The Morning Stream - TMS 2427: Exit Teeth

Episode Date: February 23, 2023

Scotts Leaky Thing. I Don't Like Bad Taxidermyyyyyy. Shadow, When the Walls Fell. Boil 'em, Mash 'em, Shoot 'em into space. Chocolate Factories Smell Like Willy Wonka Farts. Hello! I'm Reading This in Scott Fletcher's Voice? Murder Hamsters. It's a dog-eat-dog bandage world. I'd rather Jackalope than Fleetwood Mac-alope. Can You Come to Work in Like Sandals 'Cause I Like Really Want to Know... Beaver Problems. I'm a laser man. Snowdew Valley. Pretend You're Good At It with Amy. Switching flips with Wendi and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Coming up on TMS, Scott's Leaky Thing. I don't like bad taxidermy. Shadow. When the walls fell. Boil em, mash them, shoot him into space. Chocolate factories smell like Willy Wonka farts. Hello. I'm reading this in Scott Fletcher's voice. Murder hamsters. It's a dog-eat-dog bandage world.

I'd rather jack-a-lope than Fleetwood McA-lope. Can you come to work and like sandals because I, like, really wanted to know? Beaver problems. I'm a laser man. Snowdew Valley. Pretend you're good at it with Amy. Switching flips with windy and more on this episode of the morning stream.

Nothing makes you feel more invigorated and refreshed than a steaming sauna. But who has the time to spend in a spa? Introducing the revolutionary sauna pants. I got shot in a skirmish case. Hey, Burtum, this is the morning stream. Bye. Hello, good morning, and welcome to TMS. It's the morning stream for Thursday, February 23, 2023.

We got us a 2.23-23. There it is. There's your 2.23. And next month, one month from now, thanks to the 28 days of February, we will have. have a 323-23. That's right. It won't be that far. And then that will also mark about the one month until Vegas mark. Oh, geez. Don't remind me. Don't tell me that. Listen, I look forward to TMS Vegas. Don't get me wrong. But I feel like there's so much prep and things that need to happen beforehand.

I have to have a working resin printer to be able to print the prize for the video game tournament. And there's so many things I have to like, all right, this, I need this done. I need to get this done. But before I can do that, I need to have this other thing done. Oh, yeah. Yeah, there's a lot to do. Are you, so I heard you have problems with your printer this morning. Something going on there?

What's going on there? Yeah. So about, well, about three weeks ago, I was dealing with some resin that had gotten through the vat. The bottom of the vat has a plastic sheet called a fat. sheet, FEP. Weird. It stands for some sort of a plastic compound.

I'll go really quickly with this because there's people who are like, I don't exactly what he was talking about. Anyway, so we got through there and cured on the LCD plate and these things don't come with a screen protector, which sucks. Yeah, that does suck.

So, the resin cured onto the thing, which means that the light coming through, the UV light coming through that cures the resin as it builds things, won't get through that certain spot. So I had to print things like something I'm working on for Zoe. I had to print on one side, couldn't print too many, you know, too many things on the plate.

Finally ordered a replacement LCD, got it installed, and it's got, it's like the first layer that it puts down on the print plate has these weird stripes. You remember, well, let's talk old televisions, like old CRT televisions. And sometimes, you know, you'd be watching Leave it to Beaver, and they'd show, you know, Beaver, Jerry Mathers would be on screen talking. And because his face was brighter than the rest, there would be like a stripe either vertically or horizontally that came off of his face on the screen. Oh, like a lighter kind of stripe kind of thing. Okay, yeah, weird, like old tube TV distortion thing. I know what you're talking about.

A little bit of distortion, like, yeah. that was happening with prints so I'd print something and the first layer would be the same as the shape of the base of the thing I was printing but stretched out to the edges of the print plate but like a light film like not fully cured kind of rubbery curly crap and because of that I wasn't getting clean clean prints so that reminds me of um so it's not just discoloration it's actually actually like the material itself. It's not all this coloration. Yeah, I mean, basically, it's curing resin in places it should not be curing resin. The place that should be, the places that should have no resin curing on them are getting a really thin film, a thin stripe of resin curing on it. Weird. That's weird. So, fortunately, this doesn't affect the steam decks or the TMS stream decks because those are printed on the filament printer.

But on the resin printer is where I do the khyber crystals, the things I sell on Etsy, and hopefully soon shopify. And those have been on hold, and I've had to let people know, I'm like, all right, your order's going to ship a little bit late because I'm dealing with an issue. I sure that happens with a lot of stuff on Etsy, right, where 3D printers are involved, probably, right? Yeah, I think so, but, you know, I hate this will be the first time I've actually had to reach out to somebody that's not a TMS patron and say, hey, sorry, you're not. Your order is going to be a little bit delayed because of a tech issue. Yeah, yeah, he's doing that. I get it. Yeah.

Chat room real quick. This is, Brian mentioned the stream decks, and I just wanted to show this. Are you showing that Jerry Tolbert's painted stream deck? Yeah, so Jerry Tolbert went and painted his. Look at that. Dude, that's so cool. How amazing does that look? It looks so good.

It looks great. I'm jealous. I could do it myself, I suppose, but I'm no Jerry Tolbert. No, I wish, this is when I wish I had a fully, you know, full color 3D printer that had the four you can pull in four different colors of resin so you do your CMYK and then have it do a different mix of those to do colors and stuff yeah man that's the future that's that's that's going to be everything one day every one day you're just going to go oh i'd like to print a thing and you're not going to have to go set some plate make sure it's level or you're not

going to do any of that right it's just going to poop it out the robots will take care of it the AI will fix all your leveling issues done done oh i know it's probably you're you're probably not far off. I think that's the future. I kind of think it needs to be the future. It's a little bit like, you know, the way we were with like dot matrix printers back in the day. It was a pain and to line them up.

They'd get all ski wampas. They were slow. You'd run out of the freaking ribbons. We used ribbons for the thing. Yeah, exactly. You know? Oh, my God. We're in a way better place.

Dot matrix life was. What a dumb time of life that was. It was so stupid. And I still don't like the inkjet world we live in. I think inkjet's, suck. I like laser. I'm a laser man. Agreed. I'm like a dapper-dan man. I'm a laser man. Anyway.

I don't want fop. No. I don't want dot matrix. I'm a dapper-dan man. I'm a dapper-dan man. All right. We got some stuff to do here. We got a phone call I like to play early. This is about the smell of the place you work. It's in regards to the crematorium.

Or not the crematorium, sorry, the grow center for marijuana that was right across the street from the rehab center. Yes. We have like dueling stories. We have the one about the crematorium and McDonald's. Yeah, the McDonald's, McChryspy. Right. Whoa, shit, why did that play?

And then we have this whole other thing with the weed grower next to the rehab place. So this is about the rehab place. And he adds a little context to things. Here you go. Hi, Scott and Brian. A couple weeks ago, you guys had a news story about a grow house or a grow center next to or across the street from a recovery, a rehab clinic, our recovery house. I just wanted to comment that I used to work both in the corn milling and chocolate industries at factories. And one of the things that we had to do was actually

put devices called scrubbers on all of our air outputs to knock down not only chemicals that are bad to the environment, but also smell. And if we got complaints, enough complaints from municipality, we had to do a study about that smell. So I just want to let you know that maybe that's something that needs to happen for girlhouses. Anyway, this is Zinger in Wisconsin. Have a good day. Maybe that's all they need to do is just dampen down the smell somehow. What kind of monster complains about the smell of a chocolate factory? Oh, have you smelled an actual chocolate factory, though? They do not smell like chocolate.

They smell like ass. There's a sugar factory that we drive by on the way to brush. Yeah, same kind of thing. It's like, oh, that is not a good smell. No, it's terrible. We have a Dan and yogurt factory here or a center thing, whatever. Holy shit. It's so bad.

I mean, if you just smell a yogurt. Yogurt, yogurt as tasty as it is. Yeah. It does, it is never, it is nothing you ever want to smell, even fresh, even fresh yogurt, no. Yeah, and you'd think with Dan and it's like, you know, it's sweeter than your, than your Greek yogurt or whatever. But no, it doesn't matter. Dude, you drive by there, you'd think a diaper's on your face. It's so bad.

I would think, it's funny. I would think, like, a chocolate factory would smell pretty good. But I know sugar, sugar has a very pungent, not very good smell to it, so maybe it's a similar kind of thing. I think it's just a matter of too much of that, like too much of one ingredient, and then it just stinks. I don't know. We have a Purina factory that's on I-70, like, basically it makes puppy chow and stuff like that. And it's, I swear to God, you go buy that thing, and it smells like you are burying your face in the aisles at PetSmart. Do dogs like it?

Because I'd really like to know. Oh, I don't know. That's really good question. Like, as a special treat, we're going to get. drive you by the Purina factory, probably. It probably just makes some salivate, right? It's probably like a have-loved smell kind of thing. Like last night, okay, help me understand this.

I'm changing Rainer's dressing, all right? Her bandage. Going from a, from a Catalina to a blue cheese. Yeah, more of a creamy blue cheese, yeah. I like that. Orrugfort, as my mom would say. I love the roquefort. No one calls it that anymore, right?

It's like an old-generation thing. That's how you know when someone's from the quote-unquote Greatest generation. The greatest generation. So anyways, we're doing her thing and, you know, doctor told us how to do this on the regular. So we're doing what's good for the dog and all that. And you take off the old bandage and put it aside.

Ripley comes up, sits, and stares at it. The gross used bandage has been on her for 12 hours. Sure. She stares at it and just starts drooling, dripping on the floor drooling. Oh, God. Really? Yeah. Like, Ripley, why do you want that freaking thing?

what is it about a nasty old used bandage you want to put in your mouth i don't get it well all right do do dogs like once this thing has been on them for a certain amount of time do dogs feel like yep that's part of my body now oh you took off part of my body no i want to eat that part of my body well rayner didn't want it it was rippley ripley's like oh right okay yeah rayner doesn't care rippley's over there just like oh i gotta have it it's like a treat it reminds me when george asks a lane if uh use Kleenex is like a valentine or whatever you said in this one episode where it's just like how do you want such a gross thing how could that be a good thing to eat and i don't know maybe the dog smells like i don't know they have a they do

have a what they have instincts to lick their wounds it maybe it smells like a little wound package you know but they lick their wounds because it hurts right they're like oh if i just keep licking this maybe i can make it feel better but bio cow does say well smells like blood blood dogs eat blood yeah they do like the blood don't they yeah vampire little bastard dog a little there's a little bit of wolf if that if that uh dog food commercial is anything to be believed scott uh all every dog has a little bit of wolf inside sure i thought so i thought they you say they they they look it for pain that's what i thought too but is it also maybe that is it to clean it because they have pretty clean mouths overall like they they what was it myth busters did a thing where they compared human saliva to dog saliva and the dog one was

like hardly any bacterial growth in the human was like a big fuzzy nightmare. Yeah. Yeah. So some of that. If dogs, I mean do dogs, do dogs know that their wounds need to be kept clean? Yeah. It's impossible. Do dogs have a minor medical degree like most of Facebook did in 2020? Oh, good point. Yeah, they all became epidemiologists for a year.

That's right. Exactly. Sure. Yeah, I don't know. I think it's just more of a base instinct than a need to keep a wound clean. And I think it's like, oh, this hurts, lick, lick, lick, it still hurts. Oh, lick, lick, like, there's a thing that's wrong with me. I will now lick it until it doesn't hurt or have a problem anymore. Right, exactly. And in her case, she'd do that, she'll tear it open, so she's got to be careful.

But anyway. A new Monday segment, we need a vet. We need a vet now. Yeah, do we have any vets out there? It'd be cool. Just call in, just call in and say, hey, I'm a vet, and I do this, and here's my take. Do us a voicemail or something. That'd be fine.

