian. You're not funny at all. I'm just kidding. You're pretty funny.

Anyway, thanks, Shane. And thank you, Mark, for your emails. If you'd like to be like them and send us stuff that we can read here on the show, feel free. That email address is the morningstream at gmail.com. The morning stream at gmail.com. time for this now it's time for the news but and we usually have like a little bumper for somebody sometimes it's one of you out there listeners or whatever but

I thought we'd take a second and just tell people about all around science Bobby's podcast Bobby tell us about it and why would one want to scoge on over to their little digital hole and go hey this is a cool show I need this in my life tell me why sell me well so it's a weekly science show we talk about science news what we think is interesting in science and what what you know has been going on in the world of science on a weekly basis and there are a lot of news shows out there but i find that a lot of them take a very either uh serious approach or a journalistic approach and we're not journalists we're just kind of like like science nerds we love talking about it and and thought

But why not, why just annoy our spouses with our well-actuallys? Yeah, why make that just part of the table, you know, at home at dinner when you can spread it to the masses? I get that, sure. Yeah, when you're really a big fan of science, you really do love talking about things that you've read about and learned about and everything. So it's kind of like an outlet for us, and we talk about it every week. And we're not experts, so we kind of come at it from a different perspective and ask a lot of questions of each other and try our best to teach each other about what we've been reading about that week. Yeah. By the way, can I tell you a bad joke?

Yes, I love bad jokes. It's not even a joke. It's a thing that I – it's not a joke I told, but it's a joke my older brother, Mark, who's like 10 years older than me. he used to tell all the time because he thought it was hilarious. And as I say it now, I actually even regret even bringing it up. But I'm going to say it anyway, right? He used to say everyone's an expert. And his goal was to have somebody say, what do you mean everyone's an expert?

And say, all people are experts. Hold on, hold on. You set it up. I know what to do now. Okay, okay. So he's, so I walk up to you and I go, hey, you know, every single one of us is an expert. What do you mean everyone's an expert? well they we all came from your dad's uh his okay his joke was we are ex spurts oh from from i'm not to gross anyone out but from the man's penis like we used to be a spurt we were a spurt we were part of the the the lack of a better way of saying the seaman load okay uh to

to fertilize the egg. And that was his joke. He thought that was hilarious. And he would tell it all the time. And he would always laugh. Or maybe it was my Uncle Joel. I may be attributing this the wrong person. It sounds like a weird uncle joke.

Yeah. My Uncle Joel was kind of gross. And he would tell all kinds of gross jokes all the time. I've talked about this. I'd walk into a family thing and he'd go, hey, hey, hey, come here, Scott. Come here. Come here. Come here.

I'm like, oh, geez. Here we go. And I'm like, ten. And I get up to him, and he'd reach up my ear, you'd get it close to my ear and go, you know what they say about a two-pound monkey and what he, at that time he met a priest in the alley or whatever. Oh, God. It's not even a real joke, but he could do these horrible setups and then tell me these punchlines.

And I'm like 10 or 12. I don't need this. And I would have to like walk away going, huh, that's great, Uncle Joel. That's great. And he'd slap me on the back and then off to the races. But the way you just described, I could smell your uncle. like that was such a good he has he's in his 70s now or something

yeah late 70s but at the time and still now he had this huge ponytail he's got it all wrapped up in the back it goes way long on his back he's got this huge beard he did have a smell like talcum powder and I don't know what else I don't know what all yeah no I got it it's right

yeah it's in your head you've already you've achieved a smellness all right Anyway, that spurt joke is the worst thing ever. Moving on, let's get to this story here. Hey, you know Snoop Dog, you know, you're familiar with his work? Yes. I am. Smoking weed every day.

Yeah, smoke weed every day. I have that right here. Where is that? Here you go. Smoke weed every day. All right, so that's him or people around him. Anyway, he made a cereal. It's called Snoop loops and it's coming to a breakfast table near you.

For real. This guy will sell anything, do anything, whatever. He'll put his name on it. You don't care. That's his deal. The rapper, actor, and entrepreneur is launching a new serial called Snoop Loops. The whole green cereal looks similar to Kellogg's Fruit Loops, but it also includes marshmallows. Geez, Louise.

There's already a cereal that is like that. It's called Fruit Loops with marshmallows. Oh, do they have that? I didn't know they had that. Is that a thing? Oh, my gosh. Yeah. I've not had a sugary kid cereal in about 10 years.

It's a good description, though. It perfectly describes what it is. It's like fruit loops. but with marshmallows. But with marshmallows. Okay. Well, that's what he's doing. Let's see.

He said, oh, he unveiled it on Instagram over the weekend. It's actually a couple of weeks now. Broadest Foods introduces the best tasting cereal in the game. The No Limit Records founder wrote in the caption, Snoop Dogg, we're taking over the grocery stores. Snooploops.com with a Z. Loops has a Z, which I assume is the effect of the weed putting you to sleep there at the end. We make. So the more we make, the more we get.

give. Berry delicious foe shizzle, he says. Very delicious. Oh. Uh-huh. Get it? Barry delicious. Instead of very. See, that's the play there on the words there. That's the very. Barry. For shizzle. Barry. I was sorry, dairy. Anyway, he says, what do you go on to say?

Oh, Snoop Dog, whose real name is Calvin Brodus, for those who didn't know that. I didn't know that, but that explains Brodus foods. Yeah, Brodus Foods. It's broadest foods, I think. There you go. Did you know that the brand's chief executive officer is Percy Miller, aka Master P? Wow. Yeah.

I want to work there. That is a hip-hopping food brand there. I'm sure that they, I think they also do, pretty sure they also do some weed products. I'm not sure. Brodus food already is a number of breakfast items under the Mama Snoop brand, which includes grits, oatmeal, pancake mix, and syrup. The company also boasts charitable donations for two organizations, including Door of Hope, a Christian nonprofit that helps people dealing with homelessness. Quote, Broadest Foods was founded to continue Mama Snoop's legacy of her generous love and passion for feeding families in our communities. So it's based on his mom.

That's nice. It is actually kind of nice. I'm looking at their website now. And it looks, yeah, it looks like they're actually trying to do some good in the world. Yeah, which I can't, you know, I can't ding him for that. That seems good. You would, if you look at this, you would not have any idea, if you didn't know who Calvin Broadus was, or Percy, you would have no idea that either of them was associated with this. I guess except from the Mama Snoop, but still, like, it looks like they're all legit looking foods.

You know, pancake mix, syrup. Even the cereal box just looks like a general, it's got cartoon characters on it. It's like, yeah. I don't know. I guess I expected to click on it and see like a cartoon version of Snoop Dog. Sleepy-eyed by like... Weed smoker-looking characters and stuff. Questionable-looking leaves.

Oh, by the way, speaking of the mask, guys, a blue dog. He's called Captain Ace, the K-9 team captain. He's a blue Siberian husky pup. He reigns from the Alaskan territory where one snowflake can make an avalanche fall. Is that true? I don't think that's true. Or if it's true, it's always true no matter where you are then, right? It doesn't matter if it's Alaska.

That's physics. It says Ace is the Kobe of basketball in Doggyland. When he and his team are not playing hoops, they go undercover a secret spies with their cool spy gadgets and use their super canine abilities to solve mysteries and save those in danger. They're snooping. They're snooping. Yeah, they're snoop. That's how you get away with saying snoop without fully revealing. Snoop Dogg's involved with your business here.

