The Morning Stream - TMS 2783: Skull Tunnels

Episode Date: February 20, 2025

The Small Ones Are Hard. I'm Nicholas Longform. Coming off the bone weird. Licensed Cork Dork. Extending Your Straw with Age. Earthy Toad of a Mushroom. Never Too Soon for a Dandruff Sandwich. A Little Vinyl and A Free Hotel Room. Tastes Like Dark Purple. You Had Your Ovary Thing. Edward Steroidhands. Cherries Are Red, Cherries Are Supposed To Be Red. Carter, but without the stem. The Marble Problem. Hiigh Anxietyy with Wendi and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you stack two Danny DeVito's, you'd get one Christopher Lloyd. Simple math, give it a try if you don't believe us. And after that, swagger over to the counter and put a couple bucks down at patreon.com slash TMS today. Coming up on the morning stream, the small ones are hard. I'm Nicholas Longform. Coming off the bone weird. Licensed cork dork. Extending your straw with age.

Earthy toad of a mushroom. Never too soon for a dandruff sandwich. A little vinyl in a free hotel room. Taste like dark purple You had your ovary thing Edward steroid hands Cherries are red Cherries are supposed to be red

Carter but without the stem The marble problem High anxiety With Wendy and more On this episode of The Morning Stream You know we must have ESP going on between us

Because I was just going to call you I scored so many points I can't remember the total The morning stream Fuck off, Hairball Hello everybody and welcome to TMS. It's the morning stream for February 20th, 2025. I'm Scott Johnson.

That's Brian Ibbett. Hello's gut Hello No foreign No foreign language today I didn't have one written down Did I tell you by the way At the Super Bowl

I can't really call it a party Because Oh your little get together though We went to Chris Brown's house And It was me and Tina And Chris Brown's son was there for a little while Crazy neighbor was there for a little while

And Chris Brown slept through the whole fourth quarter Watching his Eagles Win the Super Bowl Oh, my gosh. That's right. He's a fan. So he should have been, I guess they were, it was such a runaway killing that would he be watching at that point. I get it. Plus, you know, toasting every, every touchdown early on left little room for recovering, let's say. See from Philly originally, used to live there or something? Used to live in New Jersey right outside of Philly. Okay.

Like on the, right near the border. Red Hill, I believe. Red Hill. But real fandom, it sounds like. That guy really... Real fandom. Like, and he's not... But he's not one of those real fans that's an asshole. Like, you know, there's some... Sorry, Philly. But your fan base

is getting a reputation for being a real bunch of... Yeah. Real bunch of jerks. Soar winners is what you are. You're being a bunch of sore winners. Exactly. Listen, I mean, every team's fans will climb light poles and flip cars and stuff like that.

They're just... Cherry Hill. Thank you. Reddress, Cherry Hill, New Jersey. Cherries are red. That's why I thought Red Hill. Yeah. A good cherry is red. If you're eating a green one, you've got the wrong cherries. You've got the wrong cherries.

But, yeah, no, it's not necessarily the way you act after the game. It's the way you act at games and throwing cans of beer at people, fighting with people because they're wearing the other Jersey, not just, you know, razzing them and saying, oh, Raiders suck. Good luck you guys. You know, that sort of thing. Like, we do that at the Broncos game, right? Like, there's, when we had our season tickets,

there was a couple in front to the side of us that would always wear their raiders jerseys. Even when the Raiders weren't playing. Sure. And, you know, we'd be like, ah, how your Raiders doing this time? Not so good. Ah, it's just basically like.

Friendly ribbing, like breaking your balls. No big deal. Sure. Yeah. Tina and I wouldn't do it because we had zero idea how the Raiders were doing. and we couldn't really razz them about that. But the people around us were doing it was all fun. And they'd, you know, even when we were playing the Raiders,

no matter who was winning, it was like always, you know, a little friendly stuff going. I love the idea that would be like, if you don't know how they're doing, it's like, ah, you guys having some kind of record this year. We don't know. People are like, hey, how are your Raiders doing this year? No, we really don't know. We don't know. Could you actually inform us how your team is doing?

What's their actual record? That's funny. But, no, I mean, like actual. actual fist fights between Eagles fans and other teams coming there. There's a, we talked about this, there's a, there's actually a, Eagles Stadium jail. Is there really? Yeah, that you actually have a jail that, uh, you could get put into, uh,

at the Eagles Stadium if you're, if you're really bad. Is it actually run by security and like it's actually like a, yeah, oh my gosh, that's crazy. Yeah. That's how you know you're two, you guys need to calm down. You're too rowdy. Yeah. No jail at, uh, uh bronco at mile high stadium that's right no john elway the john elway commemorative jail

right exactly did you see in elway lately look at this guy he's looking pretty uh pretty uh you know stately now have you seen him lately yeah yeah we're i don't know you guys have an on and off with old elway you're not feeling uh we didn't we didn't we didn't fully care for him when he was a bronco i mean his winning his record was great and his his uh his playing was fantastic but he's a He's a little bit problematic. Is he a bit of a bum, a poo-poo head? A little bit of a poop-of-head. No, I don't like poop-poo heads.

I like the good old-fashioned good guys, you know? There he is. Look at him. He looks like a guy's going to go. Your car's parked too close to my yard. He looks like what Anthony Michael Hall looked like 20 years ago. You don't want to see him now. It's really...

You don't want to see Anthony Michael Hall now. No. That's funny. Edward's steroids hands. Steroid hand. but uh but uh anyway uh i'd watch that you know that's it's kind of funny like with all these reboots goonies now getting a sequel um other other top gun of course and other things that have gotten sequels recently from um from the 80s

how come we're not hearing about has john hughes just lock things up so well that nobody feels safe trying to do a 16 Candles sequel where now Molly Ringwald to the mom to a 16 year older. This is a really good point. I've always wondered the same thing. Did he, what, is it like

when he left, it's all just locked down when he left, when he died? It was all locked down so that nobody could do it, or is it that everyone's just afraid to touch the material? And I think it's probably the latter, because I can't think of anything else from that era that is as beloved and feels as untouchable.

Yeah. Yeah. I can't imagine like a, you know, we've had breakfast club pseudo reunions. I saw one that just had Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald, and Ali Sheedy, I think. Yeah. No Estevez and no

Anthony Michael Hall. Oh no, Anthony Michael Hall was there. Oh, was it? Just Estevez wasn't there? Weird. Just Estevez. Um, maybe Ali Sheedy wasn't? I just saw her in that Brats thing. But it also doesn't seem like everybody wants to participate. Like that that Brats thing that, um,

Andrew McCarthy did. You'd think that, like, all of the breakfast clubbers would want to participate and at least be part of it. But you really just got Estevez and Sheedy. Yeah, it's probably complicated. Oh, you did get Judd Nelson at the end. Oh, was Judd Nelson in it? I didn't say it. Yeah.

My guess is that it's complicated. It's like, you know, we all think of that stuff in a certain way. We have a kind of a collective cultural response to it. but they all grew up in it and are probably like leave us alone be tied to that forever and be you know people go on

hey enjoy your captain crunch with dandruffah yeah yeah they haven't they haven't hit that Shattner level you got where they accept who they are you know what I mean like at some point Shattler

Chattner fought Star Trek fought it fought it fought it fought it and then he finally went you know what this is amazing why am I doing this and now he's all in and he loves it and you know he never wanted any different maybe that's what they need.

Maybe one day, Emilio Estevez hits a point in his life. I guess he was in that documentary, but they all hit a point in their life. We're like, oh, yeah, it was culturally significant. Multiple generations saw this and, you know, kind of called it their own. You know, I saw it when I was 15. The target audience for that movie,

when we were kids, we saw that and we were like, whoa, they're speaking directly to our generation. But my kids saw it and felt the same way when they were 15. Like it has this like, permanence to it. So I think people are afraid to touch that stuff, man. Perennial. Yeah. How would you do? All right, let's say, let's say

Breakfast Club sequel has been greenlit and Scott and Brian have been hired to give a 10 second elevator pitch as to the story. Oh gosh. Is it because of varying circumstances,

mistaken identity, a DUI, whatever those same five people end up in jail and lock up together that's not bad so they're old so we actually hire the cast the same cast right same case right exactly everyone has a price so we'd find a way to get them all involved and uh you know what kind of like this right is there because of some fishing scan or like some uh identity theft thing that you know they they picked up the wrong brian and they put me oh dude you're looking buff if you've been working out see this would be the only, I actually kind of like how what you could tell, the story you could tell once they're in

there, but the coincidence is very difficult to just wave past. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like how they all ended up there, he'd be like, it's a little too convenient, 40 years on. How do they all? Yeah. Whatever. But I don't know. I'd long for more in the, in, in his film world, I want more. But I also understand why people think it's sacred ground and don't want to mess with it. I get it. I get it. I'd be afraid, too, if I was a writer or director, I'd be afraid. Oh, for sure. That would be, that'd be, there's, there is so little, like, slim chance of victory that it would be just such a, it's, it's that wheel in murder mystery party where it's like, no, it's the other one.

It's the game of awesome, the trivia game of awesomeness or whatever it is, where there's that little thin wind space and then everything else's skulls. Yeah, it feels very hard nail, but, you know. Yeah, Amy, Amy in the chat said, Better question, reboot Breakfast Club, but cast it with Frogpents All-Stars. Oh, my lord. Well, I'm sure they'd go for that. One of them would be really easy.

You could just, you know, for the character of Claire, you just wouldn't have to change the name, just change the spelling. That's right. And let's see, who else could we get in there? Okay, let's cast it with people we know here. KT.8 would be Brian. That's pretty good.

That's actually really good. KT Data is Brian. Who's the jock? Who do we do for the jock? Oh, is it Jeff Seier? Jeff Seire would be pretty good. You know, Shane from yesterday, Shane Maddox would be pretty good. Oh, Shane.

Boy, talk about being both the stoner and the jock, though. Yeah, he could do either one. He really could. He's both Bender and... He's like one of those actors that showed, like Judd Nelson showed up for the jock role, but they gave him the stoner roll. It's like that. Let's see.

Who else? Who's the principal? Maybe Bobby's your brain. Oh, who's the principal? Yeah, who could be our principal? Well, I think you're clearly the principal and I'm the janitor. Oh, it's not bad. Janitor's more of a hero, though.

The principal's a dick. Or am I thinking of die-heart? It's the same actor, right? No, same actor, yeah. Yeah, I don't want, you know what? All right, I'll be principal. What is it, Werner or Werner, whatever it is? Vernon.

Vernon. Vernon. Werner. Werner-Herthor. The principal. I loves this movie. Show me the baby. You're just earned yourself another day of detention, John Bender.

I mean, that's one more. I'd take him into anything. I would take him into anything, that guy. I'd love to him. And then we can have a few of you be parents, like, you know, Claire's mom pulling up, dropping her off, could be Amy or somebody. Yeah, or Cleo. We got this all worked out.