8-0147-1062. You can be like the dude that called us before. yeah uh well there you go there's our updates uh i hope that all made sense to you now prepare yourselves to open a book and read the words within because red fraggle aka amy robinson i guess it goes the other way around amy robinson aka red fraggle no it is just an also known as you can be you can be also known as this can be aka also known as brand it either direction right it works it's not it's a functional okay it's just it's you know it's not a

known more famously as it's just also known as well here let's see what she's known as it's time for read this with our old pal amy aka red fraggle which do you prefer when you when you're in the grocery store would you like the lady to refer to as amy or red fraggle what are you like oh my gosh i don't know i never go to the grocery store anymore because you know we just we just have publics deliver everything now oh you do the click list or whatever it is. Yeah. If we need like if we need like avocados or something that actually requires a human to pick it out, um, which I realize that the people shopping for it are humans, but they also don't care. No, they don't care. If I get an overripe or an underripe avocado, they don't care. They will grab

the top avocado in the stack. Whatever is easiest that they can start making their way over to the, the pickle pigs now. It's whatever. We go to a store here and there, but they, the one thing the pandemic did is they sure made a whole bunch of systems. easier to deal with so that it's just more convenient and it's worth the extra couple bucks, right? So like prior to that, I don't think we ever had groceries delivered since then, even in times where we're not worried about the pandemic or, you know, like let's say this week, sometimes it's just easier to go, I need these eight items.

I don't want to go get them. It's worth my, it's worth two bucks because otherwise I'll spend that in gas and time. Do they, and do they actually deliver it to your house or do you have to go to the grocery store back your car up open and they put the bags in oh no no here they will they will deliver it straight to my door and they you know they drop it on my doorstep ring my bell and go away did that mean they just slug you right in the head while you're there oh you don't mean ring that bell i get it okay hey uh real real quick though do they do they also don't mean to ring my bell from the 70s sign which is a totally different oh yeah very oh my gosh definitely not that

totally different thing they're not you know it's not the white stripes thinking about my doorbell. They'd have to pay you for that kind of bell ringing. Why did I ever think about the fact that that White Stripe song is not about an actual doorbell? Why did that never cross my mind? I'm not sure, Brian. You might want to check in with Tina about that. Let us know how the bell goes. Hey, the bell tolls for you.

Let's talk about reading things here on the show. You brought a couple of clips. Do you want me to play the one that is a bit of a goof? Do you want that to be... Yeah, okay. So let's play the other one first. Okay. And then we can...

Yeah, so play the one that's not the goof. And then we'll play the goof here. All right. We'll play the goof later. Here's the one that is not the goof, everyone. Herein, I intend to provide an honest account of my day-to-day activities in the field as I document an enigmatic species of fairy called Hidden Ones. This journal serves two purpose.

to aid my recollection when it comes time to formally compile my field notes, and to provide a record for those scholars who come after me, should I be captured by the folk? Verbovolent, screptermanent. As with previous journals, I will presume a basic understanding of dryadology in the reader, though I will gloss certain references that may be unfamiliar to those new to the field. new to the field. I have not had reason to visit Useland before, and would be lying if I said my first

sighting this morning didn't temper my enthusiasm. The journey takes five days from London, and the only vessel to get you there is a weekly freighter carrying a great variety of goods and a much smaller variety of passengers. We ventured steadily north, dodging icebergs, whilst I I paced the deck to keep my seasickness at bay. I was among the first to sight the snowbound mountains rising out of the sea. The little red-roofed village of Haravansfeek huddled below them like red riding hood as the wolf loomed behind her.

Ooh, I like where this is going. I like this. So I can't wait to find out why this is a goof. This one's not the goof. The other one is. Oh, this one's not a goof. No, this one was not the goof. So now, to learn what book this is, you can play the goofy one.

Just bear in mind. I just, I just, I read this blurb online about this book, and it struck me as really funny if I did it this way. So go ahead and prepare to laugh at me. Expect Scott Fletcher vibes to this one. Here you go. Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Ferrys by Heather Fawcett. A curmudgeonly professor journeys to a small town in the far north. to study fairy folklore and discovers dark fay magic, friendship, and love in the start

of a heartwarming and enchanting new fantasy series. Congratulations. Nice. You did it. He nailed it. Nice. Nice working, yeah.

It just, when I read that blurb, I was like, oh my God, I can't read that not, like I hear Fletcher's voice in there. So I was like, all right,

I got to do this goofy thing. Yeah, that's one of the things that we've done. In condition, too many times. by film sack is the problem not only that like if you read any description of almost anything out there they all read kind of the same and so i just hear fletcher's voice when i read a description of anything it's like i was watching rambo the 2008 rambo and the description of the thing may as well

have fletcher's head next to it because it just sounded like you read it it's totally crazy anyway all right well tell us about this book it sounds interesting and i like fairies yes so it this is a really cool book that I actually received as part of my Tadpool Secret Santa gift. Oh, that's cool. It was, oh, this was so awesome. I didn't tell, I was

saving it for when I actually used the book. But yeah, I got from my Tadpool Secret Santa, the coolest gift. I got a three-month subscription to Jenny Lawson's fantastic Strangelings book club. And

I have just, that, that I was like, oh, my gosh, I didn't even know this existed. And I love this. This is like one of the best gifts I've ever gotten. So, yeah, I love it. Who's Jenny Lawson? That name is really familiar. Do I know her from some other something?

Yes. So I have talked about her books before. She is the bloggist online. And she, you know, she writes memoirs type books. And she's very irreverent and hilarious. and yeah so we've talked about a couple of her books before but you rest assured whenever she has a new book out i'll be featuring it here because i love her so yeah but yeah if you're not familiar with jenny lawson the blog us dot com is where you can find out about her and and but

yeah she's got several different book clubs because she runs an indie bookshop in uh somewhere in Texas. And it's just, it's just fantastic. And, and there, it's like an introverts book club. So basically you get, you get the book. And there are some online forums where you can go and you can talk about the book with other people if you want. Or you could just read the book and enjoy it. Excuse me. And, um, sorry, I'm still getting over this thing. It takes forever. Zoe in the chat's got it now. Everybody's getting this weird cold. That is a COVID that's stupid and hangs around for weeks. It sucks. All right. Get rid of it before you all come to Vegas because if I see anybody sniffling in

Vegas, I'm sentencing you to quarantining you to your room. Yeah, that's right. Oh, no, it's even worse than that. I got to get rid of it. Oh, yeah. So Jenny Lawson is, for those of you listening at home, Scott is looking at her website right now. And she is a fan of anybody who doesn't remember or know about her. She is a big fan of bad. taxidermy because when she was growing up her her dad is actually a taxidermist so she has this weird fascination with bad taxidermy it's hilarious her husband of course is distressed by by this i love the term bad taxidermy it's just a great term you know yeah right i mean yeah i like it too i like weird i like weird like weird like my dad used to have a jack no was a jackalope uh head or

like taxedermied head and for the longest time as a kid i thought those were real but it was you know it's an apocryphal bull crap story that those exist but it's basically a rabbit that they attached you know antlers too but i thought that thing was so cool it was in his office all the time and i don't know what happened to it i wish i could have kept it but anyway i'm a fan too i'm sure you could find one longhorn steakhouses usually have like a jackaloupe somewhere oh gosh yeah Because I used to work at a Longhorn Steakhouse when I was in college and we had a jackaloupe. Oh, I'd love some Longhorn right now. I had this one couple come in one time, asked me if they could be seated somewhere where they didn't have to sit under a dead animal.

And I was like at a different restaurant. Yeah. Maybe, let me, let me see you over at the TGI Fridays down the way. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So anyway, this book is called Emily Wilde's. What is it? Emily Wilde's encyclopedia of fairies. And it is not an actual encyclopedia. It is her journal of, well, obviously it's fictional, but it is the journal of the professor who is compiling the encyclopedia of fairies. And she travels to this very, very remote island in, it's not, why am I? I'm blanking on everything today. like Scandinavia. So everywhere up there, it's some place that like Wendy would probably be able to pronounce

the names in this book. But, you know, and the author, not the author, the narrator does an excellent job of that. But when I was reading it on the page, I was like, I have new idea how to pronounce all of that. So, but anyway, she goes to this really, really remote part of Scandinavia where it's, It's like this little bitty town, you know, kind of just kind of picture Stardue Valley, but if it were in the far north, you know, it was, it's kind of this like, hey, there's this an outsider here, you know, we don't know it.

Star do valley if it took place on the set of the Northman. Oh, I like it. That's a hell of an idea. I would play that game. I would so play that. Or like the village in the village in that movie. Klaus, but without all the feuding. Oh, yeah.

The Klaus Village is awesome. I love that. Yeah. Okay. I get it. Now it's all coming clear. It's covered in snow. She's, of course, ill-equipped to deal with such.

And so the locals kind of look at her and laugh. And she's there to study the folk, as she calls them. Yeah. And it's really interesting because it occurred to me while I was reading it. I was like, oh, she keeps referring. to the fairies and whatnot as the folk and I'm like uh okay so in this world folklore is literally like lore around fairies and stuff so I I just thought that was interesting that is I like that yeah but it's really good and I very much enjoy it I don't

want to I don't want to give away too much about it because there were a lot of things that were really fun reveals some of which are a little bit obvious some of which are a little less obvious and and end up being really fun when they get revealed. But yeah, it's a, it's a good time. Yeah, she has a giant dog with her named Shadow. And so that I had a gerbil name Shadow. Is that weird? His name is Shadow.

Well, what color was it? Well, he was black, which sounds, you know, obviously. But he's the one that ate all the other gerbils in that story. I always tell when they went nuts after, I don't know what happened, some dust from the walls. treatment fell into their cage and they all the walls fell yeah they had they had a cannibal I've told the story before on here I can't remember

but anyway they cannibalized or they all went crazy cannibal and he was the last one standing and he was all fat in the corner he looked like I don't know it was like Jim Jones sitting in the corner everybody else is dead and their bodies laying everywhere and he's the last one and he died like an hour later it was awful

oh yeah that's when I stopped selling uh I stopped selling those things was after that. Anyway, kind of weird morbid head to that entrepreneur going on.

Yeah, right. Anyway, sorry. The Sarge says that Goodreads currently has a giveaway for the book. Oh, that's cool. Yeah,

if you go to Goodreads, you might be able to get a free copy of this book. The print copy is actually, it's one of those

that's really, it feels really nice when you, it's a hard copy, you know, a hard cover copy. Yeah. But the covering on it

feels really nice. It doesn't have a, it doesn't have a dust jacket, but it's, it's one of those that's, I don't know how to describe it. I don't know what the specific thing is, but, you know, it just, it feels nice. It doesn't feel, yeah, it's, it feels really smooth and it's, it feels like it's made out of, like, something expensive for them to bind a book with. I don't know. Sure, sure, sure. So, yeah, so I definitely recommend everybody go check out Emily Wilde's Encyclopedia of Ferrys. It's a good one.

We're going to actually reread it. I'm always, whenever I enjoy a book, I both recommend it here and also I bug Chuck. I'm like, you need to read this book. Read it, read it. Because I want to talk about it. But I can't talk about it until you read it because I don't want to spoil it because then you won't want to read it. So go read it. Yeah, go read it.

It sounds good. Plus she's got a ton of other books. Like she's, you know, she's a storied author. She has a lot of success. I think people would like reading her. I never have, but I'm going to because of you. Yeah. Oh.

It's your fault. It's your fault. It's my fault. It's all my fault. Yeah, look what you did. Well, I'm still, I'm still excited for you to start reading Discworld stuff because then you'll just never stop reading. I know. It's such a daunting task.

