The Morning Stream - TMS 2370: Angle Face

Episode Date: October 27, 2022

A Tale of Two Michelles. Undo with Crayon-Z. The McBrian is Back! Sexy Science Jesus. I am pants at that game. Print me the idol, I will print you the whip. Moistly appreciated. The Royal What. Dollymops. I can't pinch and zoom with this book. It removes the SteamDeck from the Bedroom or it gets the DREAMS again. Dearest Johnson. I Like All the Gaze. Kindle-ing interest in books with Amy.Cans and cans of Aqua-net with Wendi and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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you. Coming up on TMS, a tale of two michelels. Undue with crayonzie. The McBrion is back. Sexy science, Jesus. I am pants at that game. Print me the idol. I will print you the whip. Moistly appreciated. The royal what? Dolly mops. I can't pinch and zoom with this book. It removes the steam deck from the bedroom or it gets the dreams again. Darest Johnson. I like all the gays. Kindling interest in books with Amy. Can and cans of Aquinette with Wendy and more on this episode of The Morning Stream

A film takes about three months to make this took seven months to make and it was about the astronauts and all that good stuff Hey there, get your fingers off the film that's better This is a couple. This is an account.

country, it's an ice cube. This is the morning stream. Good morrow, everyone, and welcome back to TMS. It's Thursday, October 7, 2022. I'm Scott Johnson with the triumphantly returning and convalesced Brian Abbott. Hello. Hello. I feel like you're welcoming me back to TMS as well. Welcome back. I know. I know, right? Like a few days down, but you're feeling better, right? I'm feeling much better. I am, as I said in the chat room earlier, I'm probably at about 81%. That's my baseline.

81 is my 100. I can't get past it. Well, if 80, I feel like we're Nigel Tuftall right here. But if 81 is your baseline for 100, why doesn't that just become your new 100? No, you're right. It has to be. So if you only, so if my old 100, I'm down to 80 of whatever that was, 80 is my new. to shift 80's my new 100 and so now i just have 100 and so i i can say right now i am at

a hundred percent but if you'd asked me 20 years ago i'd say i was at about 80 today oh it's a sliding yeah your your your 100 percent was your 80 when you were 20 yeah yeah those days are gone uh but yeah the fun continues yeah uh hey before we even start anything i got to say big thank you to um bobby let me look at my notes here the guys Guy that was in here while I was gone, Bobby Farkin, Farkin, Heimann, Farkin, Farkin, Farker. You know, I never got his last name. I don't know who that dude was. Not really sure.

Anyway, whoever he was, that sexy science Jesus, big thanks to, uh, hey, there's his new YouTube channel, sexy science Jesus. Get that going. Sexy science Jesus. Really? I mean, come on. Yeah, what do you is. If it's not taken.

Oh, it's all right there. I'll bet it isn't. I'll bet it's not taken. I'll bet it's not me looking it up to see. No, I'm not going to check, but I'll tell you what, in today's internet, it's almost impossible to do anything new. I think that that's available. I'll bet nobody has. Oh, that.com for sure. Twitter.com slash sexy science Jesus. I'll bet YouTube is available.

Do it. The TikTok that everybody is talking about. Do it, Robert. Do it. Speaking of which, not really, this is nothing to do with that. My wife and my daughter were going through some old stuff of mine, like an old box of, excuse me, old letters, sketchbooks, high school stuff, all the way back to first grade stuff. I found some math that I drew on,

which explains a lot about me when I was in first grade, first grade. Anyway, we found something I have to share on the show today, all right? Not only do I have to share it, I have to do this behind it. All right, this just feels perfect to me. I'm not going to do it in that voice,

but this just feels like the right backing for what I got. So they found this letter. It's addressed to me. It says Scott on there and a two-tone color design. All right. Two-tone, okay. It's also got writing on the back, but that's a P.S.

From what's actually in the letter. Wow. Okay. She many Christmas. This is from a girl who and I now, she only signed it as me, but I'm pretty sure this is a girl I knew named Michelle, who I briefly. I like that you're only pretty sure. Yeah, I'm not 100% sure.

But the reason, well, I'll get to why, but there's a reason in here why. So I'm going to read this to you, Brian, and I don't know, see if this reminds me of your heady days of teen years, okay? Okay, all right. Scott, I just want you to know how much I love you. And what I say, sorry, love you. And what I say are not just words. I don't think that's good grammar. What I say are not just words.

She should be the words I say are not just that. Yeah. Well, words is plural. So, uh, but, but what I say is the, is the direct object. So what I say is. Yes. Is not just words. Because what you say is the royal what. Yeah. Right. It's the larger what. Anyway. It's the, it is the, uh, the object of the verb. The verb is is what I say is. There you go. Not the words. Words is what I say. you'd say words are what I say. Yeah. See, this is good. This is all good that we can remind people and correct this. It's too bad you know who she was. You could have sent it back to her with corrections.

So it says, let's see, the things I tell you are what I feel. And it comes from the heart, except who I'm mad at. I say things I don't mean. All right. Anyway, whatever.

I just want you to know what you want. I want you to know what you want. Don't feel people. pressured by me, okay? My parents and I, well, we had a really good long talk last night. And I am free to make my decisions about you. She spelled decisions, Ron. She spelled Deccions, for some reason. Oh, no. Decians. My decisions about you and about everything. When I told you this before, I didn't feel that it held true, but now I know it does. It was a pretty intense conversation last night and everything's worked out. I want to talk to you about it. When we do something next week,

Is that okay? I don't want to force you to stay with me. I don't want you to decide what to do and feel good about it. Or I want you to decide what to do and feel good about it. If you want to go after Kristen or Michelle or whoever. Oh. Don't feel like I'm stopping you, she says. Okay.

So it's not from Michelle because she name checks Michelle in the letter. I think it's another Michelle. I'm not sure. Oh, my God. You had this deep conversation you'll even remember. I don't remember any of this, honestly. Says, all that I just said, I don't take it that I'm trying to be rid of you. I'm not.

Scott, I love you more than anyone. Sometimes it hurts so bad to be away from you. I want you to hold me. And I need to feel loved that you care. I'm so sorry for hurting you. I never meant to. And I never meant to put you through so much pain. I can hear it in your voice.

And I can see it in your eyes. I hate what I've done to you. I don't remember what she did to me. Wow. I've brought you, let's see, nothing but misery, but you've brought me happiness. I was so bitter and cold when I met you, but you stuck with me and created love and compassion. I am capable to give. You've changed me for the better, and it hasn't, sorry, and I haven't given you anything but a list of pain and sorrow.

I'm so, so, a list. A list of pain and sorrow is not working for me. It could be an album, though, a list of pain and sorrow. The new Alanis Morse said out The list of pain and sorrow Yeah highly anticipated follow-up to her best work Anyway, I'm so, so, so sorry, Scott Whatever is best for you I want you to do

Stop thinking about me And what's going on And what will affect me You do what is good for you I want you to be happy I want you enjoy life And if I'm stopping you, then do what you have to do I'm not saying goodbye

but I want you to do the right thing for you right now if anyone ends this it will be you oh that's that's a red flag uh nothing is against us but you are in control you decide all I think about is you and I miss you already and I haven't sorry even left you but I but I still miss you at Lake Powell I am thinking of all I'm thinking about is you and I dream of you holding me and feeling your touch It helps me sleep I don't know if this is just At LP Oleg pal

But all the time Every time I close my eyes I see you Sometimes I think about you so much It's like you're right here next to me I feel what you feel I can feel what you're feeling I probably had gas

Is she feeling that on to page two It's almost over actually So here we go Page two Even when Even when you're not Near me. I love you. And if you don't know that by now, I don't know what else I can do or say. Wednesday, I didn't want to get away from you. I was just the opposite. I wanted you to hold me and touch me because I need that. I need to feel loved. I've been fighting this inner battle with myself. You see, I've told myself for so long that I'll never love anyone or let anyone into my world. For four years, I've trained myself to not love and get emotionally involved. And that was bad. Hate is bad.

To love and to be loved is the right way to feel. And I've finally realized that. For so long, I have held up barriers and never allowed myself to fall. But you broke through and you've won. I'm just afraid that it's too late now. Scott, I love you so much. It hurts. I want to see you before I left.

But since you left before me, that kind of got messed up. Oops. I don't know why that's so funny. there's there's like logic right there's some good logic there uh she goes on to say we really are almost done i just wanted to kiss you goodbye not forever i'm not leaving but i just wanted something to remember about you that was good and not all of this fighting and pain i have so much to say and i want really and i want to tell you everything that has ever happened to me all the good things all the bad things i want to hear about you and the things you're going that are going on in your life i want to be involved in your life not just someone who can say yeah she's my girlfriend i want to know about the decisions you're making about your life and i want to feel a part of your world i want to give you what you've given me love and love and more love let me in please i keep smelling oh here it is i keep it's sorry i need to finish that sentence i keep smelling poison that's the name of the perfume i wore in

Branigans. Now, this is now, this is a hint as to who me is because when I worked at Branigans, there was a girl there, two girls there named Michelle. This is one of the Michelle's. Okay. Could you maybe figure out from which one you held at Lake Powell for a whole night? I didn't go to Lake Powell at all. She was there writing this letter. That's where this came from. Oh, gotcha. Okay. And I don't know who, I don't remember who I was with. I don't remember this at all. It says, I love it. Do you like it? I won't buy it if you don't like it. Tell me, Okay. Scott, here's how we finish, big finish. You're the most awesome, sexy, good-looking, funny, insane, sensitive, loving person I've ever met, and I love you with all my heart. I'm not lying. Trust me, okay? Believe me when I say I love you is true. Have fun. Do what you want. I love you. Me. Signed Taylor Swift. I think I'll write a song about this.

So here's the best part, the PS that starts on the card. And ends on the envelope. Where's the envelope? Okay, here we go. P.S. By the way, yeah. From 0.1 to 0.100 on this letter, from start to finish, absolutely nothing has been resolved. Or like, there's been no advancement of the story.

It's all like, I like you, do what you want. I love you. But don't let me hold you back. but I think about you all the time. But if you want me to leave, I will, but I'm not leaving. Exactly. Yeah, it's like, well, okay. Yeah, this is just, you know, it's high school, whatever.

Here's what she says in the PS. I'm not saying goodbye. I just want you to be happy and do what you feel is right. I love you. And then over here on the envelope, PPSS. Scott, I'm sorry I didn't get this to you Sunday night, Monday morning. But there were some problems that I had to deal with and I didn't get quite work out. Yeah, you left before she did.

Please don't be mad at me. I'm sorry I tried. Oh, well, I'll talk to you about it later if you're still talking to me. None of my feelings have changed since I wrote this, and it's still valid. I missed you so much, and I can't even tell you how bad I've missed you. Your sexy body. I love you. Bye.

Signed. Me. That's perfect ending. Was there, was one of the Michelle's, did one of the Michelle's have a last name that began with the letter E? No. No. No. No, that is not the case

in this case. So anyway, the reason I read this is to not, I'm not throwing this person under the bus at all. I just was so struck by the language of high school. Because when I was, I probably wrote her back. I don't have that letter because it sent it to her.

And I probably sounded as ridiculous as she did. And that was just the time we lived in, man. And this really, just, it really brought me back. This is the weirdest, wildest thing. The letter you wrote back, She either has pinned to a bulletin board surrounded by candles and photos of you or ripped up into tiny pieces and thrown into a fire with a lock of your hair. Exactly, right? Like, that's what I worry about.

