The Morning Stream - TMS 2758: Twizzler Intubation

Episode Date: January 6, 2025

Don't come at us with your chicken buildings. By Blueberry Standards. Whistling Archery. Jersey Mike: Sandwich Assassin. 20 Years Not Driving the Porcelain Bus. Send that to the Southern office. Brekkie tacos. I feel like crap, this will make good content. Hello. I'm Mr. Typecast. The day that will live in stupidity. Subconsciously Streaking! GOONIES . . . IN . . . SPACE. Iraqi oil vat of popcorn. Taint West Virginia. Throbby Strange Light with Bobby and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As we get snow in the mountains and sleet in the valley, I'm reminded of how Brian Dunaway is afraid of horses or how Bobby Frankenberger's last name sounds like an undead burger brought back to life by a mad scientist. Anyway, support our Patreon at patreon.com slash DMS today. Coming up on the morning stream, don't come at us with your chicken buildings. By blueberry standards.

Whistling archery. Jersey Mike. Sandwich assassin. 20 years not driving the porcelain bus. Send that to the southern office. Recky tacos. I feel like crap. This will make. Good content.

Well, hello, Mr. Typecast. The day that will live in stupidity. Subconsciously streaking. Goonies in space. Iraqi oil vat of popcorn. Taint West Virginia. That's for sure. Throbby Strange Light with Bobby and more on this episode of The Morning Stream.

Good morning. I just want to touch pace with you. I'm going in to have a shot in my spine today. Oh, goody. My day begins. The morning stream. I must break you. Good morning, everyone, and welcome to TMS.

It is the morning stream for the first proper week of 2025. The real week starts now, okay? Not the split up thing. Yeah, the real work. Yeah, not with the weird hump day. holiday bullshit we've had for two weeks in a row. Okay? That's right. Real week coming up at you. It is January 6th. I'm sure today will be nothing but a peaceful transfer of power. I'm sure. A date that will live in stupidity. January 6th. Yeah. I assume all the liberals are

rushing the capital right now. I'm sure that'll all be a big problem today. Anyway, we're here. We're going to get it going and we got a show to do and we're happy to be here in 2025. So welcome everyone it's scott and brian hi brian good morning hello good morning scott happy happy full full on new year we you know we've had a show since new year obviously that's true we've had that's what's weird about it it's like this weird yeah yesterday felt like a friday uh thursday felt like a monday oh it was so weird we've had a bunch of days in the past two weeks that felt like sundays that were actual middle of the week days yeah i don't like it no sir i don't um i am going to tell you this though uh you're lucky to have me because i feel like uh jersey

Mike's tried to kill me the other day. That's Mike's way to try to kill you. That's what I started to wonder. Like, is Mike's way to try to kill me? We went to Jersey Mike's, which we are prone to do because we like their sandwiches. All right? I want this to be clear. I think Jersey Mike's is a fine establishment with a good product for the money.

I like them. All right? But Kim bought a hot, one of their hot, I always get the cold ones. I got like a, I don't know what it's called, an Italian. and something or other, and I had all the stuff, and I did it Mike's way, you know, and all that. So if you do Mike's way, because it comes with the oil and vinegar on the sandwich, you've got to be either eating it there at the restaurant or taking it home right away and eating it right away. If you're like, oh, yeah, I'm going to pick that up on the way to work, and then I'm going to eat it, you know, an hour later. I'm going to put in the fridge and then eat it an hour later.

Yeah, you're coming back to oatmeal with meat is really what you're coming back to. Yeah, and also any shirt you're wearing if you try to eat it in the car will have permanent oil stains on them. So don't do it. You forget it, exactly. Yeah, and that stuff doesn't come out unless you immediately treat it. Honestly, you spot it. Yeah, so be careful. Anyway, the point is, like, we're in there.

We do our normal thing. We decide to stay there to eat it. Kim gets this hot sandwich with chicken on it. And by hot, I just mean it's a warm one, not a, it's not spicy. Yeah, yeah. And I forget the actual name, but she gets it. and she eats two-thirds of it. This is pretty typical of us.

I had just like their small, half-size, whatever it is. And then she gets down to about a third of hers and she says, I'm full, do you want the rest and I'll eat it? That's typical Kim and I out for a meal. That's your usual MO. Like it's, I hit all of my small sandwich and whatever Kim doesn't finish on hers. Yeah, it doesn't matter what it is. If it's like steak, I'll eat the final third.

It's just the way it is. And this is all fine for us. We don't mind this. arrangement and so I eat the final third and I'm pretty full because I'm like okay well that's like a sandwich and a third I'm good I'm done yeah and we go home like nothing's going on and I check this with Dr. Tolbert and he was dead on he says so was it about five or six hours after the ingestion of said chicken sandwich I said yeah that's when it started and he said yeah that's typical mild food poisoning and what happened is Kim wakes up at about 2.30 sick as a dog and I felt

horrible too but let's just talk about the difference between me and almost every other human being on this planet yeah yeah my wife uh does exactly as she's meant to do and as as you would think a a human with a normal physiology would do and that is rid herself of the offending chicken sandwich expunge expunge the foul substance and she has no problem with that and she's quiet about it like she's just like i don't even know what happened oh really oh yeah she's not one of those hack and slash people like me or anyone else I've ever met. I'm the loudest puker I've ever met. Yeah, same. But my sister,

my sister, Misha, and Kim for some reason are just silent. I don't know what's going on. But anyway, she'll go in, she goes in there, does her business. And immediately she's on the road to recovery. I, on the other hand, I can't even, I can't even force myself

to do it. I'm trying. I don't want to continue the streak, Brian. This is a misconception about my streak. Sure. We're about to hit 20 years. July, it'll be 20 years since I last, uh, you know, uh, drove the porcelain bus. Right. And I want to know. Porcelain altar. Yeah. And I wanted to rid my, I wanted to be like her. And I tried. I did. I tried. And my body won't let me. And so what happens is I end up with like an extra day's worth of trouble where she's like, you know, the next morning by, I don't know, by maybe 10 or so,

she's like, all right, I'm feeling way better. I'm going to go run some errands, do some stuff. It's like no big deal to her. For me, I'm like, oh, my gosh, I'm still dying here. And, you know, we got to wait for, uh, we got to wait for the, um, you know, the southern office to kick in. If you know what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Exactly. Well, we're the northbound train's not coming. So you're better off just going back down south. Yeah. May as well just go home. And, uh, so yeah. I think, I think that there, I know you, you, you, you, you, you say you're not opposed to Puky. And I genuinely believe you feel that way that you're not opposed to puking the streak is not not consciously um by choice but i think the fact that you in your mind you say yeah we're coming up on

the 20th anniversary like there is a subconscious block a wall that says must maintain the streak there must be something like that it's the only explanation you're conscious yeah there's no other explanation honestly i i don't think you're wrong i think there is some subconscious thing that are, I know other people like this. I'm not the only one and they're not always talking about their streak on a morning show. And I think there's just like a, I have an aversion to it. I always have it. Even as a kid, I would be the last one to hurl.

Everybody else would be wildly sick and then I'd be like wait and wait and wait and finally, finally I might give in. But in this particular case, I was just like, please come on. Let's go. Let's do this. I don't care anymore. Let's break the streak. It'll be a great story on Monday even.

Tell everybody I broke the streak. Let's go. I don't want to be Seinfeld. This is my black and white cookie. Let's go. You know? Here's where being a drinker, I think, comes in handy. I've gotten lots of practice to where it's like, yeah, I mean, I don't like throwing up.

But I'm not, I'm not averse to it. I'm not, you know, I don't try to avoid it. It's like, yeah, I know how it feels after, you know, maybe three or four old fashions and a deep dish pizza or something it's like yep my body says yeah body says get this out of and you're supposed to listen to your body and you're supposed to let it do what it's supposed to do yeah this is all clear to me 100% with you I get it there's something in there and I can't trigger it and it's pissing me off so so I was sicker longer but it meant we missed TMS Friday and I hated that we missed it yeah I had to push play retro to last night which nobody wants to record on a Sunday night on a Sunday night I

I know, yeah, yeah. I mean, done away, and I did, but, you know, whatever. Yeah, fine. I, I didn't put this in the topics, but you're bringing it up and it's like, you know, I kind of almost had this, had a similar, had a, a situation where I almost triggered myself throwing up. Ooh. Tina, I watched a movie, whatever night. Maybe it was Thursday night, Wednesday.

I can't remember. And it's going to be the one, I think it's going to be the one I recommend till this week. And she's like, I'm going to make some popcorn. Do you want popcorn? I'm like, no, I'm not going to have popcorn because that is, I've identified that as one of my trigger foods. That is something that if you put a bowl of popcorn in front of me, I will absent-mindedly, just shove it into my face until that bowl is empty. That bowl could be, you know, an Iraqi oil vat full of popcorn, and I would still consume it until it was empty regardless. Sure.

It could be a thimble and it could be a, you know, a bottle. barrel and I would consume until it's empty. Sure. So I said, no, I'm just going to have a yogurt. So went and got my yogurt, had that, she made popcorn, she sat there and ate it. And I looked over and I said, well, maybe I'll have like two kernels. Sure. And I reached over and I grabbed

two kernels out of there, shoved them in my mouth, and then took my yogurt thing into the kitchen to wash out and put in the recycling. Sure. And instantly, I realized that the two kernels that I just ate, the husk, the The brown husk from a seed is stuck to the back of my tongue to where I try and keep swallowing.

I drink some water. Nothing. Nothing is getting this thing down. Oh, no. And I'm feeling like there was a really old episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry gets something stuck in the back of his throat. Not going to say what it is. Go watch the episode. yeah um just say that the i'll just say that there's a little bit of an rfk connection and um yeah uh and i'm like clearing my throat and i'm like like ack oh like doing this and i'm i'm giving the sorth artina's laughing because i'm making all of these noises and stuff trying to get this thing dislodged yeah and i'm like let's try hot liquid like drink some tea or some of you know

hot cider and then nope uh let's try this nope that's not working yeah Oh, that was Thursday night because I remember Friday morning getting up and it's like, oh, my God, it's still there. Let's go to eat. So we go out and eat breakfast, like we usually do on Friday morning. Still, still give on. I'm like, all right, maybe if I have some, you know, some crunchy food. So I had some, you know, I asked for the bacon well done and had these tacos that, these breakfast tacos that first watch makes that are just incredible. I like, I like, I'm even going so far as, as not.

