The Morning Stream - TMS 2378: Probably Pacino

Episode Date: November 10, 2022

Don't Repeat the Pizza Rolls. Wiener Nougat. Jim Henson Whips it Out. Look at the big brain on Travis! The Beard of Knowledge. Lets Hear That 5150 Review! Be Afraid the Wrath of the Redhead. GoFundChuck. Silverado, why won't you come to your senses. No Straying From Correct Answers. TMS stands for Teaching Me Stuff. Trailing the blaze with Amy. Pinewood Derby Inside Baseball with Wendi and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Coming up on TMS, don't repeat the pizza rolls. Wiener Nuget. Jim Henson whips it out. Look at the big brain on Travis. The beard of knowledge. Hey, let's hear that 5150 review. Be afraid, the wrath of the redhead. GoFund Chuck.

Boy, that was a tough way. Get that domain. Gofundchuck.com. Silverado, why don't you come to your senses? No straying from correct answers. TMS stands for teaching me stuff. Trailing the Blaze with Amy. Pinewood Derby Inside Baseball with Wendy and more.

on this episode of The Morning Stream. What happened? Where are you from? From Planet 7 in the third galaxy in the fourth quadrant. Where? It is not necessary to repeat information which is correct in the original statement. I'm having pizza rolls for breakfast. The Morning Stream. I won't rest until Tom Cheney's barking in hell.

Well, good morning, everybody, and welcome back to TMS. It is Thursday, November 10th, 2020. I'm Scott Johnson, and I'm joined today by guest host and returning guest host TV's Travis. Travis, welcome back. Thank you for having me. You know, Bobby was on yesterday, and he's got longer and more hair than I do, but I have him beat in the beard. So I'm keeping the morning stream guest host, hair to head ratio. oh yeah at its at its maximum yeah and it really diminishes when brian comes back because he's

bald as a j-bird and uh all he's got is that little goatee so you know there's more there's been more hair in the last two days than we've had the entire run of the show so uh nicely done it's a it's a balance thing for the universe yeah we got to keep it in balance it's like the whole jedi-sith ratio you know you got to keep that uh somewhat in the uh in the in the ballpark of uh equal say. Speaking of equality, it's TMS and we're here. We're going to do a bunch of stuff. That includes some news. We got Amy coming up. We got my sister Wendy coming up with an email that I'm not going to read. Instead, I'm going to play it. She doesn't even know I'm doing this, but I got like an audio like AI voice read to do for today's questions. So that'll be weird,

but I'm kind of excited to try it out. So that'll all be coming up. Oh, shout out. I got a shout out to do. Hold on here. This is important. So I get this thing in the mail from Mike and Bree Bollinger, I believe it's how you say their names. Hopefully I haven't fully docks them because it's a unique name. Anyway, Mike and Bree sent me this little note and then a box. And the box is upstairs. I was supposed to bring it and I didn't. They say, here it says, Dear Scott, please never change.

We love you from Mike and Bree. Now, I don't know what they mean by never change. Do they mean my hairstyle, my clothes, my, you know, my, what I like to do on the weekends? Like, I don't know what they mean. Your general ability to recall names of people. Yeah, maybe that's it. They don't want that to change. And it won't.

Trust me, it'll stay. But they also sent a box of chocolate. I think maybe this is a hint as to what they meant, but it's called weiner Nuget. Oh. Yeah, Wiener Nuget. And I think Wiener's the brand. And it's got Nugget in there.

And I haven't tried it yet. I should have brought it down here and messed with it because they're actually kind on a low sugar, which is good for me. And I like Nuget. And it's got the word Wiener in it. Right. Are they shaped like Wiener? No, they're just like little normal-ass-looking chocolate-y deals, right?

You would think with the name like Wiener Nuget, there'd be a little phallic something. It feels like a, yeah, it feels like a branding miss not to do that. Now, maybe what they're talking about, so this is interesting. I don't know how they would know about this. but I have secretly, I haven't been overt about it on the show, I guess is what I'm saying. I'd gotten a complaint that I was fixated on Wieners too much and that I bring it up a lot.

And I don't think that's necessarily true, other than I basically am a 12-year-old and I think Wieners are funny. But I decided that day to basically not make any Wiener jokes, references, or otherwise. So any that you've heard on the show in the last probably three weeks, they either had to come from Brian or a guest because I was overtly avoiding it. And I have up to this moment. So today marks the first time I've even talked about any sort of context of a wiener.

And there it is. Wiener Nuget. Thank you so much to Mike and Bree. For sending that in. I'll try it and let you know on the show what I thought. Oh, also, look at this. So I don't know what you were doing in high school, but me, let's see if I can find this. Here we go.

I worked for my high school newspaper. I didn't work for it. Okay. But I was on the staff, right? And here is this. So I found this the other day. I was going through some boxes. Hold on.

This is, I'm afraid I'm going to wreck this and I don't want to wreck it. Okay. Old newspaper, yeah. Yeah, it's very old. So this came out in, let's see, this is March 30th, 1988's issue of. of the, of the magazine, or of the paper. It's called the Brighton Barb, B-A-R-B, like you might call someone Barbara for short, you know?

Sure. Which I always thought was a little bit weird. But the idea is like barbs, like, ah, journalistic barbs, we're poking you with the barbs. Oh, okay. Ah, right? It's a clever name. It's very clever.

We were members of the National Scholastic Press Association, whatever that meant. Anyway, so I'm looking through this thing. Now, I did a couple of, I wrote, A few times. One thing I wrote was a review for, I guess it had been just the previous year. Maybe it was 86. I think it was 86.

I wrote a review for planes, trains, and automobiles. Nice. The ultimate Thanksgiving movie. Yes. I was the special features editor for a while as well as the cartoonist. And so that's what I wrote there. And then the other thing I wrote was a review for Van Halen's 5150 album release. so there's that yeah that was real dumb

and I'll never read it out loud but anyway let's see this just gives you an idea where we're at the album was dumb or your review was dumb my review was dumb my review was dumb the album was okay you know I mean for the switchover we were getting Sammy Hagar and trading him in

for an aging Diamond Dave it was fine but anyway let's see here okay this just gives you an idea of the era of the time we were in. Right now, if you went to a Wiener Schnitzel, which still exists, it's a place and they have hot dogs and burgers

and fries and combos and all that stuff. If you went there today, you're going to pay about seven bucks to eight bucks for a combo. Normal combo. That sounds about right. Yeah. Check out the price on this thing in 1988. Like a buck 85. Big fat burger, double layer, whatever. I don't know

even what it was called. Deluxe burgers is all they called it. A bag of fries and a drink. Buck 19. Jeez. A dollar 19. Let's see what else New Age The Sound of the Late 80s There's a whole article on that

School attendance policy is confusing Says this student Why do I have to show up? Check this out This is great Junk food burnout says Jim Schaefer I do not remember this kid I wasn't in his group

He says sure I like the candy machines but I was wondering if there's a way to get the school to put some machines in along with the others, but fill them with apples and oranges. I think it would be a good change, and I know quite a few others in the school are feeling

this same way. Bullshit. This is some teacher wrote that, dude. I don't think a student wrote that. Seriously, no way. Not a student in 88. No, no, no, no. At all. Maybe, maybe by the time 10 years later,

I was in high school. Yes. Yes, maybe. Maybe and then even then, you know, I don't know so much. Anyway, but I don't want a vending machine with apples because it's going to drop the apple and then the apple's going to get bruised and then I don't want to eat the apple anymore. Right. Why would you?

So. Oh my gosh, a whole pizza for four bucks at Pizza Hut? See, this is just insane. Okay, how about this? Well, you can still, I guess it's only, I guess they're $7 now at Little Caesars. Oh, are they? Okay. I think they've gone up.

All right, here's fun. Here's one. Oh, I drew this. Okay, this looks like garbage. This is 1986. You can't see this at home. I'm sorry, but up top I did a little like above the fold art of a guy carrying a Christmas tree. Oh, nice.

I don't know why. What month was this? This is December. He's going the wrong way. He should be taking that tree to his house because that was December. Right. He should be doing Christmas. Anyway, then in the back, I drew this picture of these VHS tapes floating around some film.

I drew that, yeah, yeah. I was very bad then, but I thought I was good. Let's see if this is my art. Go ahead. You were not as refined then. No, I will say that. Still better than I would draw now. Well, I don't know about that.

That's pretty bad. Okay, I don't see it. I was hoping that Van Halen review is here and I would give people a taste, but I don't see it on this. Well, all right. Whatever you want to think of that, there's a little dip back into the high school years. I was feeling nostalgic. the bar, but baby, get it. Catch it while it's hot. Still the thing, I guess. The school still publishes a paper. Nice. That's great. Yeah, and it was fun. We had a really good time in that whole thing. I enjoyed it.

Yeah, I was not on my school's newspaper staff. I was too busy out running track and cross country and playing basketball and all of that. I was athlete all over the place. You wouldn't know it looking at me now. You've said this before and it's always not that it's a surprise because it's just hard for me to picture you running with the giant beard. But you were like a proper student athlete. That's a big deal. That was my big thing outside of class was all the athletics. I did three sports. Well, yeah, three sports until my sophomore year. Then I focused on just the running track and cross country. I was thinking about this yesterday. I think I spent most of my high school trying to be friends with every click so that there were no issues. And it really wore me out. and was like a full-time job it felt like.

But I would be like, got to be friends of these stoners out in the parking lot or else I'm going to get beef from them as I go get my car or whatever. So I got to be friends with them. And that'll pay off in other way. So, you know, if I'm friends with the stoners, they'll back me up if something weird happens with the jocks. But then I had, you know, I was friends with these jocks and the kids in the, you know, the basketball teams and stuff. I dated girls who were like total quiet little art nerds.

And then I dated girls who were on the drill team. I tried to keep it broad so that Scott was never accused of being in one little niche or another. He was covering everything. He had full coverage. There you go. Yeah. That's not a bad way to do it. I wasn't that dissimilar.

I was more associated with the athletics because I was always doing it. But definitely my friends were kind of nerdy and artistic. And we were doing films back in high school. as soon as we could do a video project for a class, that's what we were doing. Yeah, why wouldn't you? Of course, that explains a lot about your love of film now. Look at you now. Yeah. You're a big fan. In fact, I'm about to test your knowledge. Are you ready for this? Oh, okay. This is something I prepared that I didn't warn you about. That's how I do things here. And here's what you're going to get.

You're going to get some trivia questions about films as a way to just sort of test, you know, whether or not TV's Travis, who, by the way pipes up all the time in chat rooms and stuff with like correct answers to film queries you do it all the time I'm here to help yeah you are here to help so I figure you're going to do all right here so here's your first question you ready for this all right the code in the matrix like the green drippy code you know yep comes from what food recipe and your options are a through D I'll give you those options so you have multiple choice there a sushi recipes B

dumpling recipes C stir fry recipes or D pad tie recipes so all recipes sushi dumpling stir fry or pad tie which of those is the matrix code

that's coming down the screen and green because it is one of those things yeah that's a good one I knew it was recipes that I was familiar with I believe it was mostly Japanese characters, so that's going to, for me, eliminate stir fry and dumplings. Yeah. And I believe pad Thai.