Look at that. You gave us a really good entry point, which helps tremendously, but it's like, okay, finally dipping my toe into Discworld. Yeah. And how to get in there edgewise. It's scary. and I'm glad that you're here to help us with that. You're the only person. I will be,

I will definitely be your Discworld guide, your Sherpa, if you will. Okay. Oh, I always wanted a Sherpa. So this is good. Help us, Red Fraggle. You're our only hope. I love the idea of a Sherpa named Red Fraggle. That's amazing.

I know. That's fantastic. Yeah. Yeah. Well, all right then. Go check it out, everybody. It's awesome. You also got some interesting emails from people.

Did you want to read some of that? What was the deal? I did. Yes. Yeah. So let me know, after I do this one, let me know if we have time for the other one. We'll do it next week if we don't have time. Sure.

But this one, I'm remiss. I apologize. Like a couple times we didn't have a show, so that's not my fault. It's not your fault. A couple times I actually, right. A couple times I actually, I was like, oh, I forgot to read this person's email. So I'm going to go ahead and read it now. And so here we go.

All right. Hi, Amy. I have been enjoying your visits on the morning stream. I love audiobook. due to the fact that they are easier for me to consume. I used to be a voracious book reader, but as my health and disabilities got worse, and I started having some neurological issues, I was having a harder and harder time reading books. Then I discovered audiobooks, and they were great. I even used to write stories, but it has been a very long time for me since I last

wrote anything. I've been meaning to suggest a topic for Scott and Brian. Who are your favorite audiobook narrators or readers. Sometimes that makes the difference for me as to whether or not I will listen to an audiobook. I'm having a hard time remembering some of their names, but I enjoyed listening to Jim Broadbent, William Dufree, probably, Dick Hill, and I think that Neil Gaiman has read some of his own books and was great. He has, and he is great. Yeah, really good.

I have become a fan of the narrators. and readers as much as I am of the authors. I enjoy your reading of some of the books that you talk about. I even used to work for the local public library system, so books are an important part of my life. They're equally important for my wife, too, as they can provide an escape from the harsh reality of the real world. Thank you for what you were doing.

Take care, Jamie Todd, aka Wolfcrane. Oh, yeah. I love Jamie. Jamie's good deal. Yeah, it was a really nice, really nice message that he sent me, and I asked him, like, hey, can I share that on the, on the show and he said yes absolutely and I have been meaning to do it ever since been like a month I'm I'm slack

but anyway so do you guys have any favorite audio book narrators? I have two that jumped to mine two immediately jumped to my head and it's funny because one of them read a Neil Gaiman book and that's where I first discovered him but then I later no actually I guess I first discovered him on the gunslinger

Stephen King's the gunslinger is the original second sorry second narrator Anyway, the guy's name is George Gwadel. Easily my favorite voice to hear, maybe period, but we're reading books as well. I think he's still with us. He's very old now. He was born in 1938, so I'm not sure where he's at. But, man, George Gwedell can put me in a place.

He is freaking awesome. Love that guy. And then the other one I really like is Jim Dale, was an actor back when we were a kid. Do you guys remember, oh, the one, the Don Knott's Western. Oh, yeah, the Apple Dumplin game? No, it's like that, though. It's that era. It's called, Jim Dale played an evil cowboy guy and a good cowboy guy.

And it's, I forgot the name of it. But anyway, a whole bunch of 70s and 80s kids will know this movie. And they'll write in and tell me. But anyway, Jim Dale did all the Harry Potter books. He's done some other stuff as well. he also was the narrator for the pie show um uh what was that called uh the pie pushing daisies right pushing dais okay yeah yeah that's where i know him from i was like i know the name jim dale yeah he's fan freakintastic that guy is so good anyway so for me it's

those two dudes and never stephen king do not let him read his own books he's terrible terrible no that's that's what i was going to say i don't actually have a favorite narrator. I usually read them. I prefer because if I'm listening to something, I have to be listening to music for show prep. I get very little time between soundography, coverville, and TMS to actually sit and say, all right, I'm going to listen to something I want to listen to. But my least favorite author to listen to is Stephen King. Sorry, Stephen, your little reedy voice just does not put me to a place where I want to hear. Yeah. What you're saying, we love it. Like the books and so. Words are great. Just don't say him. Just don't say him, man. Have George Goodell read all your books. He's perfect for it. He reads Gunslinger.

Wolves of the Colla, I believe, is at least... I think the first four books in the Dark Tower series are all George Goodell, or there are versions of George Goodell reading those. Cannot recommend them enough. That's a great way to get into that series. Typically, if I'm listening to like a biography or an autobiography, hearing the word, you know, the author's own voice is usually where it's out. So the George Carlin bit you played last or a couple of weeks ago, that's a big one. It's like, all right, I don't want to hear anybody else narrate a George Carlin book. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I agree. We may never have to. Yeah, right.

Oh, Lord. Yeah, if it's like a memoirs of any sort or, you know, nonfiction, like you say, if it's autobiographical, I want the author to read it. Um, funny story. Actually, I may have told this story already, but I'll tell it again because I love it. Uh, when Jenny Lawson first went in to record her first book as an audio book, she was just struggling. Like she is, she who struggles with a lot of mental health stuff like, she has a lot of anxiety. Um, she literally has like generalized anxiety disorder. And, you know, it can be very bad. Like she's to the point where she pulls her hair out and stuff like that. She's openly talked about. Um, she literally talked about. Um, she literally has like, um, she literally talked about. Um, um, she's. She's openly talked about. Um, a lot of that. Yeah. So she was just struggling, struggling with it, but she had actually become friends with Neil Gaiman.

And so they took a break and she went outside and she called Neil Gaiman. And he gave her this great advice, which was pretend you're good at it. And so she took a Sharpie and wrote that on her arm. And then she went back in to the booth. And the producers were like, okay, we don't know what you did, but keep doing it because this is great. That's great.

Oh, I love it. Yeah. That's awesome. See, that would be, there we go. Like, I often try to figure out, like, I'm doing the tattoo from, from, you know, with Tina's voice that I've been talking about for years. But that would be a great second one is just a tattoo, a little scripted thing on the side. Maybe in comic sense it says, pretend you're good at it.

Pretend you're good at it. Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. I mean, a lot of people have gotten that tattooed on their arm or whatever because they felt like that was, that was such a help. Is that the whole fake it until you make it? Is it the same idea?

I like it. Same, same, yeah, same premise, but I just like the way pretend you're good at it is far better than fake it until you make it. Because it doesn't sound like the fake until you make it sounds fraudulent. Like you're really trying to put one over on people. But pretend you're good at it is just basically saying your confidence will carry you 60% of the way there. Yeah, right. Exactly. Like, you know, or, you know, try and embody somebody who is good at it. It's like, like me doing that goofy Fletcher thing. I obviously have, you know, I cannot sound like Scott Fletcher. I don't, I don't, I don't, my vocal cords don't quite do that. But I can do that character and make it sound ridiculous, you know. Sure. Sure. It becomes a whole different thing when you do it. You know, it's more like a, like a, like a homage, a parody. A cover. Yeah. Just like that. There you go.

I've heard of those. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You should probably familiar with those a little bit, right? I've heard of them. Yeah. Yeah.

All right. Well, this is great. Hang that other email out for next week. Let's, we'll paste it a little bit. But I like that. I like when people give you feedback and always good to have it shared here during your segment. It is Red Fraggle 3 wherever you want to find her. Okay?

Everywhere. I just docks you, but just your username. I'm everywhere. Just your avatar name. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going on, I'm going on the Joko crew. So, Brian, I have to get better from this cold even quicker than that.

No kidding. Yeah, what is that? Is that mid-March? Yeah, it's like the beginning of March. So, yeah, we leave March 4th. And I'm teaching a class on how to build a puppet. Nice. Nice.

Puppetry on a ship? That sounds good. I like that. Yeah. Yeah, they keep asking us to do something for like T. for something on the Joko cruise in my dreams, but we, at some point, we'll, we'll, uh, I was like, really? Have it?

Oh, they've never, they haven't asked, but, you know, those guy, Paul and Storm once in a while go, hey, you guys come one year. I'm like, yeah, I know, but we got, it's usually just, my problem is it's the time of year. Like, March is bad. It's busy. It's hard. Yeah. We got our thing coming up.

Sometimes that's in March when we do Vegas. So, I don't know. It's hard. but I'm excited for you, dude. That's great. Yeah. I will probably come back with lots of video and cool stuff. Yeah, no, that's great.

Let us know how it goes. It's Red Fraggle. Amy, have a fantastic week. We'll see you next time. You too. Bye now. Bye-bye. You too.

That's your favorite band. All right, we are going to do some news. We got a little bit of it. So here we go. In the news is sponsored by you'll find quality in our corner. Oh, yes, you will. Let's find out what's going on. on the news brought to you by

Our friends at That Story Show podcast. They're sponsoring a comedy story contest where you, yes, you can win $50 every week. Visit thatstoryshow.com and submit your real life story today. Today. That's a really cool thing. That is cool.

I'm excited for those guys. All right, NASA in the news. You know, the National Aerospace. Aeronautic Space Administration. There you go. They got images of a weirdly long asteroid that we want to share. That looks like a penis. It's a very odd shape for an asteroid.

Usually you think of it like a rounded but then a big tail usually or something. We've even said on this show that all asteroids look like potatoes and NASA says, hold on, hold my snapple because they don't drink beer. No, they do not. They can't. They're not allowed. Anyway, this thing looks like a proper potato. uh like brian said look at that thing uh it does actually looks like a lung potato like a fingerling

yeah like oh yeah there you go yeah i get these at the uh the the the tv Fridays with cheese and stuff melted in it uh six radar observations made of an asteroid swinging by our planet revealed an unusually oblong space rock the object is three times as long as it is wide in a regular shape as far as asteroids are concerned uh this one is called the 20 uh the 2 000 11 AG5 i assume it was discovered in 2011, so usually how that works. Probably, yep. It's about the shape and size of the Empire State Building, minus the 220-foot antenna. So I give you an idea how big it is.

The asteroid's nearest approach to Earth happened on February 3rd when it came within 1.1 million miles of our planet, and when scientists talk about these approaches, they're usually speaking relatively anyway. Yeah, 1 million miles, you know, 1.1 million miles away from Earth is pretty good. I mean, that's, you know, the sun is 93 million miles. So that tells you how close this thing was. Closer, in relative terms, closer than usual, I would say. Yes, exactly.

Let's see, the asteroid was detected in 2011, but only recently came close enough for scientists to have a good look at it. This was on the web telescope. It's about 1,600 feet long, 500 feet wide, and was observed by the Goldstone Solar Power System radar at the Deep Space Network facility between January 29th and the 4th of February. Anyway, pretty cool, man. pretty cool. Yeah, no kidding. Even Mars and Venus get within like 40 million miles to Earth. So

1.1 million miles. Pretty, pretty dang close. Yeah, they have. So this is interesting. On record, 1,040 near Earth objects, so around this distance, have been recorded over time. Okay. Or observed by this particular planetary radar to date. So since its inception, this is how many they've seen. They said this is the most elongated one they've seen. They've never seen one that was so potato-y. We've never seen an asteroid that's quite so long. Yeah, they're

into it. They're into length. Yeah. Over there, NASA. Here's a story in Ohio. Oh, good news. Ohio story. Wait a minute, where is it? There it is. That isn't about a train. It isn't about a horrible fume. Yeah.

That horrible freaking thing, man. God, that is so horrendous. Nasty. A pizzeria, a pizza shop, draws attention for seeking to hire non-stupid people. I like this. I like this a lot. There's part of me that applauds this and part of me that's like, yeah, okay, I guess I see where there might be some umbrage. I could see that too.

