The Morning Stream - TMS 2788: Ignore a Moose

Episode Date: March 4, 2025

Nipple Clips! Gandalf the High. Eye-Rony. Does my Tuesday make me look Fat? The Trivia Must Flow! Big Long Bongers. Second Floyd. BSGs: Bland, Seasonless Grits. No Cracker All Barrell. Robocop Sanders. TMS sponsored by KFC now in Texas. You Had Me at Fish Piss. Freeze Frame Ending. I like green faireeeeeeeeeeeeeeees. Dragons and Bastards with Amy and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Does a chicken even know what a nugget is? Do cows see milk in a bowl of cereal and wonder what the hell is going on? Well, we have no idea. But we do know this. You can support this show at patreon.com slash TMS right now. Coming up on the morning stream, nipple clips. Gandalf the high. Irony.

Does my Tuesday make me look fat? The trivia must flow. Big long bongers. Second Floyd. BSGs, bland, seasonless grits. No cracker. All barrel. Robocop.

Sanders. TMS sponsored by KFC, now in Texas. You had me at fish piss. Freeze frame ending. I don't like green fair. Reef. Dragons and bastards with Amy and more on this episode of the morning stream. No insult intended, but please turn off your beam into my soul. I guess I was just trying to defend my sex. The MorningStream. Let's do the Time Warp again. Hello, everybody. Welcome to TMS.

It's the morning stream for Tuesday, March 4th, 2025. I'm Scott Johnson. That guy right there is Brian. Hi, Brian. Bonjour, mon cher. Oh, you got some freaking new. Look at your shirt. You're celebrating this.

much more than I am. I got this Henley on. I mean, I'm wearing a shirt. This is all I'm doing. Yeah, it says New Orleans on it. You know what day it is. You tried to find beads. You're like in it. You're in it. You're probably going to eat like some kind of king cake later. Well, that's so are we. But certainly some jambola. Well, it really depends on what's going at trivia because we're doing trivia tonight. Oh, I wonder what is that to get any bigger or smaller when it's a thing like this, a celebratory thing? Because it takes place at a bar, it probably. will be busier and bigger. Although it might just be busy at the bar, may not be more people playing. It just might be more drunk, Scott. A bunch more drunks. T how it is around here for like

the break up the road, they get crazy on St. Patrick's Day. It's just insane in there. Oh, yeah. Yeah. We did that once. We'll never do that again. We're not going back there for that. No way. No, I if it weren't, if it weren't trivia, I wouldn't go. I don't like going to I don't like

going to bars for that sort of thing. just because they get crazy. New Year's Eve, no thanks. Maybe there was a time in my past, sure, that I would have liked, that I did do that stuff, but... Yeah. No. No, no, not interested anymore. Will it be more trivia people, or do you think it'll just be more bar-hopping types?

You know what I mean? Like, you're going to expect more competition? I don't know, because this isn't like a bar people go to to bar hop. It's not close to anything, so it's not like... Gotcha. Yeah, you know, like you might say, oh, we're going to go to eat dinner here and then we're going to go over here to this bar and drink. There we go to this other bar and drink. It's like, nope, this is a food hall that has a bar at one end of it.

Oh, it's that place I like. Every time you take pictures there, I like that place. Yeah, yeah. I love this. It's a great, great place, but so I think, I think it won't be as busy. I'm hoping, as if we're going to a real true bar. I hope so, too. And I hope that trivia just flows from you, all the correct.

answers, you know? That's what we hope. We always hope that when you go to Trivia night. Hey, guys, I hope so too. I'm always wondering to myself, you know, it's easy to get cynical and complain about what the internet is instead of what it used to be, you know? Sure. And people get nostalgic about stuff and why would the internet be any different. Of course, we all have feelings about the early days. And I was reminded of one of the things that I love about the internet, which is weird sites that you'd never think would exist, but they do. And I found one that I wanted to share here on the show. This website is called How Many Cigarettes.com.

All right. Should I click the link or? Go ahead. You can totally click it. There's nothing here to be hidden. The idea of it is, the first one that's going to come up as the Joker sequel because there's so many cigarettes in it. But the goal of the website is entirely to tell you how many cigarettes per second, per

minute, rather, CPM, there is in various films. And some are more than others. for example, Joker Fully Adieu from 2004, directed by Todd Phillips, there are 68 incidents of cigarette smoking or one cigarette every 2.03 minutes for an average rate of 0.493 CPM or cigarettes per minute. They also have this flashing thing that says real smoker movie, and I don't know if they mean that people are really smoking menthol cigarettes or what? Just the fact that this is like under, under one CPM or, you know, under, how is it?

It's funny, like, all right, if it's one cigarette every two minutes, then how can it be, oh, half a cigarette CPM? Yeah, that doesn't make sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. Just under half. And so the, and then they go, I don't know if they're doing this through some kind of image learning thing or if someone's doing this manually. Either way, it's impressive. They go and find every scene featuring a cigarette. And then they.

That's amazing. have a photo of the cigarette yeah now how they determine so he's smoking i think scenes have to be so it has to be a cut so if you smoke if you do two drags in the same shot i don't think that counts as another cigarette that's a different cigarette like yeah or a different cut at least at the very least and i don't you know i don't know what the rules are and they probably wrote them in the site somewhere but i mean i'm going to say that eraser head which is a couple down the way from this I'm going to say that the two pictures are of the same cigarette being smoked. Oh, interesting.

So maybe it is a, it might be machine learning and there's probably some level of air. It should be under American Werewolf, yeah, right under. Here it is. Oh, yeah, see, now that may be, that may be, I don't know, is it the same scene? It might be cut different. I don't know. I have no idea. I've seen a razor head near.

The second shot is a little dimmer, but it's the same person sitting in the same position, wearing the same clothes and the same thing is on the table. But there's a shadow on the wall And the first one, meaning time And you know, that's probably it It's like daytime cigarette, nighttime cigarette kind of thing Yep, aliens a good one. You got 11 cigarettes total, 0.094 CPM

They have every shot of everyone smoking everything here, which is pretty great. They quit smoking early in that movie. Yeah, they had other things going on. Yeah, a little Veronica Cartwright, final cigarette. That's right. You got busy. Lambert.

It was one I saw that was crazy. Twin Peaks has a ton. TV show, yeah, because they do the whole run of the TV show. But then obviously you have to figure that into the total run time. Yeah, exactly. And I assume that you do the new ones too, not just the old ones. Oh, my gosh, Ray Wise. It looks like this is just season one.

Oh, unless they, yeah, this seems like they stop at season one, episode 21. I could see that. Oh, Rope from 1948. Yeah. Yeah, what a great movie that is. Ten cigarettes, one cigarette every 8.1 minutes. And that's one where there's no cutaway to a different shot because that's all one continuous shot. Well, Hitchcock used some tricks to fake it.

Like he'd zoom in on somebody's jacket as they walked by so that they could do another shot. But that's such a cool, suspenseful film about this chest that's in the middle of the floor. this party and what's inside it. Yep. Love it. Anyway, every movie you've ever thought of, if there's cigarettes in them, you should see the Tarantino shit. It's insane. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. Or there's also this no cigarettes

list where these movies have zero cigarettes in them. Sure. And there's a lot of recognizable stuff. Like, I don't know if you knew this, but if you go watch the film Moneyball with Brad Pitt, no one smokes. You want to see Inception again. Nobody smokes wants at Inception. It's a shorter list.

Armouche film, uh, that has cigarettes in the title. What is that called? Oh, I don't know. Coffee and cigarettes or cigarettes and, it's like something in cigarettes or cigarettes and something else. I'd do a search just for cigarettes. Coffee and cigarettes. Coffee and cigarettes.

There you go. From 2003. Um, one cigarette every five minutes. Wow. Oh my gosh. That's a lot. Oh, wow. Stephen Wright.

Yeah. Yeah. Dude, he can put him away. That guy. Yeah. Bill Murray. Yeah. The reservoir dogs

What do they do for Cheech and Chong? So is it, is it, they include jazz cigarettes in this? Yeah, that's the question. Is it only menthol, you know, standard ass pack of cigarettes or can you count weed? Like, I don't know. And when like Cheech pulls out one of those big long bongers, does that count as anything? Yeah, no Cheech and Chung movie is not listed here. Yeah, that's pretty funny.