This is good. That's not bad. It was something who just. suggested, Amy just suggested Fletcher is the stoner. I like that actually. Oh, that's pretty good. He'd actually get stoned for the role. Yeah, he would. It's a method. He's so method that guy. Oh, man, he gets all up in it. He's, he's the Robert De Niro of our little crew here. Amy says that she's, uh, been in therapy 14 years. She's definitely the basket case. Oh, all right. Fair enough. You can be our basket case. Who's going to eat their own, uh, dandra for whatever

she did? Well, that would be, that would be Amy. Yeah, she's going to have to, she, she didn't eat her own dandruff she drew a very beautiful pen drawing and then made it snow i know i always conflate the sandwich with the hair like she'd had her captain crunch and then she brushed her dandruff on yeah i mean she basically here's the thing that cap and crunch thing definitely had dandruff in it she didn't go into it but i guarantee yeah there are traces of dandruff in that food i promise you oh she was gross until she wasn't but also i have mixed feelings about her whole character arc because it's like what is the ideal like to me part of the ideal is she's weird and doesn't need to be there and is so strange that's who i like having her get all prettied up

and oh right just to please the jock it's just like eh like there's some things in there but you know what those complications are true in high school how did he change for her oh he didn't okay oh he didn't do anything great he just wore that uh for and sleeveless stupid wrestler shirt and how's it that's all he did great yeah and shattered a window with his uh screaming okay all right oh that moment i know it is a little bit of a like oh man this is like it's a really serious thing going on here and some really you know intense and true to life kid topics and wait did he just shatter a window by screaming every once it's way i like to look at it every once in a while in

john hugh's movies Chevy chase's uh sled comes out the sled yeah That's a moment like that where it's just like, oh, I don't know. I mean, when I saw it on it was 15, I was fine. It was like, okay, cool. He yelled and broke a thing. It's the grease car flying away at the end, basically, is what it is. Well, the jocks are in charge now, everybody. It's up to us, nerd.

Actually, there's a couple of nerds in charge, too, so. Yeah, a nerd who thinks he's a jock. You know what it is? It might just be a man problem. I'm glad you to have the camera on me for that. Oh, I missed it. What'd you do? Show us again.

I said, and then a nerd who thinks, he's a jock. Oh, very good. You did like an X shape when you did that. So creative. So creative. All right. I got we got a call. We've been using that new call thing,

you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, let's hear it. Yeah, y'all have been using it, which is great. And we got this one. It's a question and I'm happy to answer it. So here you go. Hi, guys. Just wondering, why am I getting two episodes on my YouTube feed from the morning stream. Thanks guys. Love the show.

All right. Here's why. And it's only temporary, but every day there is a live show that is public to everybody that one that we're on right now. This is live and public. Anybody anywhere will see it pop in their feet. If you follow the channel or just it's algorithmically sent to you, you will see it. Then what happens when we're done, a new video goes up that is edited to be just the show from opening to close. And that one replaces this one. one but that one but this one the live one stays it just turns unlisted so the unlisted video now goes to patrons who get access to the uncut version of the video and so for sometimes for brief moments some people have two videos in their feed but it shouldn't last very long now if it's something we do like

play date you'll have two two videos because or you'll have the one the live video just is the video we don't put up a second one so there are exemptions to this where we don't hide The live one. But that's why you're seeing it, is you'll occasionally see two videos. And just ignore it. It's just one's live and one's final. Once to tape. Yeah.

Private. By the way, just a quick reminder, if you want to get your calls onto the show, they had to change the URL again. So now you've got to go to voicechannel.com. And you actually spell out.com. So it's voice channel, DOT, C-O-M, and then org. Don't listen to Brian. He is making that up. He's 100% making that up.

I will say this, though, after yesterday, he changed, he just did the fix to make it so the domain doesn't have to be lowercase or all caps. Oh, that's good. It'll work in any case. Yes. Okay. So if you go to, uh, I know, maybe forget the actual new one. What is it? It's voice, voice, uh, shit. Voice.

It's not voice line, what happened? Oh, voice cast. Voice cast. Thank you. Voice cast. Voice line still works, but, uh, only temporarily while we do. the transition. Anyway, it's voicecast. Dot app slash TMS. All right. Do you guys want to send your thing? Like this call about naming your kids. Hey, Scott and Brian. This is Nick from Western Mass.

Two questions for you. First, Brian. I know that your dad lives in Vermont and I was just wondering if during any trips to visit him, you made it down to the Berkshires in Western Massachusetts. We're a great little section of the state. And if you haven't been, highly recommend it. I also know that we have a great newspaper, the Berkshire Eagle, and thought perhaps in your newspaper days you had visited. Now, Scott, my question for you has to do with the namesake of your only son, also happened to be named Nick. My name is Nick as well.

We've established this. So, just wondering how you guys landed on his name and if it had anything to do with how my parents landed on mine, which happens to be based on the scene in a shore thing where John Cusack is sitting in the back of the car and tells his girlfriend that they're only going to name their son a name like Nick. Nick's your friend, Nick's your pal. He lets you throw up

in the back seat and not clean it up. Anyways, that's all I had to ask. Thanks for the great show. Okay, bye. All right, I have an answer to the second one. Brian, tell me about your time up in... I've never been to the Berkshire's, and the Berkshire Eagle was a customer of ours, but

I did not do that install, and I think because they were small enough. Maybe the trainer must have done that one, but I absolutely remember the Berkshire Eagle. And I know Chris Brown, if you're listening, you probably can tell me all about the Berkshires. And he probably was the one who did the training and the

install there. It sounds like you've guys kind of had every paper. He had like a monopoly and all this stuff. We did. It was, I mean, over the course of the 20 years, 20 plus years that I worked there, wow.

That's a lot. That is a lot. Is that Right? I worked for a company that long. Yeah. That's a weird feeling to think about it. Started in 92. Yeah.

And then it was one of the nerdtaculars that I got the text from when I was basically the last employee with the CEO that I got a text from them saying they were shutting the company down. Oh. I say they because she has transitioned into a woman. Oh. nice yeah so uh uh that's interesting yeah what a what a long what a what a was what an eventful 20 years you you all had never any indication when i worked with her uh that that that that's what she wanted but uh she seems extremely happy now and and that's super cool that's all you can ask for yeah yeah uh well that's great yeah and it just obviously seems like there's every paper you guys went everywhere

you had everywhere we did we really did have every it seemed like we had every major paper in the in the U.S. A lot of that was thanks to deals with New York Times newspaper group, the Knight Ritter scripts, because we'd get, we'd basically get in with the company, and then we'd get all 60 of their newspapers as clients, as customers. And so that made it really easy and gave us tons of little small ones to go along with the big ones. Do you ever do SLC, The Tribune?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I did that one. I did that install myself. I did the, I did both on the same trip. because they were a J-O-A, the Deserate News and the Salt Lake City Tribune. Yeah, same building, same printing, all that stuff. Yeah, that was, I came before, no, after the Olympics. No, before.

Oh, God, it was right around either right before or right after the Olympics. O2, so it would have been, let's see. Yeah, O2 was the Olympics, right? O2, so that'd probably be about right. And I thought it was so weird that when I went into a bar, or I went to a restaurant and I wanted a drink, I had to join the club, which meant I had to just basically sign my name on a piece of paper saying I was now a member of their club. Yep, that's all gone now, but at the time, that was a thing. And you had every ad on the radio.

So if you did a radio ad or TV ad for your local bar, it would be like you would normally expect from a bar. Come on Saturdays, see live bands. And at the end it would say, something bar, a member, a club members only. They had to put this thing in legally so that you would do it. And really, all it was was just walk in there and go, I'll be a party or club. It's so dumb. What is the bare minimum that we can do to get to be cool with the law but not impact our customer? It's so stupid.

It was like the dumbest legislation. Everyone here knew it. Even teetotaling, like anti-drinking people knew it, how stupid it was. It's just stupid. Oh my gosh. But then I kind of miss it when I hear it on the radio. now because no one does it anymore yeah because it was fun a little fun yeah it's like we are a club i'm like no you're not you're not a freaking private club you're just a place up the road i'm a member now

of outback steakhouse and i can have a wallaby yeah a wallaby darned yeah that's the funny thing is it would it would apply to any kind of restaurant that served alcohol exactly even a chain had to have members yeah welcome to the private club what's it called uh freaking uh texas road house tg i friday fridays or whatever bullshit it was so dumb anyway I'm glad it's gone yeah tell us about the uh it's because you cut yourself shaving like in top secret that was it I kept myself I said oh Nick and then we named named him that no here's how it went so during his uh we we had trouble coming up with names ahead of the births we just didn't settle on anything it was always like well if it is indeed a girl because with Carter we didn't know because they they the inconclusive scan she was

all turned around funny and they couldn't get a good look at her junk or anything or however that works. And so we didn't know on her until she was born. And in the case of Nick, it was kind of the same thing. We liked the name Harry or Harrison. So when he was born for a hot second, we were like, this is going to be little Harrison. And then we went, wait a minute, we've just named our son Harry Johnson. We can't do that. So we didn't get as far as writing it down on the thing and having to pay it or change it like we did have a tailor. But we, we, we, we, we, We definitely had this moment of, oh, my gosh, you were almost Harry Johnson. So he changed the name.

And Kim just really liked the name, Nicholas. I don't have a good story. She just liked how it sounded. Nicholas Longform was kind of the, it sounds like a full name. I'm Nicholas Longform. Oh, he's a Nicholas Longform. But the Nick, Nick being shortened to Nick happened very quickly, even as a little dude. And I feel like he's never really, no one ever goes, someone get Nicholas on the phone.

But, yeah, it doesn't, it's not nearly as cool. Like in Carter's case, she actually has a cool origin story. We were watching an episode of prior to her birth, again, not knowing her gender. We're watching this episode of the Outer Limits or something like that. And in there, there's a female lawyer named Carter. And we thought that was the coolest first name for a girl at the time. Didn't know any of them. And so we thought, well, that's unique and interesting.

It sounds good. And we said, and even if she comes out with the stem on the apple, we can still call her. Uh, Carter, because that's a boy's name. Yeah. So that was, so that's her origin and that has a fun little TV, you know, movie vibe. But in next case, it's kind of boring. It was just like, yeah, Nicholas, that's all. Tell us, tell us you did decide to make Longform his middle name, though.

So it's Nicholas Longform Johnson. Look, I'm Nicholas Longform Johnson. But long, let me put the long in there and then you still got Johnson. There's always trouble. Yeah, you still got problems. Or advantages, maybe. I don't know. We may as well have been last name penis here at this house.

I don't know what our deal is. Harrison Ford recently, by the way, speaking of the name Harrison, he was on Kimmel recently promoting Captain America. And it's always, like the two of them have such a great friendship. And you'd almost, you have to look for little signs of it because it almost looks like Harrison is just irritated to hell with Jimmy Kimmel. But you see these little flashes like, yeah, these guys are really good friends. But they were talking about, you know, when he started acting even before Apocalypse Now, like doing early, early bit stuff, that for his sag card, there was already a Harrison Ford.

So he couldn't be Harrison Ford on the side card. He had to be Harrison J. Ford or something like that. Had to use his middle initial. And then when that Harrison Ford finally passed away. yeah some old western dude uh was i was gonna say do we know who that is i guess is some old school something some old school dude and so uh so as soon as that guy passed away then uh then the harrison ford we know and love got to remove the middle initial and be the harrison forward which makes me wonder if um like uh who's who's an actor who uses their middle initial

um well it's like the actors oh yeah that might that might be a He's already a Samuel Jackson, so he couldn't be... It sounds like one. It does, yeah. It would be, like, we were talking about Paul Anderson and Paul W.S. Anderson yesterday is probably a similar situation. Oh, yeah. They're directors, but, yeah, probably had to do it. One of them had to do it.

Michael B. Jordan, maybe. Oh, right. Well, yeah. But that feels more like he's differentiating himself from the basketball star. The basketball player, sure. Yeah, could be wrong. B.D. Wong. F. Murray Abraham?

F. Murray Abraham. Yeah. What if there's a murder? Abraham and he was like you know get out of here right right it's like fine I'll put an f there um I was gonna say something about something what was it oh we did do this thing when the kids were little so if I needed Nick and Carter to stop fighting or arguing or hey it's time to get in the car and leave or whatever it was and I needed to round those two up I would go international superstar or no international music superstar Nick Carter get in the car

nice that was a really dumb dad I had joke, but I used to do it all the time. Drove them nuts. I would, I would, too. Yeah, I would absolutely do that too. C-C-H-Pounder is another good one. Yeah, possibly. Yeah, maybe.