Oh, this just in. Carter handed me a follow-up. Oh. Dear Scott, I heard you reading my letter on the show today. Do what you want. Oh, here it is. Okay, I'll read it. This is a follow-up letter from me.

Well, not me, but her. not me. Oh, okay. But the one signed me. Scott, I want you to know that I feel for you and understand. I just wanted to be with you and I need you to hold me to. I want to be here for you and I am here and I love you and I want us to go out Friday. Because I owe you some thanks.

I don't know what that means. It goes from very ethereal to, very specific. Yeah, it's all very practical. I want to go to the Chi-Chi's on Friday and sit in our booth. I'm in the mood for Mexican food. Anyway, I love you more than the stars and the sun. Let's see, Scott, I'm thinking of you right now. What I'm, uh, what am doing?

I'm thinking about you all the time. Please talk to me. I know you're just crying. I wasn't crying. Aw. And I'm in pain. I hurt when you do. But you don't believe that, do you?

Please trust me. I love you. And then a ton of hearts signed. Oh, wait. Signed. E! E! Read this when you get home.

Trust me. Promise me. please and then it's folded up and probably sat in my pocket all day anyway there you go fun throwback everybody 1986 probably that was 85 86 please

please tell me you're you know you you have a box full of the like am I the only one I've got a shoebox a new balanced shoe box that is full of stuff like this like old prom pictures that we could certainly put

to a lot of film sack audio clips, letters, stuff like that. Absolutely. Don't never get rid of that stuff. Yeah, I'll never get rid of it. The cool thing is the reason this came up is Taylor has had this box for a few months.

And the reason she had it, she went in and scanned everything. Did you scare all these, too? So she's got all of this stuff scanned in and like pictures and all that. Just in case, you know, you got a digital backup of everything, which is great. I'm glad she did it. And then brought the box home. and then this is why Kim cracked it open this morning and we were all sitting around the couch looking at it.

But anyway, hope you enjoyed it, everybody. All right, one more thing. I'm trying to say, like you said, all these old prom photos, homecoming photos, stuff like that. I don't have the permission to put those online from the women I was with. Yeah. Oh, I've never put them online.

These are just like, it's on a hard ride. I know, no, no, I know. But I want to. Yeah. If I just black out, like, do a little bar across their eyes, Is that tough you think? You could do it. Or just block their head entirely. Just cut their face out, you know?

Yeah. I think it'd be fine. Like this letter, wherever Michelle is, whichever Michelle it is, I would love to like, she'd be mortified that this even exists, like, that this is a thing. Because we're kids. I'm mortified about 90% of what's in that box. I'm reading some of the stuff I wrote. That's the thing.

It's like, I'm reading this like sketchbook. I said the stupidest stuff, Brian. Oh, dude, you and me both. like, you know, stuff that I thought was poignant and, um, and, uh, romantic and just well written and punctuated properly. Yeah. Um, neck in those days. I'm looking at it now.

It's like such, such cringe material. So, yeah, it's, we, we all had our moment and it was what it was. Um, yeah. And I'm not, that Claire says, why don't you just ask them if I can put the prom photos online? Well, um, one of them has gone full maga. One of them sadly passed away a few years ago. I'm not in contact with probably three-fourths of the women in that box. I don't remember.

I don't think I have contact with almost everybody from back then. I just don't have a maybe one or two people. Yeah, I'm trying to think actually. Something like that. Yeah. It'd be great if this person, I mean, this is an impossibility. Oh, what is listening? Yeah, it's an improbability.

But if they listened and heard this, love to hear from you. love to see where you're at how'd your life go remind me which michel you are you know amy suggests by the way i just photoshop your head over the the women's heads perfect that will never no one will ever know let's do it that's a great let's make it happen um but yeah you know you're 16 you're your brain's in a weird place yeah exactly it's what you do and it was fine and i'm sure i'm sure whatever sappy replies i sent back to her were equally as cringy i wish i had them I'd read him here. I have no shame. I don't care. It's a long time ago. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if I would. I don't know if I feel comfortable enough to share that kind of, uh, because it was probably me going like, oh, no, I think about you all the time too.

And that time we held each other in the parking lot of the Taco Bell. Yeah. In the back, in the back of my mom's rambler. Right. Well, the good news is neither. I was not a. particularly intimate with either of these Michelle people. So I don't know. At least not that I remember. So I think it was very, it was like a very pure sort of crush kind of thing.

And I think I missed the signals. I think she was ready to rock. It sounds like. Card, are you listening? That could have been your mommy. Yeah, it could have been. Instead, I stayed a virgin until I got married like some kind of weirdo. Anyway, so there you go. There's a little look into Scott's

Erie past. Let's look, let's look to the future. Yeah. And, uh, I hear books for the future. That's what I've heard. I hear books are a future. I read them well and let them lead the way. Yeah, let them read the way. Yeah, let them read the way.

Yeah. You got to rhyme that business. All right, let's get her in here. This is Amy's time to shine. And of course, we got to play her little theme here. Where is it? Yes, it's time for Read This with Amy Robinson. It's nice to have you here, Amy.

How are you? Hi, I'm cracking up. Thank you so much for that morning laugh. That was lovely. Do you ever sending the letters like that to boys you pined for in your high school era at all? So, you know, yeah, I think I did once when I was, I was pretty young, but I, yeah, my dating life in high school was not great. And, yeah, so I only did that once and it didn't turn out well. Didn't go well, yeah.

So I did a lot of writing letters that I never sent. Unrequited love Oh, geez. There was a lot of that. And yes, it's very cringy. I think that's the reason why I have a fear of journaling now because I, like, can't stand reading my own writing about myself later on. I'm like, ew, that's bad.

You know, if there was a, that needs to be a social media. So we've got, you know, be real. You can only do one social media post per day. And we tell you when you have to do it. And it's a photo. And then we've got this, you know, the limitations of characters on Twitter and that sort of thing. What we need is a social media thing where you type it, you hit, you hit post,

but you're never allowed to read it again. You can't read or see your own posts ever again, only the post that other people put. What if they go? What if they made you read them, though, like in 10 years, you know? They come back to haunt you. They come back to haunt you, yeah. I'm picturing a like a scenario. area where they come up in court or something.

I sure love Circuit City. This place is never going to go under. Yeah. And now how embarrassed did you be, Brian? You'd be so embarrassed. Oh, so embarrassed. Yeah, how embarrassing? Well, look, that was just the time.

We all went through it. It's okay. And they're kids right now writing some dumb letter. They're doing a text, though. It's not a letter. No one does letters. So they're texting or they're writing it on their, I don't know, they're somewhere secret in their DMs.

And then they'll not have those. Those aren't as ephemeral or those are less ephemeral. No, more ephemeral. Like they may be there forever, but you're not going to be able to find them easily. That's a trickier piece of business. I kind of like that I've got this hard freaking paper right here, you know? Yeah.

This is never going to, well, one day it'll corrode and die, but, you know, it's a good shape. I'm hanging on that forever. Anyway. Yeah, that's really cool, actually. I was, I told my niece, I'm jealous because she has a handwritten letter from my late sister. And I don't have anything written in her handwriting, which is funny because my handwriting actually turned out kind of similar to hers, but not exactly right, but you know, which is, I don't know, that says something, I'm sure, but it's, it was just kind of interesting. But I don't have anything of hers that she wrote.

Like, we were well into, you know, email and texting and stuff by that time. And so it was like, I don't, I don't have anything in her handwriting. With the transition generation. That's what goes on. Go ahead, Brian. No, I didn't mean to bring the party down there. No, but I mean, that's, you know, you bring up an interesting point that, you know, that we'll have a lot of this stuff, like the handwritten letters and the notes and stuff like that, that the current generation that does everything via text and online and that sort of thing, they're not going to have a shoebox full of this stuff. They'll have a folder on their desktop with ex-boyfriend photos and screenshots of text messages.

Yeah, if they're lucky enough to have been smart about retaining it, right? Because a lot of that's like on your parents' hard drive. Oh, they've got a virus. Crap. We wipe that drive. Or it died or the C-Gay crash. Or my space isn't around anymore. Right.

It's just a different animal. My kids don't even care about getting like their yearbooks and stuff. I had an old friend of mine from middle school who came over and visited with me and we reminisced and we went through old yearbooks and stuff. And I'm like, my kids don't have that because they're like, eh, I don't. want it. And they don't do the thing where they go around and sign each other's yearbooks. Oh, that was so much fun. I love that. God, wasted a days on that. Like the last few days of school just wasted like a, I'm not learning anything. I'm going around getting autographs and people

telling me, wow, sure was awesome sitting directly in front of you in biology. Yeah, have a great summer. See you next year. Stay cool. Have a great summer. Stay cool. Oh, my God. So much stay cool. Yeah. And also that my favorite was, wow, I really didn't get a chance to get to know you well, Brian. but maybe over the summer, sign Melissa. Yeah. Signs Michelle. Yeah, Michelle. Michelle, too.

Michelle, too. Michelle, too. I know, so there's just funny because we were looking through my yearbook as well, and there's a, my junior year, and my pitcher's terrible, but my junior year, somebody, and now I think it might be the same writing. So I think Michelle did this, but over my head is a thing that says, it's supposed to say angel face and then circles me, but it says, it says angle face instead. And I put this up on, I put this up on TikTok or something so people can say it.

Oh, good. Good. I was going to say that needs to be shared. Wherever it is, that needs to be shared. It's pretty stupid. But now this is the whole mystery is coming together today. I think Michelle was responsible for that. Because she doesn't have it. She doesn't spell very well in any of this. The Cajonese to deface your own picture in your copy of your yearbook that, you know, that she knows is going to be like a permanent record of your, you know, something you'll look back in. in 10, 15, 20 years, 50 years, whatever. Sure. Oh, I remember those days at James Woods High School. The James Woods High School. I have one of those in my, but I did it to my own yearbook. I put, like, there was one year where I had a huge crush on this kid named Brent.

And I put, I like drew in blue highlighter. I drew a little heart around his picture. Oh, let's see around his is fine. Yes. And that, but then the next year, I hated Brent because he spurned my advances. That was, coincidentally, that was the one kid I wrote a love letter. Oh, Brent. What happened to Brent?

You know where Brent is now? Is he, is he out there? Is he, you know. Yeah, I've been printing fertility idols for him. I've seen him. He's, yeah, no, he's, he's done well for himself. I'm not going to lie. Oh, well, well done, Brent.

Good job there, buddy. Yeah. In fact, when we were in high school, we were all kind of wondering if Brent was gay because we never saw him with a girl, but he was surprisingly good looking. But no, he's not, he's married to a woman and he looks like a Ken doll now. Oh, geez. Yeah. All right.

So he did he did all right. As best we can tell, it's all, you know, it's all on the outside looking in. We don't know. Brent could be a psycho. We don't know. But yeah, but the next year you could see where I went back with Penn. and scribbled out my little blue highlighter heart around Prince's picture. Wow.

Was it cathartic? Did you walk away feeling a little better about things when you did that? You know, I was just like, man, I wish I hadn't drawn that on my yearbook so that when I'm 45 and look at this, I won't have to see it. No, but you know what? Now I like it. I like it reminds you of a time. But, you know, it's not like you went into his yearbook that he asked you to sign and defaced his face. Oh, no.

No, no. No. Yeah. That's great. Look. Poor old angle face over here. Yeah, right. You know what the music I should have played Brian for this was this. This sounds more like our era right here.

