The Morning Stream - TMS 2986: Game of Bedpans

Episode Date: April 1, 2026

Shits Are Fine. Huge, disgusting grandma-shaped lady. Do Genie's have belly buttons? because I really want to know! I have nipples, Greg. Can you bet on me? Guns Neurosis. F-bomb Streaker. All Quiet on the Licorice Front. Sal Mon Dunaway. Better Call Khaleesi. Includes No Real Pandas. Fudging up your no eff-bomb record. Genies are Pirates with No Legs. Rambo was totally birthed. Old Folks in the Shat Room. Glasses To Hear By With Tom and more on this episode of The Morning Stream. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If there's one thing I know for sure, it's that your leftover pizza is gone if you leave it in there, and I am home the next day. Anyway, we could sure use your support over at patreon.com slash TMS today. Coming up on the morning stream, shits are fine. Huge, disgusting, grandma-shaped lady. Do genies have belly buttons because I, like, really wanted to know? I have nipples, Greg. Can you bet on me? Gun neurosis.

F-bomb streaker. All quiet on the licorice front. Salmon Dunaway. Better call Call Call-Cleasy. includes no real pandas. Fudging up your no F-bomb record. Genies are pirates with no legs. Rambo was totally birthed.

Old folks in the chat room. Glasses to Hereby with Tom and more on this episode of the Morning Stream. I'm the ramrod around this place and you better start giving me a yes sir. You're going to get the roof of this house pulled down on your head. Teens can have fun without dancing like sex perverts. The Morning Stream. Let's do the time warp again. Hello, everybody, and welcome to TMS. This is the morning stream for Wednesday, April 1st, 2026.

I am Scott Johnson. That is Brian Ibid. Hi, hey there. Welcome to the humpday, middle of the week, the heart of your week. Your weekday is right here. And the very tip of a new month. That's right. And you know what?

I'll say this right now to those, you know, on the fence. about joining the Patreon. Yeah. You missed some great pre-show content. Oh, yeah, no. Brian did a comparison of black licorice. A licorice taste test. Black licorice taste test.

Sign up today and you can still see it and hear it. That's right. Even though you missed it, right? We give you all the old stuff. You still get it. You can still get it, but you didn't hear it live. Yeah. This is not our gun, but this is ours.

Nope, that's not how that phrase goes. Many that look like it, but, uh, none of them are here. No, that's, that's it. None of them are here. I remember that great line in full metal jacket. This is my gun there. Many of, many like it, but none of them are here. Probably shouldn't go to war when that's happening.

Probably not. Um, I, so I got a couple things. One, we don't, we're not, it's, it's rare that we'll allow an F bomb on this show. Oh, yeah. We keep it pretty, family friendly. Occasionally something will seep out either a guest, like Nicole last week. think drop one. And she also might have had one in her

audio, too, her show audio. Like the movie that she was recommendling. Oh, right. Maybe not. Maybe. I can't remember. Sometimes that'll sneak through. You're right about that, though. Once in a while, I make an exception for planning one. And that is this. So I have a perfect

20-year podcasting record of never personally dropping an F-bomb on a show. Really? Not one. And I don't know why that is. Other than, then I just don't. And it's not, it's not a judgmental thing. John or Bo or other people drop them all the time.

And I'm just, it's no big deal. I don't care. I just, it's just a me thing. And I just don't, it's just not part of my like thing. But apparently I do have a line. And it happened yesterday while playing Resident Evil 9. Oh, sure. Yeah.

Part one of that. So I am going to share this clip with the, with the audience and you. Okay. Just so you can see. You get to see some video too. Yeah, you're going to see the time that this broke where my F-bomb streak broke. And you know, I love those streaks, right? I'm into the streaks.

You do. You're big on the streaks, yes. So now enjoy this moment of streak breaking as I hit play. Here we go. All right. So I'm running from this horrible, disgusting creature lady who wants to eat me. Oh, she's behind you? She's behind me, and I'm running with a lighter in my hand.

And I'm a terrified girl, and it's just all this stuff, right? So here we go. I hit play. shit shit in there shits are fine we always shit okay here we go oh F her dude

all right we're getting closer getting closer is this the one I saw that where they did the Shrek the Shrek mod on her no this isn't Shrek okay oh great

you're telling me there's another giant thing that stalks me in hallways okay watch you fuck what I do the lights

So this thing is in the doorway. It disappears, jumps up, or I'm sorry, jumps up and disappears like it's going into the ceiling. And then the lights completely go out. Well, see, it's my second time in that room. My first time in that room, she chased me in there. It's all very terrifying. And she tried to lurch into the room, but it turns out she, any kind of light, like bulb light will push her away. She like burns in it.

So kind of like vampires in the sun. It doesn't make any sense. But anyway, she comes in. it's very scary, huge, tall, disgusting grandma-shaped lady. She comes through the room, and then leaves. And then I get to go,

and then she climbs and the ceiling goes off, and that lets me go out and do more exploring. Well, my second time in there, I had no notion that she was going to somehow trip the breaker or whatever. Like, short the entire lighting system in that house. Yeah.

So I just have, I have my limits. Apparently that was it. Clearly, we found it. I guess that was it. That's your streak-broken moment. Yeah. Sorry kids at home. I don't normally.

Sorry, Logan. Like 20 years of professional podcasting. And it's not even a podcast. It was a live stream of a video game. Whatever you want to just it. However I want to do it. But on a live streamed a piece of content. Yes.

First F bomb ever. Yes. Well, and now that you've played it on this show, it's on a podcast for sure. Oh, exactly. You can't, you know, if you would have bleeped it, you could have still said, well, it's on a game stream. Yeah. that you've played it here.

Yeah, yeah, the genie's out of the bottle and on a beach in Mexico somewhere. Like, that genie's never going back. She just spun her chair around on the first season of the voice, that genie. You know what I like? I like the idea that genies, in my head, they're always a dude, right? Yeah, like a shirtless dude whose lower half is smoke with an earring. Huge earring, big old loop. And a top knot.

Yeah, almost like a pirate with. with no legs and just a wispy torso or whatever. Yes. Right. But if you ask my kids, all they see is Robin Williams, because we were all raised on... Sure.