Charlie X-C-X. No, Charlie X-C-X. No, what Charlie X-C-X was her Xbox avatar name. It was just Charlie Kiss. No way, really? Yeah, Charlie Kiss C-Kiss. Oh, I love that.

So she just used that for, yeah. I love that. You go to the big time in music, and you just carry forward your freaking... You're just your Xbox. Your gamer tag from Xbox? Amazing. The guy in the box is the original, the photo I just sent you, the guy in the box is the original Harrison Ford.

Let me see here. I want to show everybody. 1920s, a silent screen leading man. Wait, where did you put it? Oh. Oh, in our Discord. Sorry, it was in the wrong window. There it is.

Oh, which guy, the guy in the thing or the guy standing? The guy in the box. Okay. Harrison Ford. You're right about how old school. Geez, Louises. Yeah. He left films.

1932 due to the arrival of sound oh shit he sounded like because he sounded like this hey you guys how come i'm harrison for how come i'm not getting cast in their films what's going on yeah that happened to a lot of the actors back then yeah yeah they just bailed do talkies yeah uh well that's funny that's great yeah well harrison ford the only worry okay i'm gonna just tell you a little worry i have about harrison ford uh he's kicking ass right now right doing lots of rolls that show on shrinking.

Shrinking's amazing. He's so good. So good. I liked him a lot as Thunderbolt Ross in this thing. Yeah. He was great.

I love, yeah, okay, won't say anything else. He was real good. And he's perfect for that kind of like temper,

temperamental. He has always been good at that. Yes. That's kind of, that cranky. The sword belongs in a museum dad, that whole thing,

right? Yeah. And the only thing I'm worried about, so he's in his, what, 80s, mid, early 80s, whatever he is. His ears currently extend out about two inches more than anyone I've ever seen in my life. And in this movie, it's very prominent.

And I don't exactly know what it is. Obviously, our bodies change as we age. Mine's changed in lots of ways. But, like, his, there's something about them being stalked way out, almost like there's tunnels now between the skull and a two-inch tunnel to the air. Like one of those umbilical hallways to get to get from his skull to his ears. Yeah, like an E.T. when they shut the house down and have to crawl through those things. Yes, exactly. And it's again, it's no shade.

It's just what we get weird. But usually old guys, their ears droop or get the bigger lobes or the ears enlarge or whatever. And he's got that too. He's got the big lobes going. Yeah, he's got that gone. But for some reason, it's like out and then down. It's like a coming off the bone weird. Anyway, when you all see it, you won't be able to unsee it, so you're welcome.

Yeah. Just picture Calistaflochart nibbling on those ears. I mean, I'd do that every night, so. So it helps me go to sleep. Yeah, that's how I sleep. Anyway, keep those calls coming. You want to go to voicecast. Yeah, you know me.

I was waiting for it. Slash TMS and send us your voicemails. You can use your phone. You can use whatever. It doesn't care. You don't have to log in. You don't have to do anything. fancy. You just record and send, and that's it. Easy, easy, easy to easy.

A quick note that, I hope Bobby's listening. Is he in the chat? Oh, don't forget this question for, you got a call question for Brian, or was that also the call? Oh, you know what? I'm sorry, I did skip it. I didn't mean to. I have a third question. This one's for Brian. You're right. Here goes. This one, to this person, I would say maybe your microphone's a little weird, but I'll get to hear it. This is for Brian on the morning stream. Now that it's far in on the pop culture Jeopardy, does Brian think that his team would have done well? I've been watching it,

and a lot of the questions are very current pop culture. But streaming shows I've never heard of, musical acts I've never heard of. I'm wondering if Brian's team would have done well. Peace out. Okay. You've been watching that? I have been watching it.

Colin Jost thing or whatever it is. Is it Colin Jost? It is Colin Jost. And my God, the sarcasm and, And quick wit of freaking Colin Jost. Man, he is, he is, he is, he is hilarious on that thing. His thing, his delivery of questions is always kind of the same. Like, da-da-da-da-da.

Like, you always, always finishes with a da-da-da. With his tone. Yeah. But I love it. No, it's such a good question because I would have been the youngest person on my team by about five years. And we, we all know how old I am and how little I know. about skibbitty toilet and and things like that.

So usually on every board, I think I can probably, I could probably do, and this is not, this is not a flex or anything like that, about two-thirds of the board I could probably do on my own. I don't have got some flex, that sounds about right.

Yeah. Yeah. I think that there's, but that remaining third, would not have been stuff that my much older teammates would have been a much older. Sorry, Mark Whalen. My older teammates would have done well with. How far back do they dip in pop culture?

Is it current today? I mean, they go back this far. I mean, they go back to, like, there was a Mary Tyler Moore question. There was, you know, there was stuff in there that's older. Okay. But I would say the average question topic is in the 90, to early 2000 or to to mid-2000s okay um uh they're playing to that uh millennial you yeah the millennial uh crowd a little bit they are yes nothing wrong with that the 90s was full of

great trivia 80s too but i was just curious if it was just like today only TikTok was founded by such and such name what's his wife's dog's title it's like uh derp i wouldn't know some of those things. Yeah, no, there was, exactly. We would have needed somebody, there's a guy that we occasionally play with named Jason, and Jason would have been the perfect addition to the team. I don't know, I don't know how, who, maybe me, I don't know who we would have subtracted to put Jason in there, but having Jason in there would have been the unstoppable thing because he, he is much younger and very focused on current stuff for trivia knowledge. Jason is one of these, Jason, Jason is this incredibly smart dude.

He's a substitute teacher. But his goal is to be on Jeopardy. But he doesn't want to try out for Jeopardy, even though he's already brilliant. But he doesn't want to try out for Jeopardy until he feels like he has mastered the topics that frequently seem to come up. So what he does, this is not an exaggeration, he will do a month on AI. FI movies from the 1960s. He will do a month on the periodic table. And just in all of his free time, he will spend learning about the periodic table,

memorizing the periodic table, watching AFI movies from the 60s. And he's got a book that he keeps track of everything. Like, he is doing this with the sole intent that he will be on Jeopardy. And my God, when he gets on there, look for James Holzhauer levels of mastery. Wow. That's awesome, though. I think that's cool, except you could get into this rut of prep, prep, prep, prep, and never go, you know. You know, but learning all that stuff doesn't, it's not like it's wasted knowledge.

Like, academic knowledge of chemicals and, and movie history and things like that. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's not the marble problem I have where he can't get more marbles in. Right. He just basically, like, clears out all the other marbles and focuses on one. marble a month and just really learns that marble and then and then uh finishes with that marble moves on this goes well with windy's whole thing of focus on one marble at a time yeah don't try to do a whole bowl of marbles all at once focus on the marble in the moment you're looking at the marble and then

move to the next to marble perhaps my straw would extend and accept more marbles if i did that you can you can extend your straw your straw can get bigger as you go older instead as you get older scott instead of smaller. See, and it brings us all back to the point that my daughter, Taylor, married a guy named Strauss. We're all, it's all come full circle. It all comes full circle. I don't know how many marbles he can eat.

Series of tubes. Well, anyway, that's fantastic. Thank you for noticing. I missed that call because I scrolled past it. Oh, no worries. Look, I was dreading. I was thinking it was going to come from a little vinyl who has been questioning everything I say.

Well, Brian, I don't know if you're a dentist really, you know, I'm not a dentist, but that whole root planing thing, root scaling thing seems a little suss to me, like a way to line their pockets. There's always somebody. I don't know about that whole drink of tequila causing problems with your sleep thing.

I don't know about that. Or I don't know about that whole K-Rock thing, Brian. It's like, okay, a little vinyl. I get it. Sure. I'm fine tooth combing through your filter. What else? I'm happy to do it.

I'm happy to talk to you about anything I say after the show. You sure a free hotel room isn't doubling as somebody else right now in our lives. Might be. You know, now you say that. A little vinyl in a free hotel. room seems like a match made in heaven. Every hotel room, especially.

There's a little vinyl. There's a little final in it. That's awesome. All right. This email is Bobby related. I don't know. I still haven't seen Bobby in here, so I'll just read it and he'll hear it when he hears it.

Yeah. It's about that asteroid business and this came to us. This may have been a text, I'm not sure. Anyway, this is from somebody with no name. And they said, I thought Scott's question to Bobby about, couldn't the odds of an asteroid go up, meaning increase the likelihood that that 2% one was going to hit us. Easy with your 2% jokes chat room.

Easy with those. You've all, you've had your fun. All right. Yeah. Move on from that. Anyway, because my whole take was, well, if it gets closer and they know more about it, he said, well, the odds go down. And I thought, well, no, the more you know, they could go up.

They could go down or they could go up, either one. Exactly. depending on oh it's actually more likely than we thought or nope it's less likely than we thought as it gets closer exactly the models yeah and he seemed to think like i did that bobby was like no it's they go down that's what he said now whether that's what he meant that's why i was hoping he was here he could he could say but anyway uh he says i thought that was a really good question i'm surprised bobby dismissed it so quickly time for you guys to run some new completely interact inaccurate lLM comparison i mean i don't deny that those were horrible they were very bad

Some of them were right on the money, and Tanner even posted a couple, like, yeah, here's the actual percentage of rolling two sixes. And it's like 3% really close. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot close. It was close, but it wasn't like, the list presented itself like 2% down the line. It was like not quite a time. The Wolfgang thing was like, what are even the chances of somebody naming their kid Wolfgang?

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Who determines how off the wall a name is? Yeah. And by mentioning naming your kid Wolfgang, didn't you just increase the chances of somebody naming their kid Wolfgang? Yeah. I'll bet there's more. I'll bet they, okay, I'm going to make a bet.

And I'm not saying this is 100% probable, but I think in the next 10 years, there will be more kids named Wolfgang. Because it does sound. Yeah, but also it does sound kind of cool for a little kid, like Wolfgang, put your sister down, you know? That's right. I don't mean, put her down. It was Eddie Munster's middle name, so why not? Yeah, we're not indeed. I mean, he's back in vogue.

Anyway, he sent us this. Chance of City Killer Asteroid 2024 YR4, this is the one we talked about. Smashing into Earth rises again to 3.1% according to NASA. It went up! Since we just talked, it went from 2% to 3.1% likelihood of hitting us. So, Bobby, what say you? Oh, he is in the chat. I see him in there now.

He says, I thought you were just asking about asteroid impact predictions in particular. I was clarifying why the predictions for asteroids always end up doing up first and then drop. Right. And I think that makes sense. And I like your excuse, Bobby. It's totally great. I love it. Yep.

But at the end of the day, this emailer knows what's up. Mm-hmm. It's a percentage. It's what's up. Anyway, thanks for that. Brian, you're going to go wine tasting today, and I am dying to know where in Colorado. In the winter, you go for a wine tasting. I guess it doesn't matter.

And I'll be really quick about this because I know we've got to get to the middle, the middle song and then all the other stuff we got going on today. But yeah, so a while back, and we even talked about on the show, pre-Christmas we were talking about looking for one of those tests that you take that you took in high school to help you figure out what jobs would be right for you. Um, uh, because Tristan was kind of struggling. He's like, yeah, you know, I'm, I'm kind of happy doing what I'm doing. But, but, but, you know, he knows it's not a permanent life, um, a career kind of thing. Sure. So he, uh, so I found one of these tests. And I found one that was, um, Stanford based, Stanford college base. So it's like, all right, this is like, uh, this isn't some hokey, um, jobs.com quiz kind of thing. and he

did the test and coming out of it he gave him a list of of potential careers that worked with the kind of choices he made working inside versus outside interacting with the public not interacting with the public

what kind of like late late hours evening hours or daytime hours or solo or with a group kind of thing and the one that spoke to him out of the list of like 10 or 15 positions that had talked about

out was Somalié. Oh, all right. Which is the person who, you know, as you know, the person at a restaurant who will answer your questions about wine, recommend a pairing to go with whatever meal you're having, that sort of thing. Not, you know, not a job that a lot of people say, when I grow up, I want to be a Somali. But it was something that kind of spoke to Tristan. And Claire asked the very good question.