Yeah, anyway, I love when the internet does shit like this. And it's been too long since I found something dumb like this. So it made me happy. It's just dumb. Dumb information. Who needs this? Nobody, but here it is. You know, with some bad math.

I love it. Hey, I got a note. Someone calling me out a little bit. I'm going to go ahead and read this. This is from Blue Crucial. By the way, a quick note to people. Voicecast.org. Now accepts text messages as well as voice messages.

So you can use it for all your communication needs. It's super easy. That's what he did here. He says this. Listening to Scott talk about how frustrating it is to hear his mom and John argue about mishearing the word soup what soup isn't Scott the same guy who overheard explosive tip and fart gas

I'm thinking this heart of hearing thing might be genetic love the show though BC yeah so let's let's look at the difference between these two things I'm not going to claim I have the best hearing loud music and concerts and Walkman in the 80s

kind of put me where we all are now I think Brian even with all his concert goes probably similar similar ear state and Walkman Oh, like, Walkman glued to my head from ninth grade forward. Yeah, and guess what? Those things were not known for being very good at sound isolation or, like, they weren't protecting you. If you had it on full blast, it was just, that's what you did.

The decibels were all there. There was no limiter. There's no, like, oh, we should protect the kiddos's ears. Yeah, there's nothing in your phone or, I mean, in your Walkman, like in your phone, where you could say, control my volume, so it doesn't blast my head off or whatever. They didn't have that back then. So anyway, all of that said, these were things I heard like clear across parking lots and other busy places. This was my mom and John two feet away from each other.

So I don't think they're comparable situations, but I take his point. All right. I get it, poochershal. But I think a guy clear across a grocery store parking lot yelling fart gas at the top of his lungs. And my mom two feet away saying, soup, I think is just a different scenario. I thought the guy in the parking lot was squandered opportunity. The fart gas was in a car, wasn't it? I don't remember.

Somebody screaming. Yeah, screaming at me from his car. So you had car noise. Exactly, yeah. Radio, all that. Again, they just don't, these aren't comparable situations. Now, Kim, if you sent this email to Kim, she'd probably say, oh, yeah, there's been times where I said, Scott take the trash out. And Scott thought I said, you know, Scott find some cash out back or, you know.

But not listening is very different from not hearing. correct and both of our wives will attest to their being a uh a difference on that yeah those are not the same things folks yeah uh but anyway i appreciate the uh the astute observation they're blue crucial i like your name too it's kind of cool yeah claire uh butt nipple came in from when we took live calls one day and somebody just called in and said butt nipple and hung up yeah and we never had any idea of what there wasn't any feeling that that was wrong that sounded like butt nipple did I keep that if I kept that? Let me see if I still have that

Because we could test that today And just see if anything's changed, you know? Okay But nipple Can't wait to see what the The AI Transcript comes up with for that All I have here

Well All right For funsies we're going to play all my nipple clips You ready for this? Nipple clips I have a total of about 10 so let's just play each nipple clip unless they're too long here we go left nipple okay let's left nipple that's from a movie i think my nipples are killing me my nipples are killing me nipples for men

the feel of the feel of a plant pink nipple between my lips yeah also a movie but i don't remember what that was a film tech though gross uh that was from 2019 whatever that was all right here's another one yeah well some of us can't see in the dark you f*** nipple head what am i supposed to do I think that was Blade. Just Christopherson. Yeah, exactly. I think Blade. Yeah.

Who else? Back in my day, I had my own nipples. That was me. On the show. Big milk. Big nipples. Big life. I don't know what that is.

No idea. Nipples are at attention, General Malkovich, sir. Probably John Malkovich and being John Malkovich. Maybe. Don't remember that scene. Here's one. all your uncle's nipples. It's a king of the hill thing.

And then finally... Your nipples are dumb. Yeah, that's it. That's all I got. A lot of nipple files. That's true. They are. Yeah.

Oh, my nipples are super stupid. They're pointing every which way. Mostly there are any... Larry Stiles has four of them. Did you know that? Well, he's, you know. How hairy are his... Mark Wahlberg has three.

Tilda Swinton has three. Where's Mark Wahlberg's third? Where does he have it? Under one of his pecks, I believe. I believe you go a little bit lower on one of the... his pecks and there's a second nipple or a third nipple yeah does he go i think i found a third nipple does he say that when he sees it when he found it no i think i say a load of my third nipple for me there you go uh also got a phone call from uh jeff about floyd floyd the barber oh good

yeah we got any griffith show fan here so let's see what he has to say hey there barney and sarah this is uh jeff m from uh organ and i wanted to pipe in on the discussion about floyd from Andy Griffith. If you go deep into the IMDB trivia on that show, you notice that the actor actually had a stroke toward the end of the series. And a lot of the shots that he was in, he had to be sitting down because he lost the use of his legs. And some of them are pretty awkward. Like they're up close. You can't see his legs. So dig deep into that series, Scott, and go to the last few seasons to check out some interesting camera work for Floyd the Barber. All right, thanks. Question is, can I go straight to them and not be shocked by the color? Because everything's colorized then, you know? Right. I know that, yeah, they were one of those cusp TV shows that started black and white and did color. Yeah.

I'll watch for it, though. I mean, I'm just having to go on the background. And Floyd, after season one, after they get their second Floyd and he stays, there's a lot of Floyd. Floyd is. He's like a regular frequent frequent. I feel like I'm seeing more Floyd than Aunt B, honestly. Lots of A story Floyd or B story Floyd. Yeah, so Floyd is showing up in almost everything.

For a while there, it seemed like they were going to rely totally on Otis and jail. But that kind of, you know, flattens out after a while. There's not a lot of that. But lots of Floyd. So I'll probably notice when it happens, and that'll be a weird thing. Sean Bloom in our chat says that he says apologies for the TMI, but I have three nipples. Is anyone else in our chat want to admit that they have three nipples? it's totally fine if you do.

I'm just curious. Is it a higher percentage of people than I'm aware of, like a common thing for people to have a vestigial nipple? I don't know. Yeah, it's, yeah, Bobby says, not uncommon.

I mean, what's the relative, what's the percentage on that? Is it like 5% of people have a third nipple or, or a poly, what is it? Poly, is there a thing? No, I guess because even having two

would be Polly. Oh, yeah, two. It would be, yeah, that's true. What would you call, it'd be a few nipples instead of a couple nipples. Right. That's how you do it. Triple nipple. You guys got a triple nipple?

Google says one to six percent of people. Oh, that's probably about what I would expect, I guess. Polyphorus? That's her title. Polynipris. It's a good title. Might actually work. Good job, Claire.

Take those votes in. Yeah, get your votes in. One of her, one of her PG titles for a change. That's right. Rock to vote, you weirdos. Okay, also this call from Russell about you had made the comment the other day, Brian, that you thought Ignoramus should make a comeback as a term. Yeah, yeah, stand behind it.

Yeah, and this is what he has to say about that. Here's Russell in Chicago. Hello, the morning stream. This is Russell from Chicago. You guys recently mentioned ignoramus as the word of the day. Made me think of a time in the 90s at the Cracker Barrel with my family, as you do. We were playing the golf tea game where you were trying to clear the most golf tees on the little wooden board. And if you cleared the most teas, you looked on the back and you got your title, depending on how well you did.

Anyways, my older brother was doing it. He did not do a good job. And he flipped over the little wooden board and he said, ignore a moose. What's an ignora moose? and we all died laughing, still laughing, years later. Anyways, ignoramus, ignore a moose. Stay safe, everybody. I kind of prefer ignore a moose.

Ignore a moose, yeah, exactly. I also think it's a decent advice, you know? I mean, you know, it's a safety issue, right? I mean, you don't necessarily want to fully, you know, maybe the way to protect yourself from a moose is to ignore a moose. but keep an eye on where that moose. Don't be unaware of the moose. Yeah, you should know it's there,

but don't maybe make eye contact with it or something like that. Yeah. They're massive. Moose? They are. And don't, yeah, we have them in Estes Park all the time. We go up there and they're rooting. No, it's the, when they're making their noises and stuff.

