The Morning Stream - TMS 2604: Hayley Shillelagh

Episode Date: February 22, 2024

I'm a Dr Matthews Kind of Guy. Piercing The Dill Pickle. Dark greetings. Rusting Bitch Face. No, Crown, No Chili Dog, and No Lt. Yar! Craig Batman. The Steve Bartman Incident. Potato For Now. Occasionally Stained Steel. A Chat Full Of Karens. Thongs of men. Healthy by accident. Starbucks Proximity Rules. Face to Face Coin Slots. Dredging The Shallow End Of The Pool With Wendi and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's TMS without Patreon supporters? Well, imagine the worst place you could spend your time, and then multiply it by 50. Come be like Dennis, Steve Rees, and Nick B, and sign up at patreon.com slash TMS today. Coming up on TMS, I'm a Dr. Matthews kind of guy. Piercing the dill pickle. Dark greetings. Rusting bitch face. No crown, no chili dog, and no lieutenant y'ar.

Craig Batman. The Steve Bartman incident. Potato for now. Occasionally stained steel. A chat full of Cairns. Thongs of men. Healthy by accident. Starbucks proximity rules.

Face-to-face coin slots. Tredging the shallow end of the pool with Wendy. And more on this episode of The Morning Stream. It's exclusive. It's limited. It's only at Leemers in Concord. Through exclusive arrangements with American Motors Corporation, Mr. Leamer offers you up to $2,000 cash back. $2,000 cash back when you buy any qualifying Camachi pickup in stock.

$2,000 cash back. $2,000 cash back. $2,000 cash back. The morning stream smells like apple pie. TMS, it's the morning stream for February 22nd, 2024. I'm Scott Johnson with Brian Ibit. Good morning. Hello. Good morning. Good morning.

Good morning. Good morning. You know what? I love Thursdays because it means we're on the downslope, right? If the week is the hump and Wednesday is the hump day, Thursday we're on the downslope. We're heading towards the weekend. And I do love the weekend. Yeah. But is the weekend a ramp and a jump, you know, like a ski lift? Oh, yeah. I see you're just saying. No. I feel like. like it's the pool at the bottom of the water slide. It's really what you're going for.

It's the slide is fun, but you just want to end up in that pool at the bottom. Yeah, and then you can go up to the top again, do it all over. Exactly. Then Monday, you get back out. You start, you stand there like a fool sitting there dripping as you're in line with all the other folks waiting to get back on the slide again. Yep, that's what it is. So don't worry. No one should touch each other up there.

Everything can be fine. so I had a bit of a fake out yesterday at the dentist was supposed to go in at four it's a kind of a late appointment but that was the best they could do so I went in at four to have this crown taken care of and then figure out what was wrong with this upper tooth right and uh dentist is there everything's fine we're hanging out doing whatever and um he goes well all right looks like you're obviously the one that's broken we got to replace that the other one it needs some kind of build up and then I don't remember what he called it is some other thing that has to happen i'm like cool all right i'm bracing for it let's go get your needle out right it's time yeah yeah and he goes so when do you want to do this and i go oh i thought we were doing it now yeah exactly that that's what the that's what the appointment was for like uh that's what i thought i said i thought we were doing this now and he goes he goes well normally this late because this is about two hour deal uh to get this all done uh and maybe a little longer depending on it quickly you numb up.

So, you know, we'd be doing this well into 6 p.m. 6. 6.30, that sort of thing. And, you know, do you want to really do that? It felt like more they were asking if they really wanted to do that. You know what I mean? Right, exactly. Like, if you really demand it, we'll do it. But we're really trying to steer you into this being a, we kind of get the idea of what needs to be done so he can make an appointment for and know how long it's going to take to do it. Yeah. He was basically.

treating this like a you know this is a check not a checkup but this is us determining a plan and then the plan would involve another date and uh yeah well first of all it sucks that i mean there has to be part of you that's sitting there going oh good they're not they're not doing it today but then another party that's like oh crap that means now i have to wait and they're going to do it you know in the future like i i have to sit there and dread them doing it at some point in the future yeah part of me was like oh i kind of relaxed yeah yeah but i have to do it again and I kind of wanted to just get over with so I was tempted to say well can we just do it freaking now and I want to be done with this but instead I kind of got the vibe and went all right

yeah but what's her next thing and she says well we've got a someone canceled we got an opening on Tuesday and I said all right take Tuesday and so it's Tuesday at 2 p.m. and I say and we're going to do both teeth then she goes oh yeah all good and I said great let's do it so that was kind of annoying but here's the most annoying part we're working on the paperwork and stuff and she's estimating what's going to cost and that's all a nightmare and anyway we're talking about all that and she says um so you're a dr matthews only kind of guy and what she means by that is there are five dentists now at this thing they've expanded big time and i have it on my chart that i just want dr matthews i don't really care about all the new people and it's and i and i said yeah i'm a and they have

this on my chart and i said yeah i'm i pretty much just do him i'm a doctor matthews kind of guy i'm a dr matthews kind of guy she put his name's jeremy so it's on the thing it says jm on my chart which just means he prefers that if he can sure and so i said yeah that's true i go look i've been coming to him since like 2004 so i may as well keep going to him right and she goes she goes ha ha ha oh that was my birthday and i went oh your birth wait what are you saying she goes i was born in 2004 i'm like shit are you kidding me she's 19 oh my gosh She's not even had her birthday. She was not even 20 yet.

She's 19 years old. She looked, I don't know. She looked like she's in her 20. She looked older. And I said, well, you're just not even, you're a thousand years. You may as well be a thousand years younger than me in terms of like generation. Like what, what do 19 year olds? What is, what even are you people now?

What do you do? What do you do you guys up to? You know, what do you, what do you, how do you feel? I didn't ask any of these things. Is she, now, is she your hygienist or, you? Is she just behind the counter making the appointments for you? She's just like an assistant. What do you call it?

If he had done the work, she would have been the side chair. Yeah, like helping with the, yep, give me the, hang that suction thing over his cheek. Here, can you hold this while I tap this in with a hammer? She should make sure I have a big rubber blocker on the back of my mouth the whole time. Yeah, the dental damn deal. Eat that effing thing. Oh, I do it too. I feel like I can't breathe.

It makes me freak out. Same here. Yeah, I don't like it. It's bad enough. Like, you know, sitting there with your mouth wide open and then trying to like, trying to use that little muscle that controls whether you breathe through your nose or your mouth. And then it's like, okay, I think I got it. It's like a delicate balance that feels like, yeah, well, at least for me, I have to focus on it. Because if I relax it, it's probably similar to why I have to do a sleep happening.

I think I have a soft palate. Very soft palate. And if I relax it, then that, that just wants to go, yeah, almost feels like I can feel my throat cutting off air. Yes, yeah. I hate that feeling so much. And then if my nose is at all stuffy, I'm effed because I can't. Oh, yeah.

And at one point, like, last time I was on there, I was kind of breathing through my throat. And that must be weird for them because I'm going, oh, God, yeah. Yeah, well, and they're a little mirror on a stick. gets fogged up and they have to keep, you know, they come and rub it, clean it on a cloth or whatever and put it back in and then do it pull it out. It makes a little

sound when they do it. Yeah. Yes. But anyway, it was kind of lame because I was really hoping to be over with this and I don't want to think about it anymore and now I've got to think about it until Tuesday. So anyway, Tuesday, I'll go back. Tuesday, you know, that's another thing. I'm kind of surprised

I get these things. Well, all right, so we need to schedule an appointment. Let's see. Our next available thing is going to be August. looks like like wow yeah usually it's bad so sometimes i because he's in demand i usually i have to wait sometimes but this cancellation opened up and that's why tuesday so i got lucky but even then it would it would probably been another week or something he still he would have figured out a way but still it was just like oh we're not doing it now how why why do i feel both relieved and irritated at the same time you know yeah so then i went out and got poor choices and

food and went home. Oh, no. What did you get? I just got a burger somewhere. It was fine. Yeah. But, you know, wasn't a, wasn't a 24-dollar Argentinian bison burger, though. No.

If I could have, I, I mean, you made me hungry yesterday. I would try that. I'm going to take a picture of that damn thing the next time I get it. And it's certainly not going to be, you know, we do, we go to this trivia place every couple weeks, and I get this burger maybe once every couple months. Yeah. Like, every eight weeks or something. But next time I get it, I,

got to take a picture of this thing it is a work of art yeah man they have like they jam a big like a knife through the top of it and pierce a dill pickle that's like the crunchiest best dill pickle this ain't no pulling it out of a classen jar i think this guy i mean the dude one chopped you know he's a good uh he's a he knows what he's doing yeah that's real bison i guess right real bison yep they don't just call it that you know it's It's like bison, kind of like crab at the sushi place that's spelled with a K. Oh, right. Yeah.

Yes, California roll contains cucumber and or avocado and crab. By that we mean cod, torn up to pieces and flavored like crab. Ocean whitefish. Yeah, ocean white fish. That's been pinkified on one side. Sounds so much better than it is. Yeah. Well, anyway, we got a couple of things from some folks at home.

Let's read these. Yeah. Let's hear what that. I have to say. Sven from baseball camp wrote in. I love his name. He's also a supporter of the show, and it's always fun to see his name.

It's about that down with the sickness thing where disturbed had to cancel a show. Oh, yeah, yeah. The headline. He says, dark greetings, Scientology, and burp. All right. Oh, so much to just parse in that first sentence.

Just the salutation has a lot going on. Dark greetings. Yeah. Dark greetings. And Scientology and Burp. Scientology and burp. You're not even the guy that burps that much. No, no.

Well, not on camera. Yeah, and neither of us are Scientology, folks. It's not like it has anything I've read ahead. I've cheated and I've read ahead his email. And there's no Scientology or burp related to what he says. Usually people, they do the S&B thing. Anyway, all right, let's get to this. I'm starting to assume that Sven might not even be from baseball camp at this point.

It may not even be really what he is. Sven might be AI. Oh shit. This might be, hey chat, GPT. Write me a greeting to two guys whose initials are S&B and come up with different words for it. That's about right. Scientology and burp. That's about it.

That's about right. Well, Sven, he, uh, Sven says this regarding news episode or the news story in the episode 2600 with the down with the sickness headline. I had a similar golden headline opportunity when I was an intern of my local paper, some schmoe named Craig Batman. He says, yes, that is that guy's name. Craig Batman. I wonder if it was like Batman or something. Probably Batman.

Yeah. It's almost worse. Do you remember Steve Bartman? Yeah. Steve Bartman. Steve Bartman. The guy who will go down in Infamy as the caught the ball that would have been the home run winning ball for the. Shit, was it the Yankee?

I can't remember who it was. Do you know one that dipped way out in front of the player? Yeah, he had the front row seat, and he dipped way down and caught the ball. Oh, right, it was a foul ball. Was it a foul ball or was it a... I don't know. I remember a guy scooping out, way out, and everyone was mad at him. Everyone was mad at him because if he hadn't had done that, the Cubs would have won.