Does he drink a lot of wine? Not a lot. No, it turns out. But he's kind of fascinated by it. And so we're going, we're kind of starting him off with like, all right, well, let's see, let's see, you know, this is one of those things that you would do as a Somalié is host wine tastings and things like that. I was joking with Barry the other day, who's actually going through a course at the San Francisco Wine Academy. He's taking his test. wish him good luck everybody oh my gosh this was the next step in his evolution man it is right he's

going to be actually a licensed cork dork uh basically is what uh that's awesome but no he's going for his level two um certification and uh um dude's bringing 36 bottles with him to Vegas by the way like he this is this is a gosh how's he doing that what do you do when you do that you bring a giant crate or just yeah just truck like a you bring a crate the size of uh the the the lost arc The top men are looking at her Our gaddy But anyway, so good luck Barry I know he's going to kill it

The dude knows his wine I was joking with him that Blindfolded I could probably say This I think is a red I think this is just by looking at it I'm going to say this is a red wine And that's about as much as I could do as well I'd say you know this tastes like dirt

I think this is wine And now looking at it it's red So I think it's a red wine This one tastes like an empty glass So I'm going to say empty glass glass on this one. Anyway, so I'm taking so Ballistery Vineyards, we have

a winery here in Colorado. They're actually known for cherry wine as much as they are for their other wines, but it's they, you know, it's a vineyard. They, cask and cork and all that stuff, their,

their wines there. And we're doing like a little, like 10 to 15 or 15 to 20 15 to 20 wine tasting today. Nice. And at the end of all this, there's what you just learn some stuff.

Did they give you like a bottle to take with? You can buy a ball. There's no, there's no souvenirs from the thing. You might, you could maybe ask for an empty bottle, but they're not going to give you a bottle of their wine. But you get a little tour of their, of their casking, corking room and all that stuff. Barry and I got that tour when we did this wine tasting.

It's going to be a lot of fun. do a little, maybe I'll record a little video or something and, uh, uh, send it to folks. But, um, yeah, it should be fun. I'm going to try and, I'm going to try and do, um, more like, identifying the individual components and like, oh, yeah, he says that there's a little bit of a, uh, uh, uh, current flavor in this one or a little bit of, um, a dark chocolate flavor in this one. I'm going to, I'm going to list, I'm going to taste for it, basically. That's interesting. You'll have to tell me how that goes, because the way it goes for me, it's just like, I get slammed with dirt's taste and then it's hard for me to then go to break through it and go oh yes but just behind that is the the earthy tone of a mushroom or whatever i can't do it i don't know how to do it for me

the description for me it's funny you get a dirt thing and and i totally get it everybody's physiology is different and the the flavor that registers for me before i figured out a really good way to describe it it was like it's like tasting a very dark purple oh this is what i imagine dark purple to taste like that's wild a color interesting color like like this tastes just like a like a smooth comfortable color surrounding everything surrounding you at a dark purple Stephanie says Scott has had wine question mark question mark it was from oh yeah it was from him from Barry Barry do you have the photo do you have the photo do you want oh I probably do you have that one handy I don't know if I have it I could I could probably pull it up really quick there's a

It's actually a great shot of me at the table. I like it. It really is. I look like a serious, like, otore in there, even though it tasted like dirt. Let's see. Let's see how good. Yeah. Gotta love Apple Photos and their search.

I type, I type drinking wine, and here's what comes up. Let's see what you got. I don't even talk Scott drinking wine. Let's see what you got here. Pulling it up. There we go. Oh, yeah, here I am tasting it. Look at my hand.

That's how I sleep, by the way. That's where my hand gets numb all the times. I'm always bending it right there at the wrist. But there you go. There's me tasting wine. Now, you might look at it and go, oh, Scott just chugging that down? No, no. No, it's a sip.

Sippy sip. Sippy sip. And it just doesn't, I'm even dressed the color of the wine. Like, look at me. I look like I'm there on purpose. You kind of are. I just don't know what it is with me and wine, but I'm willing to learn. Like, if he's bringing a crate or whatever he's doing this year, I'll give it another shot.

I'm open to, I'm open to try to understand the cultural machinations of why people are so into their wines, you know? Yeah. And I love Bobby. So it's, or Bobby, I like you too, Bobby, but I really like Barry. We love Barry as well. Yeah, Barry and Bobby are great. I got to send you this one because it came up in that same search. So I just got to send you this one because what a great photo of these two kids.

Oh, I love this. So for those who hear Brian's impression all the time of James, this is James and Svet right here. That's right. And Svetlana continues to grow in her beauty. Svetelina, sorry. She grows in her beauty each day. Yeah, yeah. James.

I love the hair color, too. It's just so. Yeah. James is going down the path of the Gallifanacus line of the agent. It kind of is, right. Yeah. And I like it. I'm here for the whole thing.

Basically, you could kind of imagine a baby strap to his chest wearing sunglasses. Yeah. Yeah. We love these guys, though. They're great. Oh, yeah. Yeah, no, it's great. Lighting here is a little harsh, but, yeah, you know, it's all right.

It's okay. You guys don't even know. You don't know how accurate it is. You don't understand unless you've met him. You don't get it. I hate that they don't know. We need him to call in and just talk so I can show people and give them a comparison. They'll just think it's you.

All right. We're going to take a break. When we come back from this break, we will talk to Wendy. my sister will be here. We got an email. We got all this stuff. So come back here shortly in a moment. Brian, let's play a song. What do you got? I've got something that I just love. This is a band called the Oracle Sisters, a trio. But they're not really sisters. It's Julie Johansson, Chris Willett, and Lewis Lazare. They're Paris-based, three-piece band. It feels like a Harry Potter thing.

Oh, it totally does. Totally does. Well, it sounds like anything like fantasy. He's like, where do we're not able to open the portal. What do we do? We need to talk to them. Call in the Oracle Sisters. Yeah. Anyway, this is their brand new album. It's called Divinations.

Dude, this whole album, everything that I've heard is great. This is like, and for those who wonder when I was talked about power pop, this is very power pop. This is more like a French French power pop. This was originally, by the way, written on a toy Cassio keyboard by the shoreline. Oh, my Lord. That's amazing. Yes. This is the song.

Blue left hand, not to be confused with red right hand by your, what's his face? I don't know. Pinky Blinders, dude. Oh. His name. Main guy? The band called the birthday party. No, no, not actor, but, oh, my God.

All I can think of is Paul Kelly right now, and I know it's not Paul Kelly. Anyway, don't worry about that. Blue left hand is the song. Oracle Sisters is the band Divinations. Nick Cave, thank you, Free Rangers. Could not pull Nick Cave out of my head. Sisters' band. Divinations is the album. Let's hear it. I've got my money. I've got my place. I've got my car. I've got my

dish of you for delinquency. I've got my money. I've got my place. I've got my car. I've got my dish of you for delinquency. I've got my friends I've got my state I got my colors like behind the gates it's in the news it's in your face it's in the rattle of the midnight rain where every car

and every plane are going home someplace you think it's safe and every star and every faith and every home that you've been waiting a face. Where is the gate?

Where is the tape? And it's a wonder that you cannot bring. Somebody thought it was here. All of the answers were clear. Pulling the care from the head again and again It's in the shining It's in the shapes

It's in the carving of the statue And every house Every minute In every second of the passing day Where is the laughter Where is the taste Where is the sun means true Across your face

I have the power I can change Nothing here will never stay the same Somebody thought it was here All over the eyes is here Pulling a cat from the head hanging in the den It's in the party at the midnight gates It's in the things that we all love to hate

It's in the harbor of every page It's in the corner of the playwright stage And every player and every fain And every wichner we've been at the stage We had the honor, we had it great Now you've got it, you can throw it away I got this thing, when somebody shows up on my doorstep screaming my name, I want to know why. Call it a quirk.

Every girl on campus just turned to jelly when he passed by. Hey, Brian, who was that musical a treat again? That was Nick Cave in the Bad Seeds. No, just kidding. That was Oracle Sisters from the brand new album Divinations and a song called Blue Left Hand. Nice. If you got a blue left hand, go get that looked at. It's a little weird.

You know, nobody wants a blue left hand. That's when you sleep on it because you, curling under you like when you drink and wine did that last night i woke up at like three a m both my hands were numb because i was holding them like this so stupid i don't know why i do that oh hi windy hello oh wait here's your thing psychosomatic that boy needs therapy you're psychosomatic that boy needs therapy lie down on the couch and chicken porn hey windy what's going on i like it hey hey guess what i wake up with numb hands all the time too yeah it's a johnson thing where you like bend it in the wrong way and yeah it's weird i tell we all

tuck it under like this, like a comfort thing or something. Yeah. I blame my mom. Yeah. It's my mom. She did something in the womb to us. I don't know what, but something. Yeah. But lately, coinciding with certain world events, I feel like I've done it more lately.

So I got to, I got to get some, I got to get some braces. Curling on in. Yeah. Yeah. Feal position, sure. Yeah. I sleep like a, like a baby, but I don't mean well. I mean like in the position. Yeah. I sleep in a fetal position. Anyway, hey Wendy, it's good to have you here. It's my sister, a real therapist,

helps people with real problems all the time and comes on here and does that self-same thing for you guys out of the goodness of her heart. And we're going to read an email today. Is there anything you want to say before we get cranking on this? Yeah, I got a funny story. Yeah. Ooh, let's hear it.

Tell it. We love funny stories on this show. I'll tell you funny story. I'll tell you funny story. Something that hasn't really happened to me before. So when you said I'm a real therapist, that has taken me years to sort of self-identify as. I know that sounds really weird.

I've been doing it for 25 years. You really would think I'd be used to the label. I just don't necessarily love the labels, I guess. I don't know. It's just a weird like, oh. You and Beyonce. However, we've come a long way in the sort of stigma of therapy. So I wonder if that's related, because, you know, from the 90s where you're like,

oh, something's wrong with you if you're in therapy, right? Yeah. To, okay, so the other night, I'm doing this fun service project with a bunch of people. We're fundraising for something. It's like all the things I'm going to tell you guys about today to do is like it's, I'm, I'm putting my money where my mouth is to like really make sure your own communities are doing well. Anyway, it's super fun. And there was a lady there who's pregnant. She's got a three-year-old at home and she's got another baby.

And she says to me, and this has never happened. She's like, I would like you to tell me everything. tell me everything I should do, don't leave anything out. And I'm like, I mean, I just met this person, by the way. Let me just be clear. Sure. And I was like, whoa, what do you mean? She goes, also, could you help me name the baby?

I'm like, what is happening right now? Clearly, she's like a little overwhelmed in life and was just like, I don't even care. I just need a name. I can't think of one. Anyway, so we start talking. And it's a group of us putting stuff together. And so we start talking about what our kids will say in therapy when they're older versus what we would say in therapy from our parents, right?