I'm going to go with sushi. Sushi. You're going to go with A, are you? Let's find out if that's correct. That is correct. Well done. A production designer scanned symbols from his wife's sushi cookbooks, then manipulated them to create iconic code, which it does say includes some Japanese characters. Very nice.

Look at you. See? All ready. already what can I say all right here's one what's the name of meatloaf's character in the rocky horror picture show is it Henry Eddie

Chuck or Al well having just watched that last year it was Eddie let's find out if it was Eddie is it Eddie nice job geez you're gonna ace this I didn't know that I didn't know who meatloaf it is my second favorite meatloaf character

behind Bob Bob fight club Oh, fight club, right. Oh, yeah. Just because it was so great, he had lost a bunch of weight before Fight Club, and then they ended up putting him in a big old fat suit anyway. Yeah, why not? For the movie.

He's meatloaf. Put him in, put him in the suit. Exactly. Okay. That would be years before we saw him square down with, uh, what's his name? I can't think of his name. Who did he fight with on the apprentice, uh, freaking, um, oh, well, I'm not sure. I never watched The Apprentice.

Yeah. I didn't either, but there was a, this one scene that got clipped and shown everywhere and it was him and Gary Busey that's who it is. Yeah, I mean, Bucce and it was pretty epic that fight and that's all I can see that. Here's

one for you. Who actually drew the sketch of Rose in Titanic? You know, draw me like your French girls, all that stuff. Was it A, Leonardo DiCaprio? Was it Billy Zane? Was it James Cameron or was it Kathy Bates? I'm

pretty sure that was Cameron. was it Cameron let's find out oh it was my gosh unlike jack's french girls kate winslet wore a bathing suit while cameron sketched the picture but he made the boob after you know oh okay he did you know she post production boo he doesn't know really truly what is lies under the the kate winslet shirt but he but he made it up uh yeah james cameron a bit of a uh sketch artist people don't realize that a lot but he does that a lot and there's a whole i've seen other stuff like concept stuff for Terminator and other things pretty cool yeah i find out i find a lot of directors can at least sketch a little bit they they tend to have really good vision uh for stuff like

that even if it's like uh i mean tim burton has a very distinct style but he sketches everything out so yeah i like that a lot and i really like uh jim henson sketches are cool because you can tell like he's not trying to do technical stuff at all he's just really just whipping it out but there's something about his vision for what a Muppet will become that's really palpable on page. It's really cool. I would highly recommend just go Google that people. Go Google Jim Henson

sketches and you'll be thrilled with what you find. Absolutely. Anything, Jim Henson. Here's one for you. Well, this seems easy. Whatever. Who voices Joy and Pixar's Inside Out, which just got, there's a talk of a sequel. I guess that's happening. I like that movie a lot. Anyway,

the first of 2015's two Pixar films, which at the time was a big deal because they hadn't done that before. Yeah. That was that and the Good Dinosaur, which I know a lot of people don't like as much as I do, but I think that movie's wonderful. I like the good dinosaur. Anyway, I missed the

good dinosaur. That is one I need to add to my life. You should watch it. Like there's a real pure story in that thing that's like not overly complicated, which is why I think people didn't, maybe they didn't resonate with it, but I just thought it was sweet and simple and beautiful and

fun and great and Jeffrey Wright plays the dad dinosaur and that's nothing wrong with that no I'm sold

anyway the voice of joy was Tina Faye Catherine Hahn Ellen DeGeneris or Amy Polar yeah that is an easier one that is Amy Polar

you are correct so far you're racing this thing I don't know if you've noticed but you're racing it I had a feeling all right here's I'm not even reading this one I'll tell you what it was

but I ain't doing it Where were the Lord of the Rings movies filmed? Ireland, Iceland or Australia. We know the answer is New Zealand, you idiots. We know this. All right. Let's do this one instead. Which country does Forrest Gump travel to as part of the all-American ping pong team?

Was it A, Vietnam, B, China, C, Sweden, or D, France? He went to China. He had already been to Vietnam, but not with the ping pong. Yeah. Lieutenant Dan. You are correct. Well done. It was China.

All right. which famous Pulp Fiction scene was filmed backwards. And here are your options. Vincent and Mia's dance scene. Mia's overdose scene. The C is the Royale with cheese scene, or D, the Ezekiel 2517 scene. Well, two of those are dialogue heavy.

So filming them in reverse wouldn't make a whole lot of sense. Although I want to see, I want to see the Ezekiel 2517 done in reverse. It was him going, I don't know how you do that. The dancing could have been, but I actually do know that this one was the overdose scene. It was specifically the shot of the adrenaline needle. You are. Correct. Damn, dude.

Look at your smart brain. Just full of useless movie trivia. All right. Here's one. There's one that I got wrong when I first saw it. So I'm not saying that you will. I'm just saying, you know, beware. Here we go.

Which actor is in the following films? The Outsiders, Waynes World, and Tommy Boy. And your options are, A, Tom Cruise, B, Matt Dillon, C. Rob Lowe or D.C. Thomas Howell. Hmm. Well, as much as I want to see C. Thomas Howell in a Wayne's World movie, it is, in fact, Roblo. You are correct. Nicely done. I thought it was Tom Cruise.

It took me a second. Because you said, you said the outsiders, Wayne's World, and Tommy Boy, and immediately I'm like, no one? Roblo's name didn't immediately jump to mind. I'm like, who the hell was in outsiders that was in Wayne's World? I forgot Roblo was in Wayne's World, or not Wayne's World, but Tommy Boy. I don't remember that at all. Oh, yeah. He's the son-in-law, or the new son of Big Tommy.

Oh, of Brian Denny. Brian Dennehy, I love him. Yeah. I miss Brian Dennyhy. Where do you stand on Silverado? I love that movie. Silverado's great. Oh, man.

I can't see a Chevy Silverado without singing Silverado. Yeah, and I can't hear the song Silverado without thinking of the movie Silverado. Yep, exactly. Yeah. Or mixing it up with Desperado, which I have done. All right, here is, we'll make this your final one here. Oh, wait a minute. I'll do two more.

This next one's so dumb. All right. This one first, which is not the name, okay? Which is not the name of the child selected to tour the Wonka factory, factory in Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. This is back to the old one, okay, the 69 one or 70, whatever. Okay. All right.

A, Billy Warp, B, Varuka Salt, C, Mike, TV, D, Charlie Bucket, which of those is not the name of a child selected for... Okay, so I know Verruca Salt for sure, because that is also the name of a great 90s-era rock band. They're awesome. I love Rukasol. Rook-A-Salt, so good. Yeah. What was the first one?

Billy Warp. W-A-R-P. Billy Warp. W-A-R-P in Cincinnati. I went to the same place. just now. Couldn't help it. I know. Billy Warp is not one of the kids that toured that. Let's find out if that's

correct. You are correct. There is no Billy Warp. What the hell is that even? What kind of a name is. Yeah, it's terrible. All right. Final. Oh, this is... Okay. You know what? Now I'm tempted to do that one too. Shit. All right, we'll do this one because it's easy. Freddy Kruger wears a striped

sweater. That is, which colors? Red and blue, orange and green, red and green, orange and brown. that is red and green you are correct that's an easy one all right final one who did the cat and the godfather belong to was it a and this is in real life not in the not the character was it a Francis Ford Coppola was it B Diane Keaton C Al Pacino or D no one the cat was astray okay so this is confession time the godfather is on my list of shame. It is

going to happen on weight you haven't seen at some point because I have to watch that movie. I've seen clips of it. I know a lot about it, but I haven't actually sat down and watched it. It holds up, man. It's good. That's what I hear. You should watch one and two back to back,

skip three out together because who cares, three is bad. But one and two, amazing. Based on the clips I've seen of three, I don't need to watch that one. Yeah, you're fine. At all. I am going to say it was a stray cat. Man, 100% answers today. Well done.

It was a stray cat they found. That was purely a guess. If it hadn't been a stray cat, I would have guessed probably Pacino. Well, there you have it. Probably Pacino is my new book coming out this fall. I'll watch for it. Probably Pacino on store shelves soon. All right.

Well, I think you did great. Nicely done. I know you did great. You got 100%. Jeez, Louises. I thought you might, you know, stumble on one or two, but you didn't, you did it. It's a nice job. Tell your mom.

Those are good ones. It just makes me want to watch a bunch of those movies again. I know, me too. I kind of want to watch The Godfather now, especially, I don't know, kind of in the mood for mobster content. So we'll see. Maybe this person on the line will help us with some mobster content. Oh, that music can only mean one thing. It's time for Read This with Amy.

here with book recommendations and more. Hi, Amy, welcome back to the show. Hi, good morning, friends. How are y'all doing? Pretty good, pretty good. Oh, good morning. Hope you're well. Hi, Travis. Hey, hey, Travis. I'm doing all right. I like how this greeting has gone. So, hey, welcome back. It's nice to have you here. Thursdays just wouldn't be the same without you. And, you know, even with Brian gone, we got to have a little redhead here. I don't know what that means. Brian's not redheaded. I don't know why I said that. But it's good. You know, you don't know. He doesn't have any hair.

No, that's true. That's true. Do you, the whole thing, you know, the ginger term and all of that, Amy. Did, was that ever levied in your direction? Do people give you any hard time growing up about being a red? Plenty. Yes. All of it.

You know, they, uh, did the, does the carpet match the drapes? Um, you know, like all the things. Oh, yes. So often. Yes. That's lame. I don't like that. You know, and like, you know, the fiery temper thing, you know, the, I never heard until I was an adult the whole thing about how the reason we have freckles is because they're like the souls of the, our enemies or something like that. Redheads don't have a soul, so they have a freckle for each soul they steal.

Oh, wow. That's a good one. I never heard that one. I don't know. I was when I was growing up, I never, I always just thought it was cool. and I wanted to be a redhead growing up. And even like when I had my long mullet stupid hair in the 80s and 90s, in the sun,

if it hit it just right, it was kind of red. And I used to think, and that is so cool. This is as close as I'm ever going to get to looking like a cool redhead. So for me, it was never like a thing of, you know, I should tease people. I always thought, man, I wish I had that. Yeah, no, I never really got teased for.

I got teased for plenty of other things. I never got teased really for being a redhead so much. Yeah, although, I mean, like I say, anytime I had any kind of an angry outburst about anything, it was, oh, well, she's a redhead. So I finally, I just embraced it. I was like, yes, and you should be afraid. Sure, be afraid.

Why not? I say lean into it. Nothing wrong with that. Right, exactly. Amy, I have to start things with a text somebody sent about you or a question for you. Oh, okay. So here it is. This is somebody said they just signed it as T.S.

