The Morning Stream - TMS 2540: More, less great

Episode Date: October 19, 2023

Sore me up in one arm. The Dr. and his magical screwdriver. The Shoveler, he uses a shovel right? 1992, plus or minus 12 years. She's Bagel Coffee, not Tea Croissant. Blake Breeders. Harbor Freight: Not Just Harbors and Not Just Freight. Omaha: The Home Of Stuff & Things. Every Time You Sing...A Note. Might as well face it, you're a sharp dressed man! We like Florida when they're available for news coverage. Was it a bomb? depends. Betting Other People's Money. I've Heard of Gummy Bears, But This is Ridiculous. Perfect, Expensive, and hard with Wendi and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp Therapy online. If you want to live a more empowered life therapy can get you there. Visit betterhelp.com slash morning stream today and get 10% off your first month. TMS is brought to you daily by the support of our patrons at patreon.com slash TMS. Like Mike, Primitive B and Ray Feeney. Coming up on TMS, soar me up in one arm. The doctor and his magical screwdriver. The shoveler. He uses a shovel, right?

1992, plus or minus 12 years. She is bagel coffee, not tea croissant. Blake Breeders. Harbor Freight, not just harbors and not just freight. Omaha, the home of stuff and things. Every time you sing a note. Might as well face it, you're a sharp-dressed man. We like Florida when they're available for news coverage.

Was it a bomb? It depends. Betting other people's money. I've heard of gummy bears, but this is ridiculous. Perfect, expensive, and hard with Wendy. And more on this episode of the Mornings. stream all right i don't know if this is really a sin or not but i was getting baked in a warehouse last week and when i was leaving i saw that it was on fire and i don't know if it was me but

because it could have been the kids in the school next door but still presenting new ballerina barby she's beautiful The morning stream, fish. Why the hell do they call you fish? Hello, everyone. Welcome to TMS. It is the morning stream for Thursday, October 19th, 2023. I'm Scott. That's Brian. Hello. Hey, Brian. It's going on. Friday Eve, baby. Weekend, just around the corner. You got big plans. You got fun stuff plans? Yeah. Can we go see? The Colorado Rapids on Saturday night, courtesy of a listener who's not able to attend. What are the Rapids? What do they do? They're soccer.

Oh, soccer, right. Okay. They are the Colorado soccer team. They're playing against the Green Bay team or the Wisconsin team the night before the Denver Broncos lose to the Green Bay Packers. Oh, great. Wow. You've already predicted the loss. Yeah.

Yeah, it's a pretty, it's a pretty, well, you know, neither team is doing great this year, but the Denver Broncos are doing more less great. More less great, yeah. More less great. Yeah, I hear that from a lot of Broncos fans. They don't seem real happy this season so far. Things could turn around, though. You never know.

Yeah, yeah. Probably not. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. You know, we'll call it a, we'll use the same excuses. Oh, no, it's a growing year. It's a rebuilding year. We're just, you know, Russell Wilson's trying to get his footing and all that.

Sure. Those are all the, we've been saying rebuilding year about the jazz since the late 90s, so I feel. sure sure i feel you um all right we got a how's your pro nthl team doing oh they're doing great uh yeah they're housed in Vegas which is kind of hard to deal with but you know we we're we're doing okay actually they're not doing that great either the radars are definitely going to win this weekend they all pretty sure who are they playing this weekend they are playing i just had it up a second ago i don't even know because i i've been um you know i've got this pickham league a few tad Poolers are in the Pickham League Tanner and Barry Folk and Wes, we know is Burgess Diesel in the chat and deck Janiels.

And anyway, the Packer or the Raiders are playing the Chicago Bears. Oh, the Bears, the Bears. Is this a home game or an away game? This is in Chicago. Oh, and they're still planning it a win. Well, that's fantastic. They're still planning it to be a win. learned today about arbitage um which is a very interesting way to game the game system so arbitrage if you um if if betting gambling is legal in your your town sports gambling is legal in your town or your state then you can do this thing called arbitage where if you've got the time you can pit all of the different services against each other so right now there's a bunch of different

ways you can bet online, or different companies. Sure. Points bet, Fanduel, MGM, Caesars, draft kings, et cetera. And what you do is you look at

lines, at spreads and things like that. And if the odds on two different, on two of the same bet are wildly far apart from each other, then what you can do is, in one betting app,

bet $100 on it, and then on the other betting app, bet $100 against it. And you're guaranteed to make money from one of those. You'll definitely lose on one. You'll definitely win on the other one. But if the gaps are

hugely spaced apart, then the amount you win or the amount you lose will be more than you lost on the other bet. That seems like something that that industry would want to squish, no? They don't, they're fine with it. But maybe that gets a more, more I think, well, I mean, it's, you know,

it take a lot of work. And I know, Mitsula could speak to this, but it takes a lot of work for them to go and look and see what the odds are on every other betting app, because those are all done independently. Mitsula does it for, for draft kings, for example. Sure, sure. And I don't think he goes to every other. I don't think he goes to Fandul and MGM and Caesars and points bet and bet fred and all these and sees what their odds are to make sure that you can't do it.

But they don't care, right? They get your money. They get your money either way. They get your money other way. or they have a chance of getting your money either way. Yeah. And it's in their favor, the way it works, because you still pay fees on top of stuff, right?

I assume. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So funny you bring. No, actually, you don't. You pay, they build in, like, you basically don't get 100% of your bet back if you, if you win, right? So let's say it's a $5 bet on the Raiders game this weekend. If you win, you don't just get $10. You get some like $9.80 something cents.

Yeah, and they get the rest. Right, exactly. Yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Speaking of, I talked to him last night, funny enough. And he wants to, or I approached him about it. He's happy to do it. But we're going to bring him back. Remember we had him on a few times talking about Vegas stuff here on the show?

I'm going to bring him in in November and talk about the F1 stuff. Oh, yeah, cool. And what the impact is. get a dude on the ground, you know, in the middle of November. Yeah, absolutely, our man in the street, Mitsula. Yeah, get him on one of his cigar walks or something. You could talk about how the, how Las Vegas has made one side that the, the northbound, no, I'm sorry, the southbound lanes of the strip beautifully, like, repaved, graded, repaved, and super nice, while the other side still, as you drive on it, still feels like it's in a war zone. Yeah.

It's all like gummed up with literal gum and stuff like that. Well, and potholes and stuff like that. It's like, well, the, the F1 cars are only going to be driving on one side of the strip. So we only really need to spend the money to fix one side. I think it makes the sport more interesting if they had to drive on the potholey side, you know? Yeah, yeah. Like a little bit of danger in your day. Anyway, that'll be fun.

We'll figure out when, but sometime in November we'll get him in here. I think that thing starts early November is my memory. November 18th I think 17th 18th yeah I forget but yeah Perfect place for it None of the snow the rest of us will be having We'll be there or any of that stuff

Yeah good time for it I guess Sounds like it's gonna be a nightmare though If you if you have to travel Or no if you have to work there And commute around there That would suck Oh it's a nightmare I mean it already is kind of a nightmare

Because of the construction work that's going on All around Vegas for that And yeah And ripping out trees and all sorts of stuff. It's time to move to hinder-tucky, all you people. Get out there. That's right.

Or perump. Yeah, or perump. All right, we're going to do a little car talk because that's our new show. That's our NPR car talk. Sports, now we moved on to car talk. That's right. Yeah, after that, I don't know. Moving down the FHM list of topics.

Slowly over time becoming an actual morning show here on the morning stream. This is about your breaks, actually, that you just had done. Or you just did them. And this guy wrote in I don't think he left a name Anyway this says in his description Of changing his brakes on the last TMS Brian did not mention

Having bled his brakes After the job was done Except to say that right after he Right after he had to pump his pedal a few times To get the fluid into the calipers That part alarmed me As that didn't Or sorry

As that need to pump the fluid While test driving should not have happened If he had bled his lines Without bleeding after the brake job air that has entered the lines during the repair will cause a lessening of hydraulic pressure. Basically, this can be dangerous because during times of heavy use, I'll see, good bleed kits are pretty cheap at Harbor Freight. Vacuum sealed bleed kits are great for just one person.

Did you do the bleeding? Was there bleeding involved? I did, but I picked up, I've gone on to Harbor Freight, 25 bucks. Got the vacuums, basically, it's a self, self-break bleed kit. Blake Breeder and vacuum pump kit. Don't get the break breeder. The Blake Breeder is not the thing you want to order. You want the brake bleeder.

It's very hard to say. And, yeah, I'll take care of that this weekend. Although, you know, I'm not so worried about it because I hardly ever use my brakes. I mean, I, you know. Just floor it. Yeah, exactly. And I just start coasting when I'm on my way home, I start coasting about four blocks before I get to my head. house. And by the time I roll into the garage and hit all the mattresses I've set up to stop my

car, I'm, you know, not going too fast. It's great. So I feel like I've learned a little something about Harbor Freight. I thought they just did like tools and crap. I guess this is tools. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why it would be any different. I just didn't think they'd car stuff there. But there you go. All right. DJ says DJ in the chat room says it never had to bleed brakes when changing pads and rotors in 35 years unless you take off a break hose which i didn't i didn't take off a break hose the uh the um the pad holder like all that stuff stayed on and intact so um bio cow it's like a brand new term yeah um agrees with which him or the with uh air can be compressed fluid cannot agrees with DJ saying unless you take off a break hose you don't need to

bleed the brakes uh it you know I have been doing a lot of driving to be serious for a moment. I have been doing a lot of driving and have not had a problem. As a matter of fact, I was doing some reading this morning after I saw this in the notes, and they say that if, you know, the air, if you've got air in your line, then it takes a lot more effort to stop the car with the brakes. And that has not been an issue. So you're not having to push harder or do anything like that.

Not having to push harder. So I don't know. That said, better to be safe than sorry, picking up a brake bleed kit and taking a look. Bloody brakes, perfect for Halloween. Let's go. And those of you named Blake who are breeding, congratulations. Yeah, well done, Blake. I hope it's a boy.

I don't know why. What else? Oh, electric car stuff. Some more car talk. Yeah, cool. Which is what I'd like to replace my Kia Soul with. Yeah, heck yeah. This is from a listener also via text.

They did not leave their name. hi Scott heard you're talking a little bit about electric cars a couple of morning streams ago and I'm a big fan of them and have been driven have been driving them for over a few years now if you have any questions feel free to let me know I'd be happy to answer them also you were talking a bit about how Tesla's attempt to make their charging cable and charging port the standard as of now Ford GM and a number of other major companies have all agreed that they're going to just use the Tesla standard from this from this point forward because Tesla chargers tend to be the best maintained and available to chargers in the country so far i guess it turns out it kind of worked um yeah i assume so every time i see a bank of charging uh stalls they're always teslo ones they're always teslas so yeah so you may as well i mean when in rome it's like you know it's it's apple saying let's do the usb cable usbc cable on all of our devices yeah same same idea it's just finally caving to the standard i guess yes thank god oh my god and so you know well i my car i need to to go find a USB mini port to charge it. Oh, no, I need to take mine to a USB type B device.