Sure. Anyway, it was just a very, I don't know, I just had a moment where I went, look at all of us, unafraid of this. And every, you know, it's kind of, it's just a real shift. And that was the thing we were talking about is how for a lot of, you know, middle-aged folks, they're just like, I mean, it feels like indulgence to spend time talking about yourself or, well, other people need it, you know. Or I'm not that bad or I don't know.

kind of whatever that mentality is, right? And it closes a little into what our email has to say, actually. Sure. Anyway, versus, you know, 20-year-old tours, like it's, you know, water, health care, food, and therapy feel like their basic rights. You know, they just really are into it. Anyway, so I sent this to her, and the whole room about died. I just said, yeah, okay, so most people your age are complaining to their therapists about how neglectful their parents were, sort of emotionally unavailable, still struggle with that.

And I said, and your kids are going to complain that your emotional availability was actually anxiety. And that's going to be their issue is that how anxious and micromanagey their parents were. And she's like, oh, no. And all the people in the room are like, oh, no. It's just a very fun, like, I don't know, it was great. I had a good time. I had a good time.

And it is based to what we're talking about today. So when you read the email, I have a couple, like, you would send me that. I had that experience and I just kept thinking like, yeah, it's different for everyone at different stages. And as we sort of spend time online and listen to each other from various sort of viewpoints, you sort of realize like, oh, everyone vibes differently around different things. Yeah. It makes, that's what makes us unique, right? Oh, you're all right. Drop a little something. You okay? Everything. Drop my glasses. Oh, no. I didn't know you, I thought you were the only one of us that didn't need glasses. Is that not true?

I do now. Well, you do now because you're old. Yeah, that's true. She doesn't need them. That's why she drops them. Yeah, but it's always. Exactly. They're in my hair 90%. But you're always so far behind me. Like when we were kids, I had big old Coke bottle glasses and Wendy had none. And I was like, well, that sucks. I mean, you had your ovary thing, but, you know, whatever. And then later, I turned. And you didn't. I turn it really. That's true. Your apples to apples. Yeah. My ovaries are doing great. I get to older age, I'm like 40-something, and I get cataracts early for no good reason. That's crazy.

Of course, Wendy doesn't, and she's still not wearing glasses, then. Well, now, finally, you're catching up to my, what, childhood years? So you've still got 100 years ahead of you. You're going to be fine. Everything will be great. All right, here we go. I'm going to now get on this here. Let's read this.

To Wendy Scott and Brian, somebody we're going to call R from California. short version for someone struggling with increased anxiety, stress, and possible depression, which type of behavioral health professional should I reach out to? And now here's the long version. We'll get more into the weeds here. I've been struggling with these intense anxiety and stress or with intense anxiety and stress for a few years now. I'm a couple of months away for my 50th birthday. And until recently, I always considered myself optimistic, happy, and emotionally even keeled. While the COVID years may have contributed to some of my acute anxiety at the time, the recent political stress is certainly playing a role now. I believe there's something deeper going on.

My wife and I have been married for nearly 11 years. She's aware of what I'm experiencing and wants to help, but she doesn't know what, doesn't know how. We used to be an occasional occurrence, or used to be an occasional occurrence and now has become a daily struggle, difficulty catching my breath, trembling, nonsensical feelings of impending doom, rapid heart rate, etc. My fear is that this road may lead to a depression and I don't feel I have the tools to course correct on my own. I want to reach out to mental health professionals for help, but I also want to avoid medication, if possible. I feel that with the right guidance. I can navigate my way through this without the use of prescription drugs.

That's why I'm writing. I don't know where to start. In my online research, I've come across psychologists, psychiatrists, marriage, and family therapists, clinical social workers, and enough acronyms to make my head spin. But where should I begin? No worries if you don't get to this question on TMS. I'm sure it'll ultimately find my way, but any suggestions for me would be greatly appreciated. And then here's a very nice note for us. And thank you, Scott and Brian.

I am fortunate enough to work from home so I can listen to you most days. You too, along with Wendy, and all of your guests have become familiar and comforting voices in my mornings. I am very grateful. Smiley Face says R. from California. Yeah, but apparently we're not enough. Thanks a lot.

Not near enough. We're just get you so far, and then you need a bigger hit. No, it's very nice for you to say. Absolutely. So, So Wendy, this is so interesting because my anxiety of the last, I had really bad anxiety in, let's say, the year 2004 through about 2015, I would say is my most anxious years. And I don't know why they just were.

And when I mean anxious, I mean like full-blown panic attacks. I think I talked to you a bunch about that stuff back then. I don't really have those anymore. but instead it's more of like a seething kind of pissy thing and at night I'm I don't know if I call it full blown depression but there are times at night where I'm just like everybody don't talk to me I'm just going to sit here and I'm wallow in my hoo-ha when I'm having a bad night or whatever it's not like every night's like that but um this really felt familiar you know like so I have to think if it feels familiar to me this feeling he's going through and

this sense of where he's at in his life and that it's all heading towards something bad that has to be common right people are people all feel this way in some way or another whatever it may be that that is you know acting as the stimulus for it so anyway let's let's let's let's talk about what we want to do for our and anyone else who's feeling you know like he like he is yeah and there is um it's such a great email because it is it's showing like a trajectory from someone, right? So there are going to be folks who have struggled with these feelings and these experiences from really early ages.

And so there is some, like, they're used to it. I remember a friend of mine when the run on toilet paper happened in March of 2020. She went into a target with her husband and said, you see how everyone looks right now? And he's like, yeah, she's like, that's how I feel all the time. and he was like what like no idea what that would be like unless you had you know here is this outward manifestation of it that she's been feeling since she was a kid and so if that is not your experience you you know here's a person just living life but feels pretty panicky all the time they're used to it there's their strategies they've used it's it's nothing new this this

friend of ours is showing us this like shift right and that can happen and so scott if we could go back in time in 2004 and, you know, take a snapshot of everything going on in your life and a full medical evaluation. We might find some things that were off and needed some course correcting and we could understand it or whatever. But most people, no one stops and goes, I feel odd for two days. I'm going to investigate. It builds. You start to have certain strategies that you're using to survive it. And those strategies sometimes are making it all worse. You just don't know it. You're just trying to survive, right? Yeah.

So there's a great example of, like, how this can come on. And noted, you know, I love a good midlife conversation, but this age is the perfect time for something like this to happen. You were a little young. How old were you in 2004, by the way? What was I? 33, 34? Yeah.

There were some extenuating circumstances. It didn't feel like a midlife to me. It was more like a, no, no, no, no. You know, I had little kids and everything. I just, it kind of came out of nowhere, though, and it sucked. I freaking sucked. Yeah, it's really hard. Yeah, it's really hard.

And so here he is a little later having this happen. And it is more common with in later years or midlife years. And some of that is for biological reasons. And then some of that is just like the stage of life reasons. So that, I've mentioned biology a couple times. And so he didn't say this in the email, but I would love for him to get this checked out is I would do a full medical evaluation. find a doctor you think is cool, and ask them to look at everything, including how is your endocrine system functioning? What are your hormone levels? Just like an overall, what's your thyroid

look like? All of the basics, often those wellness checks, right? Those will have things like, what's your cholesterol and, you know, H1C? You know, like they're looking at biometric markers for different disease and, you know, cancer screening and all that stuff. great. But there is a bunch of things that can happen in our bodies that will start to cue up these sort of biological responses that are anxious, right? So like he used, he described difficult catching your breath, trembling, impending doom, rapid heart rate, some of those things, right? So you can have a biological cause for some of those suddenly. And so I would just check to make sure that all of that is not what's happening. Also, if you switch medications, medications

could have these consequences pretty easily depending on what combination. So I would work through that. Maybe he already has. He is mentioning he does not want medication. So whenever I hear that when someone is like,

I need help, but don't put me on meds, it's usually because they don't know how this whole thing might work. And that's obviously the question. So we're going to walk through how it works and what to expect. So I would get an appointment for, And then I'm and then we'll go together and fact, Scott, I don't know if you can do it live or how people, people can do it with us.

But we're going to go through specifically how to find someone who would be a good fit for him to talk to. Oh, that's cool. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So let's start with this idea, though, that, um, there is a biological thing to just rule out and or confirm something might be going on. So set that appointment. Um, get, you got to get in now because, you know, or hurry.

Sometimes you have to wait around for that. Yeah, y'all are busy right now. I've noticed. I know. There's a lot of, like even blood panels. My doctor says she's like overwhelmed with blood panel appointments. It's crazy. I believe it.

Right. Right. So get on that first. Let's do that. Okay. So he mentioned something about he's afraid the road he's on is going to lead to depression. And what's really, he's right. That's exactly where this leads.

And I, you know, I'd ask a lot more questions about what else is happening, right? what are circumstances that are causing more stress or, you know, what are other factors leading to this? And that's obviously the therapist can help you go through that. So there's a biological component. There is the extenuating circumstances component. And sometimes because you're just living your life, you are not aware how much cortisol is shooting through your system or how stress you've actually become. And then you're having symptoms and they can feel like, oh, they just started, but there, we're building up to the impending doom and racing heart rate stuff with our amount of stress. So working through, and you're going to think, oh, this is my

normal life and my normal job. And someone with perspective would go, are you kidding? Like, this is not okay the way life is, you know, happening. So people aren't always aware of how things are affecting them. So that's another component. So we have biological, we have external stuff. And And then we have what can just be some of that internal stuff going on of like the dread of life, the difficulty of whatever situation we're in, the fear for future stuff. Obviously, COVID and now this new nightmare we're all living is very much like having a constant stress on top of your work stress or your family stress or whatever. And it's sort of on everyone's shoulders.

So I'll tell you some ideas of ways to handle that. But that is another factor here. And then your body is doing the right thing. Your body is freaking out because you're not doing the things that are going to help it feel safe. So it is in, it has moved into its sympathetic nervous system, which is to freak out and to get your attention and scare you and pay attention, etc. And remember, how many words does your body have to tell you something's not right? Well, it has a rapid, hard rate. It can tremble and it can help be hard to breathe.

It doesn't have necessarily other tools to let you know, but it will let you know that like we're not okay and something is off. So our job would be to figure out what the things are that are off and need remedy. And all of this is before anyone should talk to you about taking medication. medication is typically once you've figured out a bunch of these different things you'll either have relief starting because we're realizing what it is and what we can do about it or you will have tried some things and seen no progress and it gets worse or you just really need some help then a conversation about medication is appropriate and medication this is a very common

conversation I have with people I'm terrible even taking a vitamin so I get it I don't I don't want to. I get that you don't want to. But what happens is sometimes people think, well, I guess this is forever or now I'm dependent or this must mean I'm broken. I mean, those are very, very common phrases I hear from people. And I always like to remind people, it's like a test run. You're going to put more serotonin in your brain so you feel a little better and you have

the energy to do the things that are going to help actually reduce your stress. and help your body not have to respond this way, and then you can get off it. Like, that's very common. I think some people think it's like a life sentence or, and especially in his case, this is maybe something that at this stage of life is going to be necessary or not.

I don't know, but, you know, there are steps before medication, but I understand the tendency to not want to or to think about it. But just know that is one of the many tools that, you know, can really, help people. Sure. And that's if they still exist after, you know, anyway.

I'm going to do an underground railroad for a lot of things, and one is going to be anti-depressant. Sign me up. Let me know when... There's so many underground needs. It's terrible. I'm going to start calling you Harriet Stubman, or a different name, something like that. It'd be Harriet just with a little heart over the eye.

Yeah, yeah. There you go. A little accent. I like that. End it with an eye. Harry. Yeah. Okay. So let's walk through a couple things that, how to find someone to help you. Well, actually, let's do the how to reduce your overall stress with the current environment.

If you're an American, you live in. And if you're literally anyone in the world, you're also really freaked out by this. Believe me, I've talked to quite a few people outside this country who are like, help. I'm like, I can't, it's not my fault, but I don't know. Anyway, it's tricky. Everyone's stressed. Okay. So let's talk about just a little bit about what might be helpful for folks with that. And Scott and Brian, I'm going to use you as skinny pigs for a second. Be our guest.

