The Morning Stream - TMS 2392: Meth on the Cob

Episode Date: December 15, 2022

Only murders in the dungeon. Who Goes Out To Get A Salad?Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right. Self Driving in the middle with you. Stupid Giant Fruit-Loop. KFC stands for Kill for Corn. Try Food Poisoning At Least Once. Is Laurie a Male Name? Flannel-Clad Schmoes. Bobby Franken-Subtitute. Peepoo are Human Beans. Empty Cavities with Amy and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Coming up on TMS, only murders in the dungeon. Who goes out to get a salad? Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right. Self-driving in the middle with you. Stupid giant fruit loop. KFC stands for Kill the Corn. Try food poisoning at least one. Is Lari a male name?

Flannel-clad schmose. Bobby Franken Substitute. Peepoo are human beans. Glad you got that one. Empty Cavities with Amy and Moore on this episode of The Morning Stream. Are you trying to say something? I never try anything. I just do it.

Like, I don't beat clocks. Just people. Want to try me? No food or drink allowed on the tour. The morning stream. Would you mind not shooting at the thermonuclear weapons? Good morning all and welcome to TMS. It's the morning stream for Thursday, December 15th, 2020.

I'm Scott Johnson. That's Bobby Frankenberger. Hello. That's right. Brian Nibit out. He's on his way to Vermont this morning. We were supposed to have a show yesterday with he and I, and a truck hit a thing and killed my internet for like three hours in the morning.

Did not hit Brian. No, no. We had snow for 33. 0.8 hours straight. So snow falling from the sky for that long? Yes. And up in the mountains, it was like, you know, six foot giant snow drifts and things.

Down here, that's like, I don't know, eight inches to a foot, something like that. But it is a lot. Do you have post-snow-related flooding issues? Sometimes it depends how quickly it melts,

but because we're in the thicker winter, we're not really in any danger of that. But sometimes we'll get snow in spring like let's say early April it's usually a very freak occurrence but when it happens it will have a tendency to to melt really quick and then you're screwed you have to you got to figure out what you're going to do with all that runoff but then there's sometimes where the winters are so heavy famously here in 1983 is a specific year this happened so much snow in the mountains that during the spring the runoff exceeded all the rivers and the

out all the other outputs that you normally have and we get 99 point well i think we get 100% of our water from our runoff so uh and a couple of reservoirs and some other stuff but it all kind of flows into the same thing so all the lakes all the reservoirs all the rivers everything just overflowed and we ended up having to sandbag our neighborhoods we had to do like um uh the downtown they they they the main street in the middle of downtown bustling city center had to have have a big sandbag river that ran down the whole thing closed to traffic it just ran water down the thing so that happens but that is also kind of rare um but yeah well i mean i'm from charleston we're very familiar with sandbags and flooding and uh but i asked because i used to for a year for

a winter i lived in northern minnesota and the year that we were there was like a record snow year And then we left around February, and we kept hearing the news that that April, because we lived in the Red River Valley area, that April, like, there was just tons of flooding because of all the snow that could, because when it snows in Minnesota, you know, it's, it snows, it never melts until the spring. Yeah, you don't get reprieve from that until the following year. Yeah, so it was just so much snow that winter that it all melted, and there was like huge flooding in, in that spring. That valley. Sounds like the same problem. It's just, you know, a mountain versus a valley. But they, it's been rare in the last few years have been kind of dry winters here.

So it's, and that's why we've had, like, restrictions during the summer on, like, water use and junk like that because the runoff hasn't been great. But this year already, it's looking good. So, you know, once in a while you get a little silver lining in the world of climate change. And I think we're all good this year. But 33 hours of snow is very Christmassy. Oh, it's very Christmassy. it's super christmassy right now in fact it's still well this is a fresh so it stopped for a bit and now it's snowing again and it's just kind of lightly snowing in the valley very pretty

uh sky's weirdly clear so i don't know what clouds these are coming from uh but also it's not sunny so i guess i guess it's not that uncloudy anyway uh it's just kind of lightly coming down you feel like frank sinatra's about to break out into some rendition of let it snow you know and uh we're all in on this man i like this motif i don't like being in it because it's cold but i like i like the the vibe you know it's a cool vibe this is this is my favorite time of year and i wish it snowed like like that here it certainly does not hardly ever snow here in south carolina but but yeah the christmas time gets me in the mood for croonery christmas songs as well it's the only kind i like i don't like any i don't like modern christmas music i don't like uh anything anything anything

past like the 50s. I want all big band swing band Christmas. That's what I want. So no grandma got ran over by a reindeer? No, I'd rather slit both wrists and then drink the blood from my own wrists. I don't want that ever again in my life. I don't want that. I don't want

the Mariah Carey song. I don't want the Wham thing. I don't want any of that. I mean, those have their place and there are times where it's fine. But for the most part, I want to hear a big-ass band. Well, the ones that brass and strings and crazy drums and percussion in the background. And I want to hear

crooner, Bill, whoever that may be up there on a microphone, just you know, making love to that microphone and, you know, giving me what for it? That's what I want. That's exactly me too. I'm all, I'm walking around the house saying, I'm dreaming.

Yeah, yeah. That's me. Listen to you, dude. Wow. So, yeah, I'm a big fan of that and I prefer it. I think that's Christmas. And I don't know why. I think it's because when I was growing up, my grandparents and my parents played a lot of that and we didn't uh they weren't down with like you know christmas and hollis or whatever freaking 80s thing was on the shelf so they weren't going to do that at least navvi dot yeah that ah i do like the one that's in

christmas vacation that's um oh what's it called uh shoot it's it's john t chat room come on now not holiday road i do like that though um That's not really a Christmas song, though, but I like Holiday Road. What's it called? No. Oh, yeah. Maly, Kala, Kila, Kila, Maka, whatever, the Hawaiian one. Is the word to say on a holiday Christmas, that thing?

I like that. But that kind of fits into my thing, right? Crunery, some old casino, smoke in the air. I don't know. Something about it. Anyway, enough of that. Hey, I got to thinking about humans. today because since Bobby is

often a co-host on the show when Brian's out of town and a human but you're also interested in science in the world of scientific thought and things Yes, as it might be yeah this could not I could not get this out of my head yesterday and a part of it came on because of my

ESP getting slammed with a truck and part of it was the fact that Kim and I were out driving for, we went out to get a salad last night a salad because we're boring weird. Who does that? I mean obviously you we did who goes out to get a salad well normally you don't but do you know aubergine you heard of this place it's like uh it's it's you may have mentioned it before because the word sounds familiar but

it's pretty good they make really like good for you big salads and they're also reasonably sort of priced they also have these amazing cheeseball um things that i that aren't good for me that i love anyway that's true you do you have california dreaming uh no but i've been there i went there and uh where did i where did i go to oh i was in california and i went to there and that's it's like that it's very similar yeah they have they have a good salad there you're right i would go out for that salad's yeah that salad's worth going out for it so anyway plus we didn't have any lettuce or stuff here so we were just like you know what let's go so kim and i went and the snow had let up so we were dealing with decent roads and all of that but there were still dumb people and some ice

and that sort of stuff and it got me to thinking with cars and accidents happening all time yeah and like daily i don't know what the number is it's like 30,000 people or something die every day on freeways or something some crazy number it's nuts how many people die on freeways and this here's the part that i'm getting to i am i am all about the future of self-driving cars because oh yeah 99.9% of all accidents are caused by the human behind the wheel not the automobile 3,700 people a day. 37, I got, I had two meters. Globally.

Oh, that's global. That's not terrible. Yeah. I mean, it's terrible for the people who died. Don't get me wrong, but I thought it was closer to in the 30,000 range. 99 fatalities every day from a car accident. That's still, still, it's still a lot more than we'd like. It's 100 people a day.

Right. So what happens is self-driving cars where they are legal or testing will vary once in a while, like once a year, have a fatality related thing either somebody got hit or the guy in the car fell sleep and it ran over something and he jackknifed or whatever like the self-driving car deaths you get like one per 365 days versus 100 average per day right is that just america is that just here that number that's just in the u.s. 99 a day yeah so 100 people in america That's just, that's just deaths also. That's not, it's not accidents or something like that.

Right. So, yeah. So if you don't count serious injuries and people who are, you know, all that, if you just count the deaths, it still seems, even at this early stage of self-driving technology, it still seems like we're ahead of, we're ahead of the curve on less deaths. Now, it's hard to, it's hard to actually say that because we don't have millions of self-driving cars on the road yet, right? We have some small, small percentage. So does that percentage go up? Does it go up enough to equal 100 a day? That's a question I can't answer.

But I can't stand how, because it's self-driving cars, the one death that happened in the last two years gets a ton of negative press. And the 100 people that just died five seconds before you hit submit on your story got no press. Right. Do you understand what I'm saying? Yes, I do. And this is one of the main problems that we have to figure out when it comes to self-driving cars, right? That's just the way people are going to think about technology. I mean, we have the same sorts of bias against AI in a lot of different areas.