Not grinding the bacon in my mouth into a powder. Like, I want some chunks to try and dislodge this thing. I'm throwing, I'm basically throwing balls at the milk jugs, the metal milk jugs trying to knock them down. That's great. That's great. And as you know, the house always wins that game. There's no winning that one.

You can try. In this case, no winning that one either. I told Tonya, or told Tina, teen told her that I said on the way home we are stopping at King Supers and I'm buying a bag of

Twizzlers or Red Vines and because I feel like that I can use it to kind of intubate if he poke at it no you know Scott I'm realizing that that I have a very quick gag reflex when it comes

to shoving licorice unchewed licorice down I thought, you know, it's not so far down that it's going to trigger anything. And I'm like, going, ah, I was like with a red dad. You sound, that's just the same reason your dentist is, you know, they have to be careful, right? They can't just, like, jam instruments down that throat because Brian, Brian's got a trigger down there. I got a trigger and I'm going to, uh, unleash.

In other words, you're normal, all right? You're normal. You're exactly what you should be doing. In other words, here's Brian. That's him. He'll do it. That's right. That's right. Not me. So, when about my day, you know, still eating and drinking as normal.

And then Tate asked me Friday night, she says, so how's the husk in the back of your throne? And I say, oh, I forgot. It's gone. I did even think about it. At some point, during the day, it disappeared. And I didn't even notice that it had swallowed, but it's gone. Nice. Well, I'm glad you're husk free, you know. Yes, I'm husk-free, but maybe keep some Twizzlers on hand and trigger your, if you need to throw up, Scott, maybe just keep a bag of Twizzlers just in case. Just dangle them down there. Just dangle them down there, exactly.

So I don't know, everything, you know, but by Friday night, I was feeling fine. Like, I'd raided and stuff, and it was all good after that. So it was a brief thing. It wasn't this norovirus going around that, like, takes people down for eight days. Awful. Do not get that. Yeah. Yeah, nobody wants that.

So bad this year. But I thought because of this thing, and I came so close to breaking the streak, that it would be fun to talk about the records that were broken this last year, 2024, in the Guinness Book of World Records. I thought that might be fun to look at it. Oh, yeah, that would be fun, yeah. All right, cool. So, Brian, I'm going to read some of these.

Did you know that this is the year that the youngest male artist happened? That is Ace Liam Nana Sack, Arakra. I don't know who this is. They're obviously not, you know, they're not from Hoboken. I'll pull it up here. That is not a name from the United States of America. Yeah, here it is. It is the youngest.

Okay, Mother Joy, Mother's Joy, as son named World's Youngest Male Artist. He is a painter, not a, it's not like singing. Like a musician artist, but he's a painting artist. Yeah, and he is exactly how old is he? He's a toddler. It uses his umbilical cord and a canvas. and uh one year let's see one year and 152 days old i don't know how they did about days that's i guess whatever anyway sold paintings and their big deal at some local uh place or what do you

call it a gallery that's what they call those yeah yeah and uh he's uh he's already on his way so that kid that's that's your number one number two world's oldest man 114 year old man from venezuela and A 120 year, sorry, 112 year old man from England are our current leaders in the, this year's oldest men. Okay, 114. Yep. And what's the second one? The other guy's 112 right on his head, right on his heels.

It's right. Oh, my gosh. They're slowly chasing each other on rascals trying to. Yeah. We got the, this is a year. The, uh, yeah. I don't know if Phil's here. Is Phil in the chat or any Australians?

Maybe not. here's a good one world's heaviest blueberry 20.4 grams Australian blueberry 20 grams okay I'm thinking about like when I do baking and stuff and I have to use the the scale for flour and stuff like that yeah how big is that let's see that is 0.04 pounds so that's half almost half a pound oh no no no that's not right yeah no that's not right no that's much small that'd be 0.4 or 0.5 uh yeah like a um just like that I'd say like Like 10 M&Ms would probably be... Yeah.

Still pretty big. Still pretty big. Oh, yeah, for sure. By blueberry standards. Yeah. Or as my little granddaughter says, blueberry. Blueberry.

Blueberry. I want blueberry pops. Let's see here. Here's another one. This is a fun one. Largest building in the shape of a chicken. It's in the Philippines. 114 feet, that building.

I don't have a photo. I wish I did. I know we've talking about this before, but we really just get into a place where somebody comes up with some weird, weird thing. Like, it's not necessarily that they're saying, I'm going to do this to break a record. Oh, we're finally going to have the largest building shape like a chicken.

No, it's like, man, that building shape like a chicken. I'll bet that's the biggest one there is. I'll bet we could submit that to the Guinness Booker World Records as the largest building shaped like a chicken. Yeah, it feels like a new category and the winner in the same moment. Exactly. Yes. Yeah, it kind of annoys me, too.

Here's another one that's probably like that. Fastest 10 meters on a skateboard by a cat. That happened in China, 12.85 seconds, as if it matters. It's like, I don't know what a cat's supposed to do. Yeah. Is it, all right, here's the question. Is it the 12.5 meters purely based on momentum created by the cat? This isn't like, I'm going to put a cat on a skateboard to attach it to the back of my Honda and drive as quick as I can.

Yep, and then let it go and see how quick it goes from Marker A to Barker B. Yeah, they don't get into the details here. I assume it's from, it better, what it should be is from, it needs to be from running and jumping onto the. Yes, it needs to be from run, jump, start. Where does it coast to? That's it. Yes, yes. Like, like Maru. Oh, I miss Maru.

Oh, I miss Maru. Oh, I miss Maru jumping and sliding in boxes of mug root beer. Yeah. How about this one? Fastest, or no, we did that one. Largest display of origami dolphins, 2,024 of them in London. So that's a thing. Again, it's so arbitrary. I'll bet somebody does 2025. Yep. And then finally, this one caught my eye. Largest whistling archery championship. 300 people in China. Yeah, Jandu has that one down. Come on now. 300 people in China standing there. I assume whistling.

sling while doing archery? It's just so dumb. It's really dumb. It's super dumb. Yeah. I think you need to tighten things up, Guinness. You need to basically say,

okay, this has got to be something that maybe Guinness establishes the, here are the records. Don't come to me, don't come to us with your big chicken buildings and your cat skateboards.

We'll come up with the things and you beat them. Don't just come up with largest pair of wrangler pants worn with a black belt. I do love the line. Don't come at us with your chicken buildings. That's amazing. Yeah, don't come at us with your chicken buildings.

Somebody title that up, please, because we're going to vote on that today. Well, that's awesome. Anyway, good job. You guys continued to be a weird thing to shoot for it. When I was a kid, it felt like it was all longest fingernails, tallest man, shortest woman. Like, it was all things that made sense. Heaviest man and tallest building and things like that. And now it's, uh, it's just made up.

Yeah. They now hold the record, Guinness Book World Records for the most annoying book of world records. They don't, they have that record. Exactly. Yes. Yeah. Good job, guys. No, no, uh, no competition in that area. Snake eating itself. Brian, you went and saw a movie last night.

Tell me all about it. I did. It was last night. We saw it Friday night. Oh, Friday night. Um, but it is, uh, the, the biopic of Bob Dylan, uh, starring Timitay Chalameh, called a complete unknown and

this you'll see this during Oscar time you're going to see Shalemay getting nominated for Best Actor for sure you might even see L. Fanning get nominated because she was really good love her. The actress who played Joan Baez was really good

here's what really impressed me. It is so easy and you heard me do it a second ago. It is so easy to say oh Bob Dylan I'm going to do a Bob Dylan voice but Shalemay does a near-perfect impersonation of early 60s Shalemay without making it feel like a caricature. Like it feels so, it is so, I don't know, it feels genuine.

It feels on the nose. And Tina, this is another movie where, you know, Tina I spent a lot of time talking about afterwards. And on the surface, this doesn't make Bob Dylan look like a really, really nice person. This is kind of the, this is kind of the, like the biopic where they come up, they get their stardom, they kind of become a jerk, but then they kind of realize they shouldn't be a jerk anymore and they get off the drugs and the drinking and they become a nice person. This is like the first two-thirds of that. oh okay no i want it honest portrayal i don't want like the disneyified version of this thing you know and the thing and the thing of um the thing about bob dylan is that at least what i gathered

before the movie and what the movie kind of cemented for me is that bob has always been not a jerk but but had a very singular focus in just not taking any crap and doing what bob dylan wants Bob Dylan going to do what Bob Dylan wants. Yeah. And people loved him until he didn't like something that they were doing. And then they were like, oh, that Bob Dylan's an asshole. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But, yeah, it's really, really good. It is so good. I'm very excited to see it. Look, I've long said that it's, you know, it's easy to see this young, skinny upstart actor. doing a bunch of roles, getting huge deals and just go, oh, we're going to get tired of this kid. I think he's

the real deal. I think he's got the stuff. I think he's got a huge career of like multiple awards in him. I think, uh, I heard an interview for this movie where he said he went, I think it was 10 months with his phone off. He refused to talk to anyone because he wanted he's like, I'm only going to get to do this role one time. They're never going to make a sequel.

I'm never going to get to be Bob Dylan in any other way. And I've loved Bob Dylan since I was a little kid. you know his grandpa got him into it or something yeah yeah he goes and i adore this artist and this opportunity will come one time in my life and i will be damned if i don't do everything i can to focus on doing this like it's it's just all i cared about for that a period of time not like method acty style not like he becomes bob dillon for 10 months and drives everyone he talks to people like he's bob dillan and yeah like you don't only address me as bob yeah not like that like that's annoying as hell but i do have a question for for timothy shallame

and that would be this. Do you have to do all your press with that cheesy mustache? You know what I mean? Like, I can wear what you want, do what you want with your face, but that is not a good look for that boy. I'm just saying. Are you, do you own a comb? Do you have some kind of hair?

Do you have a brush? Hair adjusting device of some sort that you could do that, Mr. Paul Atreides. But anyway, I think that's great. I really do want to see it. And this is a director what made 310 to Yuma and Logan and all those great movies. Yeah. It feels so weirdly like it doesn't feel like any of those things. And so, you know, seeing Mangold's name come up reminding me with his name coming up at the end that this is a James Emanuel film.

I was like, oh, yeah, I forgot. Wow. This is, yeah, this doesn't feel like anything else I've ever seen him do. Nothing like, I mean, he's certainly been to this rodeo. He did Walk the Line, which was an amazing Johnny Cash. I forgot that he did walk the line. Boy, this should have been in the, they should have gotten Joaquin, because they have a guy playing Johnny Cash. This should have been in the, in the 60s cinematic universe, the mangled cinematic universe.