Anyway, there's a whole bunch of stuff that. There's like a whole background to this. Yeah. It's like they're world building here. They are. It's big. It's big, man. Looking for that Saturday morning cartoon coming soon, yo. Oh, I bet you that's for, that's going to be a Netflix exclusive. Yeah. But I'd love that this guy will just do. He's just whatever. Put my name on it. Let's go. Yeah, man. I'm Snoop Dog. Well, like I said, they're helping, trying to help the homeless.

Yeah. How can you complain about that? You can't. You literally can't. All right, how about this story? You can make fun of it, though. No, you definitely can. Speaking of mushrooms, I'm a fan. I'm not talking about the psychedelic kind. I mean, the kind you eat, big fan. Every morning in the buffet in the ship last week, I had scrambled eggs with sauteed mushrooms. I'm not a fan of mushrooms. Oh, Bobby. How can I convert you? Hold on. Let me think. What's my sales pitch? Oh, mushrooms are good. Is that good enough? Does that do it for you? Sold. Great. They're a high source of fiber. You get the right ones. It tastes good.

No pizza. I should say there are lots of different kinds of mushrooms, right? And I do like portobella mushrooms I've had in things. And I'll eat them. It's just my daughter, my youngest daughter, loves mushrooms. And she just, I have to cook foods that I don't like sometimes. And that's one of them. I have to cook sauteed mushrooms.

So she can just have a bowl of mushrooms. Same with Kim, but it's for me. That's the only, I'm the kid. But like, we were real split in our house. Me and Taylor, my oldest, love mushrooms. Everyone else hates them. So it was hard for us to get work done. But anyway, you don't have to eat these.

Your final resting place could be a coffin made of the stuff, made of mushrooms. This is a Dutch startup. You'd just eat your way out. Yeah, you eat your way out of your death and you're fine. Dutch startup loop is the name of the company. Runs a factory in the city of Delft. Is that right? Dutch people? Can the Dutch weigh in?

I don't know. Dufth? Dufth? Dufth? That is unlike anything you've ever visited. For one thing, as soon as you enter, the scent of mushrooms, fill your nostrils like the smell of a forest after rain. That sounds so good. I know that there's a very split issue with mushrooms.

I know that not everyone's going to fill this way, but... I don't mind the smell of mushrooms. Like, it's very earthy. It's great. Yeah. You're okay with that. You just don't want to eat it. Yeah.

get it's probably a texture thing honestly yeah i had to put put a finger on it it's probably that's what kim says she says it's not the taste it's the texture yeah because i like it cooked i like things cooked in mushrooms and stuff yeah i like a steak just piled high with sauteed mushrooms right now i could eat this right this freaking second i could do it anyway uh if you follow your nose you'll arrive at a damp former vehicle repair shop filled with industrial size fridges, heaters, fans, and two greenhouses. Oh, you know. One of these are a great big freaking coffin.

The point of it is the coffin goes in the ground. It's perfectly suitable and stable for the viewing and for all the things you do, the pall bearing and all the stuff you do. But then you bury it. And then it biodegrades because it's just a big ass mushroom pile. And so as you as you decompose, the mushrooms decompose, the mushrooms decompose and now you got

amazing soil and you can grow more mushrooms there I don't know I don't know what you do is that the end goal like that's why you're doing this it's so you can have better plants I don't know no I think it

I think it's just like hey if we're going to put stuff in the ground why not make it you know something that belongs there yeah it is kind of crazy when you think about how much land is unusable because we have

like metal boxes yeah with dead people in them yeah metal boxes with people wearing metal things and plastic things and all that I know some of them are wood often there would

but even then they take longer to to break down and decay I'm kind of all for these sorts of ideas I don't know how it smells like is it overwhelming at the at the viewing if you're in the south is it even worse because everything's hot and humid

you're kind of cooking your freaking mushroom In general, the answer is yes. The answer is yes. If you're in the south, it's worse. I mean, you're in the south. You know how it goes. It's hot right now, right? Oh, my gosh, yes.

It's going to be hot for like another two months, probably. I don't know what's going on here either. We're in the 102 range. We're not supposed to be that hot this time of here. It's effed. It's almost like there's a heat wave going on. I would say what's going on, but I'd feel like I'm beating a dead horse. Yeah.

That horse, who's dying, his name is climate. climato changeo is his name and uh we love that horse and you can put him in a really big coffin coffin yeah or mushroom coffin coffin mushroom coffin i guess that would be the right way to say it coffin mushroom this article this article is doing a great job of trying to get you in a particular mood there's a paragraph here that starts what it's like describing the scene right white lab coats and glassware are dotted around and in one corner sit 25 yellowish white caskets the color of a poorly maintained incisor. What a weird descriptor.

That's really weird. I don't think I like that. I think that's too weird. All right. A Houston woman in the news. We like our Texas listeners, so here's one for you guys at home. Houston woman poisoned on her birthday

after touching a napkin found in a car. Oh, man. Yeah, this goes places. According to Fox 26 News, the local affiliate there, Aaron Mims was celebrating her birthday with her husband on Tuesday when she found a napkin stuck

and the passenger door handle of their car as they were leaving the restaurant. She barely touched the napkin as she threw it away without giving it much thought. Then went back into the eatery and washed her hands. After she returned to the vehicle and they departed, she felt a tingling sensation in the hand. When she opened the car door, maybe in five minutes or so, my whole arm started tingling and feeling numb. I couldn't breathe, said Mims. Let's see, I started getting hot flashes. My chest was hurting.

My heart was beating really fast. Her drusband, sorry, husband. drove her to a nearby hospital where doctors performed blood work, urine tests, and a cat scan. In the video, she explained that she spent about six and a half hours at the hospital after the incident, which started at Prospect Park.

She got poisoned. Let's see if we can find out the kind of poison this is. That's what I'm looking for. Let's see. Just imagine grabbing me. Okay. They got some crazy people in the world, y'all. Yeah, it says mims.

who weren't to watch out y'all never thought this happened to me on my side of town they still don't say they never say what it was is it possible that it was like food poisoning or something I mean maybe that's what I'm saying I feel like we're having a

causation causality thing here I guess I guess you don't normally go numb in your arm when you get food poisoning so maybe that's a giveaway that it's not but if that is that seems deliberate doesn't it She used to take stock of what kind of enemies she might have.

I know. Next time I see it like a, well, I don't know if I've ever seen it, but I see some tissue jammed in the little hand thing. I'm going to pick that out with a pencil or something. I'm not going to touch that. I think I probably would have done that anyway. But the, it probably was left on the door handle. Because it said that she went back in and washed her hands and finished the meal.

and probably when she came back out and opened the door with the same door handle I bet you there was something left on the door handle yeah she re-infected like if you went and touched that here's where I would have this is where her and I are different this makes me wonder is she particularly germophobic or something

because if I would have done this I would have seen it I would have pulled it out and tossed it and then just got in the car the idea of going back into the restaurant and washing my hands immediately would have not occurred to me, even though it probably should have occurred to me, right?

