The Morning Stream - TMS 2571: The War on Dougs

Episode Date: December 19, 2023

Pencil Head Ibbott. Digging the Dougs. Congratulations You're Jewish! Ya boo, it's whatcha do. Vermin Herzog. Wet helicopter blades. Dig Dug Jones. Tanktop vibes. I gotta move down my ding. And then there's Moth. What Kind of a Deal, Wade? Statler and Waldorf Are Never Alone. Sticking his head into his hole. Thicc Batman. Airing of the Call Now Grievances and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

TMS is brought to you daily by the support of our patrons at patreon.com slash TMS, like Kerwin Fahardo, Dylan Sainsbury, and Doug Wiedar. Coming up on TMS, pencil head, Ibit. Digging the Dugs. Congratulations, you Jewish. You boo. Sorry, you boo, it's what you do. Vermin Herzog.

Wet helicopter blades. Dig, Doug Jones. Tank top fives. I got to move down my ding. And then there's moth. What kind of a deal, Wade? Statler and Waldorf are never alone. Sticking his head into his hole.

Thick Batman. Hearing of the call now grievances and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. It's hard to believe Christmas is almost here, but at Mervins, I can still find great last many gifts for under $25. Well, I'd expect a ransom demand somewhere in the next 48, probably for some real cheese. The morning stream. Ah, that's the level of stupid we're looking for. Good morning and welcome to TMS. It's the morning stream for Tuesday, December 19th, 2023.

I am Scott Johnson. That is Brian Abbott. Hi, Brian. I am indeed. Indeed. Good morning. We're both hopped up on matcha tea shots. Oh, not me.

No, I ran out last week. My next batch is on order, so I'm a little, ah, heaven help my to-do list today without that green crack in a glass. I was going to say, are you jonesing for a hit? Are you feeling it? I'm not. I'm not. I just, I'm, you know, eager to either take the placebo advantages of it or the real actual advantages of it. Either way you win, that's the thing.

It did help me knock down some of my tools, which, you know. I'm kind of surprised by that. I didn't think it would be like that. It's unusual when a thing is promoted as having a certain effect and then actually does the thing that you were told it would do. It's nice. Yeah, right, exactly. It doesn't happen that often anymore, I feel like.

I feel like most things are lies. I turn on TV. If I have a TV and I turn it on, especially some kind of live thing, and a commercial comes on and goes, I don't know, ask your doctor if you can stick this up your A or not or whatever. I don't believe any of it. It will totally help you lose weight and won't kill you later on.

That's right. You're definitely not going to get some sort of horrible stomach cancer from what we're making you eat. Well, anyway, we're here. We're going to dive in. We have a lot to do. So much to do. By the way, I love that Fargo clip.

I recognize Dave Foley in that clip because we're two episodes in and we're loving it. Oh, very nice. Yeah. Dave Foley's character is something. It really is. there's a whole lot of like like whatever

this is what Fargo does they take these these characters sometimes their most interesting juicy bits are these weird side characters you don't really get that much exposition about it's like oh I don't know anything about this character but I'm fascinated by them every time they're on screen like all you need is a quick shot of him with that

weird freaking it's not even a normal eye patch like what is that thing yeah right oversized beige thing on this he's so weird Anyway, that's funny because yesterday, Nick and I watched last night, Nick and I watched Fargo, the movie, because that was next on our... Is that part of his, like, has never, I've never seen, wait, you've never seen Nick Edition? Yep, and he loved it and felt stupid for sitting on it for so long.

And I'm like, well, don't worry, because now you got five plus seasons, almost six full seasons of this great content. It made me want to go binge it again. And that's how much I came out of the back end of that going, oh, I should just like, as soon as this new season's over, I might go back and go, yeah, I'll watch through it again. I can see that because I feel like there's a lot,

I mean, I don't feel like I missed anything in those first seasons, but I feel like there's more stuff that I would pick up on in those first seasons. Right. And the other thing he said to me, and I think you came up in this conversation because he goes, I get it now where half these weird things you say around dinner and stuff, now I'll get where they come from when I see these movies.

And I said, really, like what? And he goes, like, I am cooperating Wade or it's my deal, my deal. And I said, yeah, Brian, Brian's the one that kept reminding me that the my deal thing was kind of the peak of it. So you came up in that context. But we were just talking about how that movie's full of these lines you can repeat. What's funny is 90% of the time, the line is not what we think it is. Right. Yeah, we remember it differently than the actual line itself.

It's the play it again, Sam, of our memories. Yeah, when she says, she says yesterday in the car, she's got Peter Stormair, Stormara in there. And she says, in my mind, she says, so that's your friend back there in the chipper then. That's what I think she says. She doesn't say that. She says, what does she say? Oh, I should have recorded it. She says something to the effect of like that was, I assume that was Mrs. Lundergard there on the floor in the cabin.

And that was your friend, or that was your accomplice in the chipper? And then something about some other body that got a lot. Anyway, she's lamenting the fact that all this is such a waste of life or whatever. And it's not even close to that line, but I'll still always say it that way. Or the closest we get is, the heck do you mean, he does say that a lot. Oh, sure, yeah. Right. But like he never wants.

It's my deal, Wade. It's my deal. He talks about his deal all the time, but he never says the phrase, it's my deal, Wade, my deal. Oh, really? Okay. Wow. But it doesn't matter to me because it's still, to me, that embodies the conversation. conversation with Wade, you know.

Got a little Arby's on you? Is that, that's still in there? It's different. He says, she, she's eating Arby's with him in the office and she gets some on her. And he, and she, and he's looking at her kind of funny. And she goes, oh, what's the matter? I get a little Arby's on me. She talked about herself. Okay. Wow. So apparently, apparently I really need to go back and watch it myself. It's really weird. I guess having a funky experience with it, but it was so much fun to watch it. I mean, I've seen it 10, 12 times. I don't know how many. times but man fargo dude oh yeah he's a funny the little guy was kind of funny looking yeah oh yeah oh you know the one thing i can't figure out the the the chinese american guy that she went to

school with that she meets downtown while she's in the twin cities oh murgy oh margie yeah that guy yeah i still to this day cannot figure out what was the point of any of that arc there's no point to it like other than it's very uncomfortable yeah and weird and you don't know really what his deal is and there's no real resolution to it he's the ultimate chick in the bucket there's nothing he doesn't nothing about that comes up later on it's just weird i guess to show that she's a you know she's a a desired uh woman i guess i don't know yeah i can't figure that part out so still still flummox just deepens her character i guess right well you know how the series every every season has a thing that alludes to almost

almost a supernatural element. Yeah. And it's on purpose. So it's the alien stuff in two, season one. I don't remember what it was. But there's always like some weird thing. And in the new one, I think it's, oh gosh, I don't want to. It might be a spoiler.

Yeah, don't get anything away. Yeah. But there's always something like that. And so maybe that was supposed to be that, like this discordant thing in the middle that makes no connective sense to anything. And that's part of the tradition of Fargo. I don't know. Yeah.

Yeah. easily could be can't figure it out anyway it was great and we loved it uh we got to talk about our favorite dugs and the reason we have to do that is we got a uh text or excuse me a voicemail about it uh this is dug who won something and then immediately called in and then asked us this question so here you go hey scott and brian this is doug from philly yes that dog from ryan holton doug the soon to be announced tv show uh comedic duo um no but i was so excited first i'm calling in, but I got a random email that said, congratulations you've won, and I'm usually about three or four days behind

TMS, and I finally listened to the episode, and I was cracking up. That was a great morning half-asses there, but Brian actually touches this. I was curious if you guys could tell me your favorite Doug from TV show or a movie. It's a weird, it's a blessing and a curse that I have this name, but Doug is a common but very oddly named name that you come across in movies that no Doug is ever a normal person in movies so I'm curious who your favorite Doug is you guys you guys do pretty good pretty good love the show though guys take care so famous famous Dougs yeah I don't know I mean I think Doug Jones would be right up there

he's he's yeah that's a good one um Doug and the slugs if we're going music wise the late great Doug lead singer of Doug and the Slugs oh yeah that would work I mean those count right because we're because movies we're talking either characters are real people yeah I know he said movies or TV oh did you say character I think his actors he said movies or TV but it could be actors named Doug it's fine like Doug Stan Hope the comedian he's pretty funny sure he's good yeah the dog Doug oh yeah Doug the dog. Yeah, squirrel Doug is real good.

I think Doug the cartoon character Doug was all right. I never saw it. I know who he is, but I've never seen an episode of that. Wes, you're right. Dig Doug, freaking great. I love Dig, Doug, but I don't know if we can count dig, dug. That feels like, that feels like it could be a stretch. Well, is Dig Dug's, how does that Doug spell his name?

Isn't it, D-U-G? I think it's D-U-G-G, isn't it? Or I may be wrong. Are you talking about, you're talking about the dog, or you're talking about the video game? The video game character. One-G. Is it just one G? Well, two Gs, if you count the one at the end of Digg and the one at the end of Dug.