Sure. You know, there's always that guy that plays Malcolm X every time there's a chance. There's a guy who plays. Who's the craig, the Charles Manson guy that played him in both the Mine Hunter and the, and the Tarantino movie. And the Tarantino movie, right? I think there's an actor who's like played Lincoln in five different things or four different things. That'd be a fun thing to be in your life, just always getting picked.

Yeah, exactly. I'm the guy they call upon to play Lincoln. If it's not a full movie about Lincoln, but Lincoln needs to appear, they call me. Yeah, I'm the guy. I'm your Lincoln. That's amazing. Well, I want to see it. What would you give it?

Let's give it a star rating. Let's give it a half. I would give it, uh, um, three and, a half harmonica is out of four. That's pretty good. Yeah. That's pretty good. Yeah. And I don't even know if I have any complaints about it. I feel like, like the music, every time you see him working on a new song or he's in the studio recording, like, oh, I love that song. Oh, this is so good. Yeah. And he does a great job. And I'm, I'm pretty sure he's singing it. So. Yeah, no, the other thing was that Salome is doing the voices and everything. So I wonder if he did, uh, do you know if he was playing,

learned how to play guitar for this and, and, and, and, you know, good, good question. looked like he is actually doing the chords and good question this interview i started and didn't finish where they where he talked about 10 months of no phone and no contact or whatever i didn't i didn't finish it so he may get into more of that but i don't know if he's like in the instruments or not it's really good though like i i it's so easy just to go former youtube 360 hacker turned actor turned mega star turned babe but babe now everyone wants to see him and everything, and it's easy to get cynical, but I'm telling you, I think that that dude is on

his way. Yeah, yeah. And he'll always be Paul Atrades to me, the chosen one. He'll always be my young Wonka. Yeah, according to this article, he spent five years preparing for this role, which included learning to sing

and play guitar, and that's great. That is amazing. That's great. Wow. Getting his paycheck. That's devotion to a role, and good on him for doing that. That's a third of his life. That's right. That's a chunk of time. Five years.

Because he's about 15, isn't he? No, he's older than that. He's in his 20s, isn't he? I'm kidding. No, okay. I was like, wait a minute. There's no way he's that young, can he be? But then I think those fanning girls should all be 10 still and they're not.

Right. Yeah, exactly. So what do we know? I don't know nothing about time. Well, all right. Let's take a look at Brian Dunaway's prowess as a trivia player. He's not a complete unknown that Brian Dunaway. No, no.

well that's weird i'm getting a uh air on the thing you may have to reset that i don't know if that's oh really okay i'll refresh it might just be me probably because i know if i if i launch it too i mean if i launch it early in preparation then it uh says i'm not in though disconnected you try reconnecting to it okay let me in that time it may have to don't know i try to get back into the thing when you get a sec because i think it kicked them both out oh you're the best you're great Look who it is. It's Brian Dunaway, joining us on our first proper Monday of the year to play a little game. Hi, Brian. Welcome back. How are you? Oh, hi, Scott and Brian. Doing pretty good. Can't complain.

Yeah, yeah. How's work today? I'm so glad you don't sound like this today. I can't make any promises. We'll see. Yeah, I think you resolved all your stuff. Although you're on your work headset thing anyway today, right? That's right. Yeah. You sound great. We're playing a different game. A very different game.

A game that we might win, we might lose, we don't know. But there are two people in our audience who are going to win no matter what happens. Brian, why don't you explain how this works and who those people are? Okay. Welcome to the morning half ass is a trivia game where I'm actually going to be giving the two of you the answers. I'm going to give Scott and Brian a category and six possible answers. Three of which are correct. And three, like Mike's Way and Chicken are incorrect.

Depending on how confident you feel with the category, you can provide one, two or three guesses. But if you get any guesses wrong, zero points for that round. Get one right. point. Two right gets you three points. My gosh, three right gets you a whole five points. The play with the most points after three rounds wins the prize for their contestant and contestants are pulled from members of the tadpool that aren't able to listen live. Scott, you're going to be playing for Mark in Fairbanks, Alaska. Nice. Real quick, before you tell me the next guy, it's through an error and says an error occurred while processing

a request development mode. I'm in development mode. Get out of development. Let me refresh. Let me try a refresh. I'll be in a real hole ass this morning, Scott. Well, I don't know what's going on. It's just hanging. Let me try the original link. Oh, okay, now it's letting me maybe sign in again. Let me end.

Game is full. I'll refresh it and see if that helps you. All right. I'll try it again. How many Scots can be in the same room? Yeah, because it still shows you as logged in. I'll say Scott J. Just for fun.

Let me all hit reset players. All right. Give me a second. All right. Now, re. now, yeah, sorry. But now I'm going to do something. You got to reconnect to, Brian.

Oh, okay, it works. There we go. I think we're good. I mean, that was a temporary blip. We're all good now. Cool. All right, Scott, you're still going to be playing for Mark in Fairbanks, Alaska. Brian, you're going to be playing for Joshua in Central Virginia.

Josh. Wait, Central Virginia? Yeah. Central Virginia. I'm familiar with Virginia in West Virginia. Yeah, there's a whole new state. Oh, no, they've seceded. There's now a new state called Central Virginia.

It's right there, right there in between the yin and the yang of the two Virginians. I like it. In that little spot right there in the middle. Yeah, the taint of the Virginias is where it is. That's right. Yes, exactly. Taint West Virginia, Taint Virginia, central Virginia. All right, let's get to it.

Your question, Numero of Uno. All right, I'm starting you off with an easy one. Let's just get you guys some points on the board, shall we? Sure. Question number one, which of these are bounty hunters in the Star Wars movies? You've got Bosque, Bel-Wa-Wa-Wi, Zaytoven, KJ-52, IG-88, and Zem Wessel. Zaytovin. For the hell is a Zaytovin.

This thing's still being weird, but I think it's going to let me vote. Yeah, waiting for players to stop ranting about great meeple debate. I mean, what you see, I see, so it's working. Yeah, I've seen that too. Is it letting you click on anything? Well, don't click on anything while you're... Well, I won't show anyone. but let me, I'll click one, you tell me if...

Your says something weird. Yours says the meple debate thing. Mine doesn't say that. Yours just says bri-bri. So I don't know what's going on. But I'm seeing the same thing on your side. Well, all right. The same thing as well.

So if I choose one, oh, it's not letting me choose. Yeah. All right. Should I reset again? Yeah. Let's try it one more time. Remember your answers, Brian, because you're going to have to redo them. I'm just going to fully reset the game.

I'm going to reset players. All right. Go ahead and reconnecting. What if I pick a different color? You think that'll make a difference? I mean, you do you. Okay, now it says I'm in. Yeah, now we look like we're okay.

Okay. So did that show up for you, that selection there? It showed up for me, so I'm seeing it. Excellent. All right. So now we're back to just as if nothing happened. Let's see here. I know two of these.

I mean, I know all three of them. well I knew one for sure but then I was just going to go with that one but then you're like I know too I'm like I guess I go with the second one I kind of thought not sure about yeah all right well you both locked in with two and you both locked in with the same two ask and IG 88 which of course the the two that are standing there on the the bridge of the what is it the interceptor no the whatever the name of Darth Vader's Star Destroyer was he's no good to be dead is is what I think Bobafet, but Right, but they're all in that same

little room, right? They're all same in that same little thing, you know, with Basque's toes hanging over, executed. Thank you, you wouldn't make us. So good job. Three points for you guys. Zam Wessel, the third one. The other three are rappers.

KJ52, Nawawi, and Zatovin are all rappers. That's great. And KJVit2, I'm not familiar with Zatovan, but I love it. I have never heard of any of them. Zathevon is pretty good, yeah. So, wait a minute, so Sam Wessel,

we know him from what? Zam Wessel from I think the Corrassant Chase in the second in episode two. Oh,

in clones. Okay. I think I want to take another watch of the Star Wars series, but I think I want to focus it on the bounty hunters. Like watch it and just like focus. Not anybody else.

Just watch the bounty hunters. So you're saying like skip around to what only time bounty hunters are doing things? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Just like with their stories. The bounty hunter cut of Star Wars is an interesting idea. That would be really good.

Yeah. Give us a bounty hunter. Have we gotten, we haven't gotten a bounty hunter focused series yet, right? I don't think so. You mean like a movie or are you talking about? No, like a series, like a like one of the Disney Plus series.

I mean the book of Boba Fett, yeah. Right. But it's still not quite what Brian's asking for, though. He becomes mayor. He doesn't, he's not. It's not what I'm looking for. The bounty, but kind of Mandalorian is not a bounty hunter, but

it's sort of the path of that we're asking for, which is like, go out and do stuff. He happened to be a bounty hunter, but also a Mandalorian, right? Yeah. Yeah. I want a new, I want like one that is straight up bounty hunter ass going through the galaxy, got a price on his head, got to go take somebody out.

Yeah, I want space. I just got this child. Yeah, I want a, I want space pirate stuff. That's what I want. And I want the whole story to be around it. Somebody told me that the new, the one that's kind of kid focused is kind of like that. There's some of that in there. I'm hearing that's pretty good too.

You know, I think. You just know they're all going to get murdered though. All the kids. Sure. Yeah. By some rogue. Skeleton crew. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I want to know how like people are saying it's, it's almost like it's the best thing since Andor that's come from Star Wars series. Mm-hmm. Um, but I don't, I'd want to make sure it's not like, yeah, because it's, you know, you're watching spiting as amazing friends version of Star Wars. I want to make sure it's like, what's funny and his amazing friends. Nothing.

It's just not for us, Brian. But that's not necessarily what I want. Yeah, you don't, Brian, look, you're looking to sit down and bench something hardcore. It ain't spidey and is an amazing friend. It's just not. Yeah. Maybe not you. You ask five-year-old little van.

Yeah, he'll say yes. He'll do it. But that's who it's for me to a five-year-old man. I am absolutely doing that. We do regularly. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you're potty trained, but you're just not quite, you know, you know what I'm saying. Yeah. I got you. No. I course says it's fun. It's Goonies and space. That I'm in for. I'm up for

Goonies and space. Right. I probably would be too if I'd sing go. Call on line four. That's for you, Brian. Yeah. Yeah. It's a ringin. Let it go. What do they care? It's some IT problem. I'm in lunch. I'm at lunch. I'm at lunch. I'm at lunch right. All right. Well, now that we've given you your easy one, let's go to some tougher ones here. Question number. Two, cities that have been home to a U.S. Mint. Which of these cities have been home to a U.S. Mint? Your choices are New Orleans, Sacramento, West Point, Denver, Richmond, and Kansas City. Oh my gosh. I don't know this. So mint? Like U.S. mint.