But I just wouldn't think of that. Yeah. And I usually have spray in the car, like some antibacterial something, so maybe I would have done that. But yeah, who knows? I guess what I'm saying is next time you find a wad of paper jammed in somewhere it shouldn't be. Don't necessarily assume it's just some old lady's bugger rag. Okay. Yeah.

Don't assume it's not poison. Yeah. Don't not assume that it's not point. Wait, don't not not assume. I don't know what we're going with that. Just keep adding on the negatives. You'll get it right eventually. Great.

Wouldn't be a Bobby day with, we didn't talk about COVID for a second. So here's some COVID stuff. America's COVID toilet paper hoarders. Remember them? Remember their whole deal? Oh, yeah. That was, yeah.

Do you think there's still people with like a load of toilet paper in storage and they're just sitting on it, you know, hanging on to it for a rainy day? What do you think of that? You think that's a thing? I don't know. I feel like, like, why wouldn't you,

have just used the toilet paper before you went and bought more i mean that's what i would do we kim and i so can't for here's a little insight into our lives kim and i always try to have somewhere between six to six months to a year's worth of food storage and that includes some you know paper products and we try to have like a year so if if things went south for whatever reason uh we would just we would have enough to feed everybody and take care of the kids if they needed to come here whatever we'd have we'd have enough so it's a lot of like canned stuff and you know ramen bags and this is what you expect we have a couple when when when covid started did you kind of like like get a little you know a little bit of like you guys thought we were crazy huh huh no not really i think

we were we just always i don't know this is almost an entirely a kim thing she's very very prepared all the time. And I'm not so much that way. I don't get hyper prepared for anything. But it was always nice to know that it was there. And we try to rotate through it. That's the other thing. It's not static.

So you eat through it and then replenish it. It's a good idea. It seems like a decent idea. So we do that already. And we've been doing that since we've been married my whole life. So this is like nothing new. So we had toilet paper, but not tons of it. But I remember at the time thinking,

Are we sitting on, you know, like a gold mine here? Like, should we, should we eBay a box of this? Or like, what are we supposed to do? Anyway, I don't know how many people still have that. The people that really hoarded went to Costco and went to town, all that stuff. And if they still have it, did they go through it? Are they still wiping their butts with it? I don't know what they're doing.

Some people, I mean, there were some people that got a lot of it. The people early on who saw the writing on the wall before the stores whizzed up and put limits on those things. Yeah. Some of those people were getting quite a bit. It was bad. And then some of them, I remember there was a big, toward the end of the panic there, there was some guy got like 60, I don't remember what it was.

It was some huge amount of toilet paper. And he tried to take it back to the store they got it from. Oh my gosh. Because he realized he'd overdone it. And they said no. Like, go home, dude. Well, of course they said no. Like, what?

I'm not going to pay, we're not going to give you a money better. Would, what other situation would you have ever been able to return all that? Like, that doesn't make any sense. Even with like a, looks like I was wrong. Yeah. So even with like a really liberal return policy, even then, I just don't know. It's the kind of thing that I, if I were them, I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't give it back.

Walmart will let you return anything. That's true. He could have gotten some door credit, I feel like. That's true. Man, you know what's weird? Sorry. Side note. On the ship, overheard a conversation.

I may have been the same people that were looking for Sarah Palin's house or something because there were these people that were really excited to see her. But they kept talking about how they refused. They won't shop anywhere but Walmart. And the people that were with them were asking them, well, why is that? And they said, well, first of all, it's just where I get everything, everything I ever need. And, you know, fair enough. They have kind of all that stuff covered, all your needs or whatever.

Sure. And then they, I cannot remember how this went. She said something like, It's not all, how'd she put it? It's not all up its own butt like Target, she says. And I thought, I don't feel like Target's up at some. I feel like Target is kind of on the same level, sort of. Target is the bougie Walmart.

Yeah, they're just, it's just Walmart with a giant Target on it. Maybe their prices a little more. I don't know. I haven't really compared, but they were really into that Walmart discussion, though. Just going, oh, on, I love Wal. they got the garden zone there i can just get my stuff take home put it in the garden like they were stoked about walmart i kept thinking dude on an average visit to walmart i see someone puke like like walmarts are gross they're gross i can't stand going to walmart yeah i don't like it

i don't like it either i mean look if i have to and and the prices right or they're the only ones with the console i'm waiting up all night for whatever i'll go there but i'm not pick i'm not going there first. I'm not going, so maybe this is what they're talking about. Maybe it's just because people look down their nose at Walmart. Probably is. They're having some of that that pushback to people. But, you know, I feel like most people probably are fine with Walmart

if how busy it always is is any indication, you know? Yeah, but it's always busy with people in sweatpants where I can see their butt cracks. That's different than Target, you know? Where else are they going to go, Scott? Where else are they going to go? You're right.

There's only one way to go. And that's Walmart. All right. Anyway, these toilet paper people, here's the weird effect. It created booming sales of Japanese toilets. So, oh, did it? Yeah.

In fact, the chat even alluded to it earlier. The bidets and fancy toilet market exploded in the wake of that. So luxurious toilets complete with heated seats, cleansing jets, and water of water, so common in Japan, they become almost synonymous with its culture. They're now taking off in the U.S. thanks in no small part due to pandemic-induced shortages of toilet paper. The largest toilet maker in Japan, Toto Limited, which introduced the washlet in 1980. They were like the first high-tech bidet, really. Yeah, yeah. Their sales of the device more than doubled in the first

quarter of 2020 from a year earlier and jumped 18% in the first quarter of 2022 from the prior year. The outlook for further growth is bright, despite the toilet paper panic being over. He says this, the executive dude over there, CEO says, although washlet sales in the U.S. have grown significantly, they're still, significantly, they're still far behind the penetration rate in Japan. It's because the water penetrates better. It does kind of, a little bit, right? So I think they probably had like a perfect storm of things going together, right? Like a perfect shit storm.

I like it. There was the pandemic, people buying up all the toilet paper, so you need an alternative. And also everybody got extra, like, stimulus money. Yeah, they could afford a toilet. We did. We bought a bidet that year. We did that very thing. I bet you, I bet you, like, we bought a Rumba with some of that extra money.

So I bet you, like, I bet you there were all kinds of sales. That was the point of the stimulus, right? was to help. It didn't work, I don't think. Maybe it did. Maybe it staved us off. I don't know what it did. I know it helped me get a TV I wanted. So that's cool. I don't think people buying toilet paper was the thing that caused the shortage, though. I always heard that that was what people thought at first, but really it was a supply chain thing. But I guess the end result is still people don't have toilet paper. So they're looking for hoses to clean their butt with. Yeah, which meant there were two or three viral videos of people with giant stacks of toilet paper in some

stores and that made it feel like everybody was doing that and yeah per usual it's a little over amplified but anyway good job japan you you've cornered the market on the shitter uh good job all right we're going to take a break when my when we come back my sister windy will be here we got a big email to read this week and uh it's a beast but a lot of important stuff there hopefully it's going to help them and some of you out there as we tackle it. Before that, a music break. I got this song from Brian. This is from a British slash Indian rock artist named Pertie or P-R-Y-T-I. P-T-I. I feel like it's a pretty, it's a play on Pretty. I could be wrong. I don't know. Maybe. But anyway, this song is called Wasteland. It says Pretty is excited to share her new single

Wasteland out today via Welcome to Pariahville Records. Fans can watch the accompanying lyric video of the song on YouTube. You can go find it out there. And it was created by visual artist and musician Craig Gowens of Bleed from Within. Or if you want to listen to it on your favorite streaming service, this is out now. A brand new single again in the British Indian rock artist, Pretty I believe, P-R-Y-T-I and the song, Wasteland. The feelings trapped in this land, trying to find us in a way way. Trying to find us somewhere. It goes through all the mean to the night.

