The Morning Stream - TMS 2374: No Context Pumpkin

Episode Date: November 3, 2022

Does your Johnson have a big head? It cost $8 to submit this title. Ibbott's Own Salad Dressing. Razzberry Teet Milk. Headphone Rotation Flummoxation. Do Androids Smell of Electric Poop. Season One Riker Hair. Overpay Retro. Uber Tangent Ride. Dong Wang Check Your Brain. We Could Just Say Goodbye. Does This AI Make Me Look Fat? Pretty But Not Dangerous. Don't You Forget About Me with Amy. There's No Crying in Sportsball with Wendi and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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That's BOMBAS.com and use code audio at checkout. Coming up on TMS, does your Johnson have a big head? It cost $8 to submit this title. Ibb its own salad dressing. Raspberry teat milk. Headphone rotation flummixation. Do Android smell of electric poop? Season 1, Riker Hair.

Overpay Retro. Uber tangent ride. Don, who sometimes goes by Dong Wang, check your brain. Nice. We could just say goodbye. Does this AI make me look fat? Pretty but not dangerous. Don't you forget about me with Amy.

no crying in sports ball with Wendy and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. I didn't ask to be photographed. What did you say? Your face was asking. That's why I took the photo. We know they're in there, but we don't know where. Good morning, everybody. Welcome to TMS. It's the morning stream for Thursday, November 3rd, 2022. I'm Scott Johnson. And I'm pretty sure that's Brian Ibbett.

It sure smells like it. Oh, well, then confirmation. He is who he says he is. Fantastic. Yeah, it smells like a duck and walks like a duck. Well, heck, it must be Brian Ibbott. Hello. He pays eight bucks a month.

He's definitely verified. That's right. I'm a verified checkmark duck, is what I'm going to be. Yeah, that's what you want. I ain't paying. I guess I'm just not going to be verified. You won't know if I'm the real Brian. Sorry, because I'm not going to play that game.

Me neither. Elon. I'm not playing it. You guys are, if you already follow me, you already know who I am. So I'm, whatever. Yeah, exactly. I'm not. I'll just add a blue checkmark to my photo, to my, my avatar that I finally changed after 10 years of using BRAC.

Oh, yeah, that's right. changed that and it threw me so hard. I'm sure it did. I'm sure it completely did. Yeah. I looked at that one. Who's reply? Oh my gosh. That's Brian replying with one of those AI avatars he picked up, which are very cool, by the way. They are really cool. I mean, there's a few in there that are like, what the hell? That does not even, that does not even look like me. There's some with like copious amounts of head hair, like top of the head hair. Yeah. Some that are very buff. Some that are extremely fat. Thank you very much. A.I. Yeah, they really wanted to go some strange directions.

I like your GTA ones in particular. I thought those are really good. Yeah, the GTA ones are really good, yeah. Chat room I made a, one of them, Brian looks like he owns a conglomerate of salad dressings companies. And so we pulled this one and let me pull this up here. So we made a little. It's like all natural brine of it vegetable oil or sunflower oil. Yeah, because look at him.

He's so serious about the sunflowers and their ability to make a quality dressing. plus you have hair in that one I have a lot of hair I've like Yeah I assume I assume that's from Season 1 Riker hair Is what I've got in that one

Totally dude This other one here I'm putting up I'm a little concerned about Here I'll I'll share it here so you can see When I'm sharing This is and I think I sent this to you as well Because I'm just am confused about it

But what do we got on the side there What do we got those two Fallic-looking deals happening? Yeah those are supposed to be like on my back, right? Like in like a thing that I can pull out and attack with. Yeah, like a weapons. But AI has decided that they're like somehow plugged into the front of my outfit.

And it's decided that my, I'm wearing one glove that just happens to have two hand holes in it. I was going to say. I can put in from either side. Yeah. Yeah, this is so you can't, you can't manage your, your collar penis things. You have to have your hands together. It's fantastic. really. It's amazing. It's almost

like, that's like some sort of handlebars for an alternate universe Brian is that's how you control him. A bottom bear or something like that. You want to control Brian, that's how you do it. You grab a hold of those and you go to town. Exactly.

So would you, after doing it, this is Avatar A-I, let's see, Avatar A-I.comme. Dot me. And did you I've been 30 bucks for it? I feel like I got every penny worth out of those 30 bucks. Okay, that was my question.

Is it worth the money? Sounds like it is. I think it is because I'm going to be using these avatars forever. I mean, this is what might prompt me to change my avatars a little more frequently on all the different social media services I use. Why do you think it, why with the sunflower so much, there's so many with sunflowers? What do you think that's about? It's like little patches of eight, right?

It's like, here's eight with you and a sunflower and kind of a Mumford and Sun's album cover design. Here's Let's see Let's pull up my list There we go Here's eight with you And sort of a weird Grand Theft Auto

Kind of thing going on Here's eight with you And some sort of like You're the sunglasses wearing A proprietor of a Life coaching business Now here's eight of you

Where you're kind of I don't know Maybe Chris Angel All of a sudden Oh yeah Here's eight statue versions. Yeah, why are you stats? So you didn't choose any of this.

It just says, hey, here's your thing. Okay. Yeah, it just basically, you know, and this is where I'm curious to see somebody else do this. Because I want to see if they get, you know, same thing, eight sunflower versions, eight Grand Theft Auto. Or if it's like, if it has a selection of clusters that it can do, and it says, all right, for this one, we're going to do the superhero cluster or the, because I saw one guy, the. uncle jesse a 3d printer guy that i follow and just does amazing work who ended up with like an iron man outfit with his head sticking out of it's like hello avatar i me where the hell's my uh superhero eight pack yeah no kidding you fit the the desired demographic for that why wouldn't

you have that sure yeah um some of these i like your king don't understand like it doesn't know how to do a hat no like it doesn't know what hats are it struggles with hats uh your king henry the eighth one is pretty great though with the big collar and stuff there's like a weird hat one that I just posted like it's it couldn't decide if it was going to do a page boy hat or a

fedora and it just said ah how about you're wearing the top of a mushroom on your head I like the middle ages ones where you look like a bunch of peasants that's pretty great those are great like there's one that's like

a you know big hulking hodore looking version of me that's kind of cool actually and some of these straight up look like photos and they freak me out yeah like this tour down the bottom of the list here you start with a hat with the whiskey white hair like the really weird oh yeah what is that about

I don't know and I don't like it at all sir I don't like it one bit yeah but then you go down the next row and you got a really cool hat one in the middle you look cool there I like that yeah that one's pretty cool the side the side view one the hat's still kind of effed but you know and then down below that you're like a horrible

Russian general about ready to sort of dictator with an X behind me and uh this little army one though where your head's tiny I know like I'm standing on a block of cheese with a dog turd in front of me I don't know what's going on there is that yeah what is that oh

these are great one of my shorts standing on a block of cheese it's like I'm a pond yeah you will there's a dog turd in front of me clearly it's got to be here ye here ye we have conquered the west and we've retained their poo here's their poo and your little tiny man this who did this who did it's amazing

all right you know what you've talked me into it 30 bucks totally worth it yeah i want to see your 30 and i want to see what you end up with all right i'm going to grab it today i have i wish i had a oh i have 20 percent off my next door and i wonder if you could use that coupon oh i bet i could or it's not a like give it to a friend though it's probably your own account oh it is yep it's it's yep it's using my email address that makes a sense Yeah. All right. Well, I want to see your, I want to see your 100 plus. I'm doing it. I'm going to make it happen. And then the world will change once and for all. I got a word of warning for people out there. Do we have a warning? Let's see. I need a warning sound.

Warning, warning. Oh, that's pretty good. Actually, I probably do have that. Morning. Intritor alert, intro to alert. Here it is. Warning. See, I got one. There it is. That's it. That's one of one. was hoping for a little uh a little uh swiss family or space family robinson right there i think that's the one from the movie lost in space warning yeah that's the movie one it's too good a sounding thing for the old tv show but anyway uh here's a warning be careful with your patrons and it's not here tms you say if everybody's good no worries okay all right i totally effed up though so on stuff where

you have weekly releases we haven't we have a monthly patron here patreon here at tms but for shows like core and some other shows, I have, uh, it does, it bills per thing, per thing, per drop, right? So, for release, yeah. Right. We can't do that here because that's 16 episodes a month. It'd be ridiculous. Well, we could, but, but we could, but we're stupid and we didn't do it. Yeah. Um, but in these other shows, I have four shows a month, uh, one every week, so we do those as drops. And it works out great. No problem. People are used to it. Um, sure. However, um, play retro for some dumb reason, I cannot figure out. I, I, I kind of want to blame somebody else, but I think it's just me. I mean, I could blame Patreon, but I don't think it's their fault.

You have to remember when you put the drop in there, you put the post in there. You have to choose charge for this post and make sure it's... Oh, right. Okay. Sure. And then categorically, it has to be either public patrons only or some specific tier of the patrons. Well, I always do patrons only. That's by default. And then you have to click that charge for this. If you don't, there's no way to go back and fix it. If it's the same month, you might be able to repost and delete the other one, and I think that might work.

Oh, sure. Delete the post. Yeah, sure. I'm not even sure that does work. But once the month rolls over, because you didn't know you did this when you did it, the month rolls over to a new month, you're shot. You're done. So you can't actually retroactively do anything. So I had to do a whole post explaining our dumb mistake. So somehow, three of the four posts did not have charge for it. Oh, really? Okay. So the whole point of the damn thing. was kind of lost. And so what I did is I reached out to everybody with a post and I said, look, we did, I screwed up. Here's what I did. Blah, blah, blah. And I think I worked out a plan where I can do two fake text posts this month. And then it'll do it retroactively, which everybody in the post was said, that's fine. Don't worry.

We understand. Everyone's been very nice about it. But just keep, if you're one in one of these, click the box. Okay. That's what I'm saying to you is just check your interface. every time you go through it, make sure you click that damn thing and you're good, okay?

Yeah. Oh, my God. So there's my advice. Yep, good, good plan. And people, you know, you guys do have control yourselves to say, cap me at this much per month. Like, even if they release 12 things,

I only want to pay a maximum of $8 or something. Right. And a lot of people do that, which is good for them. It can ding you. Well, we're going to eat one of them, So we're only going to do two of the three in retrospect and eat one of them because I just think that's, it just feels like the right thing to do after effing up like that. So you got a deal for last month. If you're a play retro fan, of course, Dunaway, he's like, ah, don't be so hard on yourself.

And I'm like, yeah, but this is, this is dumb. This is really dumb. Right. Right. I'll try not to be dumb last time. Here's what I also did last night. I decided that the way to relax, the new way, this is the new way. Sure. Tell me the new way, because I wasn't even sure really of the old way to relax, but okay. I know. That's the hard part is what truly is the way to relax. Well, I found it.

I was subscribed to my newsletter and check out my monthly mystery box because what I'm about to tell you is going to blow your mind. Okay. All right. You send your daughter. I feel like I should sit down for this. You send your daughter to Reykjavik, Iceland. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And then her dog, who is used to hanging out with her all the time, climbs on to you and thinks you're the new version of hanging on to. all the time. Yeah, that's pretty good. And so what you do, like a weighted blanket, you have a

Weimariner that weighs, I don't know what she weighs, 80 pounds or something, have her lay on you while you watch old episodes of the Transformers cartoon. Sounds like the perfect way to relax. I like that. Yeah, it worked real well. And I'm going to do it again tonight. While you were doing that, I was lifting people across town, cross, like, both ways across Denver one way back and one way out and the other way back. I picked up, you know, I'm not going to give away any names or anything because I don't want to like blow somebody's HIPAA or something like that. I know that's not what it is, people.