Hold on. Where's the volume? I'm getting letters. You know, little synthy, 80s music, getting letters from Michelle. Michelle 2 or whatever her name is. Anyway, maybe she'll pipe in. Who knows? Maybe somebody knows her.

If you do, let us know here on the show. You can email us or send us a text. Make sure to take you over. It will meet you at Clare's at the mall. And then after you get your ears pierced, we'll go get some. Barrow. Oh, my gosh. There are still Clare's.

There's still Samarros. Yeah. The true icons of the 80s live on, baby. They don't go away. The blockbuster video would die and Clares would still go on. It's pretty weird. Hey, Amy, I've got a text that someone sent you that we're going to start with. Do you want to hear this real quick?

Oh, yeah. I'm going to do this real fast. Hold on. All right. Good little theme there. This is for Amy. It says, for TMS and Amy's read this segment, could you please do an idiot's guide to Kindle's and e-books.

What model to buy in time for cyberpunk? Cyber Monday. And the best way to get e-books. Can they actually sync with audiobooks? Is Kindle that much better than a phone? Thanks. Eh. And then it says Road Rash in Canada.

Oh, no. Oh, A. Thanks, eh. Yeah. It's just, he did it as a question mark. That threw me. It's just normally. That's how they say.

Thanks, eh. Thanks, eh. Is it a question, though? Because it goes up. It's not, thanks, sir. Yeah, but it's not really a question, though. It's just an emphasis, right? Like if you say...

Yeah, because you want to respond with, yeah, thanks. Thanks, eh? Yeah, thanks. I never thought of it that way. If that's the case, I never thought of it that way. Well, anyway, Road Rash. So, Amy, you've talked about this before, but yeah, they do famously...

That includes the app on your phone, by the way. They will sync to where you were in an audiobook version of it, no matter where you read it, either Kindle app or Kindle device. Right? I think that's true. Yes. Yeah, so Audible and... and the Kindle app slash device will sync up with WhisperSync. And it does a pretty good job.

Sometimes I have trouble going from one direction to the other. Like if I've read more, let me see. If I've listened to more of the audiobook, sometimes I will have to fast forward some in the book to get it caught up. Like it's a little bit delayed. But it usually does a pretty good job of syncing those up. As far as like what model to get and everything, I'll have to do a little bit of research and get back to you because I have had my Kindle for a very long time.

I have like the original Kindle paperwhite, I think. And it was actually Chuck's old Kindle because Chuck got himself a new Kindle and that I got his. There's brand new ones too this year that are the Paperwhite line specifically. And apparently they're really awesome. I've heard nothing but like rave reviews about them in terms of the display and the refresh and all that. I love the paper white because it's not at all like looking at a screen. You know, it's, it gives you that very like, oh, it, you know, I'm, I'm not flashing blue light into my face right before bedtime kind of thing. Yeah.

Yeah. I do like it. And the backlight, the way they do their backlight on it doesn't feel like, um, it's not too much. It's like a nice, I don't know, it's hard to explain. It just feels like paper that has a little bit of light on it. Yeah, it's great. The one caution I give people when they start. reading thing on, you know, start reading books on Kindle or e-readers in general is that you'll get

used to things like being able to pinch and zoom and real books don't do that. And then the first time you do it, you feel really silly. Oh, it happens to me all the time. I was drawing, I was drawing with Van the other day. We had crayons out doing big paper stuff. And I was doodling and I screwed up this dragon I was drawn for him. And my hands immediately went into Control Z. mode. I was trying to undo and I couldn't do it. And I tried to pinch and zoom at one point. That is some weird habit going on there. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It's all just muscle memory and everything. By the way, I'm sorry, Brian, I did not tell you this, but I'm glad that you're feeling better. Oh, thank you. I meant to tell you that when we first got started, but I was so distracted by Scott. By Michelle. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Look, Michelle 2, when Michelle 2 has something to say, Brian's illness goes away. See it rhyme. Exactly. It's true. Michelle Aday keeps running through this away.

Very nice. All right. Let's launch into the point today. By the way, so Road Rashing Canada, we're going to do a little looking because I know there's new ones and I don't think we can give you a good answer until we kind of dig around. So we'll let you know. But I will definitely do that. I have written it down here.

Nice. Next week, we'll do a follow up. That'll be. I'll put your recommendation on quicktms. L.I too, so everyone can find it there. Oh, yeah. That's great. Once you've got it.

Yeah, yeah. Let us know. We'll talk about it next week when you come on and just do a follow-up. That'll be good. All right. Let's see what we're doing this week. We got a clip here. Do you want me to play it?

You got anything to say about it? Let's go ahead and just start with the clip and then we'll go from there. All right, here you go. No more dolly mopping, Sybil, Mick said. One of his pronouncements, something about which he'd made up his clever mind. Sybil grinned up at him, her face half hidden by the blanket's warm edge. She knew he liked the grin, her wicked girl grin. He can't mean that, she thought.

Make a joke of it, she told herself. But if I weren't a wicked dolly mop, would I be here with you now? No more playing Bobtail. You know I only go with gentlemen? Mick sniffed, amused. Call me a gentleman, then. A very flashed gentleman, Sybil said, flattering him. One of the fancy.

You know I don't care for the rad lords? I spit on a Mick. Sybil shivered, but not unhappily, for she'd run into a good bit of luck here, full of steak and taters and hot chocolate, in bed between clean sheets in a fashionable hotel, a shiny new hotel, with central steam heat, though she'd gladly have traded the restless gurgling and banging of the scroll guilt radiator for the glow of a well-banked hearth.

And he was a good-looking cove, this Mick Radley, she had to admit, dressed very flash, had the tin, and was generous with it, and he'd yet to demand anything peculiar or beastly. A lot of British stuff in there. Yeah, so this book is very British. is The Difference Engine by William Gibson and Bruce Sterling. Have either you guys ever read it? No.

No. I need to read some William. You said William Gibson, right? Yes. I have read some. I read the neuromancer years and years ago. Snowcrash is his and the new thing. No, snow crash is Neil Stevenson.

Neil Stevenson? Yes, Neil Stevenson. But the peripheral, is that also Gibson? Oh, yes. And oh, I am so, they just, Amazon Prime just started. dropping episodes of that and it's really really good i haven't read the book but chuck has and you know he's he's very excited about it too because he's like oh everything i've ever seen adapted from william gibson has just been horrible and so he's very very excited about the fact

that so far the peripheral is really good so there you go there's a little oh that's what the Chloe Moretz, Mertice, Morgorts, or whatever her name is, that girl. Yeah. Oh, I love her. I'll see that. It's really good. It's really, yeah. So I'm really, I'm really digging it.

And it's very much, you know, kind of a brain twist. So that's cool. But so the difference engine is sort of a collaborative project that he did with Bruce Sterling. And it's kind of a proto-steampunk thing. It was, it came out in 1990 and, uh, it did steampunk before there really was a steampunk. Um, so it, it presumes an alternate history where Charles Babbage succeeded in making his difference engine. Uh, and it sort of changed the course of that, you know, Victorian era history. And so there's, uh, like the, the, the union lost the civil war. So there's like, the, the, the union lost the civil war.

So there's like three different versions of the United States, but they're only sort of obliquely referenced anyway. Like there's there's the regular United States and then there's the Confederate states. And then there's Texas, which is its own thing entirely. But it mostly takes place in Victorian England. And Ada Lovelace is mentioned a lot. And I was really excited to read this book like, oh, Ada Lovelace. Ada Lovelace, awesome. Because, you know, being a computer person myself, I'm all about Ada Lovelace.

And for those who don't know, she actually worked with Charles Babbage. And she was, she's one of the grandmothers of modern computer science. And so like, you know, she's a very, very interesting historical figure. However, she's barely in the book. And where she is in it, She's sort of presented as this drug addled husband who everyone is sort of treats like this fragile porcelain doll who, oh, yes, she did she did some wonderful work back in her day. And so this is what I kind of wanted to talk about.

So this is less of a recommendation for this book, although I think it's one of those books where there are certain people, I look at them and go, well, I can definitely see why you like it. But I'm going to warn you, any women in the audience, you might not like this as much. It's not, it's not for us. This is definitely a guy's book because there is, you guys have heard the expression like the male gaze versus the female gays. I like all the gays. All the gays can be as gay as they want to be. I don't care. I was like, I knew that joke was coming, but like, yeah, the, the, the, uh, appearance. So this is definitely for male readers. Um, all of the women in this entire book are horrors.

Like, just there's no other way to say it. God, okay. They're all, they're all horrors. So not horrors. They are whores. They are whores. Yes. Like whores, yeah.

I mean, they're all sex workers, all of them. There we go. And, you know, either they're sex workers or their sluts, and they are shamed for it. And there are just the most explicit sex scenes. And they're not, it's, there's no reason for, it doesn't add to the plot. It's literally just, it's just a 1990 sex party with William Gibson and his pal what's his beak do you think this is more that dude or is it more willing gibson's thing i don't because i don't i didn't feel like neuromancer danced around in that stuff very much so maybe it's this

other guy i mean well it did a little bit so that's kind of what i wanted to touch on was like because when chuck actually recommended that i read this book i think because it he didn't remember that much about it and i had mentioned ada lovelace and he was like oh you should read the difference engine and then i start reading it and i'm going this is really dirty Like, what did you give me to read? And he's like, I don't remember that at all. And whereas I am like, Jesus, this book is just completely misogynistic. And like the men stand around less having, it's less dialogue and more just pontification.

And a lot of them talk about, I mean, explicitly talk about how women don't really have any purpose other than with a man. And, yeah, I mean, and like. And literally, like, the main character goes on this drunken bender where he picks up a sex worker and has sex with her like three times and in explicit detail. And one of the funny things I thought was hilarious was they mention that she arrives once and it's in service to complimenting his. Size. Oh, arrives. Got it. Yeah. Got it. No, I like the nebulous term. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm like, okay, first of all, no dude on a drunken bender is having sex four times in one night. First of all, secondly, tell me you've never seen or even heard of a clitoris without telling me. Like, I mean, for real. So, yeah, it, I just thought it was interesting. because when when chuck and i talked about it he was like i don't remember any of this it didn't phase him at all whereas i am sitting there like oh good lord like every woman in this book is a sex object or or like i say is a porcelain doll that because they they reference like i say they

they reference lady ada a lot and at one point the hooker that he's with talks about how uh you know She knows all about Lady Ada and how she sleeps with the entire house of lords. And the main character sits there and thinks, oh, it's awful to think of our Lady Ada, you know, runting and her best not to think about it. You know, like, oh, no, she can't, she cannot be a sexual being, right? You know, but because sexual beings are objects for me to throw away. Right. So, I don't know. It was, it was just, I thought it was really interesting in that, number one, I kept expecting some sort of a takedown of this.

Because like I say, it's set in Victorian England, right? And these were attitudes that weren't uncommon then, right? Like, women didn't have much purchase then. So I kept expecting some kind of a takedown or a this is what's wrong with all. of these characters kind of thing. But nope, nope, it's unironically there.