Which are Mahucci. Aladdin. And that's part of my vision of it. But mine goes back further to weird shit you'd see on a Saturday afternoon. Oh, really? Simbad type stuff. Yeah. Like, right, sure.

Or even animated stuff like... I'm sure there was a genie at one point in the Flintstones or something like that. that. Yeah, but I think I'm the opposite of some people, because some people see cute lady. Barbara Eden. Barbara Eden, yeah. Never even thought about Barbara Eden. Yeah, that's true. Yeah.

Weird. See, uh, did she did they ever show her belly button? Was that the deal? No, they covered it up the whole time. They always covered it up. Yeah, that was like, naughty, naughty. She just have high-waisted baggy pants? Or did they they were their belly button pasty? What was it like a big? They were big,

balloony pants. And I think they just kind of came up to high risers. Yeah. They, uh, you know, I mean, do genies have belly buttons? There, are they birthed? Would they have an umbilical cord that gets cut? Like, would Moana have a belly button? That's a really good question.

Moana shouldn't have a belly button. And he, that, you know, might even lend to why should he have nipples. Wait a minute. Well, Moana. Oh, you mean Maui. I mean Maui and Moana. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah.

Maui shouldn't have him, he doesn't have nipples. He should not have a belly button because he's not birthed. In the cartoon, he has, he has nipples. in the live action thing so far, there's shots of the rock playing him again and he's got no nipples. No nipples, okay. Yeah.

Like, like, like, what's his name? Rambo in the 80s, that cartoon were at no nipples. Yeah. And Rambo was birthed. Rambo should have a belly button. He was. It was totally birthed. If you're birthed,

you better have nipples and a belly button or else forget it. I'm not hanging around you. That's right. Exactly. We got a quick thing here I want to talk about. So check this out. I wanted to prove something out a little bit.

I'm not trying to justify my bad behavior or any of that. Sure, sure. But I remember I told you about the issue with the cat food cans? Yeah, giving the cat food to the dog. Yes. It's this wellness brand here. I'll show you a better photo so you can actually see it up close. This is it right here.

Okay. So this is what it looks like. And it says, wellness, complete health, minced, tuna dinner, bits and light gravy, grain free. And again, you got to understand the, context. I'm coming into using these after three or four weeks of using this very size thing for dogs. Yeah. Yeah. So that didn't look very different. And I'm also going to make the argument that that cat on there looks kind of like a dog.

Like a husky. If you, if you, like when you first look at it, it could be like a like a husky. Yeah. Until you see the, the tail obviously curling around. Yeah, which I just didn't, you know, I'm not looking at these details, but to me at a glance. Yeah. And it doesn't say dog shit. It doesn't say dog anything. Or cat. Doesn't say cat. Now, if I zoom in on this tiny text below the thing, healthy food for adult cats. Yeah. Nutri.

Poor chats. Poor chats. Are they called chats there? I think it's probably pronounced kha. Okay. Yeah. CH is a kuh. Might be.

I don't know. That. So I don't know, dude. I'm not trying to say that I'm the brightest bulb and the thing. I'm just saying at a glance in the morning, you're in a hurry. I'm trying to get ready for a show. Got to feed these animals. Yeah.

Somebody else could do that. This is a bit of a mistake somebody could have made. It's a valid, you know what? I was thinking it was like going to have a picture of Morris, you know, like a purina can, a little cat picture. Like a whole face, right? Yeah. Yeah.

But, you know, you're holding up the can right there. That cat outlined, the silhouette of the cat. By the way, S.H is the sound French do with the, the C.H. Oh, so when they say, shat. Shets. Your cat. Shet in my shet. Shats in the can. Wow.

But that, you know, when you hold up the can, that thing is like six millimeters wide, that outline of a cat. Tiny. I'm gonna say, you know what, you're justified in confusing that

with a dog food can. Sure. It was in the same place. It's the same size as what you're feeding them. The cat is not obvious. No, the dog loved it. Never once did you go, or did she go,

what is this? Like, it was all, seemed fine and I was told to give him half. I kept give him a half and then I put the other in the fridge with a little timfoil and I'd take the other half feed him that at night. Yeah. And then, you know, I thought I was just in the loop. Yeah, yeah.

So you're just in the if then go to step line 20, uh, open can. Yeah. Line 30 feed cat. Yeah. If, if not cat. If, if bowl full and. And.

if not re-go to line 10 I used to love doing that writing in that basic yeah yeah back of my Apple 2E when my dad bought one I did too

but anyways is I guess I'm what I'm saying is I will admit had I been like super hyper focus which I'm not that guy to begin with

but if I had gotten this can and went all right let's just make sure well then I would have seen sure but at a glance I'm not like Mr. McGoo I didn't go to the store

feed, like normally feed the cat. Like, you'll normally be the person who feeds the dog, correct? Only the dogs. The cats almost have nothing to do with unless Carter's out of town. And in that case, he has this hard food he's supposed to eat that's coming through an auto dispenser where nobody has to do anything

for a week. So. Oh, sure, right. So even then, you know, there's just no cat maintenance needed to be done. That's a love about cats. Oh, they're great that way, right? Don't have to take him for a walk, you know. You leave for a weekend? You're good. Somebody can come in, clean the litter box once,

twice maybe give them some soft food good dog it's like all right every 10 minutes you need to take the dog out for a walk or they're gonna poop on the carpet or you need to do this or do that yeah the only problem is when they're pissed or they bring you a half a rat or whatever yeah yeah that's the only problem yeah full rat's no problem no I don't mind full rat you bring me a rat head though or a torso yeah no no that's why it's a horror show our our cats are both indoor cats and they will stay that way. Excellent. We don't need anything from the outdoors coming inside.

Well, speaking of a guy who's got some cats. Yeah. My music signifies the entrance of one Brian Don't Away. Hello, Brian. Oh, hi Scott and Brian. So many freaking signs, Scott. I know. Good Lord, you're killing me, dude.

It's not that bad. So many signs on the can. I mean, there's two signs. There's a silhouette that's easily could be a dog. Very rarely does any cat, can any dog food come? that size of a can unless you've got a little bitty baby chihuahua. Well, Rainer's kind of small. Tuna is not a thing that they put in dog food typically.