Trying to shift this burden I'll take my beats, Tell me will you see I tell you if you'll be Here in the wayshead Here in the wasteland Here in the Westland Here in the Westland

This feeling does be no good If I should a little like when let's eat I wish I would I wish a word When I'd be took close to follow me To the night Trying to shift this paradigm This para, para

I'll set my beats Tell me will you see I hate to leave you be Here in the wasteland You tell me with this paradigm, I'm tangled in the reason's why. You tell me with this paradigm, you know me, you know me, yeah. Tell me with this paradigm I'm temple to that

This is why You tell me with this paradigm You know me You know me I said My beats Tell me Will you see

I hate to leave You be Here in the waste Tell me with this paradigm I'm telling me the reasons why You tell me with this paradise You know me, you know You know

You know Then leave you in the wasteland Believe you in the wasteland Then I leave you in the wasteland It's Calico Vision, the home video arcade system with effects just like in the arcades. Your vision is our vision, Calico Vision from Calico. You're playing with the big boys now! Big boys! You are not prepared!

All right, we have returned. That song, once again, is Wasteland by Pretty. Available now, wherever you get your indie fix. Okay? So get out there and check that out. That little commercial bit that you played after the song, he said, Your Vision is Our Vision now. Doesn't that sound like a threat?

It does, right? To me, it does, actually. Let's play that bit again. Hold on a second. The home video arcade system with effect. Your vision is our vision. Your vision is our vision. Oh, dude, I don't know.

I feel like I'm being groomed. That's an explosive word these days. All right. Yeah. I think we should call Wendy. What do you think of that? I love it. Yeah.

Look at you on the other side of the microphone. Yeah, I was on Thursday last time. That's true. That's true. Every time you've guessed it, has it been a Thursday? I think it might have been. All three? Yeah, I don't know why.

It just worked out. Well, those are the weekends Brian goes places. That would explain it. That's true. It's the day before the weekend. If you're going to extend your weekend for you guys, it needs to be starting on a Thursday. Well, extend it straight to here. My sister Wendy Dunford, who hails all the way from the beautiful Twin Cities area in Minnesota.

My sister Wendy, hi, Wendy. How are you? I was going to go much longer, like she is a professional and doesn't. all this stuff and I was like this you've got like that the radio voice is coming through strong going going real real traditional radio here today with Wendy uh it's good to have you back we weren't here last week because that was gone uh had a wonderful time I'll tell you what man Alaska is freaking beautiful yeah yeah it's amazing that place is awesome there's like there's stuff there like that petrified beach stuff we ran into run into it but we visited um was amazing to me

because I thought we were just looking at a bunch of rocks and when you got closer you realized every single one of those rocks was like I'd assume maybe millions of years old at least hundreds of thousands of years old and they are all petrified wood in different forms and it's some of the most beautiful like I wanted to get a bucket and take it all home

it was so cool and I took some of them is that bad that bad that I took some and brought Carter a couple of rocks like she's six years old is that weird no but I was there a rule against that? I don't know. I didn't check. So if there was, I got away with it. But these, I got her... And now you've admitted it.

I got her also a shell that had barnacles living on it. So it was like a shell of some creature. And then on top of that, other creatures had grown on it. And then the whole thing had died. In Alaska, they call that trash. Yeah, they might call it just trash there. I don't know. That is freaking...

A dime a dozen. That's awesome. So cool up there. Anyway, it's good to have you back, though. We're going to go ahead and just do... Oh, and Bobby's here, by the way, co-hosting Brian's in Vegas, as you may as you may as. Hi, Wendy. It's been a while.

Brian's always in Vegas. What's he do there? They're not Vegas. Sorry, he's in Anaheim this week. He's going to that Disney thing this week. But he was in Vegas last week. Yeah. Anaheim, Vegas.

That's how he gets his flight miles, basically. Just those two. Those are the ones. Anyway, and I have a billion conversations we could have about some of the psychology I witnessed on this boat. Oh, yeah. With a certain generation that is ahead of us. But we'll save that for a different time.

Instead, we're going to read this huge email. So here it comes, everybody. I've broken it down into paragraphs, so this is a little easier to read. It says, hey, Wendy, first wanted to thank you for all your advice that you give on the show. It doesn't matter what the issue is that you talk about. I always have a takeaway. Your segment has helped me in so many ways. And I always mention the segment to people and the advice you give.

I apologize. My message is long, and I'm happy to have this be a TMS segment. So here's some background. I'm 39, soon to be 40, before my second birthday. My parents split my dad left, or my parents split and my dad left for another woman. My mom got married to another abusive man. At age six, my dad got custody of my brother and I, and my mom couldn't handle looking after us.

My dad was very abusive and mentally abusive and physically all the way through to leaving me home at 18, or from me leaving home at 18. My dad and stepmom would have physical. fights and more than once there would be blood in the hall down the stairs. E. Subsequently, when I suffered or I suffered from terrible anger, I had been abusive towards one of my partners in the past from a young age. I felt like my, from a young age, I never felt liked my anger.

I'm not sure what that means. Never felt liked my anger. Anyway, some of this is a little weird. Anyway, my brothers were all the same and my family always said, it's in your blood. you can't change it. I never accepted that until recent years. I couldn't control it. I realized my anger came from anxiety after listening to the show and going to more workshops with Ryan Pinnock. Who's that? Do you know who that is? No. Okay. I started to listen to my thoughts and feelings and realized that every time I got

angry, it was due to fear. Thanks to your segment and Ryan's workshops, I have managed to learn and grow. When I met my wife, I was in a very dark place and she brought me out of it a bit. we have been together for almost 10 years and married for six two years into our relationship she started rejecting me when it came to intimacy oh boy um i really let's see i really struggled but due to my upbringing learn how to go numb for uh numb or into survival mode mode as i would call it that's what i call not pooping on a on a giant ship for seven days by the way survival mode that's not true i poop twice anyway information no one asked for what's wondering yeah you were