The women are props at best in this book. Interesting. Despite literally being about, you know, bringing in the modern age of computing a hundred years early and imagining what the world would have looked like had that happened. It's also kind of a McGuffin story. And the McGuffin is a box full of punch cards for a computer,

which is kind of hilarious to me and we never find out what the punch cards do or if we do it's like really later on and it doesn't really move the story forward at all you know it's weird I was looking at the cover Marcellus Wallace's punch cards like do they glow when you open the bus? Yeah yeah they are they are Marcellus Wallace's punch cards

that's exactly it. I was looking at the cover of the book the original cover and it's for a hot second I thought oh did H.I. Geiger do this HR Geiger does very similar artwork now it's some other guy. I think he kind of ripped off Geiger or Geiger. I still can't remember to say Geiger. Yeah. It's kind of a. Oh, you're looking at the one with the eyeball? No, it's a bunch of like, here I'll send you

an image. Because I'm looking at like the, the different versions, the hardcover versus the Kindle. Oh, yeah, look at that. Wow. Yeah. That's so different from the... I think it's kind of neat the artwork they did because I've got like these Victorian columns and then surrounded by all this you know hard metal machinery yeah but it's but it's sexualized hard metal machinery like it's yeah it's the yeah it's the it is the giger style of yeah which i'm always i don't know i have a love for that style even when it's just someone being inspired by it but um but i am a little bummed i mean you know it's easy to go well it was 1990 and you know they're also looking at some dystopic remember but it's easy to explain it away basic instinct yeah right yeah i feel like i feel like

you can do that, but that only goes so far for me. I'd rather the authors have some... He has so much forethought in terms of the future and technology. When he came out with Neuromancer in 84, that thing was unbelievably correct about a bunch of stuff, including

the internet and all kinds of ideas. He's almost prophetic in that way. Well, if he's got that kind of futurism in his head about the state of technology, it would be nice if he had some of that about the state of men and women and gender roles and, you know, women in general, like, they'd be nice if he exhibited some

of that at the same time. But, you know, what are you going to do? I get it. Yeah. So, but it's, it was just interesting to me, because I went on goodreads and looked at some of the reviews. And invariably, all the women who reviewed the book gave it like one or two stars. And the dudes, you know, were more favorable. Although some of them were, you know, in the, in the, in the, a three-star range or whatnot. But there were some guys that just raved about it, you know. Apparently, William Gibson gave an interview about this book and said that he and Bruce Sterling had been researching Victorian era porn and they just thought they'd try

their hand at it for those, you know, those scenes in the middle that serve no purpose for the plot whatsoever. They don't move the story forward at all. It's just 20, 30 pages of this guy getting his rocks off with a hooker. I mean, really, it has no purpose at all. It seems like a lot to me that they would put that much in there, but I, like, I just thought it was interesting that like, to think of it in terms of what we see, you know, as human beings, right? Like, and what, what women will see. And of course, I, I don't mean to be exclusive at all as far as, you know, gender and whatnot, you know, are our trans and non-binary friends. feel free, chime in, correct me on any of of these things that I'm saying.

But, you know, it's funny to me how women will read these things and feel like, oh, okay, well, I guess this isn't for me. Yeah. And whereas men read them and they, you know, that just kind of washes over them like, yep, yep, okay, dudes having a good time. Now, you know, like we're continuing with the story and then it doesn't, doesn't even phase them. So I just find that really interesting because it was clearly written for a male audience as opposed to a female audience. Sure. So, yeah, I just found that interesting that guys can read stuff like that. And I think maybe that speaks to a lot of why some guys feel like, and there's been a lot of our sort of nerd culture is gate kept by guys.

Because if this is the kind of stuff that they're reading, and clearly, like, women are not going to enjoy this, right? And so woman shows up and says, oh, I like science fiction. If this is the stuff that they're reading, I can see why the guy is going, oh, unless, you know, unless you like reading, like the denigration of women, I don't believe you. You know, because, like, this isn't, this isn't, this isn't. written for women, right? It's, it's not written for a woman's gaze. Uh, so I don't know. I just, I just thought there was some interesting, interesting jumping off points. Sure. From that for me, you know, because you can kind of see like a lot of times, you know, I mean, we all see it, right? Like, I know, Scott, you've dealt with that a lot on Twitter and whatnot, like idiots coming back and saying horrible, misogynistic things. And you're like, oh, you're a dumbass. Um, and you go, what Why do you think this way? Why do you think the way that you think?

You know, why is your attitude that, oh, well, women don't like comic books. Women don't like science fiction, right? Women don't like these things. I'll never actually understand why people do that. Like, it confuses the hell out of me. I just know I want them far away from me. Oh, for sure. Yeah.

Like, oh, thank you for telling on yourself, blocked and move on. Go away. Right. Exactly. Yeah. Thanks for identifying yourself, yeah. Right. But I found this book interesting in that, I mean, this book won a Nebula award, right?

So it's interesting to me that this can be like considered just mainstream science fiction when, you know, clearly it's kind of male fantasy porn, at least for the middle chunk of the book. Sure. And it's not a, it's not a short book. Yeah. And, and so if this is what those dudes are reading and consuming, and, you know, it goes into comic books as well, right? Like there was the whole spider woman. Oh, yeah, the cover. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. That was a big stink. And, and, you know, you're, you're edgy, you know, like, and, you know, there was that whole series where it was like, oh, if, if men were posed on comic books. the way that women are, you know, and it was like this silly, like, Captain America with his coquettish pose, you know, that kind of thing. And it points out, like, how ridiculous these things look. And so I think if that's what those guys are consuming, then I can see why they are skeptical that women would enjoy that type of fiction, right? Does that make sense? I'm

just babbling? No, no, no, I think it makes perfect sense. And I think it's, it might be a great topic. for with Wendy one day but um you know why people why they as authors felt strongly about that as a question only they can answer um but how we react to it is is also an interesting question and you know i don't know i think it's i think this is all worth bringing up it may be just like an excellent science fiction novel with some like very unfortunate middle bits that they you know they could blame on the time or they could blame you know or say that well we really experienced the way they described that we wanted to explore Victorian era mores or whatever, sounds excusey to me. At the very least, because I understand, like, the context matters the most.

Like, if you're going to write a bunch of stuff and it lands like that, if you're going to make a movie like Unforgiven and you're going to have sex workers that work at the saloon, as is the stereotype of the Old West, fine, but then build some context around it. also looked at the effect of it dig deeper and that's what that movie does really well it doesn't just say oh here's a surface level these are hookers we that they don't do that they go deep and they these these are women with lives and their own personalities and their own struggles and their own reasons for being there and or not not wanting to be there but having to be there like all of that and the men around them are a mix of terrible to honorable and like you can explore those things in a way that that is contextually good, right?

It leads to understanding and whatever when you're telling your story. It sounds like this one didn't do that very well. Exactly. And yeah, it's the difference between, oh, you know, a man is a three-dimensional character with, you know, and is allowed to have flaws and

grow from those flaws, etc. The woman is a cardboard cutout, you know, who is there for scenery. We started watching Westworld. It's interesting you brought up the I realize I'm late to that party but I'm excited that I'm late to that party because now I have tons of it to watch yeah it's really good in binge form by the way that's the best way to watch it is binge so you're good oh yeah but like you know and and that

occurred to me too because I was we were watching it last night and I was thinking about you know they're they're in this cat house right but in usually in the wild west you you have like the the proprietors of a house of ill fame as it were uh there's usually very empowered women these are i mean they call it the oldest profession for a reason right like these are these women are yep this is just what i do and oh honey you know you're just a means to an end to me you know like hey you know there's always a cost what is it she tells the guy you know there's always a cost it's just that our costs are posted on the door um you know but but it's kind of like in firefly right like the you got your companions and then there's

the episode where she actually goes to the cat house and um you know they're they're all about taking care of the women that are in their charge and they mean business you know um they they are not as uh as these authors would term them dolly mops uh which by the way is a hilarious term i had never heard i had never heard that i have never heard that before in my life um but yeah apparently that's what they called like you know when of the night in Victorian England. They were called dolly mops. Dolly mops.

I kind of like it. We've got to get back to that one. I like it. That one's fun, but maybe not for them. Anyway, well, fantastic. Read it at your own risk, basically, is what we're saying. Or, you know, know these things going into it. And then...

The book was The Difference Engine by William Gibson and Bruce Sterling. There you go. Very British-sounding people, except William Gibson's from South Carolina. All right. Very nice. Anything else you'd like to share with us before we move on today? Well, thanks so much for having me. Always.

It's a pleasure. And if you're looking for Amy in other places, she's Red Fraggle 3 everywhere, all places. All right. So I don't care where you're going. Whatever social network it is, whatever. Red Fraggle 3. Except in Marvel Snap, you didn't have to do the 3. You got E.

Oh, that's right. Yeah. In Marvel Snap, I just have Red Fraggle. So once they make it so that you can play with your friends. Yep, I'll play with you, although I am, as some, I saw someone say in the chat a couple days ago, I am pants at that game. Pants? So I'm looking, apparently that means you suck at it. I've never heard that term pants at something.

It's still super fun. And, yeah, you're either cracked or your pants. Like, that's the apparently. Then I think I'm closer to pants too. The slang that people are, you guys like, my son said something about like, oh, yeah, I have a friend who's absolutely. at that game. And that means you're good at it. That does sound British. Chat says it sounds British. It does to me too.

I'm absolutely pants at that game. Like that, I could hear that. Although they, I don't know, trousers maybe. I don't know. Yeah, so Ryan, I'm looking for it. If you're feeling better, I'm totally up for whenever you are. If you want to do a stream where you can like give me a tutorial and maybe I won't be so pants.

Do it. Maybe you'll be less pants and more cracked by the time you're done. Right. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Sounds good. Let me be doing a dry run today. We'll talk about that. But Coverville today, since I haven't had any time to prepare,

is going to be a Marvel Snapstream because I've been resting all week and haven't had time to get any music together. So it'll be a dry run for me to do an actual Marvel Snapstream. And if it works out, then I'll get you in for the next one. Nice. Yay. Well, I will look forward to that. Watch for that, everybody.

Amy, we'll talk to you later. Have a good one. All right. Well, Brian, we've come to the part of the show where we have to take a break And when we come back, my sister, Wendy, will be here. We're going to figure out why I dream the way I dream. Oh, my gosh. Will there actually be answers to this question?

I don't know. I don't know. But she's down for it. And gotten other people who've written in here and there saying, oh, same thing. I sleep terrible, mostly because I dream weird. We're going to find out what that means to be restless dreamers. And if there's anything you can do about it from a psychological standpoint, before that, though, a song you've selected from your vast list of songs.

Yes. Finally, getting back to an indie in the middle here and an artist who goes by the name Losh, I think. It's L-O-S-H-H. And this is a brand new EP. He's a very enigmatic performer based in London. And this is his sophomore six-track EP, which is called A-C-O-L-E. And each of the songs is a letter from A-C-O-L-E. I don't know. Actually, what happens to the sixth letter? Because I only got the single. This is the second song on there, which, if you're doing the math, is the letter K. Featuring Abanjari, here is, I'm sorry, Aban Jayar, here is Lash with K. I did move it's emotional budgets no one can't stop my progress tells me girls get exams and for her money who me has I come clean no one who am me has boss at my bread get thanks cause I'm going ahead yeah it's been a long time since boy call no

Slap, slap to slap talk Oh, yeah And I work right on the shit Channel makes up my own Yeah People walk, people talk People follow, She

I've been climbing High mouth Just trying to reach my own You see I've been at such fleeting grub It's like firefly And never Never let it go

Yeah Let it go Yeah Never let it go Yeah I think movies, emotional budgets, no one can't stop my podcast, just me, here to tell me, I'm going to talk about. I think movies, emotional budgets, no one can stop my podcast,

just me, yet to tell me it's an example about. Yeah, it says before, not say to get, be my friend, can we live nothing, so I show my best of the things for day. That I don't this talk, the spirit is full my body, Devils that try to block me They shuffle They shall fall If you know my story

Nothing I have for soddy My smile it came from struggling My joy they can't destroy Can destroy And my wheels are thorn Come up for a time come Bad mind they want to stop me I go jam them

Jop them Nah kid them Something they never see before If them try to copy Then no rich a tongue See I kid there's something where they never see people If they try to copy Then no reach your talk

I think movies Emotional budgets No one can stop my progress Just me get into an example I think movies Emotion about just no one Can stop my progress Just me

Get examines ago Huh Nice up. That's up. Nice up. That balloon is history. That balloon is history, no matter how much I might want to want to. See, some things we can't change.