Cubs would have won, yeah. Oh, and the Cubs never win, so you can't take it away from them when they're going to win. Right. Anyway, he said, okay, so Craig Batman, yes, that was his name, was thrown in the clink for drunk driving. And so the headline was Batman arrested for DUI, found its way to the top of the police section. Also, the show has its moments. Potato for now, Sven from baseball camp. See? Potato for now.

Yeah. He's a guy. He talks in riddles and strange cryptic sayings. I don't know what's going on with Sven and baseball. camp right but we like him so keep these coming there sphen and we hope baseball camp's going well for you right uh haley right haley sorry i was i jumped over i really quickly wanted to get the the details on steve bartman because we got so much information thrown us that none of this seems correct and then i'm reading the chat saying oh is the cubs nope he was a foul ball

it was this well so what was the deal during it's the cubs versus the marlins uh um post season, 2003 postseason, and he caught a fly ball and potentially affected the outcome of the game. Chicago was leading three zero in the eighth inning, holding a three games to two lead in the best of seven series. Marlins batter had a fly ball and a foul territory in the field. The outfielder, Cubs outfielder, was about to catch the ball. Yeah.

But Steve Bartman deflected it, and then the umpire judged the play to be not not to to be fan interference, but if he would have caught the ball, it would have been the second out in the inning. The Cubs would have been just four outs away from winning their first National League pennant since 1945. Wow. He has an entire Wikipedia entry called Steve Bartman Incident. The Steve Bartman. How horrible would you feel in your life? If you had a Wikipedia page called the Scott Johnson Incident. I would hate it. It would be awful. It would dog you your whole life. Exactly. I mean, maybe he deserves it, but it says, okay, if you go down a bit. There's something about the destruction of the Bartman

ball. The loose ball was snatched up a Chicago lawyer and sold at an auction in 03. Dude bought it for 113 grand. Holy shit. Oh my God. Wow. Then it was publicly donated by special effects expert Michael Lentary.

In 2005, the remains of the ball were used by the restaurant in a pasta sauce. While no part of the ball of the... It says no part of the ball itself was in the sauce the ball was boiled and the steam captured distilled and added to the final concoction

that's weird it's on the ball is on display at the Chicago Sports Museum right now so there you go they've got the seat like they have a photo of the seat on this Wikipedia page so you can avoid sitting in that seat I just remember seeing the video of them

cutting back and forth from the game to this guy to the Steve Bartman just sitting there poor guy in his front seat there like just wanted to go to the game just want to catch a ball didn't you know probably obviously at regrets would have sat on his hands for the entire eighth inning if uh if he could have yeah i mean what's he doing now is he just like oh where's steve bar does he still have to like i don't know hide or stay in relative obscurity and get out of the limelight like i feel like i'd be terrified to go anywhere near a cubs

fan oh my gosh god yeah yeah i think you'd have to i think you'd move yeah he probably probably did he's probably in another country probably changed his name all that stuff uh security aben uh says security had to escort him out because fans were getting violent wow geez jeez i don't know what's worse um oh here it is he released a statement after saying he was truly sorry added had uh i had my eyes glued on that approaching ball uh the entire time was so caught up in the moment i didn't even see moises alu uh much less that he may have had a play. Well, yeah. It feels like he's, oh, interesting. Many fans associated the Bartman. 20 years ago, wow. Yeah, it's been a bit. Many fans associated the Bartman incident

with the Curse of the Billy Goat, which was this 1945 World Series thing where his pet goat got kicked out of the Wrigley Field in the, in the World Series in 45. I don't know, whose goat was it? Oh, Billy Sane. So ever since then, the curse is the Cubs will never win. because of the goat. Because of the curse of that goat. Oh, my God. This is an amazing story. This whole thing's great.

It really is. Wow. I feel bad for Steve Bartman, who now goes by Sean Blastman. He's a different guy. Craig Batman is what he goes by now. Craig Batman. That's great. Thank you for that, Sven.

Here's one from Haley. He goes by Sven from baseball game. That's right. Oh, yeah. Good point. Now the baseball thing makes sense. Haley wrote in, this is about how time Flies. Hello, Scott and Brian. I was listening to Tuesday's show and I cannot believe that the Pumba incident was eight or nine years ago. That is correct. Nine years to be exact. I got a little emotional and realized I had been a regular listener since about 2011. That was when we started. You guys have been in my life for so long. I just wanted to say I really appreciate you and everything you do. Love, love, love, love the show though. Haley. Well, thanks Haley. Oh, thanks Haley.

Haley or Haley? Just for you. We'll keep doing it. Would you say Hallie or Haley? I'd say Haley. Okay. It's spelled in a way I've never seen. Yeah, I mean, it could be like this would be one of those where we call her Haley and she writes back and says no, it's pronounced Holly. But if we start calling her Holly, she'll say, nope, it's pronounced Haley. Yeah.

It does feel like we're screwed either way. Like the L-E-I-G-H, definitely a Lee at the end. It's like Raleigh, North Carolina. So it'd be like Holly. Right, exactly. Right. Holly, if we're pronouncing it like Raleigh. But her parents may be weird and that's fine too.

you know they're the ones that named you uh in very sure we're not the first people ever to uh wonder how to pronounce oh i guarantee it um we got a oh she's in the chat and it's haley it is h okay confirmed awesome hi haley haley with the g h is her uh screen name all right hely good oh that's great even her username is referential to this whole thing i love it yes uh it should be your your screen name really should be haley rhymes with bailey Haley rhymes with, yeah. Or Shaley or Kaylee. Shalali.

Yeah, that's it. Shaleli. Your name rhymes with Shaleli. Chaleli. We got an uncharacteristically short text from Jeff Sire. Yeah, we did. Usually these are like four paragraphs in very detailed, but it feels like this was, it was from his phone.

He probably dictated it. That guy's just a mover and a shaker, dude. He's got shit to do. He's in charge of really important stuff up there and tire. It is. Nuclear power stations. signs that are basically putting holes in money. Like that's what we see him doing.

How else are they going to put holes in their money if they don't have Jeff at the controls? Exactly. Well, he says this. This is about the cyber truck and it's rusting problems people are having. He says, Scott and Brian, rust is oxidization. Oxidization is oxygen in the air reacting with the surface molecules of an object, a copper roof that turns green, for example. Oxidization of copper.

that's what we are said that's sorry what we call rust is oxidization of iron says jeff okay but it's still rusting right it's still resting cyber truck's still resting the whole idea of a stainless steel thing is he doesn't rust i think unless i've been wrong my whole life or rust um it's not rust proof it's rust resistant i think is is what uh somebody issued a clarification as they should call it occasionally stained steel. Because stained less steel promises something. Stainless, not stain-free. It's not stained-free steel, Scott.

It's stained less. Less stain, but still stained. But if you said, I live a, yeah, I guess it doesn't. I guess it can be. Sugar-less or sugar-free. Definitely two different things. Is that true? I don't know.

That sugar-less meant no sugar. Sugarless, yeah, it means it's your entire product less the sugar. oh right yeah no that's what it is it's mine in that case the meaning is minus the thing right so it is minus the thing right so unless i mean i could see steel minus it's less the stain i could see musk or some executive at tesla getting up and going well it's just less i mean i can see them doing that but they if they did i'd be irritated i'd be more irritated anyway uh well thanks jeff for the lesson in that and please keep that giant turbine you're in charge of safe for the rest of the world keep Keep that thing running.

If that thing stops, the core, the Earth's core starts going the other way and who knows what's going to happen. And we can't have that, you know? No, no, we can't have that. All right. Folks, gentlemen, ladies, it's the news. It's time for the news and it's brought to you by. Had to do the robot there. Coverville normally would be today, but I've got a lot of stuff going on today that's

going to push coverville out a week so uh most of it is writing questions for the pond the game show that we're doing tomorrow with our tadpool we've got our 16 contestants i've been confirming with all of them that they're going to be ready and able to uh talk on the air well 15 of them scott are you good for tomorrow yeah i'm all good yeah okay all right now all 16 contestants are confirmed and and able to talk on the air um it's uh yeah it's it's going to be a lot of fun be, you know, be patient as I try this bullshit out and make sure it goes well, but

that does mean the coverill is going to get pushed out a week. But, you know, nothing really happened this week in musical history anyway. It's a dead week. Last week of February, nothing. Nothing. Nobody big died. Right, exactly. That's actually kind of a change.

That's a nice change, though, because we haven't had, we've had nothing but deaths of, like, famous musician people for, it feels like months in a row. Yeah. Yeah. And suddenly no one died. That's great. Well, Mojo Nixon Oh, well, I forgot about that. If you don't have Mojo Nixon, then you're stuck, good, you some fix it.

Yes, I'm actually not sure who that is. Who is that a person? That is the dead Dead Kennedys, a dead milkman, bitching Camaro. Oh, oh, yeah. Wait, he died? No, Mojo Nixon died. Wait, no, that's what I'm asking us, who's Mojo Nixon?

I don't know who that is. Oh, he was, he was a, I don't want to call him a novelty song singer, but he had a big hit with Elvis is everywhere, Elvis is everywhere Elvis is everything. Elvis is still the king. I don't kind of remember that. Maybe Dr. Demento or something.

Dr. Mento definitely played him. He had a song called Judy Tannuda is pregnant with my two-headed love child. Oh, what? Oh, it is punk wreck. I'm sorry, he is punk rock girl. Not, yeah, yeah, yeah, not a bitching Camaro. Okay.

Yeah, well, I learned. and two new things today. Yes. All right. Well, let's get to the news. Got some news for you. Pork-flavored coffees, Starbucks' newest China pitch. Oh, yes.

Pork-flavored coffee. Pork-flavored coffee. I'm having their coffee today. I had a coupon for free Starbucks. Nice. I said, I'm going to get Starbucks instead of my usual mom-and-pop place, which is usually not mom-and-pop. But I get there, they have a new olive oil coffee.

So this is olive oil, oat milk, Latte. That sounds weird. What's it tastes like? It's, it's got a little bit of a little bit of a savory balancing the, I don't have any sugar in it. It's just a latte, so there's not really sweet to balance with it, but it's really good. Does it have like an oily consistency?

Oh, you know, I haven't looked inside. Like a, what do you call the butter coffees people do? What's that called? Yeah, the, the cannonball? What is that? No, it's. Something bullet or? Bulletproof.

Bulletproof. There it is. Bulletproof. Yeah, it probably has like something like that But you know how with the butter coffee You see like a little oil slick at the top With this one, there's none Oh, I don't see a little oil

Olive oil is good for you Yeah I assume it's you know Regular amounts, nothing too crazy It's got a low smoke point though So it can really easily burn your food Oh, well be careful then Maybe you can dip your bread in it

If you add a little vinegar You know And then you'll be like a, you'll be you hear of your family. Dr. Calhoun says olive oil and the coffee is some keto adjacent stuff. Okay, that does make sense. Oh, is it?