Mint. Yes. Like a mint that produces money. So it's not like a little tiny breath freshener in every city. Not a thing that's on your pillow. left there by by housekeeping. I'm going to go, I'm going to do the

cheesy thing and pick the stuff that just sounds right. Okay. Because I don't know. Let's see. Fisherman Virginia. Kansas City? Wait, where's, where's, Fort Knox is a mint, right?

Or is that just a fort with a bunch of gold in it? I don't know how that works. I'm like fart knot to my right. You have to rewatch Goldfinger to find that out. I'm going to go to two because I don't know. I'm sorry. I went with three. Sorry, Dono way. I went with three. I got to quit. I got it. He's been locked for minutes.

I've been locked on 20 minutes ago. I don't want to I got to quit projecting my total. Who's the five-year-old now? That's right. All right. Let's see. You guys each settled on two choices. You both settled on Kansas City. Kansas City can't beat the Broncos.

Can't even score points against the Broncos. and they don't have a mint. Yeah, West Point, New Orleans, and Denver. I thought for sure Denver was the gimmie, because you hear about Denver Mint, Denver Mint. I should have went with that. New Orleans seemed unlikely. On your penny, you see a little D or a little P for Philadelphia or...

So tell me about your little D. Little D, it's a little D. So the Franklin Mint was bullshit. That was never a real mint. The Franklin Mint is just a company that mints. collectors plates and collectors' do not have any monetary value

Yeah, pewter statues of bullshit is what they make That's right And Fort Knox stores gold But does not produce anything And am I right that Fort Knox is in Kansas City though? I think I thought Fort Knox was in Texas

In my Oh, I thought it would I'd be a worse I'd be a worse Secret agent That's why I picked Kansas City Because I thought it was You'd actually be the best

because they would question you and you would get it wrong. Yeah, I just don't know. In Kentucky. Thank you. Kentucky. I did not, yeah. Damn it. All right. I'd be like, James, I need you to go to Fort Knox to prevent Goldfinger from stealing the world's gold supply.

Oh, cool. Is that in Texas or is that in Kansas? Yeah, where is that? Says James Bond. Yeah, I got my K's mixed up, my K states. Oh, well. Yeah. What are you going to do?

All right. Let's get to. I guess that's Missouri, but whatever. Anyway. Let's get to question number three. Let's go history. Inventions of the ancient Egyptians. Which of these things did the Egyptians invent?

The compass, prosthetic devices, scissors, the catapult, dominoes, not the pizza, or toothpaste. Oh, my gosh, dude. The Egyptians invented three of these. I'm going to go. I know. one, because I just feel like I've seen it. The rest of these are very... This is hard.

I know, yeah. That's why you gave you the Star Wars one. It's like your palate cleanser, like a little easy. Throw your burn kind of thing before we get into the tough ones. All right. I'm going to go with these two. I don't know what else to do. Okay.

All right. Scott, you settled on two of them. Dunway, you locked in on one. Let's see what happens here. Scott, you picked prosthetic devices. Yeah, like an arm's missing. That is an invention of the ancient Egyptians. Yeah, they invented prosthetic devices.

I saw some kind of documentary or something. Yeah, or yeah, even what it was. It was some kind of documentary, and they said, here we have depicted a artificial arm for a guy who lost his arm or something like that. Yeah. There's some memory of that. Oh, that'd be a scary mummy, wouldn't it? Yeah, it would. And now we get to the other two answers here.

Scott, you pick Domino's. Brian, you pick toothpaste. One of these is right and one of these is not right. Oh, boy. I'm scared. Somebody is about to get some points. We're going to find out who it is. It's done away.

Toothpaste is an Egyptian invention. Domino's is not an Egyptian invention. That's crazy. How? Oh, that's indebted. insane to me. Egyptians? Hold on.

I want to see how far back. All right. I'm looking. I'm searching. Here it is. They didn't inventing 5,000 years BCE. That's crazy.

The first recording of toothpaste. Yeah. Egyptians made of tooth powder. Ashes of ox hooves, my powdered, and burnt eggshells. Oh, my gosh. Oh, good. Well, there's finally we figure out what

is used for. Good Lord. I thought our mix it with other garbage. and put it in your mouth. I thought our crest whitening formula was bad. Look at this stuff. That's wild. I was there for it.

Yeah. It just looks like it's just like a lot of disgusting things. They also put stuff in there. Oh, they used neem tree twigs as brushes. Oh, wow. It beats the finger. Yeah. The event, I see, but in Japan, it was the first place to make a tube in a box that had stuff in it.

And that was in 1769. Good Lord. All right. Well, that means. Congratulations, going to Joshua M in Central Virginia. Joshua, you're getting a copy of Pago Forest Tower Defense and Degrees of Separation. We tried to give these away last week, and the person who won them didn't have a Steam account or a PC that could play them. So they said, put them back in the hopper.

And then, Mark, in Fairbanks, you're getting a copy of Canarium. I'm not sure what any of these are except one has Tower Defense, and you can have it because I hate Towers. Don't need it. Yeah. Some people love Tower Defense games. Not me. I hate him. Well, good.

Well, everybody wins except me. I lose today. And that's okay. But Brian wins. Congratulations. Good job. That makes up for the two weeks of play retro where you lost to my game that we play on there.

Yeah. Yeah. Do you feel redeemed from that? Do you feel okay about it? Yeah. I think so. Yeah. Okay.

We just put this episode up last night. We recorded it live and put it up last night. It's all about the 1993 Sega. attempt to dethrone the big fighting games of the day eternal champions. They would go on to make a version with some new characters and some other stuff on the Sega CD and then they stopped. And then that series just sat there and did nothing. But there are a lot of fans. Turns out

freaky amounts of fans of the series and we go deep into it. So check out that brand new episode that just went up. And then this week we go to another Sega property and we talk about what is it, Brian? Oh, we're going to talk about After Burner. After Burn. Cool. Oh, yes. Yep.

Getting your little roll cage, shoot some planes down, play Top Gun, you know. That's fun. Yeah, that's a good one. It's great stuff. So we're going to talk all about that this coming week or this coming Friday. But that's a lot of play retro within about six days' time. So enjoy it. Hey, Brian, is there anything else you'd like to say to us before we kick you out?

No, you. Oh, man. It's a good way to start the year. He beat me. It's good. Yeah. Proud to be in American. Too fast.

Too fast. The time off helped him build up his reflexes. Absolutely. Cat-like reflexes. Here is one news story for you find folks at home hoping that there was news today. And it's brought to you by. The Film Sack Brian Ibbott Sessions, Volume 1, up now at frogpants.shop. What the heck is that you're asking?

Well, get all 45 intro songs that I did in the year 2024 for FilmSack. sack in one collection, one set of MP3s with vocals and everything. It's all the original masters, so quality is great, no fishing through Discord and all that. All 45 songs, believe me, these are

short, but put it on at your next dinner party and listen there. And what's great is you get the whole thing. Oh, yeah, Monica, the only person, the only voice you hear in that one, that's not me. Oh, the guest by a wicked kitten herself, Monica. Yeah. For the

the Weezer parody that I did. Available right now at Frogpants. Shop for just 10 bucks. If nothing else, support independent music. How many tracks, 45 tracks? 44, 45 tracks because I do two versions of Boys in the Hood. Oh, that's right.

That's right. So, yeah, that's a ton. A rap version and the Dynamite Hacked version. Yeah, name another track list that long that you can get for 10 bucks. You can't do it. For 10 bucks is just. just ridiculous yeah uh anyway and and you know it's even more fun if you haven't seen all the

film sack movies listen to these and try and guess what the film sack movie is that i'm singing about yeah it's uh you know it's it becomes a game yeah it's a fun game yeah think of it that way ten bucks for a game and music oh man that's right it will not be a vinyl version coming no and and this won't be available forever just because you know it's uh uh uh we the the original arrangements may cause, well, we'll cause any problems later, but we just don't want to offer these up in perpetuity.

No, they'll be there for a while, so get them while they're hot. And if you want to imagine a vinyl version, imagine, just picture Brian in vinyl singing the song, in a vinyl, some sort of vinyl sex suit. It's right, in a black vinyl shiny suit. I will say this, I do want a vinyl version of the Bow and John's song from

core. This is what happens when you get real musicians or a real musician involved with doing uh doing uh songs that rap is amazing it is so it's fantastic yeah bo is a music he no one ever knows this about him but he's a freaking talented musician and can do a lot of stuff he used his uh his tms theme in the past and it's so damn good yeah yeah does his core theme every week's fantastic stuff uh all right quick story here a baby bird found alive inside a dead man's stomach after being swallowed during a fertility ritual. Feels like that kind of went the opposite way, a little bit.

Yeah. Did swallowing the baby bird killed a dude is what I want to know? I'm going to guess at a roll. Well, let's find out. The sudden death of a 35-year-old man. Couldn't help. Yeah, it couldn't help. Only became more shocking when his autopsy revealed a live baby bird

potentially swallowed as part of an occult fertility ritual lodged in his throat. So yes, it did contribute to his death. Yeah, there we go. Okay. Choked on a baby bird. Nice. Well done. Anand Yadev of Chatsigrh, India.

I don't know how to say that. Sure. Collapsed at home after feeling dizzy and fainting shortly after taking a bath. According to the Hindustan times, he was rushed to a nearby hospital where doctors were initially puzzled by the cause of death during the autopsy, Dr. Santu Bag. Amazing name. If I was in India, I would change my name to Bag, my last name to Bag. That's great. Yeah, yeah.

B-A-G. Amazing. Love it. Santa bag. You're the one. Anyway, discovered a live chick. That is to say a baby chicken, not a good-looking lady at the beach. Not somebody you're going to come back to pick up later with your Mr. Microfoam.

No, not that one. Different one. Approximately 20 centimeters long, lodged in Yadav's throat. The chick had obstructed his airway and food passage, causing asphyxiation. I don't know how you just feel dizzy. Wouldn't you be choking and hacking and all that? I would think so, yeah. Weird thing. He says, this is the first time I've encountered such a case in my career, says Dr. Bag. Again, incredible name. Incredible name. Never lose it.

Excuse me, is who performed over 15,000 autopsies. He said in the newspaper, Villagers claim Yadav have been consulting a tantric occultist. Or tantric means an occultist. And this is nothing to do with the tantric sex thing that Sting does. I don't think. I mean, it's something, it basically just is the, the fact that they practice the tantric. Oh, the fertility thing. Meditation and, yeah, and just, they're different, probably just different things you could do with your tantricism. I'll bet, I'll bet those tantric coaches. I bet they hate it when you just say, so it's this class, it's just basically edging, isn't it? It's just edging. It's like what Sting does?