And so we don't treat it with the same sort of, we don't treat it equally as if it is a human being, even though it might be making better decisions, right? So a self-driving car has one accident and kills one person and it's going to be scrutinized much more than, like you said, the hundred people a day. So if we know that that's true about people, to me, and this is where people are, you have to, it has to be, like, everything has to be incredibly safe and everything has to be figured out all. eyes dotted and teeth crossed and we just aren't there. We're about, and it's going to be some time longer, I think, because we're about like 95% of the way there, maybe even closer. It's just what we didn't anticipate was that the last 5% was going to be as hard to figure out

in terms of the technology and how it works. That last 5% is going to be as hard to figure out as the previous 95%. Right, right. Because it's all about those edge cases, like what happens in the rain on a busy stop-and-go highway with a bunch of trucks around you and also like, you know, a big 18-wheeler to your right and a military transport vehicle to your left and people slam it on their brakes in front of you, like in the pouring rain, it doesn't behave as well. But neither does a human being, but for some reason we're okay with human beings. beings. Well, it's because we're, since we're all human beings, we think that we are inherently better and trustworthy as compared to a machine.

We just have some default sense of that. I don't know. I don't know that everybody thinks that anymore. I think that there's a lot more acceptance that self-driving cars do make better decisions than humans. I think you get a lot less people nowadays saying that humans are better at driving. I think it's just that people are uncomfortable with those edge cases. you know like if like what happens you've i'm sure heard this before but but the idea that

the algorithm has to make a decision in sometimes like what if you're in a an edge case traffic scenario where the option is either you have to smash into the car in front of you with a family of six geez um or you have to veer off the road to the right and and run over an old lady or you have to veer off to the left and hit, you know, a blind person and their dog. You know, like, someone has to make that decision and that we're not comfortable with the fact that it's an algorithm that's making that decision. That's true. Even though the human has to make as hard a decision, it's just that the robot doesn't actually care.

I mean, it does, and it may make that determination, because we told it to, we may say, hey, if the subject is a child or someone of diminutive stature, that has less precedence over whatever the other object you have to hit. is it's a very calculated cold sort of decision but we would make the same decision probably you know i don't know if i saw an old man walking on one side and a little kid on the other my computer brain would say you got to hit the old man he's had his time he's good and this isn't going to be happy for anybody nobody's going to be glad on the other side of this but you'd rather hit the 90 year old than the 8 year old yeah you know so we have to figure out how we're going to program that in and and at the bottom at the end of the end of the day the bottom line is that

somewhere down the road a human being made the decision about how that decision was going to be made and so anyway. Yeah, or a group. Pretty heavy stuff at the top of the show. Yeah, it's pretty heavy you guys. What do you think of that? I just think humanity's interesting when it comes to this stuff. Now

I do too. Something interesting we got from listener, this is a text message I'm going to read here. They said this, dear soup and breadsticks. That works because your name's Bobby so we still have a bee on there. Yeah, yeah, it works. Just listen to episode 2391 with a story about all of garden employees calling out of work, which led to discussion about call in sick or call off sick or call out sick.

I've always heard it as in call in sick myself. Anyways, my name is Colin, which seems to cause some problems. Some multiple people have called to order takeout. Upon arrival, I say, I have a takeout order. They say, okay, name, he says, I respond, it's for Colin, or something along those lines. and they reply name and I repeat Colin and a few times it's gone into a third loop name Colin anyway

I thought that was funny says Colin I agree that is a pretty that's a pretty wild thing to have happened to your name it's unfortunate what other names can you think of that cause confusion oh gosh why is that playing I don't know we didn't need theme music for that what other like examples

maybe if your name is Pete and you call in to a pizza a place, maybe? Oh, maybe that. Yeah? Yeah. I could see that. Maybe. I can't think about any others, though.

Like, I don't know. Like, let's see. If your name was your name was Lucy and you sold Lusite, I mean, it doesn't work, does it? That's weirdly specific. You know, down to your local Lusite dealer. Yeah, yeah.

And Lucy's got to change your name. But I feel like that would help you, though. That would make you, because you're Lucy, the Lusite sales person. Oh my gosh, that's a hell of that title. Lucy's Lusite. Yeah, no, it's even better now. We've solved it.

All right. Anyway, thanks for that text. We appreciate it. I screwed up the other day. And I played a clip for, no, I read a text to you that was actually for Bill. Oh, yeah. And I was supposed to play some audio that was the correct thing. You didn't have to tell people.

We played it off. It was fine. Yeah, you know what? I could have just said, hey, I have a new call for you. Yeah. But I'm so transparent. I want people to know how dumb I am. here on TMS. Yeah, this is how stupid I am. So I want to play this finally, so we can get to the

bottom of it. I'm going to make things nice and quiet because it's a little hard to understand, but I'm going to play it. It's just a call-in for Bobby. Here you go. Hey, Scott. Colin about the TMS episode with Bobby. The interviewing thing for the drug bust is corpulingo for interrogation or questioning. they're not doing their impression of Diane Walters it's just the covlier friendlier version of interrogation let me go okay a couple things

Diane Walters is he's combined two reporters famous reporters he's thinking of Diane wait what's their name Sawyer Diane Sawyer Sawyer and Barbara Walters he has combined them into one super interviewer

lady. That's fine it's fine it's not a problem but the other bit. Super interviewer lady. I don't remember what the context of this was it was something to do with drug companies and interrogation slash interview something do you remember this? Yeah I don't

know I so you sent me that to listen to thinking that maybe I could figure it out and I couldn't either but I did think it must have been one of the other shows that I was that I was co-hosting on definitely I don't remember talking anything about something like that

on our on the science segment I don't remember it at all see but I even went through old notes from the times I was on and dug through to look at like maybe the news stories might have it had the only thing I can think is maybe it was some tangent we went on

but I have no clue I have not know it feels conspiratorial to me mostly because he talked about Diane Walters. And so if that threw me because what that said to me was, well, if he doesn't know those are two separate people, maybe his, you know, corpo interrogation, fluffy thing is just like some conspiracy thing. So what I'm saying is, since we don't know, we've now sussed it out on the air.

So dude, what called in? Follow up with another one of these and explain what, explain yourself because I'm, we're just confused. Yeah, I would like to know about it. It feels like there's a nugget of a very interesting conversation to be had. Yeah, I agree. There's something there. Let's uncover that nugget.

Yeah, and tell me more about these hybrid news ladies. I want to know more about them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, how did we get here? How did we get from zero to that technology? That's what I want to know. Some sort of Corpo research program. Yep.

That's how they get you. That's how they get you every time. Okay, I found the perfect gift, everybody. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the perfect gift for this Christmas. This is the world's largest single giant fruit loop. Oh my gosh. Yeah, and you can buy this, this big old fruit loop that seriously fits in a, I mean, it barely fits in a bowl. As you can tell from this photo that I'm sharing to the chat.

It is available now for $19. single serving of Kellogg's Fruit Loops Cox in at one third cups weighs 39 grams and contains 150 calories So not this fruit loop They're talking about a single serving of the regular

Oh right, right, right, yeah, yeah Because the single fruit loop is a lot more It's here I'll find it. It's 930 calories And weighs half a pound Yeah It's the equivalent of half a box of regular fruit loops mashed into one bowl

filling monstrosity There's no reason for it to exist which seems to be the exact reason for someone to create it. Anyway, this is now a thing. If you want this and it's edible, you can buy it. Now, if I bought this, I mean, I'm kind of tempted, if I'm honest. Not to eat it. I don't want to eat it.

I really might get this. Yeah. I mean, it's $19. It's not horrible. Well, my kids would freak out. Like, they would love this. Yeah. Yeah, no, I agree.

But what I want those, I want to preserve it. Oh, not me. Or preserve, not preserve, but preserve it. And I want to keep it somewhere. Like this twinkie I have, I don't have it handy, but I have a twinkie that's over 15 years old. And maybe more now. And it solidified, hardened, and became petrified in its original form on its own. I didn't have to do anything to it.

No slack, no spray, nothing. It's just like this solid rock, this ancient relic of man. And I love that thing. Same thing happened with an orange I have. I have an orange that shrunk but hardened and is now basically a rock but never decayed. If I can have some assurance that if I bought this, this would do the same, that it would just stay preserved forever. I might do it. And I'd hang it on a wall and just say, yeah, that's that time I bought the $19 stupid giant fruit loop.

No, I want to get it. I want to take a video of pouring the single fruit loop into a bowl of milk and then hand it. landing it in my like like not tell them yeah just do it yeah i like and then and then walk straight face walk away like here's your breakfast yeah it's i like a shower this this is uh available on the big fruit loop website uh starting monday december 19th so this is a next monday you see that picture of two can sam on the box no hold like he's choking having to pull this up oh yeah he does you know what he actually looks like he looks like he's doing a youtube selfie for the for a thumbnail for a YouTube video.