Who was the dude from, I forget, came to Vegas two years ago and brought his Rivia truck, the electric truck. Oh, God, yeah, that's right. And he had, I can think of his name. Yeah, it came to the arcade thing. But in his back, a little compartment there, he had like two adapters. So he could, he could still use the Tesla ones. He just had to put a little connecting device. Yeah, and I can't remember if it was maybe defaulted to Tesla, but if he had another kind, he had to have an ad... I can't remember, but he says that everyone he knew with electrics drive around with multiple adapters just in case, because they don't know where they're going to be. Yeah. Tim Watson says, Musk wins again. Listen, Elon Musk is about as involved with the Tesla company as Dave Thomas is involved with the new pumpkin spice frosty. Yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't ascribe too much to Elon in this case. He's not really... No, for sure. They kind of told him to

quit bugging us. Yeah. Although that weird... We'll have you on the silent board. That weird truck that has breakable windows when he said it didn't. That thing's coming out. Yeah, the cyber truck. I think that's this week.

People get delivery on them. It is, yeah. Supposed to be... Right, I just saw an Engadget or something that you're starting to get delivered. So really good unless baseballs are flying in your area. Yeah, watch out for that. Also, I'm just... I'm curious about reviews because, uh, personally, you know,

You know, if I'm getting a truck and it's electric, I'm probably either doing that Ford F150 lightning or whatever they call it or the Rivia, which is a lot more money. But I would do those because I think this thing looks really stupid. And it's also a target for people, even if it's amazing. It doesn't matter to me. It's a target. People are going to see it parked in a mall parking lot and you're going to be too tempted to key it or do some shit to it because you're, you're, you're,

mean that way and it stands out too much it's just too weird here's what i'm really looking forward to so um when i get my electric car there's like that big screen they all have a nice big screen in the middle of them the teslas have a fan like a like larger than an ipad pro screen in the middle of the dashboard which i really like i can't wait to um to have all my sports betting apps on that middle screen uh and i'm talking about this just to irritate the crap out of stepping in the chat room well sometimes we like to target you guys and we just did it take that um yeah i'm looking at uh this thing it's also different than what he showed on stage it's like a bunch of changes yeah like just the way it's it's like the profile of it is different i don't know i'm curious to hear reviews and stuff i want to

see what people say about that that i almost called it a device because they kind of are now these cars they're more device than car it feels like half the time they are yeah exactly which is fine hey i like devices it's all fine yeah no problem it's a device with wheels cool all right on that same text line we also got a voicemail and this is about town names you know we're talking about toella and arkansas right and versails i think was the uh the thing that launched the uh the whole diatribe yep uh well we got more on that so here you go hi scott and brian this is malia from Omaha and after hearing you talk on TMS this morning about town name pronunciations I wanted to tell you about two Nebraska town names first we have

Norfolk which is spelled Norfolk but pronounced Norfolk and if you say it as spelled people from there will get upset supposedly when the town was being named it was supposed to be named after the North Fork of the river but there was an error that left it spelled with an L instead of an R and second we have Kara which is is spelled exactly like Cairo, Egypt. The town has Egyptian theming with street names like Nile and Egypt, and you'll see it decorated with images of things like camels and palm trees. But it is pronounced Cairo, like the syrup.

Anyway, thank you so much for the show, and have a great rest of your day. What is going on in Omaha, Nebraska? Why? Yeah, no kidding. That seems crazy to me. I forgot about Cairo. Yeah, it's almost like people decided, we like all. of these cities that are outside the U.S.,

but we don't like the way they're pronounced. Yeah, yeah. That's weird. And Norfolk is just Norfolk, which is just horrendous. It's really bad. Especially the fact that it's spelled with an L but pronounced with an R. Norfolk. It seems like if you're the incorporated city

though, couldn't you make something permanent and change the typo? Yeah, yeah. Why couldn't you do that? It feels like a good thing for your local government to do. So I don't know. But hey, Omaha, you're the home of great things. So good luck, you.

You're home of the, what is it, the Omaha World Register? No, World. Oh, what is the newspaper? Omaha World Citizen. Sentinel, something. Omaha World, Dang it. All right, you've got to look at that. Synchronicity.

I imagine if I just start top, type, World Herald. The World Herald. Okay. The O-W-H, yeah. Nice. You've been there. Sounds like. I have been there.

Worked there. with a guy named Brian Hamburger. That was his real name. Really? Yeah. Isn't that where Omaha's where John Candy got stuck when he was selling curtain rings for... Oh, probably. Yeah, in planes, trains and automobiles.

We're coming up. We're coming up pretty close to the viewing, the annual viewing of planes, trains, and automobiles. Yeah, I didn't watch it last year for, I don't know why. We always do, and we missed it. So we're doing it this year for sure. The only reason I don't want to watch it is because of that horrendous every time. you go away cover. Oh, it's so bad.

I almost want to edit the movie, my version of the movie, and replace that with either the Paul Young cover that was a huge hit or the Holo Notes original. Yeah, one of those would be better. And here's the funny thing. It's actually fine. For most of the scene, it's instrumental.

It's fine. Yes. But the minute somebody pipes up and sings, you go, oh, shit, you guys. Every time you go. Because it's so. over, it's like one of those early auditions

for American Idol where they do the thing where they hold one ear and then hold your hand up and do the Oh, I hate it. Oh, I hate that so bad. Yeah. Why? You know what?

I really hate that. For those of you listen to the podcast, I had one hand on my ear and the other hand held up and I was moving it around. And you're moving the hand around to kind of like a theramen, like you're Control in the pitch. Freaking hate that so much. Why do I have such an aversion to that, I wonder.

I like, I see it and I just go, because it's so, it's like such a, what do they call that? When somebody, when somebody fakes an affectation? Is that an affectation? Like when Madonna started speaking British. Speaking with a British accident. Yeah, that's annoying.

Is that what it's called? Affectation or a, um, uh, Oh, I guess that's a right word. I'm not sure that's the right word. This is where we appreciate the... Tadpole, pipeline. Behavior, speech, or writing that is artificial and designed to impress, affectation.

That is affectation. Yes. Yeah, I don't like it. I wish people wouldn't do that. Yes. And look, we all have our quirks and our things that we say and we do. Sure. But that with the hand and the up and down,

freaking F right off. F right off with that business. I hate it. So much. I don't know why that bugs me so bad, but it gets under my skin. I get to ask about Hobbs Dog, who says, Jillian Anderson does that now. Same with, of course, Johnny Depp.

Now, wait a minute. Jillian Anderson is British, isn't she? She's British, yeah. Yeah, so I don't think she's, I don't think her. It's the other way around. She came here and talked American for X-Files and stuff. Oh, you know what? She was born in America.

Yeah, but raised over there, right? She, uh, right, let's see, born in Chicago, Illinois. She must have, right? Because she's absolutely, yeah, grew up in London, United Kingdom and Grand Rapids, Michigan. Yeah. So it was a chunk of time, too. She wasn't there. Let's see, most of her growing up, I think.

Let's see, born in 68. Where's her early life? Here we go. Born in Chicago. Grew up in West Michigan for a while. Okay. Soon after her birth, her parents moved to Puerto Rico for 15 months, then to London. and so she's essentially a

I'll say when she was 11 years old she returned to the States when she was 11 um and then went to the and spent every summer in London so yeah she are you on her Wikipedia page to study curiosity

okay don't scroll down don't look the don't look at the photo that's in there I'm going to paste the photo in our chat and I want you to tell me in what year was that photo of Gillian Anderson taken oh my gosh oh wow look at this Or I'm putting this up.

Can I put it up for the chat? Can they say it? Absolutely put it up for the chat. Okay. Here you go. Here's Jillian Anderson. I'm going to say, um, 90s and let's narrow it down.

Probably, probably, this got to be pre-X-files. So I'm going to say, 902. 2004. Oh, shit. She looks younger than she did when she was on the X-Files. Weird. The curious case of Jillian Anderson. I still have such a massive crush on her.

I love her. You need to watch, have you, you haven't watched the, um, did you watch sex education? Uh, I did. Kim and I loved that. Yeah, the final season was just so, so good. Was there, uh, there was some talk of some more episodes? Maybe that, maybe I misheard that. And something new was coming out soon.

Well, the final episode, the final season just came out. Oh, that's, so we're behind a season then. If it just came out. Good. That's what it is. Watch that and have some tissues handy and not for the reason you might think of sex education. Yeah, because that show was not afraid to go places like that. Although Ruby, hubba, hubba.

Hubba. Yeah, that's a fun show. It's what you know what's great about that show? You think it's like, you know, American Pie style kind of raunch, whatever. And in some ways it is, but it's not. It's like about these, it's about people and their innermost needs and wants. And it's way more than what the surface of it is. It's really smart.

I really like that show a lot. It's more than just a comedy, too. And it'll get you, it'll get you ready for the new doctor. Because the best friend of the main character, Otis' best friend, Nakutti Gatwa. Yeah, he's going to be the new doctor. Oh, that's right. He'll be great.

He is going to be great. I mean, his character in sex education is practical. It's the doctor without time travel. Kind of, yeah. It's like, where's your, where's your freaking magical screwdriver there, buddy? You should have it out. That's awesome. I love the doctor and his magical screwdriver.

What's it called? Sonic screwdriver. Sonic screwdriver. Shit. I mean, look, number one. I don't watch a lot of Doctor Who. Number two, I knew it was a screwdriver. I just could not remember the Sonic part.

That's true. I'm glad you didn't say, yeah, exactly. It's a magical hammer. Magical hammer in space in a phone booth. Wee. All right. You know, I think about it. We've got a Norse, you know, superhero god with a magical hammer.

We've got a time-traveling doctor with a screwdriver. Are there any other fictional characters with that, that carry versions of tools like uh we don't have somebody with a magical saw anywhere do we like captain america's shield count as a tool i don't know if it does it's a shield okay yeah it's just a shield uh it's just a shield but you know mulener's not shovel shovel night all right that's pretty good oh shovel night yeah shovel and the shoveler anybody with a wrench like who uh let's think about that for a second does bot the builder carry a wrench oh yeah the wrecking crew because i mean they've got a crow bar and a um yeah they have a lot of implements from the garage um yeah and the mystery

men they're all about using practice shit forks and stuff um the shovel they have the shovel uh or shovel uh what was it shovel the shovel the shovel yeah i was just saying his what he had was the shovel the character was the shoveler but i was questioning my memory i'm like wait yeah he had it right Yeah, right. It's my deal, Wade, my deal. Let's see, what else? Who else? That's all I can think of.

No other Marvel characters have cool shit like that. No. Or D.C. for that matter. I'm trying to think. Yeah. I mean, it's, I imagine there's, you know, there's somewhere, some one, one issue character, one issue villain that, you know, carried a blow torch and a welding mask or something, I'm sure. Ooh, the welder. That's a cool name.

The welder, yeah. I'm going to merge your shield to Wolverine's Clause, Captain America, and then you're going to be welded to him permanently, or your shield will be anyway, and you can just let go of your shield, but whatever. I guess the way to look at it is, are they not the thing they're supposed to be without the tool? And I would say, yes, like Thor is lessened without Mulener.

It is not the same. For sure. You could say that about, you know what, Silver Surfer could be, it's not a tool, but without the board, what is he? Before we get emails, the door is fine with Mulener because he has Stormbreaker now. Oh, that's true. But it's still a tool, you know? Still a tool.

It's just not a hammer. Now it's like an axe with a big hammery thing on the back. A magical axe. Now we can cut down big magic trees. Magic trees. All right. Hey, Brian, there's something here, the double shot Wednesday. We've got to hear how that went.