And the reason I'm telling you this is because your parents have decided to break up. And there's no way to change that. Billy Eilish always looks like you just told her that you just told her that. told her that you have a podcast Take me around the world One more time This is the morning stream All right, we're back everybody

Remind me who that was one more time Sure, and better write this down folks This is the band Losh L-O-S-H-H from London, a sophomore six-track EP called Akole, and that was song number two, K. By the way, song number six is called God Interlude.

Ooh, scary. But it's cool like dream, dreamy kind of dreamy rock stuff, not dream pop, but kind of dreamy, ethereal rock stuff. You heard that Aurora girl from the Netherlands or wherever she's from? I can't remember where she's from. Not yet, no. Oh, you need, there's a real

earwormy hit she has right now called Cure for Me, I think it's called. Interesting. Oh, no. I'm totally going to listen. She's great. I'm totally hooked on soccer mommy right now. Oh, I don't know who that has that.

Lou's in the Yakuza, who I'll stop talking about because I'm just so in love with that song. That song was awesome that we played. I loved that. Yeah. I can't wait for more. That's all they have up on the streaming service.

Give it a third, fourth, fifth listen, and it's like, it's weird how it just gets its hooks in you and doesn't let go. Yep. It stays. Like a disease. Except not. All right.

Let's get Wendy all up in it. She also gets. her hooks in us. She does. She's been very patient. We'll see if we can't nab her and get this going. If I can find her a little clip here. Here it is.

Hey, look who it is. It is my sister Wendy, a professional in the therapy world and comes here and slugs it around with us on Thursdays. You know, helps people with real problems. Slugs it around. Slugs it around.

That's a term. Slugs it around. I thought about you a bit today because we were going through all this old stuff, old high school stuff and photos and letters and this I read this letter this girl sent me on the show anyway there's a bunch of pictures of you uh in that era and boy did you have the hair to match the time holy cow amazing yep I will never share those without your permission but boy howdy I appreciate that sure the 80s though it was a rough not rough it was a time

it was a time you know it was a time there's a lot of aerosol hairspray yep I if I remember it was that not white rain um oh the stuff you and misha used you could you could aquanette aquinette yeah like cans and cans of aquanette yeah i remember when the ozone was real thin it was all because yeah it was right because didn't they kept that that ended up going away and that went away like the ozone layer healed itself because of the hair because of the stupid hair spray oh the 80s so stupid anyway it's good to have you here sorry for the delay we had a very cool in-depth conversation in our last segment and things got a little out of hand. But it's good to have you here.

We're going to dive right in. So I actually asked Wendy about this one. I had the weirdest, especially lately. I want to say the last couple of months, almost every night without fail. My nights are usually really dreamy, and I don't mean in a good way. Like just tons of dreams,

not necessarily bad dreams, just weird stuff that would make no sense. Like Brian, what was the one where the recent one with you in it? I forgot what we even did. Something happened with you in it. Yeah, what was the most recent one? I can't remember now. That's the other thing is I remember them for about a day and then I kind of lose it,

even though I talk about them. I feel like that's a weird thing. But anyway, the dreams themselves, whatever they may be, are every night and they wake me up every time. And I'm up for a bit and then back to sleep and then a dream wakes me up again and then back to sleep and this kind of goes on from about midnight till like five and then by five I may be able to like actually sleep but then I got to be up at six 30 seven whatever and it sucks Red Link's just reminded me by the way you were watching Skeletor eat my toes that's what it was

Skeletor from He-Man my gosh I know my toes one by one he was eating off my toes one he was very nonchalant about the whole thing Brian didn't care he was so chill in that dream but okay yeah that is the one and I've had much much stranger dreams I don't know why these are happening except I'm going to admit to a couple of things here early and I and I want to say that I've gotten a bunch of feedback from listeners who are similar problem okay here's what I think's going on and then let's talk about it I um when I get into bed it's usually like me going well there's still some things I could do from this from here you know I can pull up my iPad and draw or I could watch the end of a movie I got to recommend next week on the show

or I need to watch Seinfeld with Kim for a little while or whatever it is. But it usually involves, you know, a device with some blue light. Lately it's been my steam deck. I sat in bed last night and played this stupid game called Brotato. It's a long story. But I played this game. So good choices.

It's a very fun game. This is where I think that the main answer is going to come from. I think you do right like right and dead. So that, I think you're not wrong, Ryan. I think you're 100% right. And Wendy's probably going to confirm. But I'm just hoping there's like some tips and tricks here because I don't know why

the temptation is so great for me to like, like hunker down and go, all right, now time for some of this. And then why can't I just go, nope, as soon as I slide in here, head to pillow, I'm out. Let's go. Why don't I do that? I don't know. But I do think it contributes to all this weird dreaming. and yes, it's fun to talk about those dreams on the show,

but I'd like more sleep, people, you know? I don't want bad sleep. Bad sleep leads to other bad things. Answer number one. And Wendy may be, I mean, you'll definitely be the authority on this, but keep the steam deck out of the bedroom. I shouldn't have its dock and charger right there is what you're saying? Don't have that?

No, you really should not. Okay, interesting. So, Wendy, there's your back drop. What do you think? Because I don't think I'm alone. I think this is a lot of people right now. And a lot of people sitting around watching TikTok at night or they're up checking their Facebook feed, whatever.

It's like blue lights all over. Gosh, I wonder why I keep having these dreams that I'm on a cruise ship and there's a cruise director with big teeth who keeps smiling at me and I start the dream hating somebody, but by the end of the dream, I'm fully in love with them. Brian's watching old love boat episodes as you made. Yeah, I was going to say, this sounds, this plot's familiar. Yeah, yeah. so let me ask another question are like when's the last time you eat at night and what are usually eating

we try to finish we try not to be eating anything after seven just kind of a goal that's the thing I worked out with my doctor's she was like one of the ways you can attack this blood sugar thing is is don't eat late at night because it's during the night that you you know your body's it's weird and you overcompensate insulin gets weird and all that so they're so I stop eating um before seven whenever I can. If there's like an event or a special dinner or something, you can't get around it, whatever, those are one-offs. But for the most part, I do not eat anything past seven. Okay. And then when do you, what is, this is going to get personal everyone. What is your bedtime routine? Like, how do you? Bedtime routine goes like this. So it depends on the night. Tell me you brush your teeth. Just throw it in even if you don't. Always, always in forever. Brush my teeth. Should be given. Yeah. I haven't had any cavities since high school. And in high school, I got all my silver, all my dental problems I've had since high school were all Dr. Packer Hacker problems that came out of like bad silver fillings in the chunks like that. So I've been pretty good about that. So anyway, he's a dead man. You're throwing

him under a bus. Is he? I thought he's still alive. Do you die? I don't know. I think he's still. I think he's alive. I think Packer's still with us. Okay, fine. Anyway. Packer the Hacker's somewhere listening. And if he is, he's like 97 or something. He's pretty old. Yeah. So maybe not live. But anyway, keep going. Anyway, should have sued him while he was young. Anyway, the point is. So, okay. So let's say, I'll just try to figure out an average night. Let's say Monday, Tuesday, Wednesdays are the most average for me. The rest of the week's a little wonky. But last night, for example, I come down here. I do a little pre-prep for the show at around eight. Not a lot, but just enough to kind of get stuff going. So by the morning, I can finish it out.

So I did a little bit of that and then go upstairs, feed the dogs at around 8 or 8.30. That's when they eat. And then, let's see, that usually transitions into, I'm trying to just think of like a normal night. There aren't a lot of normal nights. But let's just say it's like, okay, well, around 9.30 or so, I'm like, yeah, time to start just, you know, getting ready to chill or whatever. And so that involves getting to some sweats or something, brush my teeth. like you know you're that you're so concerned about i do that check that gold tooth i got and make sure it's good and it is it's always good um then dogs are put away at nine they're nine to nine

thirty they're put away and sleep and there's three of them that's why these are prominent in our lives right now because three dogs is a lot um then it depends like if uh carters who's still home at the moment or or cam or around in the living room i might sit and hang out with them for a while or just talk or whatever. So by 10, it's, I'm usually, because I like to get, you know, I like to maximize the sleep if I can, even though it's full of dreams and crap, by 10, I'm heading in there and in bed. And that's the routine.

Okay. So that's when the trouble starts as soon as I go. So tell me where the blue light is your phone's with you all the time. Are you looking at it as you're chatting or maybe you're watching? show are you rewarding yourself for all your time with your little medium screen with your big and large screen like what's your um so i i will i will take my phone in there that's where i charge it it's my alarm so i'll you know i'll pick it up and just make sure i've missed anything has brian texted me uh because you've been sick this week so i want to check in on them so i check for that i check on

email real quick make sure there's nothing crucial um that kind of stuff sometimes i'll get bogged down and like you know someone will have started a Twitter thread and tag me and I'm trying to figure out what's going on in there oh that's the worst yeah because then yeah that like that like gets your brain racing and yeah that's not a great bed time angry no no and so I'll do that and then sometimes I'm just like I want to watch stupid videos about cats and dogs so I'm going to watch TikTok for a while and I'll flip through there and then usually it's about then that I'll have this weird thing in my brain say are you going to sleep? or are you going to watch an episode

of that show you're binging like on my iPad with headphones on because Kim's trying to sleep and I don't want to wake her up or do I want to pull up that steam deck and play a game or do I want to go to bed and do I want to go to bed

rarely wins the fight it's usually like How long have you been listening to this show? I know, I know. I know. It's bad. I know it's bad and I don't know I don't know why I feel so drawn to it. It's like, well, you don't know why. Of course you know why.

You've also listened to this show. Yeah, exactly. It's all dopamine. It's just dopamine. I don't think my brain is like a freaking drug dealer then. It's just like. It is. Well, hold on.

So a couple quick things. So you're telling me you go get in bed at 10. Yeah. And then you are, you're doing this. Tell about midnight. Usually midnight or so. Wow. And then I roll over.

I'm making it dramatic. But every day you spend two hours in your bed on a screen. I would say not every day, but you're not that hyperbolic either. I think it's probably close to that. Okay. And if anyone's like, I do that too and feel and judged, I'm mad at you because you know better. Or not maybe does it know better? No, just, okay.

So hold on. So let's just take this from a, from a. a neural perspective, a neural network perspective, you have associated your bed with something other than the two most and only things that should be associated with your bed. Yeah, yeah. Sleep and crackers. Yep, sleep and sexy time. Sexy.

Oh, okay. All right. So hold on. So you have, like Pavlov, you have rung a bell and given yourself some steak. Yeah. And you've done it consistently. I mean, if you think about it's something you've. You probably, because you're getting plenty of dopamine.

You're not thinking of it as a job, but you have trained your brain. There's a lot of neural networks that have fired together and are currently wired together about what you do for sleep before sleep. And I will say this is a relatively new thing for me and that it started right for maybe this is true for a lot of people, but right around the beginning of the pandemics were in the same for me. Yeah, totally. Yeah.