They take over the golf course up in Estes Park. That's great. It's so cool. You know, like they're all over the place. they're just massive animals just so big. Rudding. Thank you, fastidious.

Yes, Redding. Rudding. That's cool. Redding. Their hornies, is Claire. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's pretty much it. Yeah.

Do you, can you describe this? I don't know what this golf tea game is. He's talking about a cracker barrel. So it's a triangle with four, three, two, one. So 10, 10 holes in it. Yeah. Each one is the size of the bottom of a golf tea. So you basically start out with all 10 or not.

of the 10 holes filled with a golf tea and you hop over them like checkers and when you hop over one you can take that one out and the object is to get all but one golf tea left okay and this is a small it's like a little thing it's a little small thing and they have them on every single table at cracker barrel and you know it is it is what you play with while you wait for them to um unseason your grits to deliver your bland, seasonless grits. Yeah, the BSGs, they call them. So I've been to one cracker barrel one time. I've never been.

Everybody grew up with it. You always hear people talking about, oh yeah, I went through all the time. I got the chicken fried steak, this and that. And I'm like, I went there once. I had lunch with a guy for work. And then I think I had, I don't know, meatloaf or some shit. And then I left.

Yeah. So I didn't play this game. Yeah. Yeah, you probably did something crazy, like had a conversation with the people at your table. Yeah, wild, right. We stopped there on the way to Nurtacular one year when we were doing the caravan, the multi-car caravans out there. And somebody said, let's do Cracker Barrel. It's like, well, you know, if nothing else, well, let's have full stomachs to make it to a Grand Junction to get gas.

That's true. And, yeah, it filled our stomachs. Maybe not with good food, but at least it filled their stomachs. I remember being all bloaty later in the office. I remember that. Probably, yeah. I think I've been three times to a cracker barrel, if that. Yeah, we're not.

Twice for sure, maybe a third time. Donoey likes going there, I know, because he says they have those bins full of DVDs and stuff, old DVDs. They do, yeah. I mean, he may just go in there and not even enter the restaurant part of the place. Yeah, just look at it. at the barrel. Which would be the smart thing to do. Yeah, I agree. He goes in for the barrel, enough for the cracker. No cracker, only barrel.

Full barrel. Take the barrel. Barrel, hold the cracker. That was great. Russell from Chicago, and a reminder to everybody, if you want to write in about anything, you can either write in or voice in at voicecast.com app slash TMS. Super easy, super fun. I think we've even

gotten more since I just said this. Sweet. Watch for more of those getting played this week. All right. We didn't get to do a lot of this yesterday, so we're going to do a lot of it today, and that is The News. It's time for the news, and it's brought to you by. Your frequent reminder that tickest to attend TMS Vegas are up and ready for you to nab at TMS.Vas right now. Gets them while they getting them remains good.

Yep. As Brian said yesterday, he will read what's put in front of him. And I changed it not at all today. Well, you corrected it here and then he used whatever original source for the, or you changed the one yesterday after I said something, but then used the original source, or did you just copy it from it? I just copied it from yesterday. I didn't tweak it at all. It's the same. Gotcha. But, yeah, I meant to, if that's any consolation, I actually forgot to change it. Hey.

Scot, Scotch, Scotch, Scotch. I love my scotch. Scotch is great. It's the Ron Burgundy. I read whatever's on the teleprompter. Scotch, Scotch, Scotch. So that deal with, I don't know anything about the behind the scenes about this, but why do they choose him to do all the interstitial voice stuff for the Oscars? It was, what's his name? Oh, I was, not Ron Swanson, Ron Burgundy, but why did they use? Oh, that's I met, Swanson, yeah. Yeah.

Why'd they use him, do you think? Nick Offerman? Because he's got a great freaking voice. I mean, I liked it. I just thought maybe was there something with him and Conan or something I didn't know about, some inside deal? Not to my knowledge. Yeah. Yeah, Nick Offerman?

Yeah. That's pretty cool, I thought. I liked it. It was better than just some boring-ass voice that you'll never know who that is. It's just like, let's have somebody we know. That's great. Exactly. And we got, we did our rewatch of the Oscars.

I think we're really close to where we picked up because we just finished the James Bond tribute, which as a James Bond fan, it was okay. I think, let's see, they had Lisa. doja cat and ray uh doing the vocals i thought and i've never heard of lisa or ray but um ray and doja cat were both a little pitchy dog like you to coin a uh american idol phrase a little pitchy and uh um yeah yeah okay so was it my since i haven't seen it has it mostly a musical thing and then like it is yeah they do they do some um video who's the let's see who do they have that does the actual like oh Hallie Berry comes out.

Who looks freaking amazing. She's Benjamin Buttoning is what she's doing. She's getting younger. She gets older. I don't know how she does it. She's amazing. And then she comes out and introduces it. And then they do like a video montage of all the best Bond moments.

And, of course, do you expect me to talk? No, Mr. Bot, I expect you to die. I kind of predict that. Yeah. And then they go into three songs. let's see doja did diamonds are forever um what were the other two i generally like her a lot by the way like i really cat i do too i think her voice her voice and her studio recordings i think is really something but you're saying she was a lot of pitch on the say so i think it's a great

skyfall right they did skyfall um started out great but ended really really pitchy um and then the first one was when you were young live and let die live and let die yeah and that was pretty good that was Lisa who I'd never heard of either but

just someone named Lisa that's their stage name just someone named Lisa she only goes by the name Lisa okay that's fine yeah I guess yeah and it's because Amazon Free Rangers asks why a bond tribute it's not like this year is a big milestone for bond no but they're you know it's a it's a rebuilding gear for the Bond franchise and with the with the with the

broccoli's selling to Amazon I think it's like a um a re a reload a reboot kind of I wondered about that but the Amazon broccoli the broccoli's letting go and Amazon getting full rights happened way too re it didn't feel like that time to do it happened no it happened before because they did they got a hold of all the movies on their service now I think it's did it now did it just recently get included are amended to include production of future films. I think so. I thought Amazon got full rights, but that was really,

I thought that was real recent, I thought. To, like that just the broccoli thing was real recent. I thought the broccoli thing was just like they just barely let go of full rights. Like they were, like in the last few weeks. In the last couple weeks. Yeah. So getting rights to play the stuff, I don't know about that. I mean, MGM Plus.

Yeah, that was, that was years ago when all that stuff. I think probably when we started doing them on the race. regular for film sack is when that happened. But to do new stuff, make new movies and TV shows potentially and all that, that's all on the offing. So I guess the timing is good because then they can have a tribute and also maybe there's a future for all that shit. I don't know. Now, not counting TV shows, can you name a really good Amazon produced movie? Like something that premiered on Prime.

I know that I could if I could remember it They have some stuff that's pretty good But this is the question If it's not memorable then did they Oh we did we recommend old the tender bar Or Randy did I think Oh shit I know they've got some decent OG movies

Let's see I just need to remind myself Prime I know I'm looking at a list of them right here Original films Do you want the list I'm looking at? Sure Oh, there you go. Poys a lot in this that I don't know. Yeah, wow.

Okay, thriller, zip, zip, zap, zip. Yeah, I don't, uh, wow. No, Manchester by the sea was, uh, okay. Oh, okay, that's a big one. That's a big one. Um, I got one of the Hotel Transylvania sequels. I didn't even know that. Um, what else?

uh i'm not sure negro was was uh was good yeah the big sick okay oh the big sick was real good it was really good yeah um okay i'm scrolling scrolling yeah this isn't really it's not they're not jumping out guys there's some obviously there are definitely some but um yeah but i could i could name more i could name more apple tv plus original film films than i could easily yeah or even. Oh, Sound of Metal. I watched that for soundography, I think. That was really good. What's his name? Riz Ahmed. Riz Ahmed. He's so great.