Yeah, I had my double shot yesterday. You know, it wasn't two for Tuesday. It was double shot Wednesday. Make sure you say the phrase that pays when we call it. you and you'll win a hundred bucks. I got my fluvid shot yesterday. And so I'm, uh, same arm, separate arms. What did you decide?

Same arm. Yeah. Yeah, you're a real man like me. I did that too. Well, I just don't want to be sore in both arms. I mean, if you're going to be sore or soar me up in one arm. Yeah. And, uh, um, not really feeling, obviously not feeling like I did after the

Moderna shot. So let's hear it for Pfizer and whatever it is in my system that, that does fine with, uh, yeah. I had modern and I didn't. bother me at all, so I don't know what my deal is. Well, I mean, it's different for everybody. Everybody has a different... That's true. A different physiology, so...

Yeah, that's true. But, yeah, Moderna hit me hard. Pfizer, I'm just a little bit, I don't know, a little sloggy today, a little slow. Little loggie. Yeah, not so bad that I need to sit down for the show, but, but yeah, don't ask me to perform

any major math problems today. Okay. No, that'll be good, because then you'll be on par with me in my normal state with math problem. So that's great. Now we're the same. I'm glad it went well. And the flu shot, apparently the flu going around this year, the one that's based on the shot that everyone's getting is a gnarly one.

Oh, really? Good. So get that flu shot, baby. Because, man, I know a couple of people who are just wrecked with the flu. And, oh, that reminds me. You know how yesterday I couldn't get it to work, Carter's voice thing? Oh, yeah. Did you were able to get it?

She sent me a video. I'm not going to show the video, but I am going to play the audio because she asked me, please don't show this video, dad. You can play the audio, but not the video, because it's kind of looking up at her, and she thinks she looks bad. I think she looks adorable, so I don't know what her problem is, but whatever. Here we go.

Let's play this, so you can guys get a taste. So she's wandering around Japan and Korea. Now she's back in Japan today for her final day, and then they're flying home to. Just can't decide where she wants to be. Just gallivanting around the planet. like it's hers, you know. Here's what she says, and I don't know how she's communicating.

It's already hard enough if you don't know the language. But when people talk to you, she can barely get a voice out. So listen to this. I'm in a market, but I wanted to show you guys what my voice sounds like, because it's so bad. She can barely talk. Oh, my God. It sounds like Claire on day two of Vegas.

Right. It does. Oh, my gosh, you're right. It does. Yeah. And that was also after a little karaoke. I think, wasn't it? Yeah, see, that'll do it.

Yeah, that'll get you every time. And she also found this coffee shop in Japan, not with no Japanese characters, it's just in English, and it says, she's bagel coffee. With an apostrophe, which means possession, which means she is bagel coffee.

It's a weird thing. It's right, exactly. You're abbreviating, she is bagel coffee. Yeah, that's a very odd deal. The contraction of bagel, of a she is bagel coffee i guess things just you know japan translation one of my favorite things on this planet i would have a i would have a coffee bagel but i don't know if i'd have bagel oh let's think about that so a bagel flavored or sorry coffee flavored bagel that sounds

yeah that sounds all right chocolate chip bagel blueberry bagel i've had you know i've had all the bagels but what if you had an everything crunch bagel at panera oh those are those are really good so bad for you but what if you had a everything bagel you know the the kind that are just dumped with all the flavors. Yeah, where it's like onion and garlic and sesame seeds. What if that was the flavor of the coffee you had? No, no. Pass.

Oh, you'll pass it all right. You'll pass it right through. Yeah, it'll pass right through me. Yeah, gross. That does sound gross, and I'm not even a coffee drinker, so no. Nobody do that. All right. Well, great. Let's do some news. We've got some news to cover. Let's do some news. It's important, you know.

People need the informity. Today's news is brought to you by Brought to you by Coverville today at 12 p.m. Yeah, we're keeping that noon time for the foreseeable future. Twitch.tv.tv slash Coverville. Today, celebrating the birthday of Natalie Merchant, who turns 60. And, no, math again. I'm going to guess about 10,000 maniacs.

Oh, man. The songs that we're going to be hearing. But, of course, all your favorite 10,000, and Maniacs and Natalie Merchant songs like Wonderland like the weather great cover of

because the night that she did these days there's a lot of good stuff to hear on today's episode of cover of cover of at Twitch.com at noon

I'll be playing Marvel Snap while I play the music and probably because I'm a little Logie today probably not doing a whole lot of talking

which is just fine nothing wrong with that Did any of the 10,000 maniacs? I assume they're down a few over the years. They don't have as many. Well, Natalie Merchant left the band and they replaced her with another singer, had a great voice, and they did a cover of More Than This by Roxy Music. Their first single after the replacement,

their first single was a cover of more than this. I like that song. I do too. I'm not even a big Roxy Music. I couldn't tell you most of their library, but I love that song. Yeah, yeah. I just remember Roxy Music had album covers that made my mom nervous. Yeah, yeah, they, lots of ladies, like European model ladies, sometimes with their boobies showing.

Yeah, they weren't afraid to show some boobs on album covers. No. Let's just put it like that, you know. Brian Ferry, probably the best dressed man in music. Oh, hell, yeah. Always suit and tie. Like always little undone, the first button undone, suit the tie hanging down. suit the tie hanging down a little bit, but still

one of the best dressed men in rock and roll. Do they still I don't know, gallivant around and do music? I saw Roxy Music Live two years ago at the Paramount Theater and Brian Ferry sounds as amazing as he always did. Wow. Yeah. Was he dressed nicely in his suit once

again? Yeah, absolutely was. Well, then, I'd be disappointed if he showed up with cargo pants and a Baskin Robbins T-shirt. That would be great. Yeah. Just throw everyone's expectations right in the trash can. Limba up, limbo down. And he's like in a, you know, suspenders and no shirt and junko pants.

Love that. Yeah, Robert Palmer ties for best dressed man. Oh, yeah. Great Robert Barber. Girls go crazy for the best dressed man. Now, how's that go? Women go. No, girls go crazy for a sharp dressed man.

Is that it? Yeah. exactly right yes okay it's been a while yeah all those same looking ladies behind them dancing that's right same except that was uh you were singing zizi top oh is that yeah i got the wrong secret to love is the uh might as well face it oh shit yeah there you go but same kind of thing might as well face it you're a sharp dress man man man look at all my same looking ladies being a sharp-dressed man, didn't realize you were saying that that was one of his songs.

No, I have. But they sound exactly the same. There's got to be somebody that a mash-up of those two sons. If they haven't, someone needs to. Somebody do that if you haven't already done it, okay? Take my horrible music failure and turn it into cash. A mom, this is kind of a sad story, but also a little insane. There's this marshmallow challenge going around.

I've seen it a few times. Just don't do anything that begins with the word challenge, people. I agree. Save yourselves. Yeah, why would you do this to yourselves? This mum, this is obviously a British story. A mum. Choked to death while doing the marshmallow challenge. The mother appeared to choke to death while participating in the marshmallow challenge.

Natalie Burris, her bus, age 37, an accountant and mother of two, was tasked with fitting as many marshmallows into her mouth as possible during a 60-second fundraising competition at her son's rugby club in Bedou, RFC near Ponti-Prid, South Wales. Ponty Prid. That says Ponty Prid right there. No, no, no, it's Ponti Prid. Yeah. What a dumb name. It really is. Yeah, get that, go to the local council, you know.

Right. The RFC's rugby football club, but Baddow must be the town. Yeah, must be. Bedou Baddow is the team name and then Ponti Prid is the town. Ponte Prid. Where do you live? Ponte Prid. Oh, I live in the west side of Ponte Prid.

Ponte Prid. Terrible name. Anyway, she died in the emergency room or after emergency. services got to her. They were unable to revive her when she was called they were called on Saturday night after bus

collapsed at about 10 p.m. She was laughing at the same time and it was like she sucked the marshmallow down her hole throat, throat hole. One minute everybody was enjoying themselves and whooping. Says the quote.

The next she was on the floor. It was dreadful to watch it happen in front of you. Well, of course it is. It's awful. First Aiders went forward to help. This is a part of the quote. I love first Aiders.

first aiders yeah we just say what do we say first responders or something yeah first responders exactly first aiders I like first aiders I'm going to use that from now on anyway someone said they had gone for the defibrillator on the wall

of the school opposite I love the way these people talk but it didn't help her airways were blocked by the marshmallows her family is waiting for the results of a post-mortem examination don't be doing the challenge horrible yeah don't be stuffing a bunch

stay away from challenges people it's never good and nobody ever picks a challenge that's like well rarely picks a challenge i know we had it with the um the ice bucket challenge was to help raise awareness oh yeah money for a good cause but other than that it's all it's all dumb it's all uh do you remember that for a hot minute that's all anybody was doing yes exactly every video you saw every stupid thing you heard about every vine that was on vine before vine went away was the ice spike was somebody dumping uh yeah They're not donating money, but they're just dumping ice water on themselves. I donate money, by the way, and I did it with a coconut bra per request by Carrie. Oh, that was Carrie's idea. Cleo. Cleo, yeah. She told me to put on a coconut bra and pour ice water on myself. And I did.

I forgot about that part. I did it too. Also sent money. My kids, I think my kids did it to me. I don't remember who did it to me. Oh, yeah. No, I think your kids did. I think I remember that video.

Yeah, it may have been Nick. I don't remember. Yeah. It's your kids, Scott. Your kid's Scarty. Here's one. Here's a story about Florida. We like Florida when they're available for news coverage.

A flight to Florida returned to Panama over a suspected bomb that turned out to be, not a bomb, but an adult diaper. Oh, no. Yeah. Did somebody get in trouble? That depends. oh couldn't resist sorry had to do it sorry sorry sorry did you get the bomb well that depends on who you're exactly was it was it really a bomb depends it depends there's so many depends jokes that we could make yes exactly no no offense to anyone who deals with incontinence we know you're out there

yeah yeah all right i had a little uh had a little scary yesterday i'm not saying much else oh really well just you know sometimes you you eat wrong and you think think, oh, I'm going to, yeah, you might have toot. And then you realize, oh, I'm glad I held back because that wouldn't have been a toot, you know, one of those deals. That was not a toot, not a, not a false alarm. Yeah, I could have said shart, but I didn't. Yeah. Trying to spare some people.

Thank goodness. Well, now I went ahead and said it. So what are you going to do? Anyway, airport security at Panama City's Tacuman, Takuman, Takuman, an international airport, I don't know. Taco Man. Tuckuman. I like Tuckuman. International Airport on Friday.

Search for Copa Airlines Flight found, well, sorry, bound for Tampa, Florida for a suspected bomb only to find an adult diaper. The plane to return to the Panama Airport because they were worried about this bomb. It's a Boeing 737-800. I don't know what that means. A dash? When do we put in dashes in there? Yeah, it's a, they have that, like a second designation for your 737.

It's like zip codes when you put the dash in the extra. numbers the plus four yeah right this is a plus four I never I don't know my own plus four do you know your own plus four I don't I know that it auto fills it on most places but yeah which is why I don't know I just assume it's like yeah it's not info I'm ever gonna need it's it's sadly it's like yeah I mean mail will still get to you if you just do the five digit zip but it's it's getting to be like like how it is for people's phone numbers how you don't need to know people's phone numbers because they're you know you have the speed dial in your phone They're just in your phone, yeah.