There's like, other than it, other than it, meowing at you. Yeah. But they do salmon, right? Salmon's a thing you get in a dog thing. Right?

Sometimes they'll put salmon in there. Yes. Well, why do you know that? Salmon. Salmon, he says. Oh, my. Like, resty? Salmon.

Salmon. Salmon. Salmon. birthday. It is my Salmon birthday. Gordon. It's good. Flesh, Gordon. Brian Dunaway is here because we're going to play a game. It's called the Tad Pooley Feud, and Brian Ibit is the man with the keys to the van. So explain what

we're doing here. Let's start this thing up. It's time to play the Tadpulli feud. I've surveyed the Tadpool on some nerdy topics. And Scott and Brian have to break the answers they gave us. It is their job to see how many of those answers they can guess. At the end of the game, we're going to add up all the points, and the winner will actually be winning prizes for their listener contestant and contestants have been pulled from our supporters

on Patreon at patreon.com slash TMS. Scott, you're playing for John Owens. Oh, hello, John Owens. Happy to play with you. Brian, you're playing from Jeff Jensen. What was it, Jeff Jensen? Jeff Jensen.

I knew it Jeff Jensen. Jim Jensen, I think, still listens to the show. His little brother's name was Jeff Jensen. And I think I think it was Jeff Jensen that put speaking of this, I think he put a cat with, gave a cat,

um, X-lax and then put the cat in his friend's car. He was trying to get, or no, some girl's car in the middle of summer, close the car up, put the cat in there. Oh,

I was terrible. Okay. And the cat shit all over the car, all of, all the interior, all just shit all over the place. Cat was okay though. He made it out.

It was all right. That and the story that Carter told of you hucking a cat over the fence. I know. These are terrible cat experiences. These will, your, your afterlife is going to be a cat cafe. Well, I didn't do the cat diarrhea thing. This was Jeff Jensen.

Oh, that's true. That's true. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that guy gets to pay for his own sense. You're complicit. You're complicit. You knew about it. Well, I knew after the fact.

Let's put it that way. All right. Yeah. Yeah. My hands are clean on that one. But not throwing it over the fence. But not the car. No.

No. That girl's BMW or dad bought her is not clean. Anyway. Oh, geez. What? Yeah. All right. That's like, that's definitely got to be criminal, right?

You can't just do that. That's got to be criminal. I mean, you'd think it would be, right? Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know. Who knows? Like Fiona Apple says, that's criminal.

Yeah. I just heard that song yesterday. Funny you bring it up. Oh. Yeah. I like me some Fiona Apple. Yeah. I just don't like her album title naming process.

Oh. What's the process? Yeah. What's the process? She puts as many words into the title as she possibly can. Did you not know about the album that? begins when the pawn no yeah yeah yeah i mean i i i've appreciated the album titles i thought there's a process i thought you meant like she put she put names in a hat and then she shook up or something

all right the full title is when the pawn hits the conflicts he thinks like a king what he knows throws the blows when he goes to the fight and he'll win the whole thing for he enters the ring there's nobody no to batter when your mind is your might so when you go solo you hold your own hand and remember that depth is the greatest of heights and if you know where you stand then you know where to land and if you fall it won't matter because you'll know that you're right it sounds like she's not paying by the letter no that's right not paying by characters like we used to do so that's why i don't ever tell apple music to play a song from that album wow okay but all these others like extraordinary machine and the idler wheel and the fetch the bolt cutters these are these are okay because they're

shortish all good these are fine yes exactly all right was that bolt cutter is that fetch the bolt cutter touch the bolt cutter you got a fetch you got a fetch Fetch the bolt cutter. I've never, never, I don't think I've got that album. Released April 17th, 2020. So now six years old. Okay. Is that her most recent?

I think so. Is this the last one? Yeah. It's her last album so far. She hasn't done anything since. So I know she's, well, she's done. How dare her about making an album in six years?

Oh, she is. You know what? You got a good point about, uh, cadence here. 2005, then 2012, then 2020, like big gaps between releases. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. It's not like the Led Zeppelin. We're going to release an album at the beginning of 1978 and an album at the end of

1970. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. All right. Well, anyway. Let's get to the game. Yeah, let's play the game. I thought this was the Fiona cast. Okay, I'm sorry. Yeah, let's play the game. Welcome to Fiona cast where we discuss all things, Fiona Apple. Pretty hot. All right. Put your hands on your buzzers and give me your best answer to this. We asked, how many did I say here, 355 tadpoolers to name?

a successful fictional television series that it's got game of thrones show me game of thrones I got it wrong didn't I should have waited sometimes jump in the gun help sometimes it doesn't I'll repeat the whole question for Brian Dunaway name a successful

fictional television series that is set predominantly in a hospital police station or lawyer's office shit hospital police station or you know like game of throne Lawyers office, law office. I'm going to go. Yeah.

The law office of Targaryen, Stark, and Lannister. We're about to kick Lannister out. Have you been injured in a dragon accident? That could have not been better. So dumb. That could have not been better. But all I can think of is law and order. Law and order.

All right. Show me law and or order. Are you kidding me? Number seven. I did include SVU in there too because people said, a couple people said SVU and so I just jumbled it in there. They're right to include them. I think that's fine. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. Then I'm going to have to go with my, okay, let me read the question completely. That is a lot of characters. Yeah, that's right. And you are, you do have the board, by the way. Oh, thank you very much. Of course.

14 points. And it looks, oh, seven points. No, seven points. Yeah. Okay. All right. Oh, that's okay. And you complain about Fiona Apple's long titles.

Let's see. Name a successful fictional telebacteries or separate family in a hospital, police station, or a lawyer's office. How about, let's go to the ER. That's emergency room. And the only thing I remember about that show is to keep your hands down when you're getting to helicopter. Yep, it's true. Yeah. Quick lesson learned.

Show me. Number one. Number one. Damn. Most popular answer from the Tadpool. When was this asked? This question was asked earlier, like end of last year, December, November, I think. So recent.

Recent data. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was thinking one particular show that's been very popular lately. Sure. Is that something like in a hospital police station? There's two of them I'm thinking of that have had some. recent success. I'm going to say, I'm going to say, House. House. House. House. Do it. House.