Yeah, two Gs total. Two Gs total. Right. But I don't know. Yeah, you know what? He counts. It says Doug. He counts.

You know what? He's my pick. I'm picking Digg-Dug. I like him. You're picking Dig-Dug? Yeah. We don't even know if that's Dig-Dug's real name. Like that, you know, we just call him Dig-Dug.

Let's find out. Dig-Dug. Mays, Radeadeade Video Game Developed by NAMCO, blah, blah, blah, blah. Let's see. Dig-Dug. Okay, upon release, it was where we see, blah, blah, blah, I'm trying to find, here we go. Gameplay, uh, your protagonist, oh, the player controls protagonist, Dig, Doug. Okay.

That's his name. He's also, in Japan, he's called Tazo Hoary. Doesn't really roll off the tongue the same. Sure he is, yeah, yeah. And then he inflates things and blows them up and, uh, you know, pukas and figars, yeah. Oh, my lord, you know names of things I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I love that game.

Trump's Rocks. It's an amazing game. Dig-Dug 2, terrible game. But to me, to his point, to me, the name Doug is like Carl or Phil. Yeah, you can always rely on a Doug. Yeah. Yeah, name a Doug you can't rely on. I can't think of one.

And it's a great... Doug McKenzie's ago, a couple people have said Doug McKenzie. I mean, it's like saying Waldorf is your favorite Muppet. can't just say Waldorf. You can't just say Doug McKenzie. Interesting. It's Bob and Doug and it's Statler and Waldorf and one without the other is lesser. You can say Beaker and Honeydew, you can say Beaker and Honeydew

separately because they kind of stand on their own. But if you do Statler and Waldorf separately, you're losing something, right? You're losing something. Yeah. I don't need, yeah. Because I don't think you need Honeydew. You don't need Honeydew for Beatab Beaker. You can have Beaker without Honeydew. Or you have Honeydew without Beaker. They are great together. Don't get me wrong. They're great together.

but they've done stuff where you just get a beaker or you just get Benson or Bunsen Honeydue. Yeah. And they're, you know, they're some of the greatest characters of all time. Yeah, I think, I think Doug Jones is going to be mine. So you got Doug Doug, I got Doug Jones. Okay, who will probably play. We just saw him, just saw him in Batman. Maybe, like, the earliest thing we ever saw him in was one of those little skinny clowns in Batman.

Yeah, it would have been 92, so, I mean, what else would he have done before that that would we'd know about it anyway? Oh, I know. we just we saw it on film sack or when's that later what was the one where he showed up at a fair and he oh mystery men when did that come out oh right he was that was that was i don't remember that's later is that later was it later maybe it was later you know what it was later i don't remember because that's what gave us smash mouth so yeah oh 99 yeah 2005 oh 99 oh jeez so not that much later wow no but the truth is i think you're dead on. I think that's like early Doug Jones. It's as early as you get. Let's see.

Yeah. You know what? Dig Doug and Doug Jones. We've answered your question, Doug. Here we go. Yep. Yeah. And you. You dug. You dug there. Yeah. You're, you know, that immediately puts you up at the, uh, near the top because you, you know, you're, you're such a great Doug. How can we not like you? That's right. It's impossible not to. All right. Uh, the other thing that happened that was weird. Uh, I haven't talked about this much, but this cold, this head cold sinus infection thing has been shitty, but one of the side effects of it has been some really vivid weirdo dreams, most of which aren't worth bringing up here because they're just nonsense, but I had one last night that I must share.

Okay. Because you're in it, and so was Shane Maddox, aka shaved Mad Ox, Mad Cox, or however he puts his name in the thing. Spinning around with the phone, Shane. What's funny is he does a bit of a spinning in this, but in a way, you wouldn't expect. But anyway, in this dream, Brian is a gigantic pencil. Okay. So you are literally you, but your head is a straight thing and then and then shave down to a point pencil with the lead at the top and the wood. So my head is at the pencil end, not at the eraser end. I guess

I'm happy about that. Yeah, no, your eraser end still exists, but it's out of sight. It's in your, it's in your pants. My butt. Yeah. No one has to see your little eraser tip. It's fine. Yeah. A big eraser tip. I'm sorry. I get the size of right. So anyway, you're this big pencil, and in this dream, Shane, I don't know why it's Shane, for the life of me, why is Shane in my dream, is a cassette tape. And you have to constantly be inserted into one of his circles. To wind him up, because he's coming unraveled, basically. Right, right. And there's probably some, I don't know, some of you, Jan Zs are like, do what with a tape cassette?

Like, you've never heard of this before. Right, right. We had to do. Yeah. What? Yeah. But we had this thing where if your tape got out of Squampas or, you know, kind of came out or got stuck sticky or something, you'd go with a pencil into one side and you would tighten it up

by, you know, manually moving the tape over to the other reel. And it was a very common thing to do. And the pencil fit exactly right. Those, those polygonal sides of the pencil turned out to just be the perfect size for what a cassette rotary thing was, right? Yeah. And in this dream, shame was always going, oh, we got a problem. And you had to come over.

Okay, hold on. And you'd stick your head into his hole. You'd stick it in there and just go, whir, and then it would be fine for a while. And then you'd be called upon again to do your pencil work. Wow. And Shane would just,

he would just lay there like a tape and go, oh, it's bunged up again. Okay, I'm coming. And that was the dream on repeat all night. Really? Just over and over. Yeah. Shane would become unraveled and I'd have to tighten him up.

What the hell? What the hell is that? No other plot. Yeah, no plot, no plot points, no subplots, no other characters of note. It was like, I was just viewing this. And in the dream, of course, as usual, this feels normal in the dream, sort of. The minute I wake up, I go, why, I kind of had the most what the hell face on probably in the dark that I've ever had. It's like, what is going on? So I got up and peed, went back to sleep, never dreamt it again. But whatever this dream was about, dude, I don't know. So Shane, I don't know if he's in the.

chat but if he's not and when you hear this uh give us your interpretation because i'm at a loss i don't know what to make of it you know why isn't shane the pencil why aren't you the tape it's almost as if you're uh your your dreams is said oh you got a book of cards uh of dreams how cute let me really go off the rails let me let me really pick from something that's not on the in and out menu make that yeah make that particular christmas gift useless at this point yeah exactly exactly yeah i don't have normal dreams especially when i'm sick they are just psycho and that i mean it's not like it was disturbing like i didn't wake up going oh i can't believe a hundred babies died or you know right exactly it's not and it's not even

relevant to something you thought about yesterday i don't think i mean did you think about winding a cassette tape with a pencil no none of this is i'm trying to think of i've the last time i would have physically done that would have been probably 20 years ago right yeah the last time i even thought about a cassette was maybe a month ago my mom found a bunch of old cassettes that I need to convert before they go bad and they're just me running around as a kid talking so there's that

so maybe that but here's the weirdest thing yeah why wasn't Greg for Walkman involved right yeah if there's anybody that should have been part of this dream dude good point holy shit we got the wrong guy in the dream we got the wrong guy yeah well I mean

you don't want to put an unwound Shane into a Greg for Walkman but that's true But once he's been wound by Brian, then you can put him into a Greg for Weckman. Although I will say this, and I don't know how this was possible, but there was a sense in the dream that Shane's cassette embodiment, he was, he's wearing a sleeveless, cut off sleeve shirt somehow. Yeah, okay, yeah. Which doesn't make sense because it's a tape, why, but I could still see, because this is how that guy goes to Vegas. He's pretty buttoned up most of the time whenever we see Shane. He goes to Vegas.

He always wears. Like a tank top. And somehow this tape had tank top vibes. It was a tape top tank. Yeah. Tap top tape. Tape top tape. Taped top tape.

Taintop tape. Anyway, had to share. Very weird. Wow. Wow. Okay. Put it behind me and, you know. And nothing, nothing like horrible happened.

Like it was just this repeating thing of you putting your head in his hole. Yeah. Nothing terrible happened to you, Scott. Right. All I had to do is watch it, right? But you were. We were having to do this thing, and it just went on and on, but nobody died, nobody, nobody got hurt. It was just like a, you were doing him a real service, it seemed like.

Yeah, well, it sounds like it. Well, speaking to you, I got a game for you. You ready for a game? Please do, let's do, let's do something. Yeah, let's do a game. I made a game. It's not really that much of a game, but. I made this.

I made a thing that is just going to test you. Now, this is more about time than it is about knowledge. so your goal here is to answer the questions I'm going to throw at you and these are audio-based questions and then you're going to have to tell me the answer as quickly as possible any more than a second you know we'll give it two seconds for lag any more than that you get a or if you get it wrong you get a but if you get it right and we'll do it in real time and then move on to the next one

so think like the part of family feud where the clock starts ticking The, yes, the bonus round. Whatever they call that, yeah, the... What is that called? That's the thing. The super... It's time to play the view. What is that ending part called?