I don't know. This is really embarrassing to me because I really should know it, but I don't know Kim's phone number. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, that's when you should know. That's one I should know, exactly. She knows mine.

No problem. She knows all numbers, though. She has four different credit cards memorized. Nobody kidnap her. We're in big trouble. So. Wow. She knows my driver's license number and her driver's license number.

She's nuts with numbers. She can remember everything. She remembers a phone number when we got married. She remembers our phone number when we moved. Still? You know, I can tell you the phone number I had when I was growing up because my mom, you know, instilled the fear like most parents did as a kid. They get you fearful of what happens if you get kidnapped and you need to be able to call home. Yeah.

So I still remember my original home phone number. I do too as a teen. I don't remember my kid one, but I remember the teen one. I remember my teen one, which is different. I remember, I know our current landline, which is now Tina's fax number because she needs a faxed for adult protective services, which is silly. The faxes are still a thing. I know. There's some businesses where they just cannot get rid of them.

They just can't. And I can tell you my, I can tell you Tina's cell number. Yeah, I'm trying to think if there are any other phone numbers that I just absolutely know. Not really. Not many others. call my teen one see who has it right now hold on i'm not going to give the number away because i don't want to docks anyone no no let's see here to place a call in this area you must dial the area code and the phone number oh all right when did that happen all right apparently it's

outside of your normal area here we go let's try it again put it on speaker your call cannot be completed at this time please try again later What does that mean? Oh, now I understand. Yeah, it's a yamada. Ah, well, I guess my high school number is no longer in service, is what it sounds like. I don't even know the 100 Cars for Kids phone number. I can't even think about that one is either.

1-800, is it Cars 4 kids? Is that the full thing? That's all right. I keep telling people our text line is 801-4. wait, 801 10-10-7-1-10 hams, which is not correct at all. It's like not even close to correct. It's some other thing. How many people now are hearing the Cars for Kids?

Okay, so now that I know this is unlisted, I can just say it's 801-8-7. That's my old number. And the 9-4-3 was the thing that I, that was made it easy for all numbers behind it to remember. If my current number was 9-4-3, I would always remember, or if Kim's was, I would always remember the last four. There was something about the 9-4-3 that kicked off memory for me. Sure. You know what I'm saying?

Anyway, well, there's a fun look at her. I won't be, I won't be saying my phone number because I use it for a numerical, a numerical login thing that I still use. Oh, don't be telling us that then. Yeah. Well, I mean, there's, you know, again, you don't know my phone number as a pre-11-year-old, pre-10-year-old. That's right. Nobody knows but you.

Nobody knows but me. That's not information you can scour my LinkedIn for. What level of torture would it take to get you to say? What would it be? Oh, um, pulling off. It's just you. It's not your family. Oh, fingernails. That'd do it.

Fingernails. That, that, you know, when I hear of fingernail issues, pulling off fingernails with pliers, that sort of thing. Yeah. That's, okay, I'll give you the, I'll tell you the, I'll give you the, I'll give you the, I'll give you the best star plans if you're threatened to take it. my fingernails. Put your boffin spies away. Yeah, forget about boffin spies.

Many fingernails were sacrificed to bring you this information. Exactly, yes. Oh, wow. All right, here's a story about a black bear. It's not even a joke but it sounds like one.

Black bear walks into a gas station bar. Hold on you. You got to say it like David Ascent. All right, here's one for you. Black bear walks into a gas station bar, Maddie. takes a pack of gummy bears and leaves. Bartender says, you can always tell what?

Behind, you know, background things we're watching. It affects our lives. Totally. For you, Sopranos, for me, Moonlight. Yeah, it just affects your life. For a while. For a while, Brian will have a whole bunch of these references, and it's fine.

All I could think of was Sopranos for about four weeks. Anyway, so here's the deal. walks into a gas station bar takes a pack of gummy bears specifically gummy bears so a bear you know a bear taking gummy bears and then leaves just took off uh jay and karen de gozed braid uh serve a variety of customers at their tiny tippedin gas bar in lake cowichin on vancouver island i don't know how you say cowichin i don't either yeah that's exactly how i would say it yeah it sounds like one of them Up North names. Cowichin. Cowichin. That's one where it's just not obvious which Salable has the emphasis. Yeah. I want to say cow,

but maybe it's co. I don't know. 92 kilometer drive west of Victoria up there, but they never expected a black bear to make it to their list of clientele. Security footage from the store caught the bear casually walking in at 6.30 a.m. on Monday, going through racks of chocolate bars before

grabbing a 70 cent pack of gummy bears in its jaws and then took off without paying. Oh, that son of a bitch. I can't believe it. You know why, though. He has no pockets. Oh, is that why?

Yeah. Yeah, that's why bears never have any money. No pockets. Do you think the animal kingdom has any species that are, like, annoyed at kangaroos or other marsupials? You know what I mean? I think that there are very few animal species that know about kangaroos. Like, I think... Mostly kangaroos know, and that's about it.

Yeah, kangaroos know about it. I've been like, oh, look, the pockets on that one. It's basically what they, the other kangaroos look at, look at each other. You know, she's really nice, but she's got a really small pocket. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the pockets are really a status symbol. It's exactly right, yes.

Yeah. If I was an animal, I would want one. It seems convenient. You can stick a thing in there. Oh, my gosh, yeah, absolutely. Put your kid in there. Put your bag of free gummy bears in there. What do you need?

The bear went out to the parking lot and ate it after he took it. It's a pouch, not a pocket, all right? Yes, we know. We know it's a pouch. Calm down, all you weirdo, doctori experts, whatever. The Joey Pocket is what it is. Settle down. Yeah, calm yourselves.

It's surprise we heard from Hobbs Dog and not Lucky Phil on that one, because I would have thought that... Seems like a Lucky Phil thing to know. A lucky Phil would be, hey, mate, it's not a pocket, it's a pouch. Yeah. That's not a pocket. That's where the dingo ate your baby, so they know. Exactly, yeah. That's like you Phil's voice, by the way.

Yeah, that's really good. I was blown away by it. It says here, the dude, Jay, who runs the place was just drinking coffee behind the counter during the robbery. Just chilling. Yeah. I mean, you know, I don't think you want to get between a bear and their gummy bears, I think. Yeah. That's the old phrase?

Yeah, don't get between a bear and it's gummy bears. I mean, I don't want to get between a bear and anything. But I had a real. So growing up with like Grizzly Adams and stuff, not with him, but you know, on TV. Yeah. It was hard to reconcile this idea that bears were really dangerous when all the,

all of the media that we were shown about bears made them seem cuddly and kind and pets and this sort of thing. So growing up, I never, bears were not a scary thing to me. I think as an adult, I would recognize it for the wild animal. It is now. But if you had put me in front of a bear when I was 12, I might have been like, Oh, a bear.

Just like Grizzly Adams. It's nice. It's friendly. We can teach it to do stuff. Right. And the bear from Grizzly Adams grew up in Beaver, Utah. So you could actually go down there when it retired and hang out with it. And they had tours and stuff.

And so I just was never bears were just cuddly, beautiful things. There's a reason teddy bears exist. Yeah. Right. They're kind of cute until they open that mouth. We want bears, you know, bears are cubs are cute. Bears are mean, but we really like our. small animals and yeah this is all this is all truth coming out of your mouth

true yeah all right we're going to take a break when we come back my sister windy has sidled up to the show today and we're going to be talking about uh something new called loss of self okay and we have a follow-up call before that about what we talked about last time so brian get ready to lose yourself in a conversation with windy but before that a song break if you please sure let's go to a band called the uni boys you and i boys like boys like who go to university. These guys are so right up my alley. They're from Aliso, California.

And they are a power pop band. But more of like the original style power pop band, like you found in the 70s with bands like the kinks, the knack, big star. Man, so many, like if you think of those bands in that era, this is what you're in store for with Unibold. I love this album, download the whole thing. This is, and it's appropriate because the album is called Buy This Now, which I did.

Nice. And this is the first single from the album that's called Let's Watch a Movie. Here are the Uni Boys. Coming home, been working long. Yeah, you know what I'm going to do. Who? With the lights down low, searching pictures shows, I'll be waiting up for you. And yeah, I know you're tired, because I'm tired too. There's only one thing left to do. We're going to get me as close. We're going to make the most a movie night for two.

Let's watch a movie. Honey, let's watch a movie. tonight When I get home Grab the throat Because it's getting cool tonight Look at me I want to see

Because you're alright There's only one thing left to do We're gonna get me the close We're gonna make the most of a movie night for two Let's watch a movie Let's watch a movie Honey, let's watch a movie Let's watch a movie

Let's watch a movie Let's watch a movie Tonight You need time to settle down I said to watch movies No one's around Feeling good Better and neat

Now that I've got you around Honey, let's watch a movie. Let's watch a movie tonight. Let's watch a movie, let's watch a movie, let's watch a movie tonight. Let's watch a movie, let's watch a movie tonight. Everyone needs a little help once in a while, all right? Everyone. And you know who wants to help you the most right now?

BetterHelp Therapy online. For 10% off your first month, go to BetterHelp.com slash morning stream. Not hard to do. Just open your web browser. Get over there and get that done. You ever feel like your brain's getting in your own way, just kind of making things harder than it should? Like, you know, you know what you should do and kind of what's good for you,

but you just can't force yourself to do it. You can't get it done. Well, therapy helps you figure out what. it's holding you back so you can work for yourself instead of against yourself. All right. So whether you've been to therapy or not, maybe you're a first time or maybe you're a long timer. There are a ton of benefits to going.

It's helpful for learning positive coping skills, how to set boundaries for yourself. And maybe your relationship with others and where those boundaries should be. It empowers you to be the best version of yourself. It isn't just for people who have experienced major trauma. Sometimes just, you know, life can be tricky. so if you're thinking about starting therapy give better help a try it's entirely online designed to be convenient flexible and suited to your schedule just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists any time at no additional charge first time's not always the best time you never know plus you change all the time let them change with you know make your brain your friend with better help visit betterhelp dot com slash morning stream today to get 10% off your first month that's better help better h-e-el P, that's betterhelp.com slash morning stream.

Give it a shot. Make way for the cook. Wonderful spaghetti you made, Dad. Uh-huh. Using every pot and pan in the kitchen. I am an artist. We better get artistic on these dishes, Pat. While you, Chef Dawson, relax.

Huh? There's no such thing as vampire killers, you knob lord. And we're back. Who was that again? Those are the Uni Boys from their brand new album. Buy This Now! Exclamation point. That's the song, Let's watch a movie. You know, let's do-do that. Let's watch a movie. Yeah, do-do. Let's do-do that. You know, our pal Tanner in the thing, oh, he had his eye surgery yesterday.

Grats to him for what sounds like a success. Successful procedure? Everything went fine. Yes, Tuesday, but recovered. I thought it was yesterday. Was it yesterday? Maybe it was yesterday. We were planning on doing D&D, and I remember him saying, I'm having it, I thought I remember

him saying he's having it Tuesday, went well, and he's going to recover, recuperate. So no D&D last night. No D&D. Yeah, he's. Totally fine. Totally. Yeah, 100% fine. You need to recover from that kind of crap, dude.