I'm not sure what that means, but that's their name. Anyway, how many books does Amy read in a year is the question? Oh, gosh. What's a good question? I'll have to, you know what? I will let you know because I don't know. It varies. Honestly, I mean, I listen to a lot of audiobooks.

It's less than 50, but, you know, more than 20. I'll put it that way. Wow, that's pretty good, though. Yeah, because, I mean, you know, especially since I started doing this show, you know, I got to read more. Sure. It's a good motivator. Does it feel like a good motivator or is it annoy you now that you feel like you got to always have new books to talk about? No, it's great.

I love it. I love having a reason to check out new books because I was in a bit of a rut, you know. There's always the book, right? I'm sure you guys both have them, right? The book that you can always pick up and it's your friend and you can read it over and over and over again. and it's a comfort food kind of thing, you know, I'm sure, you know. But, I mean, I've read a few of those that I have like three or four times now, and I've read them recently.

So I was like, I need to go make some new friends. What does it say about me that that book for me is Stephen King's The Stand? What does that say about me? That that's the book I've read five times or six times. Yeah, I mean, and it's not on comments. I have a lot of patience for a thick book. Yeah. It's not uncommon.

I've heard that from a lot of people. A lot of people love that book. I love the stand. I don't know. It even has one of King's terrible endings, but I still love it, and I could read it now. And it's post-apocalyptic, which I know I like that. But it's also just sort of depressing and terrible in some ways. And I don't know why I find it to be my comfort book.

But it is. When did you first read it? That might have something to do with it. Oh, 90. late 90s I think is my first reading um okay book came out in 70 something they did a re they did a like a re-edit or he he did like a directors at it type thing that they released in the late 90s that's the one i read and then between then and now i guess the last time i read it was two years ago so it's been a bit but i read it in 2019 or 2020 again um which was interesting because it's all about a horrible

illness that takes out most of the population and i read it during the pandemic but Oh, geez. Yeah, I don't think I would have read that then. But I just love that book so much. And I, you know, the only thing I like that I've read even close to as many has been his other series of The Dark Tower, which is connected to that book anyway. It's almost like a sister series. But the Dark Tower series, I never get tired of either. But there's also seven of those books and they, you know, it takes a long time or eight if you count that additional thing he did. But anyway, yeah, for most people, it's probably like, yeah, I read a happy, glowie.

hoo-haha every year and I'm like in that wouldn't because it makes you happy or whatever I'm over here going no I read death destruction and horrible pandemic everyone dies and look even your dog agrees sorry about that well that's our the comfort book that

I've read the most is a book called the Illuminatus trilogy which is as close as I have ever been to an acid trip is reading that book it's a book that it's sci-fi but it's just way out there

like it changes time and date and like perspective sometimes mid paragraph you'll be you'll be like with one character and suddenly it's a different character in a different place and you don't know how you got there it's weird but it's a really it was one of those books that kind of

like unlocked my brain at some point and just made me look at things differently here it is Robert Robert Shea the first the eye in the pyramid the second book's the golden apple and the third's Leviathan Yeah. It's weird. It's not for everybody. I had a friend of mine. We started a book club, and that was the book that I suggested everybody read. And he came back a week later, and he had made it about a hundred pages in. And there was a scene that took place in Central Park with a squirrel. And he looked at me, and he said, if that squirrel in any way advances the plot of this book, I will feed it to you. Yeah. No kidding. Travis, you're an old soul. Like, how old are you? You're an old soul. Like, how old are you?

you right and you tell us your age how old are you i i will be 41 this okay you're a young dude all right just entering into your freaking 40s uh you're an old soul though you read old shit this this thing came out in 75 you know you know trivia about movies that came out long before you were born like you have you always been accused of this being kind of a i actually have yeah quite a few times i think that's really interesting it's just what i do you know the last book i read was i've got it right here actually was who censored roger rabbit The famous, yeah. If you ever read is completely different from the movie who framed Roger Rabbit.

Really? Interesting. This is like a hardcore noir style thing. I didn't know that was a thing. Very few likable characters. Yeah, it's based on a book. I had a guest on that had never seen the movie and I mentioned that it was based on a book and she did a podcast about books. So we did like a little cross-pollination and I read the book for her show.

And it's really good. I also did not know that that that was based on a book. I didn't either. I thought they made it up. I was sure of it. Today I learned. No kidding. All right.

Well, once again, TMS, teaching the masses things they didn't know. Teaching everybody stuff. Yes. So, all right, I got a couple things before we get into this week's book, which I actually, it's a happy accident. I would love to say that I planned it this way, Travis. But today's book is a happy accident that you are guesting on the show. And we'll discuss why later.

But I want to get to a couple little housekeeping things first. First of all, I want to do a little bit of kind of Mayacolpa. I guess if you want to view it as an apology, you can view it that way. But last week, I kind of nudged Scott towards, you know, reading the book about the doctor's name clearly an Asian name kind of thing

and it was a dick joke it was a low blow but you know as a person who tries very hard to unlearn all the racist crap that she grew up with I try to my personal rule

is I try to say okay if it's questionable at all probably best not to it and I broke that rule and that is so thus and I don't know nobody contacted me I don't know if anybody was offended by it or not doesn't matter I did what I I did something that doesn't sit well with me sure so I'm saying sorry I I will not do that again that was not that was not correct of me to do I need to model better behavior than that and I will do so in the future nice so there we go I like that that Out of the way.

So Dreadnecks and I have been conspiring. And did you know, we're actually coming up close to a year of this segment. Oh my gosh, really? Yes. How is that even possible? That's crazy. Interestingly enough, actually, the show that happens on my birthday will be a year, which is fun to me.

So we have. And I say we. Dreadnix has very kindly compiled a survey with some questions for the listening audience. And I would very much appreciate if everybody would just take a moment, fill it out, because I'd love to get some feedback and, you know, hear what you guys want to hear from me, the stuff, the stuff you've liked, the stuff that you have read as a response to hearing it on the show, you know, that kind of thing. and just what people like to read. So it's a really quick survey. It's only like four questions. And so it'll just take you a second. And I have posted that in the Discord.

And I'll post it here in the chat for everybody. Nice. And yeah. So we will compile those. And we'll do a little special segment on the one year anniversary of the segment. And I'll let you know what everybody said. I love it. That's a great idea.

You need to do that more around here. I think that's awesome. Thank you for leading the way. Trailing the blaze. No, blazing the trail. Trailing the blaze. Trailing the blaze. All right. So this week, what should I be reading? Because I'm dying to know. Good book. Yes. All right. So I have a clip. So we can play the clip. I will set this up only by saying I found this book completely randomly by audible suggesting it to me. So sometimes that's a good way to go. Sure. All right. Let's play this clip and see what we get. If I can find it. Here we go. She catches her reflection in the hall mirror and notices what everyone notices,

the seven freckles, scattered like a band of stars across her nose and cheeks, her own private constellation. She leans forward and fogs the glass with her breath, draws her fingertip through the cloud as she tries to write her name, A, D, but she only gets as far as that before the letters dissolve. It's not the medium, no matter how she tries to try to. to say her name no matter how she tries to tell her story and she has tried in pencil in ink in paint in blood adeline addie laru it is no use the letters crumble or fade the sounds die in her throat

her fingers fall away from the glass and she turns surveying the living room oh wow okay Tell me more. The book is called The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab. And it's really interesting. It bounces back and forth between the past and now. It starts in France around 1714. And so it goes between the modern day and the 1700s. And essentially, this young woman made a Faustian bargain to live forever, thus the Travis

connection, because of his affinity for Highlander. I kind of, I was like, who wants to live forever? But anyway, but she is cursed to be forgotten by everyone she meets. So as soon as she gets a connection with someone And then as soon as she leaves the room They literally forget she existed What weird That's weird

Yeah Like the book opens with You know she wakes up in bed With the sky Who she has been seeing for quite a while But you know she gets up and goes to the living room And then he wakes up has no memory of even he thinks that he went on a drunken bender and picked her up so how does it so is it like

specifically a room to room kind of problem like like how does the the for lack of a better term the magic of this works by just brooms or is it distance or is it they didn't see you first thing like if he if he had a woken up when she stirred and got up and he went kind of side-eyed all tired and blary or whatever would he have remembered her like how does it now i'm i don't i don't think so It appears not at this point. Now, I will admit that I have not finished reading this yet, but it appears that that is not the case, that it's just out of sight, out of mind kind of thing. And, you know, to the point where at one point she goes into a shop and, you know, the clerk helps her find a new outfit to try on. She goes into the dressing room, tries it on, takes the tags off.

and then leaves because the woman has forgotten that she was even there. So she can go anywhere and have any kind of commitment with anybody, and then they just go in the other room and come out, and they don't remember any of it. Correct. That's kind of great. When was this book written? I'm curious,

because this sounds very familiar or very similar to a Doctor Who side character. I think, okay. So the one that I'm reading, I think, came, out in 2020. Yeah. So October of 2020. Okay. So that would have been after. There was, there's a character in Doctor Who called The Silence. There are a race of aliens that if you don't look at them, you forget they're there. Right. Yeah. And so there's a whole thing with that where people see them and they react to them, but as soon as they turn away, they completely forget that they exist. Oh, weird, man. And it's kind of crazy that this book has the same, same thing

going on. I was just curious. I wonder if there was any like influence from that because it could have been. Could have been. Yeah. Because it's it's really interesting. So we get this opening scene where she's, you know, she's in bed with this guy. Guy is very confused. And she's like, yeah, I know you don't remember me. It's okay. And then she just can't. She's like, I've had this, I've had this conversation with you so many times. I can't, I can't deal with it this morning. I'm going. You know, so she leaves. And then, uh, And then it switches, the scene switches to, you know, early 1800s, France and where she's a little girl. And so we get sort of the origin story of it. And it's right when, you know, some of the old gods are starting to die away, but there's still some old people in small villages and whatnot who will pray to, quote unquote, the old gods like the river gods and the, you know, the whatever. you know and what now we would call like the parking space gods I guess you know and you know but most people are going to church and they're Catholic and all of that stuff and so they're praying there but there's an old woman who kind of teaches her about the old gods and she tells her very pointedly never to pray to the gods

who answer after dark I love that concept and it's really foreboding and I was like yeah that that that was the line that I heard and that that's right at the very beginning of the audio book they give you that it's right right up front and I was like oh I'm in what you know I want to know what happens when you when you pray to the God that answer after dark yeah that's some cool that's some cool world building stuff there that I would totally get into that I think I think I would really enjoy it it reminds me of American gods a little bit where you know this kind of concept of they're they're kind of dormant because everyone forgot to pray to them but the

men that they start to it's like oh shit we're in trouble freaking odin and everybody are going to come back it's right yeah exactly and like it's it's really interesting because we think we think of gods as like these all powerful beings right but really the our belief in them is what gives them their power and i don't know that just i just i love that concept there's a couple There's a couple of different books. American Gods is one of them that cover that sort of that sort of ground. And there's another one by Terry Pratchett. But I'm not going to give it away because I'm going to talk about that one on this show. I see. Yeah. Whether we call that sandbagging, nothing wrong with that sandbag content. Yeah. Do it. This is cool. Remind me of the name one more time. So we're telling people the right direction to go. name is The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab. LaRue. I'm going to write this down because this sounds like my jam.