Yeah, this is what like Sting does where he just, like, holds off all night? Is that what this is? Okay. Cool. due to struggles with infertility and suspect that swallowing the chick was part of a ritual intended to help him become a father.

Yeah, I'm just going to go ahead and say that that's the red flag. You need to swallow this live bird to be fertile. Freaking F off with your freaking voodoo, dude. It does feel like that is the, that should have been the immediate red flag for this guy and

sorry, don't do it. It's stupid. All right, well, we're going to take a break after that fantastic news story. When we come back, Bobby will be here with some science, you know? Yeah, he'll love a little science. It's not going to be about swallowing baby birds for fertility. No, no.

In fact, it'll be genuine, like, real science, not pseudo-science. Yeah, it'll be real-do, real-doh, real-doscience. Trudeau signs. Oh, I like Trudeau. That's good, except no one likes Trudeau. Oh, yeah, good point. Yeah, true. Not pseudos science, Trudeau signs.

I mean, he's a handsome man, but everyone wants him to quit. Isn't he leaving or something? And something's happening in Canada. He's done or something? I don't know. Canadians, we're here for you. Canadians, we hear you. Okay?

We hear you. We have our own problems. We do. Brian, why don't you tell us what we're playing here for the break? Sure. This is a band called Pancico. And I looked at this thing and said, it's not Pachinko, even though it's got all the letters.

And the end is just in a different place. No, it is Pancico. For some trip hop, this is really cool. This is, they have a brand new album that's going to be coming out, April 4th via network records. The album is called Ginko, as in Ginkgo Beloba. This is the title track. It is Ginko. The band

is Pancico. Here's the song Ginko. First I saw it half in size and vanished out of you. Don't know how big it was, don't think that I want to. I hear it makes you crazy. Spending you out of shame More Than I ever

Could my love Such a funny thing Don't know what I would You command the leaves to fall, the ginkgo bends at will. I like things that keep their state, I always get my fill. Now here it makes you lazy And I'll face Spending you are more

More Come my love Such a funny thing Don't know of you You should give a f*** You really should But only about things that set your soul on fire Save those f***s for magical sht

One love y'all The rod up that man's butt must have a rod up its butt. And we've returned. Tell me more of the song we played just now. Yeah, trippy side of radio had some ethereal, dreamy art rock. That is the band Panchiko. And their new song, Ginko, from their upcoming album of the same name.

There you go. You didn't have to say Ginkgo twice, thank goodness, this time. I have to say Ginko again. It's the same name that I just said. They all sound like parlor games to me, everything about it. I'm going to play some Panchinko ginko. Ooh, that sounds great. Yeah, it's a little heavy on the house favor, but, you know, you throw a few bucks out of it.

You'll be fine. All right, you guys, it's time for this. Science. Bob is hungry, and the soup looks good. It sure does. Speaking of blinded, oh, now it's dark. Nope, he's good now. It's Bobby, joining us with his camera work and his magnet.

magnificent smile bobby welcome to the show how are you yeah rapid um cinematography here yeah i like it that's all right that particular app you have to use is is notorious for such things so yeah understandable we work with what we got yeah we do with what we have it's the science of the show really we just work with what we have speaking of that brian or uh bobby here is a science podcaster has a show called all around science which we'll talk about again a little bit later uh but he's always got his mind on his money and his money on his mind. All right? I sure do.

He's got 99 problems, but science ain't what? That's right. He and I also successfully tanked this stupid queen Ancerac down the other night for the first time and beat a bunch of other scrubs in our guild and it felt very good and I just want the world to know that that was also scientifically

satisfying, though we did that. That was really great and fantastic. The first couple of pools of that night we were like, I don't know if this is going happen and then it just happened all of a sudden yeah six pole seven poles in whatever it was bam done yeah yeah i was a little beside myself and i'll tell you what after a day of food poisoning uh i sure felt good then from then and forward it it set the tone for the rest of my weekend in a and i mean i hate to do this to you but i think the ac guy is calling me just a second

oh no the ac guy oh shit well look he lives in a place where you need your ac your HVAC needs are paramount, Brian. You can't just, you know. I think we're going to be able to show up sometime between 1 p.m. and Thursday. February 3rd. Right. How to go, Bobby? Everything good.

False alarm, false alarm. Okay, good. Who wasn't instead? Was it a... It was the school district. They're constantly calling. With, like, updates and... You just can't get enough, man.

Sure. Come on. That's not because your kids are in trouble. It's because, like, they got new... policies. No, it's just like, this is so-and-so from the school district, and we have a fundraiser coming up and blah-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-ha. Kids have not shown up to school today.

Is everything okay? I guess it could be that, and I would never know because I just hang up. Yeah. Yeah, why, how would you know? Well, that's fantastic. I'm glad your kids are doing good. Hey, let's get into the science topic of today. What did you bring with you?

So, I mentioned this when we did the play date last week to everyone who was there. I think it was to them I mentioned it that I just recently went to the eye doctor and I was prescribed progressive lenses. Oh. Okay. Okay. These are ones that are

they're big on trans rights making sure like some universal health care. They don't want to be called Democrat lenses. No. You wouldn't really call them leftist lenses because that would imply they're all over here in the left side. You can't have that.

you're right yeah i get it this is you know what's a bipartisan contact that's what you got there right so um it was the first of so i'm 40 right and it was the first of uh the the first time i've been to any sort of medical person and they've told me like here's the here's the thing you're getting old now and and this is happening to you so it was the first of those yeah and um and so So progressive lenses for people who don't know are just, they're like the old bifocal lenses, but they just blurr. There's no line. They just blur them. It's you have a different, different prescription in the top part of the lens versus the bottom part of the lens. Right. And it's supposed to be for being able to see up close versus far away differently because that happens when you get older. And what I do to deal with stress and existential dread is I learn. about things and I research and fill my brain with knowledge and it helps to to I guess if I fill my brain with knowledge it doesn't leave any room for for anxiety you know what I mean yeah yeah basically it's the shiny object that keeps you from thinking about the right it's like it's like oh you have

yeah yeah oh you have uh this eye related condition and instead of being like oh my god I'm getting I think like, oh, that's neat why that happens. You know, it's kind of like that. Oh, it's a good idea because, by the way, so as someone who experienced the same thing but then had it upended because of a surgery, it's basically the muscles around your lens is atrophy with time, with age.

And at least this is what my doctor told me. And so the idea is that you used to when you're young, you look at something far, assuming you have decent eyes, even with glasses, it's focused and you look at something close and your eyes adjust because those muscles, stretch, pull, loosen, whatever, right to adjust for it that stops working very well and that's why people start

needing readers and everything else in my case I had early cataracts from a weird condition my family passed down to me and now I have locked vision mono locked vision at about screen distance for 2020 and everything else is glasses you know dependent yeah so I don't even have the option I can't even do the progressive thing I have to just live I have to live with my locked in because I got these robot lenses all the little titanium slash i forget what the clear parts made of but they just sit in there now and they give me one focal length and that's all i get they're still somehow better than my eyes were even when i was 10 somehow my eyes are better now than they've ever been because of

that surgery even though technically it should for any other person it would have made your eyes freaking way worse but for me it made them better that's how shitty well i'm glad i'm glad you have a lot of uh personal experience with it because that's what i wanted i went on to this down this rabbit hole of coping but and so I looked up a bunch of like age related eye conditions kind of understanding what's going on with my eyes now and getting an idea of what I might have coming sure sure what might be coming right away down the road we get it sure right so I thought let's a lot of these are words that people have probably heard before and just don't know what they are so I thought I'd share

my knowledge of things that I learned about what happens to your eyes as you get older and there's a number of different things. So what you were talking about, Scott, we could start there, I guess, with, um, with the reason why you might need progressive lenses or in your case. So you said you had, um, your lenses were replaced. Was it a, you had cataracts. That's probably why the lenses got replaced. So what, so what, let me give you timeline. So when I was around 40, 41, uh, I started to have the whole near vision suffering. I'm not adjusting to to to but they're just not adjusting like they used to that's normal across the board everybody not just a yeah and that's called presbyopia correct correct presby part

referring to age and opia being right you know like the eye yeah and so at the time I was wearing both glasses and occasionally contacts when I was doing like outdoor activity type stuff and in those cases the doctor's like well you can get these like you said progressive lenses or whatever come in, well, let's do a full workup and let's just see where we want to go. And that's when they discovered the early growth of the cataracts

on my natural lenses. And they went, oh, let's... Different path. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Let's start with talking about the presbyopia and then we'll go to the cataracts

to understand why they decided not to treat the presbyopia. Yeah. So presbyopia, like I said, that's just you lose your ability to focus on close-up objects as you get older. That's normal. Everybody goes through that. It's pretty much everyone will have this happen to them at some point in time.

It's just different. It'll have onset at different times depending on the individual, right? But the reason is because your lens and your eye is sort of like a, it's like a flexible sort of semi, it's not really rigid, but it's like it's tougher than the other parts of your eye. But it's flexible because your eye has these muscles all around the lens that pool. on it and stretch it to change how it focuses. If you hold something up close the muscles kind of tighten to

allow the lens to get thicker and it makes it so that... Yeah, it'll magnify it more as the lens gets thicker so that the focal point of whatever you're looking at will now fall on your retina like it's supposed to.

Because if you don't change anything, thing. And this might be sort of like foreshadowing what we're going to talk about with the way your eyes currently are, Scott. If you don't change the lens at all, then the closer you move something to your face, the reason it gets blurrier is not because your lens can't focus it. It's because your lens is trying. As it gets closer, the focal point of that object will now be behind your retina. Right. And so if it's behind your retina, then that means it hasn't focused yet, and so it'll be blurry. So the way your eye normally compensates for that is by thickening the lens so that

that focal point will shift forward and properly land on your retina. Now, as you get older, the lens gradually stiffens. And it starts from birth, basically, but it doesn't become a problem usually until around 40-ish to 50. And the reason that it stiffens is because there's all these proteins in your lens that kind of get chemically as they're moving around and everything over time they sort of

like get chemically bonded to each other and then become stiff and the proteins can't move around as much anymore and that that stiffness causes and also it gets denser the material in your lens gets denser and that starts at the center of the lens and then moves

out and also at the same time what you were saying the muscle is at the same time weakening over time so those two things compound together to make it so that you can't focus. So if you want to read and people need readers because you're holding that close to your face, you typically see people, they don't have problems still focusing on things far away because that properly focuses still.