You kidding me? God, yes. Yeah. But he is, he's doing, he's headed up an effort for the, the Halloween time to stream some horror movies via a stage here on our Discord. So if you haven't been a part of our Discord up till now

and you want to have some communal horror movie watching, now it'd be a great time to join up at frogpants.com slash Discord. All right? Did he do the first one after your video game streaming time? Yes. On Monday? Yeah, it was like their test, I think, on Monday.

Exactly, yeah. Or his test, I should say. Oh, it was yesterday. Let's see. Oh, it was yesterday, okay. He said he didn't have, let's see, where is it? Okay, here he goes. Okay. Was yes?

No, it was, you know what? It was the 17th. Am I smoking crack? I am smoking. Brian. It's not important. It's not important. You know what I have right now?

I have a body, I have a body full of crack. That's what I have. That's what's going on. It's so not important. Dale Carney, you this business and move on from the things that are not important. All right. I'm going to start doing that more. Hey, my sister Wendy joining us.

I should play the thing for her, though. Here you go. I'll explain the situation to Wendy. Don't worry. Hi, Wendy. Welcome back. How are you? I'm good.

Did the ringtone on Discord change? That was terrifying. It's a Halloween. They do a Halloween thing for it. Okay. And my audio was a little loud and I jumped to like a foot. Oh, yeah. He thought it was another national emergency test thing, maybe?

Yeah. How did that go for you? Where were you when they did the test? I was with a client who was a TMSer. And we were laughing. Because we were very far apart time zone-wise. And there was like a two-minute delay between them. And we were like, oh, come on, system.

It was annoying. A lot of dark stuff can happen in two minutes. Geez. Yeah, for sure. You'd think that would be more synchronized. Come on, government. Get your crap together. There was a whole bunch of people believe.

it. It was a whole conspiracy theory that this thing was going to activate the 5G vaccine. Yeah, the 5G vaccine. Yeah, and there was one lady in particular was so adamant about it on Facebook that I bookmarked her post because I just had to see. She was sure it was the end of, it was end times.

I was like, I got to see what you are the next day. And the next day, she's like, got up this morning and it looks like our bird feeder's empty. I'm like, you're just going about your life After you said all that stuff yesterday, you're not going to just like, you're not going to cave to this? Like, I at least wanted a follow up that said like, ah, the highest form of government. They've decided to put it off another month while they tested.

And she didn't do any of that. Oh, come on. It was a shame. It was a real shame. My sister. Run a cult and act that way. Yeah, exactly. If you're going to run a cult, run your damn cult.

Wendy, my sister, she is here on Thursdays for Therapy Thursdays and we help you guys with your problems. So we got a topic today, but before we get to it, Wendy, I've got a follow-up call from the last couple of weeks that I just thought you'd like. Nothing, you know, it's not a whole new subject or anything, but it's about moral injury that we talked about. Oh, yeah. And I thought you might like to follow up.

So here it is. Hey, guys. This is Jana calling for therapy Thursday, talking about Wendy's moral injury subject. I was so grateful that she talked about this. I have actually been overcoming something similar, Just over a year ago, I was working for a company who was a managed services provider for various places in Manhattan, and one of them, one of my clients I found out was a literal swimlord, the type of people who were pushing low-income families out on the street peak pandemic so that they could flip those properties and make a hefty profit. When I learned about that, learned that I was actually, in effect, helping push these families out on the street.

I couldn't deal with it. I pushed myself to find a new career at that point. I'm proud to say that, you know, I'm still struggling with some of that, but I did turn to start working to provide equal access to health care for low-income families. And I know now that the work that I'm doing is going for the net positive in the world as opposed to those important practices. So thank you, Wendy, for talking about that. And actually, the subject helped me a lot to kind of overcome

some of the feelings that I've still been wrestling with. I love the show though. Hope it wasn't too loud. I'm driving in a long car at the moment and have a fantabulous day. That's pretty great. That's so cool. And that's exactly what you were it fits exactly what you were talking about.

Like that's a dead example or a dead perfect example of what we were going through. And I'm really happy to hear that she got to be where she wants to be now. It's really good. It's amazing. Thank you for that. I love a follow up. Give me a follow up. Yeah. It's good.

Good. We like feedback as much as the rest of you, all right? So keep it coming. If you have a follow-up conversation or you want to talk about how one of these segments helped you or something you did around it, 801471062 is the place you can leave those voicemails or texts. You can also email us, of course. All right, Wendy, let's get to today's discussion. We talked you and I briefly over text about it. I have an idea what this may be, but this idea of loss of self. And we don't mean like, oh, no, I'm in the mall and I can't. can't find the car. We don't mean that. We mean probably your identity is my guess or your feeling of who am I and I thought I knew myself and now I'm not sure that sort of thing. Yes. Yes. Okay. So I was trying to think, I mean, I have many examples I could sort of point to of where this I interact and it intersects with the work that I do. And sometimes it's kind of hidden. So let me explain. Maybe I'll give you an example of somebody. I'm going to mishmash like 20 clients into one person here.

Sure. But just this idea of you are raised in a particular home. I tend to work with a lot of religious or post-religious people. And so often there's like an identity sort of handed to you in like sort of the way we are, way we should be. This does not require religion, of course, to do that as well. And in the Smith family, we. bowl or whatever right like you're kind of offered a lot of templates that um

offers way nice word basically told you're this and that and and maybe some labeling occurs kind of early and then you know you go and live your life and there's kind of a trajectory and this is what we do in our family and and that's you know very much influenced by the zip code you are in right like there are moments sometimes I don't know, your kids are out of this stage, but sometimes I'm like, is this what we do here with kids? Did we all have a meeting and agree? Because they're all going to be on traveling sports teams and never be home again? Like, who's voting for this, right? So there's bigger, broader cultural factors plus, you know, extended family to family of origin things. And I would

say one, this is very common one I see in my composite client I'm describing for females and males have their own version of maybe of this as well. But for females, it's often diet, culture stuff just really implanted very young criticism of those who are different. So clear, you can't be those things. You know, so you take the just average family raising kids without even trying, you are telling a kid what to be and what to do and what's appropriate, right? That's society, that's human. That's what we do. Now, there's sick versions of that, right? There's sicker versions that can occur and be really dangerous.

I think I've shared this about a client once before, but this mom basically told my client when she was young that, you know, very low quality people eat spaghetti. So we won't eat spaghetti and they hold fork certain ways. And they clean certain ways. Low quality people eat spaghetti. Eat spaghetti, yeah. It's a sign that you're very trashy. and that you don't, you know.

I am very low then, because I had a lot of us. Yeah, I mean, it's like all of us. But anyway. What about the people who call it Pesgetti? Are they the lower? They're the lowest bottom of the barrel. Yeah. Kick them out immediately.

What's wild about that story is that there's not an object that humans use on a regular basis. This mom did not make toxic and abusive. So it's like how you clean. And everything was related to your moral qualities. how you did certain things and then the great irony is it turned out the mom was actually in a cult

and there was some systematic like abuse weird stuff and anyway so lots of now and that's kind of what this is an extreme example of what's probably happening for most parents

right they're not all in cults but there is a I want to do it the right way I want to feel like I fit in I want to feel good about my efforts and so you know you control different trajectories of different kids. Okay, so I'm taking too long to explain this. But basically, this idea is that you're

getting all sorts of feedback to tell you who you are. So you go, you develop, you start doing things, and there's some normal milestones that you need to meet. And some of that is identity development can happen at different points. It's really important as your brain starts to shift to being more abstract and you're more social and friendship shift. Gender experiences are really changing and then you are at the ripe old age of 15 and 16 and this is when you're you know it's like the 12 to 16 range is where you kind of are pushing back against parents and sometimes that's internal because it's not safe to do that externally but you're kind of realizing like I am not them and this um individuation process is sort of beginning right but you learn pretty quick what makes

mom and dad happy and, you know, all of those things. And so you're really forming a lot around those things. And then we get to the identity critical stage, which is the 17, 18, 19, 20, up to 26 when your brain's kind of done developing. And that's when you sell your wild oats and you figure out what you think. And, you know, and that's prime college time or a prime, you know, military beginnings or whatever it is where you are learning a system without mom and dad telling you everything potentially I think when you think of like a homeschooled kid it's like a real obvious version of this where there's like and now pay attention to what everyone else thinks before you only had mom and dad sort of take on things right right and so it can be a

pretty stark experience for a lot of folks and then others will find that they just keep pleasing the system like it's got to be I'm gonna do this thing that gets me all the accolades and rewards. And I'm supposed to be a lawyer, so I'm going to make all this money and then I'm doing all of that. Now, fast forward a period of time when you're doing the identity that kind of was handed to you. And this is a very gentle version of this, right? There are very serious versions of this where you are really not allowed at all to be anything like yourself or to develop any sense of your own identity. It's just all dictated. So I'm going to stick with the happy version.

the average version that we're all experiencing. So then you're going along. And then something occurs. It's, you know, tragedy. It's loss of something that felt like was always a given. It could be a health scare. It could be a relationship ending. It could be, you know, lots of different things.

There's also just the middle of life that can also derail a person's sort of forward momentum. In terms of I'm doing what I'm supposed. supposed to be doing. So this is kind of connected to that moral injury and just the way that what we expect a need out of something might really not be what's happening. So we do all the right things and we're supposed to be, what, happy? What are we all guaranteed when we follow the, this is who you are path. Someone's telling us what to do, how to act. What are we supposed to be getting? Satisfaction, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I mean, that is what...

We can make this broader to that for sure. Well, that is what that clause is supposed to mean, right? It's supposed to mean... And the other thing, too, is it doesn't say... A lot of people confuse this. It doesn't say you're guaranteed happiness. You're guaranteed the pursuit of which. That's right.

And then you've got to decide what that is, right? Like, you have to decide what happiness is for you. Right. And we could maybe have an episode on the cult of happiness at some point. As if it's a thing. And it's not just a... passing emotion like sadness and other things but man is it tempting but it is so in the zeitgeist that's what you're supposed to want and need and right even if we can debunk it we're all still gonna be

like yeah we'll still want to be happy yeah right because it's it's awesome um anyway so so you're doing all these things you're promised all this stuff and then stuff starts falling apart or whatever it might be right so when i am now intersecting with people on this path i'm meeting them often in their 30s 40s where they are like really, really, really disconnected to any core who I am. And so people have written about this, obviously, this is not like a, you know, thing no one's ever heard of. But I think a lot of times people don't realize what's going on for them is actually a loss of self and not like just, oh, well, if my ex-wife was smarter or better or my kids want a football game.

They're kind of just like a piece of paper floating around in the wind, just letting the like push, life push them around as opposed to doing what they need to do, find happiness kind of thing. Yeah. And so, for example, let's, let's point out a really obvious one. What is something both of you really like or like to do or identify as the other people think you're stupid for? that they're like, no one with the brain likes this.

Well, we tell you what I want, what I really, really want. No, I'm, 100%. Brian really likes the Spice Girls. Yeah, but I'll think that's probably not a good example of this. Oh, that's a really good question. I can't think of something that, that... We have very good support system, right? You and I?