Sometimes called House MD, but not on Wikipedia where I confirmed it. Show me, host. Number six, answer on the board, taking you to 14 pointerones. Okay. You're doing good, man. Yeah. I'm doing okay. I'm doing okay. If you can do what Scott's done the last couple times and run the board for a while. Run the slate. You can do it. out that okay um i kind of want to stick

with the hospital stuff since it was the first in the question i think a lot of people jump right on it i'm gonna say gray's anatomy which is run forever praise anatomy what are they on there like 17 season or something yeah yeah uh show me

mcdreamy number five gray's anatomy scary i am all right all right all right now i'm gonna go now i'm gonna get i'm feeling a little comfortable now Okay, good. All right, good.

All right. How's about the pit? Is that the one you were hesitant about? Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I was trying to. This is too new. It's really hit, it hit big, really, yeah. Yeah. But I mean, the first season was big, too, yeah.

I'm betting this is on there. Let's see if we're right. Let's see if we're right. Show me the pit. Yeah, number three. Yeah, there we go. That's good. I'm not giving my law.

My law dog's any love, though. What's you, man? You gotta do it. Police station. I mean, your law and order is your lawdollies, right? Yeah, yeah. Liar's office, though. Lawyer's office, all I can think of is one.

I can only think, actually, I thought it two. I thought of two. Oh, actually, I thought of three. Oh, wow. Look at that. Look at how you avoid the timer. Look at the thinking on Brian. Yeah.

Look how he avoids that timer. Like, he's juking and jiving around the timer. It's fantastic. True. Let's start that time. I'm going to say, oh, shut up, Matlock. Matt lock. Mattlock. All right.

Show me. Does Matlock take place in any of those kind of places? He's a lawyer, right? He's a lawyer. He's a lawyer. All right. All right. Show me.

Mattlock. Thank it. That's for old people. That is for old people. Yeah. All right. I'm trying to pitch around. I say as I eat my black licorice.

That shows for old people. Let's go NYPD Blue. Oh, sure. That's a good one. I did that. NPD Blue. Show me NYPD Blue. You are freaking and kidding me.

It's one of the all-timers, man. Number 22 on the list, NYPD Blue. Oh, wow. Sipwitz his butt in the shower, everything. You get it all. I know, exactly. Holy Moses. All right.

I'm going to back over to Dunnell. My confidence is shattered. I swear I. Oh, Shatner. How about Boston legal? I was hoping you could say it to everyone. Hold that other one just in case. Yeah, yeah.

Show me Boston Legal. Oh, look at that. It's a three-way tie. Boston Legal L.A. law. Oh, four-way tie. Boston Legal L.A. law, mash and suits all got six. My gosh. Six picks.

And I didn't have the heart to pick one over the other and put it in the 11. So I gave them all. Give them all to you. Yeah. That was a nice. thing to do. Yeah, this is generous of me. Very much. How are we doing? How are we doing, Tom? Okay, I'm going to say, um,

I'm going to say, Tom is tapping his foot and he's saying, I can't, I can't general hospital. I just can't not do it. I just can't not say journal hospital. It's in the name. All right. All right. Show me general hospital.

Number, uh, 15. So pretty close, actually. Yeah, yeah. It does feel like hospital heavy so far in these answers. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. It's very hospital heavy. Yeah. So I'm going to try to stay in that and say, oh.

Ooh. Wait, did we do L.A. law? You know what? I'm going to take a swing at L.A. law. Okay. La, law. This is going to be a problem. It's number already there, number 11.

Oh, it was in the tie? Oh, shit. It was in the tie. I didn't pay attention to all the names in the tie. Damn it. All right, Donaway. You got a hole jumping in. Oh, I got only got one lift.

All right. I can either do Allie McBill or I can look at the chat room. I got one lift. I am ahead. Let me look at the chat room. Barney Miller. That's good. Diagnosis of Murder.

Chicago Hope, Hill Street Blues. Cing. The Miss Hulk. Ooh, that's a good one. Lawyer. Hulk. Fine. Miss Hulk.

Hulk. Lady Hulk. Lady Hulk. Yeah. She Hulk. Maybe she Hulk. No. Surprisingly, no.

I'm amazed that because of the recentness of the show. I was surprised she Hulk. Not even on the list. Okay. Not even among the 355 answers we got. Scott, one one strike left. I can only think of Chicago Hope.

I'll stay in the hospitals. Look at the chat. You're doing some good ones. Yeah, Chicago, that's a good one. Let's do it. All right. Hope. Show me. Chicago Hope. Chicago Hope was...

No, Chicago Nope. Don't away. Nope. Chicago Hope, not even again. Not even on the list, surprisingly. Let's see what these missing answers are. Number two just came back for a reboot or a sequel. Scrubs. Continuation. Scrubs is right. Yep. Oh, shit. The funniest cop show of all time.

Brooklyn 99. Brooklyn 99. Wow. You can just give these hints. We just killing it. now. The second funniest cop show of all time. The wire, just kidding. Oh, that's good. Barney Miller.

Somebody said Barney Miller, I think. I thought you said there was no old folks in the chat. In the chat. In the chat. You're saying about a cat? Yeah, in the cat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the chat.

Yeah. Back to the hospital for the competitor to, emergency. Oh, no. What was it? St. elsewhere. Well, the competitor to ER was Chicago.

Hope because that was error appropriate. Yeah, St. Elsewhere was way early, but I'm shocked and made it. I loved St. Elsewhere, but I thought, no way these oldies are going to be voting for that. But people pick that over some of the other things. For NYPD Blue, for example. And number 10, kind of surprising

here too, but the rookie. I wouldn't have thought that. Interesting. So not Castle, they went with the rookie. Not Castle, they went with the rookie. Some other ones on the list, better call Saul, Hill Street Blues. Al McBeal was number 18

so it wouldn't have helped you to said that. The funniest hospital sitcom is St. Dennis Medical. Love that show. Oh, okay. He's really good. Wrenne McClendon Covey, man. She is the best thing on that on that show. Yeah, that's really good.

Castle number 20, Night Court, 21. Not really it's not really in a law office, though. It's in a court. Yeah. Yeah. We sometimes retreat to the lawyers in Dan, Dan Buildings. Yeah, Dan Fielding. have a little episode.