Save your emails. But picked up a lovely, who I thought was a young girl at a mental health facility that I, that is adjacent to the hospital that Tina's parents used to work at. so I know of this facility very well. Not because I was ever a resident there, although a lot of people probably would argue that I probably belong there. But anyway, picked her up and took her 45 minutes across to the

complete other side of Denver into like farmland territory. And she was the sweetest ride, but boy, howdy, was she full of the non-sequiters? It was, oh my gosh, I love your stitch bubblehead. Florida has a drug problem. And that's not a, you know, that's not a, you know, that's not a, a exaggeration.

It was like that was an actual... She was shifting gears, quick. She was shifting gears. Yeah. But, yeah, no, she was super sweet. And if I could, if I could guarantee all my rides would be people like that, you know, people who are that friendly and sweet and talkative and all that, I'd, you know, I'd get. give up everything and lift 24 hours a day. Yeah, you'd never leave the car.

I get it. Was the hospital on a giant hill more of a cliff and it was it to look like that? No, it was not. Okay. It was not. All right. That's a bad movie. I don't recommend seeing it unless you like for a second.

Then I had another, I had a woman who seriously laughed for 10 minutes because during the ride, a friend of hers texted a photo to her of a t-shirt that said, I didn't fart. My butt blew you a kiss. Oh. And she laughed in the backseat. for 10 minutes about that t-shirt. Like, she first told me the text of the shirt, and then she just continued laughing about it for the next 10 minutes.

I think if I got that text, I would probably, you know, have a little, that's funny. You'd chuckle. Sure, right, yeah. I think I would probably, well, I don't know, was there detect any weed, any weed going on in there? Yeah, I think there was, actually. I didn't, I, it wasn't, I didn't smell it on her, but she did go at one point. So weed makes everything funnier is what is my understanding. It's what I've been told.

All right. When I took that gummy in Vegas, you were all pretty funny. You know, I felt like you could have cracked me up for days had I let it. Anyway, so there's that. So the takeaway is this. Pick up nice people from mental institutions and sleep under a dog or watch transformers under a dog that's heavy and warm. Both good ways to spend your day.

Yeah, I agree. Plus I just love your, I love when you have a little. lift story, so. I do too. I wish it was, you know, I wish it was a, you know, a more exciting story, but I'll take it. You know what? I'll, I should be happy that it was a, a sweet story and not like a, oh, you would believe the lift right I had yesterday. Yeah. And I got to say, like driving yesterday, 72 degrees outside, beginning of November, windows down at the beginning of November. Today, snow and rain coming, baby. Here comes. We had snow last yesterday and all morning and it's cold it's like 30 degree 33 is for the high or 39 for the high today we 40 something

for the high 44 for the high for us lame uh and then saturday back up to the 70s everybody yep yep it's a lot love the love the west live live in the rocky mountains is you never know what you're going to get day to day i don't know i'm kind of in the mood for it though make kim made soup you know we're gonna have soup tonight i like this is the time that i like snow because it it's on the grass, it's in the trees, it's on the roofs, and it's not usually on the streets and the sidewalks. That's true. This is the ideal. Yeah, for whatever reason, the ground is still too warm, and it's like, I ain't having this yet.

And it's cool, it's really cool looking. It really is. It's almost like things are decorated or something. It's odd. It's an odd look. That's right. Unlike Charlize Theron's movie characters, it's pretty, but not dangerous. Oh, I like what you did there.

Yeah, see what I did there. Kim did, Kim decorated everything. We got a tree up. We got, uh, all that stuff. It's all Christmas all the time in the Johnson house.

So welcome to the, we're like Costco. We're just putting stuff out way too early. I was going to say, I think you're even, you might be even beating Target at this point. It's what it feels like. You're not wrong.

And she just loves it. She loves the feel of it and all that. We got, she was all excited because she got some new lights for the front. And so she did all that. And then the tree went up. And I just know it makes, I know some people just think that's ridiculous.

but you know part of this is practical part of her is like well if i do it December first then it's only up 30 days and then i'm tearing it down in 30 days sure and so you just don't have any time with it like it feels like a giant waste of your time you got to have a little more time you know and the baby the three-year-old way into this so he'll like it and that's all she cares about oh of course yeah oh gosh that's all she wants to do is please that kid just totally fine i'm i'm in support of it uh all right we got a text here from a listener I'd like to read to you right now Brian over the air and it it's uh let's see is this we got no name this is anonymous the sender hey Scott and Brian I recently measured my head to see what size of hat I needed

I've always known I had a big head but damn it came out to be 24.5 inches slash 62.60 25 sorry 62 and a quarter centimeters that's a lot that's a lot I also found out the average men's head is 22.5 inches So, how large are your noggins? And Scott, what underarmor hats do you purchase for your monstrous cranium? It needs a supplier. He needs a hat supplier, basically. He does.

I'm wearing one today. I did this on purpose because I knew I was going to read this. And I have like seven of these hats, different colors and stuff. Some were given to me. Some I bought. I get them online, just wherever anybody who sells Under Armour has them. Get them in Under Armour directly as well. and I don't have a way to measure my head

but I'm really curious what Brian's going to do here but when I get these when I buy these to answer his question I just get the biggest they have and it fits so whatever that is it fits all right breaks my headphones

yeah you're good you're good all right 23 inches yeah so just a little bit over oh you can't even see that because the light

23. Yeah, let's see if I can fix my damn headphones. Yeah, that was weird. Those got all tangled up weird. There we go. Yeah, so 23 inches. I don't know how much I like the fact that these headphones do this whole, like, this is way too much turning for a headphone.

Yeah, you don't need it. It doesn't need it. No, like turning 90 degrees out and then 90 degrees back, that's too much turning. Yeah, I don't get that. I'm, I'm, that flummoxes me why that's even a feature. Because once it, like, if you're futzing around with your hair, headphones and it gets into that twisted around area you need two hands to fix it and you can't you can't fix it with one hand like as you're doing something else yeah it's not very accessible

for those for those out there with one hand as you're doing something else ladies oh oh so 23 inches so just a little bit larger than average which is the story of my life baby that's great though because you can buy hats normally and have no problem having them fit your your head yeah I can't do it like so you don't have like a you don't have a tape measure you can run and get like I should have thought of this one. I put the text in here, and I didn't think about it. I remember to wear the hat, but didn't remember to bring them tape measurement. Can you text Kim and have her bring you a tape measure?

You know what? That's a great idea. We're doing the Amy segment and then we'll... We're doing that right now. Hold on. Bring me a tape measure. Please. And she'll do like...

She'll do like that Seinfeld where instead of the hot sauce I ate or the barbecue sauce I asked her to get, she'll bring down like a ruler or something. That's what will happen. Right, of course. Yes. Exactly. Yeah, that'll be great. Anyway, we'll get you guys' news on this in a second.

But Under Armour makes hats that are big enough from my head. I can't find anyone else who has what they have. I've looked. I've tried. I've tried a million brands. They don't make hats for big-headed people. And if I had to guess... Even those little plastic trucker hat, you have to have the...

Do you even have to, like, disconnect the plastic part that the... Yeah, and that's no good because it's hanging like that back there with no connection? Yeah, I've done that. I sometimes get lucky and... can do the last single snap back there, but even that's tight. So if I had to guess, I'm going to guess here before she brings it, but I'm guessing I'm somewhere in the 25 and a half to 26 is my guess. Oh, yeah.

Dr. Nicky says, does your hat have the diameter on the labal, and then she corrected it to Label, and then she corrected it to Label. Well, let's find out. And you want to be our science correspondent, Dr. Nicky. No, kidding. Let's see. And you want to be our sheep. Correspondent.

How do you read, where do you see? Oh, here we go. The Ombray edition. Oh, well, there you go, right there. So Seinfeldian right there. Well, now I don't know. It says everything, okay, it has this entire. Let's create a...

It says this whole thing. A series of large hats for people will call him the Ombray. Umbred. That's totally Peterman. He would do that. so this says oh maybe it's on the bottom uh style no i don't care about style okay well here this is confusing because they say um they say all these sizes and then just slashes between them xl slash 2xl slash tg slash 2 tg slash 2 tg they don't say which is all the different

which is all the different languages for xl and double xl like uh oh i see okay Much Grande or whatever. The second one was. Exclusive of Deformation Saup. I can't. This doesn't say. Oh, here we go. Okay.

Found it. Oh, but even this, okay. Even this just says XL slash double XL. So I don't, maybe that means that's the range. They don't, they don't have the inch size in there. They just go with the, they just go with like there. Yeah, which is fine. Small, medium, large.

X-L double X-X-L. So when she brings that down, she'll get her text at some point. She'll bring that down. We'll take a look at it. We'll do it right here live on the show. Maybe Wendy will be here and she can explain what the problems are associated with having a large. Well, yes, and all Johnsons, by the way, all Johnsons have big heads. Oh, really? So Wendy, too.

Yeah, Wendy has big head. Although Carter has a relatively smallish head, even though she's tall and seems like she might have a bigger head, but Taylor, her sister, who's tiny compared to her, has a bigger. head than her. It's weird. Our kid, Mike, everything's effed. Heads are weird, man. Oh, poor Johnson women. Yeah, I know, right? How do they make it? How do they survive? How do they deliver children with large heads? Well, the question will be answered soon enough. Before that, though, this.

It's time for the news and it's brought to you by. It's brought to death. I thought we're doing Amy first. Aren't we doing Amy first? Oh, shit. I'm an idiot. Why am we not doing Amy first? The news is brought to you by Amy. Who's first? Who's actually going to be first? Yeah, why am I'm not, my brain. Hold on. Let's do this. Big head. Big head doesn't mean

perfect memory, by the way. That's right. Just so you know. It's all fire. Here we go. This is actually what I meant to do. This was a trick. This was to see if the audience is paying attention. It succeeded. I passed. Yeah, you did. You passed the test. And you remain, you remain gladriole and can just leave to the West now.

Uh, good. Like my avatar appears to. Indeed. All right. Here's this now, for real. It's time for read this with Amy. Hi, Amy. I didn't forget about you. I just got confused. Hi. It's brought to you by Amy. Yep. I didn't forget about you. I just forgot. Yeah, I just fully forgot. I was like, wait. Did I do something wrong? No, no. This is how it happened for Daryl, by the way. Just let you know. Yeah, we started slow, worked our way down, and eventually Daryl just disappeared.

Weird. Weird. We are going to talk about reading, though, because Amy is an aficionado in the area. She loves reading. She likes sharing her recommendations here with us on the show. And, you know, today should be no different than that. So, Amy, let's get to it. What do you want to talk about today?

Oh, all right. Well, okay, so as far as the head-size thing, Chuck has the opposite problem as you, Like, he has a small head. So, like, he has to find, if he wants to get a hat, he can fit it to. He has to find one that's, like, children's... Child-sized, yeah, he can wear, like, children-sized hats and sunglasses and stuff like that. Oh, my gosh. That's great.

What I like about Chuck is that he's very aerodynamic. It's true. You could run him through a wind tunnel. No problem. He wouldn't have any resistance. He's a good cyclist, I'm sure. Yeah. Well, he is definitely built for cycling.

That's for sure. So, yeah. And Chuck, you should check your email, because, Scott, you should check your email because Chuck sent you an email that you will find hilariously funny. Oh, I will check that. I'll look it up while we're here, I guess. It might be good fair for the show, but, you know, I'll let you be the judge thing. All right.

Where did he send? Do you know which thing he sent it to? Which, uh, I don't know. Maybe you texted it? Do you do the text thing? He said he emailed it to you, but I don't know. Anyway, yeah, he had a funny experience at a doctor's office the other day that he thought you would think was very funny. I bet I will.

So I'm going to find this somehow one way or the other, but, you know, while we talk today, but I'm sure. While we talk, I will text him and find out where he sent it. And then, you know, perhaps by the end of my segment, I'll know. All right. But, yeah, all right. Anyway, I had a question that has nothing to do with the book at all, but then I promise we'll get to the book. Okay. So I've started watching Westworld.