Go to the, if you go to the website, bigfruitloop.com, it's even worse. Oh my gosh. Yeah, there's a CG. That one's horrifying. Either way, he's choking. And are they trying to say this is part of a bigger breakfast?

Look at all this stuff around. Look at all this fruit. Some kind of, it might be AI generated that bird. Something's wrong with it. Like the feet. I know. You don't think that Kellogg would want that image on this product.

No, something's effed up. I don't know. Well, and it says, it doesn't even see Kellogg's. It says mischief? Oh, is it not? Is that the parent company? Because I think this is still Kellogg's, though.

Let's see. Maybe they've changed enough about it that it's not an actual. Because I see on the box it's spelled fruit loop, but it's F.R. U-I-T, but Fruit Loop is by Kellogg, is definitely F-R-O-O-O-O-C. I don't know if I trust this then. Because this is from some company, I don't know. You know what I mean? Like, do I want that? I don't want to eat it for sure, but all right.

Look at us. We're internet sleuths. Yeah, look at us. We've solved yet another case. Moving on to the next one. All right. Well done. Case closed. It's time for some news. Yeah, that's right. The news brought to you by Dungeon Murder Doctor. come go there the game's getting really close i showed to the pre-show some stuff i'm working on to make the game a little more accessible to the colorblind and add some more accessibility kind of quality of life feature i already played that features uh anyway it's coming along great i can tell

you the only this this is my uh evidence that it's awesome i played seven rounds with my wife and she said can we play more she still wanted to keep playing and she never does that so I realize it's my game, so maybe she's a little biased, but still, it's good news. But is she the type of person who's just like, she will do nice things for you because she's a nice person and she'll help you. But then when she's done, she's like, all right, I'm done. I've got to go do some other things. Yeah, kind of, yeah.

It's like moving on to the next thing, sort of thing. Yeah, so you kept her in, but dungeon murder, I don't know if anybody's said this to you or out loud on a show somewhere. That's a great name. Yeah, you know why I like this name? I like it because no one else has used it, number one. That's the main thing used to use it. That's always the criteria number one for how to name your stuff.

I also think it's just fun and cheesy. And also, I like it because it's based on an old comic I did. Way back in 2008, I think. Oh, I didn't know that. Let me see if I can find it and I'll share it. Hold on one second, everybody. Let's see, dungeon murder. I know this is way down the list now because, okay, here it is.

oh yeah so i found it uh let me share this out as a two-panel comic i'm sorry not that old 2013 i thought i thought i was older anyway 2013 still a fair amount of time ago we're pushing on 10 years and uh the comic shows a guy uh oh i'll put it in discord as well um for those at home we can't see this uh it's a dude sitting at the table and he's got a big old board game all spread out and he's about to learn the rules and he says i'm going to learn these rules and become a serious Tabletop Gamer and the very next frame is him It says 11 minutes later And he's playing his Sony

I guess that was a That wouldn't have been a Vita that would have been a It might have been a Vita anyway He's now you know bored and moving on But the board game that he's playing If you zoom in and look at this text on this thing Dungeon Murder Right there on the side

Oh nice nice That's for the original idea was just to come up with a dumb name Kind of like I think space murder is another one I did that was for another comic. But anyway, it just sounded funny and dumb and like a bad name that you would want. You know, that kind of just sums up,

oh, it's in dungeons and there's murder involved. And anyway, it kind of stuck. Plus, the domain was available. That's criteria number two. Yeah, that's the other reason. So it worked out. It worked out. There's very little murder in the game, if I'm honest.

It's just a lot of trying to dominate the dungeons that are in this land that the card takes place in. so you know murders implied but it's not well i'm excited just from what i've heard you say about it it sounds very much i know you said you get in you take inspiration from uh from that um monopoly oh yeah monopoly deal uh also there's others feels it seems to me based on what you've said that it's a combination of monopoly deal and a lot of it's got a lot of a munchkin card game um a little bit yeah certainly from uh from an arts perspective i'm doing a ton of like little, you know, every, every card's

going to, you don't see him yet because I'm not done, but there's a bunch of little, going to be a bunch of art per card. Like, I'm kind of going nuts on it. The other games I would compare them to, if anyone at home has ever played. Let's see if I can find the name of it. I always forget the name. It's a game called Bonanza. There's a little bit of that in there.

Because it's kind of a trading, there's a subgenre known as trading card games even though that kind of sounds broad. Seven Wonders Dual is another one. That only lets two people play, but it's It's got some stuff in there. The game, bang, has some similarities.

So I'm kind of picking and choosing from a bunch of stuff I like and adding my own twist to it all. And I think people are going to really like it. So cannot wait. All right. So anyway, dungeon murder.com if you want to keep track of what's going on with it. I'm getting closer to a Kickstarter and we'll be letting you know about that soon. Kentucky fried chicken in the news, KFC, as they're known now.

They don't want people to focus on the fried chicken, you know, even though that's still or Kentucky or Kentucky they don't want any Kentucky they just want an acronym

that could mean anything could mean kites fly crappy churros um kites fly churros yeah

or kill for churros kill for churros yeah which that feels like a more negative connotation but still uh KFC customer shot a worker

in the drive-thru that person's okay by the way uh after they ran out of corn according to Missouri cops down there in Missouri. KFC worker was shot in the stomach after telling a customer the restaurant was all out of that there corn. The corn's not even good there. I don't know why this is a problem, but whatever. The shooting happened around 6.30 p.m. on Monday on December 12th, which was just this last Monday to KFC in St. Louis. When investigation revealed

the man was in the drive-through of the restaurant when he was informed that they were all out of that corn. According to the police report, he began making threats to store the employees from the speaker box and then pulled up to the drive-thru window with a gun. 25-year-old employee went outside to confront the customer and minutes later came back inside and said he was shot. Police said he was shot once in the abdomen and was listed as critical but stable condition. I checked since and he's recovering. The customer fled the restaurant after the shooting has not been caught as of Tuesday afternoon, so he's still out there. Looking for corn. You're out of corn. You're out of corn.

Um, here's my gun. I, I don't understand the leap. Like, you must really be two things are, two things are real, are possible here. You're either so into corn that no reaction is off the table, right? Like, it just, you, you must have, if you don't have corn, that's it for me. This is what this person is. Or they're already having a really rough time in multiple ways. And, this was a last straw kind of deal right it can't be any what else could it be what else brings this extreme out of somebody

for missing corn wasn't there wasn't there a story you guys did a long time ago about people dealing drugs through fast food orders oh yeah yeah there was a whole thing with that could be maybe corn was really meth

oh geez so corn really even though the police think it's corn corn was a keyword or a A pseudonym. Yeah, maybe it was like, you know, you order from the secret menu at KFC. You want like, like, Mexican spicy corn. And that means we're all out of Mexican spicy corn. Yeah.

What are you talking about, fool? And then he pulls a gun out. Yeah. Yeah, that could be it. I'd like some candied corn. Oh, yeah. And then they're like, wait a minute. I didn't know corn came in a tiny bag with white powder in it.

Weird. Weird. Well, anyway, I hope they catch that guy because you shouldn't shoot people over corn, you know? The takeaway message. Yeah, that's the takeaway. Don't shoot people over corn. Yeah, even if it's the band. They're not worth it either.

No. Corn with a K. Smuckers, we're in food today. It's food day. Just the way it is. We got a smuckers story. Smuckers goes after. Small business making crustless sandwiches for trademark infringement.

If this is true, they should go after my mom because she did this a lot. So it seems like a weird thing. But anyway, J.M. Smuckerco, it's fun to say, had issued a warning against a small business in Minnesota that sold or it was selling peanut butter and jelly sandwiches without a crust, according to a new report. The food giant alleges the crustless sandwiches called gallant tiger infringes. sorry, that's not part of the title. Gallant Tiger infringes. That would have been given away the game

if they named their company Gallant Tiger infringes. Yeah, that's all we do. Put a little ink at the end and you're all set. Anyway, on the trademark predictions and the Uncrustable brand, Uncrustables brand, which is what they make. Smucker insists that they don't have any issue

with other people selling peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but the Fortune 500 companies claiming it holds a trademark on round crustless design and the packaging photo choice that shows a bite taken out of the sandwich. Dude, I feel like this stuff gets weird. It gets weird, doesn't it a little bit? It does.

Lettigious and weird. Because on the one hand, what? Anybody can do that. But on the other hand, I do know you see the box of uncrustables at a glance and that image that they're talking about of the round crustless sandwich

with a bite taken out of it. It is iconic. Is it, though? I didn't even know this is a thing I could buy. This sounds like a terrible purchase to me. My kids eat them all the time. They're just really easy to keep in the freezer and you just take them out the night before,

throw them in a lunchbox in the fridge, and then they're ready to go the next day. It's just easy. But it is definitely a trademark sort of thing. But you're showing the image of the other one, and it does look just like an ugly. I mean, it does just a different angle, I guess, you know? Yeah, but, you know, they sell those things that put, like, that make those round sandwich things, like the presses for them.