Well, they had the one person come out. Some goes backstage. They can't hear your answers. Right, that bit. Then you just have to stare at that mustache that what's his name has for way too long. Oh, the new guy, yeah. Yeah. I can't remember his name all the time.

What's his name? I don't know, but he, but he, but he does this a lot. Yeah. He does all that. He's like, someone says something slightly off. He's like,

Fast money. That's right. Becca, Becca Albright has it. It's called Fast Money. Who's going to play Fast Money? All right. Your dumb sisters in the back,

she can't hear your answers. Let's, I like Zoe's name for him. Steve Harley. It's Steve Harvey. Steve Harley. Yeah. You know what?

That's closer that we came. So, he did better than us. We couldn't even think of Steve. So, all right. Brian, are you ready for your big chance here? Okay.

I'm ready for my big chance. So here's the topic. The topic is, or what I've done is I've gone and found a bunch of famous film lines, like words spoken in films. And your job is to hear that line. They're very short, all of them. And as soon as you hear them, some, well, a couple of them are longer than others. But you'll hear them and then your job is to immediately tell me what movie that's from.

Okay. All right. And I think you're going to do good. And for the record, I didn't do anything super obscure or weird. here at all. These are all pretty common, I think. At least I think in your wheelhouse. So here goes. Let's start with this.

Frankly, my hair, I don't give a damn. Nice easy one. It's going to be your Gone with the Wind. Nicely done. Here's this one. You're going to need a bigger boat. That's Jaws. I love the smell of my pump in the morning. That's Apocalypse Now. I love you.

I know. The Empire Strikes back. Here's Johnny. That's the shining. It's 106 miles to Chicago. We got a full tank of gas. Okay, very good. You don't have to play the whole thing. Nicely done.

I feel the need. That's the top gun. The need for speed. Nicely done. I said it before and I'll say it again. That's Ferris Bueller's day off. Damn, you're killing it so far. Hold on.

Get to the Chabua! It's a predator? Nicely done. I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. Oh my God. What's the name of that movie? It's, and I'm all out of bubble gum. We watched it.

They live. Oh, you've got, I'll give it to you. I'll give it to you. You're on the cusp of the timer. You did good. All right, next up. There's no crying in baseball. That's a league of their own.

All right. Hold on. I'm starting to have to reach up for the buzz. Okay, here we go. You're telling me there's a chance. That's a dumb and dumber. Okay. And next one.

You're killing me, Smalls. That's the sandlot. All right. Hold on. Okay. That'll do. That's a hard one. Oh, God.

Play that again. I didn't hear it. I'll do one more time. That'll do one more time. Oh, that's the babe. He did it. Oh, my gosh, you're killing this. All right, next up.

Losers always whine about their best. Oh, shit. Um, is that the rock? Correct. Okay. Nicely done. All right, next up. I wish I knew how to quit you.

That's Spokeback Mountain? Where's my ding? I got to move this thing down. It's like so far now. Okay. Here we go. I'll put it right there. All right, here we go.

My straw reaches a cruel. Oh, that's, uh, there will be blood. Nicely done. I don't know what you want. That's taken. Gosh, German here wants to adopt the country. Ooh, um, Blackhawk down? Oh, our first.

I'm not prepared. No. That's, uh, that's, uh, that's, uh, your, uh, inglorious bastards was the answer there. Oh, shoot. Yeah, okay. Uh, so it's all right. So far you're killing it. All right, next, uh, you're locked in here with me.

oh you're lucked in here they're not lucked uh you're lucked in here with me is uh uh no i don't know that would be uh the watchman film watchman oh right yes that's uh rochecks uh next up i'm having an old friend for dinner that's uh silence of lanes and then finally the d is silent Shoot Shoshank Redemption I can't remind I It's Django is that one

Oh jango Oh of course the D is silent Yes right You did really good Three down out of how many did I have here I didn't count Let's see You did good man

Let's see One two three four five six seven eight nine Ten eleven twelve Thirteen Fourteen I don't know why I didn't count these before 15, 16, 17, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22. So out of 22, you only lost three. Okay.

So I'll take it. Yeah, 19 out of 22. Pretty good. That's pretty good. I'll take it. That's fun, right? That was fun. That was a good, wow.

I apologize for how much time that must have taken you to produce and for us to go through it as quickly as we did, but still. No, it's like good Chinese food. It takes way longer to make than it does. That's right. And you're hungry an hour later, and I never understood that joke. I don't get it either. I still don't.

86.3%. Thank you, BioCal. 86.3%. That's pretty good, yeah. That's a high B. Yeah, that's passing grades. We went to trivia last night and had one round. All right, let me see, let me see how you do with this.

Here's a round where it's about commercials, holidays and commercials. Okay. First, and I'm going to get the questions wrong, but I'll still be able to get. You know, you'll get them, you'll get the, you'll get the gist of the questions. This drink gave us the Red Santa. Oh. As we, as we know and love him today. Coca-Cola?

That's correct. Yeah, okay. At the end of this commercial from the 90s, Santa faints after saying they do exist. Oh, shit. What's the product? Oh, that's so familiar. They do exist. And then he faints.

Yeah. He sees something. Right. And then he says they do exist. Shit. Can I get a hint as to the, is it a toy? What is it? It's a candy.

It's a candy. Oh, M&M's. Eminem. Yes, that's right. He sees, they both, they both see each other and then they both. I think it's back when John. John Goodman was the voice of the yellow. That's right.

That's right. Okay. All right. And finally, because this was a three-pack. And then the third one was this product from the 80s, a commercial for this product shows the product itself performing Carol of the Bells. The product of it. Oh, Hershey's Kisses.

That's exactly right. Oh, wow. I would have done okay, but that middle one would have got me. I would have gotten big on that. How'd you do? I nailed all three. And nailed all three to the point where, the people around me

this was a team not our regular trivia team it was Tina and then it was the parents of one our next door neighbor and we're at the stage now where I'm closer to the age of her parents than I am to the age of my next door neighbor

Ah yes I'm familiar with this stage So now it's like Oh yeah I really want to hang out with the neighbors They're all cool and I think she sees this as Oh it's so cute They're really close to my parents' age and they're all getting along and it's so nice for them to have a friend. Oh, that's adorable.

But, yeah, so I, like, really quickly wrote down all three answers, and they're like, how'd you get those so fast? I'm like, I don't know, I'm fat, and I just showed it to turn it in. How quickly did you know that it was candy related overall, that that was a theme, or did you? Oh, well, I mean, the first one was Coca-Cola. So it was just holidays and advertising was the category. And then they gave us the three questions, and I was like, oh, yeah. boom boom that was that one was instantaneous now what's funny about the coke thing is I would have

I mean I made a guess that seemed logical to me given the tie that they have with coke and everything and you always see these commercials and stuff but I didn't know until today I got lucky I didn't know that that was true that the red came from that yeah exactly like Santa's the Santa's the Santa that we know and love red suit white fur ball all that stuff I mean obviously there were you know he had fur because he was Chris Kringle but he grew up in a grew up in a cold town uh yeah yeah grew up in a cold town but anyway uh but that whole red uh look red and white look came from uh came from a coca cola commercial i had no idea that kind of makes me a little sad yeah that it's such a commercial origin i mean not that the whole santa claus thing

has been commercialized for a hundred years i get that but it seems so i don't know like that's a very iconic thing to have stick and no one questions it and it all came from a commercial crazy yeah yeah i mean i've all these santa's i've been drawing which by the way i'm behind now i got to do two today i'm not that far behind but uh if you want to see him at frogpance dot com slash santi you can go ahead and check it out but they're all he's always in his red his traditional red and i didn't know maybe i need to do a green one or something just to shake it up you know i do agree yeah exactly well then he's going to look like link that's right how are the how's the uh your sickness hasn't affected your santa action no i've been pretty good although one day i had

to do two today i'll have to do two because i'm behind one but um i got behind yesterday and i didn't have time it's all nick's fault for fargo fargo time yeah well you know that's a that's a good if there's a good a good reason to not uh uh to to miss a santa it's for fargo yeah you know it's weird though okay one other thing about that movie i'll mention sure sure at one point marge in the car margie says she's again she's driving storm air yeah um it's pretty late in the film and she says as part of her thing about why would you do all that and trying to understand it

she says and it's such a beautiful day and she glances at her window kind of like she means it and there's no way that's a beautiful day for anyone it is so overcast it's snowing

it's 10 degrees below zero actually wasn't even Fargo right because it's all brainered they're in Brainerd at that point or no they're out by something called Moose Lake or whatever was right that's right and they're And there is snow everywhere.

It is, the visibility is like a car. There's a very little Fargo in the movie Fargo. Yeah. It was crazy. Anyway, just a side thing. All right. Well, that was, that was awesome. I enjoyed that.

That was fun. Good time. Super fun. Let's do this now. Time for the news brought to you by. Lim, no sugar chocolates. Yeah, Chaco Mama. Just a quick shout out to her.