Well, those keto people, they don't talk to me. I don't know what's going on with those people. I mean, the funny thing is I eat quite, I kind of adhere to a fairly keto diet these days, like no sugar, a bunch of other stuff. But am I really trying to, and I don't call myself a keto person? So every once in a while, I'm like, oh, these keto people and then I look at my stuff and go,

oh, I kind of am that now. Just not for the same reasons, you know. Yeah. I'm not trying to achieve ketosis or whatever that is. No, but you just, you're, you end up doing it because of the things you're doing to. Yeah, just ended up there. Healthy for, healthy by accident.

That's right, exactly. Except for my shitty teeth. All right, moving on. This pork flavored coffee coming to Starbucks, newest China thing. Who doesn't want a little brazed pork with their coffee? Well, nobody in China. that turns out. Starbucks or S. Bucks if you're trying to invest in them on the stock market

is betting on the unusual combination with a new drink released in China to mark the lunar new year, dubbed the abundant year savory latte. The brand describes it as having an interesting flavor. I feel like that's dangerous. Yeah. As a descriptor. You know what I mean? Like I need I need more information. Interesting because that interesting is usually when somebody says interesting. They don't mean it's good. Oh, this is very, this is interesting. Yeah. You're painting. It's, uh, it's interesting. Yeah. Yeah. That's the song you wrote. It's interesting. Yeah. Well, you did your, your, your new cabinets in your kitchen, very interesting. Yeah. Right. Yeah, I don't, I don't think this is a good way to do it. But maybe over there, never, never good.

Maybe over there it means something more. But anyway, the drink combines Dong Poe, braised pork flavored sauce. Hmm. Boy, they're really selling me. with espresso and steamed milk with extra pork sauce and pork breast meat for garnish according to the Starbucks delivery app the drink is priced at 68 yon which is $9.45

cents. Whoa! That's even expensive for Starbucks standards. Yeah, it's a little high. They just had two more open up near me over here that are literally not a full block from each other. Yeah. I don't understand. stay in the proximity rules with Starbucks.

I don't either. It was one of my favorite and one of the only onion articles that I will forever remember is a headline that said, Starbucks to open Starbucks in bathroom of another Starbucks. Yeah, that's how it feels. They're everywhere, dude.

And you can sometimes be out on a street downtown and there's a Starbucks. And then you walk into a little shopping area that's very short, little strip, and there's a Starbucks right next to it. And then the hotel you walk into who has a Starbucks in the in the freaking thing like I I just feel like at some point we're going to have this dystopic future where every building has a Starbucks in it

was it demolition man had it wrong Starbucks is going to win the fast food wars yeah they had it all wrong Taco Bell will give it a try but yeah it's really good to go to Starbucks we've actually had a couple to close down around us that because there are some other great options red silo coffee right around the corner from us is fantastic Oh, you love to see that. That's good. I like it when they get challenged, you know. Exactly. Yeah. Stop the spread, man. They're the kudzu of the restaurant world, basically. Here in a... Pace of species.

Hey, Carter, what's that coffee place you and mom go to? The one on the way to work when you go in? Cremma. Is that it? There's this little place. It almost looks like it's on State Street. So if anyone's in Salt Lake and you're in the mood, I don't even like coffee. It's not my jam at all. But I had something there that I really liked, and it's the only time I really liked one.

So for whatever reason, that place is good. It's called Cremont. It's on state, and I think it's between here and, well, I don't know where on state street. Probably Midvale, something like that. Sandy, maybe. I don't know.

If you're in Utah, check it out. Oh, that reminds me. I went to this new sushi place near us. It opened up. Had a bunch of reviews in Instagram. people are showing videos and stuff and I was like oh let's just right over here let's go get this it's like just north of the lake here so Kim and I went and a few concerns I go in they sit us down and these chairs have open backs so when you're sitting in the chair not the chair the bench the back is open and there's a little bit of

barring on the side to kind of hold your shoulders there but if you're a little slim person I think you might fall through it you're just like basically like get get folded in half kind of yeah that's how it like if i turned a little this way i might go jutting into it or something but then that what makes that worse is the people behind us it's the same open back so at one point me and some dude are touching backs yeah oh i gotcha so like we're just like and if he's got a shirt that isn't you know like fully a little a little too small for him you you're gonna there's gonna be some skin to skin in some upper butt to upper butt contact. Yeah, I don't want our coin slots in that proximity.

It's not cool. You can pass a quarter from one of you to the other. Yep, just boink, and there it is. So there's that one thing. So that freak me out a little bit. And then when she said, you want drinks or whatever? She goes, we're waiting for our liquor license. It was a place just open.

So they didn't have all their stuff yet. She goes, so we don't have any of that. And I'm like, well, that's fine. I don't drink. She goes, but we do have all of these and the Coke products and this and that. And I said, oh, Coke Zero. Love it. Let's get a Coke Zero.

Kim goes, I'll just have water. Okay, cool. They come back, it's not a fountain thing. It's not, it's a glass with ice in it and a can. Yeah. Now, normally this is not a problem for me, except that was $2.50 for that can. And that means no refills, right? No, exactly.

One and done. One and done. The same thing happened to be at a FFL place this last weekend is all. Saturday night, we went to a Fafel Place, and they gave me a can of Diet Coke. I'm like, oh, okay, all right. And same exact thing, probably about $2.50. And a thing in my head is like, savor it, Brian, because this is not, you're not chugging this down and getting a refill. You need to treat this like a really nice beer you got somewhere and, you know, slowly take it.

So this happens. And then I'm like, oh, man, am we even going to like this? Like, I was starting to worry. And then I saw the menu and the menu has had a lot of selection and seemed good on the face of it, but expensive. And I'm like, well, if they're going to be chinty about the. Coke, how are they going to be about that sushi? I'm going to get, this is going to be weird. So I was convinced that they were going to bring me some tiny rolls and they weren't

going to be that good and I was going to spend 15 bucks on a roll and I was going to be sad. Instead, they brought us some of the best sushi I've ever had in my freaking life. Nice. Yeah. It was so good. So all is forgiven. Your weird back chairs and your single Coke can, it's fine. Your sushi was amazing.

And I did one of those flaming ones. It was a house, house recipe. roll so it wasn't like when I could tell you what was in it it was something they made anyway had eel and all the stuff in it but it was one of those they wrap it in the metal put it on the thing kerosene on the plate and then

when it like sets the whole thing on fire and you just waiting for it to burn down smoky after that oh it's so good but I almost I almost caught my sleeve on fire that's a whole other thing anyway I forgot the name or I'd tell you guys what it's called and you guys could go there

well they're all preoccupied on refills And here's the thing with refills. Like, you bring me a cup that the fountain poured cup that I know I can get refills, I'll probably, I'll probably only still drink one cup of soda. But when I know, when I see the finite can and I know that's it, it's like, oh, that option all of a sudden is not available to me. There's some mental thing that happens. Yeah, no, I agree.

I like knowing I could and then not, you know. Yeah, exactly. Like we go to, with the Alamo Draft House, I always get, they have Coke Zero makes me so happy. So I'll get a Coke Zero. And because I don't want to have to write something up in the dark, while it's still light, I'll grab one of their little cards and I'll write, may I have a Coke Zero refill, please? And I'll just keep that card with the intention that, you know, three quarters away through the movie, popcorn salty, whatever, and I need some more to drink. and I've already downed my drink, that I'll put that card up. I hardly ever use it.

I should just keep one with me. Just take it wherever you go. Yeah. And then, you know, when I go, I'll just pull it out my wallet. Here's my, please refill my drink. Boy, you cried wolf in the chat says Coke Zero making someone happy makes me a little sad. Why? That's a wonderful soda.

They finally nailed the flavor and it's sugar-free. Exactly. It's sugar-free, and it doesn't taste like. ass. Yeah. What's your deal? It's great. And JCT Media is correct. Coke Zero add a lime. It's perfect. Oh, yeah. No kidding. And if you get the right soda fountain, like at a place who knows how to get the combo of the syrup and the carbonation right is the best. I don't need your regular Coke. Freaking forget your regular Coke. Exactly. Dirtbox says it tastes like ass. Oh, now that's right. That's why I don't. I think you're talking about these stuff about Dieter. Coke kind of tastes like ass.

It does. That's why I don't read the chat. I forgot why I don't read the chat. Yeah, exactly. I got to stop doing it too. They're like, it's sometimes like a bunch of cairns. It can be a little.

It's a little carony. It's a cairn pool. Hey, check this out. After eating, after eating Chapolet for 500 days. Oh, and we should mention, if anyone sent us pork coffee, we would try it on the show.

I don't know if you can do that. Speaking for both of us, are we? Oh, I know you would. You would try it. I would totally try pork coffee. Unless it was thick, then forget it. Yeah. But anyway, here's another story.

This is a good one. After eating Chipotle for 500 days, an Ohio man. Why are they always Ohio lately? Feels like it. Like Florida's got a real challenge going. Anyway. Ohio turning into the new Florida. Yeah.

Ohio man says he is ready for something new after 500 days of straight Chipotle. Yeah, like new. sheets, new pants. Yeah, new life. But he's been a lot of new things in his life that need to be replaced. New family, new bathroom. It says Bruce Wayne ended his streak. His name is Bruce Wayne, by the way.

No way. So we had Craig Batman earlier. Yep. And now we got Bruce Wayne. And Chipotle, Bruce Wayne. Ended his streak Wednesday after grabbing a meal at the Tiffin Chipotle branch. Wayne ended his streak in style. I love how this article just ignores that the guy's name is Bruce Wayne.

I love it. I know. They just go on like it's nothing. It's like, oh, his name's Bruce Wayne. This is KATU.com, Katu.com. Yeah, it's just some local Ohio news thing, I think. Just Ohio, yeah. Let's see, he ended his streak in style, according to this, by donning a bat suit.

Oh, well, there's the reference. Okay. And ordering mini cassidias because leather isn't very forgiving, he says. I think it's the 500 days of Chipotle that I'm. aren't very forgiving. It's a, no forgiveness. The one day of doing many cassidias isn't going to be the straw

that breaks the candles back, Batman. I mean, that's two years. I mean, basically two years. Oh, yeah, I'm sorry, Mr. Wayne. I couldn't even call him Mr. Wayne with a straight face. Oh, hello, Mr. Wayne. Welcome back to, Chipotle. Hello, Mr. Wade.

Can I bring you some many casidias? You want to watch the world burn? Wayne broke the record for the most consecutive meals at the fast food restaurant in December at 426 days. Chipotle pledged a $4,260 donation to Seneca-based financial assistance for cancer treatment in honor of the $10 a day average that he spent over the 426 days. Only $10. That's not bad. I don't know. Prices are these places are all over the place. Yeah, actually, that is $10 a day average.