LaRue. Yeah, I'm going to have to check that out too. Available, of course, on Amazon or wherever you get your books and audiobook and all of that. And I assume that clip is, that's who you're hearing on the audiobook, right? This person? She catches her. That lady? Okay.

Yeah, no, that is, that is not the author. It is read by Julia Wheelan or W-H-E-L-A-N-H-E-L-A-N. Whalen? Like the Huelan, like in aliens, the Wayland, the Wayland, the Robot Company. Isn't that a thing? Yeah, there you go. That's the name. I knew Travis would know.

Let's say that for a second. Travis is an encyclopedia of knowledge, so he would, of course, it would know. But, yeah. So, like, Whalen. of scary things has caused me to never see alien so i don't know oh you gotta see alien you gotta see alien it's so good oh amy come on now we gotta watch that's that's a thing we gotta do that that movie's rules all right i would much like you play scary games for the entertainment of us i will i will try and watch uh alien although y'all might need to send you know you might need to do a go fund

me for chuck for like to support chuck that for the fact that i will won't be able to sleep for a couple days. Yeah, he'll be, he'll have to, he needs to be compensated for his time. I understand. Right, right. Yeah. Makes sense. Excellent.

Go check it out. That's the Invisible Life of Addie Leroux, available wherever you get your books. It's always good having you on, Amy. I hope you have a great weekend. Thanks. Yeah. Yeah. And those of you who follow me on the TikTok, I have, I have an update to the whole health situation thing going on.

Oh, right. I'm posting that later today. Yeah, I've been following that. Go follow her TikTok. Red Fraggle 3 on TikTok, I believe, right? Yes, yes. And it's a great place to keep up what's going on with Amy directly. I had so much fun, by the way, Scott, I meant to tell you with, I know it's like silly and people do these, those little Twitter games all the time.

But the thing you posted yesterday about change a video game with one letter. My whole family, we're like sitting at dinner, all of us just brainstorming like, oh, mortal wombat. And my daughter came up with Flippy Bird, which I thought was brilliant. It's pretty good. You know, because you flip the bird. Yeah, it's pretty good. That ended up getting a ton of attraction. I was just like farting around.

That's usually the stuff that gets the most traction is when you're farting around. You don't expect much of the answer. But it was fun. If you want to go see that thread, it's up on all the places I post. And my favorite, I think, was, oh, I'm trying to find it here. Hold on. Oh, there was a really good one in here. Really good, yeah.

Okay, change it. I can't even find my... I like Mortal Wombat myself. Mortal Wombat's pretty good. I think that needs... Somebody needs to make just like a Mortal Wombat t-shirt. I mean, I would play that game. No problem.

Okay, there it is. Nope, still can't find it. Great. Well, I don't know what... I tweet too much is the problem. I tweet too much. I can't find it. I don't know if I saw it or not,

but I just thought of Assad of War. Oh, Sot of War is not too bad. It's a square of grass at war. Yeah, that's not too bad. Let's see. Can I find, oh, here we go. I really liked Word of Warcraft. Staircraft is pretty good.

Staircraft. Let's see. Gut of war, God of warp. Let's see, River City Random is pretty good. I like fogger instead of Frogger, just fogger. Fogger, yeah. Mania Manson, which spelled like Manson, like. what's his name that kill everybody or had people kill people anyway and sheet

fighter is pretty good I like that a sheep fighter yeah there's some really good ones these are so fun like it's just like we just we sat here just you know trying to brainstorm all of them my son came up with like world of waxcraft and I was like okay okay how you like how you like got or see over sorry oven watch is pretty good oven watch that was It was the other one that absolutely made me cackle at it. Like, you know, when my daughter said Flippy Bird, I thought that was hilarious. And then the oven watch was absolutely brilliant.

That was a really good. Overn Watch is genius. It's really good. It's no good. That's no good. We don't want that one. Anyway, fantastic work. Duck Hunt is way too low hanging low brow fruit.

Yeah, lots of fruit hanging low on that one. Yeah. Watch for the fruit. It'll whack you in the face. All right. That's a, that's going to do it. Have a fantastic. week. We'll see you next time for another

read this with Amy. Bye. All right. She's out of here. Oh, it's time to, we're going to take a break. When we come back, my sister Wendy will be here. We've got a thing to read. And when I say to read, I mean a robot will read it. Oh, boy. Yeah, it's going to be exciting. So stick around for that. In the meantime, I'm going to play a song. This is a indie in the middle provided to me via Brian Ibit. He very kindly did this so that I didn't have to struggle too much

with music while he was out. and uh this is a song by a band called uh where is it oh rising hip hop artist releases latest single is it worth it the band is asteris asteris okay i think i'm saying that right i hope i say it right anyway it's supposed to be really good um the cover of this thing looks like it's some kind of weird 90s album and i'm i'm kind of all about that so anyway here's that song. We'll play it now. When we come back, my sister Wendy and more. Stick around. We'll be right back. Oh my God, Paul. Paul. Because I know the world

Oh, no. If I do not reach the star. So tell me a bit of work. Because nowadays you're Hollywood. Tell me if it means a thing. Tell me if you lose your love, is it worth gaining everything? We started out in a sin.

Got those with some gasoline. Gave me things that helped a bit, but in time we're just damage And I see my dream so close How you feel it now? Yeah, I'm about to blow I'm feeling out but I need so hell because I spent so long just hear myself So don't leave me, just trust me, you're on me tight and love me I'm about that chill, don't let me phone We'll be your here with all this word on this

If we jump in never fall Because I don't don't care of all the world. If I do not reach the stars. So tell me a business. As long as the water goes over the Great Falls, the generators will keep producing electrical energy. Nothing wrong here. Well, that's not entirely true. The morning stream.

Hey, don't die on me yet. And we're back. That song, once again, was Is It Worth It from Asteris? That album will be available. It looks like next week. Something to that effect. So keep your eye on that asterisk. also on tour right now and all over the place. So look for him showing up here in

Orham, Utah, then Spokane, Washington, Seattle, Washington, Portland, Oregon, Sacramento, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Mesa, Albuquerque, and more. Oh, geez. Go. I don't know what that was. Things are falling apart over there. That's my class ring. Just kidding.

I don't know what it was. All right. We're at that stage, guys, where we need to learn something about ourselves and each other. Yes. And that means when we're. Wendy's on their way, or on her way. She identifies as a her as a she. It's fine.

So I'm not inaccurate in my description. Anyway, here's this. Everyone knows it Wendy. Hey, look who it is. It's my sister Wendy. She comes on the show on Thursdays and puts her expertise out there for you to use. She just sticks it right out there and says, here, use this. Yeah, sometimes you just need things.

Wendy, hello, and how are you? Hi. Hi, I'm well. How are you guys? We're good. Brian's not here, but we have Travis. sitting in as a co-host today. Travis say hi to Wendy. Wendy say hi to Travis. Hi, Wendy. Hi, Travis. I like to facilitate the greetings, you know. He's off for a concert weekend thing

in California, but nonetheless, here we are. So I was going to ask you a question, something about, oh, I sent you a box. Did you get a little box yet in the mail? Maybe today, but I didn't look, you know, Amazon could have been. I didn't look. I just put it in the house. Well, the thing I sent came directly from us. It's either on its way or there. And when you get it, you'll know. You'll know what's going on when you get it. Okay.

Yeah. I'm very excited, though, for you to get this. Oh, okay. So I'm going to go get it right now and open it live. Yeah, if you want. I don't know if it's from Amazon. It's not it, though. It's something else.

Well, I don't know if it's from. Oh. It was like a nicer quality box. So I was confused. Is it big? Is it small? How big is it? It's medium, medium, say?

Hmm. How small are you? Does it say where it's from? I will go. I'm just in the other room. So, everyone, let's take a tour. Let's take a tour of the house. Here we go.

Let's see if the Internet still works as we go. So far so good. Looks like, you know, you think I'd look at the name on something. Wendy Dunford from nobody. Doesn't say anybody. Oh, it could be us. I bet it's you. Should I do it?

I mean, oh, it has Amazon on the side. No, it's not you. Dang it. All right, you probably don't have it yet. So it's just when you get it, though, just, you know, send me in text or whatever. Because you'll get the, it's not even a joke. You'll just get the thing.

You'll get it. You'll get it and go, ah, I get it. And then you'll tell me. All right. Okay. Or it's not a joke. No, it's definitely not a joke. No, it's not going to blow up in my face.

No, none of that. Okay. I'm not you on, I'm not you on April 1st. It's all good. A glitter bomb. Yeah. Those are the worst things. Those are the worst, right?

Oh. I don't know if I've ever had to deal with one, but I've seen plenty of video. I don't. I mean, Have you had ever a little glitter on your finger? Yeah, a little. Sometimes. It's probably still there.

Okay. I dated a girl once in high school that wore, had a lot of glitter on her face. Oh. Her name was Tina. And one time I, I think I never, it wasn't like when we made out or anything, but I hugged her at the end of a date and went home and the right side of my face was covered in glitter. You know, had little glitter bits. I thought that was a little weird. And mom's like, what did you know for like the next three months, no matter how many showers you took in still?

Yeah. A late 80s story. Oh, yeah. I remember telling her mom saying, what is that? I said, oh, I don't know. And she said, I don't know, some David Bowie joke, which I thought was funny for mom at the time. Anyway, none of that matters. Let's get to the psychology of the moment.

Now, I sent Wendy an email that is actually, we're going to play it in audio form. This is a AI robot reading this. Is this so we don't have to hear you misread? Yeah, this is, well, there's two reasons. One, I wanted to test this new service I signed up for to do some. There's other reasons I need this. And I thought, oh, this would be an interesting way to do this giant long email. So there are moments in this where it's very naturally read.

And there are other moments. A couple of times we were like, oh, yeah, there's a robot doing this. So I just, you know, let me put that out there. It shouldn't diminish anything or be too distracting. But I'll just get to, we'll get to this week's thing. It's about six minutes long. Here is The Read. I am a longtime listener of the show, January 2013.

and I love the advice Wendy has given on various topics over the years. Thank you, guys, for all of the great advice and content. I am also a longtime patron, even if it is only $3 a month, and if you hear this and listen to the show, become a patron. These guys deserve it. Yeah. Now, onto my topic, I am 43 and my wife is 44. We have two children, a 15-year-old boy and a 12-year-old girl.