Yeah, we fall into the communities of people who like the stuff that maybe everybody on the outside world doesn't like playing video games or Dungeons and Dragons as much as the people in our immediate community who help us validate that stuff you like is a lot of self-validation out of that but we also have very supportive family systems you and I we have wives who totally get what we're into and they're cool with it they may not participate in Dungeons

and Dragons but they support the fact that well they like that we like it yeah yeah but here's the thing that didn't that wasn't always the case you have right I mean, in the general wide world, can you walk into any room and just talk about a most recent Dungeons and Dragons experience? No. Oh, no, for sure. I mean, that is, again, you know, we get, we get cushioned by the air, the bubble rep that is our community. But if we were to walk into the Texas Roadhouse steak joint and say, hey, everybody, let me tell you about the latest D&D campaign we just played. Yeah, and you might find one or two guys in there that are like, yeah, but mostly it's just going to be weird, you know?

Yeah, exactly. So, yeah. Okay, but at some point, you braved this at some point, right? How did you make a friend who also liked D&D if you didn't say the words, they like D&D, or whatever? You know what I mean? Like, when did you, and this may be going way back, but when did you differentiate from what everyone else thinks you should like? and what maybe your family's told you you should do or something, right? Like, and usually it's a moment of like honoring your own internal need, want experience, right?

Like, I am this. I like this. I do these things. And the way you can kind of see the test is if it's against what is very common. Right. Now, you can also really like the stuff that's really common and that is true to your identity. And that's Okay, too. It's usually not tested quite in the same way. So I'm just wondering if you guys had an example of it. Nobody teases us for liking foo fighters or, you know, Led Zeppelin or something like that. But, you know, you mentioned spice grules and all of a sudden it's like, oh, really? Okay. All right. Yeah. Right. And so how do you have the ego strength to handle that? Brian? Let's just use your spice clothes. Because I have a massive ego. It crushes me under its own weight sometimes. No, it's, it's, you absolutely have to be able to laugh. When somebody says, you really like the spice girls, you just kind of have to laugh it off. There's a little bit of self-confidence in there, and there's still like a little bit of a little stab between the armor plates that kind of,

that kind of happens with that, but very minor one. Like, you know, I play, up until a few months ago, played Pokemon Go, that was always the thing like, oh, that's still a game, that thing from seven years ago, or whatever it was. But there is, there is definitely

a self-defense mechanism of just kind of like laughing it off. Like, yeah, okay, yeah, I know, they're goofy. They're silly, but I love them. That sort of thing. And you do that with Dungeons and Dragons. Yeah, I know it's kind of, it's kind of silly, but a great time, and it's a, we have a really fun time with a group I'm playing with,

et cetera, et cetera. You just basically have to, it's a, it's a method of turning with the, like the, like the Daniel Son drum toy, where you kind of move with the, the shot that's hitting you so you're not bracing against it and causing more, more impact. You kind of turn with it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So you have a, some, some skill you developed to manage that. My likes are valid. I can navigate this socially. And that's not easy for everyone, for sure, right? Okay. So, Scott, do you have an example for you of where you are like, you can't pick anything nerdy? That's my new rule. Okay. I can't pick anything nerdy that you

are, like think about just your own identity development. And Brian, you can answer this too, but like at what point were you like, I am this and I'm comfortable with that. I'm here. I'm nerdy and deal with it. Yeah. And so maybe nerdy is still the answer. But like, yeah, what do you? Nerdy is, it's funny because I know what you're saying about.

We don't want to get into the weeds of being nerdy. But it is kind of a, when we grew up, Gen X kids growing up, we were picked on for this. Like if you were into, I don't know, watching Voltron in the afternoon and doodling cartoons, in the morning and whatever whatever we were into right the people people i say people but like you know jocks and stuff in school it's very different now because most everybody kind of is all doing it all anyway um but then you were teased for it and it wasn't even until i got tall that people stopped teasing me for it um for some reason height turns out physicality is a big deal yeah it works that works a lot better than people maybe realize but um so that was a that was a thing where it was like

well, this is who I am, and there had to come a time where I just sort of embrace that. And I have to admit, it was after height and went, you're like, I'm a tall nerd. I knew I could get away with it because nobody was going to pick on me. But I also felt more comfortable in the kinds of friendships that I had, like right around junior year, I had friends that were the stoner kids out in the parking lot skipping class. And I had friends who were jocks and the, you know, captain of the football team. And I had, you know, I date girls who were weird, gothy, dark art girls. And then I dated a girl on the, on the drill team.

Like, it was like a, I used to think it was a point of pride to go, I'm with everybody. We're all here. Scott's a, he's a no-nonsense. Yeah, exactly. And I used to tell myself that story in order to maintain my confidence about it. You're the person that Eadie McClurg is describing when she's explaining to a principal Rooney how Ferris Bueller is friends with all the jocks, the sportos, the geese, what does she say at the end? He's a real, he's a something dude. Righteous dude. He's a righteous dude.

I tried to be a righteous dude and I think a lot of it was just me telling myself that, you know, to help justify or whatever. And you're navigating and you're pointing out something important, Like the most sensitive, unfortunately, developmental window of identity development is adolescence when your hormones are rocking. And people, you're trying to understand what your place is in that. And so you're going to find a comfort zone. And so often, at no fault of anyone's, your comfort zone is going to be what makes you feel the most safe as a social creature that needs to survive, right? And so let's say, you know, that, so Scott, let's say your man of the people act just kept going and going and going and you spent your whole life just trying to make sure like jocks liked you. And maybe everyone still does a version of whatever their identity, you know, journey was as adolescents a little bit in adulthood.

I mean, I'm telling you, every like PTA meeting is like a middle school. I don't know. It just reminds me so much of like, oh, no, no. You know that thing. Like no one's grown up a little bit because of some of those, how do I identify myself gets developed usually during our adolescence. And that's why when some hard things happen during that period of time, it has such a dramatic impact, right?

Because it really is a sensitive window for this development to happen. So as you're, you know, going through these stages and learning different things, you know, so you get to this moment later in adulthood going like, I don't know, as things are falling apart, often. I don't even know who I am. So this loss of identity can show up in lots of different ways. It can maybe have never developed very strongly. And then for others, it may be that it became so tied up in their job or in raising their children or being a part of whatever they're a part of that if there's any loss around those things, you really can have this pretty catastrophic event and lose really a sense of yourself.

So let me just be clear real quick. This is not like depersonalization, de-realization. This is not psychosis. This is none of the broader not knowing who you are things, right? Those things are also real. And if you don't know you're in a place and you don't know, you don't feel real, there's other things going on. And so reach out to your local mental health helper because you can get some help. with that. But I'm talking more about just like not really knowing who you are and what you want.

So what happens again going back to when people, I meet up with them, they are telling me all this stuff that's going on that is the surrounding loss or the pain or the problems, right? And so often with them, I will work through, you know, hearing all that out and trying to understand it. But this theme will emerge. And it's not 100% of people, but it's when it shows itself 99% of the time people have no idea this is going on. Right. What they think is, I'm supposed to be happy. That is so universal.

And before you said the Declaration of the Independence thing, I was like, oh, yeah, it's encoded. It's enshrined. It's not just taught by every religious group or family group or, you know, pop psychology. It's all there, right? You're supposed to be happy if you're not happy, something's wrong. Now, some of that comes from pain. should tell you something's off and you need help. But more often than not, people are just saying, I'm just not happy. And here's all these reasons and surface stuff. So what I tend to like to do.

And the reason I want to talk about it is because I think if anyone's listening to this and saying, I can't quite figure out why A, B, and C, there's like a couple answers. One is there's trauma that hasn't been treated and you need help there. And that's sometimes sneaky and hard to find. And then the other, and it's obviously not all the time, but the other one might be this concept of identity fracturing, disillusion, or never actually being in place, right? So what you do for this is you also call your friendly therapist and say, hey, I don't know who I am. And they're like, ooh, get in here. Let's do this, right? Because in essence, most of us aren't aware of it. we just think we're not happy.

But when we start to dig into and just talk through what were all of the strategies you used to survive that meant you didn't develop your identity. So kids in a big family, kids who are middle kids, kids who have been the scapegoat in a family. There's like a lot of different places that you could see your family of origin, maybe creating some of this for folks. So when I say all this, like, okay, let's go back and figure out your identity. What pops in either of your minds?

Do you guys have like someone you know that you're like, oh, I could see this? It's like talking to paper. There's not a person in there. Or maybe your own kids or yourself or, you know, what strikes you? Oh, man. I do know, I'm definitely not going to out them because I know they might listen to the show. but there's somebody in Tina's in my life who who is so go with the flow

that I don't think I know their stance on anything. Like, you know, pro-murder, anti-murder? I don't know. I don't know what this person, you know, how they feel about anything. Pro-murder. Yeah. They have a, you know, they have a,

a military background, which I don't know if that, if that caused it or at least exacerbated it. But because you're kind of, and again, this is, this is me generalizing. But in the military, I, you know, you're basically told to kind of keep your, your personality out of things and be turned into a weapon to be wielded by the military. the government kind of thing. Maybe a little bit of an exaggeration there. But that might have actually had some effect on the way they're outward. I've no doubt that this person has opinions and feelings on certain things, but they do not express them in an outward fashion.

They're very, very much internalized. And I think that probably causes them a little bit of, a spark to outrage at some times or maybe even maybe even the opposite times when they should be outraged they don't get outraged and I think that takes off

people close to them. Wendy, is any of this stuff tight, you know that whole thing where Johnson's can't have silence we have to fill the void with sounds? I wonder sometimes about that

because during the last couple weeks we had this funeral and all the stuff going on all this family around and I have one relative and in-law relative who is so chill all the time. He doesn't seem perturbed by anything.

Just can sit there. And if there's silence in the room, he's more than happy to sit there and enjoy it. And he's not grumpy. He's not anything. He's just there and he's just existing and he's in the moment and whatever. And I sit there with him

and I just want to fill the space. Just like, well, let me talk about 20 things I wasn't planning on talking about. I kind of lose my mind in those situations. And I don't know if that is tied to this at all, but it feels like part of my identity is that that I have to fill silent, silence. I can't let it go. You know what? One of the most uncomfortable things for me are even planned silence is like, let's have a moment of silence for a massacre and people bow their heads for, you know, 20 seconds or whatever.

Oh my gosh, I want to die. I can't do it. It's so hard for me. It's really hard for me. Not that I want to suddenly go, potato salad as loud as I can and run around like an idiot. It's not quite that bad, but. Winning an argument with you,

like if you're Kim, winning an argument with you must just be like not saying anything and just letting you dig your own hole, basically. Kind of, yeah. And I do it on the air. I do it. You know, it's just me. But I always wonder if that,

if I have made a piece of, of me if I've tried too hard to make that part of me thinking that's like a oh that's just that's who I am that's part of my identity is a guy who's got to fill in the conversation all the time and I don't know if that's healthy I don't know what that is I don't know if that even has anything to do with this but I'm just throwing it out because it made me think of it yeah well okay we're going to trust that if it popped up in context it's probably related yeah I think those are my favorite things when clients like this mean I don't know where this came from it has nothing to do with what we're talking about and they tell me I'm like oh it has everything it's just

you don't always see it now I can imagine in terms of like the role you play like were you the family jokester yeah right yeah kind of were you lightning the mood was it your job to you know ease a tense moment or something right like you you can see where getting jobs think about jobs as an identity right yeah getting jobs as a kid in a and a family system is identity development. Ask an oldest daughter of any family. Does she feel like she has some jobs? Yeah, she does. It's called being perfect, expensive and hard. But if you think about what that, what maybe roles you took on or were put upon you, that is going to absolutely be correlated with identity. So now imagine, Scott, if I said, okay, I don't want to scare you here,

but your true calling, your true deep self-identity is a, you know, a meditator. You'd run silent retreats, you know, like this is what you should be doing. And you just missed your window because you were given a job to fill in the silences by telling us all jokes, right? That's probably not true for you, but it is going to be absolutely true for people. It is sometimes an expectation, I feel, like a family gathering. I feel this need to like, like if things are boring or quiet or, or I don't know, there's like this thing that says, well, you're supposed to be, you're supposed to be funny right now. So be funny.