100%. Yeah. So, yeah. So mine was buy giant bags of candy and sit down and watch community with your kids. yeah nice there's far worse things that Brian Brian's like TMS number one community fan he loves that show

I am man love that show yeah yeah and so but you what you do and you and this is sort of like zooming back yeah we have this phrase we use all the time in my field of you know when neurons fire together they wire together

right and so when you take think of it I mean really simplistically right two strands of a string and you, you know, electrically fire between the two and fuse them, right? And the more that's happening, the more neural networks are combining, right? So when anything's hard to stop doing, it's because you are actually getting rid of some fused neurons. So the term is pruning, right? When you don't use something, you know, we say use it or lose it, right? That's very real with the brain. If you don't keep doing a thing, you will lose the ability to do that thing. because the brain's trying to get rid of just excess stuff it doesn't need.

So it prunes the neural networks that are not being used. So you have a really strong neural network with this bed is for entertainment. It's for Twitter controversy. Like you have no, there is no, there is no sacred space in most people's lives that are not contaminated by at any moment being outraged or at any moment. you know some dopamine hit for whatever reason right like that's that's who we are now right and so so this is tricky is carving out space and time where that doesn't exist and the greatest gift anyone can give themselves is to carve that out around their sleep because it is pretty it's pretty disruptive to sleep so so let's take um like a boring night that like nothing

not exciting you just go to sleep you know are you still dreaming this same way or do you feel like there's something connected to this recent shift in dreaming all night? Like you've done this before, this two hours before bed and you didn't have this problem with sleep? Or have you always had? I've always had weird dreams. They're just more frequent than usual. But prior to this, let's say in the last three years, I would maybe have a weird dream that was memorable every other week or something or maybe every five days or who knows. I don't know what the frequency was. But it wasn't, it wasn't every freaking day. This, lately in the last probably month and a half, two months.

It feels like every day. Okay. So is there anything else? Okay. So we'll go back to how to break your relationship with this problem. But like, is there anything else that might have come up? Because this is a really common thing for people's sleep to suddenly be disturbed more than usual. And they can look around and like, I don't know what caused this.

And it doesn't usually have to be something major. It can be fairly subtle. But is there anything that's, you know, change. Yeah, now you say it, I think you're right. I mean, I hadn't really thought of it or connected the two, but toward the end of Taylor's pregnancy, I got, I just felt worried about her all the time. I just worried about her. And she's fine. She's strong, independent, carried that pregnancy extremely well, no complications, like, you know, couldn't have been better.

And then that switched from me worrying about her to worrying about this brand. new very small, very fragile little child that can't do anything for itself. And for some reason, even though I'd, you know, again, went through that with Van pre-pandemic, there's something about all of this happening post-that that just adds flavor to the idea that this is a very vulnerable little creature that we have to protect at all costs. And so I think about that a lot. And then the other thing is Carter's going to, for two months going to Iceland, which I know you're super excited for her about. You've been there a number of times. And she leaves in less than a week.

She leaves Tuesday. And I know I'm thinking about that a lot. And it's not that I'm worried about her. She's going to do great. I'm just, I don't know. It's like this built in like this weird. I don't know. I just worry about your kids doing, they're going places, doing things. It's a foreign country. She's going to be alone. I want everyone to treat her right. You know, all of that stuff. She's an adult now. She can do this. But it's just. still, I think about that all the time. So I think if there is any other small things, small to medium things that are that are weighing on me in that regard, I think it's probably those two things, if I had to guess.

And I'm worried mom's going to die anytime. I worry about that a lot. Just because she's, I don't know, she's really old, not really old. She's 83. Three, four. Three, four. Just turn 84 in July. And she's, you know, got some issues and some stuff, but she's, you know, doing.

okay. It's just I still have this feeling and you're like, no, this is when you work. This is when you start thinking about that more. You plan you. Because you feel like it always hits when things are going well. So it's like you're waiting for the shoe to drop. Yeah, definitely have that feeling right now. And then, you know, Brian, Brian recently

had some stuff with his mom and it made me think about that more. And I've had other friends dealing with their parents. I was talking to I can't, I don't know if he wants me to talk about. I talked to somebody who a lot of people here would know that had a, has a thing going on with a parent who's very close. to check it out and they're struggling.

So I think a lot of this sort of mortality stuff's kicking in in my head. Yeah. Yeah. On both ends of it, brand new baby, don't drop it. 84 year old lady, don't drop it. You know what I mean? So it's like a weird dynamic with that. So if I had to guess, that's the answer to your question that those things are there.

Yeah. That's really helpful because I think there's not a human being. We can't scratch slightly below the surface and we will. find there is something bigger or, and, you know, essential worry about people they love or the world they live in or, you know, whatever it might be, right? And so that stuff's always there. It might get triggered maybe more at different times than others, right? So obviously, birth and, you know, whatever. So in general, you've got this sort of underlying thing. And this is helpful because what you're giving me is what your treatment method is for a problem

you didn't realize you were treating. And I don't mean this even so directly, but we're going to make it direct just so maybe this is applicable to people when they hear it. So if you think about like the more stressed you are or like the more stuff that's got to get done and then I'm going to put you on your favorite social media app, how are you behaving on that app at the time you're really stressed versus the time you're just like kicking it and waiting for someone to come have a fun lunch you know like well just real quick how did have you guys noticed a difference in your use of of that and I'm going to call it a drug because it is use of that drug at different times based on what's going on in your life for me yes but it's been that's been mainly positive

so I I try to only it's hard to explain but Twitter used to be a thing where I I would go and read the public timeline. Like, I want to see what's going on. What's going on with everybody? Oh, this guy's doing this. That guy's doing that. Cool. I'll reply and say good luck or whatever.

Like, it used to be that, I would look at that a lot. I barely look at that now. And what I use it for now, since it's a place I communicate a lot with listeners and followers and stuff, is I will post stuff and interact with replies to the stuff I post. But less so, not entirely no, but less so am I looking at the timeline or interacting with news or any of that. That stuff was really bringing me down during various things in the last six or seven years. And so I kind of got away from that.

So I use it mainly as like, like today, I put up an old picture of me when I was a kid or my, my Playboy magazine comic rejection envelope that I got when I was in high school. And I tried to have them print comics because they told me they paid well and how they told me my interest in their my interest in playboy was warmly appreciated and all that and stuff um we appreciate it yeah so i put a lot of i put a lot of you know i am feeling nostalgic i'll say that these days i'm feeling very like ah the old days you know i don't know i don't know why why all that's coming up part of it is you know i don't whatever time passes and you have to deal with it and it is whatever it is but but but to your to your social media

question. I don't use it in terms of consuming as much as I used to. I use it to put stuff out there. Okay. Well, okay. And so, so that's good. And maybe you're not experiencing, but I think it's very common. And that is when I'm using it as a, it's like, I need a drink now versus, oh, I'm going out with friends for some drinks. Right. It's a different need intensity. And I think escapeism is escapism right i've got to get out of what i'm dealing with or thinking and it can just sort of maybe suck you in and i think what's happening as if if you're regularly dosing things that help you leave the the real feelings you might be having it's just really easy to do that all the time it's really you know and then it's really easy to to build a ritual around it so when i say

what's your bedtime routine you just i mean i think you pee and then i think you brush your teeth but nothing else there is necessary to going to sleep and being healthy on the other end. All the rest is a ritual you have created and then have made it so deep that it does affect your sleep. It does wake you up. It does give your dreams the flavor and the color that happen, you know? And it's disturbing you and making you more sleepy and, you know, and then the vicious cycle continues, right? So, but if you think about, like, okay, what is it essential? So maybe if I frame it like this, what is essential for you to sleep well is peeing and brush your teeth, okay?

Number one. Can you talk about the same time, though, right? Not the same time. Yeah, no, but my kid does it. You're really good. All the time. You're really good. Like a, you know, you got to be a real multitasker.

Yeah, that same time. So I can get in bed for two hours with my phone. Sure, see. Okay. So anyway, I'm thinking of like, what are the essentials for you to feel good are going to be some basics? and then it might be that you're winding down differently. And so I've been telling people to try this for a while now and having some pretty good results of figuring out how much time you want to sleep,

just throw it out there. Like for both of you, what is your best night's sleep hour-wise do you think? Seven, eight hours for me. Brian, seven is typical for me. Like, I'll go to bed at 10.30 and then wake up at about, 5.30. Okay.

So this is what I want you guys both to try, and anyone listening who wants to fix their sleep a little bit is decide when you want to wake up. So let's say you want to wake up at seven and then move backwards an hour and a half increments until you get to about seven and a half or eight, you know, whatever the amount that you want. And then that's the time you should try to go to sleep. Oh, I understand. Oh, good.

Yeah. Move back your start time, not your finish. time. Right. Because what we do is we wake up in the middle of our hour and a half sleep cycles when we're deep in sleep. That's when our alarm goes off or we have to get up. And you feel like you're being, I use the analogy of like scuba diving.

It's like you've gone too deep and then someone's yanking you up and it is not good for you. Right. Right. Oh, because you get the, you do the bends or whatever that is. Yeah, totally. I'm at the surface at 615 because that's my hour and a half increment. and I'm just an inch from waking up or coming out, right?

And then you just feel more refreshed and normal, right? And so if you can get your hour and a half increments coordinated, it can be really powerful. So that's 7 to 530, 530 to 3. Am I doing that wrong? Four. Yes, you know, until you get back. And then when you realize, okay, seven, eight hours looks like this time. So Scott, let's say it's, let's just make this up because I can't do math right now.

Let's say it's 11, like you really should be asleep by 11, right? Yeah, should that would be, that would be the optimal if I could just 11 and I'm out. That'd be getting up at 7. Yeah. Go to bed at. Yeah, and I'd like to do, by the way, I'd like to do all of this without the help of any sort of supplements slash medications, prescriptions. I don't want any of that. No, no, no.

You don't want to, I mean, I don't think you want to supplement your melatonin because you want your body to produce it naturally. Absolutely. Exactly. We get how to do it. Absolutely. So one thing that happens with so much blue light and right. before falling asleep is that it delays the onset of melatonin being released. So that's why you will get taught.

You're more sleepy and stuff like later in the morning. Then your natural release of melatonin that would have happened earlier, right? And so let's just try, can you just try this for a week and see what happens? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I want you to do hour and a half increments. So somebody in the chat room, please do the math for me. If Scott wants to wake up at seven, what time should he go to bed with only hour and a half? If he wants eight hours of sleep, then 11.

11 to 7. But that's, we don't want eight hours. We want hour and a half increments. Oh, we want, oh, right. Does that make eight? So, well. Three, six, no. It should be seven and a half or eight and a half.

Oh, gotcha. Hour and a half. So my brain wakes up. So wait, hour and a half, three hours, four and a half. Is that what you mean? Like eight hour and a half. Okay, gotcha. So the closest would be, uh, either six or eight and a half.

I'm sorry, seven and a half. Yeah. So seven, let's say seven and a half. Let's say seven and a half. So that means 11.30. 11.30. So Scott, do you want to wake up earlier or do you want to go to bed at 1130? I want to.

I'm fine. My brain wakes up at seven whether I like it or not. Okay, great. So we'll just use that. Okay, great. So seven, so that means 11.30, your head is on the pillow. You are, you fall in sleep. Okay.

At 11.30. Okay. So now think of, you just described sort of 930 until, midnight is you getting ready for bed and then just consuming. Yeah. Yeah. That's the current, that's the current modus. That's the current mode, right?