We have been married for 18 years, and we both have good careers that are not very demanding. By all accounts, we are a happy, stable, well-adjusted family. We are religious and attend church twice a week. We are not what you might think of as crazy evangelicals, but we believe in God and the Bible and we do our best to live our lives as such. We love to entertain at our home, and we have lots of friends and family that we are close to. We are a multicultural household in that my wife is originally from India, and I am just your average white boy from Kentucky. Our son, let's call him Ben, started high school last year and at the same time finished

puberty very quickly. To us it seemed like he changed overnight from a chubby, reliable, studious, responsible and respectful boy into a young man with an altogether different set of personality traits, many of which were new to us. Things changed for us in our family dynamic pretty quickly. Ben plays lacrosse for his high school and has gotten very entrenched with a new friend group. Many of these boys are nice and their parents are very nice as well. Lacrosse practice is five days a week, which leaves not much time for schoolwork, although he still tries very hard to maintain straight-as.

LaCross is great because Ben loves it and it gives him that physical outlet that all growing boys need. Ben is still doing very good in school, he is nice to his sister, and is involved in church in healthy ways. The problem we are having with Ben is his attitude towards us and the use of his phone. if we were going to do it all over again, we probably would not have given him a phone until he was 16 or 17. But as it was, we gave him a smartphone in fifth grade so that we could contact him wherever, whenever. But as he has gotten older, we have relaxed time and app restrictions and he has only started to abuse it. Adults are guilty of this too, of course. Looking at his screen time report, five hours per day is normal. This just really gets under our skin because we have

talked and talked to him about healthy limits. We want him to exercise the healthy limits himself without us having to put restrictions back on the phone, but he resents that greatly, and it seems to damage the relationship, he says, I am 15, I am old enough. It does not help the fact that his friend's parents seem to care little or not at all about their children's time on their phone so Ben compares his lack of freedom to their total freedom. We also are fully aware of the algorithms of apps like TikTok, Instagram Reels, and how they suck your attention and brain away for hours if you let them. Of course his TikTok feed is full of pretty girls showing off their bodies, which is normal for a 15-year-old boy, but also not in line with the values we teach

about not objectifying women and cultivating relationships over living in constant lust, obling women all the time. We did remove Instagram, Snapchat and TikTok to help him reorient his focus and bring down his screen time, but we are not putting other time or app limits on the phone. The bigger problem we have is his lack of respect for us. Ben has gone. Ben has from a sweet boy that we can count on to a rude and disdainful teen that resents us. Ben will cut us off and snap at us when we are talking to him. My wife and I both have short tempers and we have played our part in escalating the situation when we should have been a more calming adult presence. We are working on this and we talk together about how we can improve.

Incidentally, my wife and I have a very healthy marriage and we communicate and strategize on how best to work with Ben as his parents to get the best possible outcome. I understand. I understand understand that our punishments play a part in this, but now we are in this sad and dramatic standoff where we remove privileges from him, phone, sleepovers, etc., until his attitude improves. His attitude will improve until we give him his phone back, and everyone relaxes and he sinks back into his phone, and things seem okay. But then something will come up and he will speak disrespectfully to his mom and we will address it, and he does not listen and the cycle starts all over again. He ignores us, rolls his eyes, and seems to always need to get

that last spiteful word in. Ben has been in trouble at school for sharing a racist meme and we also found pictures on his Instagram where he trespassed, got onto a school bus and took pictures of himself and a friend on top of the school bus and posted to Instagram. These are 15-year-old hijinks for sure, but they also are alarming in the sense of race sensitivity as well as respect for others' property. We have talked through these mistakes with him and he seems to have learned from them. Regarding the attitude and disrespect, we have spoken to other parents who his advice is to just keep taking things away until he behaves. This sounds good, I guess, but also does not sound healthy. He is 15 after all, and he will have to grow up eventually.

Things have gotten so oddly around here lately that I actually worry whether or not we will have a good relationship with him when he is a grown man, and that scares me. My wife can be very forward and direct. When Ben is explaining something about his behavior and it is obviously a thin excuse, my wife will often reply sarcastically or laugh and this of course really really gets under Ben's skin. He is thinking, why should I respect you when you clearly do not respect me? I have to admit, he has a point. I often find myself as a peacemaker, trying to calm things down and settle everyone. Ben will often come to me alone and ask my advice and confide in me about why he thinks his mom is unfair and how it hurts him the way she treats him. I give him

strategies to help communicate with her and I work with her to try and improve the way she communicates. But things just do not seem to be getting any better. This is going on close to a year and our once very happy family is being pulled apart by this constant tug of war. Ben will use things against us that we have said in previous conversations and he is openly belligerent. It used to be, we would ask him to rake the leaves or cut the grass and he would just do it, no questions asked, with a smile on his face. Now, when we ask him anything like this, he asks Wyand pushes back until we get into a discussion on who the authority figure is in the house and it just ruins everything. I worry about my 12-year-old daughter who is in the room

during some of these fights and I know it is not healthy for her to be exposed to all of this back and forth. Part of me wants to keep up with the punishments and force compliance, but the other part of me seems to know that he needs his freedom. He is a very lovable and handsome young man with a lot of friends, but that means he is also not humble at all and can be very conceited. Maybe let him act like this outside and let him learn some of the lessons on kindness and humility that we have been trying to teach him. Help. Confused in Kentucky. All right. There's Confused in Kentucky. Bred by Nate the Robot, who read that. That stuff's getting creepy good. But anyway. It is. It's also like cheery the whole time, which is strange.

I know. It's a little weird. It was like the tone never changed. There was actually a key change at one point he went up and went up a half step yeah for sure but you know as long as it was I think it's good we we like getting details here because it and you guys know how Scott would have sounded doing that so yeah yeah I would have sounded like you know I would have effed up three words I would have said something dumb in the end I would have had a joke in the middle distracted at some point all these things happen that's what happens okay anyway so what do you want to do here this feels like teenage 101 oh yeah totally and the age range is perfectly normal normal, right? This is, this is the oldest child and you have no idea what's actually coming, especially when he starts out sweet.

It can be very jarring and difficult, right? And so, you know, I've now had two kids go through this age range. Scott, you've had three. Travis, I don't know what your experience is, but I would avoid it if you could. I had one sound, I was a part-time parent for a while. Okay. From like basically toddler to he's 16 now. Okay. All right. So you've seen some things.

Yeah. Okay. So a very common sort of shift, especially in young boys to sort of puberty hits, the how I know I'm cool stuff really, you know, gets going. And then just whatever your parents have always taught you, starts to become a place to push on, right? Right. And that seems very clear here that, you know, there's like a reasonable level of thinking about things, but a kid's going to push against it. Now, you could take any scenario and have pressure from the parents around. So like in their case, clearly, there's a lot of religious beliefs and religious behavior that they're expecting. And so that's where a kid will push in some form. Sometimes it's direct rebellion against the religion itself. Sometimes it's

just some of the rules or you as the people instituting the religious beliefs. It kind of a kid will pick a different target to kick against. And so that's not uncommon because that's part of individuating, right? Like who am I? Well, when I'm pliable and happy to make everyone happy at 11 and 12 and suddenly I have raging hormones, which would kill all of us now, by the way, if we had to go through it again. it's it's a big shift and I feel really differently and I'm maybe not enjoying all the same things is easily and then there's this whole new world online and with friends that give me

all sorts of other things to think and feel and so this is natural it's not it's not necessarily always a religion thing either right like nope it doesn't have to be at all in fact you could have the opposite where it's like why aren't you guys religious like all my friends parents Yeah, I was going to say, I've seen that, like, the opposite happened with some kids because, because, and so the rebellion they grab onto is, is one that seems, I don't know, like antithetical to what kids usually rebel against, but that's, that's what they're looking for. They're looking for something to grab onto and say, well, this is why I'm different than you. Well, and a way to think about it that's maybe helpful contextually is just that it is a normal developmental milestone to push back against whatever you are. are told you're supposed to already think or feel or believe or whatever, right? And so that's how we know if it was just you're going to rebel because your parents are religious, then that every kid who's parents are not religious would never need to rebel.

But it's a, and here's the difference too. You can have a kid who never rebels, but there was maybe nothing for the kid to push against, right? There was, you know, maybe not enough attention paid to what they were doing or who they were spending time with or how they were spending their time. so they're not rebelling. And those kids will tell me later as adults, and often I will work with them in their early adulthoods that that feels like neglect and is actually really painful and has ramifications

of just they didn't care enough to know where I was. They didn't care enough to, right? So the overall answer here is no one can win, okay? No one will win. There's no winners here. There is no winners. But there is, this is a marathon. on. And you are currently at whatever the mile is where you poop your pants. It is not a great

part of the race. I'm sorry, the entire race then. For me then? For Scott, it's the whole race. Okay. And for other people, it's when your kid's 15. It really is a tricky stage. I've had a lot of friends who've had a lot of boys passed through that same age around the time I did earlier. And the conversations we've had, it's like a little mini support group. Like, are we going to make it? And that is, it's healthy and normal what is happening. And what I'm hearing specifically, though, are some places you can do some things maybe slightly differently or think about it a little differently in Kentucky there to sort of manage this time and not do what it sounds like the emailer is really afraid of

is like somehow permanent damage that keeps them apart when he's an adult. Um, and so a couple things. Like, so let's tackle a couple things. And I'd love to hear your, you two's that's not. Sure. Hey, look, your perspectives. You're the expert here. You tell us how to talk.

I'm fine with it. Okay. Okay. So take, um, sort of two factors. One is the screen time phone thing. Okay. So we're going to start with that. Um, notice it was like, we shouldn't have given it to him until he was 15.

When did we give it to him when he was not, to 11? Yeah. 10? 11. So that's a big jump. Yeah, that's a big jump. Yeah. And so 11 on where you can kind of trust him and he's happy, go lucky, nothing's like that hard. That's really hard to roll back. And also I love that the kid is using, and every kid does, right? It's like they have a little book. They're like, okay, one day use this line. And that is every kid's parents let them do stuff you are not allowed to do. That is 100%. Yeah. When we were in Sweden and Abe, could not have a phone because I'm an American. And he would say, I am the only nine-year-old that doesn't have a cell phone. And he was absolutely right. He was the only one. And what was weird about it was actually totally empowering.

I'd be like, yep. And you are the only kid in this country who will get grounded. It's true. I'm the only kid. I'm like, yep, they don't even have that here. So it was weirdly liberating to be like, this is not about anybody else or whatever else. is happening is just sorry this is where your cultural differences are showing up um but what happens is you give a kid a phone pretty early it's just like give like right now scott can i give you a flip

phone back how you think you're going to do with that oh lord i mean i hated that thing to begin with i really hate it now i don't want right so so it's a version of you know as humans we aren't great at having things taken away no and so this is why parents will constantly use this example of i will take away privileges, I will take away, take away, because it is effective, right? A kid will stop being a brat for a while, but why does the cycle keep continuing? One thing is, their brains are hyped up on a steady stream of dopamine, seeing things they can't normally see in their regular day, you know, getting all the fun that comes with having a phone, and then having that removed, everyone would throw a fit.