I don't know. I don't know what you can get at Chapo. I guess it's been a while since it's been to a Chipotle, but what can you get at Chipotle a side of guacamole that would bring the average below 10 bucks if you're doing a meal a day there? I don't know what that would be. Yeah, it's weird. I don't even know the last time I ate there.

I don't really go there. I don't mind it. It's fine. No, we've got a Kudoba that's closer and there are, it is seriously the Armageddon to the deep impact. It's basically the identical thing. It's a little better, I think, Kudoba is. I like it slightly more. I like a little better, too, and they don't, they basically, you know, whatever, oh, you want some pickled jalapeno's great.

You know, they don't charge you for any additional things you put on there. I think for the most part, Chipoli doesn't, but if you want guacamole, for example, you're paying extra. Oh, yeah, you'll always pay more for guac. So, yeah, it's a good, good comparison because the, you know, Armageddon's the better movie, but only slightly. Yes, exactly, only slightly. but the fact that that 426 days broke the record so there was somebody who went 425 days before this guy yeah and they we don't know who that it was probably uh dick grason i don't know who did it was mr freeze yeah he had the beat mr freeze's thing before he moved on he even says here at the end

uh mr wayne says it isn't the end of one adventure it's the start of a new one where do you think he goes next really he's going to do panera bread for 600 days exactly that's good to be yes 501 days of panera or uh bad idea xaxbys i have a friend that goes i think he had a streak going i don't know if it's still going but he had a streak where he was eating at um in and out once a day and i don't know if that's still a thing for him or not might be i just couldn't do it oh i I couldn't do it, dude. I can't. I need some variety. I can't do it. Yeah. I can do, so I have the Panera Coffee Club deal, so I'll go there. Basically, I pay 11 bucks, and I can go there as many times as I want during the month and get a cup of coffee.

Yeah. Or any of their other drinks, whatever, but I usually, I basically, I take my Spider-Man corksicle thing. I put in a couple Splenda. I put in some of the non-dairy sugar-free creamer that Tina gets for me. And then I go to Panera and I just fill it up and punch in my cone and that sort of thing. Nothing wrong with that. And even doing that more than three days a week, four days a week feels like, I need something different. I'm going to make some coffee at home. Yeah.

That's the problem with these subscription type things anyway. When it comes to food, we all think, well, that's amazing. And then you're sick of it. Yeah. Remember the Applebee's deal that broke the Internet a few months ago, whereas $200 and you could go there. what was the deal once a week and you'd get a $30 tab basically so if you did it every so basically you could eat it was something like you would get basically almost three times the value or something like that but didn't that screw them they kind of got screwed by that or something or am i thinking oh i'm thinking of the all you can eat shrimp lobster yeah the red lobster shrimp uh yeah probably on wikipedia known as the shrimp incident yeah the shrimp incident good thing there's not one guy's name associated with it but Joe Red Lobster

Joe Red Lobster Red Lobster Red Lobster Does that say you'd have to pronounce it What's your name Joe Red Lobster? Oh, Red Lobster No, it's pronounced Red Lobster Unless you want a rotten life

Where everyone gives you shit all the time For your name, you better say it that way Yep Japan's millennia old naked man festival Which I'd heard of this before This has been going on for a thousand freaking years Is ending

Because of population decline oh man they're just aren't enough naked men anymore they're just aren't yeah i'm glad it's it uh the headline if you don't if you glance over it it it feels like it's old naked man festival oh yeah but it's millennia old naked man festival just not you know yeah you move those quotes around old man old naked man festival which which would be that's why i would think it would be attendance decline from the old naked man festival i would i wish it was a millennium a millennium a millennial old man, meaning he's a thousand years old.

And they just, he's old and naked and yeah, and he's had it. He's done. He doesn't want to do it anymore. Sure, sure. Anyway, in near freezing winter temperatures and wearing nothing but white loincloths, thongs of men, sorry, throngs of men, thongs of men,

they wrestle one another in a bid to claim a talisman during the Japan's Somonsai festival, most famously known as the naked man festival. Not really naked, though. They wear these little diaper things and it's fine. But anyway.

They look like... Scantily clad man festival. They look like sumo. Like small sumo things. Oh, it totally does. They're a little, uh, what do those call? Little, uh, I know there's a term for those. Jerk strap. I have no idea.

I don't know what that is. So basically this is Burning Man without all of the, uh, the hippie stuff. Yeah. Just take away burning, put naked, and you're in. Yeah. This, this does not, this photo. Oh, I would hate it. does not look like fun at all.

No, nothing about this is a thing I would ever want to participate in. Look at this chat. Yeah. Look at this thing. Yeah, that is... Look at all those dudes, and they're all just wearing these little jerk thongs and... Jerk throfts. Jerks straps.

And then all these guys down here, I don't know what they're actually doing right now. They're supposed to wrestle. It looks like a mosh pit, and then a mosh pit in front of a... Are they, like, are they just trying to hold on up there and get pushed off into the crowd or something? I can't even tell. So, but I'm not 100% sure. And why, is it like a battle royale? Only one will stand after all this?

Do you think the potential of touching backs with somebody at that sushi restaurant is bad? Oh, it's nothing, nothing compared to this nightmare. Yeah. It says that they had to stop doing it. This decision is due to the aging of individuals involved in the festival and a shortage of successors. So essentially, I mean, Japan's been famous for a long time of having major population decline. They just aren't their birth rate is like in the toilet. It has been steadily declining since economic booms in the 1980s with a fertility rate of 1.3,

far below the rate of 2.1 required to maintain a stable population. Like, people are actually worried that they're headed toward, like, ruin. Oh, geez. Like, they'll come a day where Japan just can't, can't. Well, I'll go over there, but I can't really help out. I can't help with the fertility rate, but I'll go and help with the, I'll be one more person in the population count. Yeah. And it's not, so for clarity, it's not that they can't have babies.

It's not a infertility thing. It's that they aren't having kids. They're just deciding that they don't want to have them. Well, why isn't it called a, they shouldn't call it a fertility rate then. I mean, I would think. They should call it something like, you know, a birth rate, right? Right, birth rate. Yeah, there we go.

Yeah, I don't know why. Motivation rate. Yeah, something, because it isn't fertility. Because it sounds like it's a problem. It's a fertility issue. Yeah, I would think so, too. Let's see, deaths have also outpaced births in Japan for more than a decade,

posing a growing problem to leaders of the world's fourth largest economy. They now face a ballooning elderly population and a shrinking workforce in a challenge to fund pensions and health care as demand from the aging population surges. So, yeah, they've got problems coming. Sorry, Japan. shrinking workforce in that photo of the naked man festival that's right and also i tell you what your thousand-year-old naked man festival's probably the least of your concerns right now that's certainly not going to help your birth rate no you got other shiz to work on yeah because there ain't nothing

about this it's a bunch of individual two-person naked naked man and woman festivals and then yeah yeah nothing about that photo tell tis says to me population growth everything about that photo tells me mass infection event slash that third guy over there has herpes now you all have herpes freaking F this I would never do this in my life this looks awful what grows Scott out the most is this right here right right but no offense to whatever your culture is all right moving on let's do this story we got time for yeah one more one more one more general general Mills you know the serial people I'm familiar with them yes they have Is it really a general?

I think they're colonels. They're probably colonel by now. Yeah. I would think. Wait, kernels below, General. Sorry, I got that backwards. Maybe they've been demoted. I don't know.

Anyway, General Mills has been urged to take the plastics out of Cheerios, soup, pasta, and canned corn. And I would say, why is it in there in the first place? Right. Yes. Okay. Please do. We agree.

Gross. Wow. Consumer Group is urging popular brand General Mills to reduce the amount of plastics chemicals that they have in their prepackaged food consumer reports is an independent nonprofit group it sent a letter to general mills claiming it found concerning levels of the forever chemical phal how do you say that let me pull it up here phalphal phalates phallates that's some that's some bullshit that's some english bullshit there I don't like that, or Latin or wherever it came from.

We talked about these before, even recently used to make plastics more durable. Some studies have linked the chemicals to health issues, including heart disease, diabetes, and obesity. The letter breaks down which products consumer reports tested. These include Cheerios, the French vanilla flavor of Yoplai, low-fat yogurt, green giant cream-style sweet corn. No risk there. I freaking hate that stuff. No risk for me, I should say. And Progresso vegetable classics veggie soup.

Man. Oh, the highest levels were found in Annie's organic cheesy ravioli. Really? Yeah, you ever had that? I wonder what it is. We've had Annie's stuff. I don't know about, I don't know if we get her ravioli. We do get Annie's something.

I think General Mills owns them. So they're waiting for them to make a statement. Director of Consumer Report says he hopes General Mills will make the necessary steps to reduce the level of plasticizers in its products. You know, we probably should eat less processed things. Yeah, probably.

I'm not saying I like microplastics, but... No. I like macroplastics. Like, I don't know, let's see. Like my PS5. Yeah, that's a macro plastic. That's a nice macro plastic. Yeah, computer chips, all those things,

silicon, it's macro. I forgot to look and see if anyone gave us a pronunciation guide for the P-H-T-H-Thallites. We should look that up. No, nobody gave it to us. Nobody at all? No. Okay, I'm going to find it because I wanted to do. Google says, here we go, Dr. Calhoun says, Google says the pH is silent, so it's just basically thallates.

Just thallates, okay. Yeah. Well, then why have the extra shit in there, you know? Right. So, well, we need, that seems a little short, Bill. Um, how about we stick a silent pH at the beginning there? I like it. I like it a lot.

That's a great idea. I like it. I'll see you guys next week. That's fantastic. Oh, here it is. I found one. Here you go. Thalate. Okay.

So it's just thallate. Yeah, get rid. You don't need your pH. Chuck it. Yeah. Lame. Put words in there. We could use those somewhere else.

You know how many times I use a pH during the day? Tons of times. There are countries that don't have pHs. No. We're just throwing them away here. They probably got to be. extra d's laying around you put a pH in there everyone's smarter come on now all right uh that'll do it for today's news it is now time to take a break and await wendy's arrival we've got a email

that she sent over to me that we're going to read and uh that'll be all great but after or before that we got to play a song so what do you have i have a band called megacat speaking though you get your microplastics and now you're megacats um this actually features members of the indie band smoky brights so if you're familiar with them you'll you already know what you're in for, but this is their self-titled debut album. Just came out at the end of last week. They're doing a Seattle record release, released a listening party at the Black Lodge. Oh yeah, been there with Agent Cooper. And then on March 2nd, they're going to be performing at the Sunset Tavern. This is, again, from the brand new album from Megacat called Megacat.

This is the song called Rat Fight. I'm going to be able to be. I'm going to be able to be. Thank you. I'm going to be able to be. We're going to be. We're going to be able to be. I don't know.