His little office, yeah. The practice, the Andy Griffith Show, Ben Casey, Blue Bloods, cop rock, come on now,

cops, department queue. Somebody said ER, which was not the E slash R, which was a different thing than ER, which is a sitcom.

Oh, but also had Clooney in it, funny enough. Also had Clooney in it. Yeah. Emergency from 1972, Franklin and Bash, Green Wing,

Homicide Life on the streets, Lucifer, Matt Locke, the new one. Matt Luck did make it on the list. There we go. Monk, New Amsterdam, Perry Mason. No wire?

Station Murdoch Mysteries. The wire's not on here. The wire is not on here. Okay. That's effed up. Okay. That's effed up. Yeah, it is.

It is. Space Precinct, Taggerit, Reno 911, Syke, the good doctor, the good wife, and third watch. Oh, they should have done Enus. Oh, man. Nobody got Enis. Nobody got Enis. Enis last is like two hours.

spin off from what you're going to call it. So, hey, that means. Duke's a hazard. Come on. Duke Zazard. There we go. That means congratulations going out to Jeff Jensen. You are a winner today.

You're getting a copy of Out of Line and Cook Served Delicious 3. Wait a minute. Did we already give these away? No. We've done Cook Served Delicious before, but I think it's a different giveaway. Someone else's a different giveaway. Okay. Yeah.

Okay, good. Yep, just making sure because I put a slash through those. Cook served Delicious Three and out of line. but don't worry, John Owens. You're getting a copy of Crime Boss, Rock A. City, first month edition. Nice. Ooh, first month edition. First month edition.

I don't know what that means, but congratulations. Well done. Congratulations. Watch for your PMs there on your, what do you call it? Their Patreon DMs, that's what I meant to say. And those will be coming to you today. Also, Brian Dunaway, you and I, you would do in a little play retro tonight, playing a game that you love on the GameCube.

Tell people what it is and why they should show up for that. Absolutely. about Cheeby Robo is a little small robot and I've been excited about talking about this chore core as Scott calls him for a while now. It was on the GameCube back in 2005 and it is a personal favorite and Scott was kind

enough to let me play it this week after a rough week last week. So it turns out. It turns out it's actually pretty good. I have to admit. I played a bit last night. Yeah, it's good. So we'll talk about it tonight. That'll be at 4 p.m. Mountain Time if you want to catch it live. Otherwise, just check out the podcast wherever you get them or just go to the

Play Retro website. frogpants.com slash play retro. Brian done away kiss our butts. All right. Guys, it's time. It's time. It's time. Now is the time. This is the place. What are we, what am I talking about? This. Isn't technology wonderful?

It sure can be, but only when Tom Merritt is involved in the dispensing of the technology knowledge. Had to finish that sense. Tom Merritt, welcome to the program. How are you? Thank you for having me. Scott and Brian. I'm Tom Merritt, fan of emergency. Oh. Emergency. The 1972 emergency television show. Did you have the board game?

We did. We had the board game because at like six years old, that was the TV show I chose to watch. I love it. I get it. Everybody I know who liked that TV show also had the board games. So maybe you needed that extra, you know, maybe the TV show wasn't complete unless you also played the board game. Was the board game good? In fact, I would take my matchbox ambulance and use it on the board game.

As opposed to the little plastic or the paper cardboard. Yeah. Was it good? Was this a board game? Yeah. No. It wasn't very good. It was incredibly boring.

Oh, all right. But I loved it as a kid because I was playing emergency, right? Yeah. And the only reason I say that is I went back later with fond memories and I was like, this game is pretty simple. In our Discord, the TMS Discord chat, Scott, there is the board from the emergency board game. Let me look right now, just for the hex of it. Where is it?

It's like the game of life with blood. Yeah. Oh, yeah, look at that. But not as complicated. Not as complicated. It's true. Oh, yeah. It's like it's little streets and you do your emergencies.

Okay. I mean, that seems like there's maybe a decent foundation there, you know? For sure. Yeah. Did they make an Adam 12 board a game or no? That's a good question. Well, this was news to me. I had no idea.

That's great. Let us dive into this week's tech question for Tom Merritt. It has been prepared, ever so lovingly by a listener whose name is, Stant 71. St-A-N-T-S-E-N-T-E-S-E-N-K-K-E-N-K-K-E. Never heard a name like that, but we're happy to have him. I liked the song with Dido.

Yeah, it was really good. He says, hey, guys, I don't hear Tom talk too much about wearables anymore. I'm not sure you're ever, like, on here yapping about wearables, but whatever. Did that market die, and we are all just moving to whatever is next? Is Open AI still working on an AI-powered wearable? Should any of us care? asks Stant 71. It's a good question.

I mean, I do feel like it's cooled, but as always, the answer is perhaps more nuanced than the obvious one that they're dead. There's probably more going on there. So, Tom, what's going on with wearables? I don't know. I'm wearing two watches right now.

Does that answer your question? You are into the wearables. I have a pebble and an Apple watch. I think the reason you probably don't hear them talked about as much is there's not a lot of news around wearables. The wearables you will hear me talk about often are ura rings and smart glasses. And maybe you're not thinking about smart glasses as wearables, right? That's true.

I think that's part of this too. But smart glasses are taken off. People buy them and like them. I think they would go wider if you didn't have to, like some people just don't want to wear glasses or they have a prescription and they don't want to go through the trouble of getting the prescription from their doctor. and, you know, like, it's not that hard, but it's just one little bit of friction

that maybe stops somebody on the edge from getting them. But they're taken off. They're pretty popular. And I think smart watches, in fact, Google has an announcement about a screenless fitness tracker out today. I think what happened with wearables is they got kind of commodified. So they're not blowing up in the news,

so you're not hearing about them as much, but they're fairly popular. and people do use them and like them. I think the other part of this question is, what about pendants? What about, you know, new stuff? Or the Pell thing. What was that?

Yeah, the smart pins and all of that. We had our first wave, you might call it the 1999 Microsoft tablet era wave of pins that were bad. And some of them even got pulled from the market. So I think we're still waiting for somebody to crack what would happen there. I know OpenAI has been working on it, but Open AI is also shifting its strategies to focus more on enterprise-ish, you know, coding-related stuff. So we'll see how that

affects their hardware strategy. I know Apple's reportedly working on some kind of pin-like wearable that would give you some ambient ability to question. But to me, it's not that wearables are going away. They're sort of leveled out. And so you've got what you've gotten. It's pretty good. And we're waiting for the next innovative thing to come along. Yeah.