Grown people will throw fits if you took away their phones. You take people, you know what I mean. remember on airplanes when you couldn't access the internet and now you can like can you want to go back it's not you know what I mean sure sure um that's why we're all going to destroy each other because you get away from us but you know you sort of you freak out so that's what he's doing that makes sense that's what anyone would do right yeah and then he can detox a little bit from that and then has to figure out some things and can be nice again and then you start that whole system over so you have to get out of that system and you can either do what the parents other parents have said which is just keep restricting but i want to you from both of your perspectives maybe

did either of you have this kind of cycling in your own growing up years where whatever you liked your parents would take it away so that you would comply with things they wanted you to do um you know what mom and dad weren't too bad about like you will not have bread like but there wasn't that there was no not under my roof really not really anyway um so the ways i would find a rebel would be you know they'd have to be more extreme like you're you have an 11 p.m. curfew and i'm 16 right i would come home at like three or i'd sneak out or something because those were the rules that they actually cared about like it was never like you're not watching cartoons on saturday anymore they were like no i think we get why you like those you can watch those like they

they didn't seem to have a problem with that. Like, I'm trying to apply it to what you would have with kids today. We really don't have a good equivalent to like a smart phone. No. Yeah, like it's not even close. So it's hard for me to compare almost any of this.

But, but for me, it was like, hey, if your homework's not done, no Nintendo. Or if you're, you know,

if you're out past midnight, you're grounded. I mean, those sorts of things. And I would feel very, vindictive about those things like mad like but i think you're supposed to right you're supposed to feel some of that like you said earlier it's like normal and and stuff but Travis how about you what do you have stuff like that where you're just like oh i can't live under this this rule or whatever

not too much i did i mean i didn't we didn't have cell phones we didn't have screen time like that so it was similar stuff where it was like you know get your work done get your homework done or you can't use a Nintendo. You can't watch a movie or something tonight. But for me, I think where it came down was I just, I, at a certain point, I was very different kind of in a, my family was much more religious than I am. And that was where a lot of our budding heads was,

is either going to church when I was getting to be like 16, 17, or spending time doing, you know, things have revolved around that and I just I had no desire for that so that was where my rebelling kind of came from sure so the the fight kicks in yeah yeah well and a big piece of of whatever it might have been for anybody and and what it this this is what I wonder did either of you and Scott I mean I had your same parents so I know how that this was not it's not the same thing like I snuck out all the time and dad would be proud of me when I know you had a weird You had a weird phase, but you know how parents go through that phase?

It's like, they're way more nervous with the first couple. And then later on, they're like, and plus they went through Tara's bull crap. And so they were like, yeah, Wendy's, what can Wendy do wrong? She can be out of a little lay if she needs to be a big deal. So maybe you're not a great example, but maybe Travis this maybe would apply more to you or, you know, and definitely to our emailer is, is I wonder, did anyone ever find out from you what you really thought or what you wanted or like, did you ever feel heard from anybody? It didn't have to be your parents, but just anyone at that time in your life? Or did you feel like it was kind of you against the world? I had a couple of teachers and coaches that I could talk to.

And that helped a good bit. But for the most part, I just kind of kept to myself on a lot of stuff like that. Right. It was more with like peers and friends that I would discuss anything. Right. Not really like adult figures. Yeah. Yeah.

And so that's what I'm wondering here with our friends in Kentucky. You know, first of all, you're, this is a biracial kid. Okay? Yep. Biracial kid in Kentucky. And like, I don't know anything about Kentucky. I mean, it's easy. It's easy to look at it.

I really hate the guy who is running, um, your state. Yeah. You're talking about McCorm. The turtle. Can he remember his name. Do not love that dude. I will have. He frustrates me to no end.

Um, but, but okay. So I don't know what that's like for this kid. I don't, I have heard many stories about lacrosse kids generally, like they're a breed into themselves somehow. And, you know, being cool and testing stuff out, racism is the new way for, you know, upper middle class kids to rebel. You know what I'm saying? There is, there is like a couple of things maybe going on for him that are just, you could look at and say, all right, Let's, you know, but has he, and it sounds like he talks to dad a little bit, right? Yeah.

But he's talking to dad about how he's not communicating well with mom and wishing, you know, there would, something could shift there. So it sounds like overall, let me, I should paint this picture first. Lots of good things in place here. Lots of good things. And it may be that you could just stay the course, get him through these couple of years, and he'll come back to you. There is a, there is a period where you go, oh, my gosh, that kid's like nice again.

and I like him and he likes us. That does happen. It happens most times, right? Especially if there is love and communication and some basic good safety stuff happening, right? I think sometimes parents get in the mode of they're losing. And whenever, like we talked about, when people lose something, we get a bit irrational about some stuff. And so losing the fear of losing a kid or a fear of, you know, a relationship not going well, we might start to, you know, be Lenny and Mises Men and just choke it, right?

And that's that control, everything they do and, you know, and we're skipping a really powerful step. So if we go straight to behavioral mechanisms, we're going to get behavioral responses, maybe, and that depends on how brave that kid is, right? Some kids just take off. And, you know, other kids will comply, but go real secret on you. And you won't know, half of them. And you don't know half of it, right? And we're skipping a really powerful step that it sounds like dad is maybe somewhat attuned to, but dad's playing the peacemaker in the house. And so we've got a triangle. And every time you have a triangle in family therapy or any kind of relational things, that triangulation can be really problematic. And it's that, you know, we're colluding over here.

and then this person and the messaging going back and forth, and it creates problems. This is not the, this is not the worst triangle I've ever seen. Believe me, this is really mild. But it's getting created. And what that does is it actually, unfortunately, alienates mom a little more from the kid, rather than having their issues together, their communication issues together addressed. Now, if we think dad can do that intervention and be that peacemaker, I mean, by all means, good luck I'm very well trained in that and I can't do that I've tried it doesn't work

in my own family you can do it plenty with strangers but not in your own family because I am actually a force in the triangle and so is he okay yeah and so this is where I don't love to say the answer is to is always to get therapy but is to have some communication improvement amongst mom and son and dad stepping back in terms of maybe his and I don't know how much this is happening but it sounds like parents united is really important but there is a breakdown of what does this

what does this kid really going through and maybe he can't tell you did you guys ever have things you didn't tell your parents oh yeah oh of course of course you do it's totally normal right and I find when my kids will tell me stuff and I can tell it's kind of a big deal. I will say something and they're immediately like wrong person. I'm like, oh, shoot. So I've just got to learn to shove my mouth, right? Because in their world, they're seeking out, and this is my coaches and other adults can be a really powerful influence on kids. They are that neutral space, right? So all this love, all this right intention, all this stuff is good.

we just want to tweak some things that might be helpful. So if I, if this case, obviously you guys just heard it, was presented to you with your own experiences and your own raising of children, what do you think this kid needs from them at this moment, knowing it's going to shift probably over time. But like at this moment, what do you think needs to happen? Oh, my gosh. I feel like the struggle. you know he talked a lot about how he's in the middle a little bit on this and he's sort of the peacemaker and stuff definitely this happens the roles happen and they happen if you have multiple kids they often flip so I it was often me who was the advocate between say Taylor and

Kim her mom but it was often Kim who was the was the middleman for Nick and I and it would it was literally just like a flip version of the exact same thing and which was hard to get our heads around a little bit because we just you know why why is that well why would why was nick a little bit more um juxtaposed to be opposite of me in so many ways whereas the girls would butt heads with kim and i would i'd be the one that come in and make everybody happy and i'm not sure argue it's exact opposite nick is you taylor is kim and who fell in love with who in this equation oh 100% yeah like no but that's my literally my only takeaway because the rest of it i don't understand like to me it's flummixing but but yeah at the end of the day i realized

yeah no nick is me and i annoy me and kim gets you and kim gets me and you flip it over the girls get me yeah no you're totally right like that's 100% the truth but it in the middle of it while you're in the thick of it it doesn't ring that way it's it you know it just feels different or weird or whatever. So when Nick's like 13 or 14 and he's going through his own little stages of rebellion or whatever, part of his problems

usually were like school stuff like he'd just not turning his papers in. He's wrecking this. He'd have amazing test scores. Just amazing. Clearly a smart, intelligent, freaking learned kid. But he didn't turn anything in because he hated homework

and he was just lazy about that and forgot to turn it in on time or whatever. And it was like talking to me. It was like a 13 year old me. and I hated it. It drove me crazy. Did you try to take things away from him to get him to do his stuff? I mean, we had a, let's see, a couple of times where it was like, look, if you don't, if your grades aren't up, you're like literally not going to graduate.

So until you can get them in a place where they need to be, you know, no Minecraft with your friend, Breton, who we played Minecraft with every freaking minute he could, you know, like stuff like that. Yeah, we would try to limit those things and say, it's all there for the take and you just got to get your other stuff done and then you're good. And then that was often that didn't even, that didn't matter. It didn't motivate him. Still didn't do it. Which sounded like 13 year old.

That's the question I would have for what motivates this kid. I'm telling you one thing I hear him saying is that he actually wants to feel safer with mom. Yeah. He wants to have a, a respectful real conversation with her. The desire is there. Yeah. Right. All of it prickly porcupine stuff a kid will do.

is actually a sign that they really want, they really want you. It's just right now, the way each of you come at it, it feels like an impossibility. A kid is just like, yep, see ya. Like that's,

that's more concerning, right? Yeah. Whatever you guys want to say, I'm just going to leave now, like that, the kid who fights, and this is true of couples, when couples come in,

and there's no juice left if there is no fight, right? And the fight usually represents that, you know, I care so much, I'm willing to fight. about this. That's why we, you know, Thanksgiving dinner is one of the best holidays ever, right?

Which is I care more about the people in my family. That's why we're going to fight harder than, you know, if you're eating with strangers, you'd be like, well, you guys are weird, but you would not, you know, so that's part of that. How about you, Travis? Did you have that same thing where you had things taken away when you were not compliant? Very rarely did I have things taken away, but that was definitely something that could happen. There just wasn't much to take away. Like, maybe take away my stereo. And then I couldn't listen to music. But, you know, then I just listened to whatever my dad was listening to two rooms away because he's half deaf and just listen to it at full volume all the time. Sure. It's also hard to get a big old stereo out of a kid's room.