I'm glad because now you know. Anyway, it says then every six months or so I would have an outburst and we went through some marriage counseling in 2018. It didn't massively help. I decided in 2019 to really start working on myself. That's when I first went to Ryan's courses and I started to grow and learn about being mindful and understanding my triggers, learning from yourself about so much more. But the lack of intimacy was still there and I wasn't getting rejected because I stopped trying for the most part but i finally started to feel ready for a family over the years i became uh so focused and baby uh and a baby i think he means on a baby on a baby that towards the end of twenty twenty my anger came out in force a lot more uh and a lot more frequent i rewind uh let's see

to rewind a little i self-destructed a lot of my previous series of relationships to avoid rejection and never really communicated i hid who i was for such a long time but when i met laura i started doing the opposite because I wanted to change. I overcommunicated and I've been doing everything to not quit on our marriage. I didn't get marriage. See, I didn't, sorry, I didn't get married lightly and it was very hard for me to do. So even though I have to, or I had to be so unhappy for years, this is why I have stayed because I just can't quit. Back to 2020, it wasn't just anger. I was crying a lot. My friends and I, sorry, my friends were all having children, it seemed. okay here we go watching a tv show where somebody was having a baby even listening to stories about van on the show would make me upset in 2021 i started to break down and take my upset out on her not physically but never touched her and was having weekly outbursts along with crying most days i decided i didn't want to carry on with the anger and the pain so i started going to therapy and counseling and it's been the best thing i've ever done well good there's some advice you've given many times and that's good to hear i've worked on so much and i've grown mentally so

much. So I've communicated better and not emotionally. Counseling has helped bring the issues to the forefront of my mind and deal with them. The baby issue though, or through counseling got worse due to my own grief to the point where I had images of a baby's memory or of, sorry, images of a baby memories of holding him, smell, touch, et cetera. I understood that this was my grief forming. And after listening to you talk about ceremonializing grief, did we talk about that? we did yeah kind of like little funerals and oh yeah yeah yeah that's right uh to say goodbye when i was ready i did that and it allowed me to say goodbye on my own terms 18 months of counseling and i'm having my last session uh agreed let's see and i'm having my last session agreed with

my counselors we both felt i could handle my thoughts much better much better um i feel i want to stand on my own two feet but the one thing that hasn't changed is the intimacy and having children my wife understands now I feel I've stopped pushing. Not in a survival mode, but understanding that she has her own issues that she's been dealing with. She's been in therapy for around two years and she has her anxiety with having a baby as she is type 1 diabetic and has general anxiety. There has been multiple reasons why she didn't want to have sex over the years, ranging from she didn't feel confident to saying she wasn't attracted to me, etc., etc., and having a baby. I don't, uh, I don't doubt some of the truth behind that while, uh, whilst,

uh, sorry, whilst learning yo deal, I'm not sure what that means. Learning to deal with my own issues. The yo really throws me. Uh, I have tried to support her through managing her diabetes, uh, looking after her when she's having rough days. And more often than not, I try to look after her. I feel I have grown so much, but she's still not there. I've tried everything to support her and understand her and give her time but i am 40 soon in november and i'm starting to feel similar feelings as i did in 2020 but with better and calm understanding about my own feelings i don't think i can keep holding on to what may never happen between us my wife is my rock she saved me and i will always have that but i'm feeling stuck again and not sure what to do there's so much more i left out

and i'm trying to give as much details possible sorry for the long message and thank you john okay that's a big one you do good scott that's impressive it's a lot plus there was a lot lot of yoes were it meant to say twos and it was kind of thrown me off. Yeah, yeah. But anyway, so there it is. That's the whole thing exposed. Where do we want to go with this one and how can we help this dude? Yeah.

That's a long, a long history of having your nervous system wired around for us, right? Like, like your set point being automatically fight or flight, anxious, who knows what I come home to, et cetera, right? Like, we cannot overstate how that impacts someone through their lifespan. Yeah. You can really learn and meditation, there's a lot of, you know, if anyone's just like, ah, meditation's not for me. Well, then maybe you don't have this need as strongly as others. but there's to calm your nervous system takes a lot of effort when it was really originally wired around violence and uncertainty or neglect or those types of things right sure so a very

common response to that is overthinking and anxiety yeah okay so when you didn't have someone making sure think of it like this if you didn't have someone thinking about you yeah so this could be from neglect or they're in their own traumatic abuse cycle, you know, your parents or something, they're not thinking about you. And so if that's happening in some form, they're going to be righty form, then our systems will respond by overthinking and trying to sort of observe everything. And, you know, a neglect example would be like, well, no one's going to feed me. So now I need to, you know, I'm a younger child, I've got to look around for food sources and prepare that food and figure out how to get food. And what a kid should be doing is playing or learning or,

you know, whatever. Instead, that skill set comes on board to survive, right? So there's a lot of things, and maybe he's learned a bunch of this through therapy, the origin of some of those thoughts. I don't, the way he said it made it sound like it was a cognitive behavior. approach maybe a little bit, really getting into his thinkings. And I don't know if they went deeper into sort of sourcing some of the thinking. But the act of overthinking has an origin somewhere, usually. And so it can be really helpful to find that. And usually there's some wounds there or something bad happened or, you know, it could be trauma, that type of thing. So in his case, it's very clear what all, well, all that stuff is. So how that

applies to this is you know obviously he's gotten help and he's working on it and he's trying to do all the right things with his wife and you know but this obsessive obsessing about a baby um i think is connected and so of course i don't know the whole story and i'd have to you know talk to him to get a better sense of this but you know that would be something i would think about exploring that what does this what does having a baby mean um so you could take another person in the same case, and they will be just as adamant on the other side. I will never bring a child into the world because of what I went through, right? And we would all go, oh, yeah, okay.

No, we, yeah, it's easy to get. It's easy to understand sometimes when you hear that, yeah. And maybe that's not fair. It's just as problematic emotionally or something, but that just seems more logical, probably to everyone on the outside. But this craving for a baby probably has its roots in something very similar. It's just a different response. which is what is it that this baby represents?

Sure. Because people can want a baby, right, and not have it be some deep, dark, psychological reason. But if you really scratch below the surface for most people, you know, they want to make a photocopy of themselves and look at it. Okay. That's weird. Or they want to, they have reasons, right?

And a lot of them stem from your own experience as a child, maybe the culture you're in everyone around. Like he mentioned the social pressure, Everyone's having a baby. Definitely relate to that. So he's getting all the clocks are ticking for him. Yeah. And there's a human, not every human, obviously, but there's kind of an overall imperative to continue the line, right?

That's just kind of in us to that's part of survival is the survival of the species, not just the individual. And that's how you do it. To propagate the species. Right. And then there's also the just like you're hitting 40 and you're doing all this. work and figuring out, you know, 40, maybe I'm getting the timeline wrong, but like, he didn't do therapy really until his late mid to late 30s. Yeah.

That's a lot of life of you holding stuff together and trying to do your best and, you know, whatever. And so some of this is, sorry, maybe some of this is new to think through, et cetera, right? Like he's trying different patterns and lots of it is working and it's giving his wife space to figure this out. But clearly there's something going on with her too, right? So that's the challenge. Right. He's expecting a thing or needs a thing desperately.

And that is the exact thing she is not sure about. Anyway, so I'm focusing on the baby. We'll get to the sex stuff in a second, but focusing on the baby because that is, it's a do it or a don't do it kind of thing. It's not one of those gradual, well, that's to. it out let's borrow a neighbor's baby yeah you're not yeah you don't you really want to make sure that you're on the firm footing there and that you're doing it for the right reasons because there are a lot of wrong reasons to have a kid yeah i agree and many many times i've i've known and watched people thinking that's going to help a relationship and it is yeah that's the first thing i thought

was that if if this person is feeling on a shaky footing with with their spouse you know, you want to be careful that it's not, that you don't, you're not wanting to do this because you think it'll fix things, you know? No, no. And to quote. Because that is the opposite of what kids do for a relationship. That's right. Exactly.