How? And maybe you have to, you know, be honest with yourselves here. How much time and do a time equals energy equation in your head. So it might be five minutes of reading. Yeah. Five minutes of. of reading, but it just drops you into the pit of despair and you spend the next half hour complaining to your wife about the end of times. Okay. So that is a time energy number. How much

time energy are you giving to Trump's executive orders or layoffs or watching social media that is just sort of showing the downfall of democracy? Like how much of that, how much of your time and energy is going to that. And on a given day. Ooh, a given day. Less than, easily less than five minutes on a given day, unless it's Monday where I watch John Oliver, where I watch, I stream the most recent John Oliver on Monday morning. Okay.

But, yeah, no, I'm like, I'm getting the New York Times headlines and I'll just look at the top thing, say, well, that sucks. And because I know that if I, if I go more than the first or second paragraph in, like, I usually read the first paragraph and I'm like, okay, yeah, that's good to know, but yeah. Yeah, okay. And then I just move on because it's like if I do too much more than that, it pulls me into the weeds. And it's more like a, tell me what's going on, but I don't want to, I don't want to, it's not swelter in it, but I don't want to, well, wallow it. Well, wallow in it. Thank you. Wallow, yes.

I don't want to wallow. Do you guys remember that little, it feels like an innocent time when, you know, everyone was asking how often you think about the Roman Empire? Yes. Remember that? Remember that? I think the question now, it's much darker, but how often do you think about the third right, you know?

Like a lot more these days. A lot more. Like, it's, it can be daily when you are, you know, even five minutes. And that's why I'm connecting the amount of time with like how much drag it actually has on you. So how about you, Scott? What would you say? Well, these days, that or less, I'm really trying to avoid it.

What ends up happening for me is that I avoid it, but my brain's going, what are you avoiding? What's going on? I'm thinking about like the thing, it's like going, well, I see a giant, back to meteors for a second, but it's like me going, oh, there's a giant meteor. I'll just, I'll just ignore it. you know what I mean but I'm still the back of my head's going Meteor it's huge

it's going to make a giant hole it's going to kill tons of people like I'm still it's weird because I kind of thought non-exposure would lower the anxiety around it for me but instead

it's and it probably has because I don't have every detail of what's happening every second but pulling away like that has still left my brain going yeah what's going on what's going on right now. Yeah.

Because something must be, you know, something must be going on. Because of course. Yeah. Right. And the surface, the surface skimming of a bunch of things has its own price, actually. So if you took one topic and went deeper on it, like, really understand the, uh, the, what happened with Columbia and that false flag crap and behavior, right? Like, you could take that one story, which I clearly deep dived off. I could tell you all about it.

But it is, it's like, okay, I can deep dive in this, think about it, get the full context. I could do that or I can skim ten other horrible things happening and which actually makes me feel like I'm more informed or more settled. And I would argue most people probably a deeper dive on one thing versus the skimming has a better net effect than all of the other. So you're pointing to something really important. I think most people out of self-preservation are just viewing less and less time or only going to sources that also are funny like The Daily Show or John's, you know, Oliver, that just give you like a way to rage and laugh at the same time. Yeah.

Yeah. We always need our gestures, right? It's the spoonful of sugar with the medicine, really, is what it is. Yeah, yeah, very much. And so what I've been talking to a lot of people about is just sort of how to handle this dynamic. There are obviously actively people losing their jobs and their sense of security and. family relationships are really strained and lots of things happening that are bigger than I just watched the news for five minutes or not. So notwithstanding that, there is this like

a series of behaviors that I think when I've talked to people about using them and they implement difference. So there's the cold turkey method, right, which is look at nothing and then only have one source of like a long form maybe it's like meets the need of I'm somewhat informed right because none of us will be fully informed but I'm somewhat informed and I'm being thoughtful about something or they cold turkey everything and it's okay stick your head in the sand there's just part two though by the way and then or the five minutes a day or eliminating whatever it might be that is just sucking the energy. Think of it is we want to reduce the energy suck

and the despair creating experience. So reducing that, creating some boundaries around that. And then here's the important thing. Do you think deep diving, sorry to interrupt, but what you just said really stuck out to me, do you think deep diving is a good way to do that because you are getting a fuller picture of the one thing and it's more academic, right?

You're not, it's not emotional. It's not headline reactie. It's going, okay, well, wait a minute, and you dig down a bit. And you're also being exposed to the truth of all of it, which isn't just the main story, but also who is trying to upset you? And sometimes it's a lefty trying to upset you. Or sometimes it's a righty. It doesn't matter.

The point is you don't know who is until you kind of investigate. and it will, in theory, that's why I like reading history right now. That's my big coping mechanism right now is reading history because history has all kinds of context and also a lot of dark stuff in history that you just don't, we weren't there for it. So we don't know what it was like. And when you read about it, you go, oh, that's pretty bad. That's not even as bad as this.

Or we're not as bad as that. You can gain that kind of perspective out of a deeper dive because you're looking at it in a more academic, more of a studied way instead of an emotional way. And that helps me a lot during this. And that makes, I get this sort of concept from, A, personally doing it, but also the idea of, you know, what's the crap face Bannon, who was like, just fill it all with crap and everyone's so stupid. Flooding the zone, right? Flooding the zone that calls? There we go.

Yeah. And so I'm like, well, guess what I'm not doing? I'm not going to be part of the zone being flooded. I will deep dive. So it's my way of being additive. But it is also like what you're saying, Scott. And here's the thing. Think about almost like layers of the brain if the headline will activate the fear centers, right?

Yeah. And the disgust. And it's like the reality TV part of our brain. We just, that is exciting, right? And it's appealing and it's shallow and we can get it quick and then move on with our lives. So you can stay there or you start using other faculties when you go deeper. And you can really understand this is. is the only place both sides actually makes sense, right, where you're really truly finding out

what's real and what's true. And that's, so when someone says, oh, do your research, what they're saying is Google a couple things that will fit your already preconceived notions. Yeah, but actual research means you're surprised and you're wrong and you're, you know, so that's a, that's a commitment if you're not a researcher, but maybe you can find some sources that would feel really helpful for you that way and try it. If you haven't done this, try it. try eliminating all the surface stuff and do a deep dive on something and really pull out history. Like, I'm reading a book about Vietnam right now, and I'm like, I cannot believe Vietnam is giving me so much hope. Sure.

Because it was so bad. And I think, Scott, mom was pregnant with you during then. Maybe that's why you curl up in fetal position. I don't know. Yeah, maybe her, she was all tight. And the womb was going, er, constricting me. And this is super recent history, right? Anyway, so you can have these, like, that is to activate your brain in like a different way

rather than just the fear center, panicky drama centers of the brain, right? Take the white women phenomenon of murder podcasts, right? Or true crime. Why do you want to go so deep and understand every facet of something, right? You actually feel weirdly safer knowing all the information than you do by like, there was a killer once in your old neighborhood, and you just would panic. So it would be that kind of mental practice. So, okay, that's part one, is kind of play around with that to see what works for you.

And it may be literally nothing, or it may be your five-minute timer goes off. You're done. Okay, so there's that. The second part, and this is the part I think is the most important. And this is why I told you that story at the beginning is as I talk to people, I realize so many people, and we know this from stats. actually, are just a little more isolated socially than they have been. There's been a lot of pressure on relationships for everyone to just agree with each other or commiserate with each other. And if you can't, you're not safe. You know, we have a lot of

interpersonal strain that's occurred. And so it's as simple as this and like, hey, get together with your friends and have some pizza or all the way to you need to do something, right? You read this stuff. feel powerless, and then you just go live your life. And that sort of cognitive dissonance or moral problem, it's like a moral problem. Like, I should be. I care about this thing, but then I'm just going to go order my crap on Amazon and enjoy it. Right? Like, we're not behaving. And this is just humans. It's not easy to behave with your conscience until it's demanded of you. And when it's not demanded of you, we have to sort of sit with some cognitive. participants. So I've been telling people to be proactive about this and find a place where the

energy slash time you saved from not getting in the poop storm or flooding the zone and translate that into very local, very personal. So for example, if your friend needs you, be there for your friend. It doesn't have to be this giant production, but it does need to be. real and where you already are, right? So some kind of good within your tiny realm, and then if that feels, you know, pretty secure, then where is the realm you care about and put your boots on and go do a thing? And there is value in like online marketing and behaviors and words, but overall we know, like most of that is not helping anything.

So something actually in person, if we can do it and connect it to a thing you care about. So if this were my client, I'd say, hi, R from California, what is happening literally right around you? And he's like, listen, I am having panic. Why, you're telling me to go volunteer? Now, obviously, I would have gotten further along before I said any. So don't get me wrong. But this is really for everybody of like if I am distressed and in despair and free, freaking out, that energy is not going to something it needs to go to. And we're built to do that,

right? So for example, his heart racing is to prep him for getting out of where he is because it's scary, even though his system is being hijacked. And we'll figure out how to help him with that. But that is how we operate. We have a feeling. We have a desire. We have an impulse. Our bodies and brains were like, let's do something. And then we do nothing. It's problematic. So I would like to challenge everyone to just sort of take a good look at their content absorption and the, like, how they're doing that and seeing if that needs to be tweaked. And then find one, boots on the ground, something. Just, it could literally be anything. And most people are already involved some way, maybe with the school or maybe with their church group or whatever. There,

there's some connection that exists that you can just deepen, ask somebody if they want to do an extra thing with you or what is already going on. I have a friend who has sent me an entire dock full of all sorts of things coming up that you could support and help, especially with refugees and all the just strain on families and schools. And, you know, we could, it's so nice because I'm like, oh, I have two hours. Where can I put it? Right. So look around, see if you can help that way. Any thoughts on that? And then I'll get into how to find it there.

Well, I can tell you that the only, that's the only thing that's ever worked for me. In all honesty, every other idea, every other like, take this herb at night or, you know, whatever bull crap somebody tells me. The best thing that is, that ever is like, someone in the chat just said it. Kyra'sdale once said this. He said, where is it? He says action absorbs anxiety. There it is. Chris wrote that.

There is something real with that. The hard part, it's like the starter motor is a little tricky. It's like you know you can mow this lawn, but the cord's just not, you got to get the, you know, it's got to start. To pull that, yeah. And that's hard, that's the hardest part. Because once you do that, then momentum is there and you're moving and you're going and you got it. But getting that part done, that's what I, that's where I struggle. I'm sure most people do.

Very common. Very common. And so this is why we could gamify this, right? instead of fantasy football league we have fantasy boots on the ground leagues where or you know or some way personally to motivate yourself like um you know for me I'm I'm motivated by being around other people yeah oh sorry it looked like you were calling me on my phone are you guys trying to no this sometimes this happens discord thing sometimes and it's usually way into the call it will suddenly start calling it's really weird I don't know why it does that all right

scared me. I'm like, who is on the inside calling me? Or who is this the real Scott and Brian calling me? Then who am I talking to? I knew it. I knew you guys did that AI. Sure. Anyway, but that would be some way to like find a friend to do it with,

right? Find ways to, I've had clients do this for 20-something years. I find out what is really, they're struggling with. And like, you know, if you see the headline, it really bothers you the most. and instead of picking one of the many things that bother you, you pick one and then do one thing, right?