I don't know. I'm going to be. You know, I'm going to be able to be. Mr. Kelly's car wash comes with too late model cars, car wax, towels, sponges, and even a sign. Marbles. And we're back. Tell me who that was again. Sure.

That is the band Megacat. Their brand new self-titled debut album is out. And that is the song Rat Fight. I love the name, Rat Fight. Rat Fight. Rat Fight. It should come with an exclamation point. If you're going to do a title of a song called Rat Fight, it should have an exclamation point.

I agree. It's not a bad band name, too, if you had to name a band. No, we're calling a band Rat Fight. Yeah. Rat Fight. Rat fight. I guess we already had a rat, but they had two T's. So it's all good.

You maybe could do a cover band called Rat Fight, and it would be R-A-T-T-T-T-T, F-I-G-H-T-T-T. Oh. And double up on the T's. I like that. Can they put that pretty girl on the cover again like last time? Because, man, she was lovely, that lady. I forgot her name. All right.

She just died, I think. Right? There was all famous death. I don't know what you're talking about. The lady on the rat album covers. She was a big deal for a while, passed away recently. Ah, whatever world. Here's this.

everybody. I'll explain the situation to Wendy. Don't worry. Don't worry one little bit. My sister, Wendy, is here joining us as she does on Thursdays for a little therapy Thursday. Wendy, hi. Hi. Hi. Hello. How are you? Good. How are you? Good. Good. Hi. Hey, good. That's good. Good. You became a, you became a great aunt for the third time over here. I know. Oh, a little Ramona. Yeah. She's adorable. She's fine. She, when she's not projectile pooping, she is, uh, she's sleeping like a rock. She's very, she's very tired all the time. It takes a lot out of you, projectile.

Yeah, that's a lot of work. She's actually, she's very sweet, very, very, um, chill, doesn't cry a lot. And, uh, it's just kind of, you know, existing, feeling the world out. She came out looking like one of us, though. She is a Johnson, like no weather. Yeah. This kid. Even like little blonde hair, fuzzies, like we all have, we are little and stuff like that.

She looked like you out of the shoot, I felt like. Not that I was there for the shoot. I was there in vainy and kind of green. You were a little green. You're right. You were green and bainy. When you had birthed babies in 75, you put green goo on them. Yeah.

Or the lighting in there is a camera. Don't you think it was just like an old picture? Yeah, it's the camera. It's what people try to achieve with Instagram now. They try to do filters that look like that. But back in the day, we actually didn't like that. We thought it was bad. Yeah.

It was terrible. Right. It was the reason we've well. away from it. Yeah, and the lighting in those hospital rooms. Freaking terrible back then. Oh, shit. Yeah, awful. Anyway, hey, we're old. And what's the deal? Why does it have to be so bright in the operating room?

Yeah, what's going on? Did the doctors need to see or something? As you know, Wendy's a therapist. She helps people with real problems all the time, and she comes on the show, slubs it with us on Thursdays, and helps you with yours. We got an email today, but Wendy, you're something you want to talk about before we get going here. As first, oh, well, okay, so I know it was a little abrupt and sudden for many of you. The real steps is no longer operational, but no fear. Some good stuff is coming. It's just not announceable yet.

And we realized like February is about the time people are like, so are we starting this? Where are we doing? And I was like, ah, I just need to let them know. So that was why it was so sudden and quick. But some good things are coming. Elena needs to step away for lots of good reasons. Family, she's moved to a new place. She's recently got married.

Those four kids guys, she's got a lot going on. So she's thriving and striving and doing all the fun things over there. So no worries about her. You can reach her at her stuff. If you got the email, you know. Or you can email me and ask if you have nutrition questions or things you just, you know, she's an expert at. But lots of other good things.

happening on my end and I'm excited there's a bunch of really stuff brewing similar in flavor to real steps not exact same thing but um you know I just need a new name so Scott you got to get that to me yeah I did I did it last time I can do it again um also he's got these magic ability to come up with a good word and I have none of that and you can go you can right now therapy Thursdays.com is a place they can go and like keep up and email you and stuff okay yeah if you want to put your email in there I will you will be the first to know when things are ready to run. So anyway, I just want to thank everyone.

All the real steppers are just like the best people. They're pretty great. And I know they're like most of them are subcategories of your people or your people specifically. Subcategories meaning that spouses of. Yeah, of course. Right. That's one way of putting it. I like that.

Yeah. That's good. Some categories. Anyway, but they are just an amazing, amazing group. And one, Teresa, who I love said, she's like, real steps is like college. there was four years and then you graduated so if everyone can think of it that way that would be great yeah graduate school you're going to graduate school you're going to grand school's coming everyone it's going to be it's going to be great i'm very excited so please stay tuned and thank you

for all your support less drink binging and less partying but still school but still figuring out who you want so check that out therapy thursdays.com for now it's therapy thursdays with an s i think right yeah that is it is thursdays dot com Well, let's get to today's Thursdays thing. This is something you sent me, and I'm going to just read it as sent. So here it is. Dear B, S, and W. That's Brian Scott and Wendy, I believe.

My partner, Dave, and I are at a crossroads in our lives, contemplating a move away from our hometown in Ohio. Boy, Ohio just keeps coming up. We cannot get away from Ohio today. It's weird. One driving force behind this decision is the toxic dynamic we have with my parents. Oh, man, I could tell you some stories myself. My mom, not my mom, his mom, has a knack for using guilt and coercion to manipulate us and manipulate us into doing things her way while my dad remains passive, unwilling to stand up for what's right.

Even if it means allowing her behavior to continue unchecked, this is how it was for me as a kid as well. For years, we felt suffocated by their controlling tendencies, which has taken a toll on our mental and emotional well-being. we long to break free from this cycle and establish our own identity as a couple away from the influence of my parents. However, the prospect of leaving behind the familiarity of, excuse me, of our hometown and the guilt associated with distancing ourselves from family way heavily on us. I'm not trying to be dramatic as I'm reading this, but for whatever reason my voice is going but it's working. It says, how can we navigate this complex situation with confidence and no regret?

We are determined to prioritize our own happiness and autonomy. while we are grappling with the emotional baggage of our upbringing. Any guidance on how to approach this pivotal decision would be immensely appreciated. Thank you, Samantha and Dave. This is not their real names. P.S., we are both in our mid-30s. I am the oldest of three kids. My younger sister has already moved away and rarely talks to any of us,

and my brother lives with my parents and is the favorite child, but has no job in zero life of his own. My parents are in their mid and late 60s now. Do I just blame it on them being self-centered boomers? Question mark. well there you go a PS with a question you don't usually get those um yeah yes so the PS answers a lot of the questions that we usually get to is just all right how old are you yeah you guys are listening to the stuff we need but also this feels so familiar probably going to be

a lot of people have this a version of this experience so uh I think this will be helpful for a lot what do you want to where do you want to go okay so I'm going to do I think so well I think I do it all the time, but I'm just going to be really explicit about it. I'm going to have you to be proxy for a Sam and Dave. Okay. I'm in. Let's do it. Sam and Dave.

Because I want them to do this exact thing. I'm just going to have you guys do it. So I want to explain a couple different things. Let's identify what the parents are doing and who these parents are. They're from Ohio. Picture it with me. I'm just kidding. I don't know.

I've like never been to Ohio. I think I have once. Anyway, but there is a tendency and the boomer thing at the end is funny, but is also not unrelated to a common way boomers were raised and just the generational differences, right, of their parents, boomers' parents would be the silent generation or just maybe not as...

emotionally focused folks as, you know, other generations, let's say that. Okay. So you have that development is whatever it is. And a lot of the emotional instruction tended to be like, we don't really care what you have to say or what you think. Just shut up. You know, don't be a mess. Go out and play in the woods. Good luck to you.

And we have a lot of like not a lot of their maybe trauma had been recognized. recognized and or taken seriously. So that's kind of just, you know, I'm painting it with a really broad brush, but you can kind of get this, you know, you guys know, you have this sense of like, okay, well, there's not a lot of room for a child to be both recognized, have their emotional needs met, seen as who they are, been allowed to develop into who they want to be, you know, there wasn't a lot of freedom for that. Okay, so you take parents who have family history. And so sometimes when I go with clients back into the days with them,

we find that there's a great grandmother who was abandoned and grew up in an orphanage and was in violent situations. And then that grandma had your mom. And then that mom had some different deficits because grandma had a lot of deficits. No fault of her own, right? So we can see where the emotional inheritance kind of can come from. And so I would do that with Dave and Sam. These are Samantha's parents that we're really talking about, right?

I think so. I understood that quickly. Okay. And so I'd find out like, what's the dealio there? And so we could get some context. So that would be really helpful. Okay. And then we would move on to understanding a couple of things about Samantha's childhood.

Dave would be secondary. Sorry, Dave. Sorry, Dave. Because it's her parents. Because it's her parents, right? And Dave is obviously, you know, cares a lot and is trying his best. and has his own reasons for not losing his school either. Yeah.

So you might say Dave's not here, man. That might not be what we'd say. Yeah, but Dave's important. Okay, so Samantha, we would dig into, you know, sort of what was it like as a kid for you, right? And maybe we'd identify some traits that mom and dad have and define them as you would say emotionally immature, right? They are essentially not completely developed low socio-emotional IQ, okay? Meaning that when we talk about emotional intelligence, we are talking about the ability to understand your own emotions, your own experiences, and also be able to have empathy

or compassion or understanding of the other people also have feelings and emotions and they're just as valid as yours. That's a higher, more mature level of understanding. when you've got parents who you look at some of these outcomes of I mean I'm trying to remember the words they were using of just um it's complex emotional baggage uh mental and emotional toll yeah all these things are are difficult um and and being torn the guilt right i leaving my family makes you feel guilty rather than oh you're off to an adventure or you've got to do what's good for your family it's good for your family it's more of this emmeshment or sort of over-connection. So we would identify all those things. Do you guys have a question? No.

Oh, yeah. I thought you said something. No, I was agreeing with you. Oh, okay. All right. Sweet. Okay. So we have a couple different types of parents that are emotionally immature.

And I'm just going to give you the subtypes really quick. So you have a very emotional parent, which I'm guessing might be the mom in this story. And these are just some ways to. understand an emotional parent. Again, a subtype of immature parents. Okay. An emotional parent can be preoccupied with their own needs, has low empathy, is very enmeshed and not respectful of boundaries, defensive, doesn't engage in good communication, just mainly talks about themselves. My favorite, a friend of mine told me about her mother. She was telling her something really important that was incredibly difficult to share. And no lie, the mom said, oh, okay. But I was

wondering, do you like mustard on your sandwiches? Whoa. Yeah. And so sometimes it's that obvious, right? Yeah. It's funny that the, that what's classified as an emotional parent is an emotional both ways, like emotional with their own out, but not emotional with other people's in, you know? You can't do it. Yeah. 100%. And not self-reflective at all. It's everyone else's fault.