But the stiffness of the lens and the weakening muscles make it so that things that are closer to your face just can't adjust the lens anymore. Yeah. It's a little bit like you have a, everyone's probably experienced something like this. but you have a camera like a, like a cannon, and it's an SLR, and you've got two lenses for it. You've got one that lets you adjust for distance. Yeah. And so you're like, oh, my subjects must closer, closer, e, e, eat, do it, or autofocuses, right?

But then you have lenses that are maybe a 50 millimeter or something you put on there that has great boca or some other effect, but it does not let you adjust it. And so the camera's the thing that then has to move to the proper position to be the exact focal length. that's basically what you're 50 50 yeah it's what your eyes do you become like an overhead projector in junior high where they have to kind of move the desk back yeah we say you focus at that point when you're focusing with your feet with those lenses yeah yeah because you have to move closer or farther away to get proper focus i like that um but uh but yeah exactly right and so that's what's happening with my eyes is the presbyopia thing and um and so the bottom of the lenses that on these glasses that I have now are, I have to hold it. It's really weird. It's taken, I think I'm

kind of getting used to it today, but it's been taking a few days for me to get used to it. I sort of felt a little drunk the first day and, and, um, because it's weird. Little things that you don't notice like, like I used to just be able to sitting at my desk here, look down with my eyes and see things. Yeah. Yeah. And now, now when I just look down, I kind of have to move my whole head down now. But anyway, it's a little weird. But that's why it's happening because the lens is all stiff and everything. Now, another lens problem, because here's the cool thing about the eyes. The eye is so complicated and amazing. The way things have to happen is first the light comes through your cornea, which is the covering over your eye. Then it goes through the

lens, which focuses the light down to a point. It has to go through all the liquid that's in the middle of your eye, then it has to hit the back of the retina, which then has to transmit or translate those signals to electrical signals. So it has to then go through the optic nerve. Like, it's all a complicated series of such things that have to happen in order for you to see something. And so a problem in any of those steps will make it so you can't see very well. It's amazing that any of us can see anything at all. It kind of is. Like, it really, if you really think about what, especially when you put in front of you some really tiny type or something.

The fact that we're ever really able to do that at all shows some pretty advanced freaking evolution and how our visual recepting works, you know? Yeah, because there are a lot of creatures out there like flatworms, which they can see, quote unquote, but really all it is, and this is how it all began before we evolved these eyeballs, was just spots on the body that can detect the presence of light, right? and that's how it started and so over time it became very very complex but

the presbyopia thing is a problem with the lens right it's the same with it's the same with cataracts though it's a different kind of lens problem and that's what your doctor found and so do you know what do you know about cataracts

since you've gone through it so what I thought I knew was wrong oh okay I thought that the only at the time anyway when you would hear cataracts my thinking was like a lot of diseases of all sorts of types you think you you often just have misinformation in your head but i always thought it's like 80 year olds and up that's that's the only time you see it sure yeah and i always just thought well that's just the law so when they

told me that i went you guys i'm a young guy still what is this i was a little freaked out and he says no no no there are some rare cases and it is still rare to get them that young but um my dad had I didn't understand it at the time. My dad had him right around the same time, but I was a teenager having fun and didn't think it mattered, right? I wasn't really paying attention. Dad's got cataracts. What does that mean? Let's go to the internet that doesn't exist yet, that sort of thing. Let's go to the encyclopedia Britannica. Yeah, let's pull out 50 volumes of that and see if we can find it. Do you think it's under E for eyes or C for cataracts? So I didn't worry about any of that, and I just sort of let it go. So when I found out about this says, yes, there is a genetic condition. uh that you that you can have where this just happens early and yours just happens to be coinciding with the atrophy of the of the muscles so you're just kind of having this all at the same time and one eye was rapidly cataracking for lack of a better term and the other one was slowly doing it and i want to just tell people if you ever find yourself halfway through a cataract build meaning your your your eyes are clouding slowly over time and you get about halfway of it being pretty

bad go to Vegas just one night go to Vegas and drive up and down the strip it is the wildest light show you will ever see in your life because everything is a streaky weird throbby strange light it's so weird and it was hard to deal with actually it was kind of hard on the show it was hard because I was constantly like having to look at angles and stuff because the centers of my vision were just slowly becoming crystallized white it was awful and you could see it looking in the mirror finally after a while you could see like what you expect to see with somebody with, you know, in the 1800s going, I'm going to sit on this porch for the rest of my life and tell blind man stories or whatever.

That would have been me 150 years ago. Now it's the most, according to my doctor, Dr. Mifflin at the Moran Eye Center, that he's supposed to be the best in the state. He claimed that it is the most common surgery on the planet. Sure. Because there are a lot of places with like nutritional reasons that you get early cataracts. That wasn't my case. a lot of people at very young age

you'll get cataracts because their nutritional standards are terrible. So a lot of doctors without borders will go and do this stuff for free in North Korea or places like that when they can. Anyway, he says it's the most common and very successful. He had done something like 5,000 of them and he only had one patient ever die and it was two weeks later and she was 89.

Wow. And it wasn't nothing to do with the eye surgery. She just happened to die that same week so they have to count it. But I didn't really get into why you have to count it. But anyway, It's just a circumstance you have to mention. Well, she had surgery, but they don't put you out for it either. They cover up your eye. They numb it like crazy. They give you a nice shot of feel good.

And then they grind it out with a combination grinder thing and a vacuum that grinds up your lens, sucks out all the fluid with it. So you just got a big empty hole in there. And then they replace it with these little titanium-legged things that go click and stick to your. um iris yep and stay there and then they put artificial fluid to to get your vituous fluid going again

and then you do that naturally about five days later your eyes itch like crazy and you can't touch them and then you're fine wow so that was the process about this this is really great I think it's fantastic and in the 40s and 50s by the way when you experience it yeah when you had when you had this done in the 50s this is the wild day he told me all kinds of great stories when I talked to him but he says in the 50s if you were to get cataracts. We hadn't gotten very far in how to deal with these. Right now, it's like an eight-minute

surgery. Not much prep. You're in, you're out. They do the eyes on different days. You don't do them at the same day. But it's very quick. You never go to sleep. It's like super easy and always successful. Like, no big deal in 2024 or even in 2015 or whatever it was. I did it. But he said in the 50s, if you had it done, the procedure was they would go in, remove your lenses. And then you had to lay between literally sandbags, maybe not dirty ones, but you know, clean ones, but sand bag, bags full of sand that would hold your head still for seven and a half days in a hospital and you couldn't move. You had to sit like this for it to heal. And then when you were done, you had to wear the only solution for any kind of corrective eye wear was not, they didn't replace your lenses. They took them out completely and gave you giant glasses that were as thick as a brick. And that's why you see those big frog-eyed looking people back in the day that just, just looked like they are, you know, magnified to hell and back. That was why. So I'm just saying I'm so glad I live in a time where, A, I'm not, I'm not in a rocking

chair in Tombstone telling stories with my wide eyes and dead by 47. Or the 50s where I had to spend seven days like that, then the rest of my life with freaking, you know, giant tires on my eyes to see anything. And even then they could barely see. It was really bad. Like now it's so common and so easy. like he played Led Zeppelin in the room while I was having it done

it was like it was just like a light show and he was humming he was going I think it was a immigrant song uh yeah the one where it's yeah so he's going he's going

mm-hmm hmm hmm like that that's fantastic that's anyway that's sorry I don't mean to monopolize the story but that it was a wild experience that's that's great I love it when when you've got experience with it

and you know a lot about it, that's, that's really awesome. You covered most of all of it. It's just, a cataract is just cloudiness in your lens. That's all it is. And it can happen for a lot of different reasons, well, maybe not a lot, but the most common reason is just proteins in the lens. Again, proteins in the lens break down over time and they clumped together. It's one of those things that is not guaranteed to happen to you,

but it definitely increases the likelihood that you're going to have cataracts with age. And like you said, it's rare under the age of 50. Usually you don't start noticing it until around age 50. But it can happen at very young age. And then it's very slow, too, even when you see it, it will take forever. Well, a lot of people don't even notice it until it's very advanced because it happens so slowly. You just get used to it, right? But like you said, one of the common ways that people notice it is halos.

that they see in their vision around bright lights and that's why you said crazy light show going down the strip yeah it was wild I couldn't drive for a little while because of it because it was so like if I at night anyway daytime was fine but if I drove at night even here with less lights Vegas no way I would I just die we just crashed yeah because it was that bad it was almost like a dream when you would see those lights and yeah here's the other here's the other funky thing like when you're young and you get it this is a problem in one new way because if you're 90 and you get it, you're done and that's it and you've fixed it

and you're good for the rest of your life. When you're young and you get it, the cells in your eyes are still very active and they want to keep replacing things. They don't want to just say, oh, he had surgery, let's stop growing, let's stop doing cell growth in certain places. So what happens, and I forgot the technical name for it, but the cells try to grow stuff back over the top of these new artificial lenses and create the effect of new cataracts. It's not the same but it's like the look of it and that happened to me and it was annoying as hell because they had to go in and they had to do this laser thing now where they went in and go like a little paper cutter around it and then created this like floaty blanket in my vision that will dissipate

over time the problem is it grows back falls off grows back falls off and even right now if I do like a nice head twist I get a big goes past right over there so I get a big old chunk so it kind of sucks there are times where that'll mess with my vision. Like right now it's right where I would read, but most of the time I can blink it out and it's gone. And he says it's just normal and they dissipate over time and sometimes they grow back. But that's the only downside of getting it early

is that your eyes are still like, well, no, I'm making cells. We're still a pretty good body. You know, we got this going on. Production hasn't stopped. Yeah, and some old people are lying to you, by the way, because John, who's 93, he does this off-timers like, you know, never had the cataracts, never had a problem?

I've got 20-20 vision, 94 years old. look at me look at me he's always bragging about it so when he does that i'll go hey john can you read this book for me tell me what this says i'll hand him a book and he'll go he'll do this for 10 minutes he'll be going you know like and i'm like all right you lion sack a freaking old man shit you totally can't read it anyway sorry that's just another side story but uh yeah eyes are eyes are so those are the two those are the two age related uh lens issues right presbyopia and cataract there are other issues though with how the the focal point in your vision falls in your eye and so that brings me to another one that people may have heard of but not know what it is which is astigmatism

so astigmatism is another age-related one it can develop over time as you get older about 70% of people over 65 have a stigmatism and that's another thing that they found with me when I went there is that I'd never had one before but they detected a very small a stigmatism while I was there. So what is a stigmatism? So it's kind of easier to understand a stigmatism if you understand very briefly how nearsightedness and far-sightedness works

because it's in contrast to that. So myopia, nearsightedness, is when you can see things close up more easily. And that's caused by the eye being longer than normal. It's sort of like just, I mean, that's best way to describe it is that it's a little bit longer than normal Because remember I said that your focal point, it has to land when you're focusing on something onto the retina.