Like, if you think you're going to have sex after a kid, good luck. That is not what that leads to. Not necessarily. There's somebody in the chat room kind of summed it up by saying, well, so this gigantic letter is just, I want kid. She doesn't. I don't think that's a fair assessment. by that I just mean that there's more to it than just I mean that's where it's going to land

and that's actually the problem that summary is actually the problem for for John is that all this work means like it leads up to this and it's supposed to be getting this thing I desperately need so I I also have a bias here I think I think sometimes there's a couple places with therapy that I have learned, I think are valid options. One is someone goes for 18 months and gets a little bit better and that therapist, you know, there's value in ending that relationship and letting you, you know, go on your own. Then there are people who, in my humble opinion, need it the rest of their lives, right? And they need it the rest of their lives because so much has been happened to them. And they just functioned.

better. They can just having that once a week, once a month, check in where this person does nothing but makes it about them just is really important. For someone who maybe really didn't get that kind of unconditional regard at any other place in their life, it's really powerful. And so there are lifers. And I understand this is an expensive thing and it's not always easy to find the person, et cetera. I mean, I get all of that, but there really are different categories. And then there are some with therapy, they need to just live it and not keep talking about it. That is a valid option that digging all the time is not good for them. So everyone's a little bit different and my gut here is like he shouldn't stop. This isn't, I understand the need for independence

and feeling that like I'd like to try on my own and I want to put this stuff into place. I do get that. But I think there's some power he might be missing. And where this shows up is here I want this baby and to be able to process that with somebody that's not your wife. Because here's the challenge with co-parenting, being in a partnership of any sort. You over-rely on this other person to be many more things than they can possibly be. Right. And so, especially when it's really connected to something that matters to both of you. and this baby is a divider.

And clearly, sex is also a divider. So that is, so anyway, I just want to throw that out. There's lots of versions of people needing different things. I wish everyone would go at least once to therapy, but then recognizing that sometimes as a maintenance thing for people, it is a thing. And I worry about just his history is so intense that midlife is going to create some crisis

for him like it does for everyone, but maybe in, in bigger, more difficult forms. It'll be amped for him. Yeah, it'll be amped. And this baby thing is, I think, where that's showing up in the amp thing. And this is not to deny the desire for a baby or to see it as, you know, as a jacked-up desire. It's something to be really curious about, especially if it's going to destroy a relationship. because it could. It will not be the first relationship that gets destroyed

because of either a real baby coming or not a baby and we wanted to be, right? Like, that's where people really are on different pages. It's incredibly difficult. So let's switch over to this next thing for just a minute. I mean, that's an incredibly painful thing to have your needs messed with as a kid, right? Safety messed with.

What is predictable is messed with. what is, who is trustworthy as a person is messed with. And so that stuff has kind of been in shambles. And then the commit to someone feels like an enormous leap of faith. It really, it really does. So I want to acknowledge that, right? Yeah. But then it's a human that you married.

Yeah. And they come with whatever they come with. And so navigating that, which it sounds like he really is trying to do. So I don't want to downplay that he isn't doing this work. he is um but when the and maybe i'm getting the order wrong but i think this the lack of sex started before he started therapy yeah sounds like it and so you're just shoving that down and dealing with that on your own and probably using strategies that you've used a long time to handle things and so obviously it built up so and and we haven't had a show on sex therapist

maybe for but we could have a whole topic if we want um but there are specific therapist, couples therapists who are trained specifically to work with sexual dysfunction, lack of interest, incompatibility, problems with frequency, communication about it. I mean, I've done a few things with different couples before and I'm not certified, but there's enough like good stuff that regular therapists to use that sometimes you can get, I'm going to help you that way, but a specific sex therapist can be incredibly powerful because it goes right to, and there's no wishy-washy while you're there. You're like, I'm here for this.

But can give a lot of guidance to a couple. One thing that I've helped couples do when they have not had intimacy for a long time is how to baby step that back to emotional intimacy that leads to physical intimacy and it's like a six-week program and they can do it slowly. And I've seen incredible success from that. That is one tiny tool in their toolkit. And I've watched it alter relationships. So there is really good help out there for this specific thing.

I think what's tricky is, you know, the baby and the sex are so connected, too. Yeah, there's no. And so. There's no separating those usually unless you're doing it a two. Unless you go to the IVF. Yeah. So I wonder, I mean, if I could just say blankly what I want, I want John to go see a therapist who, will help him with this the baby thoughts and obsessive and just sort of figure out where

this need to father a child comes from whether he fathers a child or not just a healing honest look at that I think could be really powerful for him and then I would send them to sex therapy that's what I do I don't want to simplify it to those you know sure but but I think they're just they're big And all the patience and love and doing all the right things in the world maybe won't help quite the way you think they should. And this is very common. When someone has an abusive background or abusive difficult childhood, there is very much a how I behave is so key to life, right? So if I'm quiet, they won't fight.

You know what I'm saying? etc, et cetera, there is the, if I manage me in particular ways, I can prevent, and this is usually really young children who think this, right? It's my fault, or I could do this differently, or if I said that the right way. And that doesn't just go away. That tends to follow through someone's life. So if he is overly concerned about, you know, meeting all of her needs and making sure he does all the right things, he's expecting something good and that rage is going to build, right? And so maybe taking a look at that. Yeah.

I think the sex therapy thing is an important point because I think a lot of people just assume while a therapist is a therapist, but they're specialties, right? Like you would go there for specifically help in that area. And I think that would be really good for them. But also, you know, there's this thing, such a weird stigma around. So, okay, take this from somebody who loved parenting. I enjoyed all of it. I love my kids.

I love it. They enriched my lives in every possible way. It's the most important thing I ever did with my time on this planet was having these kids and being in their lives. That being said, I 100% know that that's not for everybody and that people who struggle with that or don't want kids for whatever their reasons are, whether they think they're minor or major, should 100% be respected and it's them and it's their lives and they should be able to choose whatever they're going to do and not.

get hassled by mothers-in-law and stuff like that. They should just be able to make their decision. But I will say that the fear of it, I get the fear. The fear is real. So even though I knew I wanted kids, when the time came, I was freaking terrified. Like I probably relate to her more than him in this case because I was just like, oh my gosh, is this really happening? And even when it was happening and she was being delivered that night, I was the one

in a chair, you know, and the nurse is asking, is he okay? Because I was a freaking mess. I was a big pile of scarity cat. And because, you know, no matter what prep you do, no matter how hard you work at it, no matter what you think you've got taken care of to make this happen, you still feel like you're not going to be ready. You're not going to be good enough. You're not going to be great at this or whatever your fears are.

Those are all normal. I just, it's hard for me imagine to have that normal. stuff, those normal fears and trepidations that everybody's going to feel at some point and then add on to that all of this history, this past, this lack of intimacy thing, which, you know, sex doesn't have to equal kids, but the fact that that's not there at all is, is super concerning because, you know, you can't go on forever without, without something. Like, it's easy for people to go, ah, you ain't going to get it on. You ain't going to be happy. But it's, it's deeper than that. It's like human beings, I don't know the words for this.

You probably do better than me, but we need that closeness with people. And I don't just mean a hot Saturday night. I just mean like, you know, that connection, I feel like if they don't have that solved, none of this kid's stuff's going to matter anyway. Like that feels paramount to me for some reason. Like his behavioral stuff, which he's getting under control, her issues that she's working on with therapy, those all seem like good, positive direction. But they got to do this because none of the other goals work if they don't have this.