They're reactive. They're not thoughtful. They're either too close or too distant, which that's my clue with the one son that lives at home is that we're probably more in that category of emmeshing with one kid that and that kid is just going to go along to get along. And then sort of dismissive of other kids. Okay. So blows off, cuts other people off, has high emotional intensity that's really intimidating,

wants the child to do the soothing and doesn't think about the child's needs. So this one might ring bells for people. Oh, yeah. Okay. Also likes to pretend it's not their father. They don't actually run the show and then sees themselves as a victim. Okay. So that is a classic sort of portrayal of an emotional immature parent.

And then another type of immature parent is a driven parent, and this is a parent that is very preoccupied with their own needs, low empathy, very difficult respecting any boundaries, defensive. Also not a good communicator, not self-reflective, very bad at repairing relationship. Doesn't have those skills. Rigid values, perfectionistic, goal-obsessed, very busy, just neglectful because their stuff is so important. and sees only what they want, not really what the child needs, loves to run the show, and is a fixer. So that may resonate with some people. The third type is a passive parent, is preoccupied with their own needs, limited empathy, enmeshed, and not respectable boundaries. We always have those things. Can be sporadically, emotionally intimate, and engages minimally in reciprocal communication, so you feel like they're still listening has limited repair skills, not self-reflective, can be thoughtful, is also too close or too distant, and is often fun and kind maybe, but just not protective. Interesting. Often fun is a weird one.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But you're talking about someone like a parent that's distant is kind of like, okay, do your own thing until, all right, let's go have some fun. Let's do some fun stuff. But then, yeah, God, that's. Do you like mustard on your sandwich? Hot and cold.

Yeah, right. And then has a laissez-faire attitude that everything's fine. And then is affectionate towards the child but does not stand up for them. And then like someone else to run the show, it just cannot be the bad guy. And then sees him herself as mellow and good-natured. So the passive parent's a little tricky because it's usually everyone's favorite parent, but it's usually in the dynamic. And that's what I'm seeing in our case in Ohio is that we've got maybe emotional driven.

I'll get to the last one, a mom, but then dad is passive dad. He's the good guy. But in the end is not productive. Doesn't stand up for anybody, that type of thing. And then the fourth title, and this one's the one, I think people, they separate from pretty quickly if they, can because it's it's just so much harsher and that's the rejecting parent and this one again is preoccupied with their own needs shows no empathy but has impenetrable boundaries um is disconnected hostile seldom engages in communication isn't self-reflective no repair skills reactive attacking

demeaning um is too distant ignores a child's real quick what are what are repair skills again what does that mean when you say repair skills meaning like something something has happened there's a rift between us. How do we repair that? It just doesn't have the skills to do it. Like saying sorry or I understand where you're coming from or working to make it work. Yeah. So it just doesn't have those skills.

And this one's maybe key on the rejecting parent is ignores his or her child or can be rageful towards the child. And is often rejecting angry and doesn't get close to the kid. And sometimes it will mock or dismiss a child. and then sees himself as very independent. Okay. So we've got these four... That's the you can never do anything right with... Never.

Not even close, right? Whereas the passive parent is almost a trick. Because you're just like, oh, but they're so great. And often they're this safe place from the other parent, right? Maybe the rejecting parent. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

So that's our four subtypes. And so when I read this email, I think, okay, Samantha's got a passive dad and has one of the other types maybe going on for mom. And in the end, and this is why as an adult, these are 30 plus year olds, right, who are like, I can't live like this. What is actually happening? Is that these kinds of immature parenting behaviors center the parents' needs at all time and do not center Samantha and Dave's needs. So any boundaries are seen as an affront or there's a fight when it comes to any any autonomy maybe being acted out. And the reason I could guess that is because you've got the one son or the one child who, A,

doesn't have to do anything in life to be the favorite. It's not about accomplishment. It's about enmesh, who is the closest, who doesn't leave me. Yes, it's the, you're within my apron strings and not leaving. And you're not trying to have those cut. Whereas the one other sister, she cut those strings and took off, right? I have more questions about her. But it's a great illustration of the three reactions to this, three very common reactions.

One is to stay and struggle and usually the oldest child, which I think is the case here. Then you've got the middle kid who's just like suck it. Nobody likes me anyway. I'm out. But figures out how to get out of there. And it looks like the youngest might be the brother. maybe I got that wrong but of just she's the oldest uh oh oldest of three kids let's say younger sister moved out and then my brother doesn't really say the middle the sister might be the

middle i think the sister's middle at least that's how i read it either way but like they're all doing one of the jobs yeah yeah but it's also interesting that the younger sister doesn't talk to any of them you'd think you'd be like all right doesn't talk to the parents if that's the cause of why she moved away but do you think she sees them as kind of like the brother who still lives there and then Sam and Dave is like well you're still really close to it you're not doing anything about it so they're extensions

out of my life too yeah they're extensions of the problem or something yeah exactly and if you're trying to heal from some of these things you're being re-traumatized or triggered hearing maybe Samantha still defending things because again

you got to recognize everyone in this story has to keep being loved by a parent. And so in order to feel loved and safe, kids will do anything. And in some cases, they have to get away from that because it's just too painful. They can't because they're not getting it. They'll never get it.

As opposed to Sam still trying to get it. And Dave's supporting Sam. I just want to leave Dave out. And then the brother getting all of it, but just has to disappear as a person. Yeah. Potentially, right? So that's what I want to get into. I'm going to have you guys answer the questions for us, for yourselves.

Well, maybe you could pretend your David's down. As the person with no job and zero life of his own, I think I can help. I can help. So you're your brother. Got your good, middle kids. I don't know. Okay. So I wanted all that framing so we could go through this exercise.

So if anyone is listening and is like, oh, this resonates. I feel not love this. I'm going to now blow your minds. I should have gotten consent forms. I feel bad. Okay. All right. Okay.

So kids will do a thing when they, and I am, I can find tons of compassion for mom and dad in Ohio. I don't think it comes from nowhere. It comes from generational trauma. It comes from other things, right? They were made to be like this by their parents. Yeah, and it sucks. And I feel like there's a lot of folks in that same camp that just don't understand what happening to them as their children are waking up to having to do different things.

So that said, we're going to just make them caricatures right now because they are for just for our purposes. Okay. So what kids will do when they have immature parents is it will force the child to adjust to their parents' emotional limitations. A kid does not know what it's like to be in another family. I do enjoy, though, when my kids go to someone else's house and then they can. come home and they're like, I really appreciate you.

I really don't know how good we've got it. Yeah, or I think my house is so messy and one of my kids came home after babysitting somewhere and he's like, um, you can't go back. It's so messy. I was like, oh, so our house isn't as messy as I thought, you know, ha ha. Because kids just don't, you know, they're going to adjust to whatever the environment is. And if the parents have emotional limitations, like the ones I do. just listed, right? The kid will adjust. That's how it works. So when they react,

they have to, they're essentially needing some basic things. They need to be noticed, cared for, and engaged with. That's all a kid ultimately needs. But in order to get those needs met, they were going to have to put themselves in a pretzel to figure out how to get that need met. Right. And so many, this will be really common. Everyone might have what it is to some varying extent, but a child who's emotionally deprived a little bit will come up with a fantasy about how they will eventually get what they need. Okay. So if I did this whole hour differently, I would have said, hey, guys, what's your fantasy about what you want in the future? And you'd say, well, if I have enough money, then I will be happy. And we can actually

go backwards and start with whatever your fantasy is now and rewind the clock to find out, hey, what fantasy did you have to come up with as a kid to get what you needed? So maybe it felt financially insecure. And so you now have this grown-up fantasy, a child made up, by the way, that if you had enough money, you would be happy. And that's just factually not true. We have enough studies to prove it, though we all still deeply believe that we will be happy. But that may be a clue to what was the healing fantasy.

They're called healing fantasy. a healing fantasy you had as a child to get your needs met. So another one might be like maybe there is a lot of loneliness, emotional loneliness or pain in your childhood. So you might have a healing fantasy of, you know, if I'm attractive enough, if I'm thin enough, eventually someone will want me. I won't be alone or, you know, some other, maybe when, maybe if someone is afraid of me. Maybe when I have my Tesla, people will finally think I'm respectable. I like to make fun of Tesla. Or whatever the fantasy might be. There's a way to finally get what I need. I'll be famous. I'll be rich. People will be afraid of me. Eventually, I can be safe. I'll have what I need. Okay. So this is

essentially about being loved one day. And it helps them keep going. Right? So I would ask Sam and probably Dave, what were the fantasies you had as a child about when would things be okay? What would that look like? Here's the problem with them though. Is a child created them and now you're an adult. And you secretly expect your closest relationships to make those healing fantasies come true. How many people wish you would make more money, Scott, so that Kim could finally have the life she deserves? Oh, well, I don't know. What I mean is, I'm using your names, but what I mean is that's how common are we looking at a partner? Like, if only you, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Exactly. You would make me feel safe, right?

Yeah. And so that, a childhood need turns into an adult relationship problem. So we eventually think people will change or do something. and then it will fix the stuff that we need fixed. Right. Okay. So that might appeal to everyone or sort of apply to everyone in some form, right? What was it we were wishing we would have that we then expect a partner to fulfill?

So I don't know if she's done this with Dave. And it could be that she's still, and this is really common, you're still hoping your parents will do it. Yeah. I'm still waiting for them to see me and meet me where I need to be. finally to finally meet all the demands you had as your fantasy of the kid. Yeah. Yeah. And just normal stuff.

Let me repeat the things you need. It's just to be seen, known, noticed, cared for, and engaged with. It's not a lot, right? Except when, let's say, something, you know, a parent's depressed. Let's say a parent is in grief. Let's say a parent has a substance abuse problem. Like, you can't do those things with a kid. and all of us grew up drinking hose water and playing in the woods, at least the three of us.

I did, yeah. I drank a lot of hose water. It doesn't mean. A helmet all over the neighborhood. All that lack of love, right? Yeah. And I like to complain that the pendulum has swung so far, but I might be changing my mind on that. Sure.

I think we can, I think we can do it in unhealthy ways and put, somehow still make that kid his job to make us feel like we're good parents. And that's a problem. right um anyway okay so there's one other additional thing and then i want to ask you guys to do some questions with me okay um the other is when a parent um basically gives a kid the the key to a door the doorknob lock right they show you a lock door and they say all right to open this door you have to become the right kind of key right and so what we develop is not our true selves but we develop what's called a role self. So you are playing a role.

And you figure it out, oh, this is how I get attention, love, and acceptance. So maybe it's, I get really good grades. Maybe it's I play sports. Maybe it's I'm silent. I had a client the other day who is very tall, said, all I knew is I needed to be really small. And this is a six foot three woman. Really small.