I know Brian got his. She's awesome. We got ours as well. and I've been eating those. Oh, I love the new explainer card that comes with it that shows you what things are and where they're at and stuff. Yeah, it's great. It's great.

And they're all good. She's really good at this. Yeah, I don't know why she doesn't. I've asked her, and she doesn't do these professionally, right? She just does them for us and family and friends and stuff, but she makes some fantastic flavor combinations. They are beautiful. They're always, like, very beautifully, oh, tempered.

Yeah, a little stamps on them are cool, like an edible duck stamp thing that are on the duck ones. Yeah, yeah. It's impressive. So, and then in our case, she knows I'm off the shug, so she sent non-shug ones. They taste great to me. I can't tell the difference. And then she sent Kim a separate little box like yours where the- Oh, nice.

She can have all the sugar she wants. Yeah. So it's very nice. Kim needs her sugar. That's right. Give that woman sugar. You're dead. All right, I just, this is a quick note, not really a news story, but Alan Richson, you know him as the current star of the Reacher show on Prime.

Oh, okay. Which every, all I have heard about season two of Reacher is that it is awesome and everyone should watch it. I love the first season, so. Yeah, it was good. It was good. I was slow to come in there because I was bugged about, I hated the cruise movies. They were bad. Oh, yeah.

And this is, this is way better. and it's also closer to the book and everything. They were subpar, is my opinion. I think they were okay, but they were subpar. I never read the book, so I didn't have any basis of comparison. Yeah, I did like the first one had, who's the German director we all love, show me the baby. I want to see the baby. Oh, it's a, Vendender, Vindverm, Vernon, Herzog, Werner Herzog.

There it is. Vinvinder, no. Vinvender. I want to see the baby Herzog. Anyway, he want the guy in the show, the big, big dude, wants to be Batman. And I actually say sign him up. He's a perfect Bruce Wayne. He's big, actually muscular.

Yeah, a much bulkier, like a Frank Miller Batman, really. Yeah, proper. Frank Miller always drew like the big husky. Yeah. Just a thick Batman, just ready to go, just muscled up to the hill. It looks also like he could do the broody sort of. tortured, you know, thing. I think that would be great.

So anyway, I'm just throwing it out there. He would be, I can't argue with it. I think that'd be great. Not that you're done with Pattinson. You're probably not. I think you got one more in you. That's fine. Sure.

But have him grow up to be like a buff, cool Batman. How about that? All right. Let's move on to Tesco. This is a thing that Zoe you'll want to listen to because I guess Tesco's are like their Walmarts. It's a UK grocery store. It's a UK haberdasher.

if you follow everything from yesterday. Yeah, it sounds like your version of Target over there. That's what it sounds like to me. They have recalled Christmas stuffing mix because it contains moths. So yesterday we had maggots in Australia and the chicken. Today we got moths. I guess it's moths, right?

Not moths, moths. Moths. And then there's moths. Yeah. Gross, right? Do they all fly out of the box when you open it? Or are they... No, they're ground up in there, is the problem.

Ground up in there. Okay. Oh, well, you won't even notice it then. That's my whole take on this is if you don't tell me, I'm fine. Yeah. It's like the flies and the ketchup. If you don't notice. Yeah.

I mean, that's almost... I'd even take this over the flies and the ketchup. This isn't that a big of deal to me. Because Maas never seemed all that gross. They're just... Just that freaking dust, man. Yeah. That's the...

The worst thing about Ma's is the dust. Yeah. Well, this is what they've done. Why do you make a dusty insect? I know. I agree. It's a weird thing. I'm sure there's, you know, somebody can pipe up with some insect knowledge as to what that does for them, but I don't understand it. Yeah. Yeah. Why are you a dusty? Why are your wings full of dust?

How do you get so dusty? You're flying around all over the place. Yeah, that's weird. Anyway, they recalled a bunch of these in-house brand ones due to the possible presence of moths in the product, the batch of Tesco's finest apple and cranberry stuffing mix. Those are all in caps. Mislabel. Yeah. That's definitely not the finest. Not quite the finest anymore.

Maybe the finest dust graded by the wings of mods. I don't know. Unfin for human consumption. So Zoe, if you bought any of these, you can return the 130 gram packets without receipt for a full refund, says Tesco, which has apologized for this inconvenience. The batch has a best eat date before September 2024. We are recalling a single batch. Just flying off the shelves. I mean, it might be.

just a moth. We don't know. Right, sure. I guess they have to do it. If they know something got contaminated, they have to do it no matter what. Let's see, that batch that was affected has been pulled from sale, but later batches of the mix are still available in the store and online.

Cranberries, which are now seen as their traditional element of British Christmas dinner, seem to be an import from the US where the berries grow in bogs in the East Coast and have been a popular accompaniment to Thanksgiving meals. They think the moths got in there. as that part of the process.

So it's our fault. We did it. And we're not sorry because we're America. We never apologized. That's right. We don't know how to do that. No, we'd figure out a way to charge you more. Oh, well, you got our special protein edition stuffing.

I'm trying to think of the last time as a nation, we apologize for anything that we did. I'm sure we've done it, but it's been a bit. As a nation? Yeah. Have we ever apologized? Like, I think so. I mean, I know. On behalf of America, we're really, really sorry for.

for uh... like i know i know i know we've apologized before for like you know our role in slavery but that didn't come with like proper reparations it was just more of like

acknowledgement i don't know if that counts uh the only other thing would be like i don't know like the the iraq war was based on some pretty dubious evidence we didn't apologize for that i don't think

the weapons of man i mean you know we we we had one person responsible for that that didn't apologize, so... I just feel like the world could apologize more, you know? Sure, but how do you as a nation

first of all, I mean, America can't agree on a freaking, uh, no. Anything to save their life right now. No. Right? It's so, it's so, oh, you say the sky's blue? No. We say it's red. Burr.

Uh, so getting, you know, getting America all to, uh, to apologize for them. But then it's also got to be something. thing that we genuinely have to apologize for and then who does the apologize does our president do the apologizing

I assume so whoever's in charge right so come on man on behalf of America come on man we're sorry it's my lead in that's how I have to be able to do it my shitty Biden impersonation yeah I don't know we just got

we just got to apologize I realize this stuff's harder at scale so for nations and worlds and things I understand. You can't speak for everybody. But I do think the world would be better if more of us in our own circles learned how to apologize more and accept responsibility for stuff. And you know what?

There is, it takes a bigger person to admit you made a mistake and say, you were wrong about something than it does to say, well, they won't notice or up and a double down or whatever. Yeah. So be big people, people. Even little stuff. Like, did John Quincy Adams apologize for that time? jammed up the white house toilet i don't know

i don't know if he did or not yeah i don't know yeah but he would yeah you know but uh was it when traveling dignitaries were here then he could have apologized to another country then it would have worked and that would have been in i had a guy the other day at the party at the family thing and i said guy he's married to my niece he says um you guys know where the bathroom is upstairs and i go we're over with kim's brother's house and i said well there's a bathroom on the main floor right over here no one's in it he goes you

Yeah, but I don't want to, he goes, I don't want to stink up this place. Oh, geez. Okay, well, by all means, go upstairs then. Yeah. Don't go in there. I don't know. I'm not used to people telling me that, just straight up. You know what?

Well, yeah, exactly. Like, I'm about to take the biggest dump of my life, of my professional career. Where is the bathroom furthest from population? Yeah. Which I appreciate the thought. Yeah. But I don't need to hear it. I don't want to know about it, you know.

Yeah. Anyway, but also, thanks for the warning, so I won't go in there for a while. Yeah, exactly. Let's move on to this story. Florida man. We got a Florida man story. Ding, ding, ding, Florida man. What's his power?

His power is to be occasionally in our news. Just everything. Yeah. The Florida man arrested after driving a stolen ambulance to a sheriff's office. Oh. That seems like you did that to yourself, buddy. Yeah, that's see. Do you have GPS not working in there?

Yeah, what's your problem? Taken into custody after driving a stolen ambulance, as my friend Daryl used to say, to the Columbia County Sheriff's Office over the weekend, according to the Sheriff's Office. And a release deputy said that the first responders were helping somebody who was experiencing, quote, an altered mental state after possibly taking drugs on Saturday night. Oh, possibly. Sure.

Drugs. Drugs. It says, while that was happening, a man identified as Stanley Williams, age 35. aren't they always? Got into an ambulance and drove away from the scene. During the ensuing chase,

the ambulance driver struck a curb and William steered the ambulance into the entrance of the sheriff's office operation center. Oh boy, they buried the lead. He actually drove it into the thing. Yeah, it wasn't that he said, let's see, yeah, I'll take it right there

to the sheriff's center. No, he accidentally, after hitting a curb, was deflected into the sheriff's office. Yeah, to me, this is like that story going around that somebody, he t-boned the president's motorcade or something. Oh, really? Yeah, there was some, I don't know what he was doing.