A pizzeria in Columbus, Ohio raising eyebrows after advertising to hire a specific type of job applicant. The family-owned Santino's Pizzeria has posted. of the sign reading. Now hiring non-stupid people. Job ad has garnered social media buzz for the tiny shop in the city's southwest side. Maybe that's all you need anyway. It's just a little buzz. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, Santinos didn't immediately respond to request for interview. Most customers who saw the sign of laughed, says the co-owner Jaden Donigan. It's more humor than anything he says. It's not meant to target anyone or to be rude. Well, I mean. It may be, it maybe is it meant to, but how would you feel if you were the employee that got fired 15 minutes before they put up that sign?

Yeah. Like, oh, God, fire Scott Johnson. And let's, you know, put up a sign that just says, now hiring it on stupid people. Yeah, I think, I think that employee would take it as a slight, you know? A little bit of like a target, yeah, maybe. So they posted it two months ago out of frustration with hiring in recent months. Previous employees have come to the pizzeria with little or no work ethic, says Donagan. adding that finding good help has been difficult.

Well, I understand that. Heather Stockton, manager at Santino, told CBS affiliate WBNS that she looks for employees who, or looks for employee who is, quote, just reliable on time, just don't come to work in like sandals. That's an exact quote.

That was a very exact quote. It makes me say, all right, well, Heather, maybe, you know, maybe before you, when you punch your finger at someone else, there are still four fingers pointing back at you, Heather. Like, just like, pointing back at you like. Yeah, she read it like our dogs lady.

The dogs have brains. Or like the junior Miss America pageant who talked about the Iraq and because they don't have maps. Yeah, yeah. Oh, she was great. She was great. Truly represented us, the best of who we are. I feel so bad for it. Like, you have your crap moment out on stage.

this public forum and you're never going to live that down. Nope, you'll always be the person that said that. You get up there in front of lights and the cameras and who knows what, you can easily just have a blank out, freak out moment. Poor woman had it captured for the world to see. Fame is a double-edged sword and the edge

that cuts you is a freaking sharp gnarly one, you know? Yeah. If you screw up in public, I watched that because Nicole recommended it. She didn't do a recommendal, I don't think, but she recommended seeing it. It was the Pamela Anderson documentary, Pamela.

Oh, right, right. Not the, not the Pam and Tommy. No, not that. Although they talk about that in there. I'm sure they do. But anyway. Wasn't it somebody good that played Tommy? Wasn't it?

Was it Sebastian Stan? Yeah, Sebastian Stan. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he got a big silver arm. That was weird. No, it was very good, by the way. Highly recommend that documentary.

The Pamela documentary. Yeah. It's a great, it's a great illustration of how we, objectify people based on all we get to see, which is TMZ articles and photos and magazines and that's it. Yeah. It's very good. Secondly, though, what was my point there? I was going to make a point. Because we were talking about the public forum saying having a crap out moment on stage. Oh, right. There was a, there is a, so when that sex tape scandal happened, I didn't realize how much skeeby stuff was going on that made it possible for even someone to get it. Like it wasn't

Oh, really? Yeah, it wasn't like, oh, we have all these crazy sex tapes we make. It's like, no, they had a private thing they made. They even forgot they had it. They had it stored away under lock and key with a bunch of other memorabilia. Somebody broke into their freaking house and took it. Like somebody broke into their house and took it. So Tommy Lee freaked out on camera and punched some camera dude.

Yeah. And that was kind of like that was it for them. like there was no way they were going to recover from this and i always just think man if it was me i would have punched him too yeah oh yeah for sure you know there's there's a little bit of like this is why you don't take pictures of your junk no i agree there's like a little bit of i agree there's a little bit of that it is 90 it is 99% on the on the foot of of that guy that broke into the house and stole the video but it's 1% on the maybe you know yeah maybe you don't need to be recording yourself having sex.

Maybe you don't need to take pictures of your junk. Or do it and then delete it. Or something. They're destroyed if it's like physical media. Yeah. Again, Brian's right. 99% on the horrible person that broke in and took it. Here's the other thing that pissed me off.

People made millions of dollars on that tapes release. Everybody, but her and Tommy made that money. Right. She got nothing for anything. it's a real bummer dude that that's a documentary worth watching i think yeah it made me think a lot about stuff anyway uh let's talk about this final story here about a man with the world's longest tongue uh he's now using it to paint shit so okay he's tired of all of the uh the dates that he's gotten all of the the popularity he's uh yeah he's just decided ah i'm gonna now

it's time for me to pursue my my creative career Indeed. This California man whose tongue is 3.97 inches. That doesn't seem like a lot, but that's the Guinness. Four inches? That's it? Yeah. It doesn't seem like a lot, but that's the longest on record.

Hold on a second. All right. Well, hold on a second. 3.9 inch. Let's see. Oh, all right. You know, all right. That's, yeah. That's pretty long.

That's decent. Yeah. Do you measure it from the base? To the tip, the base to the tip. Is that you're going to say? Is that how far it comes out of his mouth? Or is that, do you measure it from that little, that little piece of skin that attaches it to the base of your, your mouth? That horrible, that little, whatever that is.

Webbed, yeah. Great question. I don't know. Because how else, I would think it has to be exit of mouth. Yeah. Is where you would start. So I did, no, I did from, you can't be, that thing can't be four inches from, from the exit of his mouth. I don't know, man.

I know. The whole thing's freaking me out. Yeah, I get two and a half inches from the, from like the little webbed dealy. Kim can get a full three, but not the point nine. She can do three, though. I don't know how why. I sworeb, please come back and record clips for us.

She has a crazy long tongue. Jamie, please. Jamie, come on. I'm going to get Kim to stick it out on camera so people can see how long her tongue is. She's that Jean Simmons level tongue. he's got. Anyway, so this guy is now painting. He's using his most unique body muscle to paint. His name is

Nick Stolburl. It was awarded the World Record for the tongue length. Male edition. I guess they have a break for male or female. Sure. Sure. Yeah. It was officially measured at 3.97 inches. Oh, here it is. Tip to teeth. Tip to teeth. That's an interesting. Okay. Hold on. Now we've got a little way to do it.

All right. This is some good, here's some good gift material. Better get you Screenshots ready here. I can't do it. I have a short tongue. This is tough to do because I'm laughing so hard. I know. It's hard.

Oh, that's not good at all. One and a half inches from tip to teeth. Okay. So then that three point, whatever, that's impressive outside of it. Back teeth or front teeth? Yeah, good point. I assume they mean exit teeth, front teeth, but they don't actually say here. Let's see.

Wow. He's, uh, he's, so he wraps his tongue and plastic wrap and then dips it in paint and then draws on a canvas. Uh, he's selling his paintings for about $1,200 bucks. So get on it, I guess. You know what? Good for him and, uh, one and a half inches for me or two inches for me. I could do some pointillism, which would be just fine.

Oh, a lot of, a lot of great pointillist artists out there and, uh, oh, here's a video of his length. I'm sorry, of his tongue length. Look at, oh, geez. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. He does have a long list.

long. If you click that link and then do the video, that is a beast. Okay. Where is he painting now? Dang. I mean, just the, just the thumbnail image of it. These paintings are terrible, though. Oh, my gosh. Wow. Okay. That's a lot. He can, he can untie his tie his tie with his tongue. Shut up.

Look at that. I mean, if you look at like where it is in relation to his collar and his tie, he can totally do it. Oh, that's foul. something about long tongues freak me out yeah it's demonic or something I don't know what it is yeah it is like it's very pointed oh yeah very pointed flat yeah yeah he's all about um you know picking up jewelry and stuff with it yeah I'm sure I have no idea uh well there's that we're gonna take a break when we come back my sister Wendy he can pull muscles from the shell that's right he can uh we're gonna we're gonna have Wendy back here in a minute we're gonna talk about some stuff I got a quick follow up for it and then discussion

about something called attachment theory, which I'm very curious to learn about. So we're going to do that here in a moment. Before that, though, song break. Brian has a song. What do you got? This is, what a great name for a band. The band is called Daydream Review. So not just Daydream, but Daydream Review.

He's a psych pop artist, goes by that name. He's got a brand new single that just came out yesterday. Whoa. This is so good. His debut LP is called Leisure. It's due out April 7th via Side Hustle Records. Big thanks to Lee over at. side hustle for hooking me up with this one. Daydream review, going to be live in Chicago

this winter and spring, so make sure you go check them out. Here is the brand new single called No Eternity. Deep Lee's sweetly made in the wheel and skislea landings, I can't see, I'm laid in the landscapes, I can't seem to reach no names all the inferences

no eternity blind over me believe I know uh mhm

uh uh Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, oh, uh,

yeah, and uh, oh, uh, uh, and, uh,

uh, uh, I'm going to be able to be. I'm going to be. This is a great. Oh, you're I'm trying to

you. I don't know if you're going to be able to my life. Oh, I'm not a lot of you know, uh,

yeah, uh, yeah, and uh, I'm not really. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a dream. I'll give a damn what your orders are, Colonel. There's no need for a fight here. Besides, they've got women and children with them. Nothing they can do but surrender.

My orders from General Connor are explicit. I'm not to accept surrender on any terms, and I'm to kill every hostile over the age of 12. You lied to me, Kane. A phenomenon that had to happen when the TV set married the computer. I love whatever it is I'm talking about on this show. This is the morning's dream. And we've returned.

Tell me who that was again, because that was rad. That was good. Yeah, I'll tell you. The song is called No Eternity. That is from an artist who goes by Daydream Review. The brand new album is coming out April 7th called Leisure. But that's just going to give you a little. taste with your long tongue, a little taste of what the rest of the album sounds like.

Very nice. I loved yesterday's track. Middle track. Yeah. It was really good. You're going to like this one too. I mean, I know you just heard it, Scott. Oh yeah, just heard it. But when you listen to it again later, you're really going to like it. Yeah, really. The second time is really the time. All right. Hey, look everybody. What do we got right here? That's right. My sister Wendy is here and with us again. Hi, Wendy. Hi, I'm good, I'm good. For those who are maybe new to this, this is how it works. Wendy's an actual therapist, all right?

Not just my sister. She's like a therapist who helps people all the time with their real problems. And she comes on the show, slums it down here with the low folk, all right, and helps us with our problems. How about that? How about them apples? That's pretty good to have you here. Hey, by the way, I'm visiting Mom Sunday. Anything you need me to do or take or say or anything like that?

You've got any special message you'd like me to pass on that you don't give her a real. Just say hi. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have anything you wanted to say to John? Say, John, hey, you grumpy old fart. What's going on? Like that?

No, say that. That was my second thing. Great. No. Great. Now, that's exciting. You can drive. There's snow in your way.

Yeah, if the roads are okay. I mean, right now we have four feet of snow. It's not melting yet. The roads are being cleared. I assume by Sunday things will be in pretty good shape. But I have no idea. I hope we, I hope it works. Yeah. I don't know. This snowman. The snowman? Anyway, hey. Snow man.

Snow man. So we had, you know, this storm was on its way to us and they were talking about it. There'll be the third biggest snowstorm in the history of the Twin Cities. And everybody battened down the hatches. My kids were off school for two straight days. Pre-storm. My mind. Oh, that was just preparing for the storm and they were off school? Because it was two years ago, I think. or a year or whatever, I don't know, not a COVID year, but they made a call a little late because you just don't cancel school ever in Minnesota for snow because that would be every day, right? Or, you know, whatever.

But they just made a call a little late and kids were stuck on buses everywhere and kids didn't get home until 9 p.m. So it was not great. So now they're a little, you know, quick to the thing. So this thing was supposed to be huge. And it is so like, like, I don't know, eight, I don't know, maybe two inches.

It's like not a big deal. And I'm like, wait a minute. This is the problem with weather. We can only predict it so far. You know what makes me resent all that is in growing up, there's always a lot of snow here in Utah. We have snow in Salt Lake City anyway. You're up in the north.