Interesting. Yeah, that's how I fit in the keyhole. It's just don't take up space. Don't make noise. Wow. Yeah. And you're like, what? To what benefit? Like, to what, you know?

To what end? Okay. And that's the question. If I become so self-sacrificing, then other people will praise and love me. If I become small and don't cause problems, then I'll be safe in my family unit. So you will pretzel yourself into the shape of the key that opens that door. And it sounds like Sam and Dave are done trying to do that. contorting themselves into that keyhole.

Yeah. Right. And so some kids really find the role that keeps everyone happy. So let's take her younger brother. His role keeps mom really happy. That's why he's the favorite. Yeah. Right?

Yeah. And so then as an adult, when you've been doing this as a child, as an adult, you tend to keep playing that role, hoping that someone will pay attention in the way you wished your parents had or will love you in the way wish your parents had. Sure. So when you find yourself in social situations, always people pleasing or making sure everyone's comfortable all the time or, you know, sometimes those are clues to, oh, I needed to make sure that everyone was comfortable back in the day when I found the key to keep my family happy, right? Now, some of this is just going to be within every family, a bit of normal response, right?

Like, okay, my family, I can't just scream whatever I want. Okay. Maybe I won't do that. But this is more on the extreme of you can't be yourself. You're not getting needs met. Being yourself makes you extra vulnerable. You need to be and play the role that you need to in order to get some of that stuff done. Okay. Any thoughts, questions? And then I'm going to follow up with your heart.

You're describing my men laws. But yes, go ahead. I mean, you really are like 100% like up and down. This is a description of some of that stuff. Right. Right. Right. And unfortunately.

So, so, so many of folks in a particular age range fall into this type of parenting. I mean, you got to remember the first parenting book, I think, was started in like the 40s or 50s. And then everyone like caught wind of it and started doing the same kind of parenting thing. And it was the first time anyone was told like, hey, maybe you don't just wing it, you know? And the winging it served a lot of good purposes in the sense of, you know, kids just became model citizens or followed the whatever or shoved their feelings down and just worked harder. I mean, I would assume we could maybe figure out numbers of how much GDP is based on people

just not having feelings. Right. There's probably a quantifiable number there. I don't like that, but I'm sure there is, yeah. Right, right. Okay. So here we're going to get into the healing part of this, the good stuff. So Sam and Dave, get a pen. Everyone else, if this has resonated at all, you might want to get a pen. Okay. So one is to identify, because you might just hear this and go, oh, yeah, maybe. But really to identify what your unique healing fantasy and role self are, there's some great questions to ask yourself. So, um, fill in the blank and I'm going to have you guys do this one okay you're going to give yourself away if you don't want to just say nope and then if it's something that that might just open up another therapy session we might have to save it for another yeah we could cause but but

I and I'll read through all the questions but I'm just going to ask you guys the first one okay yeah I wish other people were more blank oh interesting so we're to answer this quiet okay just kidding just kidding uh forgiving forgiving forgiving okay I wish people were more um I don't know the right word for this but I know what I want to say accepting no like open honest authentic that's the word authentic I want more authenticity okay all right next question why is it so hard for people to blank be quiet I don't why I'm focused on that why is it so hard for people to see things through other people's eyes from other people's perspectives.

So, like, have empathy, yeah. Okay. Why is it so hard for people to, oh, that's, that's kind of the same one. I'd say that too. Okay. Yeah. Similar. Okay.

So for a change, I would love. Why can't people have their own original answer to Wendy's question? I wish people could come up with their own answer. Okay, here's another one. For a change, I would love someone to treat me like Blank. Royalty. Rolty. Lavish me with gifts.

I always have to get the joky answer out and so you get that, like, that's the hard layer of Zinger's frosting before you get to the cream filling inside me. That's right. Uh... For change, I would love someone to treat me like. I don't know. I don't have a good answer for that. Yeah, I like the way people... Yeah, generally, I get treated fine.

I'm sure there's something. I'm trying to think in a familial ways. Okay, I got one. Yeah. That's for the in-laws again. I would like people to treat me like... an adult who does not need you to tell me how to how to live my life. Wow.

To dress and live. Yeah. Amen. Okay. Come up next Thursday on Therapy Thursday. Mother-in-law comes on the show. Okay. So I'm going to read the next two.

You don't have to answer these. But this is really for Sam and everyone else, too, of answering some of these questions. Like, you wish people were more. Why is it so hard for them too? Why can't they treat me this way? These last two, maybe one of these days I'll find someone who will. In an ideal world with good people, other people would. So you come up with, like you're teasing out the what didn't I get met as a kid.

So if your answer was, I wish other people were more honest. Why is it so hard for people to tell the truth? For a change, I'd love somebody to treat me like I deserve the truth, right? You can find the theme. Pretty much exactly. Then you're like, okay, I guess my parents really held a lot of stuff back or they didn't think that I was old enough to understand things and totally lied to me. Right. Well, there was crap going on.

My dad cheated on my mom and no one said a word. And I just felt the vibe, right? Like, that can be real. By the way, kids feel stuff, as we all know. Anyway, I don't need to tell people that. Do I help? Kids have emotions. Kids are not robots.

Anyway, so that's. how you would kind of tease out the fantasy, the healing fantasy. And then if you are resonating with this and have a therapist, go talk to them about your healing fantasy because it means there's some stuff that maybe you're still need to look at. And trying to understand maybe the unmet needs and then a child's response, which is to create a way to survive that. And it may be harming your current relationships. Right. Okay. Then the other questions I want to ask just about the fake self you have to be in order to

to get along. I'm just going to read them so everyone can fill in the blank. I try hard to be... I'm going to actually do this with you two first. Okay. I try hard to be blank. I try hard to be listening. Genuine?

Genuine? No, you're good. Genuine's good. I like, I try hard to listen. Or to be listening. since you said since you said b i had i kind of had to restructure it but yeah okay all right how about this the main reason people like me is because i um have all the major consoles and some old i think both of you should answer funny yeah yeah i mean it's certainly The first thing that I put out to people is I try to be funny.

That's probably, that's probably it. Yeah. I don't like things that sound like we're boasting. Like we're trying to put on a show kind of thing. Yeah, I hate that. As we're putting on a show. But like we're, you know, we're trying to portray ourselves as something we're not like, ah, what else?

Yeah, I hate that. There's a funny thing. I hate that feeling, but yes, I think to Wendy's question, I think that's probably a fair one. Yeah. Yeah. The main reason people like me is because I'm funny. Other people don't appreciate how much I do. Is that too short?

Look at things through their perspective. That is 100% like something I think about like something like, all right, I'm trying to look at this through your eyes. And I'm understanding where you're coming from. Why can't you do the same thing for me? Okay. Okay. I have always been In therapy Thursday

Yes, in two weeks It'll be Brian's follow up Okay, how about I have two more I have always I always have to be the one who blank Makes

Let's see How does that work around here? I'm the one that has to make Compromises I guess Yeah Yeah mine's similar Mine's make the piece

It sounds I mean it sounds like I'm living with a bunch of really selfish people. I'm not, but there are times that I feel like I'm the one who compromises more than, more than other people. Yeah. Okay. Tina, not at all in this list, by the way of. Yeah, we love Tina. I have to mediate. It's a mediation job sometimes, and I don't mean in my immediate household. I mean in general. Okay. Yeah, yeah. That's, yeah. And also, I would throw this one out, maybe for you, Scott. I always have to be the one who breaks the silence.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have for you. Okay. I can. can't help with a joke okay uh i'm deconstructing comedians live on radio right now you guys do i was waiting for the blank i'm deconstructing blank sorry sorry let me uh let me do the final one okay here we go i've tried to be the kind of person who um i've tried to be the kind of person who because these questions are are in relation to others right because i could say well i'm trying to be the kind a person that's getting real good at Tetris high scores, but you're not really asking that. Right. It doesn't really matter

what you're trying to be for yourself. It's trying to what you're trying to be for for everyone else. This is a general thing. I'm trying to be a person who's honest or whatever. Okay. Can you be the phrasing the question? I've tried to be the kind of person who. People can rely

on. Oh, we did the same one. Jinks. Buy me a Coke Zero. Buy me a Coke. Yeah, buy me a Coke Zero, which is just fine, chat room nothing wrong with it yeah that's amazing okay all right all right all right so i love it here's the thing i'm not going to actually deep dive on either of you because you're you're not we're too much the shallow end of the pool is what you're saying yeah no um that damaged is what i'm saying yeah no um that damaged okay but really when when someone is writing these things down

they're going to be i try hard to keep the peace the main people like me is i'm a peacemaker like if If you're finding, again, the theme, the theme is the role self that you played had to do with, I have a job as a young person to make sure this family isn't exploding. That's a huge burden on a kid. So you see how they're connected, the role I play so I can figure out how to get my needs met. And then the fantasy of what I'll get later on in life so I can survive this. Maybe my mom will finally treat me well. You know the amount of, like, blissful crack this mom in Ohio would have if she could just do her freaking work and then come to her kids and say, I, my bad, I'll own all of this and apologize.

I have created so much harm. Can I, you know, can I do anything to meet some of your needs? And it be real? I mean, it would blow everyone's brain. It would not. It's beyond. And that's why everyone got to therapy. But also, you got to manage it.

that mom may never have that insight, may never do the maturing, because often they're in their 60s and 70s and 80s. And now we're going to be taking care of them in their older age and talk about time to get triggered especially. Now that they need you even more when they maybe always needed you to manage their emotions. Now suddenly you are literally their mother or father in terms of caretaking. It's hard. Yeah, it's a lot. Yeah, it's a lot. It is a lot. And so this Samantha and Dave have an idea which is we'll get out of here and when anyone needs to get out of there you got to ask yourself a couple things is this for the thing you're going to or the thing you're getting away from and if it's the thing you're getting away from often it's a

it's a flight response to lots of chronic stress right and which I think is pretty obvious here and so I think slowing down and doing some of this work and I'll tell you everything I talked about today, I stole from a book. I wanted to tell you at the end, so you would think I was smart. Oh, I can't believe it. This is terrible. You're smart. I mean, that's, like me. I tricked you all. Yeah, this is, Wendy's question was, uh, I always try and trick my brother and his co-host on his show. No, no. Here's the thing. If you asked all my friends, what I'm good at, it's making something seem like a fun surprise. And then when I tell you, it's not really that great. I just did it. Can confirm. It's classic. Totally confirmed. Uh, totally confirmed.

Okay, the book is called Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, right on the nose. Wow. Do not leave it on the counter. I was going to say, just leave that out, Thanksgiving, just see what happens. I might buy it just for that reason, just to see what kind of reaction. It is so good. And I went through some of the things she has you do in it. I had the questions are in here. It teaches you how to heal it.

It's fantastic. It's from Lindsay Gibson, G-I-B-S-O-N. I just absolutely love that she called it exactly adult children emotionally mature parents. There is no hiding what this is. No, it is exactly. Not hidden behind a very vague title. It is what it is. And it's great.