Yeah. They sell them all over the place. Like, you can get one on Amazon. It's like, it's not like, it's not like they, they patented the technology of pressing those things. It's, but I guess that's not with the argument they're making, though. This is a trademark infringement. Yeah, it's a, how are you marketing your thing? Trademark does get weird, because it's all about someone saying,

you're taking potential money away from us by looking like what we are. Yeah. Which I don't think, I don't feel like, I've never heard of gallant tiger before. I haven't either. By the way, it's a chai spiced peanut butter and, and peanut butter. What? Oh, it's not even jelly. Chai spiced peanut.

Sorry, I had this wrong. Chai spiced pear butter and peanut butter together. Well, the uncrustables make a lot of different things. Okay, so it's not all PB&J like standard, like grape jelly. Yeah, it's mostly that, but they have different things with the peanut butter and everything. But, but yeah, I just don't feel like, I don't think this would be too hard to argue. That's me saying that as someone who's never studied. law, but because this can't be, like, wouldn't they have to prove that this is somehow

taking money out of, out of smuckers' bottom line? I think so, yeah, I think so. I mean, trade dress is a whole thing. We have some, like, copyright lawyers who listen to the show, I hear from them sometimes. They should pipe in and tell us. Yeah. How does this work? And who will sit atop the jelly empire?

My guess is, you know, Smokers has the lawyers and the money. I know copyright and trademark are different, but I think they're all in the same, like, their same realm of law, right? Yeah, yeah. I don't think I dare eat this chai-spiced pear butter thing. I don't think that sounds good. I'll eat anything once. Will you try anything once? Most things.

All right, what if I... I'm pretty adventurous. What if I gave you? All right, let's explore this a little bit. Yeah. What if I gave you? No, you'd eat that. Let me think here.

I don't have a crazy enough thing to, like Tom's like this too. Tom Merritt will eat anything at least once, sometimes more than once. But he's the one that ate an entire chocolate cake donut from Dunford Bakery, these amazing donuts. Onstage at Nerdtacular, horked down an entire donut and then washed it down with cold Clamato juice. I'm sorry, room temperature Clamato juice. That's an important distinction. Yeah, I would try that.

I mean, you know. You try that once. Yeah, at least once. You, come on. I got to put my money where my mouth is. I tell my kids all the time, how can you know you don't like it if you've never tried it? Yeah.

So. All right, let me ask you this then. Raw hamburger. Okay. Well, there's a food safety issue. Well, let's say, all right. um there is a food safety issue but whatever okay this is a hypothetical right this is a hypothetical so if if you could somehow guarantee to me the the the raw hamburger meat was was safe then continue

okay we'll say that this is as safe as the meat ever is ever we did it ourselves we did it in a lab the cow lived in a hammock its whole life like whatever okay so we've done that we put it between two cinnamon toast pop tarts I've seen this image that you're describing now would you eat that oh man you know because I do so

so you really are putting it to the test because I do like very rare meat it is um it does have a certain so when you do a steak you like it nice and rare I do too I'm a fan I like a very rare like I'm happy with you just

tossing it on the grill letting a tiny bit of sear like as soon as it's like it's just 30 seconds flip it over get a little bit of sear on both sides and then take it off i'll eat it i might need a little more than that but i'm i'm with you mostly i like a bloody steak i don't i don't like it that way all the time like it's but but i like like i can appreciate that flavor and i really like certain things about it right um so i would say uh sure i would try that okay you'd do it I don't anticipate I would like more than a single bite. But, you know, there's all sorts of things you can learn from trying weird stuff.

Oh, I agree. I agree. Like, I might find that there's this, this blackberry jam inside the Pop-Tart. What kind of Pop-Tart did you say? I said cinnamon toast, but it could be whatever you want. Maybe I find that cinnamon flavor with bare, like, raw meat just something. And I'm like, ah, I got to try a cinnamon crust on a rare steak one. You know, like you unlock secret things in your brain when you try new things that you'd never.

All right. How about this? Pepperoni pizza, fresh hot out of the oven, with equidistently placed blobs of Nutella on it. Yeah. Why? Why not? That sounds good. Sounds horrendous.

That sounds so bad to me. All right. How about definitely expired rancid yogurt soda? Would you do that? Well, if it's definitely expired. Well, that's what I did. I did that in a nerdtacular, and I about killed Hammond for it because he was the one that brought it. It was horrible. It was so bad. I mean, I might taste it. I don't know. This all goes without, like, you have to promise me that it's safe. So if it's never been opened, then I might taste. You might taste it just to see, yeah. Yeah.

All right. How about that ludifist crap that they do in Sweden or whatever, the can of like... I kind of want to try that because it's so... Film it. You know, everybody... Film it. Maybe I will. I want you to.

I'm not saying... Right after I film plopping a giant fruit loop into the bowl of my children's cereal. 20 bucks. Worth every penny. All right. That'll do it for today's news. We're not doing a song break in the... the middle of the show. We're going to roll straight through

today. And we're going to add our old pal Amy to the show, who's been home recovering from surgery, and I think doing pretty good. Good enough to be on the show. So we're going to do that right now. Let me pull her in. Red Fraggle. I will get an update

from her on her current state of convalescence. My guess is it's going pretty well. Anyway, enjoy this. It's time for read this. your old pal, Amy, aka Red Fraggle. Hello, and welcome back to the show. Hello. It's good to be back on the show.

How are you feeling? Better, I hope. Yeah, I'm feeling pretty good. People, you know, have been really kind. Every day that I'm in the chat, people are like, how are you doing well? You know, so, yeah, recovery seems to be going pretty well. The one thing that kind of remains is that if I try and do too much, I pay for it later. I get really flushed and, you know, my body, my whole body is like, um, hello, gaping

hole in your abdomen, you know, kind of thing, like empty cavity. Yeah, it's a big, it's a big change. Like your body is, um, yeah, that's hard though, right? Like, anytime I ever have anything done of any kind, or if I'm just recovering from being sick, including COVID, it was like, how soon can I get back to freaking normal, full speed here. And sometimes you have to like stop for a second, listen to your body because your body's going, no, no, no, don't be lifting, you know, no power lift any weights. I'm going to pop in here if you do. Yep. So. And it's hard, right? Because it's like, you see stuff that

needs doing and you feel like, okay, I don't feel so tired, in pain, exhausted, what have you, that I feel like, nope, I have to be horizontal right the second. And so you feel guilty. At least least I do. I look at things around me and go, oh, that needs doing. Let me go do it. I'm the same way. And Chuck's like, nope, back to bed with you. I'm the same way. I have a really hard time when I'm around the house seeing chores that need to be done and things that I normally do. You know, and asking someone else to do it even if I'm recovering from being sick or anything like that. I hate that. I did the same thing with this, with COVID.

And every time I thought I was feeling better, I would be so winded. And so tired. It was like, no, that was a bad idea. I'm going to go now sleep for four hours and see if I can't recognize this. Let me ask you, Amy. Uh-huh. Did you weigh yourself before the surgery and now you're going to weigh yourself afterwards to see? So that would have been a really good idea.

So I had myself weighed a bunch of times, you know, because I was obviously in and out of doctor's appointments and whatnot. But no, I didn't do that. And that would have been really funny. I'm sure that if I go and look at the, you know, I've got doctor stuff is much cooler now than it used to be, right? Because you have like patient portals and things like that. Oh, yeah, yeah. Actually see, you know, your reports and stuff from, you know, from tests and ed surgeries and things like that.

So I'm betting that they probably weighed my uterus after they took it out. And I do, I do have what access to one thing. I haven't looked at it yet. But so let me tell you, I'll tell you a little story. I told, I told Scott about some of this over text last night. But poor Chuck, they told him, the surgery is going to last about two and a half hours, maybe three, you know. And they, and he's sitting in this waiting room. And you know how when you go to the airport and they've got the big monitor that's got all the, like,

Like, you know, this flight is on time or this flight's in the air. This flight is taxi into the runway or whatever. Oh, I think I know what you're talking about. Yeah, they have those at hospitals now. Yeah. So you can literally see, if you're sitting in the surgery waiting room, you can see the status of your loved ones. Mm-hmm. I stared at that when my wife got her gallbladder out.

Yeah. I was staring at it, keeping up with things. You're like, okay, it still says in surgery. You know, and so he's just sitting there and no one's really letting him know anything. Turns out there was a lot of scarring that also had to kind of remove. It was more involved than they expected it to be. So the surgery took over four hours. And meanwhile, no one's telling my husband anything.

He's just sitting there looking at my name or my number even. I think it was my patient number. And just sitting there looking at the in-surgery. Lido, and no one's telling him anything. I do this exact same thing with Kim with the exact same surgery. They always take longer and they're going to take. Have they ever been quick? Have they ever gone, ah, you know, we got in there, expected two hours, 15 minutes in

and out. Easiest uterus I ever saw. Turns out it was already gone. Yeah. Weird. Like, I don't feel like that ever happens. That's just not part of the deal. But anyway.