And this meaning, it's not just like they're going to, oh, I stop myself from saying something stupid. Good job, Wendy. Nicely done. Not just that they're going to have intercourse. They also, you know, it's the safety, the intimacy, the feeling wanted, the feeling connected. Like, so much of that is powerful stuff that gets you through a lot of other things, right? And so I think the baby has some end goal is maybe natural and everyone's different about this. But really, the baby is an extension of your connection is a better version of this, right?

So working on that connection, at the same time, you're processing with somebody else, this intense craving. for a human being to be in your life. And, you know, I mean, if all I did on Instagram was watch people on yachts, I'm going to want a yacht, you know what I mean? And so you've got to look at, and here's what I find with most people. When I break down what their social media intake is, we find so many core sources of their misery. And it's chicken and the eggs sometimes.

But so, you know, you're trying to save money and you're never able to and you can't figure out why, and then I go with you through your social media, and it's everything you can't afford. You're, you know, you're just, you're just setting yourself up to be in pain. So if you can change that slightly, shift what you see. And so a therapist is going to see a broader picture of what is going on here. I'm not saying he's got like a Pinterest board with babies all over it, but he might also not be taking care of what he needs to, and then it's giving him a whole lot of dopamine to think about this baby. And

I'm going to just flash the feminist card real quick. It's not your body. And it is not all the fluids aren't coming out of you. And as much as we'd love to think it's all egalitarian, we all know

Scott's kids would be dead without Kim. Like we all know it. Oh, 100%. Love you both. Yeah, I know that too. I mean, I would hope I would do what's necessary if things were different. But you could not wrong like this you would but it doesn't mean your sister and your mother might need to live next door yeah they might need that kids can only live for so long on doggarito's sky yeah I know agree I agree we're going to run out of tortillas and corn dogs and then what agreed and so it's not

that that he can have this desire you know it isn't to downplay that but it's to recognize that unless he wants to get a surrogate and do a child a different way he has a partner he has to figure this out with because it really is way more of a sacrifice for her than it is for him. It just is. Now, if they adopt, they have some other form, okay, great. Then we can be on a slightly different footing. But her bodily autonomy and her own fears and everything, like, he just can't override that. So he either needs to demonize her or work with her. And that's unfortunately kind of what happens in relationships, right? Is there's enough, vitriol can be created pretty easily in stuff that's so intensely

needed or wanted by one party. Because resentment builds. And it can start as simple as like do the dishes. I don't like to do the dishes, right? Like marriages and relationships can crack with way less pressure than they are under. And so just being really

gentle with it and honest with it and you know, like Scott said a little bit of the let's see what we can do with your emotional physical intimacy before you bring a kid in to add a thousand pounds of weight on top of everything. I mean, yes, there's the bonus of them. They're smiling and cute, but it is not a way to improve a relationship.

Not necessarily. You really have to deal with, like you've said, deal with the underlying issues that are going to be underneath everything, but that takes a lot. That's going to take a lot of patience. And I think that's another thing that he mentioned was this idea of almost 40 and feeling that there's this time pressure that needs to be fixed now. I want kids, and if I wait too long, what does that mean? And all this kind of stuff.

But those are all, like, you can't just say, let's fix this one small issue, have the kids, and then because you're just delaying what seems to be other issues coming out and running forward, right? Obviously, the rush comes from 40s, this weird demarcation in people's lives. They think that's your moment of no return. bad news for everybody it's not but um it's not it's not it really is not however it is a little harder to chase a toddler around in your 40s and it's in your 20s and you just know too much right so so and that clock ticking and that stress and that feeling of deadline that's the other thing to to kind of think through right um there's a lot of older parents out there so if i said hey

to show me your social media, and I am looking at beautiful people with new babies, then you're looking at the wrong stuff. You need to look at the dad who's 60 with a fourth grader. Yep. Right? And you're going to watch real life. And it's not to sway you. It's just to be a more honest portrayal.

What we look at all the time is this setting us up to not get the thing we're looking at, right? Like it's a trap. It's very unfortunate. Don't you feel like there needs to be a social media. where parents with kids that are older post pictures of the stressful, terrible times as a warning. Yeah, you know what? Your Instagram photo should be a dark lit photo, a garbage, blurry photo of you on a couch

at 2 a.m. wondering where your daughter is. Or it should be you up with four kids who all got stomach flu the same time and are barfing everywhere and crap and everywhere. or now you have it and you still have to deal with it. Like those sorts of things, they come and they go. They can make you, they can definitely make you and your relationships

within those situations stronger, but it feels like you got to have some kind of baseline going in or else I just, I just wouldn't do it. Like as much as I... The great fear, I would assume for him, is that he recreates history, right? That is everyone's fear.

Which is why often people just will not have children if they've had terrible childhoods because... That's their guarantee not to recreate history. Sure. And again, let's be clear, there are plenty of people who had great childhoods and don't want children. It's everyone's everywhere doing their thing. It's fine. But there is a very common version of this.

Like, I will not because of what I went through. And so that fear or that, the work you have to do to not recreate history. Because there is, you know, the perfect parent will yell. The perfect parent will do things wrong. Yeah. And so you've got to be able to handle you when you aren't perfect and a child thinks you suck because they will. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.

Yeah. And all the things, right? So the healthier are, you know, I think we often focus on, are you physically healthy to raise a child. That's not the concern, even though it's helpful to have good knees, right? It's, are you actually psychologically healthy to do this? And if your partner and you aren't together working on it, because let's say she was like, yes, let's be baby. This guy would have a baby right now and sleep deprives and whatever. And then would be navigating the same stuff, the intimacy thing.

The baby would just mean you have less time and you can't get a workout in and you're poor. So that's why you would add. Yeah. Plus you have like, you know, sometimes stuff, you know, having a baby on. the woman's side that you know of course the dude didn't have to do much work you had a great time making that baby but uh when she's had it so many chemical changes happen you know some women really get like i don't just mean postpartum depression but i mean like you know it just affects them and so and she already has diabetes so she will have diabetes while pregnant which means

all of these things are true that's absolutely there's lots of especially the older you get right men can just donate that old gross sperm until they're 80, but women, we got a, there, there is a time clock there that matters. Yes, indeed. Yeah, old, old gross sperm, for sale now. Look, I got through almost all of this with only that. That's pretty good. No, good job. I'm impressed.

So someone in the chat said something that I think is we at least should bring up. In the email, he said she at one point said she just wasn't attractive to him, or he wasn't attractive to her and a whole bunch of people said red flag red flag red flag you know they should break up this and this isn't you know this isn't going to go on or whatever because that's just a huge red flag um is it always or sometimes is that just a stage or phase or they don't know how to interpret how they feel if they're not feeling like they want to have that kind that level of intimacy part of your brain just says well is it because I'm not attracted to him I guess I'm not I'll go ahead and say I'm not attracted like I don't know it doesn't always have to mean that right

yeah 100% you're 100% right so that also you don't have to to be attracted to each other to have a good relationship. That's true. I've seen some marriages where they're not repulsed by one another, but they go ahead and live about their lives. There's a spectrum of that type of desire, and it can change over time. It should change. Like, if your body stayed the same since you were 25, then who are you?