He's great. Yeah. I love him. Well, oh, you're cordially invited? What is that? Oh, that's new. That's the new Will Ferrell thing. That might be good. That's a comedy, though. Yeah, I don't know. You're right. There's a ton of these on here without a whole lot of jump out at me on this list. Oh, we'll see how Masters of the Universe Yeah, I don't think Not gonna be an Oscar contender We still have like a year and a half for that one

Almost I mean, I'm looking forward to it, but Sure That ain't on nobody's Oscar list I can tell you that much No, no Nope But I don't know like oh my dog

All the old knives One night off, what are these? Oh, some of these are all international Like Hindi and Oh, okay Stuff they bought French films Yeah, I don't know They're necessarily produced under them,

I don't think they're banging out the hits the way Netflix, Apple and others are doing right now. All right. Well, we'll see. We'll see how Amazon does with James Bond. I'd like the series. He's going to get his one-day delivery from Q on all of his gadgets now. I think they could do a banger series. That's what I want. Oh, the series would be good. Yeah, for years, the broccoli has been resisting a series. That's not like it hasn't been floated. The idea has been around forever, and they've just been obstinate. and now they're out of the picture

could you make a really good eight episode per season series that would be great and there's a million of these there's tons of like bonds you know even Amazon has a few of those reachers on prime I think

you know exactly yeah so anyway man T and I started watching a a new series last night that I cannot wait to recommendal but you're going to have to wait a week because I've we're not going to finish it by tomorrow

and series then not movie series yeah so freaking good really god yes really this this is going to be one i'm gonna if they don't if they don't eff it up in the last because we're four episodes in if they don't eff it up in the last four episodes then this is one i'm going to be talking about all of 2025 and people are going to get sick of it oh my lord i'm excited to hear about this um oh jason born series would be cool too oh jason born be great yeah yeah there's tons of bond likes what we're saying though, chat, is it'd be nice if there was a serious effort to make a great

bond series. That has never existed. They've never allowed it. It's just never been an option. But I'm here for it. Let's do it. That would be great. Yeah. Gandalf in the news. He's in trouble. Oh, good. Oh, no. I know. It's a bummer. He arrives to get off the green. Yeah.

He arrived just precisely when he meant to with the wrong amount of weed. Gandalf is accused of selling illegal, illegal medical cannabis in New Zealand the new home of James Cameron just moved there. Full citizen of New Zealand now.

Okay. He wanted the F out of here. Don't believe him. I can't really understand why he'd want to go to New Zealand. You know, why would you, why, why now? But he's going to miss the resurgence of Hollywood. Oh, you know. That's right.

I mean, you know. I can't think. Who did he pick? Was it Larry the Cable guy? John Voigt. John Voight, yeah. John Voight, Mel Gibson, and Slice Stallone, supposedly are going to make Hollywood. Harvey Weinstein. They're going to be.

Oh, I better stop. Oh, I just fell into it. Yeah, you fell. You dropped right in there like a hole in the road. Yep, exactly. Oops. Could resist. Anyway, this dude calls himself Gandalf and the police have shut down the alleged medicinal cannabis operation,

prompting an outpouring of support from prominent politicians and hundreds of people who rely on such products to ease their pain. Police raided the rural northern property of a 66-year-old Paul Smith, more widely known as Gandalf, last week, destroying plants and greenhouses and seizing cannabis products. Smith was charged with cultivating processing for supply and selling cannabis, which could carry an eight-year jail sentence in New Zealand and was summonsed to court. Now, we'd say summoned to court. Summonds. They say summonsed. Did he stop at every door, like, you know, expecting a warrant? You shall not.

Okay. All right, kitchen. You shall not. Nope. Okay, bedroom. You shall not pass. A cop, big ballrog trying to bust through that house. Just pushing him up. Yeah. I love that idea. Whipping a big old fire whip. Let me see the bedroom. That would be amazing.

Let's see. Medical cannabis has been legal in New Zealand since 2020. But patients are relying are reliant on gaining a doctor's prescription, obviously. It's just like here. So they rely on what they call quote unquote green fairy. to provide cheaper and more reliable and available weed on the hidden market. So he's filling that weed hole, that's what he's doing. He's probably happy that he's Gandalf and not Tinkerbell then. Oh, yeah.

He's going to be called a fairy. I'd rather be, I mean, a wizard and a fairy are pretty far off, but I'd rather be Gandalf than Tinkerbell. Sure. Of that. Thanks, Tinkerbell, for bringing my weed. Let's see. It says here, more than 50 protesters gathered outside of Hran.

Angry district court on Monday where Smith pleaded not guilty to the charges. This isn't an attack on one man. It's assault on hundreds of patients who rely on affordable relief, said protester, organizer, Pearl Schaumburg. Nice. Who was at a band meeting when she found out about all this? Anyway, who is a patient of Gandalfe and a conveyor or sorry, convener of Auckland Patients Group, an advocacy group pushing for cannabis law reform. So big changes to the weed world come into New Zealand potentially.

knows. I mean, they're the Green Isles, aren't they? Or isn't that one of their nicknames? Or am I thinking of someplace else? I mean, even, like, if they want to stick with the Lord of the Ring stuff, Gandalf, freaking Bilbo, they're all smoking some kind of weed weed. They should. They should only be able to smoke weed out of really lung pipes, too. That's right. And I know that Tolkien wasn't a New Zealander. I know that. So nobody write your emails in about Scott thinks that J.A.R. Tolkien comes from New Zealand. All right? I want to put a stop to that before. it happens. I know he was English, all right? Right, right, right. And yes, I know that Ireland is the green aisle, but I think there's a, there's a green aisles. Yeah, Emerald

owl, that's right. Ireland is the Emerald aisle. And that's green. Emerald's green names. Right? Still green. Yeah, but that's, that's Claire arguing that it's Ireland. Well, she's right, but what I'm saying is Emerald still means green. So take that Ireland. F off, Ireland. Take that. They're greenish. Exactly. It is, green-ish. Green-ish, right. Green-like. How about that?

Land of the Long White Cloud is one of New Zealand's nicknames. It's the Maori name. It's Eri-O-A-O-R-O-A-T-R-A-O-A-T-R-A. Somebody give me a pronunciation guide on that. A-O-T-E-A-R-A. Yeah, and then that's a long cloud, a weed, weed cloud. And now I don't have any vowels left in my scrabble tray. They're all gone.

They're done. Yeah. You're not going to win this round. I don't think. This round of Scrabble. Yeah. Nope. There's nothing but Z's in Q's.

Thanks a lot. KFC in the news. It will become Texas fried chicken in its HQ, move to a low-tax states. It's moving to Texas. They are flying away from Kentucky. They're out of there. People are not happy about this, by the way.

People are pissed. If you asked me, you know, is Kentucky fried chicken really based in Kentucky would have said probably not so it really it surprises me that they were but it would surprise me too because the first functioning KFC restaurant was here in Salt Lake City and freaking midvale was it really yeah oh funny and that makes no sense either right like why the hell was it here we still don't know well you can go to that location while you're in if you're ever in Salt Lake and you want to go a KFC the OG KFC you can do it

but why it's here I couldn't tell you do they still have like an original sign or anything like the old the big chicken kind of thing? I think the sign may have changed but well I haven't been there in a while they may have kept a lot of that that's a good point you would think they'd want to you know just keep all that but yeah

they got real big on taking the fried out of there yes and then 80s or 90s or whatever so yeah but they took the fried out of the name and then said well let's come out with a sandwich that's made a two fried chicken breasts yeah they didn't slow them down it's like there's just poor lard down

people's throat but we'll change the name. Right, well, we'll change the name, and we'll fool them. They won't realize how greasy and fatty it is when they're eating their double down. Yeah, their hearts will be breaded by the time they're 60, but at least we don't have fried in the name. Well, anyway, they're flying away from Kentucky. The shake-up was announced Tuesday by KFC's parent company, Yumb Brands, which is relocating the chain's U.S. operations to Plano, Texas. About 100 KFC employees, corporate employees will be relocated in the next six months, according to Yom Brands, which owns KFC, Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut.