Right. But yeah. So when the doctor finally did, you know, They were finishing me up and stitching me up and whatever they were doing. And the doctor came out to speak to Chuck. She came out with this manila envelope filled with pictures of my insides. Oh, lovely. Both with and without my uterus.

Oh. Did they go to the CVS and get them printed out or something? I don't know. I have no idea. And so that part of it I didn't even learn about until we got home. I knew that the surgeon had come out and show. showed him pictures, but I figured she was just, like, showing him on a device or on her phone or something, or maybe she airdropped into his phone. I don't even know. And, but, yeah, like, he came home.

Hey, you got to check this out. Well, you laugh, but that's literally what happened to me when Chuck had a shop accident with a table saw and sawed his finger, like in half lengthwise. Oh, like a hot dog? Like, when you take a hot dog and cut it? fingers now. Oh, geez. Yeah, it was bad. He had, we were, thankfully, he had an amazing hand surgeon.

He did a really good job of just while in shock, wrapping it up himself so that when the paramedics came, they were like, dude, you put like the exact amount of pressure on this to where you didn't crush anything, but also you kept it, kept pressure on, like, good job. And he's like, thanks. Thank you. You know, but anyway, yeah, they made. to stitch his his finger back together and reconstruct it to where he only lost a little bit of

finger length when we're in Vegas you ask him to show you his finger he'll show you it's kind of cool he calls it franken finger how funny is that I feel like I saw it and didn't say anything like I didn't want to like you know presume but I think I saw it and I went oh that finger looks like it's been through something you know I've got 10 frankin fingers but exactly see that's really funny but i showed up to the er i wasn't even there like our our neighbors had to call nine one for him because i was out trying to be a do-gooder and uh you know delivering food to poor people for i think like uh either passover yeah it was Passover and um you know so i was out trying to do do-gooder things and i get this phone call from my husband's phone number but

it's my neighbor and she's clearly freaking out and so I had no idea what was going on. I rushed to drop all these kids off because I was taking kids to go and do this. So I drop all these kids off and then I rush to the hospital. I get there. He's fine. They've got him all hide up on whatever, you know, oxy cotton or whatever. He's, he's, you know, had medical attention at this point. But then the surgeon comes in with no kidding.

phone and sticks his phone in my face. And I, oh, I was like, oh, nope, don't need to see that. Why do they want to, why force people to, they should ask, they should say, hey, how do you like a mangled up finger photos, you know? I know, I know, right? How you like those? In Chuck's case, like, they gave him a manila envelope and so he had the option to look at them or not.

But like, no, man, this surgeon was just like, check this out. That's crazy. That's crazy to me. Yeah, I don't, I wouldn't want to see it either. But I'm glad you're feeling better. That's the main thing. Yes, I am feeling much better. Like I say, I just have to just have to monitor my activity.

I'll go take a nap after the show's over. But, you know, it's all good for right now. I'm taking care of myself. I'm completely off of the pain meds, which I did not expect to be at this early stage. It's good. Screw those things. They're weird. I don't like them.

I hate them. Well, honestly, it was stressing me out because, you know, one of the side effects of those pain meds is not only, you know, the addiction risk and all that, but also they make you constipated. And that's, yeah, like when you've had abdominal surgery, the worst thing in the world. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Oh, that sounds terrible. Yeah. Oh, because you got to use all.

I mean, that's, you know, it's all very, a very private affair, obviously, but geez. Oh, I'm all about the TMI. So I'll give you guys a much. Everybody poop, Scott. Everybody does. That book told me that. Well, all right. Let's get to... Do you know those things called the Squatty Potty? Yeah. The little stool you could get.

So I was so... It was one day. By the way, that company in... They're in St. George. It's a Utah connection, those stupid things. Oh, funny. Yeah, yeah. Anyway. But yeah, it was one day that I...

I was like particularly just kind of giggly. And I blame the pain men's. But I just thought... I thought it was so funny because, you know, it's Christmas time. Are you talking about, like, the, you know, older Christmas songs versus modern Christmas songs. Do you remember there's this really old song

called I want a hippopotamus? Yeah, I do. I hate it. So I went around singing I was like, I want a squatty potomist for Christmas. Oh, my Lord. You sure you weren't on the oxy then? Yeah, I know I definitely would. Wow. That was fantastic. Well, those things are great, by the way.

We have those, so I highly recommend them. All right, let's move on to Let's do the reading bit. What are we doing today? What do you got for us? Reading. So, okay, I did finish a book while I was recovering. But I figured, you know what, it's Christmas time. And we're, you know, I'm just recovering and everything better for me to just, we'll do a little game. I prepared a little game for you guys. So I'm going to give you guys each. And I'll try and keep score, but chat, you guys keep me honest. Okay. So it's a little, little quotes game. So I'm going to give you guys quotes from books. All right. Many of these are books that I'm sure. I know you've heard of all these books, but, you know, some of them you may or may not have read, but there's some of them. The Bible.

There's some of them I know that you guys have read. So I picked pretty prolific quotes, I think. So it should be pretty easy. All right. But this is going to be fun. So, and I'll go ahead and just give you the quote. And then if you guys need the multiple children. I'll give you the multiple choice and, you know, and go from there.

All right. Okay. All right. So the first one is a beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that the balances are correct. Whoa. I'm going to definitely need multiple choice for this one. Bobby and Bobby, do you have any idea? A history of the universe by Stephen Hawking.

Oh. Oh, you mean like the history of time? Yeah, history of whatever. Is that what it's called? Yeah. Okay. The multiple choice is, is it A, needful things, B, Dune, or C, Neuromancer.

Can I get the title again, or the, sorry, the quote? A beginning is the time for taking the most delicate care that the balances are correct. I read Neuromancer many years. years ago and I don't recognize the quote so I don't I'm going to say it's not that one but it very well could have been because it was like high school and it was a long time ago yeah the first the the I've read

Dune I haven't read Neuromancer but I've read Dune and I've read Neatful Things actually multiple times I think this is a needful things quote Okay Scott says needful things What's your it's there Bobby? I'm going to Scott because I've not read Dune or Needful Things

Okay You're Damn it Correct. It was Dune. It was Dune, really? Yes. Well, who says it? It's got a new strategy.

We got a spread out. I'll pick one. Oh, God. I don't know who said it. I just took him off a quotes website. It was Baron Harkonan as he slowly melted into the goo. All right. Fair enough.

There's a good warm up. All right. Here we go. Next one. Next one. Stay gold, pony boy. Oh, the outsiders. Correct.

Damn, dude. Ding. Holy crap. You just pulled that right out of the sky. Nicely done. Sorry, I should have given you a chance to answer there, Scott. No, no, no. Sorry about that.

So Bobby's got one. I have zero. That's the score, right? Yes, correct. All right. All right. The next one. There is nothing like looking if you want to find something.

You will certainly usually find something if you look, but it is not always quite the thing you were after. Is that from A, The Hobbit? B, Robinson Crusoe, or C, the Paris wife? Well, I read The Hobbit in high school, and none of the rest of that. Uh, I'm a total guess here, I'll say Robinson Crusoe. I have no idea. Um, it's, it feels very much like a Hobbit that, Like, I can, I can hear that in the text of the Hobbit.

So I'm going to say The Hobbit. Like, it feels very much like Tolkien wrote a children's book. Kind of, yeah. That book was, yeah. Okay. So, Bobby is correct. Damn it. Again, it is the Hobbit.

Oh, frick. Okay, so Bobby, I put you at two to zero. Shoot. I got, how many more questions do you have? I'll see if I can come back. Can I come back? Oh, yeah. I've got plenty for you to come back from.

I figured, okay, we don't have Wendy today. So if I go a little long, it's, We'll go as long until I beat Bobby. Then it's done. There you go. All right. How long do you have? Might be here a while.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. Give us number four, whatever it is. Three, four. Okay. Yep. I think this is four.

So one man's life or death were a small price to pay for the acquirement of the knowledge that I sought. Is that from A, Frankenstein or the modern Permian? atheist, be Faust, or C, war and peace. That's, uh, I lean Frankenstein. Is Mary Shelley's Frankenstein or something else? Yes, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. Um, yeah, I'm going to say, I'm going to say that. It might be too obvious.

I was also thinking Frankenstein, um, what were the other two choices? The other two choices were Faust or War and Peace. Yeah, I don't think it was Faust, but I've never read War and Peace. So I'm going to go with Frankenstein. And you are both correct. Oh, we did it. Oh my gosh.

All right, so that's three to one now. I put Scott on the board. All right. There you go. All right, good instincts there. I'll give you guys, I'll throw you guys a softball. You ready? Yeah.

Okay. We've got to have rules and to obey them. After all, we're not savages. Is that from A, the Hunger Games? B, War and Peace, or C, Lord of the Flies. Oh, this is tricky. Yeah. Yeah, because it feels like it could be a trick.