In fact, when you were talking offline about this very question, there feels like a narrowing is happening. And I would include even, I know it's not exactly the same, but it is a wearable device. But VR is an example, that you're seeing that tone, getting toned down meta is sort of getting, not getting out of that business, but they are severely cutting back

on what their VR plans are and shifting more of this focus over to the glasses. And it just feels like a narrowing of the market in the same way that the dot com quote unquote bubble of the 2000 era or whatever was we're trying everything to see what works

and it turns out not everything works. So there was a narrowing. People call it the busting of the bubble. But to me it's a correction of like, no, now we kind of know better where we need to go and what's actually going to work. AI is kind of going through some of those machinations now.

So the idea that wearables would go through that makes perfect sense to me. And the glasses I'm seeing more often than I used to, like in public. Yeah. And I recognize them just because I'm paying attention to what they look like. And I can also see the little thing in the corner that's like the camera, a little hole. Yeah, the reflective little circle. Well, hopefully you're not seeing the light because that means their video. They're recording you right there.

Well, hopefully you are seeing the light. If they're recording it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I want to know when they're doing that. That'll be good. If I could see a little light as Bob Bold wants it. Has there been like a killer version of that device?

Is it meta? Is it somebody else's? If there is something you would call a killer, it is the Raybans. Those are the ones everybody likes, and the Oakley's as well. They just put out a new version that's easier to get your prescriptions in, supports transition lenses, supports some of the nose pad refinements that your optician can do to make them comfortable. for you. So it definitely is worth it for them to do that kind of fiddly stuff

to increase adoption, and those are the ones I see the most. I don't know if the display-oriented ones have really ramped up yet. They're very limited in what they display. It's more like what they can... Yeah, yeah. It's what they well, the meta has their own display

ones as well. And what they can tell you can show up in your field of vision. So it's not like augmented reality. display. So I think that's why you don't hear as much about those. That's the one that I'm wanting. Like my, you know, my niece got me these, uh, the Oakley's that I pretty much only use now when I'm um, Ubering because it's very easy for me to double tap the temple and have the music go from the car to my, to my glasses if they're on the phone. I can, um, although then to them, it sounds like I've

just turned off the music so I could listen to another conversation. But hopefully they, you know, I'm very obvious when I tap my glasses to make it send the music there. But for cycling, like, that's, I'd love to get a pair of the vanguard. So I'm hoping that my niece wins another sales contest and can score me a set of those. Yeah, go nice. These are so expensive. $4.99 for the. Oh, for the Oakley's, yeah.

Well, let's see. The Rayban is actually the same. And that's before you add the prescription, if you need one. Yeah. Oh, right. Right. This one they claim is, well, I'm not sure. I'm looking on the Rayban site.

and they have one here that says Rayban meta-blazer optics Gen 2, 499. That's the new one. Yeah. And then it says made for prescription. That seems to say they're just easier to get prescriptions or something. Yeah, you could get prescription lenses in the previous ones, but it was basically like, whatever

glass is in there will make it your prescription. That's it. Now you can get transition lenses, progressive lenses, and like I said, the nose pads and stuff are adjustable on those models. So when you go to the, and you can get them from opticians. So you can go to, you know, your whatever mall store you get your glasses at and they can get them for you and fine-tune and make them, make sure they fit for you.

My friend Eric said that these glasses are, how did he put it? He says, these are just stepping stones to the implants we're all going to get. So I'm just going to wait. It's like waiting for the new console or something. I mean, I guess everything has been a stepping stone toward the implants will eventually get. It's where my head goes eventually too is like, oh, yeah, you're. You're just going to get something they put in your neck, you know, and old people like us are going to go, well, I don't want anything in my neck.

Come on, grandpa. It's not that big a deal. The government is finally going to be able to track me, not like I've been using the cell phone for 20 years. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If they're tracking me, they're already doing it. Voluntarily carrying around a tracking. Well, it's interesting stuff in the sense that when things tend to consolidate like this, that is usually when you start to see mass adoption of things or start to see it ramp up to

where people are interested in getting more. And that ramping up will drive prices down, not up. So hopefully. I was expecting this to be the year of the smart glasses. I believe we're going to get some from Samsung Google. We're supposed to get some maybe from Apple. I wonder, though, if the component shortages are going to push some of those dates off. Oh, could be.

Because even though the parts that go into a smart glass setup are not the same that go into a data center rack, it's the capacity of the manufacturing has been given to creating all of that stuff for data centers. And so there's less capacity and drives up the price for these other kinds of components. Sure. I don't know where I stand on what kind of wearable I'd want. The glasses present some issues for me as a cataract surgery person because my eyes are weird and different and I have to plan accordingly. And it sounds like these new ones might accommodate that. Yeah, yeah.

But I should. I kind of want, I don't know who will do it. And I don't know how it'll work and I don't even know if it's going to be good. But the lapel or pin style thing sounds interesting to me beyond all this because of the way I would use it. I think I would be more interested in that than little heads up displays. I don't know. Actually, I don't know what I want. I think I'm the other way.

And I wear glasses every day. So part of me is like, yeah, I don't care if there's another pair of glasses. But I would like to have something kind of in my field of vision versus something talking to me or something talking into my ear. necessarily, which I guess the pin could do. You could have something in your ear, but the glasses are a better way of doing that. It's a less obtrusive way of doing it. That's true. And isn't the audio on those? It's not bone conduction, is it?

Or is it? There's like some kind of little speaker or something right there. Yeah, it's a speaker that's right by your ear. And I don't think it's technically bone conduction, but it's not something you can easily hear if you're not right next to that person's ear. The quests are like that a little bit. The VR audio, if you don't use headphones, it's like loud to you, but everybody else can't really hear it. And you can also pair them with headphones.

So if you're like, oh, I'm going to be on a subway. I don't want a bunch of people hearing what's in my glasses. You can put in earphones and listen to them that way. Is anyone doing a deal with Anthropic? Do you know of any combo there? Because I know, you know. I don't. I imagine they are.