Right. I realize I'm late to the party, but I'm really enjoying it. But I had a thought last night while I was watching it. And I was like, okay, so they've gone out of their way to make this like really realistic Old West experience. Do you think it smells like the Old West? That's a great question. Do they have like a equivalent of smell o vision there like to help enhance the experience and make it feel like you're in the... It would have to, right? The gritty old west. Yeah. Yeah, all those horses and, you know, the electronic horse plop. I'm sure it's got a smell. Yeah, I think you're right.

I think that that would maintain the, you know, the experience, right. So, yes, I'm going to say yes. Everything stinks. Yeah. Well, then, like, you know, Maeve and her girls are probably not, they don't probably smell very good. Oh, no, they probably reek. I don't think they smell very good. Wow. Okay. I see where we're going with this. Juice.

I'm just saying because, like, you know, deodorant wasn't a thing then or anything and they spent a lot of time kind of sweaty. So, you know. I agree. But that was part of the experience, right? That was part of the experience. And so you want, you know, I mean, I always assume Ed Harris in real life probably smells like sandalwood or something. Yeah. But in the show. When you go to the Star Wars area of Disneyland, you know, it may look like you're drinking. milk out of a walrus's teat but really it tastes like raspberries so i think there's probably like they probably stop at at uh the initial experience i don't know i don't know either i was wondering i was like where do they draw the line if you're if you're designed if you're anthony hopkins right and well like where do you draw the line between i want my i mean for the first episode i'm kidding i'm kidding yes there's a spoiler later but we would be spoiling you so i won't do that

Yeah, but yeah, like, where do you draw the line between making it hyper-realistic and have the guests having an enjoyable experience? I think, you know, with casinos that do the pumpkin smells, I think, but Disneyland's probably the best comparison, right? Because when you go there and you go to Frontierland, you know, you've got all the frills and leather and all that stuff there. but thankfully you don't get all the other crap that you don't have to watch your step when you're walking through frontier land you don't right you're not going to get ambushed uh walking through frontier land so it's like it you know they've got to stop at some point to where the guests still feel like they're having a good time but still being within that that um which is the whole plot though right it's the whole plot ends up being hey this is like the real thing wait i thought the bullets were fake oh no shit fly We're all screwed now because the robots are shooting real, you know, like it's starting to, I don't know how deep you are into the show, but that's kind of the point of it. I'm like four episodes then, so yeah, like, but yeah. I think, I think if I was guessing that one of the concepts of the show and the old movie for that matter is that very rich people can afford this and nobody else. It's not like a regular people can't go to this quote unquote theme park and enjoy themselves.

People with tons of money do. So when you spend, I don't know, 20 grand or whatever the. equivalent is in their world to go and experience Westworld you probably demand you demand the authenticness of it right yeah but then also I bet there's ways

I'll bet I mean this is all world-building stuff that they don't actually explain but I'm guessing there's ways to tweak stuff to fit certain guests so it's like sure he wants it more hardcore so we're gonna his version of his day you want to go to the other horror house which is

on Berry Avenue and not the one on Main Street. Yeah. I need to catch up on that show. I'm behind the season. You want the Caterpillar Cat House, not the Mariposa Cat House. Right, exactly. Did you get to this part where Pallo from Lost is walking through town blowing everything up

and they played that awesome cover of the Rolling Stone song? Can't they get a song now? Yes. Yeah, the painted black. That is such a rad. Oh, my gosh. It's so cool. I freaking love it.

That was such a great. great soundtrack. I wish they would have done more of those. The newer seasons have less of that. It's less I don't know why. They could have done more. That was Paolo from Lost. Yeah. I was like oh, because I think of him as

the beautiful man in love actually. Oh, even another one. What's her name? Every year I yell at her and I'm like, don't answer the phone. No, Julia not Julianne more. No, but Laurelini.

I yell at her every year. I'm like, listen to the beautiful man in your bed. Exactly. Amazing that you wouldn't think of Paolo from Loss because, you know, he was in. One, like, featured in one whole episode and, like, in the background of four other episodes. It's weird that we think of him that way. You should more think of him as Xerxes in 300. He's Xerxes, the bad guy.

Oh, right. Yeah. So he's the one that gets a spear past his face. You should watch 300, Amy. It's great. Oh, all right. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

I want lots of naked men. Yeah. Yeah. I thought we did do, no, we didn't do West World yet. We didn't do West World or Future World, and we really, really need to. And it's on, uh, you can watch Westworld, the 1973 Yulbrenner film on HBO Max. Oh, well, you know, we're bad film sackers for not noticing that before. We got to get that in there.

Guess what I'm adding. Just what I'm just putting right in the, in the. spreadsheet. Shove it in. Put it in right after. Moving Catwoman. Yeah, move Catwoman. Leave Arnold here for this week and then do it next week.

Let's do that. What will we're waiting for? There's no reason to wait. There's no reason to wait. And we're doing true lies. True lies stays. Yeah, we're doing true lies. We're moving firing the sky down a little bit.

Oh, because he's got all the Christmas stuff in here. Well, sorry, Randy. Yeah, he can wait. You're going to, yeah, sorry. He'll be fine. Don't worry about it. Sorry. We're not, no one's in charge of the list.

We all get to poke around. It's fine. Yep, exactly. Hey. You're not the boss of our list. Yeah. Oh, I found his email. Should I read his email real quick?

Oh, you found it. Yes. So the reason I couldn't find is because I actually replied and forgot I replied to it. So I'm an idiot. He says, Scott, I thought you'd appreciate this. I had an appointment with an urologist in a building with three urology practices. And this sign was out front with a name like Dong Wang. How could he decide not to go into urology?

Yeah, and that's his name. Dongweng, MD. he says urology but it says neurology on the thing so no that's what that's what he was saying though he's in a this doctor is in a building with three other urologists oh gotcha but the guy named dong wang is a neurologist i got it maybe he felt like he had to he had to avoid anything to do with like you know any of that and he had to do his own thing who knows right well good luck don't wing he sent me that the other day when he was there and I was like oh my god that's hilarious you got to send that to scott yeah dong wang's a great name I want to if I ever change my name legally it might be dong wang I like it a lot

anyway oh and clear like yeah that's what that's what chuck and I were afraid of that's why we just sent it to scott like we're I mean that it is actually his name I mean it's his name he has a sign with his name on it you know yeah and I so if if if If we are being racist there, I do, I apologize. Well, there's don't think it's racist. I think it's funny regardless. It's funny coming from a guy who's last name is Johnson. Yeah, see, see?

Right. Yeah. And it's like, well, I can say that because my last name is Johnson. Yeah, that's how I get away with it. Well, anyway, let's talk about your book. Tell me what you brought. Yes, so I sent you a close. flip um go ahead and set this one i will i will just set this one up by saying i devoured this book

in like three days so it was i just i couldn't stop listening to this book so yeah oh wow all right well let's find out how good it can be here we go it would be a relief to escape into the world of nintendo for a while but the game room was not empty a boy was playing super mario brothers sadie determined he was a sick kid and not a sibling or a visitor like herself he was wearing pajamas in the middle of the day, a pair of crutches rested on the floor beside his chair, and his left foot was surrounded by a medieval-looking cage-like contraption. She estimated the boy was her age, 11 or a little older. He had tangled curly black hair, a puggish nose, glasses, a cartoonishly round head. In Sadie's art class at school,

she had been taught to draw by breaking things down into basic shapes. To depict this boy, she would have needed mainly circles. She sat on the floor next to him and watched him play. He was skilled. At the end of the level, he could make Mario land at the top of the flagpole, something Sadie had never mastered. Although Sadie liked to be the player,

there was a pleasure to watching someone who was a dexterous player. It was like watching a dance. He never looked over at her. Indeed, he didn't seem to notice she was there. He cleared the first boss battle, and the words, but our princess is in another castle, appeared on the screen. Without looking over at her, he said,

you want to play the rest of this life? Oh, interesting. I have no idea what this is, but I like the discussion. I love the Nintendo Talk. Sure. Yeah, yeah. So this book is called Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabriel Zeven. And it is fantastic.

Wait, am I still there? Are you still there? It just got really quiet all of a sudden. Well, we're listening to you. Room noise went away. Oh. Very quiet. Okay, so, sorry about that.

So, yeah, it's called Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zeven. And it's really, really good. So these two main characters, Sam and Sadie, it follows them through, you know, 30 years of their lives. And they become, excuse me, they become game designers together. So the backdrop for the story. story is them designing really rich video games. But I just loved, I loved that clip because it ends with,

you want to play the rest of this life, you know? And I will say this about this book, not a word is wasted. There's not a single word or image or anything that's there accidentally. It's, or incidentally, it's all there on purpose. purpose. And the story is told nonlinearly. So you can pick up, for example, I'll tell you, I got about halfway through listening to the audiobook. And Chuck and I had to go on like a little road trip, mini road trip on Sunday. And I said, hey, can we listen to the audio book that I was listening to?

And he's like, well, I don't want to start in the middle. I said, that's fine. I'll, I'll start it over with you. Well, and. That's love right there. Well, I was enjoying the book so much. I was perfectly happy to do it. And I started noticing, oh, and I had to sit there and go, oh, that's a thing later. You know, oh, oh, I didn't know. You didn't audibly say that, though, right? No, I didn't. I didn't. I sat on it, but I was sitting there in my brain. I was like, oh, oh, neat. I noticed that that comes up later and I just picked up on it, neat. You know, and there's a lot, there's a lot of that. So she doesn't not waste any words. at all. And they're all, if you think it's significant, it probably is. It's really good. Like I say,

it's told non-linearly and it's in a third person limited perspective, but it changes perspective based on which character we're focused on at the moment. And it's, it's just, it's really good. It's, it like, like all things, uh, the game development is just sort of the excuse for the story about the character the relationships between the characters but it's it's really good and they're all very richly written characters nobody's completely flawless nobody's a you know nobody's terrible nobody's the villain well i don't want to say that there's one person in there that's absolutely loathsome but uh aside from that everybody is a a a complex complex three-dimensional human-sounding character, you know, and they're all likable and

unlikable in different ways. What's the title of it again? Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow. And Tomorrow and Tomorrow. Gabriel Zeven. Just check in availability. Of course, you mentioned the audiobook. Hardcover, Kindle, all of it. Ooh, this is reviewed very well. Yes. It is, it is an Excellent, excellent read. Like I said, I devoured it over the course of, I probably, if I were sitting and reading it, I probably would have finished it in a day and a half because it was so good. But I was doing other things and listening to the audiobook. And as you heard, she has a little bit of a slow, the narrator has a little bit of a slow pace.

So I was kind of at her mercy. But I can't do the thing. We've talked about that before. I can't do the speedy up thing. Is it based on an actual true story or something? Because it's the way all the descriptions read, it doesn't sound like fiction, but I think this is listed in the fiction category, right? It is.

It's a novel, but I think she's borrowing from some actual true things and probably some characters, and there are based on some people that she has met before in her life. so which I think all authors do that but yeah it it rings very true and it's it's just a great read I definitely recommend it tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow is borrowed from Macbeth oh okay I wonder what that was from that's from probably a record for most tomorrow's in a single book title it might it might well be yeah it's impressive on its own right Well, this looks fantastic.

I'll definitely check it out. I haven't heard of it until now. So clearly others have. They do a lot of talking about what goes into making a great video game. And so those parts of it are really fun. It's like, oh, wow. And they're coming at it from designers' perspectives. They don't spend a lot of time.