Yeah. Because it feels like it could fit in both Lord of the Flies and the Hunger Games, but then you could also be saying like, ha-ha, it was actually from War and Peace. trick you, but you said it's a softball, so I bet you it's not war in peace. Yeah, that gives me that feeling, too. I'm definitely going Lord of the Flies for me. Yeah, I wanted to say Lord of the Flies as well, because of the use of the word savages. Yeah.

Okay. Because this is before they paint their faces and decide who kills Piggy, right? So here's the problem, Scott. If Bobby just continues to pick your same answer, then he wins. Maybe I should pick first from your answer. Oh, because you're the... We can swap. Who picks first?

Yeah, totally. But, yes, you're both correct. It was Lord of the Flies. Okay, that was Lord of the Flies. All right. That's always my old go-to. And I read that book forever ago, but all I remember is painting their faces and killing Piggy.

Or trying to... In the Kant shell that you had to hold to talk. Oh, right. And they use... That trope could use, that trope could use in so many things now. I can't believe they had us read that book. I think I was in like 6th or 7th grade. when we read that book.

I was about how old I was. I loved that book. It was gruesome. It was pretty hardcore. I liked it. It's also like the quintessential example of the deus ex machina trope, isn't it? Oh, yeah. Well, but it was also, that ending was poignant, right?

Because they were saved by a warship. So it delivered that message. But yes, it definitely is a very deus ex-x moment. But my feeling when I read it was younger, they were trying to tell us that things can get weird real quick in situations where leadership voids happen and people have to figure out who's in charge and who's making the rules and how much say does everyone have like that kind of stuff. I felt like that's what they were trying to push into kids' heads to get us thinking about that so that if we were faced with it, I think it actually worked

on me. Like I'm not saying it was a trick, but I think that later in life I was more sensitive to I could tell when something was not a good arrangement. Right. And I always thought

You're more sensitive to the piggies of the world. I definitely am, yeah. Yeah. No doubt. All right. So, this next one,

promise me you'll remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. Is that from Charlotte's

Webb, Little Women, or Winnie the Pooh. Oh, so I'll go first. I'm going to say, so read the quote one more time. Promise me you'll remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. I'm going to say little women because it seems like something, I can't remember any of the names of of the girls there's like I mean I remember their names I don't remember I think Amy's the youngest but it sounds like something yes Amy is the youngest the youngest and brattiest yes indeed feels like something um like Joe or or Meg like a piece of advice that they would have

given Amy at some point before they all went their own ways man your knowledge of little women is she died or something your knowledge of little women is making me seem like a complete amateur. I don't remember any of their names. I don't remember these people. I remember they were little. They were women. That's it. That's it. I was in the play. I was in little women when I was in high school. You were Amy. Were you Laurie? I was not Amy. No, I was Lori, of course, because that's the only male character. Yeah. I was like, either you were Laurie or you were like a carriage driver or something because there aren't any other men or maybe the father because the father comes in at some point. I know Florence Pugh is in the more recent one. I know that.

And she plays Amy, which is awesome. Yeah, I love her. All right, what's your answer, Scott? My answer is Charlotte's Web. That's my answer. Okay, you are both incorrect. Damn, which is Winnie the Pooh. Winnie the Pooh, really?

Yes. Promise me. I thought that was an easy one because you see it on Winnie the Pooh merch all the time. Like, I see that quote all the time on anything with Winnie the Pooh. guess I've been paying attention. I mean, there is a lot of, I mean, what's that book? The something of poo, the... The Dow of Pooh, we did it on this show.

We talked about it here, yeah. Like, it's stuff clearly considered, like, some of the, you know, great philosophy is found in this otherwise children's book type thing. But I just, for some reason, I could hear the spider talking to Wilbur. Well, the spider, like, it feels like parting words, right? And the spider dies, too, so... Right. Yeah.

Oh, man, that thing wrecked me. He's like, you want to talk about where rectia is a kid? That freaking story tore me a new butthole. Oh, my gosh. No, no, no. Where the red fern grows has cried for days. Red fern was rough. Red fern was rough.

What was the one with the dog? Old yellow, that thing was just made to make us want to die? Oh, my gosh. What were they doing to us as kids? Bridge to Terribithia says Diced Tomato. And yes, I, yes, you are correct. That one. Never read or saw that.

I know it's a movie too, right? got adapted. I never saw it. I read it and I never saw the movie because I was like, nope, don't need it. I don't need that. Nope. You don't need a little extra sadness in your day. Which is funny because I'll read like lots of John Green stuff and all, you know, where he kills literal teenagers in the book and I'm like, oh, okay. But I don't know. I can't, I can't do the stuff that actually traumatized me as a kid. If you say literal teenagers, it makes me think they're just saying literal things. Like not that they're literally a teenager. but they go they say things like it is hot outside like those those teenagers are really literal yeah they're literally literal they're literally literal they don't exaggerate they don't undersell it's just they say it exactly the way it is yeah they say i didn't do my homework instead of my dog ate it or i lost it you know just i didn't do it that's a literal teenager well the funny thing is in a fault in our stars they actually the characters talk about the overuse of the word literally oh really yeah still haven't seen another tearjerker that one jeez

Please, look at all these tear-jurker things. For sure. All right. So, let's see. I'm looking through my list of quotes here because I'm kind of going out of order a little bit. So let's go with something a little more fun. So, Scott, do you want to bleep me or do you want me to bleep myself? Oh, bleep yourself.

No, you know what? I can do it in post. Do it. They'll have a live square. This is good. All right. Oh, yeah. So this one is.

It's raw. Yeah. I'm pretty much f***. That is the quote. Is it from, yes, a guide to the happy acceptance of everything, broken in the best possible way by Jenny Lawson,

or C, the Martian. I'm all out of potatoes to put my poop on. I'm effed. All right. I'm going to say, do I get to choose because of the last, how does it work?

Yeah, sure. Go ahead and choose. I'm going to say The Martian. I kind of remember this. Okay. I read that book twice, and I have vague memory of him saying something to that effect. So I'm going to say The Martian. What you got, Bobby? I didn't read it, but I think that's a line in the movie, too.

Like, I can see. Oh, you should read that book, dude. You'd love it. Yeah. You don't read much anymore unless it's science news. I need to read more. It's so good because it's such a, well, there's a bunch of connections that you're like, First of all, it's like science, but it's what if science, but it's very heavy science based.

Yeah, I listened to an interview with the author, and there was a, he did a lot of research and talking to, like, people from NASA and, like, really got a lot of feedback on the science. So I know I would really enjoy it. Plus, he used to be one of the lead engineers on Warcraft 1, 2, and 3. which a lot of people don't know he's an ex-Blizzard dude yeah and he went on to follow his dream of being an author and killed it obviously but yeah he's a really interesting story that guy anyway so I'm saying the Martian as well because I can see Matt Damon saying that yeah oh you are both correct it is the Martian it is the literal I said literally it is the first line in the book I open the book and it says I'm pretty much effed like

that's the first line is the score four to two do I have it right is it four to two right now does anyone know okay boy I'm getting I'm getting worked you've lapped me Bobby I hate this all right next one no you're catching up a little bit because it was three to one and now you know so yeah you're closing the gap a little bit sure I don't know I guess you're keeping the gap the same size I'm running parallel with him and not really gaining anything but we'll see see how I go okay so let's go With this one, it was the best of times. It was the worst of times.

Oh. Tale of two cities. Yeah. Done. I would agree with that. That is correct. Both correct. I knew I was like, okay, I'm going to throw them like a really easy one in there just in case I'm like.

Yeah. The problem is it's easy for both of us, right? Yeah. I know. I know. So, but all right. Famous one. Three or five.

Okay. It is a truth universally acknowledged that a gentleman is. in possession of a fortune must be in want of a wife. Is that from A, persuasion, B, pride and prejudice, or C, pride and prejudice and zombies. Oh, my gosh, that's a tricky one there. Because look, this goes either, this goes one of two ways. It's either one of the pride and prejudices, obviously,

or it's the one that isn't as a trick to say, ah, you focus too much on the pride and prejudice business. Really, it was this one. I'm going to say pride and prejudice because I don't have any idea. It's a guess. I think pride and prejudice is. And I'm going to say, to cover our bases, pride and prejudice and zombies. Okay.

All right. I've read none of those. I'm either. I haven't read any of it. Got is correct. Oh. He is pride and prejudice. He closes the gap to one point away from a tie here, five to four currently.

It is five to four. Yeah. All right. And we've got. three questions left, so you can totally eat, it's anybody's game. We're down to the wire. All right. I will live in the past, the present, and the future.