I never once had a school snow day. All of K through 12, never. Not even when I was taking college courses. Did I ever like have a day? where it was like, oh, the snow's too bad, nobody can come in. Like, never had a snow day. I'm pretty sure you did. Oh, I did.

My junior year wasn't the most snow like any and everyone's seen. Yeah. It was one of my favorite days of my life. Yeah, and Carter, same deal. She never had a snow day. Wow. All her school life. Yeah.

I just got unlucky. The big snows happen either during holidays, off times, a weekend. Or like you're an adult. Yeah, or I'm an adult. Yeah, it's so stupid. I got robbed as a kid. Everyone dreams of a snow day. I never got one.

Yeah, it's so great. Like, you know, my kids are not dreaming of it because they're out snow blowing. They're snow blowing, yeah. What's good? There's snow blowing. That's what's great about having three boys. Just put them on. Yeah, they love it.

They're like, how about don't gender stereotype me, mom, and make me do physical labor outside. And they're like, too bad. You're all I got. They're all right. Sister is an administration position. Don't worry about it. You guys get out there and get it done. All right.

Well, it's good to have you here. I'm going to read a quick follow up from last week. week just to, you know, we like feedback about what we previously talked about. And here's a quick one from Luke in Boulder, Colorado. He says, I wanted to comment on J.H.'s email during Wendy's segment today, and this was last week. My buddies and I started a podcast in early 2020, and we got a whopping 20 downloads per episode if we were lucky. But we're 70 episodes in, and we keep going because we like hanging out with each other, and we're proud of the content we put out. We like the process of podcasting, and that's good

enough for us, says Luke. So I think, yeah, as a follow-up, you know, obviously everybody's goals are different, but I think that's a healthy approach unless you have a broader strategy that, you know, might include investment and other things to get your name out there. So, you know, it's a healthy way to look at it. Or maybe the thing I was trying to scratch out a little bit last time of like maybe what else is actually going on for you, right? Like right hey who cares if people don't watch or i don't need the money i just love hanging out with my buddies like you found the thing you get from it versus and it makes you do it right like we're going to record our voices so it feels like an obligation like you know everyone wants to be

hanging out with their buddies but they don't why well there's no actual reason to you have to just make it happen so having that kind of extra obligation is great but for this guy the email or yeah the like I have some email, I, my sense of just like your identities on the line a little bit. Right, right. There's a much deeper thing. And so, you know, yeah, it may be a healthier attitude like Colorado is saying. But is that, is it really, I mean, you got to look at what you're actually needing out of something. I mean, people, and this actually will lead into what we're going to talk about a little bit today, but just, you know, that question of what do I, like getting a little more curious about what do I need?

from this and it's a couple layers in usually it's usually like well i gotta pay the bills and that is yes a thing but i got to pay the bills in a way that will make my father who is never proud of me proud of me yeah is a really different thing yeah or whatever you know sure sure well it's interesting so there we go yeah appreciate the follow up thank you luke uh always sure good now we're going to dive into something you call attachment theory I'm the only one Yeah you're the only one It's a brand new thing

Wendy came up with You refer to the you've dubbed Attachment term New That's not true So what does it mean Like I'm gonna guess Can I guess what it means?

Yeah Have you never heard of this? Never heard of it until you said it And that's why it jumped out of me Because it sounded like It'd be interesting to talk about So attachment theory Can I say something real quick

I have this problem all the time Where I assume everyone knows everything I know Is that weird? That is weird No Yeah, I think it's weird. Have you come up with a name for that, Wendy? It's some kind of, for sure everyone knows this.

And it's weird and not helpful to, I mean, I don't know. Sometimes I'm like, I don't know. Like, you don't know that? And I'm like, oh, you haven't spent 20 years in therapy sessions like I have? Exactly. Yeah, I think we all do that to some degree. There's part of our life that we know better than we realize and we assume that everybody else knows this.

Like, how does Scott not know what attachment there is? This is weird. It's like with Kim, she doesn't, you know, I assume she knows stuff about tech, like deeper issues with tech technology than she does and annoys her to no end that I assume that. And then she looks at me like, I don't know that. And then I'm like, oh, why do you know that? And then she's like, well, don't ask me why I don't know that. And of course I don't know.

Nobody knows that. And I realize, yeah, she's right. A lot of people probably don't know that. So I think we all do it. You're right, Brian. All right. Let me make a guess here. Attachment theory.

So it's a theory. You got that just from the name? Yeah, about attachment. Okay, it's going to have something to do with parents and kids and there, why they get too attached or not detached enough as they grow older and that this is somehow about that. Yeah, dependence or something is how this is really. You're doing good. Okay. You're doing good.

Okay. Well, let's let's, let me start with this. I've got a few. got a few British clients and they are fun and they're a particular their particular breed I hear they need extra therapy yeah they kind of do and they definitely have not gotten enough and they've had to leave their island and find other places to conquer in order to be okay so anyway no and it's a fun theme sometimes because as I'm talking about whatever Sometimes like, hey, you need to communicate more or have you shared that feeling?

They're always just like, listen to American. Do you do it differently? And I'm like, I know, but could you try it? Because, you know, stiff upper lip and whatnot, right? And so I find attachment theory, particularly fascinating. The history of its discovery is interesting because everybody who studied attachment theory and kind of came up with it. John Bolby is kind of the most famous one name-wise that you might, you wouldn't have heard of. Mary Ainsworth, some others. Anyway, British folks, and I find it amazing that, you know,

the people who are going to study attachment styles between a child and their caregiver are going to be British kids who were sent off to boarding school at age five, right? And maybe didn't get all. And I am obviously very much stereotyping. There's plenty of warm, very attached British families. It's just the ones I get to see, maybe not so much. Anyway, so these researchers were looking at, and I don't know if you guys know the history of, we may have talked about this before,

but just kind of the early understanding of psychology, just sort of, you know, Freud had a huge impact on how people thought about different things and a very common older generation was, you know, kind of that kids are to be seen, not heard deal. Yeah. And what do kids need was definitely not in the zeitgeist. It was like, well, get big enough so you can

help me at the farm, right? Like, it was not, what is their psychosocial emotional well-being like? And so there's some old stories and studies of, you know, how orphanages were run. And there's one

in particular, I want to say it was in Hungary or Romania. I'm getting it. the country wrong where these kids were just dying in these orphanages these young babies were dying and there was no disease

they couldn't figure out what was wrong and what it was is they were being cared for physically they had food and they were clothed and their diapers were changed but they were not being held

and they were not having any kind of attachment developed between any kind of caregiver and failure to thrive essentially and would die and so you know modern psychology is like

oh we should pay attention to that what's happening and so some of these early attachment theorists theorists were looking at how this works and how someone bonds how from a very young age the bonding that takes place between a caregiver and a child and how that attachment through that caregiver can look and so they studied in lots of different ways and so you may have heard of this it's a pretty famous kind of initial one of these studies that have determined some different types of attachment. So we'll go into the attachment styles. But what the study was is they take, you know, however many caregivers, most of them were mothers, and they bring them in with a child that's about a year or less into, you know, a room. And there's toys kind of further away from

where the mother and the child are sitting. And then they observe. And, you know, of course, figure out who these families are and what's going on and that type of thing, but also just observed what happens and how the child reacts to certain stimuli. So, and they saw a bunch of different things. And what we call a secure attachment would look like this, would look like a child gets set down and wanders off to go kind of see the toys, but would look back to mom to see if it was okay and see that that was fine and then further explore. And then we'd back and check in, and then maybe go find something else to play with or explore. So the idea of secure attachments starts with this idea of is safe enough to then explore

and take some risks, right? Yeah. So you can imagine a child that just is, that's what they're doing. That's a pretty, that's the most common type of attachment is secure. Right. I don't know all the numbers, but, you know, it's supposed to be 60% of people have secure attachments, maybe a little more than that. And so that's how that would look and they were able to sort of see that. Okay. So then then you'd also have a kid who, and I need to real quick say a caveat. If you have a child doing any of these things right now, this does not mean your kid's broken and you're broken and you've done everything wrong, not at all. Because kids' development of these attachments can vary at time and can get better and change and do different things. And those styles can show.

shift a little bit, but what we found is you can kind of really see an initial style showing up in these early years. So this is before we even use the word postpartum depression or understood that women had souls. So let's be clear. We blame them all this time for things, not recognizing that, hey, maybe they weren't okay in these child raising moments. And so some of that might be evident in some of these attachment styles. So mom's really depressed and can't, you know, look a child in the aisle and I meet its needs because she's not functioning. You know, that kid's going to have a different response to that, that caregiver than

the kid who gets a caregiver who's mirroring back, you know, safety, warmth, and you're all good, right? Right. Okay. So that's one of the attachments is secure. Any guesses you want to just throw out names of what you think the other attachment styles are? Oh, geez. like protection maybe um oh geez like secure imagine little kids you've seen before what what happens when they're in a public place and mom sets them on the floor and or dad sets them on the floor and

they they don't just wander off and explore yeah they just like uh cling to your leg and crying yeah exactly yeah so so anxious anxious is another attachment style um and anxious ambivalent is kind of a common word for those being together. But take that idea of being anxiously attached. So not quite sure mom's going to leave you or not, right? Not sure the world's safe. I got to make sure my home base is safe. And so kids will do that and not ever leave, you know, their mother's home. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Right. Yeah. And then then you have a disorganized and that can be kind of they're a little bit all over the map, right? Yeah.

And I'm not quite sure. And then maybe throwing a tantrum, you know, doing various, various things showing it's disorganized. And then the final one is avoidant. And avoidant is kind of fearful avoidant. There's two of these. Actually, there's like a dismissive avoidant. Like the kid just wanders off and never looks back.

Mm-hmm. And then a fearful avoidant can be more of the upset and don't really trust. that this is a safe thing, right? Okay. So they kind of come up with these four categories, five categories, and they start postulating like, oh, humans need to feel securely attached because what happens in adulthood, you know, they go on to have many relationships. So our first human two-person relationship is with our caregiver, right? Yeah. And so, you know, how does that then lead to different attachment styles later on? And so the theory goes, is not that you are destined from being a one-year-old all away till now.

Oh, by the way, I should have given you the time stamp for this is the 1950s. Oh, everyone's favorite weird time of development, yes. Exactly. And you're thinking 1950s, didn't we hug children then? No, we did not. We got boomers for a reason. No, I'm just kidding. Yeah, so that is the, like, that was kind of the time frame here.

Okay. All right. So then the idea here is that the primary goal of a human infant is to maintain proximity to the caregiver for survival reasons. Right. And so the question is always, am I safe? Am I going to survive? And it's very visceral and primal at that very young age. Right. And so you can see these things happening, right? And then as they grow older, and this is where people get interested. And this is why I thought we could talk about it. today is they may be experiencing certain kinds of things in their relationships and they don't maybe have a name for what's happening. So let's come up with an example of maybe you've been in a relationship like this with somebody or you are that that is your attachment style or like you can imagine, I mean, maybe there's a good movie example of showing an insecure attachment. They don't text right away. They don't reassure you all the time that there's still still with you, you know, you're, you sort of panic if certain signs you think might be there

when the other person's like, oh, you know, that song I'm thinking of is where she talks in her sleep. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Or just that idea of like, what are you talking about? We're fine. And the person's like, we're not fine. So that's an example of an anxious attachment. Yeah. And, and it really has been demonized because it is, it feels it's hard, right? Right? It's clinging. This person needs lots of reassurance, et cetera.