I do hear that voice sometimes in my head. And it kind of annoys me because if I'm not in the mood, I don't want to be funny. You know, right? It's your comedy manager. Your inner roommate is you. Yeah. Get up on stage. Here's a mic.

And if you, if you could also provide like a second roommate to say, hey, you don't have a job here. Oh, yeah. Imagine that voice. You don't have a job here. Yeah, but what if I only have a two-bedroom apartment and we can't really fit? We can't fit that other guy. And here's the thing, Scott, clearly we have some, you know, it's hard to analyze yourself, right? But clearly, we have something similar.

Like, I have a job everywhere I go. And that job tends to be making sure people are comfortable and not left out. And, like, you know, like there's a social job we both probably feel. Now why? I don't know. And that's because we're not going to take the time to look at it. But for all of you out there who are ready to take the time to look at it, you know, you might find what is that thing that you do that has felt like a job and just imagine if you set it down. Like just imagine if you didn't make sure the family trip ran well. If you just didn't, what would happen? Or what if instead of waiting for everyone to do things for you, you just felt like you had to. a job for the first time and you did those things you know because it's it's going to be all over the map for for everyone um okay brian let me ask you do you feel like you have social jobs that you'd love to set down or any other thing like that i mean i do the same thing i'm not i'm not as bothered by silence um however you know i do recognize the fact that uh when i'm alone in the car

i'm talking a lot i'm talking like i'm boasts in the murf griff griffin show I love this. It's usually like, oh, hey, Nissan, maybe, I don't know, stay in your lane or, uh... I do the same thing. Hey, if you put down your phone, I bet more than you can make it through this green arrow, that sort of thing. My roommate, as we've talked about, is very sarcastic. Yeah, I love it. But, um, no, but I do have a, I do feel like I need and want to be the class.

Clown in any situation. It's, I feel weird when I like go to like one of Tina's work events and I'm her, I'm her plus one. And I don't, I feel like, yeah, maybe this is not the appropriate place to do the, the George Carlin artificial fart under the arm kind of thing. Right. Which I don't do. I can't do that. I've never been able to do that, by the way. I never can't do the artificial fart under the arm.

But I don't feel like I can be my typical joking self in those situations. And it does feel constricting and limiting. That's interesting. Yeah. Well, and a great way to test this for people. You know, there are people who are listening to this going, hello, yeah, my whole life, I was not allowed to be anything that I wanted to be. And I'm telling you right now, a good portion of your misery is because of that. Now, maybe your audience has like a little special caveat here because a lot of you are playing games, right? You are interested and spending time doing these things that you love when I'm sure many of you still have a mother or a coworker or a person who's going to be critical of you doing that, right?

Like you're maybe investing in some identity-based things that feel good. So maybe I'm preaching to the choir. But here is just a little litmus test to try to ask yourself, when do I ever have a, sorry, do I ever not have a choice? So, for example, Scott cannot let silence, Scott has a job when silence is around. Okay. That's a great example of like, I'm conditioned, required, something has trained me. I've trained my whole life for this and I'm here. and I can't not do it, right?

I would recommend, for Scott and others with this same problem, move to a Nordic country where silence is really, really required. To do it everywhere, yeah, social. And it will re-socialize you because you will then want to make everyone there happy instead of be the ugly American. I promise. This is interesting because I'm, I'm, how do I put this? It is a social thing for me, not like Kim and I last night, we,

It was just something I noticed last night. We were both on the couch in the living room reading. We had music playing and Kim and I are reading separate books. Two Kindles, same couch, chilling. Completely silent for a couple of hours, maybe even three hours of just reading and hanging out. And every once in a while she goes, did you feed the dogs? Yeah, I got them. Okay, cool.

And then we go back to reading. And that's not a problem. I don't feel the need to fill that silence. And I don't feel any pressure socially from her to do so. And she doesn't feel any for me to do so. So it's like this, that's totally fine, like just completely vegged together. We also talk a lot during the week, and it's not hard for us to say, we're going to have some time where we just don't, we're not talking. So why is it that that works?

Because 100% no job with Kim and full acceptance, right? Like that's. There you go. That's it. Right? Whereas me chatting with the cashier at the grocery store in Sweden was a social no-no. Yeah. And I learned that hard.

like oh this thing i've always done which is my job to make the cashier be seen as a person and feel like they're doing a good job like what that's my job and then turns out swedes are like no no your job is to shut up you're wrong to be shutting up and now i love it now i love to shut up and the first cashier we got we saw at together when we were shopping when we got to minnesota this woman told us her freaking life story yeah and all i could think was, oh, the old me would love this. The new me wants you to shut up.

But so you could, so this is what I want people to do. I want you to look in your little lives and go, hmm, where's a job? I always feel like I have. So, and then here's the anecdote, okay? So I have a friend who is a master at this of social. I made the, you know, sometimes you say words, well, we're Johnson's. We always say words we don't really mean to sound. No.

Like one time I was trying to. give her a compliment. And I was just like, I love having you at gatherings or parties because you have, and this is what came out of my mouth, you have a backpack full of social lubricants. Yeah, there you go. Yeah. I totally know what you're saying, though. It totally makes sense. Who was I talking to? Who was I talking to yesterday where I said I had a bag, I have a bag of biases. Who is that? Well, it was on DTNS. They were like, they were like, all right, Sky, what do you think about this thing at Twitter that they're going to try to do this dollar a year thing for new users? And I went, well, let me just put my bag full of biases. over here by the door, and now we can talk about it. That's nice and visual. And I, to me, that was just like, that was just the thing to say. But for whatever reason, Tom and Sarah and everybody were like, a bag of biases, how do you start saying there? And I went, no, that's just, isn't that just a normal thing you want to say?

Isn't it how your brains all work? And the answer is no. But also, I need you to picture a ghostbuster like gun that goes with the bag of social lubricant. So anyway, she has this. The proton pack with the lubricant. Yes, with full of. Social lubricant. Makes everything better. And so we were on a long walk this morning, and she said to me, so how's that pottery class coming, which I haven't signed up for, because she's always trying

to make me do something different than helping people, right? Which is great. And she is doing something very different, and she's like, you've really got to try this. And this is my challenge for everyone is to go do a thing that is opposite of this job, but that also, scratches some young person itch. So hers is she goes to an improv class across town. No one knows what she's mom. No one knows she runs this company. No one knows she has this or that. They know nothing about her. They just know that she needs to pick up the line when they've dropped a line in their improv class. So she just gets to be a version of herself. Her identity is unknown. and it helps this, like, very young part of her get to be on a stage or whatever it is, right?

So her version is that I take pottery. It's not what I need. I'm going to figure it out. But I want you guys to think about that. What scratches some very, like, playful sort of, I liked this then, which I think is why one of the reasons the Barbie movie hit a lot of nerves and cords. And, like, what is the thing I maybe don't? don't ever do right now. Like, Scott, you talking about sitting in silence and reading for three hours is like someone showing me, showing someone else something they're jealous up because I'm like,

oh my gosh, you had three hours? Yeah, it was amazing. I mean, with Carter and Korea and, you know, no kids are over and the funeral's over, so all the big, the big extended family is left town. So really, first night where Kim and I were actually sort of had the house to ourself. And it was like, the ability. I know. That is a beautiful thing. So enjoy that. But like, Maybe that's what I need, guys, is a silent book retreat. That's what I need. But anyway, I want people to think about what job they're always doing and then figure out a thing they could engage in that is their own choice, their own need. That's maybe something you dropped a long time ago that you just want to play with. So just this is not how you find your identity

100%. Sometimes you've got to do real work to do that, guys. But I'm telling you, And a baby step version of this is this, where you look to spend a little effort putting you on the list, doing something that matches things you care about that maybe you aren't doing or things you used to care about that you let go of, right? So I'm going to make you two do it. So what is something that two of you, you don't have to go sign up for an improv class, but that is going to feel a little bit like. not my social job or not my actual job or not my, um, some, something may be placed upon me by the community I was raised in or the family of origin,

you know, like easy answer for me. Totally easy. Oh, wow. Okay. Cooking. That is so outside my, my zone that I,

I just never do it. When I do, it's, it's microwave bull crap. It's just boring and I, you know, I find two ingredients. You should never hang out with each other and I combine those and call it.

dog rito and eat the whole thing and like i'm just not a i'm not a person like that at all like it's completely outside my vein and so i am i am always like ooh maybe we should do know one of those cooking classes and maybe i'll learn a thing or or whatever came on the other hand rocking it like that's the other thing is she's so good at it that i never feel the need to go well i better up my game my game is good she's in there doing it if she left me or she was gone for some reason. I'm hosed. Yeah, we know. So, all right, Scott, you're going to do, you're going to do a cooking class, but I want you to do something, it's even if it's a one-off or it's a YouTube tutorial, I want you to go weird and big and different. I don't just find a meal for yourself.

Make a Martha Stewart lemon cake. I'm telling you, it'll take you seven hours. But find something. And videotape, record the whole thing so we can have a YouTube of it because I need to watch. That would be fun to watch, yeah. Okay, so you're going to do cooking. Brian, what are you going to do? Damn it. I knew this was going to come around to me.

I mean, you are the only other one here. I know, I know. It was inevitable, wasn't it? God, I don't know. It's like, can it be like sitting down and reading a book? Because that's something that I feel I don't do it all and just need to sit in silence and read a book. Yeah. I like that.

It can. It can be that simple. Good. But I would like it to be in lieu of performing your job in some other way. So it might be that I'm supposed to go to this party and you know I'm going to end up having to help everyone feel good. No, I'm not. I'm going to say, I'm going to read a book. Oh, okay, gotcha.

All right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I can do that. Kind of fun to say. Yeah, I'm not coming over for happy hour. I'm going to read a book. Yeah. 100%.