many political leaders in Kentucky spoke out about the relocation of its corporate office from Louisville, Louisville, Kentucky to Texas. Andy Bershear, Bershear, Bishir, the governor of Kentucky, Bishir, Dr. Bishir. Dr. Bishir. Dr. Bishir of the P.Shaer of the D.Space 9 remote space station, governor of Kentucky, said he was disappointed by the news. Oh. Yeah. I'm disappointed by this decision and believe the company's founder should be too. Well, the company's founder's dead. you mean colonel sanders yeah he must mean young young brands is what he means I think they might be yeah but like well would be would be I believe the company's founder would be too so he believes the colonel would oh the colonel be pissed

he'd he'd loosen his bowler tie and cause some I'm untieing this knot that's been in my neck all these years uh the mayor of greenberg is not happy where are my glasses I can't see Anyway Yeah

Yum Brands was originally a PepsiCo thing Right I think that's right Fitch me a switch From the shed Yeah He's old school Yeah

Yeah Best one was Norm MacDonald He was the best KFC guy He was the best Yeah Him and Like Gaffigan

Gaffigan was good Hammond was good It was the Who they had a woman Colonel too Yeah who was that Was it Why can't I think

Justin Janney. No, I can't remember who was. Oh, actually, it's not, I can't think of her name. She's from that sing show. Was it Reba McIntyre? Jane Lynch is what I'm thinking of. Was it Jane Lynch? Jane Lynch, might have been Jane Lynch. Let's see here. That singing show, you know. The one about singing. It was Reba McIntyre. Billy Zane, Reba McIntyre, Rob Riggle. Dolph Ziegler. yeah they got they got hammond uh hammond in there what's his name ray leota was darrell hammond norm macdonald george hamilton i remember that was good i'd love that whole run that was awesome peter weller jason alexander peter weller peter weller yeah i bopur murpy that randy quade sean ashton really i don't remember that Sean asson's perfect that's perfect Fat little Sean Ashton

Yeah, fat little Sean Aston with a mustache And a bowler hat Or whatever the hell he were Yeah, right I guess he didn't wear a hat, did he? Did the current wear a hat? No, just had his white hair.

Yeah, it's kind of a hat. It's kind of a hair hat. It's kind of a hair hat. When you, you know, it's funny, when you see the original shot of Harlan Sanders And then you look at Daryl Hammond's Impression, it's freaking spot on. Oh, no, it's insane.

How much he looks like. Like, Norm MacDonald looks like it looks like Norm in a costume. It looks like Norman a costume here. I'm going to give you the sheet because these are great. Which is great, by the way. It's great that it's norm in a costume, not complaining. Yes. But if you really want to nail it,

it should be. Yeah. Jason Alexander looks pretty good too. George Hamilton's pretty dumb funny. Oh, Rob Lowe was too, wasn't he? Is that Rob Lowe on the bottom right? Yes, that's Rob Lowe. Yeah. Let's see, yeah, bottom right. Rob Wrigal is great.

I like the Jason Alexander a lot. I don't know why I didn't expect that one. I forgot about that one. Vincent Carthizer from Mad Men. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Billy Zane was the gold one. Oh, that's Zane, dude, no way.

Yeah. That's great. Ray Leota. I'd put this in top 10 ad campaign switcheroos of all time. It's so good. Because you, yeah, you were always looking forward to trying to figure it out before you had to look it up, right? Because it's not like they would come out and say, oh, the Peter Weller one. Yeah.

If you scroll down on that page or I can send you the image when we do that. Let's see. I'm scrolling right now. Peter Weller, where is he? 17, if you're counting. I am counting. That says the numbers. There it is.

Oh, my gosh. He really did this. Apparently he really did. Oh, I need to see this. He made a Robocop. Robocop Sanders, man. It's got to be on YouTube. Has to be.

Holy shit. Missed it entirely. Did not see that one. No. Who's Craig Fleming? No idea. All right. Mario Lopez.

I remember that for the dating one, the 2020. It was the, yeah, telemundo kind of thing. They did the mountain? Oh, is that who that was? Okay. Yeah, of course. A guy from Game of Thrones, man. Yeah.

Oh, that's hilarious. I love how they. They kept his whole beard, just dyed the center white. That's wild to me. Awesome. Oh, and they put Sean Esten in a little football outfit like Rudy. That's cute. I like that.

And they only had the one lady, right? They only had the one lady, yeah. Do you want the Robocop? Yeah, do you have a commercial? Yep. Let's put it in. Coming to you right now. Let's stick it in there.

Let's see what we get. This shouldn't get. 30 seconds long. Oh, that's worth it. Yeah. Let's do that. And now a message from our sponsor, KFC. There we go.

Now YouTube can't do anything about it. No, I'm sure they won't. I'm sure those robots will totally not do anything. Yeah, I totally heard me do that. They're like, okay, I guess that. That settles that. Good there. Good job, TMS.

Here you go. Good old Sanders. Your Kentucky fried chicken is delicious. What's the secret recipe? If I told you, I'd have to kill you. Ha, ha, ha, ha. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha the colonel's secret gubernstein i think from portlandia in there

i don't know i don't know that i've never seen portlandia i should see that uh yeah you know i avoided portlandia i shouldn't say i avoided it the reason i never saw portlandia is it always it struck me as i would be very uncomfortable all the time it's one of those It is uncomfortable comedy, which is like, I mean, that's a hallmark of Fred Armisen's stuff. Got to be in the right, dude. Which I love, but is also, you've got to be in the right frame of mind for it. It's like the, like the Tim Robinson, I think you should leave stuff. It's, it's uncomfortable and funny also because it's uncomfortable.

Like you're laughing to bring back some of your comfort. That's funny because I love. his stuff. So maybe I should just quit being weird and just watch Portlandia. Yeah. Sometimes it works for me. Depends on my mood, I suppose. Yeah.

I don't know who that is. Hold on. Oh, Ray Leota in that one. Okay. Ray Leota. Wild. Rob Regal just is too handsome and... The late, great.

Rugged. Ray Leota, yeah. Yeah. Too much smoking. Bobby says Tim Robinson is another league of discomfort. So you're saying that between Portlandia, they're not on the same level of discomfort. Oh. I think you are right.

See, that's weird because I find the one more watchable and Portlandia every time I would try. I would just kind of go, so cringy, I can't do it. It's not that I don't think it's good. I know it was a big hit and everything, but I just, I don't know. Got to be in the right mood, I think. That was actually half the Oscars this year were hard for me to watch. I had to mute. I had to mute most of Adrian Brody's speech.

I couldn't do it. Did you really? Yeah. The moment he went, I've been up here before. playing me off like all that I went oh shit yeah yeah here there's something something's coming you had me when you once why didn't they they really should have cut to john lithgo uh during uh azurean brodie's speech because that's what they said they would do yeah and that would have made it a lot better they should have done that that would have helped that would have made me laugh

but yeah i couldn't do that and i couldn't almost every speech bug oh the girl's singing well she wouldn't stop singing uh oh right yes they got up there and the person oh i love that one well was that was that that um that was a wicked uh no it was from the me uh whatever it was yeah yeah that's sing that song one right and uh that's right because it was the it was the saldanya uh sung natha selina gomez one and she starts singing and the guys like kind of like all right cool we're just doing one verse and then she keeps going and he's like well i guess i can't leave her hanging oh we're really going for another verse here oh yeah she'd really like it felt like she had taken the good stuff before the event started is what it's

felt like to me yeah for sure she was in a different planet so that was super cringy my favorite moment of uh not the rules don't apply to everybody the same was easily when uh the sound they give best sound to the dune two guys best sound work they come up they start doing their speech they don't just get played off they have their sound cut off and the guy's still talking on the microphone. They brought up like four guys to talk. Yeah, you got to... Nothing's coming out of it, and they cut him off,

so they cut the sound of the sound guys. Right. Amazing. Amazing. Irony. Highest level of irony. Brian, we're going to take a break. Speaking of irony, when we come back from the irony, we're going to hang out with Amy.

She's going to tell us what we should be reading. Yeah, I think that's a good thing. We all need to be reading. So stick around for that. Before that, though, Brian right here with his song in the middle. What do you got? Yeah, you know, I'm obviously a big fan of songs and lyrics and music. And, you know, there's a lot of times that I share the sentiment of the artist that is doing the music and, you know, whatever they're singing, I'm in there for it.

Not the case with a band called Hearts Apart. Let me see. Hearts Apart. Let me find my information. about this because they released a brand new EP called Summer Bummer via epidemic records. Oh my.