And it usually goes borderline to jealousy and stocking and stuff like that. Right. So we all have a bit of it like, ooh, don't be that. But then maybe all of us have experienced just a little bit of it. And it's often because we are not actually secure in that relationship. It isn't healthy or the person does certain behaviors that are kind of create that lack of stability. Like, you know, it's always like, are we dating other people? vibe like the thing you need to ask, you know, might be that happening. So a way to think about it is that we're sort of unconsciously expect our partners, romantic partners, particularly to act as our parents did. Yeah. Right? Uncertain or certain. You're saying that's not

healthy? Weird. Weird. Yeah. No. And so what? There's some studies. One study showed that women score higher on the anxiety and the anxious kind of more attachment and men tend to score higher on the avoidance. That isn't always true, of course. The gender differences are kind of small, but it really has an impact. And often those two will find each other, regardless of, you know, gender identity. There is a, often an avoider and anxiety, anxious attachment that come together. And you think of the magic that that is. Oh, yeah. Right? I will have. avoid and you will get more anxious and you know that sort of keeps happening right um and so disorganize

it i'll just say one quick thing about that can often in an adult just look like in children it'll look fearful avoidance like ah i don't know what's happening and as an adult it could just be like show up as totally avoidant but there's a a big fearful component there and not really maybe wanting closeness but can't, you know, so it gets, can get a little bit messy. So when people come along and they're like describing their relationship and they've never heard of this concept before, sometimes it can be really helpful to just identify that. And I know Pop Psychology is like, diagnose yourself and then now this explains everything. And then what do I do with it?

Like I get that that this could definitely, you know, fall into one of these categories where you're like, okay, those explains my whole life. And then what do I do about it? Because it's really difficult on your own to think, I'm just going to fix my attachment style. I'm just going to be secure here. Right. And so it can feel hard, but on one hand, really like having a clue about it has been really helpful for a lot of people. They're like, oh, I'm anxiously attached. That explains this response I have. Oh, my partner is definitely avoidant attached. So, you know, they say they still love me and they don't know what I'm freaking out about, but I just feel like I'm on alert all the time. And so when I work

with a couple and we can kind of identify the strategies they use to maintain attachment, and then we can work on how to destigmatize the anxiously attached one and figure out what has kept the insecure or sorry, the avoidant attached one avoiding. Like we know kind of where to go

with that. So does this all tie into why a lot of people, I don't know if I don't want to speak for everybody, but it feels like a lot of men have trouble

with this, with their fathers later. Like less of an issue when they're young and harder when they're older. And I have a theory as to why that feels that way. Do you know what

Freud's theory is first? Oh, please. What is it? It's, uh, you've, you had sex with your aunt or something? What is that? You're competing for the sexual, the sexual attention of your mother. Oh, sure. Yeah, of course it was. Just kidding. Okay. Keep going. What were you saying? Anyway, so my point is like, you know, I'll, I'll see stuff Nick does. And I just feel like I have to bite my lip because I'm like, uh, because I'd been through it and I know the outcome, but I also know he needs to figure it out on his own. And so I feel a little bit like standoffish with him.

And I think he may see that and interpret that as me detaching for lack of, or avoiding, right? Yeah. Yeah. Because I did that with dad. I definitely felt that. And I've talked to a lot of people who have that kind of thing with their fathers. Again, it might be moms too. I don't know.

But it just feels like this is all I know. So this is where I'm coming from. But is that a thing? And is it tied to this? And just why is it so much weirder when you're older than when you're younger, it's all like weird stuff with your mom. But when you get older, it's all. It feels like it's all stuff with your dad. Yeah.

And everyone's going to be different in how this plays out because it could happen like in multiple directions. I would say the probably core common element there is communicating, right? And so maybe there's a different communication aptitude between one of the parents and that child. And maybe having never dealt with the feeling you're having. you don't then know how to approach the kid and say, hey, this is my stuff, not your stuff.

And like figuring it out together, right? Like that would be the advanced version, an emotionally advanced version is that we have built a communication strategy that I'm aware of my stuff going on here and I can reach out to you and not make it about you. You know, like might take out your own garbage concept, right?

Right. And so, but then having the ability to translate. those into words and come to a place where there's an understanding and a safety when you don't have the words and you don't have the practice of that often it can just be avoiding is definitely easier right um stepping back or whatever it can definitely be easier and and maybe if we if if the mom is better at it it might be just she is unable to sort of handle that feeling of separation and so will move towards the child to get the reconciliation.

And it really is a skill set. And I think that's what's fun when you sort of study and think in terms of attachment theory and styles is it's about essentially easing the experience in your body, soothing your internal freeze, fight, I'm not okay vibes, and learning how to manage those so that you can move towards someone rather than away from them or moving towards them like a train in order to try to feel comfortable. It's more of your own work within you, right? So everyone's going to vary in their capacity to do this. And some people have to really heal from some things that have wounded them and made them not

safe. I also think some kids are just born screaming unattached a little bit. Like it's really hard to think it's just 100% like, oh, that 18 months, first 18 months back. mattered 100%, you know, like I think some of it is just a tendency. So take, for example, a kid who just has as more sort of baseline emotionally needy or needs more physical touch or just needs you closer for security reasons. And it's born to a parent that's like, okay, don't touch me anymore or I need some space or, you know, like, and that's where these generational things kind of get interesting. It's like, what are the style? So if we did like your family tree. What's the attachment styles of various family members and going back to great

grandparents? And of course, when no one ever talked about any of this stuff, like, what are you watching? Because I think you can perpetuate some of the challenges that come with, you know, my dad was kind of there, but never spoke to me. But I know he loved me because he worked hard. Yeah. You know, can feel like a real disconnect because we don't have skills in words and getting to a particular place. I remember when Grandpa Ward and grandma, well, I guess she was just grandma. What do we call her?

Because we called him Grandpa Ward for some reason. She was just Grandma. Okay, she was just Grandma. But anyway, my grandparents on my mom's side, those two hardly said anything at anything. I mean, Grandma was vocal, but it was never like that kind of vocal. And Grandpa Ward just sat in that chair and stared at everybody.

He never said anything. felt like and i always wondered about that and it wasn't like a problem growing up or anything but it just seems so odd to me that you'd have like 12 grandkids running around having fun giggling and whatever and you just sit there on that pipe and not move and not say anything and just sit there and watch them and be like yep that's what's happening and i realize like you know now i think there's some of this right there's a generational like thing yes huge yeah and i just you know So remember, in 1950, when your grandparents were 40 years old, was the first time we thought kids had feelings.

Yeah. So that explains it a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, sometimes people will say, oh, man, kids these days. And yeah, the pendulum has swung pretty far, right? Yeah. And maybe a little far in that, you know, we center kids' feelings a little too much.

and then parents who need to be the security and structure might fall apart, right? And so maybe that swung a little far. But, man, we needed to swing if, you know, in 1950 we're like, we should touch the children every once in a while. You know? Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They need. Right.

Now we're like, now we've got to eat their placentas. You know. We just put a quarter and send them down to the grocery store of by themselves an apple. Exactly. That's funny. We went since 60 years. We went from, I probably should pat him on the head once in a while. to I'm going to eat the placenta from the birth.

That's hilarious to me. It is a, that's a big jump. It's a jump. And it comes from, it comes from that, some of that core feeling of neglect. And I tease about the boomers, but honestly, they came from parents who didn't maybe meet some needs. And man, if they showed us how they're compensating. And then they raise kids and like everybody is doing some wing from what their parents did to some extent. I mean, you wonder if the next.

next generation of kids, just like, I'm not touching my kids. My parents smothered me or whatever it might be, right? Like, that is very human to fluctuate a little bit here. But at least we understand more about the brain and we understand more about, you know, security of a child because ultimately what happens, and this is why we all love the secure attachment style, I want to de-stigmatize the anxious attachment because that is not that you are a bad person. We have a lot of labels for that, right?

and we're critical of that. But the truth is, it's a safety factor. And if we can increase safety for people psychologically and emotionally, that stuff just calms right down. It is not a disease. You don't have control over whether or not you feel safe in an environment and need to 100%. 100%.

And your system is wired around something. So, you know, let's raise you in a war zone and, you know, then spend the rest of your life. Yeah, trying to soothe your nervous system when it is, wired to be reactive, right? So we need to be kind for sure. So let's talk about what secure attachment looks like and you can see why people want this, right? And I mean, I do like the number. It is most people because sometimes I'm like, nobody is securely attached. And that's not true. They are. But let me describe it for you. Okay. So a sign of secure attachment style is the ability to regulate your emotions. Easily trust others, effective communication.

ability to seek emotional support, comfortable being alone, comfortable in close relationships, ability to self-reflect in partnerships, being easy to connect with, ability to manage conflict well, high self-esteem, ability to be emotionally available. So you hear that and you're like, I want all those. Yeah, it was awesome. Very nice. Right. Right.

And then how that shows up in relationships is if you grow up feeling secure emotionally and physically, then you can just engage with others in sort of a healthy way. and your partners' intentions don't seem, you know, you're not looking for, oh, they're jealous or they're angry at me or they're about to slap me or, you know, whatever. They just feel worthy of love and work it out when things go wrong. Like it's ideal from a relationship perspective because there isn't all the extra stuff you're dealing with. Right.

So if you're hearing this and you're like, oh, I don't like myself, I don't manage conflict well, I can't ever seem to self-reflect when I'm with a partner. It's not until afterwards, I can't be alone. I can't be with people. You know, like you're finding like all the ways that you're like, this, humans are terrible. Then your attachment style might be at the core of some of this. And, you know, that's where working with somebody to figure out sort of where the wounds have been

and healing from those wounds. can do a lot to let your body rewire a little bit and your mind rewire about what is safe and what is not not safe. And that's why you'll find like, you know, movies will show this or you know, you can find it in any good book, right? Someone finds the person that completes them and quotes really just settles their nervous system. Yeah, that's really it. Because that person is often securely attached and then can, securely attached people are contagious. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. And so you can really help a relationship by finding somebody who's securely attached. However, it's real tough when you're super attracted to the person who's going to run away from you. Yeah. If you're, if you're anxious and vice versa. Right. Oh, see, that makes so much more sense about a whole lot of people I know. I hadn't really thought of it in these terms of this, this, this, this, uh, lens. But this is, this is revealing. Right. Not name a names or anything, people. I'm just saying. I know some people. I'm not going to name names. If I were to name names, those names. would be the following list.

Sorry. What, Wendy? What are you going to say? Yeah, I was going to just go into, I mean, if you're interested, we could go into some of the, because I just described the one everybody wants, but we could go a little more in depth in the sort of avoidant and anxious if you're interested. All right. Let's take the emotionally, the distant avoidant, you know.

Yeah. Style. Okay. It can be, it's called avoidant or dismissive avoidant. right um you can be anxiously avoiding there's all we can add words right here but basically the idea is you're you're basically your relationship long-term relationships are defined with you know your inability to engage in physical and emotional intimacy so you know you see people saying like i need to date someone who's emotionally available yeah right so notice you can still date

someone who's emotionally not available that means they're somehow available some part of them is available but there's definitely things you're not going to get to because they're not going to they don't know how to get there they don't know how to share that they or they won't right so often this we can find this this will happen from someone who had very strict or emotionally distant or absent caregivers so you can have a variety of parents create the same outcome of they're just emotionally distant maybe all your needs are met physically but just emotionally not so or just Straight up absent, not around. And too strict will do this.

Right? And that's because you're not actually emotionally integrated in a relationship. There's just the rules and the right way and all of that and not. And no time for love. No time for love. Yeah. And I say this all the time. And I think this applies here is like the role of parenting was the most important thing,

not the relationship of parenting. And so that strictness and that. It creates that distance. Okay. And also it could be just that they expect you to be independent or if you depended on them, you were in trouble for that. You got rejected if you expressed your needs or emotions and then maybe they were slow to respond to like some basic needs. So what that teaches you as a kid is my needs are not going to be said out loud, right? because I will, I have to protect myself from them being avoid, or, you know, sorry, being denied or ridiculed or getting in trouble for having needs.