So if your eye is a little bit longer than normal, then that focal point will be a little bit in front of your retina. So in order to see things better, you need to get, they need to be closer so that the focal point falls correctly onto your retina. Because remember I said before that if your lens isn't focusing properly and you hold something close up, then the focal point as you move things closer, it moves behind your retina. Well, if your eyes longer than that behind, quote unquote, would actually be on your retina. So that's what nearsightedness is. Everybody who has nearsightedness or is nearsighted and has myopia, that's the problem. Your eye is a little bit longer than normal. That's what I had before the surgeries.

Now I don't have it at all. And it's very common. Very, very common. Hyperopia is the opposite far-sidedness. And it's just the opposite problem. Either your eye is a little bit shorter than normal or another one is that your eye might be a little smaller than normal. And so that it just is the opposite problem. Everything, it's easier for you to see things farther away and close up things because it's trying to focus behind your eye.

And the way that that's different than presbyopia is because this is a problem with the shape of the eyeball, not a problem with the lens. Presbyopia is a problem with your lens, and that's why it's focusing further behind your eye. But this is a problem with the shape of your eyeball. now how is that how are both of these things different than a stigmatism so presbyopia near-sightedness far-sightedness your eye is either longer or shorter than normal a stigmatism though is a problem with the front of your eye either the cornea or the lens is misshapen in some way it's most commonly the lens um and what it will do is it will instead of causing the focal point to be farther in front

of or behind the retina, it moves you end up with multiple focal points because the shape of your lens or your cornea is weird and instead of being perfectly circular it might be like oblong or with some people who have

a stigmatism because of injury it might just be like topographically weird you know like deformed. You got like a like a boiled egg in there basically. Yeah. And so it causes then multiple focal points to form. So you have one focal point and then one slightly off of it and then next to it, which causes blurry vision. Because if you have two focal points or more, then it's going to cause things to look blurred, right? And so that's what a stigmatism is. And it's really easy to fix. They just have to detect it. They have to measure your eye if you ever go into that, stick your head up to that machine. The way it used to be is, It would have like, you'd look inside of it and it had like all these radial line, a focal point with a tiny circle in the middle and a bunch of radial lines sticking out from it.

Yeah. And you'd like you'd almost have to cross your eyes to get the two to overlay correctly, right? Like, yeah. Well, I guess I actually don't know. I'm blind in one eye, so I was only ever able to see one. But, uh, but yeah. So what it's doing is those radio lines are, um, it's measuring how, topographically deformed or or how your lens is deformed and how it how things have to move to focus

in order and and where those focal points land by looking at those lines and then that's how they describe the the astigmatism is what axis is it up or down on is it on is it like up on the x axis or on the y axis you know or is it over here somewhere causing an extra focal point and then they If they can measure that, then they can design your glasses or contact lenses in such a way that it just, it just compensates for it. It does the opposite and then, and has it properly fall in the right place on the back of your retina. Right. Wow. Yeah.

Eyes. Wild. Yeah, it is. So that's a stigmatism. The other two things that you might have heard of, which are I'll go through really quickly, you may have heard of age-related macular degeneration. Yeah, I've a friend. Someone, who do I know who has that?

Somebody I know has that. And it's, it's a condition that will worsen over time. Yes. If it's detected, they always check for it if you get an eye exam. It's definitely a reason why if you're starting to get up there in age like 40, definitely by 50, you should be absolutely going to the eye doctor once a year. Because these things, especially macular degeneration, it is a, it's a condition that progresses over time. it can't really be undone but it can be slowed down if it's caught early enough so you should definitely figure it out but what is it so um the part of your retina where most of the sharp vision happens where where everything is focused on is called the macula that's where the macular degeneration happens is why it's called that um and what it is basically uh it's a problem with that usually most commonly two things are causing it one or proteins can build up behind the retina that

cause a mis-shade, create bumps in the retina and make it misshaped, which makes it so it's not, things aren't focusing properly again. Like, they're not falling in the right place because it's bumpy. They're these like, almost like little stones or rocks that have protein buildups behind your retina. Also, it can happen from less commonly, but it can happen as a thinning of the retina. And if it's thinned, then it can, things can come up behind it, cause it be misshaped or it can it can have like sort of a dip in the retina basically it's causing topographically the retina to not be smooth anymore and and things don't focus properly yeah and that progresses over time especially if it's protein buildup that can progress over time

and it can eventually cause a tear in the retina and blood vessels to enter the eye and then that progresses rapidly and then you just become blind you're just blind yeah yeah and so if you That's why they always check for it in an eye exam, and that's when, if you go to the eye doctor and they take pictures of your retina, that's what, that's one. They're looking for a lot of things, but that's one of the main things that they're looking for is if they can see these, these proteins building up, creating spots on your, on your retina. I had a torn retina when I was 14 because Jimmy Jensen and I wrestled on the tramp, trampoline. Not like someone you would call a tramp. And we were wrestling there. And I went home. And that night, I noticed when I turned term, I had big clouds of black would swirl into my vision. Oh, geez. And I know, what the hell is that about? And I'm a kid, so you're not really that stressed.

You're just sort of a kid and you're dumb. But my mom's like, oh, crap, we got to take you in. So they take me in. And sure enough, he had, it had detached my retina. It was fixable. They fixed it, did some kind of, I don't even know what, how they did it. But to this day, they still have to check those, that scarring and make sure nothing's being weird back there so far. so good. But it's Jimmy Jensen's fault. Thanks a lot, Jimmy. Jimmy Jensen. This guy, dude,

you wouldn't even know. I mean, he's listened to the show before. He may still listen now. I don't know. But as kids, Jimmy and I had a lot of good and bad going on between us. These days, he's great. Nothing wrong with Jimmy. Good man. Well done. Family guys, great. But, you know, when you're a kid, you're a kid. Take care of your eyes. Kids can't be, adults can't be accountable for who they were when they were kids. No, I don't think so. Not really anyway. But yeah, I remember, though, at the time, thinking, well, that's pretty crazy. And it's the same eye that has a mole on it, that they always have to check this eye to make sure that mold doesn't grow. So it's not like a cancer thing.

You've got a lot going on. I know. I know. It says I think my face. Anything at all. I think my left face was like mushed up against my mom's pelvis or something. I don't know what it was, but everything on the left side's always been stupid. And I thought I had a lot going on, but you're a contender.

Well, I mean, you know, the fact. that what's crazy is that right now the left eye is actually a little better than my right eye after these surgeries, which is an insane thing to say. Also, here's another crazy thing. When I got the stuff done, like you said, you don't really notice. I was noticing how bad the blurriness was getting, right? But you don't really notice like color changes and that sort of stuff because it's progressive. So when he did the one eye and you got to wait like two weeks to do the next eye, waint for it. Waint? My vision in my right eye, which I did first, Colors and light and stuff was so vivid and bright, like a brand new eye.

You know, the reason why that is is because the cloudiness, the protein buildup is discolored. It's not just like a flat, it's not like a white gray scale discoloration that would not affect the color. It's actually one of the symptoms is muddy colors because it adds yellowish or brownish tints to the colors that you see. Yeah, so then I would see with this eye, I'd see a wall that I've always had, a bright white wall and it would be so bright white, clean white. and then I would open my left eye and look at it and it would look like I was looking through somebody's streaky toilet paper or something. It's like, this is terrible.

And I remember saying to myself, I never want to forget how vivid and beautiful this is in this eye. Yeah, yeah. And then he did the other eye and it was like, now I see, do both eyes this way. And then very quickly it's like, well, now my brain is just adapted to whatever I'm seeing. Right.

It could be yellow again for all I know. I don't freaking know. And from about eight, he told me from about 18 on, you've got yellow e eye vision, you just don't know it because you just don't, you don't see it. Like nicotine stained eyes. Yeah.

Or it's like watching a movie that you're just used to watching like the abyss from James Cameron. And you forget how much blue light there is. Because you're just watching the movie and it's fine. But if you compare it to what those scenes would look like without the blue filter, you'd be like, oh, that's a very different looking scene. Right, right. So, yeah. So the last one, I want to, it's very quickly because someone in the chat said,

what's what about what's glaucoma um glaucoma you hear a lot of times but uh and and a lot of people think that it's um it's a condition of eye pressure um people who who are familiar with it they think oh it's it's pressure increased pressure in your eye um and you wouldn't be faulted for thinking that because that's how what they're that's usually what they're testing for at the eye doctor with the puff of air they do something different at my eye doctor now where where they just use a device that apparently actually taps you in the eyeball, but I don't ever feel it. Oh, gosh, really?

Yeah. Well, they give you a numbing solution right before, a slightly numbing. They don't give me anything. Really? They don't give me anything. And you don't feel it. I don't. No, I don't.

I usually get drops that numb. It's a light numbing. It's not like hardcore, but it's enough numbing for me to. I feel the pressure of the poke, but you're right. They do, they actually touch your thing now and measure. Yeah. Apparently, it's a better. That won't get taken out of context.

No. Yeah. That's a different doctor. Scott, you know. But they, yeah, apparently it's a better, more direct measurement of the pressure in your eye. But what glaucoma really is, is a, it's a family of eye diseases that have to do with the optic nerve. It's a condition of the optic nerve where the optic nerve can't properly send signals to your brain.