And if that, these guys are from Italy. That explains. There's your problem. We'll see them in a Chinese restaurant. No, they'll never go to PF Chang. P.F. Chang's. Yeah, never. Here's a bunch of guys he'll never see it at a P.F. Chang's. This is

as they describe it, a D.P. that blends punk rock, melancholy, and pure energy. comes out or actually came out this last Friday via epidemic records and it's really, really good. Their song, I don't agree with it. It's called I Hate the Summer.

Here's Hearts Apart. I hate the summer. When the sky's so blue. I hate the summer. I hate the summer Than I think of you Oh no I hate the summer

When the sky's so blue I hate the summer I feel so good I hate the summer Then I think of you Oh no The games in the sun The dreams and the fun

What body is so dead The ways in the sin My mind is so trapped, the loft we swept, and the summer we had all gone a day. I hate the summer! When the sky is so blue, I hate the summer, and I feel so good. I hate the summer! Let I think of you, oh no! I hate the summer!

When the sky is so blue, I hate the summer, I feel so good. I hate the summer Then I think of you or no I hate the summer When this sky's so blue I've been so good I hate the summer They think of you

I know I hate the summer When this gets so blue And I feel so good They're in the summer They think I knew I know I know

Conversation is not Conversation is neither required nor desired. Oh, I didn't mean to say that. me about that song again. Sure. That is I Hate the Summer by Hearts Apart from their brand new EP called Summer Bummer just came out Friday. Sorry, I cut you off. I called Amy by accident. It's my fault. Oh, okay. Sorry, tell me that name one more time. Sure. The band is Hearts Apart from Italy. The EP is called Summer Bummer. That song is I Hate the Summer. Yeah, I was in the wrong group. D. That'll teach me. All right. Well, let's see if she's confused. She may have gotten two calls

and wondered why the hell she did. Uh, probably. Here we're go one of the things that i enjoy also is reading that music means amy's here hello amy thanks for being here how the heck are you hello oh hi enjoy your song for a minute don't you yeah you really did it yeah it was nice it's a jaunt i do that i do that every time you just guys you know you guys haven't seen me because you know i hadn't had my video on for a while sure it's been a while well it's nice to see you how the heck are you you doing a all right? I'm doing okay. I am all right. That's good. I like the, uh, is that, is that, what's the name of your friend on your shoulder there? Oh, yeah, this is Lavender over here. Say

hello. Oh, my gosh. Is Chuck, who's back there running that thing? How are you doing this magic? Chuck is not in here. I'll spoil the, uh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the creature on, uh, I love it. Is this thing have a name? Yeah, his name is Lavender. Oh, hello. It's cute. I'm a lavender. Look, you guys. It's like our own little puppet there. He can't, uh, yeah.

He's a very, he needs a bang trim there. He's like a bombastic bat. See a bat? No, I'm a dragon. Oh, dragon, okay. Oh, dragons. All right. I like dragons.

Dragons are cool. I'm here to help out with one of today's books. Oh, good. Fantastic. Dragon related, I'm guessing is what's going on there. Yes. Okay. All right.

Well, I'm looking forward to that. Yeah. So, Lavender, do you mind if I, if I introduce it? No, you go ahead. Okay. So as you guys probably remember several months ago, I talked about my nephew who was battling with stage four kidney cancer. And so this past week on Friday, actually, he got to ring the bell. So he is currently done with treatment.

And Scott actually sent you in the litany of things. I sent you. I sent you the picture of there he is. Yeah, there he is right there. Oh, that's so cool. That's great. How's he, how's he feeling in general? He's doing good. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, of course, he was, it's funny that they have him do this big, like, celebratory thing when right after they've just had a treatment because Brian, as I'm sure, you remember from, you know, when Tina went through her mess, like, it's exhausting and you feel like crap.

And the last thing you want to do is, like, stand there and have everybody. sing to you and be highly and happy, but, you know, yeah. She had the energy enough to ring the bell and she rang the crap out of it, but she, uh, yeah, she, um, she actually went on that one on her own. There was some reason I couldn't go with her to that last, which I'm really bummed about. I couldn't go with her to that. You know what? I only went with her to one of the radiation treatments because it was across town. She's like, no, I'm not going to make you drive me there. I'm just going to go. I went with her to most of her, um, uh, chemo. Maybe all of her chemo.

but not to the one, not to the one across town. No, heck with that. Heck with that, yeah. It was her telling me not to go. It was not me saying, you know what? You go on ahead. It was her telling me not to go with her.

He's like, I can't be bothered, honey. I can't go? I love this picture. Can I say one thing real quick? This looks like a bit thing I would appreciate. He's got a yacht rock revive thing. Oh, look at that. Yacht Rock,

and Yacht Rock Review. I noticed that too. I was like, Brian is going to love the shirt that Ben is wearing in that. That is a band that I interviewed for Coverville, and the guy said, I'm totally, I'm going to put you on the list to get into our concert when we're in Denver. And I confirmed the week before. And they said, yep, and we showed up at the venue, and we weren't on the list. Then they made it up to us.

They sent us a huge box of swag. And then they made sure to put us on the list next time. So we were, we absolutely were on the list the next time. Cool. Well, that's good. That's good. But at least they made up for it. Well, that's awesome.

Congrats to him from all of us when you talk to him next. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's, apparently he's, he's doing really good. We're looking forward to, you know, seeing him back with a, with a head of hair.

And, you know, he's going to have to get scans every, you know, three months or so, I think, for the next, you know, a few years. But, but, yeah, all in all, really, really positive. So. Good, good. In light of that is our first book that I have. This is actually something that I learned about through TikTok. But this author named Christopher Gould, like G-U-H-L, he is a fantasy writer, and he had, you know, contracted with his publisher to make, you know, this whole series of, you know, epic fantasy books. And then his son, who was two years old, was diagnosed with acute, like, lymphoblastic leukemia.

Does not sound good, whatever that is. No, sounds terrible, right? And so he, of course, had to kind of abandon the series that he was currently working on. But what he did was he found a way to encourage his son. also, you know, make his publisher happy at the same time. So he wrote this little fantasy novella that was inspired by his son's cancer journey. And the name of the book is the boy, a dragon, and the cave of shadow. So I'll, uh, there is, there is not currently an audio book for this. So I invited Lavender here to, uh, to help me out with, uh, just a little,

little small sample reading here. So you ready? Lavender, you? Let's do it. I love it. Yeah, I was born, ready. Okay, good. All right.

Here we go. In a cave beneath a mountain where the darkness holds the light at bay, a young boy sat on a rock and leaned back, resting his head against the cold stone wall. How did I get here? The child wondered, looking at the dark, damp surroundings. A drop of water fell. in the distance, the plink echoing against the cave's walls. Did I do something wrong? No, a small creature answered, you did nothing wrong at all. The boy jumped, startled at the sound.

He searched for its source in the darkness. Who's there? He asked. Why, it's me, the creature said, Georgie. And your name is Liam. Is that correct? A ball of flame erupted. flashing in the darkness. Liam jumped back, cowering against the wall. Yes, he said, meekly. The shivering boy scrunched into a ball, wrapping his arms around his legs and tucking his head down. I don't feel good, Liam finally said. I know. It's not your fault. You must know that. It's not anyone's fault at all, really. but this happened and that means you're here

and seen thank you I like that that's really nice I hope it gets an audio treatment you should offer to be the voice if you don't admit to you I mean he's

he's got a pretty good following I am sure that they've already got somebody in there but I'll be glad to reach out to him and see if that's something they would want but thanks for your assistance there Lavender well you do too much

welcome. Do you want to stick around or are you ready to head out? No, I'm comfortable. It's okay. I just sit there quietly and enjoy the rest of the show. It's fantastic. Yes. And for the audio listeners, I have a purple dragon on my shoulder who is, it's a puppet talking to me. Yeah, we want to make sure everybody knows that wasn't just you talking to some secret personality. Is that like the bell jar or anything? No, no, no. Right. Yeah. It's an actual entity. anyway yeah cool so anyway it's it like i say it's a it's a really short little read it's a novella so um it's quick it reads a bit like a d and d one shot uh and it's a it's an absolutely beautiful metaphor for a child fighting cancer you know i mean like i can't i can't imagine a