And so we just want to tweak from the 1130 going backwards. And even this, so there's just two rules I want you to follow. One is the half hour before 1130. So 11 o'clock, that is, that is peeing and brushing your teeth. Yeah. Okay. Yep, 30 minutes. It's how long it takes certain men of a certain age.

P. That's a lot of P. So 11.30. So 11 to 11.30, you are prepping for bed. And when you get in your bedroom and in your bed, nothing else happens. Sorry, Kimmo. Nothing else happens. Okay. All right. So you are falling asleep at 1130. And here's the other thing. You cannot get in bed before then. Okay. So no entry. This is a part that I secretly in the back of my head, my dogs are all losing it for some. I hear that. Oh, my God. It's like the fire truck just go by or something. All it takes is one of them to start. And then they're all singing the song of their people for the next 10 minutes. So stupid. Anyway, Kim must have gone somewhere. But so the one sneaky suspicion I've always had is that when I get in there, it needs to be get in done. Like get in sleep. Don't. I know that that's the way. I know it. Like in my heart of hearts, I look at the. bed as I'm about to enter it. And I go, you know, I really just need to get in, put the head down and go. But I, but other voices in my head go, yeah, but Red Dead Redemption 2 ain't going to play

itself. You know what I mean? So I got to fire that up and get a couple missions done and help help old, I forgot his name, help Dutch get the get the team out into Haiti or whatever. I don't need to give these details. But the point is like, I want to do that. So, so, and because maybe it's because the rest of the day was so busy, I had no time for any of my funds. stuff to do, you know, it was all busy with work or whatever. So I've been like, well, I own myself this. And there's a certain comfort when I get in there. It feels good. It's like, I got this on my lap. I got a blanket on me. I'm warm. It's kind of cold out. So it's, you know, I have this moment, probably the dopamine where this all feels great.

But I'll tell you what, at around midnight, when I'm like, ugh, I need to go to bed. I got restless. My legs are restless. I got kind of like tingly crap. My neck's kind of correct wrong so it kind of hurts i can hear my heart beat because my blood flow sucks like the way i was laying or whatever or the way i scrunched over time as i was doing this like i know it every time that it's not going great and yet every not every time but a lot of times i'm like yep i'm doing that again that's the hard bit right so i'm doing this where you just have to follow a rule and you can play your game you can do all those things you just can't do them in bed. Just don't do in bed. Go, you know, play it on the couch.

Get cozy on a couch. Right. Right. Right. Associated with something else. So this is why, like, if you're, you know, you want to spend some time on a treadmill and you never think you have time, tie it to one of these temptations, right? Like, I'm tempted to just play this game. Hold your handheld device while you are doing walking, right, or something. And then what you've done is now you're associating that game with walking. You just are firing some neurons together. And when the first time neurons fire together, they're like, ooh, that was interesting. And you have to build that.

We do a lot of inadvertent building of neural networks, right? Just accidentally. We're not like choosing to, I'm going to just like, I love popcorn. I'm going to sit on my couch. I'm going to eat popcorn. Now I have associated popcorn with the couch and with whatever I'm doing, right? And so if you want to break those things, you've got to stop doing them so that the neurons can prune. but you can associate it to the ways, like being more sort of intentional about your design, right?

So we are going to design your evening routine to optimize your sleep. So we do the hour and a half increments to get you the amount you want. You make some rules about what the bed is for and you keep that. So your head is on the pillow ready to go to sleep at 1130. What you may find is that at 930 when you're normally feeling drowsy and previously you just be like, brush my teeth and going to pee, now I'm aware. wake, let's do this. And then now you're awake for another hour and a half, right?

Yeah. So this hour and a half thing, once you start to realize that you're going to see this happen over and over in your life. If you wake up in the night and can't get back to sleep, it's about an hour and a half before you really will. Yeah, it's about right. Not everyone's that way, but it can be if you're really fully awake. Yeah.

Anyway, so if you could just do one week of this where you bed, get ready for bed at 11, asleep by 1130, and you can do whatever else you want, it just can't be in the bed. beforehand and then yeah follow the hour and a half thing and just see just see what happens okay and then there's one last thing and this this covers the general when we avoid grief or when we avoid our fears or when we we don't know what to do with this stuff and we use other methods to just not have to think about it so existential dread generally right yeah that sounds like i can't stare down that void i can't do this so i'm going to do this instead right so it's understandable and then maybe you don't know what to do with it.

But take your specific examples of the fragility of this cute little baby and mom and, you know, you getting older and, you know, all of those different things. What kind of thing or ritual could you put in your life that allows you to feel those feelings, write out those feelings, address those feelings, communicate about those feelings instead of avoiding them? I mean like you've always said facing them is way better right like if you're oh I don't know like this stuff with mom the way I should deal with it isn't to go oh I need something to take my mind off of it what I should do is lean into checking in on her how you doing mom anything you need

and we're coming by Sunday you know and actually know where we're at instead of fearing where we're headed so that would be the thing to do that This is the worst part about all this is I know exactly what to do. Right. I just still avoid it, you know. But you know, and okay, so there's the avoidance that is because it feels hard. It's way easier than it is than you think you fear it is. That's always true.

But then your time can be filled so quickly by dopamine delivery that you just run out of time to do the other thing. Right? You can see where that balance can get pretty off. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So here's how you're going to manage this. Here, ready?

Yeah, go. I'm making you do stuff this week. Okay. So I want to try something. Anytime any of those feelings arise or just kind of, you know, the thoughts or however you're going to experience it, maybe you talk to Taylor and, you know, you hang up the phone and then you just sort of have this like, oh, that little tiny human in this world, you know? Try something. I want you to either write about it, draw it, say it out. allowed to Kim find a way to like rather than it goes in it goes out right okay so rather than

package that little thought I had in just like go yeah hey by the way for I mean I think I deal I deal with a lot of stuff that way too already like that's a lifelong thing for me is to talk too much about what's going on not too much but you know what I mean like I do get it out um but in this case I haven't in the case of the baby and just this weird existential fear I have for I I haven't said anything to anybody about it, tell the show. And not everything has to be spoken out loud for it to be effective, right? Sometimes just writing it out. Like, you know, how amazing it would be to read your grandfather's letter he wrote when you were born to her, you know, about, sorry, this world's so screwed up.

Or whatever it is, right? Like, find a way to create. And this is a motto everyone should just adopt. is we should create before we consume. So when you talk about your Twitter switch, that really is creating before consuming. Yeah. And you feel better, right?

I do. But that's been a huge improvement for me. Like that was a hard, it was hard though. It took me if, I don't know, probably a week of just kind of pounding away at it and reminding myself, no, you don't want to read the timeline. You want to do, you want to create more than you consume. Right, right.

And so if you think about it, even just in structure, So I'm using the word ritualize or plan or think through. Some of us that does not come naturally for. It does not come naturally for me. But it really is the only way, if it's not planned or it's not structured and designed for your success, it will backfire and you will go back to whatever neural pathways you've already created. And so undoing that is hard. So having the notebook next to your bed is a great idea. Pen, paper, the old fashion way.

The old fashion way. Okay. You know, get an old typewriter. I think we still have some of that around here somewhere. But really what it does is it helps you process and deal with the real thing and do it in slower, slower motion and give you, I mean, if we think of it. So a part of you is trying to get your attention to deal with the thing. And you are, imagine if it was like a little kid pulling on your like shirt like, hey, I want to talk to you about some real feelings. And you're like, yeah, yeah, I'm going to go do this thing.

Bye. And hours later, you know, whatever. So just treat it a little bit like, you know, there's just a part of you that needs some tending to. That's what Van does. When Van wants your attention, he goes, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, pops, hey, hey, hey, hey, like that. Yeah. Good. Yeah.

And that's what it's doing. And it will eventually just quiet down. But it quietes down because, you know, you're in the middle of the movie. Yeah. And so can you do a little of this? It goes a long way. and notice I'm saying not saying get rid of all your stuff

that stuff's fine the problem is it's what you don't do because you're doing that is always the conundrum right I think part of this is the reason I've watched so many horror movies this month I really got into it not not I don't think those are

I don't have any dreams about any of these movies but I think I watched them to have extreme oh gee Ryan that movie but to have this have extreme stimulus that takes that really takes me away from what I'm thinking about

because if you do that well enough like this barbarian movie which is awesome it it was the kind of thing that completely sucked me in which meant nothing else was in my head so I think I finally figured out

why this year in particular I've been like all around For me, I justify it like, well, it's Halloween, yeah, man, horror movies, let's go. And I think really what's going on is it's me going, give me something that's really distracting, you know, which is annoying. And that's where, you know, it's always the irony of I'm afraid of things. So I'm going to watch something that makes me really afraid is that it's like jacking up those circuits and not burning them out, but just sort of flaming them out. So they're not going to be worried about the real things. in your in your life um so so yeah i mean if you can just address a couple of design flaws in

your evening and like give some attention to the stuff you're thinking about and you know you switch those two things your sleep will go it'll it'll it'll normalize all right i'm doing it i'm starting tonight it's happening go ahead i'm doing it i'm doing it and then i'll follow up next week funny right we can live a long time with crappy sleep yeah and so we just and that's then you start taking a pill to make this happen. And then, you know, and we are layering on treatment when, and really what we're doing is just bearing the real causes is that humans are not meant to have exciting blue light in their eyeballs right before they go to sleep.

We are suffering because of that. So there's a way to just tweak it a little. It can go a long way. So get a shot and then, yeah. So next week, regardless of topic next week, we will follow up and see how my week-long experiment goes. I have a feeling. It doesn't, like, I already know it will help.

Like, I already know the pattern that I'm doing now is not a good one. And so this will, uh, yeah, well, if the world could just do the right things because of knowledge, I mean, we have Wikipedia. I mean, that's not the problem. The problem is not knowledge. Yeah. It's implementation. And part of it is this neural pruning.

It takes a minute. And what we like is instant fun stuff. Yeah. I like the term neural. Pruning a lot. That's a cool name. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's in what it does. And they just kind of die off. And I mean, think about something you used to do all the time. You don't do now at all. Oh, yeah. I can like get up quickly or something. Play basketball. Yeah, exactly. Play hoop with my friends. You could go play and there is some muscle memory and there's some things. But there's definitely some brain pruning that has happened. Right. Oh, yeah. And so any skill will go. Any, you know, and this is habits and habit creation and deletion, right? Yeah. So it'll be fun. I'm excited here. And then you have all the pressure. Here's the thing. You have the knowledge, but you also now have the pressure. We're all going to wonder. Yeah. Now you're all going to wonder. Exactly. Well, I'll let you all know as I create more than I consume on Twitter. And I let everybody know what's going on. Just kidding. All right. Hey. Wendy, having you on always a pleasure. pleasure. That's the way dad used to sit. And I should send you some of these pictures of you. I won't put them on the internet. But they're pretty great. Yeah. I think you might. Did everyone notice Scott is pre-requiring consent for posting something of me?

I'm really, really happy about this. Oh, yeah, no. If I've learned anything having two daughters and one son who all get annoyed with me, just assuming everybody wants to see my kids doing things, you learn from that because they're, you know. Oh, good, okay. And also, you know, the hair. And the hair. I'll check it out.

Yeah, I'll send it to you and then you can make that decision because it's yours to make, right? It's your image. That's what I've learned. Thank you. Wendy, have a great week. We will see you next time right here on TMS. We'll see you later. All right, bye, bye, bye.

See you. Bye now. Bye. She left before I could remove her. I don't like that. No, sir, I don't. Okay, well, that brings us to the end of the show today. I got a couple of quick things.