I don't know of anything off the top of my head. And I don't think Anthropic has a hardware strategy of its own at this point. Yeah, they'd have to partner. But I'm sure there's so many different companies, so many startups in this. this space. There's got to be somebody that's doing it. Yeah. Get with a, not Webo. What's the name of the glasses thing where you get them cheap?

Oh, Warby Parker. Warby Parker. Yeah, Warby Parker. Is partnering with Google. Oh, they are. Okay. So that's interesting. I like Gemini better than GPT or anything opening I was working on. Yeah. That could be interesting. And I think it would be interesting if Apple, because they're going to have a strategy according to Bloomberg, that will allow you to pick your model on Siri. I wonder if their glasses would do that as well. Oh, yeah.

Up till now, I thought there was all this talk about them signing up with Gemini, and it sounded like it was going to be exclusive, but then this news lately about letting you choose your platform, your AI platform, kind of like that. Yeah. That's where we're headed to a place where I really like it not to be just one or two. I want it to be some, there should be some competition there. And then you can make decisions like, well, these guys seem to care. more because all their data centers are water cooled or they've partnered with water cooled data center this or that and the water cooling is self-contained it's like yeah yeah yeah you know it's not evaporative yeah some of these like ethical questions that surround all the conversation

with AI you can make better decisions with more competition so I hope that happens look tech makes some glasses that let you choose your model and I think uh there's a couple others like solos maybe uh it looks like it might be another one that does that but yeah there's there's a couple startups out there that are doing the choose your model thing and then you could decide to use claude if you want. So what it sounds like to me, Stant 71 is you have options. Yeah. And you're not crazy if you're like, why don't I hear about wearables as much anymore? Because we are in that period where they, other than the Uro ring stuff and whoop is another one that's real popular out there, you don't see a lot of heat rising off of these at the moment. But I think that's going to change in

the next year or so. tech news cycles, like they just go sometimes, you know? Yep. Remember when Twitter was all anybody could talk about because it was new, but also these implications of the way social media was going to maybe blow up or work or whatever, it created just a huge news churn constantly? And some people would be like, I'm tired of talking about Twitter. But we did that we do with Apple.

Right now, I'm tired of hearing about AI. Yeah. And then three or four years from now, Stan's going to be writing in, why don't I hear about AI? Yeah, what happened? Why is it all about quantum holography now? I'm so tired of talking about monkey fighting AI on this Monday Friday podcast. There you go.

Well, Tom, as always, good stuff. If there's anything happening in your world, we'd sure like to know about it. Well, there is, as a matter of fact. Well, first of all, I know everybody's talking about it all the time, but nerdtacular I'm looking very much forward to as we get closer and closer now that we're into April, right? Yeah, we're getting close, dude. I don't like how close we are, to be honest. I know.

It's a mixed feeling for you. Sure. But we all know that the fact that you are nervous about it means it's going to go well. Yeah, the more nervous you are, the more... Someone told me this once. It may have been Tom. But the more nervous you are, the more sign that you actually give a crap and you're working hard on a thing. And so I'm going to take that to heart as I sleep with a stomachache.

I'm just kidding. I'm fine. I'm all right. But look at Tom right there. Look at him, you guys. Look at his picture there. That's an older photo. hey. Yeah. They are of all of us.

Aren't they all? Exactly. Yeah, that's Ryan like 10, 15 years ago. There's brandy 10 years ago. Back with my beard was all black. Yeah, or all dark brown. That's me in 2017. Nobody used anything new except Carter and she looks like a badass. So, there you go. Anyway. So yeah, we're doing a DT&S Friday hangout there. Check that out. We're going to be doing some karaoke there. Check that out. I'm excited about all of that. So come join us if you're not planning to already. Absolutely. Get your tickets. Reserve your hotel. Check out the schedule. All of

it's there. And if you can't come, you can get a swag bag that helps the event too. So do that. Tom Merritt, it is extremely nice to have you here as always. The only thing I would like to say to you is this. May all your chickens be squawking. Bye now. Thank you. Yeah, sure. Sure, why not? Oh, that was weird. What's that? Actually, closed Discord. I actually just didn't mean to do that. All right. We're okay. Everything's good. Okay. All right. Guys, we're going to read a couple emails and then get us out of here. Here's one from Kerns Burns.

Not Kearns, Utah, which is near I want to say that's near K-T-Data, but it's Kerr-K-E-R-N-S. He might be local. Anyway, deer skis and boat. Did either of you grow up around lakes and water sports? If so, what was that like? Brian, you'd start. I did, yes. I had a little sunfish sailboat.

So most weekends, during the summer, my dad would take me up to Carter Lake. He kept his boat up there, so he would just tow mine back and forth up there with us. And it was a little one person sunfish. We've seen, I think we've seen a film sack movie where like Wet Hot American Summer or something. Or no, it was the one. The Jaws movie or something? It was the camp movie where.

Oh, oh, the one with the girl was actually a dude. The girl was actually the boy, yes. Camp, scream away camp or some shit like that. Sleepaway camp, yes. Scream away. That's a much better. I give everything mad magazine titles for the parodies. That's how I do movies.

Yeah, the little boat that they have at the beginning that gets hit by the motorboat was the kind of sailboat I had. So I did all that during the summertime and got majorly sunburned and all that stuff. Yeah, my skin, I paid for it. that in moles now. I have all these moles. Yeah. But I don't have underneath. I have baby skin here. This is nothing. But this, the hell's going on. I could connect the dots and make a tattoo.

Yeah, I've got a couple of those myself. This guy right here is the one that worries. Oh, yeah, keep an eye on that bastard. Yeah. So I've won it there too. That's a cat, cat claw mark. Oh, well, yeah. Don't let him eat the mole. She actually got her claw stuck in my skin, like curved through like a, like she was sewing something shut. That hurts me, just here you said.

Here's what I did. We grew up going to Lake Powell every, usually the Utah side, sometimes the Arizona side, but usually bullfrog. And it was every year of my childhood, really, probably three times a year. And my dad had a boat and a motorhome we had for a while. And we skied like crazy.