better metaphor than like suddenly being in a dark cave that's scary and you don't feel good right like I think it's perfect so so yeah I I think that's a it's a good read and it's I mean it's good for anyone to read you know particularly anybody who's had a loved one go through anything like that but definitely anybody who has experience with like pediatric cancer it's a good choice so cool so but yay we're very we're very happy for Ben we're excited and hope that all his scans show him to be cancer free and we're we're excited for him yeah i am too nobody nobody that young should have to do with something this hard i hate that for him i agree i agree it's like i keep saying i'm like this poor kid he was just minding his own business being 17 um and playing like lots of roblocks

like his uh his handle on roblocks i think is four boss and so like in lots of lots of the pictures his mom has taken and stuff he's like holding up four fingers and so so anyway Um, but yeah, uh, so go check that out. It's boy, uh, excuse me, the boy, a dragon and the cave of shadow. Nice. I'm interested. I want to learn more about this cave. I like a cave of shadow. Yeah. Although I think it's metaphoric for probably his cancer. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. But again, like, you know, it's like I say, it reads like a D&D one shot. So, you know, you find yucky stuff in a cave. It doesn't mean it's not a good, uh, adventure. And you get through it. Yeah.

Yeah. That's the whole idea is you figure out how to do the right roles and do the best you can and hopefully come out, leveled up. That's kind of where your nephew's at. Sounds very cool. Awesome. All right. What else you got for us today?

I see a few more things. All right. So, yes, I've got another thing for you. So one of the things I sent you a really blast from the past old picture of me when I did the breast cancer three-day walk wearing my. extra life radio t-shirt. That's awesome.

That's from like 2009, I think. Yeah, that's got to be 0-809, somewhere in that range, right? That's wild. Wow. You got to really, the pink is unbelievably awesome match with that shirt. That's great. Oh, yeah. Everything's all pink.

Yeah. Yeah. Everything is like everything looks like it's been sprayed with peptobismol when you go on those walks. But yeah. So, and that's a wig. I wasn't, I wasn't brave enough to, you know, do my hair in crazy vivid colors yet then. But, yeah.

It's kind of got a, what's that, who's that lady in the, in the Phyllis Diller? I get in the Phyllis Diller vibe. Definitely a Phyllis Diller vibe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I can see it. I can see it. That's great.

Love that. Ask your grandparents. All right. Yeah. Kids, ask your, yeah, ask your weird uncle. So, all right, next, the next book, though, that I have. have is a little bit more on the serious side. You know, last month we did, we did the Hells Bells, had a little spicy romance there

for any my ladies who needed a little, little spicy in there. This one, this one is a little more, you know, serious, but also, it's also good and funny. So you can go ahead and play this clip. Here we go. At the height of the long wet summer of the 77th year of Sendovani, the thief-maker of Camor paid a sudden and unannounced visit to the eyeless priest at the temple of Perilandro, desperately hoping to sell him the Lamora boy. Have I got a deal for you?

The thief-maker began. Another deal like Carlo and Galdow maybe, said the eyeless priest. I've still got my hands full training those giggling idiots out of every bad habit they picked up from you and replacing them with the bad habits I need. Now, Chains, I told you they were ship-flinging little monkeys when we made the deal. Everything you asked me to look for after I sold you Carlo and Galdow. Everything you liked so much about Sabbatha. He's comori but a mongrel.

He's got larceny in his heart, sure as the seas full of fish piss. And I can even let you have him at a discount. You'll pardon me. If the suggestion that the minuscule black turnip you call a heart is suddenly overflowing with generosity toward me leaves me wanting to arm myself and put my back against a wall Ah, I've tasted that flavor of sarcasm before, chains. That's the sort you spit out as a bargaining posture.

Is it really so hard to say that you're interested? Suppose I'm willing to spend about three coppers and a bowl of piss for a mystery boy, but you'll still need to convince me that you deserve the bowl of piss. What's the boy's problem? His problem is that if I can't sell him to you, I'm going to have to slit his throat and throw him in the bay. You had me at eyeless priest and fish piss. Right, right.

I was going to say that feels like what would have grabbed you. Yeah, oh, totally. So this book is called The Lies of Lachlomora. And it is really funny. Like you heard there, this author's turn a phrase by way, it's by Scott Lynch. And his turn of phrase is so good. It's like, you know, and listening to it on audiobook is fantastic, right? Because this guy has this very sort of, you know, just rich British accent, right?

And so you're listening to this guy say things like, you know, like, I might pay you a bowl of piss but you'd have to show me that you deserve the bowl of piss you know um and like i at some point he says you know i paid you know everything but my mother's kneecaps for that you know it's things like that like the turn of phrase is just so so good and it just rolls right off um but yeah imagine imagine oliver twist meets the godfather is a bit what this is like so um There's what we heard there was an exchange between the thief maker of Camor talking with the eyeless priest, whose name is Chains, and, you know, trying to sell him this boy. And he's, he is extremely gifted at the art of being a thief, but he maybe doesn't have as much regard for the rules of. such things like we don't rob the local watch because they come after us if they if we do that and

you know we don't bring attention to ourselves and then lock goes and causes a pub to burn down you know things like that um so it's uh it's it's it's really funny and it's told sort of non linearly so you get you get more of his background as a boy at the same time that you're getting some of his exploits when he's fully grown. And it's great. And like I said,

there's a whole like element of, you know, oh, there's the coper who they have to like go and kiss his ring. And, you know, there's a very elaborate descriptions of torture in there. So if that, If you're squeamish about that kind of thing, you know, maybe be a little careful there.

But I think it's, and I am, but but it's worth it. It's a really, really good read. And it's, you're just really invested in what happens to these characters and how they turn out and stuff. So there's, there's a scene where there's one character whose name is bug. Like, that's all you know is his name is bug. and um never trust anyone named bug it's always trouble right like i mean so you know and and they're everybody's worried about him but the whole time he was fine and you know but uh i you know i won't spoil why but because it's very it's very very funny um but yeah i mean as i say it's a it's a really

fun read um i love that i recommend just love a british like a like a pissy british breed, you know? Yeah. I don't know what it is. Just, we'll get me every time. You could tell me this book was about picking flowers at midnight. And I'd say, okay, I'll listen to it. That's great. Sounds fantastic. Yeah. I mean, like when he finally, you know, he gets, he gets in with chains and he starts sort of, he's been living in a graveyard. So the thief, the thief trainer, the thief maker. That's right. The thief maker sort of trains these boys and they live in the graveyard. And they, I mean, they live off scratch. Crapes. Basically, if they work, i.e. if they steal stuff that can be sold and is worth something and they're successful at it, then they eat. Otherwise, not so much and they get punished. So it's very rough. But the alternative is they get sold to like slave traders or, you know, as he said, get their throats cut and thrown in the bay, which is all very dark. But it's done with like, that lighthearted tone, right? Like, I mean, it's weird to say that about about like killing orphans, but I mean, what can I say? That's how this book is written. Sure.

So, yeah, I mean, and so he takes him through sort of a, oh, you know, here's how to set a place setting and all this. And the kid doesn't understand, you know, why do I need to know this? And he says, you are going to know everything. You're going to know how to speak all these different language. is you're going to know like what the etiquette is in all these different places because it makes you a more effective thief. And, um, and it's, it's really, it's really cool. And, and, and it's fun to, like I say, the nonlinear aspect of it is really kind of fun. Because you get to,

you get to see like, okay, like here's where he ends up. Um, and then, oh, right. Like in, in small pieces, here's how we got there. So I don't want to speak for authors, but it always sounds hard to me, that non-linear approach. Totally. Yeah. Because you have to know, all right, here's the story I want to tell. Putting it in this order would make it more, like there'd be better reveals, more interesting reveals if I put things in this order. Yeah. It just seems like it's hard to balance, right? I mean, I'm sure that every author is a bit different, but I kind of have to imagine that, you know, that they have a, they have kind of an outline of how the linear story goes and then as it as it sort of unfolds you know they realize like oh this will be more compelling

if I tell this part of it this way yeah yeah that's super interesting well I'm going to check it out again that is the lies of Loch Mora a gentleman a gentleman bastard sequence that's the subtitle on this thing I love that the gentleman bastard series it says it says sequence on Amazon's listing look at this I'll show you Right here. See? Right there. Oh, okay. I didn't make that up. That's what it says on the page. It's from 2007, and it is available now in all forms.