Right. Right. Right. So, yeah. And that can be from a down, you know, like an outright neglectful parent all the way to just like a busy parent who's just kind of disinterested. Yeah. Okay. So then you just get real independent so you don't have to rely on support from anyone

else yeah right super easy yeah yeah no problem just turn that leaf you're good yeah right and then and then as adults there you know their relationship relationships tend to be at arm's length um they just have no idea how how to go deeper there's there's just never been any kind of safe practice to do that yeah both i mean they're romantic relationships and they're they're parenting their own kids yeah same kind of thing And kids are a really great way to activate your attachment style deficits because they require you to attach. And some people, I mean, it does. It does. And I think, I mean, Scott in our case, I've analyzed our parents' attachment styles a little bit.

And I think dad came from a very detached father and that he was leaps and bounds better. Oh, yeah. He was, he was that weird, rare, you know, the chain breaker. The chain breaker, yeah. Especially for the males. And I think a big influencing factor was that his mom was very gentle and a very attachment based, you know, for someone who doing. Especially with him. Like, yeah. Whatever reason. Very gentle and very. And so I think that, you know, that created some of that resilience that maybe wouldn't have come otherwise, right? Okay. So any questions about the avoidance? No. I don't make sense to me. I get it. Especially the anxiety one, which I did not know existed either. These are all new terms, but they all make sense now that you describe them. Yeah. So the anxious attachment style, this is what most people get excited to talk about because the avoidant ones, we all just say, oh, they're emotionally unavailable and then they turn on the TV. You know, it's not like they aren't texting you all night and making you, you know, whatever. But the anxious attachment style tends to get more attention. And there's two different ones, an anxious ambivalent and anxious pre-occupied. So the core characteristics of this kind of attachment is the fear of rejection of abandonment,

needing that partner for validation and emotional regulation, like I was saying before, and really shows a lot of codependency tendencies. So we have a clinical pathological term for a severe case of attachment, anxious attachment style, and that's borderline personality disorder. we've literally given it a name and a lot of stigma BPD baby who people love that one yeah when really what you know there there's there's almost a D personalization that occurs the codependency is so strong I am nothing without this person um and the fluctuating between they're all good or all bad I mean there's it's more complicated than just anxious

attachment but that really is at its core um okay so let's talk about how how you get anxious attachment. And it comes from inconsistent parenting that is not attuned to the kids need at all. So basically, the child has a difficulty understanding their caregivers has no security for what to expect from them in the future, doesn't understand what happened in the past, often gets confused, you know, just by their parents' different relationships, whether it's their marriages or friendships or something, and just feels unstable. Yeah. And so they have high distress when their caregivers leave.

And, you know, sometimes the parents will be supportive and responsive to the child's needs. And then at other times, not, which adds to this, like, it works. It doesn't work. It works. It doesn't work. Just alternating. And that's pretty problematic. So that would look like from a parent standpoint doing this, it would be overly coddling and then detached and indifferent, right?

It would also that the parent is easily overwhelmed. So the kids are sort of observing this just mood fluctuation. Yeah. And suddenly my parent is out of control. They feel out of control. And that makes everything feel out of control. And then that similar attentive sometimes and push your way to others.

And then here's probably the kicker is parent making a child feel responsible for how they feel. So these kids grow up thinking they're supposed to take care of other people's feelings. Right. And so in order to do that, you've got to be close, you've got to be observant, you've got to be reading every single sign that's ever out there. And I'm not okay unless that person's okay. So people pleasers are like, you know, if we had a spectrum here, codependent, all the way

to, you know, borderline personality disorder, you know, you have a spectrum here of, I got to make sure everyone's happy. I'm taking care of everyone in this room. this stranger needs me to make them feel good, you know, like two, you know, pretty extreme. Yeah. How come we have these, why, like borderline personality disorder or autism or whatever, there's always, it's always a spectrum, but we all like to have it in these little black and white holes, don't we?

We like to be able to go, well, that guy's got borderline personality disorder. That guy's not even borderline. He's got a personality disorder. and it's like here's the here's the chunk chunk chunk of these things you have instead it's not that it's this granular huge thing like autism is so vast and so different between two you know cases of it that the trying to narrow it down to one name is just so futile i don't know why we have to do that as humans oh we do that because the history of how some how this developed applies which is that um you know, the diagnostic manual of mental disorders gets written, and it gets written by a bunch of dudes. Yeah.

And again, in the 50s, discovered children need love, right? Like, it's a developmental process of, like, what you've learned over time, and things have shifted and changed and how we do that. But we also have the insurance company modeled that in order to help anyone, we have to get paid to do that. So then we have to decide what is worthy of treating. And so we treat stuff based on that. Exactly.

And the treatment, you know, may not be, it definitely wouldn't be the same for case A and case B. But knowing that, all right, it's autism. We start with this, this macro level of treatment. And then we can kind of fine tune it once we've identified that and go down to the specific person. Yes. And so, so that was a much generous, more generous version of my history. But it's just like this idea of like, we got to know how to categorize this. We don't have to know how to pay it, pay for it.

We need to know all these things. But in the end, it's just so pathologizing. Like that is our, the modern, at least American medical model is we will treat pathology. We will not, you know, work on someone thriving. And so, you know, there are codes and different things you use for different things to be covered. And some of the stuff that isn't so serious doesn't get paid for. And then other things, you know, we have to wait until it's really bad for it to be paid for. sometimes, you know, medical stuff can be similar.

Anyway, but yes, that idea is, Brian is exactly right, is, hey, someone presented in somebody's office like this at one point and we started to figure out like, oh, what is this, trying to understand it and then how to treat it. So it does just help you know. And sometimes people really just like a name. Like, tell me I have this thing. And then it explains some stuff and you can feel like you have more knowledge and then you have more power.

And that, you know, that's, that's the good reasons that we do it. The hard thing is, you know, certain things get stigmatized because they're harder for us to deal with, right? So someone who is anxiously attached and we have words. They're clingy. They're highly sensitive to criticism. They need approval. Like, we don't like that, right? We don't like that because it's asking a lot of us or it triggers maybe it triggers me because I don't ever get to ask for what. what I need. So why does this person asking constantly? So when we're triggered, and we should do a whole episode just about how to manage triggers. Oh, we should do a trigger episode because it's so over, that term gets used in so many dumb flippant ways. I would love to like barrel down on that. And yet it is the perfect description of what is happening internally is a flip gets switched and you don't actually know where it comes from or why you don't, you just get reactive to the flip being switched. Anyway, so that would be a fun one.

But so these folks can be really triggering for us for a variety of reasons that we usually just avoid them because of that. And here we are in our vicious cycle, right, of avoiding someone who needs connection. And so, okay, so let me just do a quick thing of like the signs if you have an anxious attachment style is clingy tendencies, sensitive to criticism, needs approval, jealous, tendencies, difficulty being alone, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy of love, intense fear of rejection, significant fear of abandonment and difficulty trusting others. You can see some of the crossover, right? Because in the end, you're being taught from a young age if you're

lovable, safe, and at risk of being rejected. And self-esteem grows from some of that core stuff. And so when that has been messed with in some form for some reason, sometimes it's just because of the parents going through a particular thing at a particular time, a kid's personality and combo, it could be, you know, et cetera, et cetera. But it has a long-lasting effect. So the idea is you can have somebody help you with this. There are therapists who specialize in attachment theory. That's one of their core competencies and they will, you know, really help work with you to heal that childhood trauma or neglect or abuse or whatever it might be. And so I should say, I should be clear.

A lot of this can develop without there being quote unquote abuse, right? Sure, sure. But when, so I'm going to say one last thing. The disorganized attachment style is usually because of actual abuse, trauma, and neglect. And that's just, it's confused, and it's going to have all the things in it. And it's really difficult to trust. And often there's going to be other disorders going on with that. Right.

Okay. So anyway, yeah. So if this is resonating with anyone, there are people that specialize this. There's great books. There's tons of resources. You know, if you're like Scott, and this is the first time you're hearing these words, there's a plethora of things you can look into that might just help you understand yourself a little bit and end your relationship. If you've always thought, you know, he isolates and avoids and I have to chase him down and bang on the door.

You know, there's a little bit of a version here. and people can have some mixed bags here too maybe feel secure in some ways and not. But there is help to improve your relationships and to feel just more secure in your own body and your own nervous system too. Is that why it's called attachment theory and not attachment law?

Because it's just a lot of, there's a lot of wheelroom. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Well, and I mean, you take adoption or you take, you know, kids, the system usually really tries to keep families

together for this very challenging reason, right? Even though, you know, obviously attachment disorders can occur being with the dysfunction is just, it's cause a rift, rifts in kids as they develop and there's absolute consequences. Yeah. So it's, it matters. And a lot of people may just like, I don't know why I'm this way. And so maybe hearing this, thinking they can get some resources. might be helpful. I hope so. Yeah. I think so too. Let us know. And I think we should dig down into

the old trigger business next week. Let's make that a goal. This is what I would love. I would love if we could get a cannery of weapons, you know, my favorite term. A group of, like, different triggers that, like people, I don't know, is there a place for them to put this? Yeah, we could do it in Discord or so we can find, we'll make a thread in there or something. Yeah, a little thread where you're just like, what triggers you? And let's be clear what we mean by trigger. So it is a physiological response internally. So your chest gets tight. Your stomach drops or gets a little sick or anxiously, like, you know, your shoulders clench.

Your head suddenly pounds. Like you are having a bodily response to something. I'd love a list of that. Like that's how you know you're being triggered. So you want the responses, not the things that trigger you, but the things. No, no, no. I want them to gauge you. it based on that criteria and then they can list what it is that triggers them.

Sometimes you have to go the other direction. You're like, ooh, you know what always makes me mad when this person says I'm sorry, okay? Yeah. And you're like, why does it bug me so bad when Mary says sorry? Other people can say sorry and it doesn't bug me. So you have a like irritated like and you might feel it in your chest or your gut. Some people are really out of tune with how their body responds. So they may have no idea what I'm saying here.

That's okay. So just notice the thing that either makes you suddenly very angry or you're just irritated. But the key here is you don't really know why. You might think you'd sort of do, but you're just like, why can't I just stop reacting when Mary says I'm sorry? So that kind of thing. If we could just get like a nice list, I don't want to, I mean, it can be like, oh, when someone brings up politics, that's fine, but I don't care what the actual thing is so much as, you know, give us a thing and then it'd be interesting if people had just a like do you know why yes or no well so so for people who want to go check it out up on the i just did it on the morning stream

tms chatter group i created a thread uh which is it's almost like a separate uh place to type so it doesn't get lost in the in the mush and i basically asked you know what not only what triggers you but how do you how does your body body and your mind feel uh and i referenced the segment so A lot of people haven't heard this yet that are saying this and wait a minute what. But when you hear this and you'll know when you hear it, go over to that thread and add your thoughts. We'd love to hear what you think.

Yeah, because it'd be nice to see the range. And then we also might find that there's a lot of just common threads we all experience. And then the most fascinating question to me is the why. Yeah. Like, why does? So I'll give you why Mary, who's not a real person, but why when Mary says sorry. Yeah. And someone else says, sorry, why that would trigger somebody.

is that Mary is centering herself in your experience. Yeah. And someone else is like saying, oh, I'm sorry that I blank, blank when you're just like, what? No. But you're not thinking about it. Because suddenly social norms were required to go, yeah, I mean, it's okay. Yeah.

But something in you is like, this is off. Yeah. This is not okay. Yeah. And someone else says, sorry, and you feel like they have centered your pain instead of their own need to be a good person or something, and you feel very differently. It's, and this is, if we boil it down, it's like your gut reactions or some things going on there.

So, yeah, give us a nice list. And then we could talk about how it works and tackle it. And maybe Scott and Brian, we, one of you is our willing victim. Yeah, I'd be a victim. I don't mind. Nothing ever triggers me. No. Trigger free.