So get it. If any of this resonated and the work of healing some of this is not easy. But man, I'll tell you what's harder. Live in Ohio two blocks away from your mom who treats you like that. That's what's hard. Yeah, that's hard. And so hopefully this gives them some things to start practicing with and go grab the book and anyone else because it's a lot of free therapy in this book.

It's pretty great. Really? And do the exercises. And I think anyone who could need someone to grow up so you can have a healthy relationship with them, it doesn't happen. It rarely happens. You can't make them do it. You can ask, you can beg, you can try, you can drag them to things.

but you can do all sorts of things. It's really, really difficult to get someone out of some of those things if they don't want to or don't even see it's happening. And sometimes these parent roles are so strong that they just don't think they have any problems. Right. And one thing that will resonate to people,

at least it seems obvious from the internet, is like when you give feedback to your parent about maybe not getting some of your needs met, they'll go right to well. I was just a terrible mother. Oh, my gosh, dude. I tried. I'm bad.

It's like, here comes the guilt. Yes. And that is an immature response, right? That is not someone who can see that this other person is a full human with needs and feelings. It's like they never grew up after raising their kids growing up. And so you're going to have to do the growing up. And so stay hydrated as you are healing your inner child and raising your own children and dealing with your parents who are children. Yeah.

It's a lot. I get the, I get the, oh, that one really tripped a wire. one that one really gets me because my mom used to do that a lot and she used to say you know I remember dad my dad made this mistake once I may have talked about this before but he made this mistake of trying to trick my mom into thinking he forgot all about Mother's Day until the very end do you remember this this was like a family famous thing and he was like going the whole day is like acting like he doesn't know she's not saying anything because she's like why isn't he you know what's going on and we all knew on we all knew because

he said, don't tell your mother, I had this awesome patio set or whatever it was. He did. And so the whole day goes on like this. And my mom is getting more and more frustrated. And by the end of the day, she's not talking to anyone, especially my dad. She's just like, major mood. And he goes, surprise, freaking, we did it. Everybody, we waited all day.

And look, we didn't forget. Here's this thing that costs way too much money. And she just wasn't having it. And I remember at some point in all of this, before it all got smoothed out, she had said the phrase. well, I guess I just wasn't a very good mother and wife then, I guess, or something like that. And I remember at the time going, well, that sounds wrong. That isn't right. That isn't right. That sounds wrong. That isn't like 12 or something. I don't know what I was, but I remember, I remember being, I remember that just sticking in my craw and going, yeah, no, that isn't how we're supposed to. I don't think that's how we're supposed to do this. That's not how the surprise is supposed to work. No. This is kind of, this is, this is therapy for you, but guess what just happened to me?

Oh, no. What? I realize why I do dumb surprises. Because you talked about that earlier, like you do this big buildup to something that's not so great. But that's the reverse. It's like the non-build-up to something that is great. But by that point, everybody's so mad that they don't want the great thing. Okay, good clarification, but there's still something about maybe that I am, that I'm trying to be like not do it the wrong way, but still everyone. You like the reveal.

I like the reveal. You get the reveal from, yeah. I like the trampoline at the inside the house at Christmas. That's what I want. But I don't often have a trampoline inside the house of Christmas. You all think we're kidding, by the way. My dad put a full size, like rectangular full size, not some dinky little round one. Like an Olympic size.

Like an Olympic size trampoline in our house, in the living room. So that when on Christmas morning, we didn't know. He did it all the night before. We all walked down the steps and to find that and the thing. And then we stayed there for like three and a half weeks or something. I was going to say, because you have to, really? Yeah. It's so fun.

You don't have to take that thing apart to get it outside. Yeah, it's a huge pain of the butt. The problem was, I guess, at the house we were at, we didn't have finished yard yet. So a lot of that was part of the reason. But I know mom, mom was in. It was high. We had a high ceiling. Okay, good.

But didn't we fall, people fell off a lot. Like, it wasn't, it was not OSHA approved. Nothing of this was OSHA approved. Yeah, no. But it was amazing. But I think it's inside me to do that. And then people find it annoying. Because it's like, okay, I'll tell you later.

And then I don't. They think that's what I'm doing. And I'm like, am I? Shoot. I guess Wendy needs a session, guys. Yep. All right. Yep.

Get that book. I hear it's got a lot of free therapy. It's so good. It's got a bunch of free therapy. What I love is this, this book has been out like on my counter or just wherever. My kids see it. And they're like, huh. Okay.

And it's from the library. And so the sticker is over the adult part. It just says children of emotionally immature parents. My kids are interested. They're like, let's ask us. I'm like, you should read it.

I love that. Is this one of those libraries where like you can look at the checkout card and see who all is check this book out before? Well, when I went, it might be a good way to get some new clients. It has this like waiting list. You know, you can only have it for five minutes.

And then the waiting list, it's like 147 people are waiting. It's good though. This, I'm buying it. It's going to be in my library. it's not good. So I recommend it. All right.

Give the name one more time so people don't. It's adult children of emotionally immature parents. Lindsay Gibson, how to heal from distant rejecting or self-involved parents. I'm going to write it down so that I remember to post it in the notes. It should just be given out at Christmas and Thanksgiving. Yeah. No, I agree.

I need to give a copy too. I was going to say that's a person. Dude, Thanksgiving. That's where I need this thing. Holy crap. And not even if they don't read it. I just want it laying around so people see. that title. Yeah. Yeah. You know, like you did with your kids. That's amazing. That'd be a surprise.

Yeah. Well, I want to hear back from Sam and Max. No, what was his name? Sam and Dave. That's a whole different. That's all different. Very different. The reference. Anyway, you guys let us know what you end up thinking or doing. Wendy and I are, we're not going to say who, but we're related to people who did something like this or they just bolted. Do you remember that? You know what I'm talking about. And it was like, what? We still kind of don't know what happened. in there but um just had to get out basically kind of yeah it's weird and there are other circumstances that are probably unique to it but anyway i want to know how they how things turn out for them because this resonates i think kind of across the board it's almost like a magic trick everybody's got something like this in their life yeah and someone will have a follow-up of their own experience

with this so write in about that i'd love to hear that too oh yeah we love yeah we love your follow-up so get those to us uh the the morning stream at gmail dot com or you can text us 801-147106 too. Or you can voice mail us as well, that same number. Or you can go to Therapy Thursdays.com and contact Wendy directly. How about that? How about them apples? Wendy, have a fantastic week. We'll see you next time. Perfect timing. There's a little baby. Here, bring you. Oh, good deal. Let's see what we got. Oh, it's okay. This is a little Phoebe. Hi, stay hi. Hi. You'll say hi to Brian. That's Brian. Oh, there's a big scary face here, too. Brian's not the scary one. Say hi. Oh.

that. It's adorable. Give me kiss. Kiss. Okay. See you later. I'll come to see you soon, okay? She's like, hey.

She's the best. All right. I mean, Vann's great too, but I got a real thing for Phoebe right now. They all keep replacing each other. What can you do? There's a new favorite in town. Brian, we're about done. I do have a couple of quick things.

Yesterday we attributed an email or a, yeah, an email. A voicemail. A voicemail, that's what it was, to somebody named Amanda, who was not the same Amanda, and she wanted to correct it. So she says this, good morning, sleepy and bashful. It's Amanda from yesterday's request for invisible string. Thank you so much for playing that. Just wanted to clarify, I am not the Amanda that sent that voicemail.

I am Amanda Catherine X in the chat and discord. I graduated high school with 12 other Amanda's. Ha, ha, ha. There are a lot of us out there. That was her saying, ha, not me being sarcasticism. I was even desensitized to my. own name in the hallway if someone said Amanda I didn't turn around because it probably wasn't me love the show though and thank you for everything oh she left us a little hard and I'm sure it's all because of uh it's all because of Boston yeah right it's band yeah yeah because they uh how's that one go

Amanda take you by the hand and make you understand Amanda there you go why am I is why am I always in the mood for that when I hear it but then I forget to go listen to it like go pull up third wave, third contact, what was it called? The one with the big space. Well, they all had spaceships, but what was the... They all had a big guitar spaceship. What was the one? It was so good.

It was something, third something. Oh, that's an album I want to have. You know what I'm doing it today? I'm not going to put that off. I'm going to listen to that today. It was a homecoming dance with Lisa Tordon Shield, and that was really her name. Tordon Shield? She was Scandinavian of some sort of third stage.

That was the album. Thank you, Moose. That's a rare drop from the final. channel boss in the last range. Torgon Shield. Today's word of the day, by the way, is this. Pseudo-sudo-hypo-parathiroidism. Yep. So put that in your pants and enjoy it. Don't forget, folks. The pH at the beginning of all that is silent. You have a meeting? When's your meeting? Oh, we'll be done in three minutes. Not really. Can you mute it, sort of? Hey, I can't help it. I got this show that's going here. All right. Anyway, it'll wrap. We'll wrap. Yeah, we'll wrap soon. Anyway, thank you for that message. You guys can send us.

that stuff, just go to frogpans.com and you'll find a link to all the ways to get in contact with us. Don't forget core tonight at 4 p.m., not 5, 4. A bunch to talk about there. It's Hell Divers Week, man. You guys got to hear us go on about that. Also, the pond tomorrow, as Brian has mentioned it much times, 9 a.m. same time as TMS. So be there. It's going to be fun. Play retro that afternoon, film sack this weekend and a skim at some point. So lots of content, no reason not to listen for everything else for this show. Go to frogpance.com slash TMS. Brian, that's going to do it. Do you have music to play at the end of the show here.

Do you have music to play. Great. Great. Yes. This is from TRPW. He says, It's my birthday on the 25th of February, and my age overtakes Heinz varieties.

So you can do the math there, folks. The Ventures did a version of the routers. Let's Go, Pony, which is the first recording of a very familiar clapping rhythm, especially at sporting events. You probably know the clapping rhythm, but it doesn't seem to have a name. It's not like the Bo Diddley beat or that sort of thing.

but it's the oh that's okay that's just called the clapping rhythm that's the let's go rhythm or the let's go rhythm the ventures of the routers

the rhythm has been used in other songs but it's not the same rhythm as used like in Tony Basil's Mickey for example the router's version might technically count as a cover and I prefer it

to the Ventures version signed TRPW well by golly we're going with the router's version it's time to reset the routers and actually the name of the album is let's go with the routers from 1963.

Here is Let's Go, Pony. Oh, man. Awesome. All right. See you guys tomorrow. Please come to the pond, please. All right. We'll see you then. Let's go.

Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!

Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!

Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Go!

Go! Go! Go! Oh! Go! Go! Go! Go!

Go! Go! Go! And go! Go! And go! Oh! And go!

Oh! Oh! Get me. Let's go. Get more at frog. Get more at frogpants.com. I ain't got no gas.