Yeah. Don't be offended. I was told to do this by my therapist. I have to. And also, you're actually hitting something really important, which is there is a level of rebelling against the system in order to develop identity, right? Like, I like this thing, you don't,

and you're going to make fun of me for it. I mean, that is forcing my identity to grow and to feel more rooted in my own self, right? And so you're doing it. It's just, right? Because the socially appropriate thing is not to say, and read a book. It's to go and work a shift. Right, right, exactly. Like, avoid the social thing by reading a book. If I don't have any

social, like, big social things coming up, I mean, I've got concert tickets. I'm not going, I'm not giving those up. Yeah, don't do that. Yeah, we know. Stick a book in your back pocket and then you read it during halftime. Yeah, no, you can, you can do these separate, totally separate things too you're at a party and just say to yourself i don't have any i don't have a job here exactly i'm going to sit back and enjoy this and not try to be the you know hey did you hear about right exactly and then just see it's a gummy bears in florida or whatever see what happens right just be more of an observance see what happens right and then at the and then separately go read a book yeah so scott's going to cook you're going to read and neither of you Scott i want you to try that too with uh any

social situation where you feel the immediate need to fill the space. Just tell yourself, I don't have a job and sit down and see what happens. I will say this. I've been trying to, not so much TMS because the whole point is Brian and I talking on TMS, but on other shows, especially ones I guest on, I'm trying to actively, I go into them going, all right, Scott, you're going to answer questions a little more succinctly and not try to keep talking. You know what I mean?

like just be i don't mean just yes and no and then leave them hanging i don't mean yeah nobody wants that radio that's very bad radio but um like that post malone uh thing you heard the other day brian uh where he just oh yeah where he's just like yeah yeah no it's tight oh yeah no it's really tight yeah it's like yeah go no more detail there post i think he's a little stone uh also sorry this is a tight note but good news uh all the talk about him leaving utoff because he didn't have He couldn't afford the land to expand his compound. That is all changed. He's now staying.

He found a deal. He's staying in Utah. Anyway. Yay. But I am already trying to do that there. So I think I'm actually kind of got some momentum right now. And I think it would be a good time to experiment, you know. Good.

And let me sum up with this. People are probably like, how is this related to identity? It's not. I mean, it is, but it's not. And really what it is is that you're trying to reconnect. And be playful and experimental a little bit about, huh, what have I given up and stopped doing? Or what do I need to stop doing? So I have a little more maybe internal space for other things.

And there are people who this is not intended for who never think about anyone else. I'm not talking to you. Yeah. And talking to you. I am talking to those who tend to be giving and giving and helping and making sure others are comfortable. And they had jobs given to them. and that's very tied to their identity. For those who are like just straight up miserable,

you might want to ask yourself this question. Like, let's map out my identity development. I would say kids these days are way, way more aware of identity development than any generation before. And it would be great if we were all skilled and we could help them navigate it. But we tend not to be because we all tend to be just in jobs we ended up in or in, you know,

whatever it might be. and the more authentically someone lives. And I don't mean this in the hippie-diffy way. I really don't. I mean it in like finding what you care about, who you are standing up for that, letting that grow. The less cognitive dissonance they have,

the less feeling crappy that there is. It's, dare I say, a closer version to happiness. But we all got there somehow and where we're at, and that is relevant. is about just getting curious about the start and then let's mess with it a little bit. All right. So we have homework is the point. And I would like a follow-up voicemail again about someone's amazing success.

So please do. We love getting those. Help me feel good about this. Yeah, that was awesome. I love that. Feedback. We always get feedback, but some of it's like quick stuff in the chat or we hear it in Discord or it's these other places. And then I don't know, there's something not validating.

Obviously, we're doing, you know, people. are hearing what we're doing. We're getting great downloads on Thursdays. It's just, it's nice to hear when you guys have like a specific hit point for something Wendy talks about. So let us know. A follow up like, hey, I heard the episode on loss of identity and then tell us your whole story. We'll work your case. Like it could be a free hour, maybe. Yeah, a free hour of therapy. Think of that way. Yeah. I bring these topics in like you say moral injury, but you've already solved it. So that was great. But give me one unsolved. I'd be happy to help you work through it. Yeah, no kidding.

Well, that's great. We will definitely do that. We'll do our homework during the week and we'll do a big follow-up next week. I don't know what I'm cooking. This is going to be a nightmare. You cook. I can't wait. I would love to see it. A picture. Kim will probably film it because she won't believe I'm doing it unless she filmed it. Yes. I love this. I do like the idea

of like making something from the British bake-off that you have to do the math of converting converting grams to ounces or whatever. needs like 30 ingredients. Also, you need to, like, what if you were really meant to be Guy Fieri this whole time? What if I was meant to? I mean, look, I'm gangster. I got sunglasses that fit on the back of my head. I'm for stuck to be off the chain. Yeah, I'm ready to go

triple D every one or whatever. Right into flavor town. Yep, there you go. You're going to be great. Okay. Also, everyone sign up for RealSteps. Do it. Oh, yeah. RealSteps.org. Get in there now. There's more slots available. There's less slots available there than there are going to blizcon. So get in there, sign up. Realsteps.org. It'll change your life. I was talking to somebody yesterday whose wife is joining up, and she is so excited, out of her mind, stoked about this. So be like her, be like them, and sign up today at real steps.org. All right. When do you have a fantastic week? We'll see you next time. Bye. Bye now. Oh, shit. I can't hang her up. Crunch. Okay. Remove. Do it without hanging me up. That was crunchy, wasn't it? What did she do there?

Contrathian, like she hangs her phone up by putting it in a pile of leaves. It's fall, after all. Why not? It is fall, exactly. Why not? Live like the season you're in. That's going to do it for the show. Now, a reminder about what's coming up. We got Coverville at noon, all right? Well, I might be changing that.

Viewers have noticed that I've gone from standing up to sitting down. I am feeling so damn tired. I'm going to take a nap as soon as the show's over. So, no coverville today, likely tomorrow, maybe right after a couch party or something. We'll figure it out. But, yeah, this old man's, this old man needs to take a little bit of a nap. Your vaxes, the vases are hitting now, man. They're hitting hard.

The vaxes are hitting the cocktail of all those that my MRNA is changing. And it's a, it makes me, make me a little... For some reason, when you experience this, it seems right, because you're supposed to have... That means a healthy immune system is saying, Oh, is this another humble brag from Scott? No, this is me complimenting you because you, your body reacts in a way that should happen. It should say, oh, foreign objects. You know, I'm kidding, by the way.

Yeah, of course. But then I miss, I take these things. I get no reaction. And in my head, I'm like, did it even work? Right. Are they giving me a placebo? Are they given me just sugar water or something? Yeah, I don't, I feel like I don't really know.

And I hate that feeling. Plus, it was CVS and it was sketchy, you know? But still, like, the Moderna, that made me feel like I actually had the flu for eight hours. This is like, you know, I'm just tired. And I was, I did wake up at five and watch the Dana Delaney episode of Moonlighting, which always gets me worked up. Five in the morning. That's like drinking in the morning. That's crazy. It is.

Moonlight in the morning. Yeah, why not? I love it. If it was tomorrow morning, I'd be playing Mario or I'd be playing Spider-Man, one of the two. I got to make a decision. they're both getting rave reviews but I'm kind of burned I'm a little burned out in open world

so I'm feeling the Mario a little bit really yeah I downloaded like I used my voucher for Mario so that downloaded this morning and then Spider-Man's gonna download when we're done with the show Oh yeah you had that's right you did the I should have done that deal

I had the voucher so it's like yeah I didn't do the voucher so Mario I will I will play when I'm sitting up on the couch and Tina's watching Chicago Med or something like that and then Spider-Man I'll play right here on that screen right there with the the PS5.

Yeah. That's life. And then I won't get anything done. Then nothing will happen. Exactly. It's all right. You're tired. You got to take care of you.

Do some self-care, Brian. That's what you want. Exactly. So don't look for Coverville at 12 p.m. All right. No coverville today. There will be a core tonight, though. Core, me, Bo, John.

The Microsoft acquisition went through literally right after we finished last week's show. So we would have loved to have talked about that last week. We're going to talk a ton about it. What it means. Why Diablo and it up on Steam yesterday and what that means for game pass and we got a lot to say so tonight core 5 p.m. check it out right here at frogpants.tv. If you want to watch it live or wherever you get your podcast couch party as Brian mentioned tomorrow 10 a.m. We're going to watch some

I think we're going to do a freak show or creep show with another hour long creep show episode to watch just spoopy season. So we got to watch something spooky. I love the spoops. Let's do it. That's great. Play retro. is also tomorrow at 2.30 p.m. So well after that. And FilmSack this weekend, we're watching the first Chuckie movie, Child's Play, sign in for that. Also,

skim sometime this weekend. Kim and I are still working out when, probably tomorrow is my guess. So watch for that as well. It's going to do it for us. Patreon.com slash TMS is where you can support this show. If you love it, then show it. Go to patreon.com slash TMS and sign up today for as little as a dollar a month.

That's going to do it for us. Cool. Does Chuck, you have a slow, like a um is there a thing that chucky says that's like his his main catchphrase yeah his main catchphrase let's see because i can't think of one um i'm a good guy here's some here's some iconic ones let's see what they sound like uh i got some audio here i'm tommy and i'm your friend to the end hi i'm tommy shut up you idiot hi i'm Tommy and i'm your friend to the end These aren't catchphrases. Hi, I'm Chuckie, and I'm your friend to the end.

Heidi ho. Wait, why was he Tommy and then Chuckie? Are we going to learn that? Because he's when he's possessed, I think. He's probably disguising himself as the Tommy thing, but he calls himself Chuckie. I don't know. I guess we'll find out this weekend. Yeah, don't let on that I've been possessed.

Don't tell anyone. Heidi ho! I like that, though. That's his catchphrase. Yeah, maybe Heidi ho. That'll work. Heidi ho! Oh, gole-do.

Oh, boy, he's getting real close to Ned Flanders. We can't have that. Really close, yeah. Anyway, music, though. No coverville, but a cover today. What are you got? What are we doing? Yeah, let this tied you over as far as your covers for the 19th of October.

Mike Picholik, he's also known as Anonymous. Yeah, he's the guy who sends us all these goodies like sign language for dummies and funyon-flavored lays. By the way, we have a new box of Funion-flavored spicy lays. Oh, yeah. I do have mine. Mine's at the P.O. Box. It's got to go pick it up. You did. You did get it. Okay, good. We'll eat that on Monday.

He says, hello, Scott and Brian. I'm turning 57 on October 3rd. Yep, I know. Whoa. Is 16 years or 16 days late. Yep, only three more years to 60. Geez, I just love the sound of Manchester Orchestra. Thank you. And have a great day. I got to say something about him before I play his birthday jingle here. Sure, sure. Say something. He sounds 20 in his voicemails. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't like that. because I'm old and he doesn't seem old. So, well done, Mike.

Let's party. There you go, buddy. Yeah, whatever you're drinking, Mike, we want some of that. Send us that. All right, so the song he requested was I Know How to Speak, acoustic version. It's not a cover. I looked it up and I'm like, is this really the version of something else?

It's not. And so I have to go with a different Manchester Orchestra cover. But this is a cool one. This is a tribute from 2018 called Standing a Thirteen. called Standing at the Gates, the songs of Not a Surf. This is a song by Not a Surf called Blizzard of 77, performed by the Manchester Orchestra. Here is Blizzard of 77. 77 the cars were just lones on the snow and then later

tripping in 711 the shells are stretching out of control on a plane ride the more it shakes the more I have to let go now the signal's still getting a mixed up when all is doing damage control But in the middle of the night, I worry, it's blurry even without light. In the middle of the night, I worry, it's purby even without light, lie, why I know I've got a negative edge. That's why I sharpen all the others in a lot, it's like flowers, but lady you know, Pretty weeds are at me those with dogs But in the middle of the night

I worry it's blur me even without life In the middle of the night I worry it's blur me even without life Why Why I I miss you more than I knew I miss you more than I knew.

I'm a shoe more than I knew. Get more at frogpants.com. What the heck is going on?