Like, that's not real. So it has to change, and it will change. And so your guys are exactly right. The problem is that they're not on the same page. Right. And it may be that if she's, let's just say she's depressed and anxious and doesn't feel good about her own body and she is not feeling any of the things, that's attraction right there, affecting attraction. If you don't feel good, you're less attracted to anyone. Maybe you could have, I don't know, some walk in who is especially attracted, but you still might be like, nah, let's just play a board game, right?

Right. And everyone can have a different sexual drive anyway. There could be biological reasons. There can be just, that's not how it floats for you. But that needs to be addressed. So people's point, they should break up because that's a red flag. That would be a red flag in their relationships. Right? Or that idea of like, oh, I'm in this more than the other person. That is a scary thing. That is potential rejection on the line. And so that that's something that matters to them. And in this case, is it? So that's why I would just like a professional to overview their sex life a little bit to just say, ooh, okay, let's figure that out. Because that is a very common piece of this is people's very, like a change that's, you know, we're always worried about a change that was not planned or unexpected or, you know, like have you suddenly stopped sleeping. That is a much bigger deal than slowly over time I've stopped sleeping.

because something more acute might be going on. I don't know. But they need help evaluating that. And I'm assuming if she's depressed at all, that it's just not even on her radar. Her hormones might not even be functioning in a way that desire is even possible. There's some biology things maybe potentially happening. So a good overview. Yeah.

I agree. Well, we would love to hear back on how things go because I really want these guys to find something good for their lives. lives, as we always do with your emails. So let us know. Keep us informed. Speaking of informing people of things. Yeah. Sign-ups happening over there at the real help.

No, not real help. No, real steps. org. What's wrong with me? Realsteps.org. Not the fake steps. The real steps. It's okay, Scott.

She hasn't been doing this for very long. No. So it's understanding. I told you. I go on a boat for a week and I forget freaking everything. I hear you. It's good times. Yeah.

steps are we are starting the first monday in october um and it's going to be fantastic we want everyone to be there if you have questions you can email me at admin at real steps dot org oh you're the admin are you fancy i am the end well at least i get the emails from me if people have questions but yeah it's going to be a really good new round we have a podcast that we are currently working on yeah um one thing about real steps if you participate you'll know that We love a good, what do you like? What do you want more of feedback kind of thing? And so we've asked people to send us any topic ideas.

We have like 100 ourselves, but we thought, what's that's ground? Any topics people want to hear about? The podcast is maybe 15, 20 minutes max always. It'll be a pretty short one. But we'll tack a little small bit. So if anyone has any suggestions, you can email them there at admin at real steps. Or I'll give you a link, Scott, to a Google Doc. people can just fill in their suggestions.

Oh, that's great. I would love to pass that around. Just stick that in here or email it or something and I'll pass it around. That's awesome. I'll put it in the Discord chat. Well, there you have it, everybody. It's my sister, Wendy. It's nice to talk to you.

And I hope that the weather out there is not frightful. I don't know why I'm telling you. It is stunning. I don't know what's happening everywhere else, and I'm sorry to all of you. But it will be negative 30 in the winter, so don't be jealous. Yeah, you've got your cold coming. We're just... And it has been just perfection.

We came home from. We're 50 to 60 degree weather in Alaska, Seattle, and Canada, and came home to 103 degrees at 8 o'clock at night. Oh, my gosh. So that was fun. But it was dry. See? It's the dry heat, as they tell you. It's a dry heat.

Yes. Enjoy that. All right. Be good. We'll see you later. All right. There she goes. Hey, Bobby.

Guess what? No, you tell me. All right, I'll tell you. There are a couple of shows coming up. Two things happening that are kind of important. tonight core 5 p.m. Get your video game fix on with core. Me, John and Bo doing our thing.

We love core. You might love it too. If you haven't heard it before, check it out. Frogpants.com slash core or wherever you get your podcast. We've got a big bunch of news to talk about plus some other stuff there. I'll also get a full report on what Steam games Scott played on his Steam deck while on the ship's deck. So what deck deck deck games did I play while on the trip? And you might be surprised about a couple of them.

Sounds like link bait. Why did I say it that way? Anyway, that's tonight. 5 p.m. Mountain Time over right here at frogpans. TV or you can get the podcast later. And then tomorrow at noon mountain time, 2 p.m. Eastern, where Bobby is,

we'll be doing a live stream with the South Carolina meetup folks that are all having a little meetup tomorrow. It's in North Carolina. I keep saying South, I mean North. Well, we are the better Carolina. You are the better Carolina. It's not going to be here. It's going to be at North Carolina.

That's right. I always do that. to mix them up um but all i know is you both have you have to share the panthers that's all i know so yeah enjoy uh but anyway yeah i'm gonna be doing that we're gonna stream live into those folks and uh do it right here at frogpans tv as well and hear how they're doing stream live into them yeah stream straight into those people uh it's gonna be good i sent a bunch of swag this week brian sent some the week before so there's plenty of stuff people will be getting i guess they pretty much sold the house they're renting out and uh are not sold but sold it out filled it out

filled it out whatever you do and uh i can't wait to hear about whatever debauchery all those folks are getting up to so uh i keep saying tomorrow 9 of 12 it's saturday sorry my bad saturday at noon tomorrow i'm doing a i'm doing a solo uh uh watch along a couch party i haven't picked what yet but that's happening tomorrow so my bad saturday at noon all right don't listen to me actually i wrote it my calendar wrong this is the problem okay uh Moving on, this show is supported by you find folks at home. Patreon.com slash TMS is how you do it. It's a perfect time to jump in, relatively new month, all new content coming down the pipe.

And if you haven't already checked it out after these many years, you can do it today. Go to patreon.com slash TMS and frogpants.com slash TMS for everything else. Bobby, one more time, where can people find your rad podcast and why should they? You can, the podcast is called All Around Science. and that's how you find it. Just Google it or go to all-around science.com or Twitter at All-Around Sci, stuff like that. Nice.

Just Google it. You put it in the Googler. Yeah, put it in the Googler. Shake it around. Boom. Your science podcast just won up 1,000%. So, nice job. It's great having you here, man.

Thanks for hanging out with me. It's great being here. Like I said, anytime. I love hanging out with all the folks, you find folks here at. the tad pool. Yeah, the chat room's awesome. You're usually in there, but today you're on the other side.

Our best to Brian. We'll hear how things went with him when we get back. He'll be back and doing normal stuff on Monday with the rest of us. There is a film sack this weekend. We pre-recorded it earlier this week. So you'll be able to get your hands on that on Saturday as well. I think that's everything. I'm going to play a song.

And to no one's surprise, Scott has decided to finish the show with a piano or not really piano, sort of piano, but a non-vocal cover of the loveboat theme. I don't even know where I got this, but I'm going to play it. And you guys are going to hopefully enjoy it. I got obsessed with the love boat during my trip, and I can't get the song out of my head, so you may have to deal with the same fate as I have had to deal with for the last week. So it's coming at you right after this,

a full-blown two-and-a-half-minute cover of the famous loveboat scene or a song. show is what I'm trying to say. Thank you again, Bobby. Thank you everybody for listening. That is going to do it for us. We'll see you next time right here on TMS. Thank you. We're going to be able to be. This show is part of the Frog Pants Network. Get more shows like this at FrogPants.com. The smell and the taste are anything but pleasing.