And it's most commonly caused by increased eye pressure, which then leads two optic nerve problems and that's why they look for that first but it can be brought on by all sorts of things like injury or blood pressure damage like ocular blood pressure that's happening behind your eye can cause pressure to be put

onto the optic nerve that's not related to the pressure of the fluid inside your eye stuff like that. Yeah that's why your doctors always want you to your blood pressure is important for lots of reasons for lots of parts of the body but your eyes are among them like they don't want you to yeah if you ever have blood pressure problems don't skip that part or if or a family history of blood pressure always put that on your on your thing for the eye doctor but everywhere really but but uh the eye it doesn't seem like it would be related but it's blood pressure can cause problems with your eyes for sure yeah um but yeah i have um i keep saying that i've got like all sorts of problems with my eye the other i'm blind in my right eye and the reason i was i have a congenital problem called morning glory sin and

syndrome. And it's the, uh, the, the optic nerve in utero did not properly fuse to the back of my eye. Thanks, mom. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah, thanks, mom. Thanks a lot. I shouldn't say that because she has told me so many times that she feels bad about it because she, she smoked while I was, uh, while she was pregnant with me. And so she blames herself. Um, because she thinks that that's what causes it. But, but I tell her like all the sciences, nobody knows what really causes it. They just know that it's congenital um it happens in that way but um yeah i can't see out of that eye so but it's great because every time i go to the eye doctor and it's a new person they're always really excited because it's so rare oh they get to see it because they only hear about it in like med school or

i school or whatever yeah yeah yeah i had one person go and get another like doctor and here we got one yeah um but uh this last time i went just a couple weeks ago she she told me like i didn't know or something. She was like, you have morning glory syndrome. I was like, I know. Yeah. But, um, so, how do you know the doctor? How do you know they didn't lie to you and you popped out and Dr. Slippy fingers accidentally put a thumb in your eye or something?

You know what I mean? They were going to tell you. They were going to tell you that. Yeah. He's really, really careful that, because his name is Dr. Slippie Fing so he's trying to make sure. It's like, it's inherent with the name. Yeah. Yeah. So he's extra careful. I get blamed for. everything. Anything where there's a poke in the eye, Dr.

Slippy Fingers gets the, well, it gets the finger pointed at him, really? Last little fun fact that I'll leave you with because I think you'll like this one is, so the muscles that change the shape of your lens, they're attached to the lens

by these fibers and those fibers are called, are you ready for this? Yeah, do it. Those fibers are called zonnules of Zin. Oh, that's Stan Lee That's where Dr. Strange went to fight Dormammu or something. Wow. Zonials of Zen.

All right. Zanules of Zen. I would think if that almost sounds like a lie, but that is the name, eh? That's real. Yeah. It's according to Wikipedia. Wild. All right.

That's still, right now is the most trusted source on the internet. So I actually take a lot of credence to that. Remember we used to make fun? Like, oh, you can't believe anything you see on Wikipedia. And now it's the total opposite. It's the only place I go. I think they still teach kids that because my kids, both of my kids, especially my older daughter, she hates Wikipedia. They're wrong.

And if I bring it up, and I say, well, I looked it up on Wikipedia, they're like, she's like, uh, dad, that's probably a lie. Yeah, see, they're, the teachers are still doing it because the teachers don't, they haven't been informed, but things have, things have turned. The internet is different now. And the only place I trust is Wikipedia. I know. It's got, I mean, you still need to know how Wikipedia, it's, I mean, you still need to know how Wikipedia works and understand when adjustments are made or when it change it. But all that stuff's really well done now and you're not going to find a better place

for the truth, honestly. I think they're trying to teach them about like primary and secondary and tertiary sources, you know? Yeah, yeah. But they end up making people postmodernist, you can't trust anything and everything. And nothing, there are no facts. Yeah, yeah. Well, as long as the teachers aren't going, you can only rely on TikTok to give you a proper

info. As long as they're not doing that, you're safe. You're good. Yeah. Yeah. Well, awesome. This has been a great deep dive into the eyes, the eyeballs, you know? Yeah. Like inner space. Yeah, we're swimming around in there. Into the eye. Exactly. We're all, we've all got to be Martin Short, deep down inside while one of the, who was on the outside? Uh, I get to think his name. Anyway, that guy, Who was the actor that was on the outside talking him through it all, the pilot? I don't remember. Do you remember this movie?

Shit. I remember the movie, but I don't remember. You're talking about interspace. Yeah, inner space. Yeah, Dennis Quaid was on the outside. That's it. It was on the inside, Dennis Quaid was. He was the shrunken down dude.

Who was Martin Short then? What did he do? He was the guy that Dennis Quaid was in. Oh, right. Oh, Capad got it all backwards. Yeah, he's Serenot de Bergeracking from the inside of Martin Short. I thought Martin Short was inside Meg Ryan.

All right, I'm done talking. I can't say that out loud. What have I done there? Dennis Quaid was actually, anyway, whatever. Jack is where Jack Quaid came from. Anyway, hey, this has been great, Bobby. It's always fun times. Tell people about your podcast where they can find it

and what you're talking about this week. All Around Science is the name of the podcast. I don't ever know what we're talking about on the week that we're recording, but this last week, the episode that we just put out today, which is probably why you're saying this week now that I'm thinking about it. Yeah, that's exactly it.

Podcast time is weird. You guys know this. It's a time traveling profession. But anyway, the podcast episode that just came out today, we went through and did a, I cleaned out the mailbag to sort of start the year off right and answered a bunch of questions having to do with how swallowing works

we had someone asking about like how competition eaters are able to eat things so quickly and how did people who drink a gallon of lemonade in 21 seconds not drown so we learned about how swallowing works we learned about how the voice box works why does your voice get deep whenever you're

sick stuff like that so answered a bunch of questions on this week's episode but all really interesting things nice all around science all around science you guys go find it wherever you get your podcast it exists in all of the directories okay so there's no excuse bobby have a fantastic week we'll see you next time too bye now all righty all right that was a long discussion about eyes but it was fun that was really fun yeah eyes are they're a fascinating little globule of uh of liquid yeah fascinating's got some weird shit going on in there yeah hey Big thanks to Seth B.

You wanted to give him a shout out. He sent me a USS, Utah, like the ship, like the battleship. Or it might be a submarine. I forgot already. I was going to wear it today, and I'm an idiot. But anyway, he sent me a sweatshirt, and that was rad. And then it reminded me to also thank Chaco Mama because she sent chocolate to everybody this year. And as always, she made me non-sugar ones.

And I can't eat too many of the non-sugar ones too much at a time, because they got sugar alcohol, and they'll give you the fur. get to poops. Yeah, but she always does amazing work. Like, this is stuff, the chocolates that she creates, she could easily sell in any store because they are beautiful, they are delicious, and she creates the best, it always changes, the best diagram for showing you what is in each chocolate that, you know, beats Whitman's sampler any day of the week.

Oh, yeah, like sees candy, doesn't have anything as good as hers. The way she does it, too, if they get all shook up in shipping or something, you still can tell hers because hers are like color design coded patterned and shaped and everything's very different yeah it's great it's really really good and they do get they're shuffled around in shipment like like you wouldn't believe perfect perfect decalation in there I feel like our USPS guy just went to the door and like the yeah he shook it so much they almost all went back in their original place that's how hard he shook it anyway hey quick reminder this CD we were talking about we had a couple

of you jump on it during the break and Or during the show, if you haven't yet, go check it out. It's the Ibit Sessions, Volume 1, 9 bucks, 99 cents. And it is all the 2024 film sac intros that Brian covered and did in their, in their remaster, their original form, not some, you know, crappy transfer from the live show. Exactly. These are the original. You don't get done away chuckling over the lyrics in this version.

No. No, no, no. It's a good deal. I was going to try and really quickly pull up, like, the songs, but I made a spreadsheet, showing all the songs I've done, but that's not it right there. Oh, I'm never going to find it. Never mind. Never going to find it. Never going to find it. That song's not on there. But that's not, you're not going to find that. Yeah. But 44 songs are on there. Forty-four? Forty-four.

45. I keep seeing 44-4. I don't know why I do that. Because it's because the last song is 88 lines about 44 movies and a parody of the Nails song, but there's one movie I did two songs for. a crazy person. Like a crazy person. Anyway, if you want to go get it, frogpants. shop, get it today. Our website is frogpants.com slash TMS. That will do it for us.

Brian, let's play a song, speaking of which on the way out. Okay, fine, fine. Just looking to see if I have it over here as well. Nope, I don't have it in this folder either. Hey, here's your song for today. It's a request coming from Barbara. Barbara said, Hi, Birch and Spruce. January 6th is the beginning of my 56th trip around the

son. I'm not sure we're trying to do you. You get a cute one. Oh, love it. I would love to hear any song that Birch, I, K. Brian, chooses. Mostly love hearing you say my name like we're actually friends. Oh, Barbara, we'll happily say your name. I'll be enjoying my last day of Christmas vacation while listening to TMS, hopefully live for once,

even though you all sound drunk when I'm not listening at 1.5 times. Fair enough. Yeah. All right, Barbara. Let's give this one to you. um this is uh so she said any cover that is acapella and bluegrass combined would be amazing that's a tall order like acapella sands instruments and bluegrass which is basically focusing on things like the banjo and the uh the acoustic guitar and things like that but i think i found something that's going to fit um in 2012 the virginia gentleman uh virginia uh college or college in virginia i don't know which college it is. University of Virginia, let's say, just for, just for you. Yeah, just to say it. It's fine.

Exactly. In 2012, they released their album, Guys in Ties, and they included Mumford and Sons Little Lion Man, which I would say is a bluegrass, is modern alternative bluegrass song. Here it is right here. The Virginia gentleman and little lion man. And one more thing for Barbara. Here you go. They're coming to get you, Barbara. There you go. Oh, very good. All right. That'll do it. Thanks for being here. be back tomorrow with a brand new show. Come back and join us Tuesday. We'll see you then. Weep for yourself, my man, you'll never be what is in your heart. Weep a little lion man, you're not as brave as you were at the start. So rake yourself and rake yourself, take all the courage you have left.

Wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head. But it was not your fault but mine, and it was your heart on the line. I really mocked it up this time. Deny my dear? Didn't I my... Tremble. Tremble for yourself, my man, I know that you have seen this all before. Tremble little iron man, you'll never settle any of your score.

Your grace is wasted in your face. your face, your boldness stands alone among the wreck. So learn from your mother, or else spend your days biting your own neck. But it was not your fault with mine, and it was your heart on the line. I really mocked it up this time, deny my dear. And it was not your fault with mine. And it was your heart on the line I really muffed it up this time

Didn't I, my dear? Deny my dear? Do da, da, da, do. Do do. Do? Da, da, do. Dund do, do, do. Do you, joe, do, do, oh.

Oh, I do. Do, Joe, do, do. Do I do. Oh, I do. Oh, you know, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. But it was not your fault but it was your heart on the line. And it was your heart on the line. I really mucked it up this time, deny my dear. But it was not your fault but mine. And it was your heart on the line. I really mocked it up this time.

Deny my dear. Didn't I my dear? Oh, looks like someone just got their ears caught in the audio cookie jar at frogpants.com. The entire world is covered in a thin layer of fecal matter.