Maybe it was up where he lives or his house in Vermont. But whatever was, somebody teaboned the car. And of course, you know, the thing gets swarmed by Secret Service. Absolutely. Turns out it was just a regular old accent of those, from what I understand. The problem with those high-profile ones, though, it doesn't matter if you say that or not. There is a huge portion of people who will think conspiracy no matter what. Of course.

No matter what. Just simply, totally Occam's razor this thing. Guy ran into the wrong car. Everybody's going to run with it and make it up, make some stupid story out of it. I'm tired of people. I know. It's easy to get tired of people right now. Yeah, they're really annoying me.

All right. Here is our final note, and this is more of a question for us than it is anything. Oh, love it. People like doing the Festivist top complaints and grievance. of 2020. The airing of grievances. Yes. Right. So there's lots of trends this year. Complaints were about inflation, Taylor Swift and the Travis Kelsey stuff. Who complains about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey? The kids are happy. Let them be happy. You know what it is? It's just simply, it's just overexposure. It's all people reacting. Well, sure. Yeah, exactly. And it is, you know,

that is a thing. They're, they're definitely getting overexposed. But man, they were, she was at a, oh, where were they playing? The chiefs were playing. Patriots, and they were at the Patriot Stadium, the name of which escapes me. But when they showed her on screen, in her Chiefs jersey, they booed, you know, the audience booed, which they would do if they showed anybody on screen wearing a Chief's jersey, right? It doesn't matter. Well, all these people are bent out of shape like, why do you guys have to hate on Taylor Swift? It's like, no, you go to a sports game, whatever, what doesn't matter, hockey, basketball, whatever, whenever they show somebody wearing the opposing team's jersey on the Jumbotron, you boo!

Yeah, that's what you do. Yeah, you don't, this isn't have to do, not everything's about you. How about that? Right, exactly. Sometimes it's just tribalism, and that's it. They showed all the signs, and, like, the people, you know, they'll bring the signs to the stadium, hoping they can get on TV, and one of them's like, go Taylor's boyfriend. Yeah, yeah. Half of them don't know his name.

They don't care. Yeah, so stuff like that. People are, you know, weird about that. There's also, like, Florida State football team got snubbed from the college football playoff stuff. I didn't even know about that. There's some time-honored gripes, like, let's see, bad shopping cart etiquette, public speakerphone takers or talkers,

politicians of every script. Oh, yeah. the parking at Chader Joe's, all this kind of stuff. So I wanted to ask you, do you have an air, can you air a grievance from 2023, specifically of this year? What do you have? Yeah. Lately, it seems like, listen, I know there's people in our audience who drive pickup trucks and they're the most wonderful people in our audience in our community. I don't know why it seems like a majority of the people out here in Denver who drive pickup trucks just want to get ripe.

behind you and tailgate the crap out of you until you either speed up or get out of their way or whatever. And I don't know why it, you know, it could be like a next lane over shopping, the next register over always moves faster, the next shopping line always moves faster, but it seriously seems like it's always a pickup truck. And it makes me want to, I don't know, I want to create a, bumper sticker that says your tailgating is a you problem not a me problem i feel like they have that just so they could get up close and read that yeah and uh i think utah utah drivers and colorado drivers

are this is a problem here too and i hate it it's a okay yeah it's so it's something with trucks what is it with trucks is it is it an extra dose of like confidence a truck gives you and you think you own the road you're taller than everybody else or what i don't know what it is i don't know what it is either but yeah i mean it's easy to say oh they have tiny penises they're overcompensating i know that's the stereotypic thing to say sure and it's fun to say don't get me wrong i just think it's more complicated there's something about a truck that gives someone an un-earned that makes them feel a little more powerful and like uh yeah yeah it's horse shit i don't like so yeah i don't slow down but i don't speed up i go the speed i want to go and uh if i'm in the if i'm in the left lane i'm usually

passing somebody anyway you know i try to stay in the middle lane and then pass and go on the left lane try to get back to the middle lane. But if I'm going faster than the people in the middle lane, then I stay in the left lane. I'm not going to slow down. I'm not going to get in a situation where I'm slowing down because the person behind me wants to get around me. Yeah.

I think it's a good grievance. We're keeping that one. Yeah, okay, it's a good grievance. Yeah, I think that's a solid one. My grievance for 2023 would be one that you'd think would be every year. But this year in particular, where I am tired of how do I put this

I'm tired of the mix that is social media and AI generated art because it's all it's being used as this this particular cocktail of engagement farming

and so it's always like hey look at this a hot girl riding an elephant what do you think yes or no or you know that kind of stuff where it's just like lowest common nominator the likes just to get the follows

yeah just the lowest possible hanging fruit I've had it I've had it with all that shit and it's not even so much about AI it's just like everybody trying to game whatever they think the system is

so they say things like I saw one this morning it said so and so well let's I'll make one up Taylor Swift and her boyfriend are ruining football. Agree or no.

Oh, right, right. F off. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not answering that. You won't believe what Elon Musk said next. Click here to find out. F all that business. And I know, like I said, it's been around forever. It's just heightened this year.

And I've, and I've even done, I've done a ton to avoid it. Like, I don't, I don't engage anymore in there like that, like I used to. And even then, it's still just like, so shitty. Anyway. There you go. What are your grievances at home, everybody? Send them in. Tell us. Tell us what you. We'll read some of the best grievances on the show on Thursday. Exactly. And you know what else? I'll even let for when we do call now after the break. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You can air some of your grievances right here on the air if you want. Now it's time for the airing of grievances. That's right. Put on your best Jerry Stiller and let's do it. All right. Bring your poll and whatnot. That's right. Oh, I miss Steve.

Steve and Sarah moved to Mississippi, and I miss it because Steve has, he has a festivist pole he used to bring around every Christmas that he made. He actually made it. Really? What makes it a festivist pole? Like, what, did he decorate it somehow? Well, he didn't decorate it, but he based it exactly on the one that George, or that Frank Costanza brings to the family. Really? Okay, that's awesome. It's really great. Cut it himself, did all that stuff. So that's pretty great. All right. Let's take a break, speaking of breaks. When we come back for this break, we're going to do a little call now. everybody's out doing stuff. Dan had a busy day. Couldn't be here today.

So we're going to just let you guys call in. Let's air some grievances. Let's talk about some stuff. That's all after this song that Brian had brung. Yeah, one of my grievances is bad dad jokes. By the way, did you hear about the kid napping at a school? I don't know. What?

He woke. He's fine. He woke up. Because the kid was napping. Because the kid was napping. Let's go to Nashville for this one. A little sweet singer-songwriter. from Savannah Lee. This is a single that she released

called Locked in July. It's, you know what? It's just that kind of nice little guitar pop that we all need right now. Nashville bass singer-song or what else? Can I tell you about it? Nothing.

Just enjoy it. Here it is right here. Here's Locked in July from Savannah Lee. Guess I wasn't ready to love you. But you know that I gave him my place. Spend my time just trying to fix you Well, maybe that's the reason you left

How we go from lovish to nothing Felt like just the blink of a night I was scared to lay you in but I trusted I guess my intuition was right And it feels like Even by the time that I'm sworn I'll still be looking for you in his eyes. And if that's the case, can I come back, babe, now I know why.

People see the right place at the wrong time, which we could have locked ourselves in July, July. I haven't talked to you forever. Surprised I haven't heard from your dad. You said we'd always end up together. And I'll always like the sound of that. And it feels like Even by the time that I'm 25

I'll still be looking for you In his eyes And if that's the case Can I come back Babe now nobody People say the right place At the wrong time Which we could have locked ourselves

In July July If I see you out in five years time With someone that looks like me By your side I won't forget myself For letting you go Wanting you to know

And it feels like Even by the time that I'm 25 I'll still be looking for you In his eyes And if that's the case Can I come back, babe Now I know why People say the right place

At the wrong time Wish we could have locked our souls in July, July. what it is. It's that really weird girl who's always coming over with her priority translations. I'm supposed to get jello and broth. By the way, have you met this guy

on Fargo yet right here? We're supposed to get jello and broth. You met that guy yet? I don't think I have. No, we're only two episodes in. All right. You'll get to him pretty quick. he's a very it's a small stupid throwaway roll but i can't stop thinking about him anyway hey brian who was that song one more time and who made it sure that was a song called locked in july that was her live performance of that song she's released two versions of it

that's her live performance that's savanna lee and you can find out more about her search for savannah without the h at the end and lee lei i g h very very nice all right you guys are going to do a little bit of this now now now how call now how call now used to work because there was a phone number you had to call, but that quit being very convenient the way it worked. And so now we use Discord. And the way that works is you got to send me a DM, a little private message. Not a BM, but a DM. Yeah, don't send me your BMs, okay? I can't do anything with them, all right? I'm not like the penguin from Batman Returns where I put it on my mantle or whatever he claimed. I don't do that. The stuff you flush down the toilet, I put on my

mantle. Yep. Man, he was, that's a, that left a little bit of a mark on me this viewing. I don't A little bit, yeah. Yeah, something about it. Anyway, we're going to start bringing people in. It's like we got him in here from our old pal Amy. So she's always welcome. Whoops, for some reason, I didn't add her. Let's try that again.