Is that from the Catcher in the Rye, the Peripheral, or a Christmas Carol? Oh man, I just watched the peripheral. I don't think that's in there. Isn't it fantastic? Yeah. It's so good. I loved it. This is a very, well, no, Bobby, it's your turn, I think,

to start. I know what it is, I think. I don't think it's the Christmas Carol. It doesn't, I don't remember him doing literal, cross-dimensional existence time travel all at the same time. But maybe he was just speaking figuratively. Come in and know me better man. Come in, know me better man. I love that. Can we agree? The Muppets Christmas Carol. Oh, 100%. What I didn't know though is the come and know me better thing. I didn't know that was taken straight out of the Dickens text. I thought it was a Muppet thing. to say come and know me better man or whatever i i was sure of that and then i saw it in another iteration of a christmas carol it may have been that recent um uh what's it called the spirited

one the one with ryan run yeah and i heard that wait a minute is that are they riffing on the muppet thing and then i went and looked it up and like straight out of the book that's so i i i love the muppet one even more for taking a thing like that out of the book and using it for that big dumb puppet guy that walked around. But I already loved that movie anyway because here's why that movie's magical. It's the greatest version ever of a Christmas carol and here's why. All the Muppets, Rizzo and freaking Gonzo are our eyeballs into the world. They're narrating it and they're being goofy and doing pratfalls and all this dumb stuff. But the core of the story remains very truthful to what it originally was. And the best part though is Michael Kane is playing it like

he is on the stage in England before the queen. He is not dicking around. He's not like going ah, these are puppets I can kind of let down my guard or whatever. That guy is playing it as straight as he ever played anything ever. And it's such a magical combination and makes me want to watch it right this second.

I love it. It really is brilliant. And I'm glad that I convinced myself to come back around because I have trauma about that movie because that is the first movie. That's the first major feature release that the Muppets did. post Jim's death.

It was complicated because of that because it wasn't his voice, it wasn't, you know, yeah. Yeah, I found Kermit, it's much less, you know, just nails on a chalkboard for me now. But at the time, you know, Kermit was so, just his voice and everything,

everything about that character was Jim. And it was so off-putting to have even Brian Henson doing the voice for me that I was just like nope nope I can't do it no it's hard for me too I had to get over it it was like a thing but once I did and I totally don't even think about it now it's it's just a piece of work oh yeah it doesn't bother me at all and I love it I I understand though why the Muppets have sort of backgrounded Kermit a little bit because he just can't you know he can't be what he was no before no still hate that he died anyway

We all die, but, you know, he died of what, like some weird virus got pneumonia and pastor? Yeah, he died of being too stubborn to go to the doctor and call in sick, you know, like he died of, you know, being too addicted to his work to. Well, that and he also was raised seventh day at Venice and they were like anti-doctor stuff and he had a whole, you know, even though he wasn't super practicing it, he was like, you know, it's still on your head. Whatever you get raised with is still sort of there. Of course. Anyway, I hate that. Go to the doctor. Gosh, dang it.

Go get your shit looked at. All right. Real quick, because I need to get y'all's answer on this one. But there are two other things. If you like Muppet Christmas stuff, that's really, really good. If you've never seen Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas, you must go watch that. It's on Disney Plus. It's great.

Here's a little bonus recommendal for you guys because you guys didn't do, we didn't have a Wednesday show. That's right. there's your recommendal. I think I feel like Otters Jug Bam Christmas. I feel like Nicole may have mentioned it years ago, but it is wonderful and also do yourself a favor when you're done.

Go on YouTube and look up bloopers from the making of that movie. It's the funniest fricking stuff you'll ever see. It's so good. And it's all and like, it's all Frank Oz doing, you know, the mother otter there and it's

oh God, it's just so good. It's really, really good. Highly recommend. So there's that. And if you want, want some good Christmas music, but with Muppets also, John Denver and the Muppets did a Christmas album. Like, I grew up with this. This is, to me, it wasn't Christmas unless John Denver was singing with the Muppets, right? So go and look that up because, like, their 12 days of Christmas is hilarious. And he's got so many, there's, have yourself a merry little Christmas. There's all

these just classic wonderful songs. It's called a Christmas Together, John Denver and the Muppets from 1979. Totally recommended to. It's very good. I remember this.

I had this album. This album cover was in our house. You talking about Neil Diamond earlier just made me think of that because I don't know. I like Neil Diamond, John Denver, kind of in the same vein.

Yeah. Same era. Yeah. Same era. Yeah. That's it. Okay. So where's that quote from?

Okay. What was the first option? The future. It was the catcher in the rise. The peripheral. That's the one I'm going with the catcher in the rye. Okay. I'm definitely not going peripheral, even though I haven't read the book.

I just watched the series. It was excellent. People should watch it. I will go with Muppet Christmas Carol. All right. Scott has tied it up. It's a Christmas carol. Oh, it is, is it?

I mean, not Muppet necessarily. It's Christmas Carol. Yeah. I'm playing too risky. Well, look, we're tied. How does that make you feel, Bobby? How you feel about that? It makes me nervous.

Oh, good. now we've got a tiebreaker, right? What do we got? Okay. Well, I actually had two left, but let's do this. I'll cut one of them out. All right. And go with this one. All right. A coward judges all he sees by what he is. Well, that's the truth.

That goes for everything. If you're a dick, you judge everything the way you see the world. It's just the way it is. For real. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. That's definitely true. Yeah. All right. Is that from To Kill a Mockingbird, 1984, or The Dark Tower? Give me a quote again?

A coward judges all he sees by what he is. Oh. What do you think? So Bobby should go because I won the last one. Okay. What do you say? Bob. That's a tough one. I've not read the Dark Tower. Oh, you need to fix that. You need to fix that. It's so good.

My wife's really into Stephen King, and I keep meaning to catch up. It's a magnificent series. It's so good. I'm going to go with... Because it sounds like something... You're talking about someone who's judging bad people, or at least people who... who aren't, you know, being their best. So I'm going to go to kill a mockingbird. Sounds like something that all Atticus Finch would say to maybe.

I can't remember the kid's name. Scout. Scout, yeah. Such a good book. I'm almost certain it's Dark Tower. It's just too familiar to me. I've read that series like four times. I'm starting my fifth

because I'm getting ready for this TV show so I'm going to say Dark Tower I think and Scott is the winner he came up from behind six to five did I get it right chat well of course I did because she said I did

you know what I should have done is just gone with what Scott said because that way we would have been tied no matter you would have tied that's true strategized it well look you went with your heart and meta-gamed it Yeah, yeah. Look, Mockingbird's an amazing book, but it just sounded too familiar, and I haven't read Mockingbirds since I was probably a, I don't know, what was I, in 12th grade?

No, 11th grade, maybe. It was probably a junior. And I didn't care about books then. Guess what I cared about? Girls, cars, and video games. Yeah. Not in that order either. Well, Amy, that was a blast. I imagine. Yeah, of course. That was awesome. I really enjoyed it. You know what I liked? A girl in my car on the way to the arcade. There you go, the whole thing, the whole package. there you go that was awesome i really enjoyed that and uh i'm glad you're feeling better and i look forward to future segments uh is there anything you want to promote or mention before we go um yeah everybody just send some tadpool vibes my son's way we find out at five o'clock this afternoon if he got accepted to yale oh my gosh that's a big ivy league big deal whoopity do school

over there that you got there and so and he's been he's he's he's he's he's worked really, really hard. He, you know, he spent a lot of time on the essays and all that. He went to a summer program there this summer and just loved it. And so he's really, really excited. Did you make sure to grease the right palms, Amy? Yeah, you got to grease the palms. His dad is the schmoozer. I can't, like, I'm not, I'm good with you guys, but I can't, like, regular normies. No, I can't schmooze with, yeah, I can't shmooze with non-nerds. They look at me. Like, I have a third eye. Yeah.

So, because I overshare, you know. Yeah, yeah. No, look, if he gets it, he'll be a Yale man, they call him. A Yale man. Yeah. Or a Yaleie. I think they call them Yaleies. Oh, Lord.

They should not do that. Yeah. My wife watched another run of Gilmore girls and it's all, you know, three or four seasons are all about Rory going to Yale. And I always heard Yale man and stuff like that. But I don't think I ever heard Yale. Yale man. That's funny because it sounds like mailman.

That does sound like mailman, yeah. It's not like a bad, a bad mailman who will only bring you Yale. Speaking of Kim, did I, did you see the, I sent you a TikTok that was, it just cracked me up because it made me think of you. Somebody did this whole skit where she was like, ladies is that season where you just go home to your little small town, minding your own business. And then some flannel clad schmo wants to hit on you and convince you that you should stay here. And, you know, it's a whole riff on all the Hallmark movies. It's just taking the piss, as our friends across the pond would say, out of the Hallmark movies. And so it made me think of you and of Kim and made me laugh.

I'm trying to see where I don't see it. It would be in your inbox on TikTok. When was it? When did you send it? A couple days ago. I don't know. Time has no meaning. It has no meaning to me.