We had this thing called the board, which was just this, pull you pull it like a boogie board but we had this we just called it the board the board and at one point we were at Utah Lake which is nowhere near Lake Powell but we were just there on a weekend whatever and this is when I started to believe there were monsters in Utah Lake because my sister was riding on that board and it suddenly started pulling under down under the water oh geez and she freaked out kind of got off as Misha, and it got pulled down, and then we didn't see it for a long time.

And the cord was just taught from the boat. Wow. And we were like, what... Even when the boat stopped, like, it was still... And we were about to cut it because we were like, this is anchored somewhere, it got stuck somewhere. Yeah, cut in some weeds or trees down there or something like that. Yeah, and then suddenly, while we're considering cutting it,

the board goes, poosh, like a bar of soap, lands back down. Like the jet skis in Waterworld. Yeah. And then it had this. big gouge on it that to me as a kid now I know as an adult it was not this but to me it looked like bite marks sure of course so I thought there's

some late creature that just like ate this board wow yeah but that's we had a lot of experiences and fun stuff lots of photos we went to like pal all the time we basically felt like we lived there for a while and then the video game business crashed and my dad lost all that

so we didn't have the boat or the motor home anymore yeah kind of sucked anyway it's fun stuff Here's one from Steph. He's got a lot of Fs in her name. I got a lot of Fs on my podcast list. She says, OK, Scott.

Okay, hey, Scott, SLC local here. I like the okay, hey, Scott. That's fine. Okay, hey. Almost a Minnesota in there. Okay, hey. Says I was at work earlier this week, and one of my coworkers was talking about

making weekend snowbird reservations, and I heard her say she would stop at the clip clock. I asked her to repeat herself, to which I heard Cliff Club. Apparently part of the Snowberg Cliff Lodge is a place called the Cliff Club. That is true. The Cliff Club is an upper floor thing. Fancy restaurant deal. Fancy than the Airy?

Yeah. In fact, it might actually, the airy may now be that. Okay. Not actually positive about that. I've met up there in a bit, but I think something may have changed there. Anyway, perhaps that wild voicemail earlier was somebody all those years ago and they were not completely confused saying Cliff Club instead of Clop. No, there was no Cliff Club. back then though.

Okay. That name's new. Yeah, that wouldn't be right. Yeah, sure. Yeah. It says, wow, did I just ruin clip clop? Love the show, though. No, you did not, Steph.

Still the clip clop. It's certainly, like, is her saying Cliff Lodge. Cliff Lodge? Yeah, she's trying to say Cliff Lodge, which is what that whole building is called. Yeah. Let's see if I can find it. Yeah, if you've got that. I haven't played it in a while, so it might be kind of hidden in here.

Clip Lop. Oh, come on. It's got to be in here. Cliff Lodge. Does I spell it out normal? Oh, what have I done? Oh, no. Oh, no.

Clop, maybe one word. No? Just do a search for clop. Yeah, Klop would do it, right? Oh, my gosh. Where is this woman? Oh, no. That can't be.

The crash was before that, so I didn't lose it. And I'll find it. I'm sure I've just said, I'm probably, I'm terrible at tagging my shit. I've got to do better. Anyway, Thank you for your messages, everybody.

I forgot to play your intro for that. This is about the jugs of pain. I got to move those two. That's happened two days in a row now. Anyway, thanks for those messages. Send them to our voicemail, our text, our email, or however you feel fit over at frogpants.com slash TMS. Today, you can watch the entirety of that Resident Evil 9, part one play.

That's a two-hour run. We're doing it every week until I'm done on Monday. days, but, or Tuesdays. Tuesday. Has John already played through the entire thing? Six times. Jeez. And he's got it down to where he can beat it in like a few hours.

It's like nothing. Really speed run the brand new Resident Evil. Part of it's because he's got like all, you know, you unlock all these crazy weapons and abilities that you can then take to the next run. But that first run, I think it took him eight to ten hours, which is about average. That's what most people are taking. It's not a gigantic campaign, but it's, you know, it's like these, they don't over say they're welcome which is actually good that's good but he's beat it so many times

that while we're playing he knows everything where I'm about to turn a corner and there's something bad going to happen even a slight sound trigger scare or something like that he knows about all of them because he's played through it that many times so what he's doing is he's like distracting me going yes yeah so you want to be careful walking that one way and I'm like I'll go this way then blah and that's something terrible to happen fantastic I love I love the fact that he can like, yeah, misdirect you into fear. Well, all two hours of that first session, plus a mashup shortened version and a bunch of shorts are up on the YouTube channel. So go check it out.

YouTube.com slash Scott Johnson. All right. That's going to do it for today. Brian. The question I have is, did Mark Knopfler get mentioned at any time? Not yet, but I did say Jesus H. What? What's the?

Oh, Jesus H hurdles. H hurdles? Don't ask me, dude. All right. No, I wasn't hurtling. No. There was nothing to jump over at the time. It just came out.

It's a little redundant because, as we all know, Jesus Christ's middle name is hurdles. Yeah, it is hurdles. It's what the H stands for. It's Jesus hurdles Christ. You know, I've only ever heard the F word version of that, so it was unclear. Oh, sealing anus, yeah, there's a, these things that she comes out of, they look like big rips in the ceiling material, and it looks like a butthole. So I always, I called those sealing anuses. Sealing anus.

And then the huge F-ponis. It was a good time. Tell your friends. All right, that's it. Brian, let's play a song and go. Yeah, format wrote in. We have a lot of people who had requests in birthdays on April 1st, so I'll get to those. Format got theirs in first on February 28th, so over a month ago, they got it in.

46th rotation, Woot, Woot, is all it says. So happy 46th birthday format. that their request is the cover of I used to love her, but I had to kill her by guns, no roses. Now, here's the funny part. It's done by L7. Yeah. And if you know anything about L7, you know that they're lesbians, a lesbian band. So you'd think they would just keep the gender and the title the same and in the lyrics.

but no, they change it to I used to love him, but I had to kill him. Oh, man. Are there seven lesbians in the band? No, no, it's just the square. Like L7 is a square. Okay. Oh, I'll get it.

When you make that, yeah, when you make that shape with your hands. Oh, right. Anyway, here you go. Here's L7, used to love him. This has been a frogpant's production. Find all our shows at frogpants.com. There's a doldo.