It's a lot more commitment. More work than you've planned. It's just grabbing an iPad and walking away with it. Sure. Yeah. Or just it turning off the internet at your house. The power power move. Yeah. Yeah. And we didn't really have like good internet until I was already, uh, you know, 18, 19 by that point. So taking stuff away didn't really make much sense. Um, no, not really. And when I had when I was still living with my ex and her son, um, we would try that at some points. But we kind of realized that like that that doesn't help. Like threatening to take things away. Um, we would try. Um, we would try that at some points. But we kind of realized that like that that doesn't help. Like threatening to take things away. just made him dig his heels in more. So we had to, we really, really worked on just communication, good open communication about whatever it was, which with a kid is not always easy to do,

but we always left that avenue, that door open, that he could just talk to us about whatever it was. And that helped a lot. And it got better as things went along. And that, that was the biggest thing, was just communication,

just whatever, whatever it is, there's no, there's no taboo there's no subjects we can't cover just come to us and talk see now that's funny because raising my own kids we did the same that was that was the policy like no matter what we can talk about all of it whatever you want to say it doesn't matter what and i think that annoyed them a little bit because it got to the point where it was like kind of hard for them to rebel also i was as into the things they thought were there's like i was on facebook i was on instagram i was doing all these

things before they were. And I had way more followers than they did. So I was like, they didn't have those avenues to say, you know, these safe zones where parents aren't allowed. I was there. And it bugged them. I think it bugged them. Sure. Yeah. That's like if, you know, on the old days, you go to the sandlot and your parents are just standing there. Like, I want to play. Right. Right. Exactly. Terrible. And I think that was part of it for me. It's like anything like that was, you know, my dad and I would bond over playing catch in the backyard or playing. I mean, we had a basketball hoop in the driveway. And so I might be down sulking about something.

And then I'd hear the basketball outside. And that was sort of almost like an invitation for me to just go out and hang out with him. And by the end of, you know, half an hour later, we're just, we're chatting and we're fine again. That was always something that we could do. Yeah. Yeah, that's a great example of, you know, the universality of something. And it might be like, you sit down and start watching the Andor. And the kids like, oh, I got to see this.

All right. And then it breaks the tension and now we can talk again or whatever it might be, right? There's a lot of, those are great examples. So I want to give them some specific things to try. All right. So one being, and this is, I'm going to be, I don't know these people, so please forgive me for getting it all wrong if I am getting it wrong. But I am going to assume mainly because, and it's definitely a stereotype,

but I have had plenty of clients and then I live in a place where a lot of Indian folk live and the level of drivenness for a kid is astounding like I don't ever need to go to a parent PT meeting ever

everything is managed and I'm a really uninvolved parent relative to what I you know because just very involved very concerned about grades, very sort of productivity. And I don't know if she's an immigrant herself or she was born here. Yeah, we don't know any of that, but there's a culture around it, right?

Yeah, there's a culture and there's an ethos that and, you know, we talk to any comedian who has been raised by an immigrant parent requiring that they become lawyers and doctors and that's their whole stand-up is going to be about this because it's really intense and real. Okay, so I don't know if that's going on there, but if it is, this makes this a little tougher, right? Because that's so deep maybe for her that he is a productive good kid. It sounds like even from, you know, from the religious standpoint, like a good kid, all these things are really important. And so what's coming at this kid is that he's being a bad kid, right? And I want to just put this on everyone's t-shirt. It might be a good kid having a hard time. There is no bad kid here. There's only a good kid having a hard time. time and not good based on your measurements of church attendance and activity or um grades and accomplishments right so that little leak out of a racist behavior right that's that's telling when

you're a biracial kid in America that you're participating in something like that that's something to be curious about also getting on the bus and taking a picture is like the coolest thing ever that's fine um and that small little ways of just like trying to differentiate be himself and then how do teens do this their would be or their blanket that they take from their attachment to their parents to the world is friendships and friend groups so now he's in a friend group that maybe is thinking some things aren't so awesome that are the parents don't always agree with this is all really really normal stuff but if we have a fundamental view of this kid as um and i don't it doesn't sound like this is what he's saying but i am just kind of ask the question

you know are we just not getting the compliance that we want and that is really hard not to get bitter about get scared about think we're losing right compliance is not a sign of a mentally healthy child per se right when you see super well-behaved kids you got to wonder that parents other parents are jealous they think that's great that is actually a sign that those kids have gotten in line and they have definitely eliminated certain parts of themselves to please adults, okay? And some kids are kind of born that way. I mean, I have one.

And I'm like, I didn't do this to you. How'd you get this way? But maybe I have. I don't know, right? But we give all these messages about what makes you lovable, what makes you compliant in this society, in our eyes and our faces. That's what it's going to give you the smiles and the hugs and the praise, right? And if those things are coming, you learn, you learn, okay, I act this way.

I do these things so that I get the acceptance. This is how cultural, anything develops, right? Here's what we do. This is how we do it in our family. You will get reinforced just like a puppy getting a treat. Oh, you got a good grade? And then hugs and kisses and celebrations and mom's bragging about you. Right?

That's the message. You get a bad grade. What do we do? We take your phone. So it works to get you back to compliance. So I understand how easy this is for all of us to fall into. And all of us know when we were kids, which one we were. where we just making parents happy.

You know, we kind of know a little bit, but suddenly when it's our offspring, ooh, so much harder to be cool about it, right? So I would take Travis's advice very seriously, which is communicate, communicate, communicate. So for example, what is it that this kid needs mom to hear and needs to be heard? And maybe she's not ready to hear it.

If she's responding back to him in certain ways, he is picking up that vibe and he's just not being heard. And so is that something she can shift or maybe work through her feelings about? I mean, listen, I moved to Sweden and there were moments where I'm like, oh my gosh, my kids cannot become Swedish.

I can't have my kid do this Swedish thing. Like, they're like, no. And then I come back to America, I'm like, oh my gosh, I can't let my kids be American. Right? And I can imagine anyone coming here and just being like, oh, please let them not be like contaminated with some of the Americanness of teenage high school life, right?

For sure. So I don't know if there's some of that going on for her to kind of look through. And then for dad to look through sort of what is it he needs so desperately here. And a great question to ask both parents is this, what are you so afraid is going to happen if the kid doesn't get straight A's? Or what are you so afraid is going to happen if the kid, you know, isn't kind to everybody? Like is, and you have to be really honest with this. It'll, it'll rise up in you. It'll be like, well, then it will look bad. Or it means I haven't taught him well. Or I will lose him or so all of those deep fears. If you just scratch below the surface, you'll find them. And then that's when you start to get desperate and to not feel that fear. So what I need is a compliant child. So what I'm going to do is and everyone's doing the same thing. So shame and taking away stuff is the fastest parenting tools you have. shame means I will never be out of a job people can you please don't do that one and it's because it's quick effective and helpful to get a compliant person is to shame them right or criticize them or roll your eyes when they're telling you something stupid teenagey or um you know not listening when they might be a good kid having a hard time if we can start with that energy that this is a good kid having a hard time I don't really know why so getting curious about like why

Maybe it's not a super hard time, but it's hard enough that he doesn't feel like his parents are a safe place to talk. So maybe there's that. And that way, that's why sometimes you need to invite a neutral person to help you communicate better. Because that's not, it's not always easy to, you know, suddenly be hit with this puberty nightmare. And all the old strategies don't work. To throw back a little bit to this concept of it's harder when the kid is more like you than the other person. Yeah. um the what was i going to say about it had a really important thing to say about that

you're like oh i know what it is if you're if that's the case and you're trying so hard to have this policy of you know look it's all open air here everybody can talk let's talk where you know this there's no i'm not just saying not under my roof and putting you in your room we're going to let this we're going to hash this out if that's your standard um just just be prepared for this feeling of like it's really annoying like me me trying to tell nick to get better grades was so annoying to me because i just felt like i was talking to me and i know how stubborn i was about it and i was i just knew it wasn't going to go anywhere but you have to you have to somehow think outside of that and go yes but it's still important that this is happening it's still important

that you're being open it's really good because i'm guessing mom and son are more like yeah if i had to Yes, that's what's going on here. Yeah. And I'm guessing daughters more like dad. Yeah. And maybe that sensitivity or a peacemaker style is there. And so they're worried about her. Let me give just a quick thing.

Sorry, your story made me think of this real quick. For the younger child. Yeah. This is a great chance for you to model and begin that practice because she hasn't hit anything yet. That's still down the road. So sort of thinking of like, yeah, it's your trial run. And it's, you know. You're in the Pinewood Derby, and you realize you need graphite next round, right?

But you just, like, you got to learn from this and model what it is that you hope that happens with her. That is the most Pinewood Derby freaking inside baseball. I love it. I love that you use that as an example. I said that. I just suddenly was like, oh, you know, the first time you do a Pimerdurby. Yeah. No, because there's a whole thing.

You use that stuff to make the, you basically make the wheels. Lubricade is not the right word. make them so there's less resistance, less friction. And I don't know anyone who knows about that except kids who did Pinewood Derby. That's amazing. That's amazing. You got your graphite. It's funny.

I've never done it myself. I somehow know about graphite and the tires on a Pinewood Derby. It's in my psyche. Sorry about that. So anyway, yeah, but that idea of like you are modeling to her what you're going to do. So if you're like me, I'm the youngest child, I watched what everyone did before me and then I did none of it. because I ain't stupid and I learned that you know what this makes mom mad that makes dad mad and just I naturally probably didn't want to do most of the things you guys did before me but

like it was just so clear that you can just pick up and then your parents get a little tired and it gets easier when you're younger right but she's just watching I'm not sure this is going to damage her in any way that is like deep but if it's not a dress and they she just watches him get shut down for you know doing stuff he's not supposed to she'll just comply and be perfect and get all the praise and then we'll have a perfectionist on our hands right so like what we all think good behavior means in childhood is not great in adulthood um that that kid is just kind of nuts and doing whatever and the parents are mortified like oh i'm trying you know those are the parents I always go up to him like you are killing it that kid will be so successful

and they're like what and it's because that's not how it feels parents judge each other and what do we judge on if your kid is quiet in a movie when they're six no no no no or whatever you know what I mean it's it's kids are kids right we should all stop judging each other but I do think we have a a bias towards it makes me look like a good parent because that's how we act right you know right No, it's, man, while you're in the thick of this, it just seems. Oh, it's so hard. Hard. Yeah, and it is.

I don't want to diminish that. But you will get on the other side of it. You know, this Nick Grades thing didn't get in our relationships way. We, you know, we hug each other every time we see each other. We talk all the time. We play over watch. And don't you think the, just like an age, a magical age ends? It's like their bodies are used to hormones or something.

Yeah. Kind of how. And there's just a shift. So it will come. You want to just reduce the damage you do in between that and then. Yeah. That's really it. Like, just you need to hold out because eventually, I don't know, this is a weird thing to think of,

but it reminds me of an episode of Little House on the Prairie. Hear me out of there. Our childhoods are showing up right here. Yeah, no kidding. So when I was young, we would watch these stupid reruns of that show. And there was one that I brought up before because it just stuck with me and was kind of horrifying too. but the there is um they adopted a son at one point this is later in the series and the son got into or had to take morphine for a medical reason and again we're talking 1800s here so it's like

you know old doc brown up the road got me some morphine or whatever because of the gunshot or the horse kicked me or whatever anyway he got hooked on it so it was meant to be an allegory for drug drug addiction but what i got from it was the son and the dad are going through a thing And the son is going to experience a withdrawal. And it's like this very physical and emotional thing. And the dad is trying to figure out how do I be here the best I can be here for this kid? And the mom's struggling with it. And how does she be there for it?