My post-surgery, Christmas time brain. Oh, here are you. You are. I see you. Oh, I have, you know what's funny? I've seen this video. That's hilarious. You know what happens on TikTok a lot? I find out that my friends that are on there get similar timelines to me, which I think makes me happy, I think. I don't know. Yeah. Public timelines anyway. It's a shared experience. That's right. We've enjoyed our shared experience today. I hope you have a fantastic week. You continue to feel better and well. And I hope Chuck's finger remains stubby. Okay. Thank.

I didn't know how else to end up with Chuck there, but that's what I went with. All right. You know, just, you know, you did it. I did it. I did it. Yeah. Don't just do it. Lean in, you know?

Yeah. If you're going to F things up, just do it with pride, I guess. I got an old email I'd like to read. This was directed at you, and it's old. But it's worth reading. It's from Dr. Nikki. We love her. She's great.

Oh, yeah, Dr. Nicky. She's down in Alabama now. a brand new lab and it's got her name I saw a picture yeah I saw a picture with her name on it made me really jealous I want to lab with my name on it I don't know kidding man it's a big deal is she's still doing the sheep stuff she is making it in life she's got a science lab with her name on it congratulations yeah and she still slugs she still slums it here with us somehow I don't know why she even bothers with us like still listens to the show anyway she's great uh she wrote in says

dear scuttle and buttle again bobby's buttle says Brian's not here on TMS 2201 So this is a way is back. One of the quiz questions was about cockroach facts. Scott said if they can live without their head for nine days, it also means they can go without breathing for nine days. That's actually not true. Arthropods, leggy insects, don't have lungs like we do. Instead, they breathe by exchanging air through small pores in their abdomen called

spherical, spiracles, spiracles? Spiricles. Spiricles, yeah. Because there's no age there, so it's going to be spiracles. This sounds weird. anyway meaning they can breathe with uh sorry without their tad he means head she means head uh the more you know and then a rainbow bug the show though

nicky d tns science correspondent stepping all over bobby's territory she says yep yep so there you go uh that was great uh i didn't know that i had no idea they would breathe through their thing while their head grew back that makes sense though they don't they don't have the same sort of uh circulatory system like we do and um and so Yeah, they have all these little holes, all these pores along, I think, well, I imagine it's different with every insect, but many, if not all insects, I think all insects, all insects, all insects, anyway, they tend to be along the side. I just didn't know they breathed. Like, I guess I never thought about an insect breathing. I mean, it's not breathing like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the oxygen comes through those holes and then diffuses into their, you know, gooey inside. yeah yeah just once it gets into the exoskeleton all bets are off yeah well that's awesome thank you for that

i thought she was just a sheep expert but look at her freaking insect knowledge man amazing turns out she's she's got she knows about more than just sheep that's right nicky how does it feel having an email read like four months after you sent it how does that feel about a about an episode from oh i was going to say this was from like three years ago but no you guys go your numbers go up fast because we are numbers go up quick yeah We're almost, actually, let's see today, we're at 2392, just to get some perspective. So this is like from 2201 from like three days ago. Yeah, that's right.

A quick reminder, we got some shows coming up. Speaking of more shows, tonight, an episode of CORE will air with me, John and Bo. We got a bunch to talk about on there. I found out yesterday or, yeah, last night that my niece, who lives near me and goes to school, a bunch of her schoolmates were talking one day about some podcasts they all listen to

and they love it it's their favorite these girls are like 11 and they're like freaking out about some podcast and she hears the name Scott and she goes my uncle's name is Scott

and anyway they come to find out these kids are listening to core in her school so tonight they're getting a shout out I'm about to freak out a bunch of 11 year old girls

I can't wait it's going to be awesome they're going to go they're going to lose their minds so tonight is core and you're going to find out also on that show why I can't seem to stop playing a game from 2015 during a period of this year where there's tons of new games to play don't ask me why well you can't ask me why that'll be tonight on core so check that out 530 mountain time no 5 p.m. mountain time

I don't know why I put an extra half hour on there for the live show and of course you can get it right after on the podcast we have a film sack tomorrow we already have it recorded so that is an absolute thing happening it'll be posted in the morning so watch for that skim today is if I can get Kim locked down. She's got a ton going on with the kiddos. So I don't know what's going on there, but we're going to try to knock out a skim. And then today, after the show,

I'm going to give away some codes that are for the folks over at Jinks. You know, they make the shirts and the jackets and all the what-nots over there, game-related stuff and all that. I got a stack of these $25 gift certificates to give out to somebody luckily hanging out in the chat room. So stick around for that. It is like Christmas.

It's a Christmas miracle, Bobby, really, is what it is. Anyway, watch for all of that. Bobby, please remind people where they can get all around science and what you're talking about this week. Oh, all around science can be gotten by just typing all around science into search boxes everywhere. And you can find it. That's our weekly science show.

This week we are talking about, I'm actually going to be doing a sum up. We're recording tonight. And I'm going to be summing up. sort of like summarizing everything that's been going on with the Artemis program space missions because the Artemis won the first launch went and did its thing

and a few days ago landed safely so I thought you know it's a good time to round up what's going on with that and what the future is with the Artemis program and us trying to go back to the moon that's right where did the Artemis land ocean I assume yeah Pacific Ocean

okay very specific Pacific is where that lands It's pretty big. It's hard to miss. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's where they landed, yeah. And also later in the year, we're going to be doing our normal. Every year we talk about science we missed in the past year, sort of a roundup, and then the beginning of the year.

This is just, I guess, a look ahead. We're going to be talking about dark matter and dark energy starting the year off with that. All right. Well, I've been watching a lot of Futurama, and my understanding is that dark matter comes from that little nibbler character. and when he poops. Yeah, don't spoil it. We want people to tune into the podcast. That's right.

And I cannot recommend re-watching that show enough. I love it so much. It's so good. All around science. Anyway, all around science. Yes. Then Futurama, but all around science first. Futureama got their money.

Get over to Bobby first. All right. Oh, and I forgot to mention, I will be doing a couch party. Brian will not be there. He'll be in Vermont, but I'll be doing a solo couch party. I don't know what I'm watching at.

We're going to save the Ms. Marvel stuff until he gets back. So I'll come up with something and we'll plop down tomorrow at 3 p.m. Mountain for patrons and watch that. So if you are a patron, you know all about it. And if you'd like to become one, patreon.com slash TMS, where you get that benefit as well as no commercials ever, pre-show content every day, including today. Art in the mail and other great stuff. So check it out, patreon.com slash TMS to support your favorite morning show. That's going to do it for us. I'm going to play a song. This is me being a little bit of, I don't know, I don't know if this is nepotism or not.

Bob, you have to tell me if this is nepotism what I'm about to do. But my nephew is in a band called Brother. And they are having a nice little monocum of success these days. They actually performed at TMS Vegas 2019 at Container Park. We had them do the open for somebody. I can't remember who played. I was so proud of them. I can't remember who played after them.

But anyway, I really like Brother. And I like their new album, which their current new album is, called Volume 3. And they have a song on there, song on there called Bleach Baby, which I really like. So I'm going to play it here. So, yeah, again, is this nepotism? I don't know. Bobby, give me the judgment.

Nepotism or no? Yes. Well, it is nepotism, but the real question is, is that okay? And I say yes. I do too. Also, they're on Spotify and Apple Music and they sell records on band camping. I mean, they're like legit. They're not, you know, this isn't just him in his basement and me going, hey, I'll put

your stuff on. It's not like that. They got like a real band. They've been together for a long time. But even if it was, who cares? That's your prerogative on your show with your family. That's right. And it's good.

So deal with it. That's right. And I don't want to hurry up and, you know, give them props before AI starts making music and everyone loses their mind. All right? Right. Because that's coming. You haven't been thinking about that because it's not here yet, but it's coming. People are going to make their own damn music and it's going to sound as good as the recorded stuff.

And then you're going to be pissed. And then a whole other group of artists types will be mad. Anyway, it doesn't matter. Let's move on. That's it. that's us today bobby thanks again man for hanging out i really appreciate it yeah of course anytime it was really fun and uh as we hurtled more towards christmas i hope you guys have uh continued fantastic holiday time enjoy this song and we'll see you for couch party on friday and then monday

brian will be back by now Standing down the edge, I can almost feel the end. I never let you down, so don't you go, forget me now. Well, I'm in your heart. Back in the house, feel your hands upon my mouth, I feel we're getting old, lost yourself and served them all. Well, it's all the light. Everyone will let you down.

I'll be the one Let you sing to washings Bleached by the sun Bleach by the sun Now you're dead and gone, six feet down and we'll be home. And she's all alone, brown and sweat bleached by the sun. You lived a life. Everyone will let you die.

Well, I'll be the one. Let your sins wash hands Bleached by the sun Bleach by the sun Everyone will let you down Well, I'll be the one Let your sins wash your hands Bleeds by the sun

Leads by the sun Everyone will let you die Well, I'll be the one Left your sins and wash your hands Leads by the sun Leads by the sun This show is part of the Frog Pants Network. Get more shows like this at FrogPants.com.

Here's that weird sounding woman again.