And so if you haven't called your representative or your congressperson, that is the easiest one to do, right? And if you care about something, then make a phone call. Like that could be, I'm just going to start with one small thing and or, like, who is a buddy that would also be willing to help me find something and do something together? that might help with the starter challenge right because it is it is hard to start everything is starting is always the hardest kim just did with her friend uh i can't remember a friend's name my brain's dead right now but um they started a pottery class uh because they were looking for an out like a creative outlet and to do a thing that they've never done before it was a challenge for them to do it where they had to work with others and this whole thing and and they've just

been freaking loving that class just loving it's a great diversion yeah yeah and really quick I'm going to actually take the word you just said, Brian, and change it. It is not a diversion right now. It is a diversion in the, it's not an escape. I don't want to imply that that's a negative term. Like, it's distracting you from, it's just basically a focus you can have. Yes, there you go. And it's not, it still exists, but it's a.

Yeah, it's not the word I have a problem with it. It's more like. The way I said it. No, Brian. No, it's more like this is. exactly what I'm talking about. Like, it is the thing. So I could go to a protest or I could go to a pottery class.

That sounds weird that I would equate the two. But honestly, anytime you are around others and building bridges and realizing and truly realizing how many good people are everywhere, it helps immensely. So don't ask what you can do for your country. Go join an art class and get to no neighbors. Like, truly, like, that actually matters. And it sounds a little nuts, but it is as radically, like, successful in preventing garbage than anything else. Like, you need to know your neighbor.

You need to have contact with people and not just think people all suck. So if we all just sit in our cars and think everyone sucks because of how they drive, we're in trouble. Yeah, we're in big trouble. If you, like, hate people, you are. Oh, my God, when did people's driving sucks so bad? I know. People come to an intersection to go, to make a turn. And it's like they're drawing a diagonal line across.

Like, yeah, but here's it. Here's a story that really well. Here's a story that Wendy will probably like because it probably supports what you're saying. I got rear-ended once by who I thought was someone I didn't know and was just being stupid. And I was parked at a light. And the person, it wasn't even bad. It was like, you stopped at a light. You stopped at a light, yeah.

And they were, I wasn't moving. The point. The problem is you parked. Yeah. And he comes up and bunt, bumps the back of me. It wasn't super hard. I didn't like get whiplash or anything, but it was obviously, he wasn't paying attention, bumped the thing.

And I was like immediately into car anger mode. Like who, who the hell? And I see this person get out of their car and I get out of my car and I'm prepping for like a conflict. Yeah, it's going to get real ugly here on the street. And I get out of there and I immediately, I recognize this. is my neighbor three doors down who we like a lot everyone's friendly we've had them for dinner they've had us for dinner over for dinner i should say um we hang out all the time our kids are

similar ages like all this stuff and it was like oh man hey what's like immediately changed everything about the scenario because we knew each other and we knew each other fondly it wasn't so no longer was i going where'd you learn out of drive give me your papers that all went away Instead, it was like, oh, man, this is so, this is silly. Are you okay? You're all right? Yeah, you suddenly care about the other person more, all that kind of stuff. So that was one of the wildest experiences I had ever had.

And, you know, I don't even know if I really truly learned my lesson because there have been plenty of dumb people that kept me off or do something stupid and I still get all mad for all I know. That's somebody I knew. I don't know. Well, exactly. If you didn't know he was your neighbor, you might have still been mad and then realize like doors away, which is, you know, shame.

all of you. No, really, it's, you're talking about the biology of separation, right? I'm in a car. I'm under threat. Let's all be honest about it. And when that bubble gets even tapped, then we have responses that are protective and anger is the main one of like, how do I handle this, right? So, yes, I like that illustration because it, it, it, there really is a lot of, um, self-soothing sort of humanizing experiences. Humanizing people is really, really important. Dehumanizing is a tactic. Oh, I don't know.

We've seen many times in history, right? So anything that can humanize someone and make sure you know there's a real person behind that label someone else has put out makes a massive difference, right? So maybe if we all just said, okay, what is one activity I can do that would humanize another? And pottery is great. That humanizes the person running the kiln and the people sitting next to you and whatever it is. Right. So it doesn't have to be that you're all doing some massive, you know, the underground railroad that I'm suggesting.

But it does mean do your part to be a person in this world with each other and humanize other people, right? So thanks coming on my TED Talk. All right. So now what I need everyone to do is go to their internet. We've got some homework. Let's do it. All right. We're going to do it right now.

And are in California. Hopefully you're listening and you can do it with us. So I want everyone to pull up a, um, and da-da-da-da. And we've done this maybe once before, but I want you to go to Psychology Today.com. Wait, give a toast again, psychology today.com. You said you cut up for a second. Psychology Today.com and it pulls up. There's a lovely lady looking up and to the right.

Anyway, but you see right below, it will say find a therapist. Yeah. Now her eyes are rolling for me. What's going on? Just kidding. We all have different internets, obviously. Okay. So if you go to the find your therapist, find a therapist, and you can click on that and see that there's psychiatrists, support groups, and treatment centers, usually. And what you do is put in your zip code. So I'm going to put my zip code in. You guys put your zip codes in, especially are. And immediately, I have all these lovely faces, people who have spent their whole lives and training. Happy, yeah. Yes. And each person writes there like deal. Here's my deal. I want to help you along the way.

And you're going to see their qualifications. So we have psychologists. We have licensed professional counselors. We have family therapists. We have clinical social workers. I'm going to just give you the shorthand. Everybody's the same. They are.

Everybody is trying and helping. They just did school a little bit differently. so many so many women is it well why is your industry so dominated by the ladies do you think is it because you guys are smarter and open-hearted and they're very sexist about letting men be uh i think it's because women are awesome do you really want to talk about i'm kidding he's kidding he's really want to talk about the history of while any field was once male dominated and now has become female dominant i mean i probably no yeah they probably don't exist yeah it's uh but i that because I'll tell you what, I would rather, I don't know what this says about me. I'd rather

have a female therapist than anything. Everyone, everyone's got mommy issues. I don't, I don't trust this Jeremy guy here. We could have a whole, we could have a whole, I'm not picking this first one, though. I'm not picking that first one right there. Okay. So that is exactly a great point. You have like a gut, like a gut response, right? And that's not fair because it's like Tinder and we're swiping right and left and pictures are pictures. But you read what they say, you click on there. So you could, Just pick the first one, click on the view. You're going to see where they are created near you. Sometimes they have a little video.

I always scroll down to see if they do a free 15-minute consultation. Most people do. And on there, you email them, set that up. You get to chat and find out if you're a good fit. You are hiring someone to help you overcome this onsite of what seems like an anxiety disorder or the beginning of an anxiety disorder. This is important. So you find out how much practice they've had, et cetera.

So if you keep going down, you can see what their top specialties are. So you make sure it's somebody who works with anxiety. I like it when they're like, and like life transitions or the lifespan. You're going to look, if you're 50, you look for someone who is well aware of that as a dynamic because you're in that category. You can also, and of course there's the filters at the top, right, when you search. search for your insurance company. Search for someone who lives near you. There are LGBTQ professionals who can really help the communities they are allied with.

So they will list those. So you can have a religious person who's affiliated with a religion and that's their deal. And then all sorts of different types and approaches, right? So it's usually pretty thorough. You can just email them. You can see if they're accepting patients. you can see if they do it online. It's got everything you need.

Psychology Today has done a really good job of, I mean, I find people in England for people. I found Germans. I mean, it's really weirdly robust. Some websites you're like, where, I mean, this is kind of the ideal one. Because a lot of our training, we do a lot of continuing education.

They're always throwing us like, hey, and here's your free six months of psychology today. And people get a lot of business through here. You're not going to find me on here. I'm not here because I'm cool like that. but everyone else is good. This is not like, oh, they're no good. They're here.

I promise. Sure, sure, sure. I maybe don't trust the one whose description says, please enter some, please write for me some copy that would be good for a therapist. Yeah. And it's a good-GPT on response. Yeah, people that didn't finish their chat GPT prompts. They don't want them.

That's amazing. That's amazing. Wendy, should I trust somebody named Ammon? And you know why I'm asking the question? I trust that. Is that some, okay. Do not. No, I'm just kidding.

What's it a man, too? And you can't, you're afraid of it. I can't do the men. I like the women's. I like the ladies. Yeah, like the women. So you can see, like, right at the top there, you guys have female online, right? Like, you can filter.

And I'm going to have everyone go to the filters really quick. Oh, wow. There's a lot here. And there's anxiety right there. There we go. So what you would do are, is you would click anxiety. And I would throw in. Screen addiction.

Ooh, does it have there? Podcast addiction. No, it's not. Okay, okay. And then if you prefer a male, female, not do online, whatever, all that. And then when you go to subspecialties, you can go even further. So you may feel like, oh, I actually, men's issues. There's a men's issues you could throw in there.

There's a, maybe you're a veteran. Maybe there's some substance use you forgot to put in the email. Okay, whatever, right? Then you go do your insurance and. That's cool. Yeah. And then it shows your therapy. Now go to the types of therapy.

Here's the other one I want you to glance at. So all of these are great. There's literally nothing in here. I'd be like, don't do it. But with anxiety, there is a couple really great specific ones if you want to try. Sometimes it narrows it too much because not everyone has clicked every single thing they do. You're talking about the heading that says types of therapy. That's what you're talking about.

So when you open it up, there's a million options, right? You can see them. I really like internal family systems. That's one. I found that really helpful with anxiety. So I would click on that because that's me, but that's a good one. And let's see, emotionally focused is quite good. EMDR is quite good.

What does EMDR stand for? I saw that in a couple people's descriptions that they're specialists in EMDR. Yeah. Yeah, it's eye movement desensitization. I always say it wrong. Oh, you talked about this. for your eyes yeah for trauma and different things so it's really effective for trauma he didn't mention any trauma and so you you want someone who's probably pretty good at trauma but

that won't maybe be the most important exactly thing but it could be because what is what is strength based it sounds like that's something I'm checking off at the freaking night time as you build your as you build your character in world warcraft yeah right right right so strength based is really like seeing the patient or the client as a whole and that There's some things that need help rather than their pathology or a problem. And it's everybody who's a decent therapist, pretty strength-based. They're not going to be like 100% just you're a loser, right? Like it's all, you have so many strengths.

But they tend to have training. So you would list these things if you've done specific training in it or maybe you have credentialing in some of these things. All I pictures of the lady from Severance going, your any is very good at talking to other people. Right. You're any. Exactly. Yeah. Have you watched that show at all, by the way, Wendy?

I love it. I'm waiting. I've got to finish silo. I have one more episode before I can start the second season. You're living, you're just like mirroring my life right now, except for having better eyeballs. Other than that, we're very silent. Silo has been very fun. Okay, so you can see there's, if you have a kid needs therapy, always click on Sandplay. Sandplay. Sand play is important or play therapy for kids. You want sand play. Like, while you're talking, you're just playing with sand and building stuff and like while you're... It's amazing. I think adults should have play therapy. And they do. Some of that silicon sand stuff over in the other room that I used to drag out when we had kids come over.

And it's like, you know, I got to play with that myself. Like, get that out in a little bowl or something. Nothing wrong with that. You, you and sand where you're just feeling the sand. Like, beach therapy is great. So really quick, we've talked about OCD in other episodes. And if you're looking at this list, exposure response, prevent. prevention and prolonged exposure therapy, those are ones you want to click.

You want to know someone really knows what they're doing with OCD. So as you can see, this is an incredible service of like here. I'm going to narrow this down to what I need. I can click on the age I am to make sure they work with people like me. You can pick your ethnicity, your sexuality, your language, your faith. And then you can see in price ranges. And sliding scale, everyone, is where the therapist will take you, based on your income, you'll pay that amount. That's cool.

And so really cool. So then you click it all, click on whatever comes up and you start making phone calls. And I just got a hundred-year-old lady pulled up. I'm not calling her. That's not going to work. And also, no one told her how. I know, you guys, but really, wow, that's a terrible picture. But it's usually because someone, they might be amazing.

they're just bad at computers. So just be kind. They're like the side of their face, you know, when you're talking to them. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, no, it's not. But it doesn't mean everyone who's good at, you know, computer savvy is good at therapy. If you need an older safe pace, you know, maybe that's a fit for you.