Okay, there we go. We're adding to the call. She's on her way in. Let's see what kind of grievances plague her this time of year. I mean, look, you live in the American South. Nothing wrong with that. But I'll bet they're, you know, cultural or regional things you could complain about. but perhaps the state of puppetry is annoying her.

I don't know. The state of puppetry. The state of puppetry. She's not answering, though. I don't know why she's not answering, but she's not. So maybe we don't have her. Oh.

All right, Amy, we'll come back to you. How about we check in on, uh, why, why I want it? There we go. All right. Let's try. Let's see. Who else is called in here. Oh, you know who we haven't heard from in a while is Ian.

I am sci-fi. Oh, yeah. Cool. Bring him in. Uh, it'd be funny if this work, because we can never get it to work when there's a contest at hand. Hello, Ian, you're there? Yeah, once again, I deleted it from my phone

and all of a sudden it showed up on my desktop. Oh, weird. That's weird. Well, there's no prizes on the line. We can get Ian like that. In an instant, baby. Yeah, that's great. It's been, I feel like it's been way too long since we've chatted with you. How are you?

And do you have any grievances for the year 2023? I'm doing well. I'm doing well. I'd say my only grievance is, is people that assume that because I'm Jewish, that I don't care about Christmas, because shockingly, a lot of my friends are not Jewish. So I kind of, like, default into Christmas, whether I like it or not. So, like, you know, so many, like my, my girlfriend celebrates Christmas, you know, a lot of my friends and family, you know, celebrate Christmas. So I'm like, all right,

you know what? I, I may not think that he was anything other than a carpenter, but I will gladly accept your presence. Sure. No, look, we have so, my dad used to say this all the time. You'd go, ah, this pagan bull crap, that's what he'd say about Christmas every year. It's like, ah, the pagans, I've run it now. It's all pagans. I don't know why he said that. But he was always on and on about the pagans. And what he really was talking about was, this is, you know, all of it, the tree, the fat guy in a suit, bring and get, like, all that's, it's all bullshit we've laced on top of it to make this palatable for everyone, you know? Yeah. We can all enjoy gift giving and,

and whatnot, but yeah, do you actually get heat, though? Do people go, well, you're Jewish, so I'm sorry, you're not able to. Yeah, what are you doing celebrating? You can't sing that song. It's a Christmas carol. Yeah. More people than you would actually think. And for that matter, after Christmas songs were written by Jews. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. That's true. A lot of cool stuff that we do, that we don't even think about are Jew created. That sounded terrible Jewish origin. Ian, do you have a jelly donut for Hanukkah?

I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I don't really have any good donuts around here, though, so it's either like junk it or nothing, but when I'm, when I'm, when I'm, when I'm, when I'm, uh, there's a really good Jewish bakery that, uh, that makes the jelly donuts for, for Hanukkah and I always make, I didn't know that was your tradition. So there's a jelly donut thing. Yeah, and they have a, you guys have a, there's a great name for it, but I, it was one of her tribute questions last night. And thankfully, uh, one of the, the people that we play with is Jewish and she's like, just give me the answer sheet. I'll write it. It's like, it. It's like, it's like, Suhramon or something like that. Sufganyote. Sufganyote. Thank you. Yes. Wow, that sounds good. They looked so delicious.

I had to look them up. Oh, yeah. Sufganyote. Yeah, I'm going to capitalize on the 132nd Jewish that I am and you'll have a jelly donut. Yeah. That makes you, you're more Jewish than that George Santos guy claimed. The George Santos. Well, he's Jew-ish.

Yeah, that's right. Yeah, exactly. Whether I like it or not, I'm a hundred. percent. I did 23 and me and it came back and it was like, congratulations, you're Jewish. You're Jewish. Does it say congratulations or does it say, Oewe? Like, is the

sheet that is. Yeah, how stereotypic is your results from 23 and me? There may have been a, so you Jewish. But we'll see. I don't know from Jewish, but you're 100%.

That's great. Well, happy season to you, and may all your grievances be resolved at some point. thank you much thank you much thank you we'll see you soon always good to talk to Ian he's a good guy he is literally sci-fi that's the important thing to remember he is he is literally says he would have said that except it's too many characters for a lot of things that's right uh y'all are listening to call now and we have on the line coming to us we're going

try amy again she said she had a weird thing but you began that with a y'all are listening because if we get amy that's that's uh that's your thing oh yeah it's true i won't sound like i'm a utah guy just trying to place southern so that's good right uh Well, she's still not answering. Something's up with her. By the way, happy birthdays going out to Alyssa Milano and Ken Marino. This just popped up in my, like those little things that pop up on the corner of your screen notification. Alyssa Milano and Ken Marino.

Ken Wink. Ken Marino. Why don't I know who that is? Party down. He's the, uh, oh, he was the loss in the first season. I love him. Uh, not kids in the hall. Um, no, other kids in the hall.

Was he this late? No, he wasn't kids in the hall. it might have been the state the state i keep saying the slate the state i think you're right i think it is the state he's the one guy from the state that didn't go do nine one one reno nine one right correct yes i don't and i don't think it's because they didn't get along you just didn't fit in the the thing or something uh all right well that didn't work with amy again well we'll try that again later uh let's try dr calhoun he's he's trying to get in sure uh let's see what the good doctor has to say uh today here on this edition of call now uh

Dr. Calhoun, are you there? Hello? Unmute your thing if you're muted. You might be muted. And if you're muted, that's okay. Wow, like his artwork. Yeah, what is that? That looks like Sergeant Rock.

Yeah. Or Agent, or what's the Fury one? Oh. Agent Fury? Is that it? No, that's... I mean, Nick Fury? But he doesn't have the little gray temples.

Who am I thinking of? Not Agent Fury. There's another, like, Army. based hero guy. Yeah, that's what I thought. I thought Sergeant Rock was the one I always think of. You must be doing it. You must have it right. I cannot think of it. Oh, that's him.

Sergeant Rock. That's totally it. Is that Sergeant Rock? Yeah, DC guy. Oh, hello. Hello. Oh, there we go. Now we can hear. Hello, the good doctor. Yeah. I was on first to talk for some reason because, yeah. Well, normally, you know, whatever, you got a game to play or whatever.

You don't want people. That's, uh, my, it's, uh, my icon is from the Doom comic book. Oh. Oh, really? like doom that's doom guy there is that who that is yeah oh wow yeah okay wouldn't expect that that's cool oh how is that comic book is it good terrible is that is that your grievance by the way is that what is your what is your yearly grievance dr calhoun oh what do you want where do you want me to start you can go anywhere you

want with this anywhere you want to start um people who um You know, grocery stores should have lane markers in the aisles, so people will subconsciously keep to one side and not block the middle of the aisle. I agree with that so much. Like, a lot of places should. And if there's an area where you wait and it goes up to, like, for checkout people, right, for people checking out, necessarily at a grocery store, but where there aren't lanes necessarily, but just a wall of checkout people, it should always be a form one line. and the person at the front of line goes to whichever of the four is available next. Not let's all line up behind each of the four. Oh, man.

You guys are on the same. Do you mention on this? Local Walmart has sort of done that. They remodeled and basically they put in a billion self-checkout and like four actual checkers. And it kind of sucks because people just kind of congregate it in the front of the line. It's like, that's open over there. Go over there. And they just, I'm like, why are you standing?

and in the middle of everything, blocking everything. Yeah, they just want to wait at that one. Come on now. Yeah, the greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing us that we want more self-checkouts because more people, they get hung up, they go, I don't know what's happening, they ain't taking my car, this watermelon won't scan or whatever. And so they're constantly having to, like, slow everything down. It's too much.

We've gone too far. Swing it back the other way, old man, Walmart. Exactly. Listen, if you're, like, when you're putting stuff in your basket, if things don't have a a UPC code on them, then you are not getting in the self-checkout line. That's right. Give us the whole Amazon way of doing things with a big grocery store. Go in, put the stuff in your car, walk out, and automatically charges you on your way out.

I love that. A lot of people don't. People get nervous about it. Sam's Club has the checkout with your phone. Yeah. I don't have Costco here, but Sam's Club, I love it because this time of year, it's pretty much the only place I'll go to Sam's Club because I'll check out on my phone and laugh at the people standing in line waiting.

check out i'm like what are you doing you have smartphones every time we have dudes on the show other dudes i always like to think because there's three dudes now talking on the phone uh-huh um we we all right oh you're brian also so we got two bryans oh right yeah uh when you guys go to a costco or a sams club he's just go straight to the TVs right that's what i do oh for sure whatever that whole electronic section i want i don't usually no really i do it every time I can't help him. I'm drawn to it. If I'm in there with Kim,

she's like, all right, I need to find this and this and this for the kids. You go that way. I'm going right over here. Look at stuff I'm not going to buy.