Brian is a trigger free zone. Find Brian's trigger. Never try. Yeah. Brian is like a gun. they can't fire. There's no trigger. That's right. Exactly. Loaded, but nothing to fire. Okay.

And as of several years ago, no bullets. That's right. Not effective bullets anyway, right? Let's keep it. Right. Yeah, exactly. Yes. Well, all right. Good. Yeah, no, this would be good. I look forward to it.

So that is in there. We already got Claire yapping about it. So we'll find out what she has to say. What doesn't trigger Claire? Well, she's Irish. She's fiery. You know, we can't control that. initiation of Irish names. That triggers me every time. I can't stand how you think we're all. We're all having potatoes over here.

It's triggering. Plus, that lucky charm. So I see a use every time you talk about things I say. Yeah, so she's got a lot to be triggered about. We'll find out more next week. Claire, I'm here for you. Yeah, she's here for you. And she's here to meet you in Vegas in a couple of months.

Oh, good. Oh, wow. Yeah, that'll be fun. Block out some time, Wendy. Yeah. Claire, real quick. When I respond with a terrible Irish accent, that I have a problem, I can't control. Yeah.

It's my, look. It won't sound Irish, but that's what I, my brain will be trying to do. Yeah. I apologize in advance. Don't feel bad. Don't feel bad. She's terrible. It's all good.

All right. Well, we'll do this again next week. Wendy, it's always good to having you. Realsteps.org, everybody, if you want to follow along with some of the cool stuff Wendy's doing. Yes. We, uh, next round starts March 6th, Monday. Oh, that's just around the corner.

Yeah. It is. It's going to be great. So sign up ASAP. Get in there. Uh, it's Wendy. Dunford. Wendy, have a good one. We'll see you soon. Okay, bye now.

Wow, geez. She doesn't just hang up. She puts the phone in a food processor, it sounds like. You know, you think I hang up fast? Wendy. Yeah. She's got it going on. Irish exit with her. That's an Irish exit. Oh, by the way, Carter taught me what a horror's bath is yesterday. Oh, yeah, armpits

I'd never heard this term and my daughter tells me for the first time with a horrors back because we were kind of bathing Rainer for her bandage change and just you know rubbing her down we got a little bit of this spray stuff that's antiseptic and that and she's got these wipes

she's doing her arms and stuff and she goes yeah it's like a little um it's a little horrors bath I'm like what are you even saying I've never even heard of that George Carlin had a old big thing about it he didn't call it a horse bath or sex workers bath bath is the appropriate term now but it's armpits, teeth, asshole, and something canal or so like that.

Oh, geez. All right. He had a whole thing. I have to seek that out. You don't need to take a shower. You just got to clean the teeth, armpits, asshole, and da-da-da. Whatever whatever it was. All right.

Well, that sounds, it's the cloudy cocktail. I'm sorry, TRPW. It's the worst thing. That's the worst thing I ever heard in my life. The worst thing I've ever heard. Oh, man. Old Souls, Pits, and Tets. I don't like it.

Well, anyway, on that note, let's get out of here. The TV's Travis, that's exactly it. Arm Pits asshole, crotch and teeth. That was exactly it. Oh, that was the thing? All right. That was it. Nicely done.

Check this out, y'all. I got another voicemail. You know, we asked for more voicemails, so this guy sent the thing. I do love it when we get them. Yeah. He sent this. Hey, Scott. This Jean from Brooklyn.

I heard that you would like to hear a voicemail. Well, I'm sorry. I'm not sending any voicemail. and prefer text. So sorry about that. Goodbye. All right. So that's his deal. That's all you get. That's all I get. That's all I get. Okay. Well, that's unfortunate. But, you know, you made a good point. Whatever. Send text or voice mails. I don't carry the way.

8.01-471-0462. Send us your emails, The Morningstream at gmail.com. We have got a few things coming up today. We should mention. Coverville today at 1, Brian. What's going on? Rihanna, fresh off of her Super Bowl performance. She turned the 35 this week. So it's time to finally get that umbrella and don't stop the music and stay. And yeah, all those. So anyway, a bunch of covers of Rihanna songs covered by folks that like, you know, usually don't hear covering stuff like this. So, you know, you expect your postmodern jukebox and your pompomous and stuff like that. But no, we're going to have The Baseball's Churches, McFly, and Lindsay Sterling covering, and Ellie Golding covering Rihanna today.

So that's a 1 p.m. Mountain Time. Utah's own Lindsay Sterling, sorry. That's right, with her and her violin. So that'll be at 1 p.m. Mountain Time, Twitch.tv.TV slash Coverville. And, of course, I will be playing some Marvel Snap during the whole shenanigan. Nice. Through the entire ordeal. By the way, so I learned something yesterday about how Rihanna.

says her own name. Check this out. Yeah. Let me play it. I have it right here somewhere. Hold on. Where's the volume on this thing? Oh, no.

Oh, my gosh, YouTube. What have you done? Hold on. Oh, I know why. I know why. You know what? That's dumb, YouTube. If you have it set so that other videos are low in volume, music or whatever,

all right, guys. There you go. And you forget to put it back to full. The shorts. will be low and you can't adjust them. What is the point of that? All right. Here we go.

And is it, now I heard, is it Rihanna or Rihanna? Rihanna. I say Rihanna, but Rihanna is still okay. I don't know why. So people say Rihanna. Rihanna. Yeah. It's like pasta.

Pasta or Mario. Yeah. I like it. It just feels so wrong calling you Rihanna. It sounds wrong, but she seems to be cool. The Pliwood next song is Rianan, not Rianan. That's true. That's the way to think about it, I guess.

Who said the reanimator in the chat? Who is that? The reanimator. BIOCAL. I love it. All right. So, yeah, Discoverville at 1. Don't forget also, there'll be a new skim today.

We'll probably talk about Leaky Roof, so that'll be fun. And brand new core tonight at 5 p.m. So check that out. I guess the connection tomorrow, as you mentioned. And not couch party. We're doing Playdate, right? Oh, play date tomorrow. Correct.

Yeah, end of month. This month came fast. Well, it's short. Cut it did. Yeah. And so, yeah, tomorrow. playing some more stuff from Jackbox and stuff like that. Normal time three, or do we do any different or what do you want to do there?

Well, if we do, I need to know early because I need to change the time we guess the connection because I usually do guess the connection now earlier. Actually, would not be a bad idea because there is a mammoth game tomorrow night. Hence, I don't know, hence why I'm wearing my mammoth shirt today. I have another. I have a whole stupid closet full of mammoth shirts. But so it would not hurt actually for us to do. because we started at two

Because we're always two hours on the games Whereas we're maybe an hour on couch party So maybe we'll help Let's start it two And then we're done it for And then I can go out with Crazy neighbor Because he wants to drink like a fish

Before we go see the mammoth Yeah I feel you And then I have to somehow Be coherent enough to talk about Stupid Liam Neeson movies Saturday morning on film sack Yeah Oh yeah

What's this one called? Non-stop Non-stop It's another airplane movie I've got a particular set of Peanuts Filmsack is a particular set of movies set on airplanes in a row It really is this month is all movies all the time

Yep so that'll be this weekend for that film sack So yeah tomorrow 2 p.m. Frogvance.TV if you want to be a part of the play date Okay, we're going to play the rest of the jackbox stuff So guess the connection will be an hour earlier than that so 1 p.m. for guest the connection And you can win I'll be adding a prize to this but this is the carryover prize from last time Mondoids. It is the Venom Mondoid right there. What's a Mondoid? I don't know what that is.

It's a little plastic toy that you, the head is separate from the body, but it looks like if our crumb drew venom, this is what it looks like. Didn't know I even needed that in my life. That's awesome. And you can exchange it. Like there's Thanos and Green Goblin and you can basically change the heads and the bodies and stuff like that. But the head is like a, like an actual like ball. Right. It's round. Right. it's round and then a copy of the same six mary uh cd second coming i just have a couple of these so it's a good album and they just have a couple of them this is really good this is the one that

has their music or their the song that they made a music video for which is do no good which is love that my favorite i think my favorite uh they perform it very yeah get hia's on this one as on this one as well that's also good if you've seen them in concert you've seen them do you get real high yeah and then he's then he says i gotta go to work and help the I got to go listen to people talk about neighbors, you know, neighbors infringing on their territory.

You know, it's all good. You guys, you have no idea. Come to Vegas so you can see what I mean. It's uncanny. Forget about AI voices. You just do him. That's all you need. There you go.

Yeah, exactly. He'd read a book better than Stephen King. All right, moving on. Hey, check this out. The way we pay for the show and keep the lights on is simple. Patreon.com slash TMS. If you go there right now, you'll never get commercial. So you get some of that weekend stuff we talked about.

You'll get pre-show and a little post show every single day. And these couch parties and other things aren't going to host themselves. All right? No. So if you want to be a part of that and get other great monthly benefits while you're at it for the low, low price of starting at a buck a month as all, because we're dumb, you can do it at

Patreon.com slash TMS. Let's get out of here. We need to leave, but we need music to do it. So what'd you bring? When Macias says My same sex My James impersonation Sounds higher pitch But close to my Trump

Oh so far Like those two are so far From each other Not even close Yeah Oh yeah Sleepy Joe Didn't

Decided not to come out to Palestine Oh he's Where's he He's hanging out With Zelensky I mean It's maybe in the same zone I see a little bit

Now that I did that As I was doing I kind of hear it yeah well anyway maybe a little bit play some music Brian by the way speaking of triggering how many people did I just trigger oh tons of them no now they'll have a reason to go to the

thread and add to it and say what triggered them exactly say Brian triggers me every time he does that damn Trump impersonation you did it whatever tallie says me yeah there you have a lot of people now me me me all of us everybody

exactly all right Eric B wrote in and said hello Silver and Bree very clever on February 20th I hit the old dirty 30 but more importantly it was also what would have been Kurt Cobain's 55th could you imagine a 55 year old Kurt Cobain oh man so weird crazy uh so let's celebrate with a Nirvana cover insert Brian vamp about song okay oh thanks you need to put that in there Scott three random sound clips would be swell three okay I can do that uh let's just be random here and go with hold on let's see extra TMS. Okay, here we go. How about...

Trumbomiker. I like that one. How about this one? That's what she said. And finally... It ain't got no gas, any. There you go. There's my three. Perfect. Look at that. Nice combo right there. You can almost put those in a different order into it. Full sentence.

All right. Let's get to this one. It is Glass Animals. They, during lockdown, Glass Animals recorded what they called a quarantine cover series. And this was the first one that they did. so it's appropriately called quarantine covers episode one. This is their cover of Nirvana's heart-shaped box. Here is Glass Animals. All right, that's going to do it for us.

Like we said, all that stuff. And then Monday, oh, there's a chance I have a dental appointment Monday, but I'm trying to figure out whether it's happening. So if I have one, I'll let you guys know ahead of time so you know if the show's happening or not. But if it happens in the morning, I may not be here. I'm having a hard time getting this stupid crown scheduled. So it was the best time I could get.

But I'll let you guys know. I'll let you guys know what happens. All right, that'll do it for us. Thank you all for listening. We'll see you then. I've been droning to your magnetop pit trap. I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black. Hey, wait, I got a new complaint for forever.

Forever and dead to your priceless advice Hey, wait, I got a new complaint Forever and dead to your priceless advice advice Me, eating, oh kids, forgive no one just yet. Cut myself on angel hand Baby is breath Broken hymen of your highness

I'm left back Throw down your unbeakunous So I can climb I'm right back Hey, wait, I got a new complaint For whoever and dead to your price to survive Hey, wait, I got a new complaint For whoever and dead to your price, the service

There we go. There we go. This show is part of the Frog Pants Network. Get more shows like this at FrogPants.com. Hello, cursed earth pizza.