Oh, it's cheap, too. Get a paperback for $5.00. Kindle for $3.99. It's a good deal. Yeah. Go check it out. I kind of want to check out as other stuff, too. For some reason, my browser is being real dumb. I can't get things to click. Anyway, well, that's fantastic. Amy, always a pleasure having you on. Anything else you want to mention before we blow out of here? Yes, we still have 12 spots available for the video game tournament. So if you want to get in there, go ahead and sign up. All the Dietz are in the Discord, the TMS Vegas Discord. And if you can't find it or whatever, feel free to, you know, message me or Chuck.

It's linked to TMS.orgas as well. So you can get right to it. Yep. Go check it out. It's signed up. And a reminder, it is arcade games. are free to play. This isn't some kind of weird, like, here's a controller. I hope you know Call of Duty. We're not doing that. This is like classic stuff. Yeah. Classic. Yeah. Play golf.

Yeah. Old school. Yeah. If you know how to play Tron, pick Brian as your first opponent or however it works out. I promise he's... I dare you to play me in Gallagher. She's very good at Gallagher. It is. Yeah. I would not play you in Gallagher. I would not play Brian again in Tron. and I would not play Kathy in Ms. Packett. Oh, in anything. Maybe anything. Well, for real, though.

Yeah. No, CheesyG is the is the one to beat for sure. She is. Like, everybody, last year, everyone who came up to find out who their next matchup was, and I said, oh, it's Kathy. They were like, oh, crap.

Not because they didn't want to play with her. They just knew that, like, they were about to get their butt kit. Yeah. And you guys have control over the seating. So you know. who might be playing against cheesy G this year. Yeah. Yes.

Well, yeah. And we are, we are trying as much as possible to seed it according to how the bracket ended up last year. So that, you know, it's like last year it was just kind of, eh, I just kind of threw names in there and it, you know, spit out a bracket and I just did it. So this year, we've actually got more of a little bit of an eye toward, you know, like rankings and, you know, that kind of thing. I was able to look at last year and how people did, how far they made it and that sort of thing. Kind of based on that. That's great.

Yeah. I mean, just like loosely be like, okay, like Logan was first, Kathy was second. So one, two, then go from there. Last year is the shittiest year on record for me. So I should, I'm really going to try harder this year. Last year I was out in the second round, I think. It's terrible. Terrible.

That was me the first round. I was out, I was out like almost immediately. But it was because I played one of those, I think it was like the superhero fighting game. I'm not terrible I'm not terrible at fighting games I just if you don't if you don't know all the combos The combos yeah

Yeah yeah If you don't know how to do it You're just like firing away And hoping you don't die It had a very janky stick too There was some problems with that thing In general But that's part of the fun

You never want a janky stick No you don't want a janky stick But sometimes you're getting in a machine With a bad button or something It's just the way of it And so it's half the fun is like, I beat you with a bad button. Take that jerk, you know, in a nice way.

Right. Yeah. In a nice way, of course. Like that badge of honor, you know, like Jack White says he, he always wants a guitar that makes him fight a little bit. Oh, I love that. Same, same, same. I like that. He says, I like Jack White a lot.

What a very Jack White thing to say, Joe. Yeah, for real. Yeah, Scott, it's okay. You wouldn't play me in GALGA because I would not play you in Joust because I suck Jouse. Yeah, don't play me in Jous or in huge trouble. So just know, I got that in my back pocket. it, but Tron, Gallagher, I'm effed.

I can't do those games. Excellent. Well, it's always good having you. Tell Chuck High, I know he's like around somewhere, but we love him. We'll do. We'll do. Oh, I also sent you some videos so you can see Chuck's crazy beard. He's got happening right now.

Oh, yeah. Let's take a look at this up close. I got a little screen cap of it. Look at that. That's awesome. Look at that. Dang. I love it.

He looks like he needs to get up and teach a class on English literature. Does he have a jacket with leather patches on the elbows? He has a tweed jacket. I don't think they have patches on the elbows. I hope he does look very professorial. I hope he gets tenure. I hope, you know, the department realizes how important he is to English history. And can't wait to be in his presence in very little time.

He wears it very well. Indeed. Have a fantastic one. And we will see you soon. And do tell your nephew, we're really proud of him. I think that's so awesome. I definitely, definitely will. All right, say goodbye, Lavender.

Goodbye. See you later, bye. Bye. All right. Put that back in its thing. There we go. Turn that off. All right, everybody.

We did it. We're at the end of the show. We don't really have anything else to mention here, except it is important that you grab your tickets to TMS, Vegas. We have some left, and they are going quick, though. So I'm a little nervous that there's always people that want to just kind of wait until they get the right flight or whatever, whatever, and I totally get it.

I know we have some international. We have international friends that are like, I don't know if I'm coming down there right now. Prices are weird and tariffs and all this. And I get it. I totally get it. So as a result, though, because so many people wait closer to the thing, I just always worry you're not going to get them.

So go get them now. Get them while they're hot. TMS. At least, I do it. And while you're there, sign up for the video game tournament and put your name on the list.

for the mini-golf set up. Take a look through the board games. I mean, there's all that stuff to do right there. Yep, get in there, make it happen. It's you who does it. Okay, that's it for today's show. We're out of here. We've got to play a song, though.

A reminder that all our stuff, including how to contact us, everything else, can be found easily and quickly over the internet at frogpants.com slash TMS. Brian, what song are we playing? We are sending one out to Dave from Toledo. He says, it's been a wild ride having the TMS family. in my ear holes for the past decade.

You guys have kept me sane while working in manufacturing and not doing geek stuff that I truly love. Over the last year, I managed to move to machining and out of assembly, which is a big deal for anyone in the big three when you only have 12 years seniority. For the ripe age of life, the universe

and everything, happy birthday. I'd ask that the task, I mean cover master, spin up an electronic a funk song of his choosing. Never stop being amused by life and never stop being amuse to life. It's self-signed, Dave from Toledo. Wow.

Happy birthday, man. 42, we always get those here. They're always a big deal for everybody and always happy to celebrate that one. I wish I could have mine over again. That'd be great. Exactly. That'd be a great one. You send me down a whole big rabbit hole, Dave, with electronic funk band.

Start off with one of my favorites, Cromio, who, to my knowledge, only does one cover. And I think we've already played it on this show. It's their cover of the Eagles. I can't tell you why. which is not very electro-funk, sadly, but that sent me over to BreakBot and to Marvel Age. No, Marvel Something.

I can't remember the full name of them. And then I found Meyer Hawthorne. And Meyer Hawthorne, well, great. This works out perfectly. Did a whole album in 2011 called Impressions, which is all covers. They even does a cover of Cromio on that album. From the album Impressions or the EP Impressions, here's Meyer Hawthorne and his cover of ELO's Mr. Blue Sky.

There ain't a cloud inside It stopped raining Everybody's in the play And don't you know It's a beautiful new day Hey Burning down the avenue See how the sun shines

brightly in the city On the streets where I once was Pitted Mr. Blue Sky is living here today Hey Mr Blue Sky Do you sell us why Have you had a

Highway for so long Where did we go wrong? This blue sky Could tell us why You had to hide away For so long Where did we go wrong?

Hey you with the pretty face Welcome to the human race Celebration Mr. Blue Skies out there waiting And today is the day we've waited for Whoa Mr Blue Sky Please tell us why

You had to hide away for so long Where did we go on Hey there Mr. Blue We're so pleased to be with you Look around, see what you do Everybody sponsors to you Hey there, Mr. Blue Sky You're so pleased to be with you

Look around, see what you do Good, everybody smiles at you I'm going to be able to be. Wear them loud and proud, friend, be large and in charge. You're always welcome at frogpants.com. I scored so many points I can't remember the total.