I just want to see, and I want to see these speakers. Ooh, there's a new ring combo bell thing that maybe is better than the one we have. You know, like all that kind of stuff. I don't know what it is.

At the Sam's Club here, a lot of times they have someone standing trying to sell your cell phone plans, so I'm usually like trying to avoid that. Like, don't talk to me. I don't want your, uh,

pays you go cell phone plan or whatever the hell it is yeah i don't want to engage you kidding me forget it uh well thank you for airing a grievance and may your doctor may your practice continue to thrive your doctor practice that you got going there uh let's see if we can try amy again sure uh i don't know this shouldn't be any different than when we usually it's it's a great running bit if it doesn't work it's uh i agree uh it says like usual it's just ringing her oh i think it works she oh there we go she's lit up our amy you there? Have we lit you up? Oh, am I there? Oh, you are? Yes, we can hear you. You're very quiet and far, but you're here.

Oh, sorry. Oh, you're better now. Closer to the microphone. Much better now. Welcome. Thanks for calling, call now. It's nice to have you. What's, uh, do you have any grievances for the year? Well, yeah, I have a grievances for how Discord doesn't want to work on my freaking phone. I had to run upstairs. I was downstairs in my studio, trimming some potry. which I thought would be kind of fun. Like, oh, I'll call into the show while I'm working on pottery. That'll be fun. Oh, we could have heard the wheel and stuff and all that.

Yeah. The sound of pottery getting cut. Yeah. Trimmed. My wheel is very, very, very quiet because the way it works, it is not based on a belt. It doesn't spin with a belt. It has like magnetic servos that's... Oh, cool.

So it's super quiet. That's fan future. Yeah. A genetic servos. I don't even. I feel like you're living in the future and we're all just trying to catch up. Yeah, it is, it is a really cool wheel. I got the, I got the cool wheel. So, yeah, no, the thing I wanted to talk about, I have thought about this story a number of times,

but it just kind of never fit in with my segment. So I wanted to call in and just bounce this off of you guys, see if anybody else does this. All right. So imagine if you will, you've come, you've been out all day, you know maybe maybe you had to go to the grocery store late or something like that but you come home and by the time you get home it's it's time to go to bed right so you go you go upstairs you still got your shoes on you got you know unless you're one of the people who like takes their shoes off right at the door which in which case this story is not for you but uh you know so you still got your shoes on you go upstairs you're doing all your uh evening ablutions and whatnot and uh and you have to go the bathroom. So you're there, you're doing your business in the bathroom and your shoes are still

on, right? But you've already pulled your pants down and whatnot, but you know you're going to change out of them. So you finish up in the bathroom, do you pull your pants back up to then walk across the room? Because you know you're going to be, yeah. Right. Or do you just like do the, do the little pants round your ankles waddle over to where you can take your shoes off? Number two. Number two, that's what I mean. I would do. Yeah. Like, spoiler alert, I do that second thing, and Chuck makes fun to me for it all the time. Oh, no, I think that's a normal. You're in your house.

Like, it's objectively efficient, more efficient than the other way. I'm like, why do I pull my pants back up just to, you know, either that or I guess I could take my shoes off while I'm on the toilet. But then my shoes are in there with the toilet, and then I got to move them. You have to pick them up anyway. It's easier to pick them up when they're on your feet. Yeah. I fully agree with this. Now, here's the one thing I would advise against, especially men, listen to me very closely here.

My daughter's friend, I don't know if I've talked about this, but her friend from high school and college that she does a lot of art with and stuff. Her name is Alicia, and she is now temporarily living here while she's in between moves. So she's using the one room we had as sort of a spare. And she's lovely and wonderful and helpful and just a great, she's a perfect house guest, just very nice. We love Alicia. Anyway, I get pretty relaxed in my own house, and I forgot that Alicia was with us one day. And I came out of the bathroom with my pants are pulled up, but I've got the fly and the button just wide open. Because you're about to change into something else.

I'm going to change, yeah, exactly. And I'm holding it up my maybe like my pinky on one of the loops or something. And I just come sauntering out there with like, you know, the big wide open freaking shipping lane. right there just and she walks out of there and goes oh and I went map and I turned around the other way and went back so you know

just be careful just saying yeah yeah it doesn't mean you're a creeper it just means you weren't thinking and put your pants on right yeah oh Chuck Chuck actually just came in here it said I do not make fun of you

I say that it's cute so there you go I have there's Chuck's grievance is that he made fun of me right nice It is kind of a cute idea Shuffling across the room I mean it might be it's a view of your old age

As you grow older together You're both gonna have to shuffle around a lot I'm a shoes off at the door guy anyway This doesn't happen Are you like anybody's house Like let's say you're going to someone's house You've never been there before Are you a shoes off immediately?

Well it depends Like all right So I'm going to somebody else's house And I look over I'm usually not changing clothes In their bedroom So but We won't have to do that

But I look and see By the door If I see eight pairs of shoes by the door, then I know it's a shoes off kind of house. And they'll always say, oh, don't worry. You can leave your shoes on. It's like, nah, that's fine. I'm right.

I'm right taking them off because I don't know what I've stepped in. We never know what we've stepped in in life. I know have two pairs of shoes that are specifically in-house shoes. So they're clean, they're soft. They slip on. They're not, you know, they don't have big knobby rubber feet or whatever. They're just, I forgot the name of the brand. I'll have to talk about them later, but I wear those around.

the house because they're clean because I like the feeling. I like feeling like I have shoes on. If I feel like I just have socks on, I feel like my day hasn't begun. It's weird. I feel, you know, I don't mind, yeah, slippers are great. I guess it's like that. It's like a pair of slippers. Yeah, same kind of thing.

You're also, your feet will stay warmer. Like, so in these winter months and whatnot, you know, you stay warmer all together if you actually have some kind of shoes on. Even if they're just slippers or whatever. Yeah. And if you have... I'm with me, though. Like, I feel like my brain kicks in and says it's time it's time to focus and do stuff do you know as opposed to my socks yeah

I'm like oh it's time to sit with my steam deck and uh yeah that's funny watch tv and whatever socks bare feet if I'm working I'm working like if it's uh yeah it's it's it's funny though if you have a little four-year-old uh you know grand baby visiting in the house all the time you got to be careful if you leave your good clean shoes in the bathroom he will probably accidentally pee on them. He won't try to because he's very good. He's very good. He's pretty good aim.

But, you know, they're boys. Sometimes you fly a little left or right and you don't want your shoes in there. Sometimes you're trying to do the helicopter and just don't get work out. It never does. And the blades are a little wet. That's right. Exactly. The blades.

Sometimes your helicopter blades get a little wet. This is fantastic. Now I have a new grievance. that phrase. All right. Amy, I hope you're having a great holiday season

and I think we, don't we talk to you one more time or are we done with you until next year? I think you're done because there's no show next week. Oh, right. We're off next week.

Yeah, we're going to do some like maybe couch party stuff and some other things. It'll be something. Hopefully we'll see you around and all that. Oh, yeah. Merry Christmas to you and may Chuck get you things

that you want and need by now. Cool. She says, all right uh we're going to do one more we get time for one more and it looks like oh well i guess we have to well if we must if we must we're going to add a certain irish girl to the proceedings oh no irish spitfire iris spitfire everybody it's claire hello claire what do you what do you up to what time is it over there how much of you drank what's going on it's only 527 and i'm doing Unfortunately, I'm still working.

I'm doing the cover shift at the minute. So only three drinks in at this point. Yeah, you're only a few bottles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just three bottles, yeah. Three bottles of gin on the wall. I know you've got complaints. Do you have a thing that happened in the year where you're like, oh, that's the worst grievance?

Initially, when you were like, oh, do you have a question? I was going to ask about, like, you know, Christmas movies. But I do have a handful of grievances, can you believe? Shocked. The um, hovering over Christmas, capitalism in general, um, and all the ones previously made were very good points by all. Sure. Um, but no, I want to know what you guys, um, have as like your staple Christmas, um, like, not even movie, but like show that you have to watch. It's like something you watch every year or, yeah, something like that.

Well, for us, it's, it seems stereotypic at this point, but diehard gets watched every Christmas. Yes. Really? Yeah. Every year. We haven't watched it yet this year, but if it falls on the TV, it falls on the TV. We're, Tina's of my favorites are Elf, Christmas vacation, die hard. And we were talking last night, we're like, we haven't, the other than the sound of music, which we watched because I hadn't seen it, we have not watched a single Christmas thing.

Oh, this year? Wow. Yeah. And I feel like, I mean, you know, we're. what, six days away. We need to do something about that. Yeah, you need to get ridges on Christmas. So, like, the one, the thing that's most purely Christmas around here is probably elf.