There's not a lot of techno babble or anything, but it goes a lot into trying to create the richness of an experience of a video game and what makes what makes games and playing so special and that feels authentic to you in this book like it doesn't feel um you know sometimes this stuff can be a nice backdrop but the but the author doesn't actually know that much about it does this feel like she knows what's up oh yeah she definitely it did it did feel very authentic because you know they talk they talk some about you know programming language and things like that, but they mostly concentrate on the game design, and they do. They go into stuff like little details in, there's one part where they talk about, like,

the blood spatter in one game and how you could almost see the reflection of the character in the blood that was spattering. It was such a small thing, but it just gave such a rich detail, stuff like that. it rings true for how I know I am not I'm not an artistic programmer I'm you know programming is just the way I make money

but it does ring true in that you can very easily get sucked down into the little bitty details and I mean you guys know this you guys are artists right so you you understand like oh I am I really want to get this one little thing right

like this is the maybe nobody else in the world will ever even notice it but i want this part of it to to work and that that definitely rings true so i think she definitely did her research uh it touches a little bit on because sadie is one of the main characters so it touches a little bit on uh you know how to how to navigate the waters of being a woman in game design and uh some of the more problematic aspects of that. But yeah, it's an excellent, excellent read, and I recommend it. I actually, I think Carter should read it because that's what I was thinking while I was reading it.

I was like, oh, cool, it's a woman game designer and, you know, she's super artistic and stuff. I was like, this will be great for Carter. Yeah, sounds like something she'd love. I'm actually sending it to her into text right now as we speak because I don't know if she'll have time where she's at to do much with it, but definitely seems cool. might be a good audio book for her to listen to on the plane back. Yeah, exactly. You got 10 hours, do it.

Yeah. Listen. Knocked out. Excellent. Well, Amy, it's always good to talk to you. And we'll be doing this again next time. Red Fraggle 3 wherever you find her.

She's everywhere. She's all places at once. That's true. I'm working on trying to get on the, what is it, the counter social thing. Oh, yeah. They're a little overwhelmed at the moment. They're getting a huge. influx of Twitter peeps over there so it's been a little hit and miss on just trying to log in but

I got in there no problem today seems to be okay this morning so they're growing they're scaling they're trying to figure their crap out and when I say they it's literally like a dude and some people helping him so oh wow which I kind of like yeah sometimes that's the best thing I know for sure I kind of love that I love that it's not some big multinational huge public elaborate yeah I don't want that. Anyway, we'll have a fantastic week and a good weekend and all of that and tell Chuck that small heads are okay. It's fine. Bye now. All righty. We are going to, let's see, how much time do we have? We have time for one story, I think. Let's do one news story. Yeah, let's do it. Here we go, everybody. Play this again. This time, it really is time for the news, and it's brought to you by.

Tadpooler here, the Hajni in the chat room, with a re-release of a very personal book. An addict's child takes you through what it was like watching my mom fight her demons and me living through the abuse. I will take you through the early days before she was an addict when we were homeless living in the shelter to when she was dealing and using cocaine. I fought through years of abuse from both her and my father. Now I'm here to tell my story. The e-book will be free from November 7th to November 8th, so go to tiny URL.com. slash child of an addict all lowercase tiny URL.com slash child of an addict sounds really interesting do check that out um also cathartic probably for them probably oh god yeah you have to have to assume um

all right oh real quick why this one this one avatar view you look like an angry fashion designer have you seen this yeah right the one with me standing with the blur background and like the skinny This one's great. You look like you're just... I look like I'm going down the runway, is what I look like. Yeah, and you're just like, ah, look at me in my fashion. Damn it, look at me.

Totally is, yes. My p coat. I love you. You're doing your p coat. Take it in, take it all in. Take in my pea coat. Take in my p coat. Here's your one story we'll do today.

Okay. Charge is pending against an influencer, you know, YouTuber. Yeah. For hitting his golf ball and losing his driver into the grand Canyon, this forced National Park Service to ask a silly question. So basically, this guy was testing a rule.

There's a rule that says, please do not golf into the, into the canyon. And he thought that sounded silly. I think that's actually what they're saying, is do we really need to post a rule that says don't hit golf balls into the Grand Canyon? Well, it says, okay, so after knocking the ball in the Grand Canyon, and appearing to lose her driver, an influencer who posted a video on the episode on the episode of a TikTok thing, it's now been charged. and has a court appearance pending. That led to National Park Service posting what apparently, or appears to be, but is apparently a necessary question on social media. Do we really need to say, quote, don't hit golf balls into the Grand Canyon?

Exactly. Anyway. Do we have to make it a rule because, you know, people are stupid enough to do this without... Yeah, it doesn't seem like you should have to, but maybe now they do. This is what they went on to say. They said, on October 26, an individual posted a video on her personal TikTok account, showing her hitting a golf ball and throwing a club into the canyon near Mather Point. Matherpoint, I'm not sure which it is.

Members of the public helped identify the individual social media account. On the 27th, the Grand Canyon law enforcement, ooh, those guys are probably scary. Yeah, for sure. Identified, located in the contact of the individual responsible for the incident. Charges in a court appearance are now pending. She's probably in huge trouble, but it's not. She should be.

Yeah, I agree. You don't be doing that. Exactly. And number one, there could be people down there for Pete's sake, right? Yeah, yeah. Hikers and stuff, dude, they're going to get a golf ball to the head. Hikers, the rafters, like, you know. It's effed up.

Don't be doing that. And then throwing the golf club into the canyon is just flat out, just an ass move. That's the lame part, right? Or the lamest part. The lamest part, exactly. And I hope they, I know people get so flippant about what they can get away with online. I hope they throw whatever book exists. a sadder. But I was doing it

for the likes. For the lulls? The likes and the subscribes. For the subscribes. Lame. All right. We're going to take a break. When we come back, my sister, Wendy, will be amongst us, and we're going to talk about two things. We're going to follow up on our sleep plan for the week that we did since last Thursday.

We'll see how our... Well, you mentioned you were trying to do it a little bit, too, so I don't want to assume anything, but it seemed like... That's true. Actually, I guess I didn't, but... you said that thing about I'm not the one having the weird dreams though yeah that's true you're not so much a problem but you were you said something the other day about how you

decided to go out and read or read or watch something on the couch instead yeah but I've been yeah we'll talk about that because I have been doing that so we'll see how that all fits in and how I did and you guys you might be surprised by what you find out so that's coming up but we also

have an email so we'll get to all that in a minute but before that song Brian song play song yeah let's go to Los Angeles for an L.A. based singer-songwriter who goes by the name Derek Ted. I mean, he goes by that name. It might actually be his name. And if so, I love the fact that you got two first names, bro. He has a brand new album called Times Have Changed. He's going to be touring with Field Medic, so you might get a chance to go see them in concert. And if something happens

on the tour, thank goodness he's got a Field Medic with him. He is a Bay Area performer, but he's in L.A. now. And this stuff is great. I listen to the whole. whole album this morning and I picked the title track. Here is the title track from Derek Ted's new album, Things Have Changed. Tell me once or tell me twice if I have it all. Why do I want to die? So I pull apart what I hide in my heart, just to find my way out into blinding cold night, because I find it hard to come back lately. Times have changed.

I hear a voice in time with my heart. She says, baby, day by day, it'll change. It's okay Do you feel that weight on your chest? Do you feel that weight on your chest Like the mornings and old friends You so dearly miss What keeps you up

At night Is the sound of their voice Or some distant dream life Because I Find it hard to come back lately I guess time times have changed. I hear a voice in time with my heart, she says, baby, day by day, it'll change.

It's okay It's okay Because I find it hard to come back lately I guess times have changed I hear a voice in time with my heart, she says baby day by day it'll change. I would be covered from eyebrow to foot in blood and urine and feces. Do you have any more skittles? No.

The morning stream. I need a corporal. You're it until you're dead or I find someone better. And we're back. Remind me who this cool L.A. band is once again. It's an L.A. artist, a guy by the name of Derek Ted from his brand new album called Things Have Changed. That is the title track. Nice. Yeah, just one guy, not a band.

Band of one is what he is. Yeah, a band of one. Can a band be one? Is that a deal or no? No. No, all right. I think a band almost always has to be, no, not even almost always. A band always has to be more than one person.

Yeah, because it's literally the day. definition of a band of people it's a not even in the music context a band of robbers a band of that's right band on the run a band on the run just it wasn't just sailor sam yeah no it's a whole band on the run there's a whole band on the run there's a whole band on the run well we've learned everyone well done hey look who it is my sister windy uh known to come here on thursdays and talk about real people and their problems an actual psychologist working in the world today hello wendy welcome back. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hello, Brian. Uh, you sound like you're in a bathroom or something. Where are you today?

Okay. I just, uh, Discord asked me if I wanted to switch device or audio something and I said yes. I usually say no. Oh, that's why. It sounds like I'm in a bathroom. Yeah. So now, so you're on like a room mic or like a like a, and it's fine. You can totally stay there. It doesn't matter. I don't want to be on a room mic. How do I get off? Well, you go to your discord there. Uh, you go down to the very, very bottom left. You got a little user settings, a little gear there. This is fun. It's like doing this with mom. You are better. Yeah. Discord microphone. You're better. No doubt. All right. So then you go to that and you'll notice down under there's a whole section called app settings. You go three down there where it says voice and video. Do you see that? Have you done this professionally? No. I just do it all the time because I'm weird. Anyway, you click on voice and video. And then in there you got up top, you get your input device and your output device. and what you want is your input device to be whatever you mean it to be.

So you click that and choose the one that it's not using. Unless it is using the one you are using and maybe... Is that better? Yeah, it is better. Oh, yeah, sounds much better. Yeah, see? Look, it only took you one explanation. I am not my mother.

Yeah, you did good. You did good. And for the record, Discord berries crap. It's hard to find stuff. Yeah, it really did. That is nuts. Wendy, how's the size of your head? Oh, that reminds me.

Kim brought me the thing. So answer the question. So answer the question, Wendy. How big do you think your head is? Well, I, okay, this may come as a weird surprise, but I, for a while, was obsessed with the size of every family member's head in Adam's family and my family because I was giving birth to giant-headed children. Yeah.

Yeah. And his entire family have huge heads. My entire family has huge heads. I have a normal size head. Oh, I thought you had a big one like me. No? No. Okay. Well, I'm measuring it now. Here, hold on. Kim brought me a tape.

You're like 23 inches, probably, 24? Probably more, because I can never find hats that fit me, but we're going to find out. 22 and a half apparently is the average. We are at. I think I'm smaller enough. Oh, Wendy was dead on. 24, exactly. Wow. Well, then why? That doesn't feel like that's that big.

It's really not. I mean, it is a full two inch, two, an inch and a half bigger than the average. That's true. That's true. Boy, nobody hear this out of context. please, that'd be great. Well, anyway, or do. I don't know, maybe that was a good thing. But anyway, so 24 inches and I only wear these under armor hats because they're the only ones that seem to fit me.

If anyone else out there listening is like, oh, I got a great source. Let me know because I like a good hat. Anyway, let's get to the deal here. Hey, Wendy, we're going to start with a follow-up, right? We're going to talk about how the bed thing went. All right. So I decided to really do this hardcore, the way you did. described it. I think Brian dabbled. Right, Brian?

Well, I dabble. I mean, I've been doing, the thing that I did, I've been doing for a while, which is if I wake up in the middle of the night, and that's my problem. It's not, boy, falling asleep, zonk, I'm out like a light. And I don't have weird dreams. I just zonk right out. But I'll wake up at like three or four o'clock with like a backache from the way I've been laying and I just can't get comfortable. And I can't fall back to sleep. So I just, you know, go in the other room and, and yes, bathe my eyes in the luscious blue light an episode of the love boat on my iPad. Nice.

But usually it's like maybe half an hour, 45 minutes, and I'm able to get back to bed. And what I attributed to is just my back is feeling better enough to where I can get back in bed and not have a weird back issue, which I think points more to a mattress problem than anything else than a sleep issue. Could be. Good mattresses goes a long way. Could we please get purple or...

one of those mattress companies that fits in a box as a sponsor so we can get some free mattresses up in this business? No kidding. Hey, mattress companies. Brian needs a mattress. Let's get this done. Okay? Can we get on this? Exactly. Come on. Purple was, uh, started in Provo, weirdly. Anyway. Oh, really? But anyway, so the thing I do and that I have been doing for a while is if I wake up, instead of just propping the iPad up on my chest while I'm laying in bed and watching something, I leave the room. I go to a different environment. Watch something. Then when I start feeling tired, I go back to bed. Interesting.