So here's what I love to tell people is really just like you're doing a gut check. Do you like them? Do you feel heard in your little 15 minute free chat? Are you feeling? like, oh, yeah, that was helpful. Like, if I talk to someone for 15 minutes and they don't get the sense from me that I can help them and that I'm helpful and you click with me, don't force it. I don't want you coming in, right?

And I also have done this for vetting other therapists. And it's just true. You get a sense. So I love that feature that you could do 15 minutes. Check it out. Yeah, most of these. That would be a good start. I noticed most of these have the 15-minute thing, almost all of them.

Yeah, it's a pretty common because it's hard. This is hard to pick someone. We all know it. And the fit really matters. It's not like I go to a doctor who can just prescribe me something or set my bone and I don't care what his personality is like or her. This matters, right? So you've got to do a little investigating.

And before the anxiety gets too bad, you want to be definitely doing this. This is really hard when you're depressed to make some of this effort. So, yeah. So check that out. And again, all the acronyms mean nothing. Really, for all intents and purposes, you just want somebody who does have an acronym, who is a legitimate provider, but also has the skills to work with someone with anxiety. And then just make sure you vibe with them, just a little.

It doesn't have to be the biggest vibe. It can be just enough that you're willing to do the work and get the relief, you know, that you need. Sure. All right. Well, this is great. I think we put them on a path here. Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

Put us both. Everybody on a path. Everyone's on a path. Look at this path. Yeah. Let's be Gen Z. We all deserve it. Let's do it, you guys.

A bunch of weirdos. Well, this is fantastic. As always a good time hanging out on Therapy Thursday. Wendy, in the meantime, people should probably go to Know Better You.com and sign up for future updates and whatnot. How's that all going? Everything going good? It's good. Yeah.

We're a week like three. Yeah. And yeah, it's fun. We have a good group. And a lot of people in cold places. So I'm loving it. we're all like, what do we do indoors? Yeah.

I was going to say cold play. Yeah. Oh, nice. The whole cold play band is here, which is wild. That's great. Everything's yellow. It's a lot of fun. Yeah, it's all yellow.

Yeah. I like that. Give me your email and I'll send you what's coming up next. Yeah. It's not spam. It's, it's ham. No, no, no. It's better than that.

Better than spam. That's what I was trying to say. That's the new slogan. Sign up today, better than spam. Wendy, fantastic talking to you. Have a great week. Say out of the kids. And we will.

see you the next time by now. Enjoy your better eyeballs so that you somehow got. Right. But those ovaries. Oh, man, those things. What a problem they turned out to be. All right. I like the woman you found, by the way, in your Find a Therapist list who looks like she's miming the I'm stuck in a box. Yeah, I don't love this one. She's basically edges, that is edge to edge. So she really is doing that with her photo. Yeah. And I kind of hate it. so I won't be calling her, and it's fine. I'm sure she's very nice. The tips of her fingers on her left?

Yeah, that's a little weird, isn't it? Her fingers look cut off, yeah. It's a little bit weird. Is she AI generated? Count those fingers. Oh, my gosh. And the other hand's kind of bent funny. The other hand's really effed up.

Yeah. Something's going on here. Maybe she is generated. Shoot, Wendy's gone. We can't ask her about that whole problem. What about AI generated therapists? All right. That's it for the show.

Real quick note, we got a bunch of stuff coming up. Coverville today, noon, what's going on there? Yeah. A triple today. Love it when I can fill the show with a triple. Howard Jones is turning 70. Walter Becker would have turned 75, Walter Becker half of the band Steely Dan.

I'll talk about that in one second, and Smokey Robinson turning 85. Now, when I do a show, there are very few bands that I can think of that are as divisive as Steely Dan. There are people that like Steely Dan a lot, and then there are people who don't like them a lot. And so when I do a show, goal is never to oh i'm going to change people's minds about steely dan never do that but i'm going

to strive to entertain people with songs that that are that maybe take out the things that they or have less of the thing that they probably don't like about steely dan which is uh probably none of the songs that are kind of creepy uh don't avoid those sure hey 19 creepy song um that one's problematic for sure yeah a little problematic but then like having some songs in there that's like oh yeah i really like the kind of electronic take on this one so i tina's the great example of that claire brings her up tina doesn't like steely den so i try and gear a show towards where teen will be like oh yeah i really like carra jones i'm not going to tune out during the steely dan stuff because it's it's it's it's it's all right actually sure so

sure yeah that makes sense well that's great i'm looking forward so yeah smoky robinson walter becker and howard jones big old play date for a birthday party for all these artists it's fantastic that's right Wouldn't it be great? Yeah, all these play date, being like a 4 p.m. dinner at Denny's really what it is. Yeah, you put on the hats, the people there will sing to you. It's going to be great. I've been following Howard Jones on TikTok lately, and he's great. Can I just say that?

He really is. He is so positive and uplifting and just really, really a cool, just a really cool dude. He still wears the little goofy hat. I like that. Anyway, go check that out if you have not. and also watch Coverville today, noon, live. Yeah. If you're like using, I'm having fun with my Everybody Screams deck,

which is a deck that uses Scream and bounces their cards around and takes points away from their cards every time, every time I move them. Yeah. Nice. Watch for that. If you're like, man, I hate music. Well, if you like video games, you have an alternative. Today at noon core, about an hour from now, you'll be able to watch that as well.

Me, John Boe, doing our thing. TMS Friday will happen tomorrow. Monica will be joining us with one of her recommendations. visits. Also, should be part of our contest. That'll be lots of fun. Trivia. I look forward to that. That's for our patrons only.

So if you want to be a Patreon, a supporter, do it today. And you can listen to our TMS Friday episodes as well, including all the back issues. Play Retro this weekend on Friday, 130. We've got Film Sack this weekend. Big long movie. Nightwriters. Two and a half hour movie with Ed Harris and Renaissance festivals. Yeah.

Hard to tell what we're in for with this one. but uh i know i have not one watching it tonight and uh i've i'm already concerned kind of just make sure you got a two and a half hour time period to watch this long ass movie we tried to do shorter films but this one uh drink some wine and then watch night riders who there you have it so that's this weekend that'll be fun and then uh brian you got a little plug you want to make here at the end oh yeah um i was talking to chuck earlier and uh there are still some spots available available for the video game tournament if you go to TMS.Vegas

the very first night, Monday night, or the very first official night, is a video game tournament run expertly by Amy and Chuck. Huge, huge things to them. And they basically have a thing that keeps track of who's

playing against two, and it is absolutely the most fun, friendly competition. If you're worried that you don't, you suck at video games, don't worry. two-thirds of us do suck at these old arcade games. Yeah, and to make things clear, we're talking arcade machines, not like, you know, you don't need to be good at Fortnite or something.

Xbox, PlayStation, et cetera. You're playing, you know, and you get to work with your person and figure out what game you both want to play. Maybe it's TechMobile. Maybe it's Blasteroids. Maybe it's elevator action. I don't know, but you'll pick a game and you'll play against each other. So go to TMS.orgas and sign up.

Just get a little nervous of cheesy G. Kathy comes up to you and says, hey, let's play Miss Pac-Man because you're screwed. Don't do it. Yeah, or Amy says, let's play Gallagher. Yeah. Who was it? There was like a master at Dance Dance Revolution? Holy cow.

Oh, was it Bobby? Bobby was like really good at Dance Revolution. Bobby was pretty good. Kevin was really good. KT. Data, Kevin. That's right. Yes. I was very bad and we'll never do it again.

That's a good workout, though. Anyway, that's all the stuff coming up. That's a good plug for Vegas. We got more Vegas stuff coming. So watch, I think next week will be the big week for like, hey, tickets are up and here's what's in the bags and all that stuff. So watch for that. That's going to do it for us. Frogpants.com slash TMS.

Keep that feedback coming. Use that new voice thing. You can also keep texting us, emailing us. It's all there on the site. So go use it at your leisure. And we'll see a bunch of you tomorrow for our patron only episode. Brian, let's get out of here with a song. Cool.

That's right. It was do you see who was really good at D.D. Dance Dance Revolution. Bobby was really good at Guitar Hero. And I remember seeing Bobby playing was a Dr. Mickey at Guitar Hero. Have fun. Freaking fun. Yeah.

Good times. Love it. Bob Finnegan, mailman Bob wrote in and said, Dear S&B, February 9th was my 57th birthday. Happy birthday, dude. Can I get a happy Dersh Day? Of course. Hell yeah, right here. Where is it?

That says diarrhea. Hold on. Here we go. Happy Dad, say, do you. Let's push the diarrhea button. Sorry. You're good. Brian, find me a cover of or buy one of my favorite singers, Paul Carrick.

Thank you. Love the show, though. Friday the 7th or any time the following week would be great. How about any time the following following week, Bob? Because you guys are all front-loaded on February, man. Totally front-loaded. Dude, Paul Carrick, not just your favorite vocalist or one of your favorite vocalist, one of mine as well. This is a guy who has had such tremendous range or does have such tremendous range and still sounds honey-smooth.

You know him from songs like Tempted by Squeeze, tempted by the fruit of another. That was his lead vocal. Mike and the Mechanics, Silent Running and the Living Years were both Paul Carrick, fronted. The song, How long has this been going on? That's Paul Carrick. That was the band Ace. Paul Carrick, incredible musician, incredible singer. So, yeah, you tell me to play a Paul Carrick song.

I'm going to have some fun picking one. This one, one of the ones I just mentioned, but he did his own version of it, a follow-out like a stripped-down version of Squeezes Tempted from his Eyes of Blue single from 1995. Here's Paul Carrick, taking the song solo and really breaking it down and making it awesome, even more awesome.

Here's Tempted. I bought a toothbrush, some toothpaste, a flannel for my face. pajamas, a hairbrush, new shoes, and a case. Said to my reflection, let's get out of this place. Past the church and the steeple, the laundry on the hill, billboards and the buildings memories of it still

keep calling and calling but forget it all know I will I was tempted by the fruits of another tempted but the truth is discovered what's been going on now that you have gone

there's no other tempted by the fruit of another tempted but the truth is discovered I'm at the car park The airport The baggage carousel The people keep on crowding I'm wishing I was well

I said there's no occasion No story I could tell At my bedside, empty pocket, foot without a sock, your body gets much closer. I fumble for the clock along by the seduction. I wish it would stop. I was tempted by the fruits of another. Tempted but the truth is discovered What's been going on

Now that you have gone There's no other Tempted by the fruit of another Tempted but the truth is discovered I bought a novel Some perfume A fortune over you But it's not my conscience

That hates to be untrue I asked if my reflection Tell me what is that to do Tempted by the fruit of another Tempted but the truth is discovered What's been going on Now that you have gone There's no other

Tempted by the fruit of another Tempted but the truth Just discovering Um, I was just listening to a Tuesday's episode Where you were talking about the olive oil That was going missing I was just wondering if anybody knew where Diddy was when that happened Love the show though

Good day, schooner and boy. This is for TMS. This is Preston from the East Coast of Canada, a.k.H. Heroes and Discord. I'm calling for what I'm going to call a clarification. Recent band that was recommended on the show and recent news items in the last couple months that you've mentioned have come up regarding my home province. So I figured I'd call in and help with a pronunciation. It is Newfoundland. Newfoundland. Three syllables, full on the first,

click on the second, full on the last. Newfoundland. Common issue, a big issue, big it I'd mention it. Love the show. In the menu of life,

make your main entree, frogpants.com. It's delicious. Delicious. Oh, foo, I burned the darn muffin.