We do elf as well. But we always watch, um, uh, the, the Muppet Christmas Carol every year. Oh, yeah. You know, it's been such a long time. That's when I should, that's one I should just put on the list because I haven't seen it in 10 years, maybe. I love that movie. I think I watched it either last year or the year before or something, so like recently enough. but before that yeah it's been too long

and there's like ones where you kind of like oh I need I need to watch that and then New Year comes around you're like oh I didn't watch such and such Christmas movie and then you're like I'm not going to watch it in January it's a good time though it's a good time to celebrate Michael Kane's retirement

from acting and so you get to see him in one of I think still one of his best roles he's freaking fantastic in it and his 60 year wedding anniversary good lord that guy's been married for a long time for the same person really yeah he's he's awesome that way Um, yeah, I, other than that, though, I think we kind of try new stuff here and there.

Of course, Kim likes all our stupid, you know, Hallmark crap. Are you going to watch the Lifetime Christmas show with the sex scene? I mean, I will if given the opportunity, I'm not subbing to that service, though. What? Is there full nudity, frontal nudity? I don't know if there's nudity. I don't know if there's nudity, right? It's probably just like, you know, cozy bed shit. Yeah. Cozy bad shit.

I don't know. I mean, it seems like you wouldn't get as much publicity. Yeah. If you, yeah, Brian, you make a good point. But I don't think Hallmark shows. Well, it's a lifetime. I'm sorry, not Hallmark now. Lifetime.

Does Lifetime do like tasteful nudity? I don't know. Like light soft core, soft core. I'm definitely curious about it. Not from a titillation standpoint, but more of a like, how are you going to totally do that? I got to see, right. How do you work this into?

And we found the plot is exactly. you know it's big city blah blah goes back to her hometown and falls in love with blah blah local blah blah yeah good actors or is it like porn star actors because me and the guys

we watched we watched Big City cable repairman goes back we watched the Christmas horror parody of the Grinch called a mean one or the mean one and it was like

porn star level acting like it was horrendous. It was like funny towards the end. It actually wasn't a terrible, terrible movie. I think the Grinch is, the Grinch is open, not open source, but like open domain or public domain is it? Oh no. They had some very carefully

ways to get around saying the Grinch or Dr. Suss. So instead they had Dr. Zeus as in like the god. And any time they went to say the Grinch, someone kept like sharding and interrupting being like order for Mr. Finch they just

kept coming away with it. Wow. Thanks for the reminder of a thing not to see this year. I'm going to avoid that movie and never watch it in my life. Well, you know what you should seek, Scott, since you were looking for like horror movies that Kim might like is something

I watched with the hashtag Gore guys for their patron. Now, is it's a wonderful knife, K-N-I-F-E. Wonderful knife. Um, and it has what's his beak in it and, uh, your woman. Um, so, you know, a great cast. Came out this year. What's his beak and your woman. Yeah. Oh, hold on, hold on, hold on. Justin Long's in it. Justin Long's in there. He was in, uh, yeah. It must be what's his beak. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Joel McHale. We like Joel McHale. Oh, I love Joel McHale. Yeah. It was actually quite good. And it's only just come out and shutter. Oh, it's a shutter original. That's what it is. Okay. Here it is. Uh, yeah. Yeah, it seems like it might be fun.

But it's definitely got the vibe of Hallmarky because you want to punch Justin Long in the face. I don't think that's a spoiler to say because it's pretty obvious. No, but Monica is a little upset with you that you stole her recommendal. Oh, I'm sorry. Now you guys are going to have to go to couples therapy again. Well, Claire, hope you have a beautiful. traditional Celtic sort of, you know, Christmas time. May Father Christmas come and take a big old dump in your fire pit, whatever.

I don't know how it works over there. They do weird stuff over there. They do weird stuff. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm going to get roped in to go into like Midnight Mass or something, but I'll figure away. Well, hopefully, maybe it'll be like the Netflix Midnight Mass. It'll be fine.

Maybe I was going to say, hopefully it's not like your Netflix Midnight Mass. It's going to be more fun than the real one. I can tell you that. Yeah. We'll have fun. Ho, ho, ho, ho, and all that. and don't drink too much. Thank you for hanging out with us today with our call now.

Appreciate it, everybody. It's always nice to talk to a few familiar faces. We're going to get out of here. What's going on with DJ Axes? A vinyl question? Oh, yeah. He wrote in and told me, so you remember we were talking about vinyl

and the heavy weight vinyl, like 180 gram vinyl. So he says, so about the heavier weight vinyl that we used today, I used to work in a mastering studio, and there's a limit to how, loud, how loud music can be on a record because of the depth of the groove. It determines the loudness of the track before it gets to the amps and such. Heavyweight vinyl gives you more plastic to work with in order to pack more information per groove now.

So you can, you can add some depth and add some volume to it because it's thicker. The vinyl is thicker. I had no idea that was even how that worked. Like, the depth of the vinyl impacts how much sound you can cram in there? That's crazy. I know. It is. It's wild.

Also, he's loving Disney Dream, sorry, he's loving Disney Dreamlight Valley, but he's not enjoying the scramble coin aspect of it. Oh. And to that, I say, give it time, DJ Axis. It took me a little while to love that. And now I'm like, oh, okay, I get it now. This game's pretty darn cool. All right. It has grown on you.

It has totally grown on me. Yeah. Real quick here, it's so funny to me, because even now, even after your explanation, There are certain technologies that are now old that still seem like magic to me. And they would be vinyl records feels like magic to me. How is that needle doing anything? Like, it's insane to me that that works. Right, right.

And it works for a long time. How is the vibration of the grooves, the little nicks and ticks inside the vinyl causing sound to go up there. And then also, you know, old school TV, meaning over the air, antenna receivership of, you know, I don't know, good times or whatever. How did that, how that never, to this day. seems like magic to me that that's even possible. Now, if I go to you and say MP3 music or digital streaming, I know how all that works. I know the technology behind it. I understand packet architecture.

I understand how you deal with load and all this. Like, that's nothing to me. But these old ways, like audio tape, how the F? Analog stuff doesn't make any sense. Digital stuff, piece of cake. We can always explain digital stuff. But analog stuff, how the heck? I know.

And that's the stuff we grew up with. You think we'd be more pro about it. dialing a phone by turning a little knob and like having that yeah having that actually call a number exactly how did it know that stuff blows my mind really yeah yeah microwaves what the hell's going on there how do they work all right well that is going to do it for today's show and i want to thank our patrons for helping us out this december if you're feeling generous or want to just give a little back to your favorite morning show it's a great place to do it go check it out. Patreon.com slash

TMS. We thank you for that. Without it, we have nothing. So please support us today. And thanks to everyone who does. That's going to do it for the show. Brian, we do have a show tomorrow and Thursday. It's normal week for the rest of the week. That's right. Yeah. And a play date at the end of the week.

Surprise earlier, open your Christmas present early play date on Friday. That's right. Stick around for that. Bob Decker, aka Scooby Dad, wrote in and said, Hi, I have no witty S&B greetings. I've made 69 trips around our star. And I'll leave it up to the cover master to pick a song to honor the occasion.

You guys in the tadpool have helped me get through a couple of what seemed to me hard times. Love you guys. Please keep on being you. Scott, could I get an m sausage followed by the horn. Ah, guy. Yes, you can get this one. Sausage. Okay, there's one.

and then you got Oh, not that one There he is, that's the real guy Also 69, we gotta play this Happy birthday Good, good Lord man Sunned by an actual 69 year old Yeah, very nice

All right, so he said basically A cover of any Beatles song Well, I mean your birthday It is the 69th birthday And so It feels like this is the natural one to pick Performed by Azada Bee and Holmes Ives

for the Beatles re-groved album from 2005 in honor of your 69th. Here's Come Together. Oh, shut up, dude. Don't worry. I thought you were going to do that when I'm 64 or whatever the hell that song. Yeah, except that's 64. If he was 64, I totally would have picked that one.

I know, but I was sure because it was so close. My brain would not let go of the idea until you said that. That was perfect. All right. Here you go. Enjoy it. Have a fantastic freaking birthday. What a great milestone that is to hit.

I hope we all make it there. And we'll see you guys all tomorrow. You know, I'm going to be able to be, you know, we're going to be. I'm going to be able to be. I'm going to be. I'm going to be. I'm going to be. Here we're going to be able to be.

Here comes old fat how he come, grooving up so laid down. Two, two eyeball, he's one, holy roller, he got him down to his knees. Got to be a joker, he just do what he please. I'm going to be able to be. Here comes a flat-up he come, proving up slowly he got two, two eyeball, he won, holy roller, he got hand down to his knees, got to be a joker, he just do what he please. here come so flat-up he's grooving up so that he died two-two eyeball he won

holy roller he got and down to his knees Got to be a joker, he just do what he pleads. Come together right now over me. Here comes so flat down, he's a proven up so late, he's got two, two eyeballs, he's one holy roller, he's got a hand down to his knees, got to be a jokeer, he just do what he plays. Over me Come together right now, come together right now, come together right now Oh, me.

No.