Okay. And then can you get to sleep right away? Yeah, right away instantly. So let's be clear. Propping yourself up in a bed and watching something. You think your posture is any good? No, terrible. It's terrible. Yeah, no, that's what I'm going to the couch is what I'm doing.

I'm leaving the bedroom and I'm going into the couch and I'm watching. But what I'm just wondering is if that was creating the problem, too. Well, it makes my back feel better, is sitting up right. I see. 100% true of me. If I'm hunched down in bed trying to watch something, do something, draw something, whatever it is I'm doing, my back pays for it the next day, bad. Yeah. So it's not meant to be doing that.

So here's what I did. Every day I did what you said. You brush your teeth. You do your deal. You know, pee, I think is what you said. And then as soon as I sat there, I reminded myself, I'd like sit on the edge of the bed. And I said, all right, this is it. You're not doing anything else after this.

You can lay down and you're going to go to sleep. Or you can put your head down and you go to sleep. The lights are off. You're going to be done. And I told Kim I was doing this, so she was all, you know, all part of this. And there were moments in the early days where I'd look at my phone or look at my iPad or look at my, you know, steam deck or something. And I'd go, oh, I could just grab that. And there were still that tug, right?

As soon as I sat down, I'm like, oh, I could play a little Red Dead Redemption 2 tonight if I wanted to. Still felt that tug to do it. That urge. The urge was there. it's a better term I like urge um as opposed to a tug right before bed yes thank you so I said so so that's what I did I would ignore that or I'd put that in the back of my head and I would lay down and go for it the only problem I experienced in the first couple of days was it took forever for me to fall asleep okay and I think that's to be expected because again usually I'm filling that time

with something yeah and my and I wasn't used to it so I would just sort of sit there and kind of try to be present and do breathing exercises and clear my head and that sort of stuff. And it did, it did eventually work and it was no problem. Other than the night before Carter left, because I was just worried about her trip and, you know, just worrying for whatever reason. That was kind of a rough night where I couldn't sleep hardly at all. But for the rest of the week, I had way better sleep, got up feeling better in the morning. And that was the third thing I was going to tell you.

Oh, and I didn't have Wackadoo dreams that I remember. So I don't know if, you know, I'm ready to say that this solved it, but it sure did make a difference for a week. And maybe part of that is me placeboing myself into the new routine, you know, like really going for it and like every night thinking about it. And so that's contributing. And so maybe that's good or maybe that's just side effect. I don't know. But I didn't have weird dreams, especially the weird, weird ones. And if I had dreams at all, I would wake up and forget them immediately, which is rare for me.

So, yeah, I think that worked. At least initially, there's more, you know, a week is probably not enough. Probably need to keep at it, obviously. Well, and you describe the urge to do the thing. It's just, it was habituated, right? It's just the thing you did. And you can do it without thinking, I mean, driving, for example, right? Go drive somewhere.

I've driven your whole life. You can hardly remember how you got there. Yeah. You did not have to think about all this things. It's muscle memory. It just comes naturally. That's what anything we ritualize will become. Right.

And so you just ritualize certain things in your bed routine. And then if you take them out, your brain will prune those neurons eventually. And you'll start having that be the thing you do, which is lay down, go to sleep, lay down, go to sleep. Right. Go to sleep. And then you just get more sleep. Yeah. So, I mean, here's the trick.

And this is what's hard for most people is, like you said, I had one of my children recently say to me, I don't know why you ever told me about the placebo effect. It's ruined my life. I was like, first of all, maybe I exposed you a little early to the placebo effect, but someone would have taught you eventually, okay? Which is ultimately, like, having a hard time knowing is something is placebo or not, because you really want it to be effective. And I always just say, okay, if it's effective, does it matter?

And they don't want to hear that. Anyway, that idea of like, I don't know, maybe it's placebo. but you are, you point out something that matters, which is if you're consciously doing something until it becomes a habit, it's the thing you're going to make as a habit. I would, I would assume if you ask most people, what is, you know, what's one thing you would just love getting rid of? And they'd name a bad habit, right? Like, so to switch a habit, you really have to give your brain enough time to prune the neurons it doesn't use anymore and build new ritual and body memory around the new habit.

So if you just keep going, we will have some proof in the pudding. And it will take less and less brainpower to do it because you won't need so much reminding and structure to do a thing because it's now the new thing that you do. So why don't you do it for another month and then tell us if it's supposed to be out? Yeah, I'll keep at it. Because I did, you know, I did wonder if it was better just because I was thinking

it better because I can do that sometimes with stuff. Yeah. Like if you're going to be, I don't know. Like, if I'm, if I'm in the right frame of mind, I can tell when I'm, like, really tense, but it's hard, I'll know it, but it's hard to say, stop being tense and then have my body respond the way it's supposed to. But then there are times where I can really do it, where I'm like, no, don't chill. And then I'll feel like a whole bunch of little micro muscles just go, blah. Yeah.

It's one of those things where if you, if you're able to get that complete blank mind focus and I do that thing that, the stereotype therapy, you start at your toes and you flex and then release and you're focusing on each individual muscle working up your body for whatever reason that actually works for me and yeah, it does. And if you do it enough, you get good at it and you can make it work every time. And that's the hard part for me is remembering, you know, filling my head with other stuff. Yeah. And I'm not actually noticing how tense I am or how, you know,

unrelaxed I am or whatever. And so it's just a matter of going, okay, pull that car over there, buddy, and see what you got. Oh, that reminds me. I don't know if you heard about this, Wendy. This is a whole different topic, but I just wanted to bring it up because it reminded me of it. Pulling over the car. Okay, hold on to it for one second. Let me just say one final thing.

Okay, go ahead. Systemically and systematically training behaviors that you want, you guys are describing it perfectly, is that it just gets easier to do, it becomes, it takes less and less energy to do, and that's anything that's good for you. And you have to also remember any of the things you're doing that are not feeling great, you've also systematically trained, right? You just didn't have to try very hard because you got so much dopamine, so it's really fun. Yeah. Right. And so, yeah, you can do it either direction, but just know we are all animals being trained. That's true. You just decide what you want to train.

It's just good to know that it's like unlocked the old phrase about old dogs, new tricks. That's hokey, right? Teaching your old brain new tricks. Yeah, it's totally hokey. You can learn new things forever. Good. Take that old dogs. All right.

So here's the thing I was going to tell you about and then we'll get to our email. This is totally weird. But yesterday we get this news that part of the freeway got shut down. All three lanes got blocked on one of the directions because a truckhead jackknifed and overturned, big semi with a load on it and this the detail started to come out the car that ran into it that caused it to wreck was a guy who was in the car and he was deceased so so some people that oh like is a heart attack or a stroke or like what was the deal they get into the car he's got a gun right next to him and a gun shot to the head oh geez so it appears suicide and and

he did it if that's the case he did it while driving on the road and i guess what i'm asking is this again like i said whole other subject but why would somebody who wants to check out maybe maybe this is true of like all like shooter types too that like shoot up schools and stuff i don't know they have like kind of a death wish but they want to go out in this blaze of glory or something why wouldn't you pull over to do your thing because part of me's like man i get it people with you Yeah. I know you're having a horrible time, but why try to take half the freeway out with you? Because obviously once you do this, your car's going to swerve and everyone's doing 75 and you're all going to, you know, you're going to tangle up. Thankfully, nobody else was severely hurt. And it worked out okay. But, you know, why? Why do people, why is that a thing with us that we want to, we don't want to just check out. We want to check out and make sure everybody knows it, feels it. And then oftentimes hurts because of it. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I mean, I think the mass shooter kind of thing explains some of that. I have a distinct memory of a guy in high school who talked about, you know, maybe I was a therapist early on now that I'm saying this. But anyway, just talked about like, you know, sometimes he thought about that. And if I'm going to end it all, I'm going to, I'm going to jump onto the stage from the rafters during a school assembly. Oh, geez.

Yeah, and I remember thinking, so you need some attention. Is that what we're saying? Is that what's part of, hard for you right now? And it's just a very adolescent sort of thought, I think. Yeah, yeah. And I think what can happen is when folks get in those desperate situations, you know, they're part of them that wants to die isn't really the rational well, let's save ourselves part, right?

And so it may just be conjuring up, you know, the other things that are a part of that. And so it may be that I need my ex-wife to know it needs to be on the news. Or some, you know, it could be a million different things. But it is usually a pretty immature impulse to, that maybe you are not thinking through really you're harming other people and or you are absolutely thinking, I want as many people to be hurt by this because I'm so hurt. So there's probably a lot of explanations for that. But that is really sad.

Yeah, it is sad. It was horrible. And the freeway was really bad for a long time. And so all anyone was talking about is how irritated they were about traffic. I'm like, I think this is just more stuff going on. Right. Anyway. The traffic isn't a big issue.

Yeah. Yeah, not so much. Not the main thing. Let's get to this email. That was random. Okay. Yeah, it was a little random. It just reminded me of the pullover when some, either one of you said pulled a car over.

And I went, oh, that reminds me. Or maybe I said it. I don't know why. Anyway. The inner mind of Scott Johnson, everybody. That's right. Take a look. Look hard.

All right. Here's an email from an anonymous listener. We're going to read real quick. and talk about. Dear Scarpa, Boreal, and wildly wonderful Wendy. I like mine. Yours is good. Yeah, yours is very good.

That is appropriate, all of that stuff. Yeah. Says, can you give me any pro tips on how to forgive people or just let things go? Example, I'm 47 years old, and I still find myself thinking about how a middle school sports ball coach embarrassed me in front of a whole team. I quit the team, never played sports ball again. He doesn't say which sport. He just says sports ball. It's probably because he called.

at sports ball. Oh, I'm just kidding. It says, I got on to loner sports like rock climbing, snowboarding, and skateboarding. I am thrilled with how it all turned out

since the new sports are my lifelong passions. But that rat bastard squished my sensitive 12-year-old soul and I never figured out how to get over it. He says, by the way,

in the sort of a PS, he says, that coach passed away a few years ago and so I can't even contact him to tell him how it affected me. Boy, that can go both ways. I had a very positive relationship with a teacher in junior high that I absolutely love this guy. He set my life on a

certain course. I really feel that way. And so when I tried to follow up and just tell him how important he was, I found out he had passed away. I hated that. I couldn't tell him. I hated that feeling. And so it must be, it's a different angle to have them be a problem in your life and not be able to say anything. But I guess I relate to it in that way. So anyway, what do you want to say to a 47-year-old you know sports kid who got a bad moment there at the coach.

Yeah. So let's start with this. I think this is really relatable for a lot of people. For sure. Mainly that something happened during middle school that had a big impact

on your courage or your willingness to try new things or what was socially accepted. Your desire to do something with groups of people versus joining the solo. Exactly. And also even just, you know, the newness of something or playing something for joy rather than skill or, you know, whatever.

So as you know, I probably mentioned I am now coaching said 13-year-olds, 12, 13-year-olds in basketball. And we had our first practice last night. And I'm so I'm realizing like the absolute weird level of power you have as an adult in these moments. And I think part of that is it's performance based, right? So part of the developmentally sort of healthy normal thing kids do as they grow older, is they're figuring out if they're competent at something or not, right? That's a big developmental milestone. And so people need to have competency as they go along to thrive.

And if they don't, it gets pretty problematic in lots of different ways. So here you take an adult who has the power to express whether you're valuable or not or competent or not or, you know, and even, you know, has their own issues because, you know, a 47-year-old coach could now be coaching a bunch of 12-year-olds and the cycle continues. But just that idea of, like, this is a really fragile moment developmentally for a lot of kids and especially boys. Everyone, don't get me wrong. Especially boys in sports ball arenas. We'll say that.

How about that? Sure. I think girls in sports ball arenas have similar challenges, absolutely. But I think this is one of those places where, you know, the cool kids do this or they're deciding their rank and file in school or whatever it might be. And then here is an adult embarrassing you in front of an entire team, right? Right. Okay.