These are texts, Brian, that we received. Ooh, I love that we're getting texts. Yeah, texts are great. 8-01-471-0-462. You can send your questions, thoughts, comments, whatever end of the show. You can still send us emails as well at the more. Morningstream at gmail.com. These texts right here are from a couple of people.

Ian McGee, or sorry, Ian, why did I say Ian? Old man McGee is how he signed it. Maybe he's old man Ian McGee. We don't know his first name from this. It sounds like a Billy Joel song, doesn't it? Old Man Ian McGee. Anyway.

There we were sitting with old man McGee again. See, it fits. It does, yes. It fits. Hey spinach and butterheads, a butterhead lettuce. Is that an actual lettuce? It must be. Butterhead lettuce.

What is your salad dressing of choice for your daily lunch salads that we talk about all the time? Oh, yeah. Good. What do you like? If I'm making my own salad, like, without, that's not one of these kit bags that Tina gets, and that's 99% of the time, it's these bags that's like mango crunch salad or chop Caesar. That's my favorite, by the way, is the chop Caesar. It's all in one bag, all the lettuce, the croutons, the, um, the, um, the, um, the, um, the, the, um, the,

crushed black pepper, the, uh, the dressing, all of it in one bag, you just go, shake them, combine everything. And no, I mean, you still have to cut everything open, put it in a bowl and mix it up. Right. Okay. Toss it. Interesting. But if I'm making my own salad, I'm a blue cheese guy. Like if I go to a restaurant and, oh, what kind of dressing would you like on your salad, sir? I just immediately go, blue cheese. Yeah, you and I are, um, friends for a reason. Blue cheese is my only answer. I love blue cheese. Now, that being said, if you came to me with a good vinaigret or you said, hey, here's some homemade ranch, whatever, I'll eat whatever. Listen, if I'm having an Italian salad, I want Italian dressing on it because the peppercini's, and I'm the guy who

takes the peppercini, and I bite the end off of it, but I keep it upright, and then I dump the spicy peppercini inter juices on the salad. That's how you should, you're absolutely right to be doing it. I forget to do that, but that's the right answer. Yeah, I'm with you, blue cheese when possible. Yeah. Always good. Here's another one about your fried, not chicken. Yeah, so recap, this is, went to a vegan restaurant with Tadpool or Stephanie last week,

and I had bond me tacos with chicken with quotation marks around it. Maybe Stephanie gave you the flu. Could be. Just kidding. She seemed fine. She's fine. She was asymptomatic. Anyway, says, I'm not sure a place needs to tell you anything about the oil they use unless you ask. And I speak from some experience. I'm sure a vegan place would need to use plant oil or worry about false advertising,

but most fast food places don't care at all about cross-contamination and friars. That's been my experience as well. It's why there's always an onion ring of my fried thing. If you can hate that. When I was a kid, that would be a treat. It's like, oh, an onion ring. I'll get it up in here. Oh, for sure.

Like, getting a little, it's like a prize of the bottom of the crackerjack boxes. Exactly. But now I'm like, dude, do your job. Anyway, it says, I used to work at a Burger King for our Jewish and Muslim customers. We would always order the chicken, sorry, who would always order the chicken or fish. So, boy did you go off the rails with that. Yeah, I scoot that up. Okay.

Our Jewish, sorry. And our Jewish and Muslim customers would always order the chicken or fish because they can't eat the pork. Right? They got that one shared thing about the pork. But the chicken, that's, you know what? Find some common ground Jews and Muslims. Get in there, butcher. You both don't eat the pork.

Get in there. Get in there and make friends. Anyway, but the chicken and fish are fried in the same exact friar used for breakfast sausage. And that oil was only filtered every two days, give or tag, never mind being replaced. They made no effort to mention that. And this dirty little secret always made me mad on their behalf. Mike B. from the real New York, you know the one. of the actual nature, he says.

That's an interesting take. I hadn't thought of. Oh, for sure. Yeah, because it's like, wait, you fried this and the same thing that you fried the breakfast sausage? So back in my naive days, Scott, years and years and years ago. 2015, 16, something like that. Just getting good. Exactly.

We had a friend of ours and her boyfriend come over, boyfriend at the time, now they're married. And he also invited his sister, who is a fire dancer, to, join them. Oh, that's when they spin around the batons of fire and eat it and blow it. They spin around the batons that are all on fire. She did in our backyard and was like, oh, that's really cool. And you're going to get a real job. No, just kidding.

And she was vegetarian or vegan, one of the two. And we were grilling. We were grilling burgers and she brought her own vegan burger to put on the grill. Okay. And I made the mistake of using the same spatula to turn our burger. burgers that I used to turn her burger as well, and that turned into an issue. As the burger turns, was she upset? She was upset.

She didn't eat her burger that she brought her vegan or vegetarian burger because of that. And I was like, oh, God, I'm sorry about that. I didn't even think about that. Yeah. Yeah. And Fleming, it's on the same grill. The same grill that I've used to cook a bunch of burgers, that did come into play as well. well what is she she didn't expect you to have another grill she's probably wanted you to wipe it off good she wanted me just to like scrub and and make sure that the spot that I was cooking her veggie burger on was clean from any previous animal fats that might have been on it I feel like it should have been maybe a little bit on her to bring the tools she wanted used in other words like been really a super clear about it yeah be maybe bring a spatula it's like you so I know that you guys

are going to do this because you know what i mean i feel like i'm not saying she's wrong to want her vegan thing my special vegetarian spatula but it was like it was i know it was so it makes sense i get it but boy was it an issue and uh and let me tell you the the fire dancing uh thank goodness she did it before dinner because i would have been involved in the show had she done it afterwards oh she'd have burned you for sure man she'd burn me plus she'd burned no pun intended all those calories and she needed to eat. I get it. I've had my own run in with a couple of those situations before, but nothing quite like that.

We had a guy who was vegetarian, and he was okay with eggs because, I don't know why. They just made an exception for eggs. But we cooked his eggs in bacon grease. Oh, yeah. Which is really good when you're camping. It's amazing. Super good. Like camping or even not camping, that's great.

But he was so mad. So pissed. Just yelled at us. We were out of eggs and he was just so mad. Anyway, John, if you're out there, we apologize once again. All right. Moving on. Let's get out of here real quick. Oh, and those texts, by the way, one more time. 80147.1.47.0462. Send us your emails to the morning stream at gmail.com. Tonight, Core at 5 p.m. We got a big show lined up. So please come and attend it today. If you don't mind, that's at 5 p.m. Mountain Time for the live show. Of course, Core, wherever you get your podcast. If you want to talk video games, that's what we're there to do.

No coverville today, but you're going to be playing some stuff. I'm going to do a Marvel Snap. I'll just do a Marvel Snap stream now that it's on the M1. I can play it on the M1 and makes it a lot easier to stream. So I'll do an hour and a half of playing some decks and talking about the synergy of the cards I've gotten these decks, what makes them work and answer questions. I'll just be in the chat talking.

Well, I'll be talking. I'll be watching your questions in the chat. That's the way it's going to work. You'll ask me your questions in chat. I'll respond. Yeah, he'll respond to your questions in chat. Does that make sense? And you'll tell me how I could do my deck better,

which I have no doubt. You'll be able to provide me some... Yeah, especially if you stream under the category for the game, you'll definitely get some strangers in there who know everything. Noob, why are you playing Electra in that deck? Say, I have a cracking deck. Yours is pants. you're saying you are so pants at this game you're so pants at it cover fraud cover fraud cover

imposter and we knew who came up with that name anyway that's cool that's today one no two what one uh one pm mountain time twitch dot tv slash cover bill there you have it also we have a play date planned for this friday it's that time of the month again but tomorrow i guess um an hour early we're doing it from two to four instead of our usual three to five so brian's got a date later that night I want to make sure to, yeah, make rid of... Tina's fault completely. Brian, don't play too late. I have a mystery date planned for us for five o'clock,

and we need to leave the house by four days. Yep, yep. That's the voice. That's the one. Tomorrow. People at the thing were so amazed, like, oh, my God, you know, this is the first time I'm hearing Tina at the Denver Tadpole meetup. They're hearing Tina for the first time saying,

oh my god she really does sound like that holy cow yeah that sounds right uh we don't know what we'll play but probably among us because you guys all love that and we like that too so we'll do god pretty soon that new VR version uh comes out but i i'm worried that it doesn't support the first quest the quest one uh that's true i've heard this i've heard something similar about that but also i'm worried that what what i want it to be able to do is let people who don't have headsets still play traditional among us and then just because we're we're plugged in this way, we're running around in VR space. I don't know that that's such a disadvantage.

Doesn't feel like it's going to happen, but I would love it if they did that so people didn't feel left out. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. I would like that, but we'll see it. Yeah, there's no Halloween edition of among us, a new spooky map or anything. Unless they're doing an event that I don't know about, maybe.

A lot of games do, but I don't know if they're doing that. If they've done it in the past, then maybe, but I don't think, I don't know if they've ever done that. I don't know. Hopefully you have you ever, yeah. I was playing Overwatch 2 last night. They did a bunch of Halloween shit. I do like when games do that. Yeah, I like that when it happens.

And I think among us would be a great one for that. Perfect, yeah. I mean, you're putting on costumes at the beginning anyway. Hell yeah, dude. There are pumpkin hats. That's true. Yeah. Okay.

All right. Well, anyway, that's all that stuff coming up. So watch for it. In the meantime, join us on Patreon. For all the cool benefits of being a patron here, Patreon.com slash TMS. There's never enough of you. please join up and keep the show on the air.

We'd love it if he did. Frogpants.com slash TMS for everything else. Let's get out of here with a song selection for the end of the show. Brian, what do you got over there? Sure. Well, I love it when, you know, especially when I'm gone for a couple days, but I find two requests that sync up perfectly so I can play one song to sync them up. Alex, aka Racer 951Y in the chat and also in the Discord.

He's a big Marvel Snap player. Says, hey, Space Wolf and Blood Angel. I turned 40 or turned 40 on the 21st. And I've had a love for surf music since I was a kid. So any cover of or by a surf music band would be great. So absolutely. Yeah. Second request comes from Michelle No. 2.

She says, Brian, I can't get Scott out of my head. Can you please play a cover of Can't Get You Out of My Head by Kylie Minogue. Uh-huh. Yeah. That's good to hear from her so quick. Do what you want. But do what you want. You can leave if you want, but I'm never leaving kind of what she said.

Sure. So I love it when stuff like this comes together. Sure. And this, you know, unplanned feels like the perfect song for today, not just for Michelle number two, but also the king gets you out of my head for the whole sleep discussion. No, it's all coming together. And, you know, who knew that she was going to write in on the same day I was going to read her letter from high school? Amazing. Exactly.

No, I'm talking about this song. to do with the dreams that you can't get out of your head before you go to sleep. Sure, sure. Anyway, all right, let's play cover of Can't Get You Out of My Head, of course, originally by Kylie Minogue. This cover is by surf music band Los Fantastikos. The second greatest

Mexican surf music band ever created, of course, the number one being Los Straight Jackets. But here are Los Fantastikos with their cover of Can't Get You Out of My Head. Thank you. You're going to be. Thank you.

We're going to be. I'm going to be. I'm going to be. We're going to be able to be. I'm going to be able to be. I'm going to be. I'm going to go. So,

I'm going to be able to be the I'm not going to I'm going to I'm I'm This show us part of the Frog Pants Network. This show is part of the Frog Pants Network. at frogpants.com.

I want to go deep.