And this stuff really stuck with me for some reason. And he pushed through and he made it through. And then they had a great relationship for the rest of that series. These are fictional people that don't exist. But the concept landed on me. And I got it. Yeah. And I still think that's true.

You've got to go through those nights of horking up, you know, throwing up all your morphine so you can get to the other side. And while you're doing that, it's bad, but you'll get there. I like that analogy. And I think the other sort of piece you can do in the middle here is to help everybody get really curious about what is happening in the sense of like, ask the kid, like, tell us your thoughts about when we take your phone, hear them out. Let them know what that feels like. Right. And get it.

What's really common is just parents to be reactive towards their kids' response and their actual thoughts and feelings. And a big reason is often you were not allowed to have any of those thoughts or responses when you were a kid. So for your kid to be able to have them can be incredibly triggering. And I mean, this is why every generation does the exact same thing to the next one, which is like, kids these days and br-da-ber-da-ber. And it's because we were not allowed or didn't have access to or, like, really, access to the feelings that these kids have, the conversations, the level of communication, the training, the difference in their social, emotional lives, it's starkly different from those who grew up in the 60s and 50s and 70s, right? And so some of that is just like everybody needs to check their stuff and then see if you can communicate more. And sometimes that's really hard to do without help. So just throwing that out for the last time.

Yeah. There you go. Well, let us know how you're doing with this. I don't know. I feel like this is a, you're going through a common thing, but you don't always feel like you got a lot of outside support when that stuff's happening. You're not alone. We should have everyone has this 15-year-old boy. I have a group.

Yeah, let's do it. 15-year-old boy group. Yep, that's called a boy band. No, wait. Boy bands. Also, next week, I have an email that we can use that's a really great follow-up, just about. how when you're an adult dealing with your childhood

family of origin issues at the same time you're raising your own family and realizing like oh no I'm creating these issues for my kids or what am I creating so I have a good email for that I think if you want to follow up because it goes along with this same one

speaking of follow-ups I have a tiny one for you this is a text that came to us via Frank who says Wendy's segment last week the healing of young Scott you know my whole soccer or baseball whatever it was The fact that I felt safe to follow along and heal my youthful self, the guys, you guys are amazing and what you are doing is such a gift to the world.

Thank you, Seth, Frank. So I just wanted to put that out there. Thank you, Frank, for that's awesome. And thanks, Scott, for doing therapy with no consent in front of millions of people. And for me, just going for it, because that was weird. Afterwards, I was like, what did I just do? I know. She sent me a text.

She's like, I hope that was all right. And I'm like, yeah, it's totally fine. Like, I feel like such an open book these days anyway. It doesn't matter. So, I mean, it matters, but it doesn't like. feel like there was no it wasn't like oh no I've unveiled I've picked it a scab I didn't mean to or any of that it right right it was good for me so I really enjoyed it I'm glad frank got that out of it hopefully you will too do you guys have your own feelings or thoughts

or questions or stuff you want us to talk about on the show even if it's really long and I have to make a robot read it you can send it to the morning stream at gmail.com but we also take your texts at 801 471 0462 just like frank did Wendy have a fantastic week yes thank you bye guys see you next time oh I was loud and also I can't find her thing to kill there it is all right

well Travis here we are now threw the phone down yeah she had it with that damn thing she's done I could hear her dog shaking its thing you know what's funny Wendy thought she never got a dog oh was that your dog I think she

so was my dog okay she she's got a little beagle as well and sometimes I can hear it when she's on the air she thought she would always never have dog and that she didn't really like dogs and then she got this beagle and now she loves that dog she loves them dogs do that it's like uh people that are like i hate cats i hate cats and then you get a cat around them and the cat sleeps on them it's like oh yeah now you kind of like cats yep that's the way it works i will say having three dogs and a cat is maybe a little much okay but i blame

carter maybe but you've also got built in heated weighted blankets that's right that's a good point I had the Weimariner laying on me yesterday very awkwardly, but it's so good. I can't even, I can't move. I don't want to move. She's warm. She's sleeping. Nope. Oh, man.

This one, Bella is about 70 pounds. And she will, she will force me. If I'm at the computer for too long, she will force me to go in the other room and sit in the chair with her. Yeah. And she will crawl up into my lap and lay down. I'm like, well, I guess this is my life until she decides she's done. I love that. I love that.

I love that. I think that's great. Jeannie says, I have zero pets. No, no, no. You have a chat room full of them, Jeannie. Exactly. All right. That's going to do it for that.

Quick note about some shows coming up this weekend. Couch party tomorrow for patrons of TMS. We're going to watch more Ms. Marvel. So if you're around for that, great. We'll put up the video after with our commentary as if you were there the whole time, if you can't be there live. So don't worry if you can. But if you can, that'd be great.

Brian will be home and plunk down on a chair while we watch that. so that'll be fun. Film Sack this weekend. We'll be covering the 1970s classic, maybe. Westworld from, you know, Michael Crichton, directed, written, all that business. That'll be then. We'll see how it holds up. I don't know.

I've never seen it. So this is going to be interesting. Oh, well, there you go. Yeah. I feel like this would have been a good one for your show where I had never seen it. But we're doing it for Film Sack, so I will have seen it. Anyway, that's this weekend. A new skim this afternoon.

Watch for that probably in another hour or so. Jim and I are getting together for a quick show. Core tonight, 5 p.m. Mountain Time. Big Core tonight. Lots to talk about. All right? So pull up a chair and listen to your favorite video game podcast ever. Core with me, John and Bo.

That's tonight. And what else? Oh, Travis, tell me what you got going on. You probably got a couple of shows coming up, yeah? So much going on. I was actually on Open Micers last night with Jayfunk-tastic. We recorded. That'll be out on Monday.

was fun. I love that guy. He's awesome. He's such a cool. Oh, it was great. Him and Jacob, and it was just a fun. We went, we could have gone another two or three hours. It was just, I couldn't stop. But let's see. Well, wait, you haven't seen. I just had a conversation about

the movie 12 Monkeys with Stargate Pioneer. Spoiler alert, we had very differing opinions on that movie. Oh, wow. I love that movie. I do too. He did not. But it was a really great conversation.

And then this weekend, I'm actually talking with Tom, Norm, in the chat. He's never seen Gladiator. We're going to watch Gladiator. Are you not entertained? That's great. You need to see Gladiator because they're making a new one. Ridley Scott's making a damn sequel. That's crazy 22 years later.

I'm ready for it. Hopefully it's not as bonkers as his original idea for a sequel. Really? No, I didn't know there was a thing. search for that and see I'll let you find it and just read it because it's like it was crazy okay well all I know is like

pudgy gray bearded looking Russell Crow is kind of my favorite Russell Crow right now so I kind of hope he's you know he's like old retired teaching other gladiators how to fight or something that's probably what they'll do that'd be great it'll be like

they'll be like the Tom Cruise top gun thing he'll come back and teach the youngs how to do stuff I don't know except if you won't look the same as he did in the original At all. But I've also got those were the days

that will be, we'll have a new episode out next week. That's classic TV. So basically anything pre-2000 we talk about. I do that with Audie Norman, Amy Frost, and Stephen Adams from to Tudork's network. Oh, very nice. We have a lot of fun

with that. Gore is going on. Oh, yeah, gore? You got the gore going? With Monica and Wesley. and, of course, let's watch Highlander. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the watch on the Highlanders. Yeah. Too much.

Too much stuff. I can't stop. Yeah, welcome to my world. It's how it feels. And you're doing a great job. So anyway, check all that out. Big thanks. Once again, dude, for hanging out with me.

I really appreciate it today. Thanks for having me. It's always fun. New problem. So there is some scheduling stuff next week that I'll probably explain more on Monday because I'll have more details. But I am flying for a quick business trip to Texas next Tuesday. There won't be a show that day.

Well, it won't be Wednesday. Thursday, I don't know yet. So Wendy's follow-up email, I have to wait. I'm not sure. I just don't know when I'm back. Anyway, I'll let you guys know what's going on next week. But things like Play Retro and Core, they're all being pushed to days where I'm back or haven't left yet.

So we'll be doing Play Retro on Monday. We'll be doing Core on Friday. So we'll try to make sure that stuff happens. But you will miss a couple of TMS episodes while I'm gone. More on that next week. don't forget to join us on Patreon Patreon.com slash TMS where you'll never get an ad. You get pre-show content

every day, including today. You'll get couch parties like I mentioned earlier, art in the mail, and more. You just got to go sign up and be like all those rad people. Patreon.com slash TMS, be rad or be sad. That's what I always say. Also,

no, that's it. That's all. That's all there is. Let's get them out of here with a song. We got a request. And this came from a listener. Let's see if I get this information, right? I should. Okay, here we go. This was from Harold Combs, which is both his name and a thing he does. Hold on. I got to zoom in. There we go. Hey, scoot and boot. Greetings from the Texas Hill country just north of Austin. Avid listener and patron since 2020, and I love the community here so much. Well, that's very good to hear.

November 9th marks my 44th birthday. And in September, I celebrated my 17th wedding anniversary. All right, I'm going to give you two of these. So wedding anniversary gets this congratulations all right and then your birthday gets this whoops not that and why not that that's fine um you get both those things anyway congratulations 17 years big deal starting a slow fight back from crazy town and your smiling voices every day really help and god bless wendy oh that's not and wendy's not here to hear it but all right uh for my birthday could i have a version of seven bridges road uh chosen by the covermaster hearing it puts me back into the high school band days listening to the Eagles on somebody else's boombox as we come home from marching band competitions. This was a long time ago down the Stephen Bridges Road. Anyway, all the best,

Harold. He's Dev Harry C. in the chat when he can get here. Well, of course. Bridges Road. Yeah, there you go. Now, the one thing. Seven Bridges Road, either one. Either one. The thing Brian didn't leave with me, he didn't tell me which song he chose. I have the song. Well, here it is. So it's called. Seven Bridges Road, but does it say who it's from? Hold on. Okay, here it is. Oh, this is Paul and Storm and Jonathan Colton and Sarah Watkins. Yeah, so that's their version. I know that version. We like them. So that's where we're going to play. We'll do that now. Check out all of the stuff I mentioned earlier for this weekend. And of course, we'll be back Monday with a brand new TMS. I think that's going to do it. Thanks everybody for listening. We'll see you then. southern sky Southward as you go There is moonlight and moss in the trees

Down the stairs down the stairs Seven bridges row. Now I have loved you like a baby, like some long, some child, sunshine and I have loved you entertainer and I have loved you while

Sometimes there's a part He has to turn from here and go Running like a child Fow these warm starts Down the seven bridges Roan There are stars in the southern sky. And if ever you decide, you should go.

There is the taste of time, sweet and honey, down the seven bridges road. Sarah Watkins, Paul and Storm. This show is part of the Frog Pants Network. Frogpants Network. Get more shows like this at frogpants.com. I need some sugar.