So very relatable. Lots of people have had these different experiences. Maybe it was running the mile in gym or maybe it was doing something really embarrassing in front of your peers and or being teased or not knowing everyone's laughing at you. It could be a million things, right? So this thing, especially with an adult figure, you're doing this thing. it's like kids have a lot of credit when they are messing with each other but an adult doing it where there's a real power differential is particularly harsh so first I want to normalize it for him that he could have these feelings for this rat bastard and and truly if let's say the guy was alive right rest his peace so let's say if the guy was alive and he went to confront him he is going to interact with a very different person. than, you know, the coach of his middle school years.

Sure. Yeah, he's not going to walk in the room and go, hey, you're that kid that threw the ball the wrong direction. Like, it's not going to be like that. You're still the worst. Yeah. No, he will have no memory. You'd have no memory of that happening probably, right?

And that's the irony of most of these things. You probably wouldn't even remember it like a week later. You know, it's just, you know, his coaching is like, no, are you a silly kid? Which is part of the problem, right? It's part of the problem is they are flippant about it and kids internalize it so hard. And let's be clear, this is 35 years ago. Yeah. Yeah.

So 35 years ago, what emotional intelligence were we giving coaches to then give to kids? So I have spent probably 20 hours in training to become a coach. It's a lot, let me say. But it's also really diving deep into understanding kids and how to work with them and how to focus on the right things. And not, you know, most kids, the stats are that most kids quit playing sports ball in some form. at the age of 13. And the number one reason kids will give is it's not fun anymore. And the number one reason most people think it's not fun anymore is because adults ruin

everything, right? They make it about winning and they make it about. So it's not growth mindset. It's fixed. It's you're good or you're not. Play hard or get out, you know, and versus I feel like there's been a big shift and we're trying, but there's a lot more training happening. I know that coach got zip training.

I know it. I spent 20 hours just to be able to play. with kids. It can barely shoot a ball. Anyway, so it's a big deal now, but 35 years ago, that's real, right? So let's take this experience and then let's just walk through biologically, psychologically what happened. And this is going to be true for anyone who has had something similar, is someone in a power position uses social humiliation, maybe just because he wanted to win a game because it's about him okay who knows his motives

game favor with the other kids like you know oh see what billy did don't want to do that and i'm just going to guess is 47 year old maybe his back hurt and he was a little grumpy and tired or i don't know whatever there's something going on and regardless what happens is you are a 12 13 14 year old kid and you're publicly humiliated about your competency your whole entire system is going to wire around that moment like oh we will never do that again and so parts of him developed to say yeah guess what sports ball sucks never never never

so when we look at the stats and it's like 80% of kids stop playing sports after 12 or 13 do you think it might be related to social like way more social awareness at that stage right puberty awkward everyone's staring at me and then the ample opportunities to not feel competent while learning a sport or playing a sport Right.

So developmentally, problematic. Okay, so that happens. And any story anyone's thinking for themselves about something that they're having a hard time letting go of that happened when they were at that age, just think of it like you're a blank piece of paper and somebody wrote on it for the first time with a really, you know, those ballpoint pens that are like, make a dent in the paper. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's like that, like a whole got through. And so under all your years of life and maybe other competency and. success, and all that fun you're having playing those other sports and thriving as an individual, there's still this written on your blank paper, this like indentation from this moment, right?

And that is because that is you got hurt. It was awful. You would never want to go through it again. So your whole system wires around and prevents you from ever being in another space like that. So quitting group sports is a way to do it. I'm still feeling like I want to move and be an athlete, so I'll find other ways to do it. Great.

So all the different choices in your life, you know, can kind of, we could, we could not all of them, but right, you can kind of see like, oh, that's the origin of quitting group sports. And maybe it has had little to no impact and not that big a deal, but why is it still vivid? And what happens when I work with people, sometimes they're not, it's not as vivid. They can't just say, oh, middle school, this happened. but we can eventually find it and very, very often it's something that happened in middle school. Yeah, there's something about that age range where, you know, that I've talked about on the show before,

but that coach that little league soccer coach that when they were given out trophies to everybody at the end of the season, and the one guy said, and the one, and the coach says, all right, Scott Johnson or Scotty they would have called me. Well, at least he came to the games. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Everybody left. Yeah. And what he was saying is I was bad at the game. I showed up. And that's the one where my brother, Mark, got all pissed because he was the co-coach or whatever, the assistant coach. And he got all pissed about it and tried to defend me.

And anyway, I remember all this so vividly. I was maybe nine or ten. I was such a little kid, but it was so that that screwed me for sports. I was done. That that got me. And that's right there is an example of the awakening of your awareness. Developmentally, eight, nine is when this really starts, you're more abstract thinking. It's like adults can be laughing at you and you now get that they're laughing and it's not just a cute little five-year-old dancing around and you think they're happy. But you can, you're picking up, you know, developmentally, your brain can do more around these ages. And then we get puberty. And I mean, it really is cruel. If we just like list what it is, everything feels wrong. You're growing. You smell like nothing is the same. And you

truly the whole world you feel like has a microscope staring at you. Yeah. And then you all go to school together. Yeah. Horrified. You group up in the same horrible place with the same horrible lunch, you know, with a bunch of adults who are overworked and underpaid. Yeah. It's a, it's a soup for trouble.

Anyway. So, okay. So all that said, this, this happened. So I want to get really specific about what he can do with it. Okay. Yeah. Um, so maybe, maybe, uh, maybe I'll do it with you. And then he can just apply this, the words. Sweet. We'll be vicariously, okay, I get it. Yeah, we're going to vicariously cure him

through you. Okay. So, so, so, well, you can just do it at the same time. I'm going to do it generally and then I kind of do the same time. Maybe Brian, do you have an experience that's kind of popped in your head. That's what I've been trying to think of this whole time. Like, I am, I feel like I'm such a, shake it off, you know, whatever, mind over matter. I don't mind so you don't matter kind of thing. But I don't, I don't feel like a whole grudges teen is the queen of grudges, man. Holy God. But now, me, I feel like I'm, I'm okay in this.

So I will sit back. You can just, you can observe. Yes, exactly. Oh, what's it like to be mortal? That's what you can do. Right. Okay. So you take this scenario, and this is semi-dangerous to do, everyone. So just everyone relaxed. Okay. But you're going to sort of go back to the scene. Okay. So, and this is what's tricky

is here you are, living your whole life all these years later, and somehow it still pops up. This is what you've got to get curious about. When does it pop up? Right. So the next time you think about that coach and that embarrassment, you know, you just sort of stop and think. think, like right now, Scott remembered the story because we brought up another person's story that has a similar pain point with sports, right? And so that would be a really obvious answer. Oh, that's why I'm thinking of it. But if you're just driving and it pops in your head, just take a moment and get really

curious, like, huh, what is happening right now that my brain would be like, do you remember that humiliation? Because every single time it is for, and I can guarantee this, you may not believe me, but every time it's for your protection, okay? Interesting. But that part of you is young. It's been around since you were 13. Have you been around a 13 year old recently?

I have. I needed to take a shower after. I was like, oh, my gosh. Yeah. They're just in a hard place, right? And so a 13-year-old's take on anything would be hard to have interrupt your day. Yeah. Okay?

So you're in your car. it pops in your head and it's like remember that humiliation it's a it's a form of protection so then you could if you can back up a little bit and just be curious like is there humiliation being threatened in my life right now i look around is this thing at work tripping a little some of these old buttons right is this in a relationship of mine um maybe it's your witnessing you witness witness some public shaming maybe you're on twitter that'll do it Right? Like you're just finding, just getting curious at finding why this would sort of pop up right now and just be a little bit curious about it. So, Scott, your seems pretty obvious. But, you know, when this pops in your head here or there, have you ever noticed that?

That it may be a, maybe, and it doesn't even have to be that you are being shamed or humiliated. It might be just you're feeling vulnerable. I mean, I have so few memories of that age. And this is one that I'll never forget. Like I have nothing but good things to say about my childhood in terms of, you know, my parents and my siblings and all of that. It's just there's a couple of things that stick out and this is one of them and it always comes up. Like it just is always there. If I hear about anything where someone just says, oh, they, you know, they got treated bad.

Or if I see a movie where, you know, it's the mighty ducks or something and one of the kids is being teased or something. I go, yeah, freaking that guy, dude. Like, I think about them all the time. I don't obsess about it, but I definitely, it definitely comes up. And it's such a vivid moment. I know we were in Murray Park. We were, I knew, I know what park benches we were at while this was happening. If I was to drive over there today, I could tell you right where it was.

Like, that's a weird amount of memory for a thing. And it's not weird at all because that is what trauma does. Trauma memorizes the smell, the color, the season, the bench, the location, this time of year, the color of someone's eyes, the smell of someone's, whatever, because it has to remember exactly what never to have happen again. Right. Right. It's protective response is that.

Yeah, that makes sense to me because I do feel like I, I don't know, I like, I'm tired to explain. I put on like this some weird mental armor that day. Yeah. And even though, you know, my brother jump in and try to defend me. I didn't forget that either. That's a very vivid part of this. I think he may not know this,

but I think part of the reason I am quick to jump to defend, especially kids when they are in trouble or someone's giving them crap or something. Part of it's that. I'm just like, well, no one else did this except this one guy. And if my brother wasn't there, would anyone have said anything? No. Yeah, probably not.

Okay, think about that for a minute. That protective response around you is, first what develops, right? There's a protective something that occurs in you. And then throughout your life, that same part of you that is going to protect you gets triggered and then protects others, right? So can we see that as a bad thing? I mean, it's a really good thing. It feels like a good outcome from a bad thing. Yeah. I mean, I could have gone different ways. And this is where, this way you want to have your therapist help you with these kind of things, is that all that good protection and making sure kids are safe and standing at the bullies and all that good

stuff that came from that traumatic moment doesn't magically just go away if you can all at the same well okay that's just kind of who you are that's how you've developed but then you can do something actually about the original painful memory right which is new we used to sort of see like you know folks would come home from war and be traumatized and I mean this is existed throughout time where we didn't know what to do with it and we've learned and learned and learned and learned how to treat trauma. And we are way better, way better than we were even 10 years ago. And so there is something you can do around the original trauma and not necessarily lose all the good that came from that protection. The problem with this,

where trauma gets us in trouble is when we have trauma and we develop these strategies to protect ourselves or repeated trauma is the worst version of this. These strategies are are developed as children, right? And then those strategies carried throughout a lifetime can be really detrimental to your development as a human. So you imagine every person is now a threat because you were mistreated, and then you go through life with everyone as a threat,

and then how they respond to you is, feels threat. And it's just this vicious cycle where you're just trapped in the effects of a trauma. So we've had to learn how to treat that, trauma in order to free people to live their actual lives. So it is a big deal. And though we may say, oh, it's stupid coaches, this is this great example of how even a small thing, theoretically a small thing, has such an impact.

And that's why our email is like, I am 47, can I be done? So what I would like him to do, and Scott, you can do this similar, similar thing, is when it pops up the next time. So there's two levels of thinking. One is the sort of analytical version. of just like look around and see if you're feeling particularly vulnerable in any place. And what you'll find is when you start to see like, oh, yeah, I am getting reviewed at work and it is a committee that is going to be reviewing my work, you'll go, oh, that makes sense

that this part of me that protects me from public humiliation is getting a little antsy, right? So sometimes even just that acknowledgement can really cause that to ease up, okay? But then the second part of that is more about how you want to treat the child that went through that. So Mark defended you and, you know, a part of you had to protect yourself from then on, okay? Those are kind of the two protectors that happened at nine. Now, what happens if you as an adult now could travel back to be with that nine-year-old? Oh, what would I do? That's a really great question.

Here's the thing. You can think all through this, but really you have to have someone like walk you through it. But let's just do the thinking first. So now just imagine, well, let's just do this. You're a very visual dude in your head. How about you close your eyes? Yeah. And I want to see if you can just picture the scene. Can you see your nine-year-old self? Yeah. Okay. So let's start with this. How do you feel towards that kid? A skinny little twerpy kid. So you're a bully? Is it what you're saying? No, I just see. I saw myself as that. So I think that's what I see. I just see myself as a little too skinny, you know, bad haircut, mom haircut, kind of thing. What else do I see? Okay. So now I want you to stop. Those shorts are too short. I'm saying that part.

They're too short. Okay. All right. So what I want you to do is the part of you that is critical of that kid, right? Yeah. That he looks funny and, you know, as you're describing him. I want you try something here. like just ask that part of you to just relax for a second like you get it his hair was weird

and he had short shorts but just like see if it can relax and step back so you can see the kid differently okay okay do you feel that yeah a little bit okay so now with the critical part stepped back how are you feeling towards that kid um more more neutral I guess less less embarrassed by him. Okay. Okay, good. That's good. Yeah. Okay. All right. So any feelings of compassion or curiosity? Oh, for sure. Like, if because I know what the, if I could go back in time, so this is the problem, knowing that I know what had happened, I would probably want to go, I'd be some adult that would show up and punch the other coach before he could say anything. Okay. So hang on. This is what we're going to do. So I want you, if you feel compassion for that kid, so I want you to do this. In your head, don't do it out loud. In your head, I want you to, I want you to approach. the kid, and I want you to ask him what he needs from you. Does he need you to punch someone in the face?

Does he need you to take him out of there? What does he need? He needs to feel like he, accurately or not, he needs to feel like he did a good job that season for that team. Okay. That's what he needs to feel like. That none of that was a waste of time or that somehow he thought he was doing good, but then turns out it wasn't like that's how he feels that's how he feels about the dude saying that

so you are an adult helping a nine-year-old boy understand how this works right so just take a second yeah and I want you to hug him I want you to tell him he's awesome I want you to tell him that he is learning and he's a lot of fun I mean he's he's my peter running around so I have nothing but love for that little kid right just let him know it's okay and that those adults made mistakes and it's not his fault. Just give him what you needed to give you then. All right. I give him that.

Okay. And now what's he doing? How's he feeling? Has he heard from the, did the coach say this stuff to him prior to me saying that? Like in other words, has the exposure to the negative influence happened yet for him or not? It's up to him to tell you. I don't know. All right. Assuming that the coach was a jerk, and I afterwards told him that, he would have, that would have helped him.

Yeah. Okay. So then do it. And I want you to like really do it. I know everyone's watching us do this. All eyes are right. But really, tell that kid everything he needs to hear. And then when he feels it, when he feels safe and he feels loved and. that he's okay. Yeah. I think part of me would tell him, so this is the problem. I would say, that coach is a turd.

You don't need to listen to that guy. He's a total butthole. And his son is on the team. He's a butthole too. They're all buttholes. So don't worry about these buttholes. You're good. I would tell him that.

Just make sure he's okay. Like he's hearing you. Yeah. Okay. And then ask him if he wants to leave. Does he want to go somewhere else? Oh, he totally does. Okay.

So any place he wants to go, wheel or imagined. An arcade. He wants an arcade. pizza. Awesome. Take him to an arcade, give him pizza. Yeah.

And then we're going to do one final thing. I want you to ask him what burden he took on because of that event. What was that shield that had to go up? Or what was the burden he carried after that event? Well, assuming he could articulate such an answer. Well, check with him. He's the one that needs to tell us. You're guessing.

So just listen to him. I don't know, but it was kind of a dope when I was 10. It doesn't matter. it's him uh what burden did he take on ask him he would say his burden was taking on the feeling that he was demonstrably bad at sports yeah that would be the burden not good enough not good enough to be a part of the the team not good enough and that he was that he was easily laughed at Yeah, not getting enough laughed at. Yeah, and laughed at by people he thought were his little friends.

Yes. So that is a huge burden for a young person to carry. Yeah, it's a lot. So I want you to ask him if he would like to release that burden. Oh, yeah, he's like, he's mouth's full of pizza, but he's nodding rapidly up and down. He's excited. Okay. So he gets to choose how he wants to release it.

There's some fun ways he can throw it in a fire or throw it in the wind or bury it in the earth. Anything. What would he like to do? Um, I think you'd like to That's funny I've really thought about this before what method I would like to do

to extinguish it so fire sounds fun but I think you'd actually like to throw it from a very high place Perfect. Okay, so take him to a very high place and you and he together not the Grand Canyon.

We learned earlier that you can't golf in there so no grand canyon. Wherever you want, throw it down into from a very high place. Just do it with him. Oh, fun. So this is like Letterman-style stuff from the, like, the 12th floor kind of idea.

Dropping watermelons from the top. Yeah. I used to love that. Make sure he, like, you're helping him and that he feels like he's having a really good time letting go of this. Okay. I mean, he is having a good time. Yeah, this would be fun for him. Okay.

Especially if that thing was going to explode wildly at the bottom. Perfect. Yeah. Perfect. And it's gone. Okay. So I want you to just check. Is he feeling.

less burdened after that? Yeah, he is. Okay. So ask him if there's anything else he wants to let go of any other burdens. No, not really. Okay. So now there's some space on his shoulders where he was carrying that burden. Ask him he can have any quality he wants, anything he'd like to take in himself.

Ask him what he would like to have. Well, the obvious thing seems like suddenly I'm good at sports, but let's think of something else. because I don't think that's really what I wanted. So check with him. I am checking. See, this is hard because I don't know. I don't think I would have. So let me throw out some words.

Courage. Yeah. Good enough. Liked. Probably. Safe. Actually. actually the word safe is probably the one yeah okay so kind of like you're pouring water into

a vase I want you just pour safety like you're just filling the kid up where he just feels safe liquid safety got it yeah just feels really good okay I'm doing it does he feel good yeah he likes that okay awesome all right so we're going to do one last thing he defines safety a little bit different though because safety like he doesn't think safety means you know oh no one can ever hurt you or there's no you know there's big bars on the windows or any of that kind of safety it's more safety and relationships. Yeah, yeah. If that makes sense, hard to explain.

Yeah, 100%. 100%. Okay, sweet. So now he's feeling pretty good. He's eating pizza. He's in the arcade. Like, he's good. So I want you to do something.

I want you to invite the critic who was criticizing how he looked. Yeah. And then any other parts that have been defending him all this time. Yeah. So maybe they're, you know, the part that always has to defend all kids you know just any of the other parts that come maybe shame is another part that was there

so I can invite them to come see this kid so they are seeing him in his element totally carefree happy they don't know dad owns a bunch of arcade machines and they're in the house right they don't know that they can yeah no they don't need to know anything they just need to see that this kid is okay okay because those kids they never liked me

they just liked those games in the house right yeah no i using you for zaxon so can they see him can they see that he's okay i love that saxon's the one you use that's funny um yeah they i think he's better yeah he's having a pretty good time and they probably would have a better time all right so just see if they have anything they want to say are they good well a couple of them i want to apologize for laughing when the coach said the thing he said yeah uh a couple of them didn't even really notice it had happened. Like, they weren't even aware of it.

They were distracted by their own hangups. Yeah. And one of them's making a small sculpture using his earwax on the table next to us. Okay. So you can just tell them all thank you for coming and that they don't need to work so hard to protect him because he's okay. Yeah. Okay. All right.

So one last thing. I want you to give that kid a hug. and say whatever he needs to hear as this he's totally safe and you're God is back and you're happy to help him in any way you ever needs just like you're the adult that is God is back and he's okay yeah okay I would probably also tell him that it's not always going to go well like this is you know I would I reassure him that this is small and stuff but hold on hold on he's nine and he's permanently in an arcade. He never has to do anything you're about to talk about.

So that's a different thing altogether. This kid is perpetually in joyful state of being as a nine-year-old. And he can be there forever. He never has to leave. He never has to go back to that baseball diamond. He can simply thrive where he is and be a nine-year-old forever. See, now that's funny because you said baseball diamond, which is a whole other simulation era in my life because when I was eight, we played

tea ball. Clearly there's more because it was soccer before, but yeah, no, I get your point. Okay, soccer, sorry. Okay, yeah, so that idea, though, is he is nine and safe and happy doing things he loves and all the parts of you get to see that he's okay. Sure. Okay. All right.

So now I want you just really quick, sort of scan yourself and you're just, do you feel any different? Yeah. Yeah, I do feel, I don't know about different. I don't know if that's the right word. I feel like that would have been a really nice thing to have at that age. It would have been really nice for somebody to. Because I think I kind of shut down about it other than Mark jumping in. I didn't talk to mom or dad about it or at least I don't remember.

Maybe Mark brought it up. Maybe went home and he said something. I don't know. Well, and let's take the, we'll go back to the emailer for a moment. There is what, What I just walked you through is essentially this concept of reparenting yourself. Right. There was not a safe adult.

Mark was the closest thing, but there was no processing with you that ever happened, right? No. And so there are many moments in people's lives where they were not given what they needed as children. And sometimes it can be like this sign of a story all the way to very serious, serious things. And that child is stuck in there. And so you might maybe have heard this concept before, but I just, without even planning to, walked you through a basic form of it of sort of how to go in with compassion and help a very young part of yourself leave that painful place. What do you do with people that maybe don't have the imagination for, you know, it's just hard for them to visualize it. How do you have that?

Yes, like me who has no imagination. It is not necessary to be able to visualize everything. However, it is so much more fun when you can because, well, for me to listen to because I can't do it. So it amazes me. But yeah, it can be very helpful. So you take this guy, like, you know, he probably can conjure up that exact experience. Often we can. But like for me, it's more of a body sensation or just like I can work through something.

It's not very visual, right? Yeah. And it still works the same. Is it weird that I can kind of smell pizza and I can sort of hear. ambient the ambience of an arcade as we talk not weird at all i even have at the handy i have this this is exactly what i'm hearing in my head this sound like just a big arcade yeah big arcade yeah and there's pizza coming you just put a microphone to your head and that's what we're hearing yeah that's basically it's weird i actually do kind of have sensory i i can yeah i can put myself there in a

very very real way it's a weird amalgamation it's a weird amalgamation though like it's like every arcade I've ever been to all in one or you know it's it's chucky cheese and pizza hut and yeah and it's stupid pitchers of root beer yeah yeah um okay so i i i just want to say this last thing to the emailer like if you're hearing this thing going what you just don't usually do these things by yourself and scott is also publicly doing a thing i did not get him to sign a consent form to do no i don't care So please know, it's way more effective and helpful for you to have someone help you through some of these things. You may say, well, that's weird. I don't want to go through all that effort to just let go of this memory, which I should just forget, but somehow I'm not. Just trust that if it keeps coming back, there is a reason and it needs help to stop doing

it usually. So this is, most of my job is to help people find those places that get stuck and help them free that up. And it's usually because there's lots of parts of you just trying to protect a very young part of you. Anyway, so there you go. Is that too much? I don't know. I don't think so.

I don't think so. The real test is for the next six months, what happens when you see a kid not doing well? Is it triggering the same way? You can still go help the kid and defend them. But are you having such anger reaction? You know what I mean? You start to shift when. this work happens. A lot of my clients will just stop having, you know, they almost forget that

they used to get like violently ill or angry about certain things or, you know, it just, it shifts. The whole system calms down. So it'll be interesting to see if you notice any different. Yeah, I'm curious too. Because that's what I didn't expect, I didn't even think about it when I pulled the email. I thought, oh, this is an interesting case. We'll talk about this guy and whatever. But I had, I'd forgotten in that moment, I'd forgotten that I had a very parallel experience to this. And it really, it didn't really click with me until we started talking about it. But that feeling of like, you did mention that story last week. I did.

Yeah. I knew I did it recently. I couldn't remember how long ago it was, but I brought that up before. And it's come up, I think it's come up multiple times in the segment over the 12 years. Yeah, maybe my dreams. It's just a hint. Maybe my dreams will chill out now, you know. That's because of the sleeping.

The chicken was a baby. The chicken was a baby the whole time. All right. Well, as always, insightful stuff. Hope everybody at home got something out of that. And I know that this listener probably did. I know I did. So we'll do it again next time.

Wendy, we're hurtling towards Thanksgiving. Yes, hurtling. Yeah. How's that going there? Everyone's good. Good. We could just say goodbye. And we could just say goodbye.

Oh, real steps. Onorg, everybody. Go read about it. I'll see you later. Bye. We could just say goodbye. We could just say goodbye. You know what?

That's going to be. if that's a book title, we could just say goodbye. I think we do need to isolate that out as a clip. We could just say goodbye. That was pretty funny. Tell them where they can find you. We could just say goodbye. Yeah, we don't have to do the podcast thing where there's always like a special thing.

Where can people find you online? Oh, I hate that. I hate it, but I do it. Yeah, you and I both. I hate it, but I do it. Maybe we're supposed to do it. I don't know. Are we supposed to?

What is A&TP saying? Brian, you're the CEO of all things America's top podcaster. The judges do say, oh, you do that same thing at the end. Tell people where they can find you. Because we've come up with other creative ways to do it, right? Like, hey, tell me about a tweet that you're really proud of recently or something you post online that you're really proud of. It's like, oh, well, yeah, if you go to my Facebook page, you can see this piece of artwork that I did. I do like that.

You know, it's like you direct them to something that's not just find me online at at, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, but I feel like here's a good way to say. kind of the NPR method, but you say, you get to the end of the interview, you've had like another one, a great question toward the end, which is like, so do you think your mom was responsible, whatever, whatever, and they go, blah, da, blah, blah, I'll tell you your answer. And then you say, the book is such and such. It's by so-and-so, my guest. Oh, sure. Go check it out on Amazon. Thanks so much for being here. You end the interview. That's right. It's the, it's the David Labman. We'll be right back with Arcade Fire. Yeah, there's Arcade of Fire, Paul. The book is called, we could just say goodbye. We'll be right.

back with Arcade Fire, just right after this. Wendy Johnson, or sorry, Wendy Dunford and her New York Times bestselling novel, we could just say goodbye. That's amazing. All right, we're going to get out of here before we do, quickly, I'll do a text. We got one more of these, 8014710462 is where you can send your text for this or any show on the network. This is from David. You're not at all a creepy stalker is his name.

No, no, he's not, he's not saying you're not at all a creepy stalker. He's saying that he's not your creepy stalker, basically. Yeah, like David, not at all a creepy stalker, basically. Yes, right. He says, Dear Seth and Bendu, Sith and Bendu, who's Bendu? I don't know. I knew what Sith are, but... Sith is easy, but Bendu.

Bendu, is that a thing we should know? Anyway, well, he says, I think, maybe it's part of what he's going to recommend here. Oh, it's the one in the middle between Jedi and Sith. Oh, Bendu. Bendu. Like, uh... It sounds like Bongu, which is Korean for fart, so I'm going to assume it means fart. It's Star Wars for fart.

everybody he says i think a cool star wars period to cover would be the origins of the jedi order there is a marvel comic series that goes over it and it's very interesting story all sorts of fantastic lore about even more ancient civilizations and how stuff like lightsabers were originally powered by channeling dark side force energy uh dark side force energy is a weird sense anyway so no good guys Force energy. There you go. So no good guys had them when they first started seeing use. Anyway, David, not at all your creepy stalker date.

That's interesting. That's really cool, actually. Yeah, and it's called, what's it called? Didn't give us the name. I doesn't say the origins of the Jedi Order. Maybe that is where Bendu came from. Does anyone know the title of that comic series? Because I'd be fun to dive into.

I'd read that. No one in the chat knows, I'll find out. I'm looking to see, yeah, looking to see if it's on that. page that I haven't gotten any of the stuff since Marvel bought them and started publishing them again and they left Dark Horse

so I don't know that they I'm sure they're fine I just haven't gotten into it sure yeah Claire what was the question Just repeat the last thing that we said back to you Claire That's right

Can you tell me the question I didn't hear it the first time What's a question How do I get back? Listen I've all I've got here Is this potato All right I got some stuff

going on today and the rest of the weekend. So here are the shows you're going to want to tune into. Coverville today at 1. What are you doing today? That's right. Oh, we didn't even you talk about it? Peter Noon is turning some monumental age. How old is Peter Noon going to be? Peter Noon. Help me and others. Peter Noon. Who's this guy?

I don't know how to tell you. 75. Peter Noon is turning 75 this weekend. He is the lead singer of a band called Herman's Hermits. This was one of the bands that was part of the big British invasion. and everyone always thinks about the Beatles. They forget about Herman's Hermits, the Dave Clark Five, some of these other great bands that came out during that.

By the way, Peter Noon's full name, Peter Blair, Dennis Bernard Noon. Oh, my Lord. He's all those names. Wow. That's a lot of names. 75, lead singer of Herman's Hermit. Of course, songs like Mrs. Brown, you've got a lovely daughter. I'm Henry V. 8th I am.

I'm into something good. Can you feel my heartbeat? There's so many great Herman's Hermit's songs that some of which were originally by them, some of which were not. Yeah, so there you go. Anyway, that's going to be coming up today at 1 p.m. Mountain Time, Twitch.tv.

slash Coverville. You're here covers by folks like the stool pigeons, the Bo Bremels, and even the former lead singer of UB40, Ali Campbell, right there, Twitch.tv.tv. And, of course, I'll be playing some Marvel snap during the whole damn thing. Marvel snap.

also core tonight at 5 p.m. Check it out. We're having a big show about all kinds of stuff. Is that PlayStation VR2 too expensive? Well, tune in and find out what we have to say. I mean, we'll tune in and find out. The answer is probably too much. Well, yeah, it depends on the games.

It's all about the game. And not being backwards compatible with previous games is a bummer. That's a bummer. Anyway, we'll talk about all that tonight at 5 and more and more of that. There's lots of core tonight, so I'll check in. Couch party on Friday at 3 p.m. Here, Mountain Time, so be here for that. We still don't know we're watching, but Brian and I'll pick something good in the next 24 hours.

Don't worry. darn right, we will. Prior to that, there will be a, I guess the connection. Got some new prizes to give away. You do that right before that, right? Like two or something? I do it, too. Yeah, so two, but we got half an hour downtime between.

And then, yeah, the thing I'm giving away is nobody won it last time. this really cool Wolverine snicked t-shirt. Oh, look at that. That's Alex Ross, isn't it? You know what? It looks like it. Now that you say that, yeah, it does look like that.

Pretty sure that is. That's a... Pinsburg's always great. And then the alien minifig of Queen takes Bishop. Oh, I love that. That's great. The art's a little weird, but I like it.

It is a little weird, yeah. It's like an AI made it or something. The actual toy, yes, exactly. The actual toy looks a lot better than the artwork on the side of the box. We are doing True Lies this weekend for Film Sack, so do check that episode out. That'll be on Saturday.

And that's currently streaming at HBO Max, I believe. Man, most of our movies come from HBO now. It's just the way it is. I think that's right. I saw Amazon Prime recently in our list. Was it Prime? It's like we were moving away. I'm looking right now to see where True Lies is.

It's currently airing on Hulu. Oh, Hulu. It is Hulu. Actually, Hulu's been doing really well for me as well for stuff I want to watch. For sure. Anyway, 1994 called and they want their movie back. It's true lies happening. It's funny, I know that year without even thinking about it.

Is that 20, is it 94? Let's look. It is, 1994. I don't know what my deal is with that. Brian, couldn't I take that skill and turn it into something useful? Like, nothing, nope. There's nothing, right? I can't convert it.

Shit. There's nothing. It's an absolutely useless skill. So I go back in time and talk to that kid in the arcade. I'm going to tell them all about. how we can tell them don't worry about years focus on something that's a little bit more career path friendly yeah numbers that go in your bank account not in your head how about that that's right uh that's it for that big weekend of content so check it out patreon dot com slash

tms if you'd like to support our show we are in the midst of a brand new month and it's a perfect time to join up for our monthly patreon we uh we do a lot of content for very little and even if it's just to say hey thanks here's a dollar we'll take it dollar a month nothing's cheap as that and we are not good at uh inflation around here so uh no no nothing has jumped or doubled you can just go get it uh for what you always paid patreon dot com slash tms you'll never get a commercial you get couch parties on the weekend you get the art in the mail you get the pre-show content every day and other monthly benefits it will benefit you by going to patreon dot com slash TMS. If you're looking for anything else, including that, you can find it at frogpants.com

slash TMS. And now, Brian will present a brand new song that isn't new at all. It'll probably be a cover and a request. This is actually relatively new. I think it came out. Let me see. How long ago did this come out? It must have been this year or less. No, it's this year. All right. Matthew wrote in and said, hey, stylus and Bowden Tube. Those are 3D printing deals. Well, Bowden Tube. I guess you're a stylus on Bowden Tube. There we go. You draw a 3D print. There you go.

By the way, Colorado Tadpoolers, if you're looking for a Witbox printer, I'm thinking I'm going to sell mine. Anyway, uh, cheap. Cheap. Cheap. This Saturday, the 5th, will be my last day working for my first job, a job that I got 15 years ago. There have been a lot of ups and downs over the years, but I'm really finally ready to move on to a new field and a new challenge. My request sums up my feelings and thoughts over the past few years of being stuck in in a wret in my mid-30s,

hopefully it can inspire fellow listeners and let them know that it's never too late to start on a new path. Love the show, though, Matthew. Well, yes, absolutely. This is a great song, too. This is a really, really good choice. And it should be also a reminder

that if you have not yet watched Tick-Tick-Boom, the film that's kind of a pseudo-autobiographical film about Jonathan Larson, the guy who wrote Rent. It's just amazing. It's still on Netflix. Go watch it. Tick,

Boom. And Andrew Garfield is absolutely brilliant. That's right. I was trying to remember which movie that says you raved about this last year. I raved about this, and I will continue to rave about it because it's so good. If you like Enkanto, if you like Rent, if you like those kinds of Lynn Manuel Miranda style. Jonathan Larson's style musicals, this is so good.

And this was Lynn Manuel Miranda's directorial debut. So you need to watch this if you haven't yet. That's great. I need to. All right. So this is a cover of a song from that. It's called 30-90, 30-90, all about having birthdays and just wanting to run away. This cover is by Sapphire, not based on the novel Push.

by Sapphire By Sapphire Completely different Sapphire Here is the single Came out this year 3090 by Sapphire All right We'll see you guys on Monday

For a regular show And do tune in for all our extra stuff this week All right We'll see you then Stop the clock Take time out Time to regroup before you lose the belt. Freeze the frame.

Back it up. Time to refocus before they wrap it up. Years are getting shorter. Lines on your face are getting. are getting longer feel like you're treading water but the riptides getting stronger don't panic don't jump ship can't fight it like taxes at least it happens only once in your life they're singing happy birthday you just want to lay down and cry not just enough birthday it's 3090 why can you stay 29 hell you still feel like you're 22 turn 30 1990 bang you're dead what can you do what can you do what can you do what can you do what can you do what can you do

Clear the runaway, make another pass. Try one more approach before you're out of gas. Friends are getting fatter. Hairs on your head are getting thinner. Feel like a cleaner better. On a team that ain't a winner, don't freak out, don't strike out, can't fight it like City Hall, at least you're not alone, your friends are there too. They're singing happy birthday, you just wish you could run away.

Who cares about a birthday? But 30-90, hey, can you be optimistic? You're no longer the ingenue. Turn 30, 1990, boom your passe. What can you do? What can you do? What can you do? What can you do?

This show is part of the Frog Pants Network. Frog Pants Network. Get more shows like this at frogpants.com.